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I absolutely despise it when "professionals" put everyone in a box like they are the same. Treat them this way and every freakin' thing will be roses. NOT!! OMFG!! I had a shrink like that. Told me I was the most difficult person he had ever worked with, and...I was proud of that!! :D All of that boxing in and they are livin' large. Kiss my lily white patootie!!!! Tell your loved one they are going for a visit and just leave them there?? How cruel is that!!?? Larry, why are you not defending yourself??!! I hate it when people make one post and then vanish. Absolutely hate it.

K, time for a smoke. I'm sure he has something to say about smokers too. Just tell yourself they are poison and calmly put them down and throw them in the waste basket. It's so f&ucking easy!!

I better stop before I get thrown offa here.
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Jam -so sorry COL is getting more difficult Linda could you cut down on b-days maybe no presents-you have so much on your plate and are such a kind person-may God give you each extra blessing tonight every one-I guess you took care of Larry for good-if he had a heart he would say I am sorry he needs the Wizzard of OZ for a brain and a heart.
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Linda, I am so excited for you that you get to see Bob Sieger!! I wanna go too!!
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Hey Larry! It Works!

I told mom we were just going shopping and then I left her at walmart!

Thanks!
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Actually someone left an elder parent outside of an ER with his name pinned to his shirt a few years ago. I do not think Larry will give us any more advice-I love it -wished I had learned to kick ass when I was a caregiver-the worse I did was report things to the health dept. and Medicare after a doc tookcare of my husband 6 hrs after he was in the funeral home and the next day.Maxine here. Did you know some assisted living places check the elders once a day-that is the truth.
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Ted, You are a HOOT!! Just had to tell my hubby the whole sstory. He got a kick out you. Honey, you have crawled out of that deep hole. Love ya...
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Pirate, I'm sick of hospice too. There are" too many chiefs and not enough indians"
I'm gald I came on here to have a laugh. You guys are funny today.
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Yes, you guys are really hysterical. But I am delirious from no sleep. Ted, you rock. Ss--so good to have you 'home'. Miz, you a cutie patutie! heehee Where is my LindaHeart today? Thinking about Deefer, Dtflex, Angie, Maxine, Jam, Rosella, Jen, rip, Pirate--Big Hugs and whoo hoo! Careshare, Seeme, ASG, SSK: DITTO!!! Captain:)xo La Ladeeda Chaquita, Banana Nana! xo:)
Tomorrow night I get to sleep. I'm going to take a lunesta sample doctor gave me and go to z-land. But that's tomorrow. Hubby wants to go out for a little while tonight. See you all tomorrow. Love you bunches, christina
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Christina, I am very very interested in that Amish thing that heats and does not cost too much. Can you send me the link? I'll see if I can buy it online
I feel very often the same things that you feel for your mother. She has neglected me a lot when I was little, and now i can't neglect her. I love her but I honestly think I am giving her more than she has given me. But we go on anyway! (for a reason).
Pirate! The first year I lived here with my mother I had a help who lived here and slept here. I don't want it anymore. She used gallons of soap, she ate like a wolf and she wanted the best things, best brands... As you all know I don't swim in gold coins like Uncle Scrooge. So I understood I can't afford a help who sleeps here. They seem to enjoy themselves when they waste your money, because it's not their money.
I prefer to deal with my mother alone at nights, even if this involves cleaning her poop 3 nights in a row! I found another surprise tonight!
Was it Semeride who said that her mother is just starting not to clean herself and she has to learn to accept to be helped? It's a very sad stage, when they understand they are not independent anymore, but it ends very soon. My mother now accepts to be cleaned, even if she makes a lot of fuss and the water is always too hot or cold!
I appreciate very much the way Ladeeda treats the newcomers... Sometimes I think we should be more patient. They don't know what it is about and they can be clumsy.
What was the last thing? Ah yeah Careshare I live 50 miles from Rome, in the country.
Night everybody!
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Oh, yes, Ted, when you leave your mother in Walmart, Linda Harde will certainly find her, as she LOVES Walmart!
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Ted, that was freakin' hilarious!!!! Even hubby laughed out loud. And Rossella,too!!!! Yep, Linda loves Wal-Mart. ;)
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The last time i did bring mom to walmart, i thought i would let her use one of the electric chair-carts, but after she pinned some 9 year old against the shelves i wound up having to run the controls myself while she sat in it.
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Oh Ted, so true, my mom loves Target, but as you said, I cringe the entire time we are going up and down the aisles and she is scary with that scooter.

Tomorrow mom comes home and I'll be spending the weekend and nights with her if I must. When I came into the Nursing Facility after work she said, "I am so glad you are here! There was a shooting and someone was pushed off the roof. We have to talk to the police, etc. etc." Now I did not see anything that would lead me to believe anything had happened, all was normal, quiet, and fine. Sigh. Hope she gets a little clearer when she gets home.

Take care everyone!
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Sorry this one is so long but I think it is pretty neat.
Love Cuz

So, so so SIMPLE!


It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49 not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52.. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY





1. Show up naked
2. Bring alcohol
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I apologize if I offended anyone with my outburst. Bad times, bad day, PMS, etc. etc. etc.

love,
miz
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Hey Miz I don't think u offended anyone. That's my opinion and I'm stickin with it.
Lov Cuz
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I think we should introduce Larry to Amber Jane. They're both f'n clueless!!!!!
I "giggle" so much that I've been sick all week. One of these days I'm going to start giggling and never stop. Maybe it will be in Target or Publix while mom runs into everything with the electric cart!!!!
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Hey there, all of you awesome "peeps"...KT (kat, meooow, kat in the corner...blah. blah. blah!!!)...thank you for ALL of your kind words and encouragement...I WILL get back with ya...just checkin' in and I am fixin' to "check out"--i.e., hit the hay...Done for the day...over and out...but SO glad you guys are here...I'm gettin' it...and I'll get back with yas...Alllllll of you...rest well...I'll be talkin to ya soon...matter of fact, after reading all of your messages...I might just "bust on out with it" here real soon...My husband is "stoked" about my being here...I think because it will take the "heat" off of him. Reminds me of ONE of my favorite sayings: "Happiness shared is JOY multiplied...sorrow shared is GRIEF divided..." Wowza....THAT is what this is all about...'til we meet again...thanks for "takin' me in"...Da Kat :-) Meoooow!
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Mom has taken to joining the dogs in eating their biscuits!
Then she comments, "These cookies taste kind of weird, but they are good too!" (The dogs have been very patient with her, and we read the ingredients and thought this is not the worst thing that could happen and had a good laugh!!!
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Good morning everyone my cat woke me up again this morning so he could eat and sleep for 10 more hours, I have another date planned for today-not nervous this time after the date from hell a few weeks ago this has to be better. Hope everyone has a good and calm day,
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good morning, I'm glad to hear you are going on dates, I plan to try an online dating site one of these days. What happened on the "date from hell"?
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Austin, I hope your date goes really well.

love,
miz
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Thank You, Ted.
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Good Morning Caregivers,

Miz! You didn't say anything wrong. That guy represents what is endemic about 'pro' caregiving BUSINESSES. They still don't get that the demented have feelings, emotions, and mostly FEAR! How awful to play to that fear by doing such a terrible thing as to troll for business on this site with that barbaric advice.
If the advice comes from ignorance it can be fixed. If it comes from stupidity, well you know that Ron White line:
you can't fix stupid.

As far as 'pro' caregivers on this thread, Ladeeda may be a caregiver by career choice, but in reality she is the daughter that Ruth wished she had. Big difference. Ladeeda could teach the classes that these 'pro' knuckleheads should be required by law to attend.
I am still appalled at Larry's 'drop her off' scenerio. All in the name of making a buck. I am saddened to think of how often that is going on and some elderly, scared person is 'dropped off' at some facility.

Loved the WalMart post Ted!! you are hilarious. And right on.

Rossella, we all tried to be nice to him but when I read that post out of his own mouth on his wall (in the middle of writing my response) I was so shocked that someone would think that this was ok, I flashed and did what I do. I know that it was in response to a lady who was over caregiving, but jeeze, this is NOT how to handle something like this. that lady and this guy should have been given a time out.

Seemer, at least Larry got both sides of us! Ladeeda being the sweetheart and me ... um.... oh yeah:
Disemboweling. Actually, Miz was more to the point than me and good for her!
And, I wasn't mean, his own words were mean!! lol
glad you're here seemer.

Yes Pirate, you are at that stage and you are doing very very well. Just keep on doing what your instincts tell you and when it is done you will experience a lightness in your heart that will carry you through the healing. You're almost there sweet Pirate and your mom, no matter what has happened in the past is your sweet mom so you are on the money and doing it right.
All the times she drove you nuts are fading into the background as you both get ready for the transistion. Go with that. You are very brave and strong. Breathe.

more later,
time for coffee.
lovbob
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So where is everyone. Wal-Mart?? ;)
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Morning all you wonderful people......
Mom and the up every 2hrs. to pee seems to be resolved for now!! Whoo Hooo! She is in a much better place now that she gets quality sleep. Though of late there are new things creeping in......she tells me about "that man" said this or that. Can't figure out who 'that man" is....... She had 3wks. of PT that ended 2wks ago......did fine for a short time. Some days I can see that she is "forgetting" how to walk. She tries to move her feet and legs but the brain and body are just not connecting.
I know this is just one more chapter in the book of DEMENTIA.
Hugs and blessings to all and wishing you a stress free as possible day!
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Where is eveyone Ted droped a bunch od caregivers off at Walmart and left the elders home. My date from hell- first of all heposted an old picture of himself when he had black haie instead of a small amount of hair that was gray, he talked a blue streak-never asked me anything about me-I think he is lonly-lives in a large apartment building and the other tenents probably avoid him all he talked about was problems with ileagals that come to his town by train-but people do hire them because they are cheap amd then he ate his lunch and indicated he wanted some of mine and actually ate about 3/4 of it-when I got home I blocked him from my site. Any who goes on an on line dating site do not use eharmony.com they use to be good but now are only interested in the money and I had to tell them I was going to report them as a scam to our state officials and they did refund me some of the money I paid up front. I now am Match.com and it is much better. We are starting to get a little warmer weather.
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Kt, I've never heard that saying. That is great. Thanks!
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Morning Girls and King,
Yes, Miz, I'm still reeling from your little outburst--you are such a sweetie!! KT, hope you're off work today and we will see you here:) Ted, I love it when we are tired but still witty and it energizes you. Hope you all are able to sleep at night. We gave Mother a little more seroquel last night--per the Doctor--25 mg extra was enough to let her sleep until 6:30 this morning, and I was able to sleep, too.
"No good deed goes unpunished", cannot be the cry of caregivers. It is unthinkable that this compassionate and difficult act of altruism is ruining our own lives, lifestyle and health. This is the reason the realities of caregiving MUST become widely known.
Yesterday Ladeeda mentioned "if she had money", she would travel around the country relieving caregivers--I think I read that. I have thought the same, but I cannot leave my husband to travel around the country. I can imagine just the right benefactor providing this service. Those of you who pray, please join me in lifting this request on high. I have hope.
Mother is stirring, etc--she has been in there for days, she's dying, whining and crying. I am such a bad daughter. I will leave you now for the Queen's breakfast. I would love to cook breakfast for all of you someday--on the BOAT:) hugs, christina
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You are quite welcome! Happy Saturday everybody!!! "Austin" I hate to hear that about your "blind date"--there are some "scary" people out there. I know several people who met their match on Match.com and are now happily married and doing great!!! The "right one" will come along.

I am stoked, as today our Angel of a caretaker--who, this past week has been first out of town and then sick, is here, Randy will be going to work, and some friends are picking me up in the "little short bus" (LOL) and we're going to another friend's house to "play"...cards, probably, and just eat, drink, be merry and chill! Whoo hoo!!! KT needs a break and I am gettin' one today!! My heart is with all of you.

"Chillout"...Mama Flo fell back in October (we were up in the mountains--TN--and she was here with Felicia)...she broke her right leg/foot...it's been a long haul...everything out of her room, hospital bed in, potty chair--we were up with her four and 5 times in the night lifting her onto the potty--took her about 16 weeks to heal--PT here at the house--Things are back to "normal" (somewhat), but I think all of that at this point (93 and dementia)...it just sent her on a downward spiral...but we are continuing to try to "hang on" to her. As you all know...each day is a challenge...and you never know what's next. Yesterday, she made up a song...I heard her just laughin' away...she sang it to me when I came in (we are always singing something!!!) and it had a slightly sexual overtone and she thought it was the funniest thing--she would NEVER have done that before...so modest and demure...her favorite word has become s**t...never cussed before...God help us all hang onto our sense of humor!!! Bless all of you!!! Hugs to everyone!!! Kat (comin' out of her corner...a little!) Meow! :-)
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