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rossella, and anyone else,my brother also visited last week , the one who lives 6 hrs away, and we had a nice visit, but after he left I felt like I have allowed myself to be "used" by being the only caregiver here.
the world certainly has changed from when I was young. The neighbor told me that his daughter just got a good paying job in a dispensary for medical marijuana. Being a translator is a job which is in demand now, it's great that you are fluent in different languages. There is a trend now for companies to let employees work from their home computers. It makes sense.
I'm looking out at a beautiful sunrise and am looking forward to spending time outside today. I do, however, feel the need to complain. It is really hard to have to go without because of not enough money. I need a GD ramp to get my mom down the stairs but don't have enough to buy one. It ticks me off. Speaking of ticks, spring on cape cod brings out the wood ticks..and they get on pets ..gross little bugs. yuck. well, i have talked myself out for now. love, ssk
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rossella, sorry you have had to work so much and can't be with us everyday. The comment the daughter made was put in the nurses notes in the NH in case APS has to be called. They also have documentation of her attitude toward her mother.
All I can do is protect her to the best of my ability. I will do the best I can.
I am sorry to hear how sad you are about your mom. Isn't life strange? We had this daughter here who could care less, and then you and many others on here that can not bare the sight of their parent suffering.
I consider it an honor and a privlledge to be with Ruth. And I do love her. bad behaviour and all.
don't work too hard, and we hope to hear from you more often
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Good Morning All my AC ANGELS, it has been a while since I have been here, I missed everyone. Things are slightly improved. I managed to get through st pats day OK... ( was one of dads fav holidays). Taking care of mom has been a job and a half for sure. Her grief is so overwhelming at times, i feel bad, because i have lost my mind with her a couple of times, but sometimes i just have to. we always make a mends with hug though. Although I know dad went to abetter place with no pain and suffering, I actually miss wiping his a## lol lol lol. Never thought i would say that.. But he is with me everyday for sure i know, i feel his presence. Trying to keep the mad depression away, not always easy. I am going to try to catch up on the posts and I will be back. I just wanted to say Hey to all the angels on here and FB that have given the strength to get through this time.... So love to all!!!!
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Hi Angie, glad you checked in, it's good to "hear" you. love, ssk
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Good Morning Crew of Angels!

Angie!!! glad you are here! Sweetheart! The grief does find a way in at the most unexpected times and all we can do is treat it like a wave in the ocean. Ride it out and then calm water comes back. so tough and we love you.
ssk! enjoy the day and I know the feeling of being used AND being used up!. It will pass and you will get your life back. Your only job apart from the caregiving, life in general and etc, arg, is to keep yourself alive and as healthy as you can.

Man, I wish I could get a job with med maryjane. Be nice to have a job where everyone is mellow and my arthritis has something other than nsaids (which terrify me because of the heart issues) to kick it back into submission.

Ladeeda! you are such a jewel and I hope that you and ruth can be happy without all of the BG (babygirl) drama that she, in her terror of being found out, dishes up.
I know that there are so many opinions on what should happen with you and Ruth at the discharge meeting, etc.
At this point you know your mind and what you want to accomplish and I can't add anything that hasn't been said already and better than I can, so good luck and by now you know that we're here, we're nuts and we'll collectively rain some shock and awe on anyone who screws with you.
You're a good'un Ladeeda!

Rossella! so happy that your brother and family and you and your mom had some quality time together. Glad that your brother 'gets it' and treats you like he understands. so important. It is so sad to see what happens to our moms and dads. it is heart wrenching and life changing.

AllShesGot!! you win the St Paddy's Day jokeoff! Hilarious! AND it was about a boat too! WooHoo, can't get better than that. I liked the devil one too, but the boat..... well you know me.

Maxine! love you gurl and ya, Nik and the Cat are quite the item. He is amazed by her and she gives him the same love she gives me. the first few days he was afraid that she would nail him (literally) and when she would meow he would yank his hand away and get a oh boy face on. He has learned that she doesn't scratch or bite and when she plays with you she does so with her hooks in as opposed to hooks out.
Nik was the one who said when i first got the Cat:
Is she cool or like a bag of knives? She's cool.
We are a happy ship.

Lori! glad for your happy memories of your daddy and the boat. Great stuff. glad you're here Lori!

Where is SelfishSiblings recently? SS, check in! Been thinking about you and hope you're doing ok. We know you have it tough and I hope that you know you're on our angel list and even though that list gets longer day by day we don't want to lose track of you. Please let us know how you are!

Linda! your advice to get hospice in to help with your Pa might be something to check out. I know how hard it is to move them around and what it does to your back. Maybe you'll luck out and get a good one that you can meow with for a few minutes after Pa is tucked in..... love you Linda, you are a good and funny woman. A MagicCombo if there ever was one!
BOAT TIME!

Careshare! keep venting so you don't get too close to the edge! Write it out! It works! This thread has kept me out of the psych ward for sure. I get you about the dog. I had to come along on healing myself before I could take on the responsibility of the Cat. You'll do this!

Chillout! good to see from you and yes, it feels good to have Nik here. He's a great support and it is so good to see him again after 10 months apart. I really thought that we would never be together again and I am happy that he came 'home' to the boat.
He LOVES the boat. He LOVES the Cat.
Yesterday we took the boat to pump out the holding tank and Nik shadowed the coast guard guy that works here at the yard and learned a lot about line handling while I was at the helm with the yard manager who can drive the box this boat came in.
I learned a lot about close quarter handling and with the bow thruster, what a difference in the boat's response!
I took the boat out and brought her back without any incident and in the midst of millions of $$ of yachts and there was no full contact yachting!! a very big deal.
When we were docking I looked aft and saw Nik handling the stern like he has been doing this for years. Later I told him how smoothly he worked and what a relief to know that he is so comfortable doing this and in his best Greek accent said:
It's in my blood. arrarrarrharhar. funny how the Greeks and Romanians are so close and when he said: It's in my blood, he sounded like Dracula.
We are on the way to being a good Captain and First Mate. Usually the fat guy drives the boat while the younger spry guy jumps around handling the lines.
We will hold to that tradition on this boat. Safer that way. He'll learn how to drive her, for sure but I have to get him qualified for insurance purposes.... Safer that way too.
Chill, I am so happy that the meds are working and you both are getting the sleep you need in order to cope with this stuff!

Jam! sorry I wasn't online to poke the 'taking care of a child' person. i did read it and I understand what she was 'trying' to say and I thought everybody did a great job so I kept my mouth shut....
Taking care of a child... It would be cool if you could say:
Go to your room!
Clean up your mess!
Don't talk back!
Yackity yak!
Now we all know that the above will not work so..... How about taking care of a pissed off granny with a Depends full of...
which brings me to:
William Roberts, the new guy!
Well, WR, I lost my mind laughing when I read your post. Good thinking with the plastic bag over the hand trick! I don't think I would have been that quick on the draw.
Please keep venting here with us because it is always nice to have another caregiver join in and understand that we are all in it together! Welcome!

Rip the Stitch! ya, DeathWatch. Been there and done that and gurl you know I know what you mean. Wear you down to a throbbing knob. you and Ted have to do the boat lettering thang....
Ted! yup, the emotional rollercoaster of coping with something that no one should have to cope with. At least now we know that we are not crazy when we think that this is way too much to handle alone. I wish that the 'official' opinion of that had been around when I was doing it. Mom's 'friends' and others thought that I was 'priviledged' to be able to take this amount of abuse.
Oh Bite Me Please. Ted! work on getting another respite!!
Maybe we can time it out so when Nik and I return from up north you can come and do some boat with us!!!

Sundancer! keep venting!!

more later guys coming on the boat....
lovbob
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Good Morning Bobbie and crew.

Bob, I think your right (again), Another respite is in order.
It's so good to hear about your life now, You are (again) a true inspiration.
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good morning folks .
warm outside but gloomey . i take the warm :-)

ssk- i couldnt afford to have a ramp built i looked on line and found a suitcase ramp !!! less than 200 , dependin onthe size , i love it !! prop it up the steps and down dad goes or up he goes . then fold the ramp up and stash it in thegarage or i take it with me in case i needed it for some where eles . i highly recomended it ! than havin a ramp built it looks tacky and later in the years its wood rot , screw it . the suitcase ramp its alumin and lasts forever ! take it with ya , not heavy either . look it up , just type in suticase ramp and u will see all kinds . i cant remmy which company i got it from , had it for about 2 yrs now , well worth it i say ! fold it and theres handle on the middle and grab it carry it like its a suit case !! its a blessing ....
ok its friday and what to do what to do ? oh yes cleanmy bdrm , been wanting to do that for years lol . have a good day you all ..

miz - whats going on ? thinkin of you , smuah xoxo
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Miz, any news?
Ted, happy to hear you are going to take a break, you deserve it.
Bobbie glad to hear you are so happy again.and thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll just hobble along and see what happens.
Angie don't know you, but am looking forward to future posts
to everyone else hugs if you need them. a shoulder if you need that, laughter if that is in order, have a good one.
The bluebonnets are blooming it is officially spring in Texas.. love ya'll
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Well it has been a busy week with mom for sure. So today I am taking a ME day. I plan on staying in my Jammies, watching tv maybe some knitting and hopefully get caught up on here. Dad's affairs are finalized, took mom to a lawyer to update the poa, will and health care proxy.... don painted her living room, the den is next and the kitchen. it has been years... took her to lunch yesterday with my daughter, a nice time for all. she is putting around upstairs can hear her footsteps and i am being selfish and just taking a breather, much needed for sure. Although it is so nice outside here today, i should be out doing some yard work, hmm let me think about that... NOT LOL..... so i wish everyone a happy day.... hugs to all..
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angi ! glad ure takin a me day , its great isnt it ? i was bad yesterday wouldnt get offthe compture lol . hope im not doing that again today .
i think i ll go take me a cat nap , meowww .
bobbie- sounds like nik isnt going to leave u and kitty and the boat . wooo hooo . now i dont worry about u much bobbie cuz ure not alonesome anymore . kitty s smart , knowin she better be good to nik cuz im sure u d chose over nik than a cat .
m y sis in law bought a house in town and not much yard , they have 2 dogs , she dont care for animals , she said my bro would chose his dogs over her . lol sounds like me . my hubby refuse to let me have a cat in the house , i finaly put my foot down and said uhh i thought this is my house too , he said well it is , i said ok here kittty kitty :-) now im payin the price of dealin with louie s hair every where !!! but he s worth it . xoxo
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Boat Time for Angie!
You relax girl! Reading your comment made me soften before the task of getting Sir up & dressed. Just sitting here finishing my coffee thinking of you finally taking some time for Angie & not jumping to those sounds upstairs.

Enjoy this Friday!
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Next week will be three months since dad left us.. I miss him greatly, however I am coming to this place of making peace with it, i guess you would call it. Although I am not a religious person at all, last week i went to a catholic mass, much to my surprise it did not cave in around me lol lol. I went for the sanctity of the building itself. It is abeautiful old church, and it brought memories of dad taking us to church every sunday and he would fall asleep in the pew and would have to nudge him because we could hear his snoring... lol lol..... Getting a job at this point in time, is not a feasible idea, however the church does a lot of community outreach to the needy and the house bound elderly, have been thinking about it. dont know yet.... a thought though.......when i left work to care for dad, i thought when this time came i would be able to return to work, but with mom she has failed greatly..... So next chapter for me now is taking care of mom. one good thing is, this time i know what i am in for, and learned a few lessons along the way.... Life is funny..... A rollercoaster of emotions and situations lol lol lol.... I suppose it could be much worse for sure.....Dad is looking down saying " now there's my girl"........dont mind me, on this wonderful boat day for me, i am sure i will be babbling on here and catching up with all my angels............
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Angie, my heart and prayers are with you. Hugs to you across the miles.
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Mom just popped in I believe she is venturing to Walgreens, it is right down the street, its the only place she drives to.... lol lol Thank god for that ...... I have missed all my friends here.... I seemed to have lost most of my friends while dad was ill. But that is ok, because I have a whole family here. oh yeah, have to remind mom to get me my cigs lol lol... a bad habit i know, but one of the only things that i have left for my sanity lol lol lol...
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Morning All, I overslept this morning and when I woke up Mother was shaking the rails and screaming, "Oh, so this is the way it is!"
I felt so bad, but could hardly move. I think the night's have caught up with me. I am not having anyone stay over anymore, just late a couple of nights so hubby and I can go out once a week and take care of bills and things the other night. I cannot sleep during the day, life happens, and I'm not missing it.
Bobbie, Thank you for all the info yesterday about UTI. Sorry I didn't acknowledge it after I read it:( I did talk to new experienced CG about cranberry pills and she had not heard of them!!! Well, I have, so maybe my lack of experience is a good thing?
We got a call from our friend who is an engineer and writer of spiritual books. He says we are supposed to have an earthquake this weekend in California, or at least somewhere on the east part of Pacific rim, which includes WA, OR, CA, MX, Canada and Alaska. Something with the Super full moon and the ocean tides still being effected by Japan scenario.
We will be as vigil as we can, but it's bigger than all of us, and somehow, I cannot see doing anything different because of it. UNless I pack my immediate needs; wine, cashews, walking shoes and water--and go to the boat. To the BOAT...
Seriously, Life is full of managing tools, major "clean-ups", and a lot of them are out of our control. I think this is one of them.
Gotta go now. Back tonight if I'm not too tired. Have fun today, you girls and King. Love ya. Mean it. Ciao. Hugs, christina
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Hubby called me at work about 10:30 and his sister had called him and said she does not think MIL will make it through the night so we are heading up there. I am so glad he made that decision. It will be hard but it's something we need to do. My work is so understanding. They know that family comes first. I packed really fast but we never really totally unpacked from the last trip or the one before that, etc. So, death watch is right. Can't believe it really. Don't want to...

love,
miz
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We all standing beside ;you Miz, hugs to your hubby and his family
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Thinking of you Miz..... my gosh.... and we are all here for you.... hugs and love to you and the family....
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Hi everyone, bobbie I googled irish st.patricks day boat jokes just for the occasion:) aunt had a fall today 5 min after I left her room from letting the cat out. Said she had to get the toy mouse out of the kennel cause it would be 2 or 3 hrs. Before I came back to let ot out again. The cat was out when I went in there. I think she let's it out when im not there but tells me she can't. Oh well. Poor cat. Be glad when it gets bigger and calms down so we can let it out permanatly.
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Miz, I'm so glad you are able to go. I'm sending positive thoughts to you, your husband and your MIL. I hope it is peaceful for all.
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Miz! Be safe and sound beautiful Miz. Love to you and to your husband and to your family.
remember to breathe.

love all you guys and am glad you're all here.
lovbob
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Miz, im so sorry. May god be with your family at this time.
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We are here and she is still with us. Dinner's been ordered and hubby and I are going to watch the Illinois game. There was a lot of family here when we first got here but now it's just the immediate family. Not even sure where we are going to sleep tonight. We're tired but I am glad to be here. Just feels right. Thanks so much for all your prayers and keeping us in your thoughts. Angels, Angels, Angels.

love,
miz
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Thinking about you and hubby all day Miz... My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending peace to you all wrapped in a huge hugggg.......
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thinkin of you miz . glad u feel that it feels so right to be there , prayers all around you guys . xoxox
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Lots of prayers and hugs coming your way miz..........

Love ya,
Jam
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Thinking of you miz....

Thank you to all who answered on joan's post hope she is getting some help.

Another day another vet bill $286.00 I don't have..I don't care he owes us!!!!
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Uggggh. Just got home from SNF and visit with mom that was disasterous. From the minute I walked in she was mean and did not understand why she had to have physical therapy and wanted to go home and just on and on. I went to see her case worker who was very nice and talked with us and mom seemed Ok and the minute the case worker walked out she was back on me. How do I distance myself from this so I don't end up crying every dam* time I go there or visit her? I don't want to not visit her but she is so mean sometimes!
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Miz, I am very sorry, but there is a positive side: it's going fast... She won't suffer for months and months of terrible pain.
That would be even worse.
And I am glad you made it and she will have all her family around...
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Kim that is so hard I know. I have seen it many,many times in the nursing home/hospitals. The staff sees. Does she have dementia? Or is she just there for therapy? How long has she been there? I hope it gets easier sometimes it does, sometimes it dosnt.
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