Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
UTIs come when the 'area' is not kept clean and shiny. My mom used to get UTIs all the time until I realized that she couldn't do the 'front to back' any more.
After a little wrestling, I convinced mom to let me wash her stem to stern and she never got another UTI. I helped in the bathroom area also because in the long run it's easier to just put them on the pot and clean up afterwards.
When she went in for respite care (for me) she got an UTI right away so I took her home agan and cured her up.
The little connections in the brain that hook up how to wipe yourself or how ot tie your shoelaces just stop firing and there you go. Suddenly for them they are in unknown territory and freaking out.
In my mom's case it was so evident that she was trying so hard to get it right but it just would get away from her. That's the real sad part. Mom and I used humor as much as we could to help cope with it all but boy oh boy.
Drive you nuts? Oh you bet'cha.
I miss my mom so much, but I actually miss my mom of long ago when we would have adventures together.
My poor mom who was layin up in her bed, having to get turned and turned and her skin was so sensitive and she was suffering. She was so brave because she kinew what was up but didn't have the ability to speak. She stared into my eyes for so long and then she was gone.
I think the reason we feel so bad when we come back after being away is because we were/are walking back into the life of an old dying person, which make US feel like old dying people. Our love for them is so deep, many times deeper than we would like to admit and that's the cue for the guilt.
Well, screw guilt.
Just realize that our little times away are the main reason we are not institutionalized!
Bobbie, you are absolutely right. It's just darned depressing. But, if I didn't get out sometimes I would be needing taken care of too. I'm sure that's the case for all of us. I pity those that never get away. How do they do it?
teristeve, every weekend away would be heaven. However, you have to have the right people give you that respite. A friend of mine took care of her dying mother for 6 months. She quit her job and stayed with her and took care of her Monday - Friday. Then, the family took turns on the weekends. She said she always came back to a mess!!
bobbie, my heart's with you. Hang in there, girl.
All the rest of you, hang in there too and thanks for listening to me. You're the best!!
Bobbie, What a sweet selfless blessing you are. A help to others in your time of need. God sees you and your beautiful heart. His love flowing thru you to others. All His grace, favor, comfort and blessings to you.
Thank you for all your loving and supporting comments. I am fairly new at this (just for the past 2 years) but there are times I can handle it and times I want to hang it up! When I am able to be with my grandkids, I can then return to the "folks" a better person!! Thanks again!
Bobbie, we are always with her in the bathroom, and wash her stem to stern many times a day. Parkinson's has robbed her of the ability to know when her bladder is full. Even when she feels she has to go, she doesn't finish emptying her bladder. I have been told that this will also cause reoccurring UTIs. It's such a hassle to get the doctor to give her the antibiotic without test results, and those take days. By then she is such a mess and so hard to handle! Now he will usually give me a refill on it and I start her before the results come back. If it's negative, I just stop the antibiotic, but it's always positive! You are sounding a little bit better. Take care of yourself!
Have a beautifull day as hard as it may seem..Just think if we were all blind deaf and mute we wouldnt have this beautifull site to vent and share upon.and i think we all have a gross subject to share .we just have to look at what we may be like for our future people who will get all of our gross moments in the furure sad to say..I just found this site its wonderfull to have a place to share..It is always harder on the family and caretakers to care then the person that usually doesnt know much more than pain and sometimes its just nice to change the subject as gross as it gets.just when you think your at the grossest believe us something grosser comes along..
God bless you all, caregivers! Bobbie, one moment at a time, calling on God's grace. Miz, you, too. What's worse Bobbie? Frustration or grief? We all have our struggles, and so do those we're caring for. They need compassion, and that's what you provide. But so do you! This is no small task, and not for the faint of heart.
I took mom to the doctor and he has refered her back to the orthopaedic doctor. She really needs to have another cortisone injection in her hip but she has been fighting it because she says it makes her feel bad. The severe pain isn't fun either. Tough decisions for her.
Since I was off from work I took her to lunch at the marina so she could look out over the lake. She seemed to enjoy this and ate well. While we were out I got a call from the new agency that is supposed to start taking care of mom while I work. They will be here this afternoon to do an assessment and make sure they match her with the best caregiver for her needs,
Bobbie, I couldn't help but think of you while I was looking at all the boats. The Barbara Bee will be a lot of comfort to you. Take it one day at a time.
So, someone suggested AZO Cranberry for Mom's urinary tract health. I called the doctor's office and he said that's fine. She seems to be feeling better lately.
I got good and grossed out today. Made the mistake of looking at what Mom blew out of her nose today. I think that was worse than the poop or anything else. I about gagged. I'm feeling sick just thinking about it. Oh, what we go through. If I've offended anyone, don't re-read what I wrote. ;)
Wow, crystal. Nine years? No reason for any guilt for you. And as for the anger, that is SO normal. I too worry about my future even though I have my hubby. It costs so dang much to live these days and our financial situation is dire. I pray for your health also. I have health insurance but it breaks the bank every month. Hang in there, sweetie. So glad you're here. :)
miz . yes i give my pa his cranberry pills , it seems to help . aww ur momma blew her nnose and u got gross out yuck . its always something every day to get gross out , i pulled pa s teeth out ewww all kinds food is in there now talk about gross , i ask pa if he was saving those later in case he got hungry he said yes , haha . bless his heart . bobbie i know ure busy and ur hubby is prob there with you by now . soon the funeral is comin up and i will be right there in ur mind along with the service . my shoulders is slumpin down some , feeling your pain . i remmy 20 yrs ago which feels like just the other day when we buried mom . just kills me to have to walk away and leave her behind . tellin myself it is just the body but her spirits is up in heaven along with her love ones and her lord . god bless you and give u strength on the worst day and then on out . xoxo
lhardebeck, yep the food in the teeth would be gross. It's good you have a sense of humor about it. We have to or we would go crazy. I try to tell hubby things but he doesn't want to hear about the gross stuff and I can't blame him for that. :)
Miz, Boy do I hear you! I can't tell my husband the gross stuff either. I agree about the teeth. I gag when Mom takes them out of her mouth. I'd rather clean poop than her teeth! Hard to believe that you get so used to some of the grossness, that it doesn't even faze you anymore. But we do all have that one gross thing that we can't stand. Let's hope tomorrow is a gross free day!
My husband is a Marine no longer in service, but "once a Marine, always a Marine"). He is wonderful with the gross stuff & makes a joke of it. I'm not big on gross humor but he does make it sooo much easier & sometimes I have to laugh. Recently (not so gross) mom went to the NH for rehab from the hosp. I took her to save her $125 transport fee & was not too happy with her highness at the time. On arrival the attendant lifted her from the car to the wheelchair by grabbing the back of her pants at the waist & gave her a wedgy in the process. I HAD to laugh & told the young lady that I would have to remember that in the future as "she might put forth a little more effort if she thought she was going to get a wedgy". The girl promptly appologized and I told her "no, I think it's great". She didn't know mom was such a malingering gold brick that plays people. Of course mom didn't speak to me the rest of the day which in and of itself was a blessing. When I got home I told my hubby of the wedgy & he made a "wedgy face". I know it sounds cold but that has been the joke at our house this week & it makes me laugh. We have been subjected to sooooo much from this reprobate of a person that when I see a little Divine Justice I feel somewhat vindicated. Sometimes I need that and He knows it.
gpdhelpus, I love your wedgie story. Wow, we have a reprobate to deal with too. Only thing is, she thinks she's a saint. Ahhhhh, NOT! And the other family members add to the mix in very unpleasant ways. Thank God we've been able to avoid them for awhile. I know that sounds bad, but the alternative is most disagreeable. We like peace, truth, love, joy, and friends. They seem to like anger, bitterness, blame, strife, and hatred. I'd say avoidance is the smartest thing we have thought of yet. Love those boundaries.
I'm thinking a lot of Bobbie, too. Haven't seen you post for a while, have we? Still praying for you. Wish I were driving to join you, but we can't. I'm with you in spirit, and my heart is breaking for you. Please know you're not alone, and we care. Hope you are doing well, even though this is such a trying period. Miss you, friend!
As you can see Bobbie, gross out has not stopped; we all have something gross to deal with, and we'll all have to deal with grief, too. Some more than others, and each in their own way. Such as is common to man.
Dear godhelpus, just had to let you know that I read your post that I almost fell out of my chair laughing. You certainly do have to get your giggles whenever the opportunity presents itself especialy when you're a caregiver. I'll never forget when my mother had gotten well enough to go to the med/surg floor from icu (she really should have been dead) she was encouraged to TCDB (turn,cough,deep breathe) to prevent pneumonia. Well, she was coughing up all kinds of crud and to make it worse used the suction (as she should) to dispose of the secretions. Well it made a really gross noise, my brother looks at me and says "mmmm chunkey" we all busted out laughing so hard (my family has a gross sense of humor) that we were hysterical. The nurses came running in to see what was going on, we tried to apologize (while trying to breathe), and once we told them they were laughing too. It was a blast, felt sooooooo good to laugh!
For those that have to deal with pand p you know what I mean if they still make sitz baths that would help with cleaning up a little gentle soap in the and they can soak awhile it would probably feel good to them also. I was a nurse and at times suctioning made me sick.
I'm afraid I must confess to at least giving my mom a mini-wedgie from time to time. I was told it's best not to hold them by the arm cause they could dislocate a shoulder. So...sometimes I grab her by the top of the back of the pants if she's going downstairs or something. She never seems to mind.
i have one too but i find it waste time to me . guess i should keep trying it . pa sure is leaning real bad on to his left side . legs barely stand up . i told pa oh my gosh i am carring you . told him if he s like that again tmr he is going to stay in bed . i hope he s not stroking out on me . he had a smile on his face and seems happy but cant funtion on to getting up and stand whil i just hang on to him , hope tmr be a better day . hate to see him going downhill more ;-( . makin me nerouse if he passes away soon . i dont wanna go thru it . its a sad sad times . i feel like he s doing what bobbie s mom did . sobbing ,,,,
I'm so sorry, lhardebeck. Hopefully he will be better tomorrow. I'll say a prayer. You're a strong woman. Is there anyone to help you through all of this?
pa and i are at home alone during the day . in the evening my daughter may be here and my husnad comes home from work , he goes to bed early everynight , so i do it all by myself , if my daughter is home she does helps me out . his hands are in a tight ball . i told him to strech out ur hands . says it hurts , i feel his under hands wow i can feel the tightness in veins . poor guy he says it hurts . i gave him a soft pillow and told him to sqeeze that pillow if he needed to . he ask for a darvocets and gave him one . black circle eyes , he looks bad but he was calm and talked to me like everythings a ok . miz thanks for the prayer , it means alot to me . xoxo
Linda I am so sad to hear that you are worried about your pa. Saying prayers for you and everybody here for all of the challenges we face. Your pa is a king and I bet he wants to hang out with his Princess (you) for some more good times!
SS and Miz and everybody thank you so much for thinking of me. some folks have called and I haven't even been able to answer the phone.
Today I have to take the rest of the photographs and some other stuff to the funeral home so they can do their thing.
Today is the day that I see mama for the first time and i am losing it here and don't know how I am going to handle this. Nik gets in tonight and hopefully he brought me a suit or it's demin time again. I thought about mom but forgot to pack a suit for me. who cares anyway.
I'm trying to get going on the house and yard and I just don't care. It was always for mom and to get a rise out of her when she saw something fixed up.
Sara just now left for good. she is a very sweet lady but the grief was too much for her so i told her to go to her daughter's and laugh with her Grandson. She left me her Turkish teapot as a gift which I thought was very very kind.
Trying to gear up for the Funeral Home. Not going to lie: this sux a bowling ball outta the closet.
We tried to include "BYOB" in the obit but the newspaper refused to do it. I also wanted to add "We Got Ice" but the funeral director gave that a thumbs down. Turns out that there's rules for this stuff. Who knew?
Mom wasn't much of a drinker but she loved a party. I hope it doesn't kill me to see her. She's got some sharp threads to work with so I hope she looks great.
good to hear from u bobbie321 ! ill drink a few for ya ! coffee or some good ole hard stuff ? :-) glad to hear ur hubby s comin in tnite . daughter and i got pa out of bed and took him to bathroom , he couldnt stand up to swing his hindend over to ttoilet so we took him back to bed . got him all cleaned up ., he said im hungry ! want sasuage and gravy . he loves those stuff . bless his heart . he still smiles he seems happy and knowing he is begin takin real good care of . i love my pa . just heard that one of the ladies on golden girls , just passed away rue mcclanahan . think thats the sexy one . massive heart attack . oh my ....
Bobbi321, Ths Irish have a WAKE in which there's a party to celebrate the life of the one who's gone on before us. Sorry the paper wouldn't print but you can have someone spread the word. I put together a photo album of my dad's life after he passed. It helped me with the grief & closure. God bless & comfort you. Ihardebeck, Glad your dad was hungry. That's a good sign. Sorry it hurts for him. He's so fortunate to have you. Such a blessing you are.
Hi Bobbie, so glad you touched base, as I was wondering about you. Oh, how hard this must be. Praying for you about seeing your mom. Wish I were visiting, and wanted to, but keep getting calls from the nursing home concerning my dad.
They have asked the doc to see him because they are concerned about the way he's responding, which has declined. Today is better than yesterday, though. They are feeding him his meals, showering him, dressing him, etc. Sad. I trimmed his fingernails while there, as no one else is, even when requested. And I don't mind it a bit. Physical therapy evaluated him today, per doc's orders, and will be trying some strength training exercises to see how he responds. His gait has slowed, and he has difficulty rising from his bed without help. He walks with assistance. Had a good day outside with him, where he wanted to sit in the sun awhile, then on the swing, then in the shade. He would have stayed out and napped, if I wanted to stay the day. He has good days, and not so good days. Today was OK, but I see continual decline.
It still floors me that my sister drove 12 hours for her annual visit, and left a note for me (while I was at church, ~sneaky, huh?), saying, "Dad was GREAT." I see him every day, and have to say my observations are much different than hers. Is she kidding herself? Easing her conscious? Playing games? Nursing staff tried approaching her during the visit to talk, and she resisted. What's up with that? They weren't real impressed. I'm not either. I do know the girl and her son have run off with thousands of dollars worth of silver and antiques from mom and dads home, and she's conspiring with mom against me. Lovely family, huh? God sees and knows all, so I rest in him. Still, my mind imagines all sorts of things, especially in light of the wickedness they've already enacted against me. After being falsely accused of "abuse," I wonder who's buying that story? Mom, her cronies, my sister, nephew, and...? And guess who's done all the work taking care of mom and dad for the past few years, all their finances, moving them, visiting, taking them to dr. appts., shopping, etc. Almost makes me sick. One day, though, I will really rest with a peaceful conscious.
Everyone in mom's circle has an "opinion" about what should happen to her house, and with the assets. I was told by an aunt that I "should sell, while mom can still enjoy it." Little do the nosey relatives know that she doesn't own the house, but the bank does, and the new guardian isn't paying back the loan. And dad owns 1/2, so the nursing home would get half, in a market of a town where nothing is selling... So mom will not be enjoying much. And if dad goes first, mom will receive their joint annuities, and she'll be kicked out of her subsidized housing. Believe me, Medicaid knows all these things, and I do, but family doesn't know what they think they do. And they are jerking mom's strings.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I am about to write my mom's obit. sux.
Deef! Flex! Miz! SS! Yo Mike! Everybody!
UTIs come when the 'area' is not kept clean and shiny. My mom used to get UTIs all the time until I realized that she couldn't do the 'front to back' any more.
After a little wrestling, I convinced mom to let me wash her stem to stern and she never got another UTI. I helped in the bathroom area also because in the long run it's easier to just put them on the pot and clean up afterwards.
When she went in for respite care (for me) she got an UTI right away so I took her home agan and cured her up.
The little connections in the brain that hook up how to wipe yourself or how ot tie your shoelaces just stop firing and there you go. Suddenly for them they are in unknown territory and freaking out.
In my mom's case it was so evident that she was trying so hard to get it right but it just would get away from her. That's the real sad part. Mom and I used humor as much as we could to help cope with it all but boy oh boy.
Drive you nuts? Oh you bet'cha.
I miss my mom so much, but I actually miss my mom of long ago when we would have adventures together.
My poor mom who was layin up in her bed, having to get turned and turned and her skin was so sensitive and she was suffering. She was so brave because she kinew what was up but didn't have the ability to speak. She stared into my eyes for so long and then she was gone.
Ow. omg this is so hard.
Thanks for listening.
lovbob
Well, screw guilt.
Just realize that our little times away are the main reason we are not institutionalized!
Just sayin
lovbob
teristeve, every weekend away would be heaven. However, you have to have the right people give you that respite. A friend of mine took care of her dying mother for 6 months. She quit her job and stayed with her and took care of her Monday - Friday. Then, the family took turns on the weekends. She said she always came back to a mess!!
bobbie, my heart's with you. Hang in there, girl.
All the rest of you, hang in there too and thanks for listening to me. You're the best!!
miz
You are sounding a little bit better. Take care of yourself!
I took mom to the doctor and he has refered her back to the orthopaedic doctor. She really needs to have another cortisone injection in her hip but she has been fighting it because she says it makes her feel bad. The severe pain isn't fun either. Tough decisions for her.
Since I was off from work I took her to lunch at the marina so she could look out over the lake. She seemed to enjoy this and ate well. While we were out I got a call from the new agency that is supposed to start taking care of mom while I work. They will be here this afternoon to do an assessment and make sure they match her with the best caregiver for her needs,
Bobbie, I couldn't help but think of you while I was looking at all the boats. The Barbara Bee will be a lot of comfort to you. Take it one day at a time.
Have a good day everyone!
I got good and grossed out today. Made the mistake of looking at what Mom blew out of her nose today. I think that was worse than the poop or anything else. I about gagged. I'm feeling sick just thinking about it. Oh, what we go through. If I've offended anyone, don't re-read what I wrote. ;)
love,
miz
P.S. Bobbie, thinking of you so much.
aww ur momma blew her nnose and u got gross out yuck . its always something every day to get gross out ,
i pulled pa s teeth out ewww all kinds food is in there now talk about gross , i ask pa if he was saving those later in case he got hungry he said yes , haha . bless his heart .
bobbie i know ure busy and ur hubby is prob there with you by now . soon the funeral is comin up and i will be right there in ur mind along with the service . my shoulders is slumpin down some , feeling your pain . i remmy 20 yrs ago which feels like just the other day when we buried mom . just kills me to have to walk away and leave her behind . tellin myself it is just the body but her spirits is up in heaven along with her love ones and her lord .
god bless you and give u strength on the worst day and then on out . xoxo
Let's hope tomorrow is a gross free day!
Recently (not so gross) mom went to the NH for rehab from the hosp. I took her to save her $125 transport fee & was not too happy with her highness at the time. On arrival the attendant lifted her from the car to the wheelchair by grabbing the back of her pants at the waist & gave her a wedgy in the process. I HAD to laugh & told the young lady that I would have to remember that in the future as "she might put forth a little more effort if she thought she was going to get a wedgy". The girl promptly appologized and I told her "no, I think it's great". She didn't know mom was such a malingering gold brick that plays people. Of course mom didn't speak to me the rest of the day which in and of itself was a blessing.
When I got home I told my hubby of the wedgy & he made a "wedgy face". I know it sounds cold but that has been the joke at our house this week & it makes me laugh. We have been subjected to sooooo much from this reprobate of a person that when I see a little Divine Justice I feel somewhat vindicated. Sometimes I need that and He knows it.
I'm thinking a lot of Bobbie, too. Haven't seen you post for a while, have we? Still praying for you. Wish I were driving to join you, but we can't. I'm with you in spirit, and my heart is breaking for you. Please know you're not alone, and we care. Hope you are doing well, even though this is such a trying period. Miss you, friend!
As you can see Bobbie, gross out has not stopped; we all have something gross to deal with, and we'll all have to deal with grief, too. Some more than others, and each in their own way. Such as is common to man.
i hope he s not stroking out on me . he had a smile on his face and seems happy but cant funtion on to getting up and stand whil i just hang on to him , hope tmr be a better day .
hate to see him going downhill more ;-( . makin me nerouse if he passes away soon . i dont wanna go thru it . its a sad sad times . i feel like he s doing what bobbie s mom did . sobbing ,,,,
love,
miz
his hands are in a tight ball . i told him to strech out ur hands . says it hurts , i feel his under hands wow i can feel the tightness in veins . poor guy he says it hurts . i gave him a soft pillow and told him to sqeeze that pillow if he needed to . he ask for a darvocets and gave him one . black circle eyes , he looks bad but he was calm and talked to me like everythings a ok .
miz thanks for the prayer , it means alot to me . xoxo
Anyone heard from bobbie321 lately? Praying for you, dear bobbie.
Linda I am so sad to hear that you are worried about your pa. Saying prayers for you and everybody here for all of the challenges we face. Your pa is a king and I bet he wants to hang out with his Princess (you) for some more good times!
SS and Miz and everybody thank you so much for thinking of me. some folks have called and I haven't even been able to answer the phone.
Today I have to take the rest of the photographs and some other stuff to the funeral home so they can do their thing.
Today is the day that I see mama for the first time and i am losing it here and don't know how I am going to handle this.
Nik gets in tonight and hopefully he brought me a suit or it's demin time again. I thought about mom but forgot to pack a suit for me. who cares anyway.
I'm trying to get going on the house and yard and I just don't care. It was always for mom and to get a rise out of her when she saw something fixed up.
Sara just now left for good. she is a very sweet lady but the grief was too much for her so i told her to go to her daughter's and laugh with her Grandson. She left me her Turkish teapot as a gift which I thought was very very kind.
Trying to gear up for the Funeral Home.
Not going to lie: this sux a bowling ball outta the closet.
We tried to include "BYOB" in the obit but the newspaper refused to do it.
I also wanted to add "We Got Ice" but the funeral director gave that a thumbs down. Turns out that there's rules for this stuff. Who knew?
Mom wasn't much of a drinker but she loved a party. I hope it doesn't kill me to see her. She's got some sharp threads to work with so I hope she looks great.
more later and thanks you guys,
lovbob
ill drink a few for ya ! coffee or some good ole hard stuff ? :-)
glad to hear ur hubby s comin in tnite .
daughter and i got pa out of bed and took him to bathroom , he couldnt stand up to swing his hindend over to ttoilet so we took him back to bed . got him all cleaned up ., he said im hungry ! want sasuage and gravy . he loves those stuff . bless his heart .
he still smiles he seems happy and knowing he is begin takin real good care of . i love my pa .
just heard that one of the ladies on golden girls , just passed away rue mcclanahan . think thats the sexy one . massive heart attack .
oh my ....
Ths Irish have a WAKE in which there's a party to celebrate the life of the one who's gone on before us. Sorry the paper wouldn't print but you can have someone spread the word.
I put together a photo album of my dad's life after he passed. It helped me with the grief & closure. God bless & comfort you.
Ihardebeck,
Glad your dad was hungry. That's a good sign. Sorry it hurts for him. He's so fortunate to have you. Such a blessing you are.
They have asked the doc to see him because they are concerned about the way he's responding, which has declined. Today is better than yesterday, though. They are feeding him his meals, showering him, dressing him, etc. Sad. I trimmed his fingernails while there, as no one else is, even when requested. And I don't mind it a bit. Physical therapy evaluated him today, per doc's orders, and will be trying some strength training exercises to see how he responds. His gait has slowed, and he has difficulty rising from his bed without help. He walks with assistance. Had a good day outside with him, where he wanted to sit in the sun awhile, then on the swing, then in the shade. He would have stayed out and napped, if I wanted to stay the day. He has good days, and not so good days. Today was OK, but I see continual decline.
It still floors me that my sister drove 12 hours for her annual visit, and left a note for me (while I was at church, ~sneaky, huh?), saying, "Dad was GREAT." I see him every day, and have to say my observations are much different than hers. Is she kidding herself? Easing her conscious? Playing games? Nursing staff tried approaching her during the visit to talk, and she resisted. What's up with that? They weren't real impressed. I'm not either. I do know the girl and her son have run off with thousands of dollars worth of silver and antiques from mom and dads home, and she's conspiring with mom against me. Lovely family, huh? God sees and knows all, so I rest in him. Still, my mind imagines all sorts of things, especially in light of the wickedness they've already enacted against me. After being falsely accused of "abuse," I wonder who's buying that story? Mom, her cronies, my sister, nephew, and...? And guess who's done all the work taking care of mom and dad for the past few years, all their finances, moving them, visiting, taking them to dr. appts., shopping, etc. Almost makes me sick. One day, though, I will really rest with a peaceful conscious.
Everyone in mom's circle has an "opinion" about what should happen to her house, and with the assets. I was told by an aunt that I "should sell, while mom can still enjoy it." Little do the nosey relatives know that she doesn't own the house, but the bank does, and the new guardian isn't paying back the loan. And dad owns 1/2, so the nursing home would get half, in a market of a town where nothing is selling... So mom will not be enjoying much. And if dad goes first, mom will receive their joint annuities, and she'll be kicked out of her subsidized housing. Believe me, Medicaid knows all these things, and I do, but family doesn't know what they think they do. And they are jerking mom's strings.