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oliviajr, Sorry you got the dense doc. I guess we're all a little slow on the uptake sometimes. Too much for them to cover I guess and things get overlooked. Thank God the parents have us to keep all in check and looking out for them. ihardebeck, Hope your sweet dad's intestines stablize for him (and You). Maybe some of that wonderful sausage gravy on some veggies. I love biscuits too, but sometimes they don't like me!!!
In our ever-increasing litigious society, it is imperative that we look after ourselves, and often our loved ones. We canNOT depend upon Physicians, our government, or our family (sometimes) to always have the answer. Everyone has an opinion, and they are not always correct, including Physicians. That's why our vulnerable need strong advocates. Do you trust your Physician 100%? Do you trust government meddling, sanctions, restrictions, regulations, etc., 100%? Sometimes it's the political machinery driving Pharmaceutical companies, and the medical profession of his practices, and we all know our government has failed us time after time. Many of us know that there are Physicians who don't always have the right answers. They are not God, and that's why they're called "Practicing" Physicians. When we trust lawyers, committees, and elected officials to make medical policy, even when they have background, basis, etc., many will admit they don't have all the answers, and they practice hope when administering treatment or medications. Since each individual is unique (by our Creator's design), there is no one-size-fits-all antidote for every symptom or condition. We need to educate ourselves, and quit deifying others. I'm not saying we can't follow the advice of Physicians or Surgeons, and healthcare specialists, or to stop trusting technology, and thank God for them. Without the good ones, this world would be a different place. But sometimes they (and we) arrive at solutions by much trial and error. And sometimes things get missed. And in certain cases, even the most educated, talented Physicians fail to help individuals. What may work for one patient, may not work for another.
Think about this: none of us will make it out of here alive. We will all die (of something). Mankind cannot change that, no matter what they claim, or how hard they try. We simply do the best we can with the information and technology we have to work with. That said, it's important we find a Physician or health care team who will work with us as Caregivers, listen to our observations, etc., and actually take the time to help us help our loved ones. As humans, even Physicians can become overwhelmed, get distracted, and miss some things. I know I do, and sometimes make errors and mistakes along the way. Well, so do Physicians. I would not want to be one, and have to carry their liability and insurance, and responsibility, but...I am every bit as responsible to care for my loved ones, if not more so, than they are. I need to educate myself into how to best do so, and am thankful for this forum to learn, grow, and bounce ideas back and forth. No one ever arrives at perfection, but I am thankful for the advice, compassion, and support found at this site, and many others. I am especially thankful for the camaraderie of those, who like me are caring for loved ones, take the time to help one another. ~Thought I'd share my appreciation and thoughts with you today. And thank you wonderful Caregivers for being here, and sharing your experience, strength, and hope. God bless you, and your loved ones!
Amen secretsister . You are so right in what you are saying. Now with that said I am having to get ready to take my mom to the doctor. We are trying to see what we need to do to get her blood pressure up. She has gone from having high blood pressure to very dangerously low blood pressure. I am a very big advocate for my mother. When I take her to her appt. I make notes. She has so many doc so I write down what doc said what and what doc is doing what.
good morning ladies , SS , wow i just gave ya a star , u realy said it all . dad hasnt pooped yet , man i worry about that . he was put in hospital few yrs ago cuz he got so backed up bad . it was a nightmare for him . poor guy . think i shall give him castrol ?? get him up an dmovin , instead of sleeping . he be so fussy and ill end up using allmy strenth to get him up and moving . ahh forget it , both my arms are aching . i just ache all over . damn if i do damn if i dont ...
lhardebeck, Just remembered. Beer works good too. If your family drinks at all. Wouldn't want you to go against a belief. I still have a couple now & then. Quite gentle in moderation & your dad may enjoy it. Just an idea. Hope all gets better quickly. I know its no treat for anyone, but worst case is always the dreaded enima. They come prepackaged now. I would sugest warming slightly first if you have to resort to that. Or just working his legs in bed is still exercise. Like a therapist....bring his knees up toward his chest slowly & one at a time repeatedly. Praying for you & hope you feel better too.
oh yes beer s always good . pa used to drink once in a while . may just give him some tnite . yes i think i ll do that tnite is put him in bed and work those legs back and forth , i remmy therapy did that one time and my lord he realy made a mess. guess i shall do that tnite . he did poop a lit bit today but not as much , should been more than that .
bobbi , i cant get outside help , that cost money and cant afford it , i ll do it myself , force myself to do it . i ve been feeling tired and no motivavation here lately . need kick my butt and force myself to do it .
last night pa stayed up till 2 am . watching tv , kept askin him ready for bed , noooooooooo he says . ah well ok . i fell sleep on the couch but then again i kept hearing tv , so half sleep half awake , makin me drag today , hopefully tnite it be a good one , poop and sleep . :-)
lil, there is help out there. If you contact your local department of social services and/or health department they can screen your father for community based, in-home support. If your father qualifies for medicaid, which he would being elderly/disabled the only other criteria he would need to meet is the financial piece. If qualified, you could receive at a minimum, respite (to give you a break), personal assistance, and other services. I urge you to look into help. There are also local agencies on aging etc. If you get sick and can't take care of your pa, then what? I do community based case management for a living. If you don't feel comfortable contacting agencies, let me know and I'll do it for you. Reply privately if you'd like some help.
i talked to my bro , he s poa . i ve ask him about the medicaid and medicare . he said that dad is not qualitfy for medicaid cuz he makes too much money . i did have the home health nurse come in , they said that he s fine and doesnt qualitfy for those home health care . they ll come back if he has bed sores . i give up . thanks bobbi for ur help . ill just do what i can do . i have 3 kids they do come and give me a break if i ask for it . theyre pretty good about it . next weekend im going to be gone for a whole weekend , camping with bunch of my friends . :-) calgon take me away ! woohoo.
I hope you have a wonderful time. Have a little (possibly a lot) of adult beverage, some laughter, good food, good friends, you'll feel like a new woman.
Yes, yes. Care for the caregiver. & don't forget those vitamins!!!!! Get a little vitamin D from the sun if you can. No burns but a little is good for us.
thanks u guys . hope it doesnt rain waaa, hubby said if it does rain we shall go to hotel then , lol seems like indiana likes to rain on weekends , am hopin it dont next weekend . pa pooped some last night but i was expecting more than that . guess it'll come when it wants to . i dont think he knows how to grunt to force it out anymore . he s feelin pretty good today , said that he wants to go grocries shopping and then wanna go car shopping too . my dad loves cars . when i was growing up he had a yard full of cars , people thought they were for sale and stop and ask dad which one is for sale he tells them none of it . when i first met my husband he ask me which one do u drive ? i said all of em . :-) . i know we cant go car shopping , my bro will make sure of it cuz pa cant drive any more . i told dad that bro wont let ya buy a car he said oh he cant tell me what to do . he will forget about it once we get grocries full of food , i have to babysit 6 grandkids for about an hr or so , daughter in law has dr s appt and no need to bring 3 small todllers in there and my daughter has dentist appt and no need to bring her kids in there either . ahh ok bring em all over ! . this mamaw will love em all . be alot happier when they leave . whew , i dont know how i did it when i was young , now i get so stress out cuz once they get here they all scattered ! zoooom. have a good day .
OK: I've just skimmed the posts but I see that a lot of us still have our hands full and are working to exhaustion.
Linda: I'm telling ya: bean burritos followed by 2 big cups of Espresso roast. He'll get all awake and move around and deliver a Guinness World Record Log.
Deef: you angel. hang in. the boat's getting closer to you.
Bobbi and oliviajr and godhelpus: you guys are so helpful to everybody. I'm so glad you all are here.
Pirate! Thanks for the good thoughts and vibes and I'm telling you, you are FUNNY.
teristeve: more gross out stories please! (I'm telling one in a minute)
SS! you are an amazing angel and I gave a star on your post also. well said.
Miz! Tennessee! what'cho doing? Kelly? where are ya kid? Pamela? Crew Call!
OK. Right now I'm sitting in the West Palm Beach airport waiting to board to go home to nj.
I spent Monday and Tuesday on the boat. We took her through survey and sea trial and I actually drove her and didn't smack anything so that's a very good sign. The 2 Captains standing on either side of me knew right away that I was one of those you can say anything to so there was a good amount of chop busting as I learned to steer a 58' boat and deal with current, wind, channel markers, other boats and the fact that I was making S turns as i learned how not to over correct and wait for the boat to respond.
There was a big Catamaran behind us in the channel and he got on the horn and wanted to know if the 'Roughwater captain was drunk'. I had enough to do just holding onto the wheel and so one of the other guys answered and just said naw, we just got one working on her learner's permit.
I was told a few times by other folks that this boat is a 'man's boat' and of course I replied in that case it's a good thing that I have big enough Ba!!s to drive it.
My 2 Captains took me out to cocktails and dinner and told me no worries I was going to be fine. they told me all kinds of stories about when they've gotten themselves in the jackpot and I will too and that's one tough as nails boat and she'll handle it. Both of the have offered their services to 'teach me the boat' so it looks like I made a few new friends and they said they'd do it for free because then they get to have fun boat time. I told them about mama and how she kept telling me to 'go get the boat' and these tough guys and I sat there sobbing right in the middle of the restaurant. Mom's prayer card is at the helm right this minute, standing next to the Compass. I got her on the boat.
The owner of the boat is a sweetheart and let me stay aboard for the two nights I was in the area. Practically unheard of in boat brokering and my broker was amazed. i just said that women do business differently than men and that it will be ok.
I lay my head down and was asleep immediately. I only woke up when one of the caps came down and kicked the bunk and said, get the hell up! we're gonna miss the tide! He split and I jumped up and scared the crap out of myself having forgotten that there was a very large mirror on the wall opposite the bed. It took me a second to realize that the corpulent woman with her hair all on one side of her head was me.
I did manage to screw up one of the crappers first time out of the chute, so to speak. I was alone of the boat and here I am trying to fish out a duece from a marine toilet and get it to go away. The thought crossed my mind that if I was in the house or building and this happened, I would fix it but be all bummed out. A boat has a magic aura around it and things just aren't so bad.
OK, here's the miracle part.
I was sitting in the cockpit (back porch) and talking on the phone to my g/f Shanda in Cali and i starting crying again about mama and how she would have loved this and how hard I tried to get it to happen in her time, etc and I said and now mama's not here.
Shanda says: you Mother is indeed there. She is in your heart, your consciousness and all around you.
At that VERY second, not 18" off the swim step a Dolphin surfaced, LOOKED ME RIGHT IN THE EYES with that dolphin smile and dove smacking her flukes.... and right behind her was her baby.
I exhaled for what felt like the first time in 6 years.
Sailors: I'm working hard to make this happen. We will meet each other on the Barbara Bee.
oh bobbie321 !! what a wonderful thing u wrote ! i like the end part where the dophine and her baby behind her . yes indeed ur momma was there ! proud of you my friend ! i would like one day to be able to ride in barabra b ,s boat . i think i can trust u to drive me around . wink . so u did all this by urself ? ur hubby done flew back home ? too bad he didnt stay and hangout in that boat with ya . maybe we;ll throw him to the dolphine and the baby , they;ll give him a piggy back ride . :-) we love u bobbie321 ! yes where is everybody ? pamela , tenn and SS . hope all is ok with them . gota grandkids a comin here in half hr i better get off this and zoom do dishes and laundry before i end up cant do them . have a good flight back home my dear friend . xoxo
I can't wait to meet you on the Barbara Bee! Bobbie, your mom gave you a precious gift, and it will be a pleasure to share in your joy, hearing about all your adventures! Thanks for giving us pause, hope, and a part in your excitement. You are an extraordinary woman, and deserve every bit of your rest and reward. God bless you, dear sister. Happy sailing!
bobbie321 loved what you wrote. There for a minute as I was reading I felt at peace. I could just feel myself on that boat rocking back and forth with the wind blowing sun beating down on me. I had no worries for that one moment. That you for that wonderful story.
bobbie321, How wonderful for you!!!! God & your mom letting you know that all is well through the dolphins. He never ceases to amaze me. WOW!!!!!! What a treat! That'll be a keeper for the rest of our lives. Thanks. I'm impressed that you handle a 50+ footer! At what point does it stop being a boat and become a ship?? Thats a mighty big boat. Glad you had a couple of old salts to show you the moorings (ropes). Lhardebeck, Don't do this with your dad....but hubby wanted me to tell you about his rasin episode. He loves rasins and ate most of a big box one afternoon. Of course to wash them down he had a HUGE glass of water. Within half an hour his insides were roaring audibly "Aaarrrrhhhhggggggg". We looked at each other & in unison said "Uh Oh!". The results were quite violent so I would'nt suggest it for your dad. Hubby doesn't do that anymore!!!!
My mom is the one that told me over and over that it's impolite to blow your nose at the dinner table. Now she's doing it constantly. I had a cold recently and got up several times to take care of my own. She asked my why I did that. So I told her, you're the one who taught me that it was impolite to blow your nose at the table. She still doesn't get it.
Wow, bobbie. That's so awesome. What a gift to you that mama dolphin and baby were!! It's so nice to hear from you. :)
I've been either too tired or too down or both to read the posts or post something myself. Hubby got poison ivy while trimming the hedge in the back yard. His eyelids are swollen and it's on his face, arms, torso, and elsewhere. Poor guy. He went to the doc and got a steroid shot and some meds. Wow, it's always something. He just left to get us some new patio furniture for the front porch marked down at Wal-Mart. What we have out there is old as the hills and rusted out and the cushions are duct taped where there are holes and tears. We spend lots of time out there especially in the morning before Mom gets up and on smoke breaks.
Mom is doing okay. I think we're all three depressed. I'm gonna try to take a nap pretty soon. We'll see how that goes.
I guys Maxine here no news just checking my grand-daughter leaves to college tomarrow again only was home for 3 weeks her class is for 5 weeks and then will be back. I enjoy reading your post-it is comming up to a year since the husband passed away still have somepaper work to do. I have been working a lot in the yard and started a amall garden and have been planting lots of sunflowers and made a rock garden,
Maxine! good to see you! I love sunflowers and will be planting some here too. Might still get a few volunteers from last year.
Thank you all for sharing this experience with me. I keep crying and cried just about all the way back from Fl. I so wanted mama to have fun on the boat because she worked so hard.
I'm back at the house, and it is very sad being so empty. Nik is back in LA to be with his family and work and I have a lot of 'buttoning up' to do here. Another long list I've gotten myself into....
Christine, hi there and I don't know if I've ever said Hi there. Been nuts like the rest of us. Bobbi's got it with the go with the flow..... nice choice of words there Bobbi! love it. Your mom is going to continute to do gross stuff. I swear that sometimes you'll think that your skull is going to implode.
What's happening inside her brain is that the little connections that made her tell you not to blow your nose at the table are disconnecting. More and more of them will become disconnected and she will develop even more unusual behaviors. Make ya nuts? absolutely. Fight back with humor. Humor has saved our lives here. get a bike horn and the next time mom honks one out during dinner, toot the horn. Hell, get a whoopie cushion and everybody join in. Duck calls... doesn't matter, whatever you can get your hands on. Kazoos are good.
We used humor to make us all more comfortable with what we were all going through, including mom. She'd get to laughing about it too and it takes so much tension out of the situation. There will still be tension oh you know it but hey... you do what you can.
What is happening to your poor mom is progressive. things are going to get even more wierd. I'm not trying to freak you out, seriously, but you ain't seen nothing yet.
There are things i would change now in how I was the caregiver for my mom. I know more now and understand the disease better. It wasn't easy for her either because she knew there was a screw loose but didn't know where.
Please know that we're here for you and vent on!! It will make you feel less frustrated and whaddya think? At least try the Whoopie cushion....
The peace on the boat is unreal. You guys are going to love it. Let's just make plans like it's goinjg to happen and even if it doesn't because of some reason or another we'll just chalk another one up....I'll have to think up something else.
OK I would be bringing her up the east coast and can call in on anyone close to anywhere you can dock/moor a boat. It can be the Respite Boat.... caregivers come out and stay for as long as they can arrange to be away and talk and chow down and have fun, but most of all, get some peace.
There will be a USCG Captain in charge of the boat but he would be there to teach me so there could be funny stuff involved while I learn how to say: drop an anchor. Hopefully I will have remembered to have the anchor attached to the boat before sending it and a load of chain overboard.
It's good to see you Miz. Poor husband with the Poison Ivy. The stuff is the worst. Enjoy your new patio furniture. Sit out there and be on the boat baby.......
misunders, Chances are hubby will squak about this but he'll be glad if he does it. Take some oatmeal in a sock & get it wet. Sqwish the sock til it gets juicy & put the juice on the poison ivy affected areas. It's cool & soothing and acts to draw the poison out as it dries. Watch not to get in his eyes. My hubby had it all over some years ago and I made him take a bath in it. (Also good for severe sunburn). He was cranky but I read to him while he soaked & he was not as uncomfortable after. Hope it heals soon.
Thanks, godhelpus. I will see if he will go for it. He does seem better today.
Well, as far as the patio furniture goes. Hubby went to Wal-Mart and apparently the mark down price is only good on-line. So ya have to order it on-line and they will get it to a store near you (where they already have them) and this takes like two weeks. So hubby said, screw it or something. :) He said the price could go down lower in that time so we will wait. I hope they don't run out of them cause they are very nice for the money. So, I had my nap. Unreal!! Not even the phone rang!! Slept for almost 2 hours I think. Got up and got an iced tea and sat down on the old patio furniture and lit up a smoke. Mom came out and there's brown stuff all over her top. We eventually go inside (I'm still not awake) and go to the bathroom and what a mess. (Second such mess in two days.) I don't know how it wasn't all over her hands but it wasn't. Ugh!! Don't think I want supper. Hubby and the two kitties are snoozin' on the bed. I want that boat and I want it now!! ;)
Bobbie123(our names are confusing arent they?) Anyway, loved the idea of tooting the horn and wh whoopie cushion. Kind of makes you realize that some of the things that we fret over (being proper) in the long run don't make a hill of beans worth of difference. The world will not end if someone is not proper at all times. Our parents teach us so we know better. When I get to be that age i will certainly blow my nose, fart at the table if i want to!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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Sorry you got the dense doc. I guess we're all a little slow on the uptake sometimes. Too much for them to cover I guess and things get overlooked.
Thank God the parents have us to keep all in check and looking out for them.
ihardebeck,
Hope your sweet dad's intestines stablize for him (and You). Maybe some of that wonderful sausage gravy on some veggies. I love biscuits too, but sometimes they don't like me!!!
Think about this: none of us will make it out of here alive. We will all die (of something). Mankind cannot change that, no matter what they claim, or how hard they try. We simply do the best we can with the information and technology we have to work with. That said, it's important we find a Physician or health care team who will work with us as Caregivers, listen to our observations, etc., and actually take the time to help us help our loved ones. As humans, even Physicians can become overwhelmed, get distracted, and miss some things. I know I do, and sometimes make errors and mistakes along the way. Well, so do Physicians. I would not want to be one, and have to carry their liability and insurance, and responsibility, but...I am every bit as responsible to care for my loved ones, if not more so, than they are. I need to educate myself into how to best do so, and am thankful for this forum to learn, grow, and bounce ideas back and forth. No one ever arrives at perfection, but I am thankful for the advice, compassion, and support found at this site, and many others. I am especially thankful for the camaraderie of those, who like me are caring for loved ones, take the time to help one another. ~Thought I'd share my appreciation and thoughts with you today. And thank you wonderful Caregivers for being here, and sharing your experience, strength, and hope. God bless you, and your loved ones!
SS , wow i just gave ya a star , u realy said it all .
dad hasnt pooped yet , man i worry about that . he was put in hospital few yrs ago cuz he got so backed up bad . it was a nightmare for him . poor guy . think i shall give him castrol ?? get him up an dmovin , instead of sleeping . he be so fussy and ill end up using allmy strenth to get him up and moving . ahh forget it ,
both my arms are aching . i just ache all over .
damn if i do damn if i dont ...
Just remembered. Beer works good too. If your family drinks at all. Wouldn't want you to go against a belief. I still have a couple now & then. Quite gentle in moderation & your dad may enjoy it. Just an idea. Hope all gets better quickly.
I know its no treat for anyone, but worst case is always the dreaded enima. They come prepackaged now. I would sugest warming slightly first if you have to resort to that.
Or just working his legs in bed is still exercise. Like a therapist....bring his knees up toward his chest slowly & one at a time repeatedly.
Praying for you & hope you feel better too.
yes i think i ll do that tnite is put him in bed and work those legs back and forth , i remmy therapy did that one time and my lord he realy made a mess. guess i shall do that tnite .
he did poop a lit bit today but not as much , should been more than that .
bobbi , i cant get outside help , that cost money and cant afford it , i ll do it myself , force myself to do it . i ve been feeling tired and no motivavation here lately . need kick my butt and force myself to do it .
last night pa stayed up till 2 am . watching tv , kept askin him ready for bed , noooooooooo he says . ah well ok . i fell sleep on the couch but then again i kept hearing tv , so half sleep half awake , makin me drag today , hopefully tnite it be a good one , poop and sleep .
:-)
i did have the home health nurse come in , they said that he s fine and doesnt qualitfy for those home health care . they ll come back if he has bed sores .
i give up . thanks bobbi for ur help . ill just do what i can do . i have 3 kids they do come and give me a break if i ask for it . theyre pretty good about it .
next weekend im going to be gone for a whole weekend , camping with bunch of my friends . :-) calgon take me away ! woohoo.
& don't forget those vitamins!!!!!
Get a little vitamin D from the sun if you can. No burns but a little is good for us.
pa pooped some last night but i was expecting more than that . guess it'll come when it wants to . i dont think he knows how to grunt to force it out anymore .
he s feelin pretty good today , said that he wants to go grocries shopping and then wanna go car shopping too . my dad loves cars . when i was growing up he had a yard full of cars , people thought they were for sale and stop and ask dad which one is for sale he tells them none of it .
when i first met my husband he ask me which one do u drive ? i said all of em . :-) .
i know we cant go car shopping , my bro will make sure of it cuz pa cant drive any more . i told dad that bro wont let ya buy a car he said oh he cant tell me what to do .
he will forget about it once we get grocries full of food , i have to babysit 6 grandkids for about an hr or so , daughter in law has dr s appt and no need to bring 3 small todllers in there and my daughter has dentist appt and no need to bring her kids in there either . ahh ok bring em all over ! .
this mamaw will love em all . be alot happier when they leave . whew ,
i dont know how i did it when i was young , now i get so stress out cuz once they get here they all scattered ! zoooom.
have a good day .
OK: I've just skimmed the posts but I see that a lot of us still have our hands full and are working to exhaustion.
Linda: I'm telling ya: bean burritos followed by 2 big cups of Espresso roast. He'll get all awake and move around and deliver a Guinness World Record Log.
Deef: you angel. hang in. the boat's getting closer to you.
Bobbi and oliviajr and godhelpus: you guys are so helpful to everybody. I'm so glad you all are here.
Pirate! Thanks for the good thoughts and vibes and I'm telling you, you are FUNNY.
teristeve: more gross out stories please! (I'm telling one in a minute)
SS! you are an amazing angel and I gave a star on your post also. well said.
Miz! Tennessee! what'cho doing?
Kelly? where are ya kid? Pamela?
Crew Call!
OK. Right now I'm sitting in the West Palm Beach airport waiting to board to go home to nj.
I spent Monday and Tuesday on the boat. We took her through survey and sea trial and I actually drove her and didn't smack anything so that's a very good sign. The 2 Captains standing on either side of me knew right away that I was one of those you can say anything to so there was a good amount of chop busting as I learned to steer a 58' boat and deal with current, wind, channel markers, other boats and the fact that I was making S turns as i learned how not to over correct and wait for the boat to respond.
There was a big Catamaran behind us in the channel and he got on the horn and wanted to know if the 'Roughwater captain was drunk'. I had enough to do just holding onto the wheel and so one of the other guys answered and just said naw, we just got one working on her learner's permit.
I was told a few times by other folks that this boat is a 'man's boat' and of course I replied in that case it's a good thing that I have big enough Ba!!s to drive it.
My 2 Captains took me out to cocktails and dinner and told me no worries I was going to be fine. they told me all kinds of stories about when they've gotten themselves in the jackpot and I will too and that's one tough as nails boat and she'll handle it. Both of the have offered their services to 'teach me the boat' so it looks like I made a few new friends and they said they'd do it for free because then they get to have fun boat time.
I told them about mama and how she kept telling me to 'go get the boat' and these tough guys and I sat there sobbing right in the middle of the restaurant.
Mom's prayer card is at the helm right this minute, standing next to the Compass. I got her on the boat.
The owner of the boat is a sweetheart and let me stay aboard for the two nights I was in the area. Practically unheard of in boat brokering and my broker was amazed. i just said that women do business differently than men and that it will be ok.
I lay my head down and was asleep immediately. I only woke up when one of the caps came down and kicked the bunk and said, get the hell up! we're gonna miss the tide! He split and I jumped up and scared the crap out of myself having forgotten that there was a very large mirror on the wall opposite the bed. It took me a second to realize that the corpulent woman with her hair all on one side of her head was me.
I did manage to screw up one of the crappers first time out of the chute, so to speak. I was alone of the boat and here I am trying to fish out a duece from a marine toilet and get it to go away.
The thought crossed my mind that if I was in the house or building and this happened, I would fix it but be all bummed out. A boat has a magic aura around it and things just aren't so bad.
OK, here's the miracle part.
I was sitting in the cockpit (back porch) and talking on the phone to my g/f Shanda in Cali and i starting crying again about mama and how she would have loved this and how hard I tried to get it to happen in her time, etc and I said and now mama's not here.
Shanda says: you Mother is indeed there. She is in your heart, your consciousness and all around you.
At that VERY second, not 18" off the swim step a Dolphin surfaced, LOOKED ME RIGHT IN THE EYES with that dolphin smile and dove smacking her flukes.... and right behind her was her baby.
I exhaled for what felt like the first time in 6 years.
Sailors: I'm working hard to make this happen. We will meet each other on the Barbara Bee.
Much love to you all,
lovbob
proud of you my friend !
i would like one day to be able to ride in barabra b ,s boat . i think i can trust u to drive me around . wink .
so u did all this by urself ? ur hubby done flew back home ? too bad he didnt stay and hangout in that boat with ya . maybe we;ll throw him to the dolphine and the baby , they;ll give him a piggy back ride . :-)
we love u bobbie321 !
yes where is everybody ? pamela , tenn and SS . hope all is ok with them .
gota grandkids a comin here in half hr i better get off this and zoom do dishes and laundry before i end up cant do them .
have a good flight back home my dear friend . xoxo
How wonderful for you!!!! God & your mom letting you know that all is well through the dolphins. He never ceases to amaze me. WOW!!!!!! What a treat! That'll be a keeper for the rest of our lives. Thanks.
I'm impressed that you handle a 50+ footer! At what point does it stop being a boat and become a ship?? Thats a mighty big boat. Glad you had a couple of old salts to show you the moorings (ropes).
Lhardebeck,
Don't do this with your dad....but hubby wanted me to tell you about his rasin episode. He loves rasins and ate most of a big box one afternoon. Of course to wash them down he had a HUGE glass of water. Within half an hour his insides were roaring audibly "Aaarrrrhhhhggggggg". We looked at each other & in unison said "Uh Oh!". The results were quite violent so I would'nt suggest it for your dad. Hubby doesn't do that anymore!!!!
I've been either too tired or too down or both to read the posts or post something myself. Hubby got poison ivy while trimming the hedge in the back yard. His eyelids are swollen and it's on his face, arms, torso, and elsewhere. Poor guy. He went to the doc and got a steroid shot and some meds. Wow, it's always something. He just left to get us some new patio furniture for the front porch marked down at Wal-Mart. What we have out there is old as the hills and rusted out and the cushions are duct taped where there are holes and tears. We spend lots of time out there especially in the morning before Mom gets up and on smoke breaks.
Mom is doing okay. I think we're all three depressed. I'm gonna try to take a nap pretty soon. We'll see how that goes.
Love and hugs to you all.
love,
miz
Maxine! good to see you! I love sunflowers and will be planting some here too. Might still get a few volunteers from last year.
Thank you all for sharing this experience with me. I keep crying and cried just about all the way back from Fl. I so wanted mama to have fun on the boat because she worked so hard.
I'm back at the house, and it is very sad being so empty. Nik is back in LA to be with his family and work and I have a lot of 'buttoning up' to do here. Another long list I've gotten myself into....
Christine, hi there and I don't know if I've ever said Hi there. Been nuts like the rest of us. Bobbi's got it with the go with the flow..... nice choice of words there Bobbi! love it.
Your mom is going to continute to do gross stuff. I swear that sometimes you'll think that your skull is going to implode.
What's happening inside her brain is that the little connections that made her tell you not to blow your nose at the table are disconnecting.
More and more of them will become disconnected and she will develop even more unusual behaviors.
Make ya nuts? absolutely.
Fight back with humor. Humor has saved our lives here.
get a bike horn and the next time mom honks one out during dinner, toot the horn. Hell, get a whoopie cushion and everybody join in. Duck calls... doesn't matter, whatever you can get your hands on. Kazoos are good.
We used humor to make us all more comfortable with what we were all going through, including mom. She'd get to laughing about it too and it takes so much tension out of the situation. There will still be tension oh you know it but hey... you do what you can.
What is happening to your poor mom is progressive. things are going to get even more wierd. I'm not trying to freak you out, seriously, but you ain't seen nothing yet.
There are things i would change now in how I was the caregiver for my mom. I know more now and understand the disease better. It wasn't easy for her either because she knew there was a screw loose but didn't know where.
Please know that we're here for you and vent on!! It will make you feel less frustrated and whaddya think? At least try the Whoopie cushion....
The peace on the boat is unreal. You guys are going to love it. Let's just make plans like it's goinjg to happen and even if it doesn't because of some reason or another we'll just chalk another one up....I'll have to think up something else.
OK I would be bringing her up the east coast and can call in on anyone close to anywhere you can dock/moor a boat.
It can be the Respite Boat.... caregivers come out and stay for as long as they can arrange to be away and talk and chow down and have fun, but most of all, get some peace.
There will be a USCG Captain in charge of the boat but he would be there to teach me so there could be funny stuff involved while I learn how to say: drop an anchor. Hopefully I will have remembered to have the anchor attached to the boat before sending it and a load of chain overboard.
It's good to see you Miz. Poor husband with the Poison Ivy. The stuff is the worst.
Enjoy your new patio furniture. Sit out there and be on the boat baby.......
lovbob
Chances are hubby will squak about this but he'll be glad if he does it. Take some oatmeal in a sock & get it wet. Sqwish the sock til it gets juicy & put the juice on the poison ivy affected areas. It's cool & soothing and acts to draw the poison out as it dries. Watch not to get in his eyes.
My hubby had it all over some years ago and I made him take a bath in it. (Also good for severe sunburn). He was cranky but I read to him while he soaked & he was not as uncomfortable after. Hope it heals soon.
Well, as far as the patio furniture goes. Hubby went to Wal-Mart and apparently the mark down price is only good on-line. So ya have to order it on-line and they will get it to a store near you (where they already have them) and this takes like two weeks. So hubby said, screw it or something. :) He said the price could go down lower in that time so we will wait. I hope they don't run out of them cause they are very nice for the money. So, I had my nap. Unreal!! Not even the phone rang!! Slept for almost 2 hours I think. Got up and got an iced tea and sat down on the old patio furniture and lit up a smoke. Mom came out and there's brown stuff all over her top. We eventually go inside (I'm still not awake) and go to the bathroom and what a mess. (Second such mess in two days.) I don't know how it wasn't all over her hands but it wasn't. Ugh!! Don't think I want supper. Hubby and the two kitties are snoozin' on the bed. I want that boat and I want it now!! ;)
love,
miz
I'm ready for the boat. Where and when? Wrapping up things around here, and we're freeeeeeeeeeee!!