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everythig changes , sounds like u didnt go thru what we all went thru . sounds like u stayed hiding away like our siblings did and came around when u hear gma is in her last stage and find it sad . yep everything is sad gross and funny . we need our bobbie to cheer us up , shes one hellva lady i ever met and she is soooo speical to us all . we lean on to eachother everyday so dont come on this thread and say that we are horible . cuz we are not !! u sound like one of our siblings so u have no clue or no idea what we al go thru . leave this post and go find another one to say waa waaa . am sorry for ur gma . sounds like shes on her way out . but hope she bounces back . watch what u say girl cuz we sailors aint putting up with people like u .
my sailors !! im leavin tmr horray , camping time yippy ! i askpa if he s going tomiss me he said ohyes i already missing you . my sis in law said what ya think about her going ? he said oh she needs to go and have a good time . aww bless his heart . i love my pa !!!! i gonna miss him ! justonly 3 days . then when i get home it will be like i never left ! grrr hate that . am hoping and prayin pa be all good and ok while im gone . i fear for a ph call while im half way there or just got there ?? think ill shut my ph off . prayin i get to have a good time and no worries and pray like hell my daddy s gonna be happy poo man . xoxo u all ! ill be canoing and thinkin bobbies boat , :-)
I was in a canoe one time with a fat lady. I was no delicate flower myself so with physics being what it is and the planets lining up (wind, current & speedboat wake) we took a roll. The amazing thing to me is that I didn't let go of my beer.
Linda, Thank you my baby girl for the love. You have as much fun as you all can stand and your pa is a sweetheart and give him a kiss for me. He's gonna be ok so you can have some fun!!
SS, love you much EJ! Miz: you animal you. well said all of it. Pirate: sgt at arms. Deef: diplomat Godhelps: and you gave her a hug because you are a good person and as we all do, we try to reach out. I did look up her profile and this is the only thread EC has posted on. It makes me worried that she (it is a she is it not?) is in a terrible amount of pain to lash out like that. Or something else because she's not posted anywhere else to get help. When mom was dying I told the mayor of the town where she had her bookstore..... Well, i can't print it here, but it was awful and I felt bad afterwards. She had just got up on my bad nerve.
OK: moving forward. We have a good crew and we grow together.
I'm off to tackle the BASEMENT.....not the BASEMENT!!! noooooohhhhh...! Have to wait for the pool guys to come out and install a new light and then I can fill it the rest of the way. Meanwhile since I can't run the filter (water level too low) every leaf, seed and everything else is fallin in the pool. Tear my a$$ in half and people tell me to join a gym. ya right.
Have to treat the hinges for the kitchen cabinets so we can put the doors up. All hardware is solid copper (original when i dismantled the cabinets) and I'm going to give it the chemical bath to turn it verdigris and then seal it with a lacquer (sp?). Then kitchen is Finished!!
In other words I am keeping myself as busy as I can and I miss mom like crazy but I am becoming less selfish because I realize that she is not suffering anymore. And I know she's here with me because of that Dolphin!! nutz crying again.
i'll check in later, love you guys,
lovbob
p.s. everythingchanges.... you can give us another try if you want to. At least now you know what NOT to say lol.....
Bobbie321, you have the softest heart, and are so forgiving. Guess we have to be to survive. Good for your productivity! What in the world did you say to the mayor?
Linda, you have fun, fun, fun camping and canoeing. Make it a joy-filled adventure, cuz we need to hear stories like that.
Miz, you and hubby are looking dandy in those pics I saw recently. Hope you're having a lovely summer. Hugs!
My litte shipmate is strumming his ukulele, having bought a cord book this morning. He's serenading the grandpas and residents at the nursing home, when he's not playing piano for them. ~My precious son! Just took him out to some yard sales with me. That's our favorite summer activity, cept for the beach, which he's begging to go to. Maybe later. It's a gorgeous summer day on the lakes today: Charlevoix, Round, Michigan, and Walloon. Bobbie, we're waiting at the dock! When are you coming? Well have to find some appropriate music to christen the Barbara B. Get on the boat!!!
B321, I'm a saint in progress but not there yet. The hug I gave everythingchanges was more like a slap but figured what I had to tell her was better off not publicly posted. I was as diplomatic and compassionate as I can get under those circumstances but it wasn't pretty. Similar to what others wrote I'm afraid. I'm not perfect by a long shot. Just ill advised and really bad timing on her part set us all off. She didn't know and she won't understand until she has to go through it. So often we don't realize what we're doing/saying until we offend.
We can manage some wild contortions to save those beers can't we? A question of priorities!!! lol
SS, I'm at a loss dear. We wish so badly to help you. I'll keep praying for GOD's protection & deliverance for you in this battle.
lharde, Enjoy your trip. If you tip make sure you save the beer!!! lol
My mom, my mom, my mom is back to her hateful, vindictive and spiteful self again. I guess I should be grateful for the week she was nice since she came back from the NH. She had me jumping all week but it was OK as long as she was human. Apparently she got a visit from the devil last night and he reminded her how she's supposed to act. We went shopping for a motorized lift chair today. I should have gone alone but thought she should make the decision. My mistake. She needs the chair now as she is getting skin grafts on her feet & keeps falling asleep in her chair which makes her feet swell.....blah blah. Well her royal highness didn't like the nice microfiber material and had to special order a diff. material at an added cost of $100 and a 6-8 week wait. AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! That was just one of the multitude of surprises she had in store for me today. GOD bless her hard little heart! His grace is new every day but I'm having a beer to help end this one.
Don't you dare be sorry for expressing your feelings! You're the sweet heart! I thought you made a well written response to it all. And I thought you were nice about it! Walk a mile, blah blah in my flip flops.....hee hee
I hear you about making an errand really more difficult. Ya, I learned to just go out and handle stuff without any extra goofiness. Didn't have the energy.
Love to SS... can't tell you what I said to the mayor. Tell you in person some day. Have a blast Linda,
godhelpus, some of us can relate to a hard-hearted mumsy, and know how difficult that can be. Satan or disease process? I wonder. Either way, there is no pleasing when they get like that, except learn to duck and dodge the bullets. But it's more peaceful to do things for them, than with them at times. The problem was, no matter what I did was criticized (even the really nice, thoughtful, wonderful things). You know, "no good deed went unpunished."
When I had to take mom to an appointment, on the way home, she would go off for whatever reason. I used to literally stop my car, get out, and scream (things got that bad!). Once, I called a taxi, and was going to have mom pay for it, but it was $75 to go 10 miles, so I got back in and drove her home. I couldn't wait to get away from her, and didn't want to sit around for an hour waiting for the taxi to show up. Only someone who's experienced the horrors of a mother out-of-control can relate. Ask Pirategal.
I am relieved things have changed. We all breathe easier knowing we don't have to tolerate her abuse 3-5 times per week anymore. Sis moved away on purpose, and likes to keep it that way. Once a year is more than enough for her to visit. Mom doesn't know why sis moved, or why she is so "busy." I know full well. The golden child gets all the praise, though. Ugh! Don't know who is more wicked. Guess who gets the work? Well, many of you know how that works. Right, Miz?
So, godhelpus, why do you think she flip flops? Disease process, or what? How long has this cycle been going?
Hello Everyone. I'm proud of all of us. Standing up for ourselves like we did. Pirate, you're awesome!! We don't need that s@#$ on here. Hubby and I tried to go out and spend the day together today but it was so hot and he wasn't feeling well. He's still taking meds for his poison ivy and I think that may be making him tired and light headed. He's says he's old and out of shape. LOL, he's only 40. So...I went to the grocery store and then tanned and came home. I had the CNA stay until her usual time so I could at least get a break. Bobbie, I wanna come swim in your pool. And just lounge around. Going to bed now. Love and hugs to you all. Thanks for being here even when I'm not so much.
SS, We're sure trying to have a good Summer. I ordered some very reasonable patio furniture today from Wal-Mart for the front porch. Something to look forward to at least. :)
SS, Thanks. I did eventually remember why I quit taking mom shopping today. I won't get into that trap again. Took me by surprise she did. I figured she had something up her sleeve. She had been so sweet for a whole week.....too long. When we got back I was redressing her foot wounds, filling her meds & checking her blood sugar when the cable guy got there & I had to clean out the entertainment chest so he could get behind it. The one thing I haven't gotten to clean & it had to be done today!!! I was trying so hard to get out of there so I wouldn't blow my stack. Of course mom is a hoarder so it was packed with crap and I made another mess cleaning it out. I didn't scream but I did curse plenty before I was done and able to leave. I haven't had to pull the car over yet like you have so I guess I should count my blessings. I am grateful for the one week I did have. God give us stregnth and stamina.
Miz, you come on down there's plenty of room but pool still not filled up (waiting for light part) but will be good in a few days.
SS and Godhelps you hang in. This is tough, no bones about it. I am still surprised that I am alone when I wake in the morning.
The stillness and loneliness isn't fun, nor is all the legal work, paperwork and heavy lifting. ow back hurts.
AND I know exactly what you mean by 'stopping the car'...
You ladies take care and I'll make some coffee and feel better in a minute. (sad) I hope everybody has a better day and yay for Linda! Hopefully she's not in a canoe with a fat lady........
Bobbie321, love and prayers going your way. Sorry for your heartache. I pray the Holy Spirit comforts you in a tangible way. Unfortunately, the legal stuff is horrid, as I can imagine. They have no sympathy for emotions, and the journey you've been on. I'll join you in that cup of coffee.
Miz, I'd join you poolside, in a heartbeat, if possible. Actually, my mind is trying to make this happen, or get on the boat, or...something! You ladies don't know how many times I wish I could just get in the car and start driving. But, the details...keep me grounded...for the moment.
SS, I am with you there. Run run run run away. But we can't can we? We're responsible people. Mom keeps me grounded. I feel for all of you who are dealing with nasty parents. I can't imagine going through that. Bless you and hugs to you all!!
Bless your loving heart, Miz. Wish I could run down there right now, give you a hug, and pick you up, heading for Bobbie's. But, as you say, we are responsible Caregivers, with many duties to perform on behalf of our loved ones. Still, we can dream!
God bless each and every Caregiver, and your loved ones, and all that lies ahead. Hugs to you in your difficulties.
My nephew has left my moms house. Says he's staying with friends because it's too depressing to stay there any longer. He didn't do anything there anyway, so I don't know why he would leave outside of just being lazy and not wanting to help. I can understand the depression, but I think leaving is a cop out.
The doctor took mom off of two medicines saying it may possible improve her memory, but I can't see any difference now. Voice is still scratchy, and breathing is not normal. A total turn around but still we go on.
Yes I say God bless each and every caregiver, and your loved ones, and all that lies ahead as well.
Praying for you and your mom, and family, Pamela. Docs say a lot of things about meds, and it's still a "practice." They didn't help my dad, except to curb his aggression. He is really declining in terms of memory, physical and mental abilibies. Alz./dementia are no picnic.
Bobbie...lol Sargent at Arms...love it. I am a tuffy,...and you know what's funny about it mommy taught me that. That is one good thing she taught me is TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Funny eh, but a good life lesson. I even told off an Engineering lead today at work cause I am sick of how he talks to me, even if it is in jest. It's just in a demeaning manner and he's always been that way, today I snapped cause it's been very stressfull at work due to new horrific software we have to learn to do all our functions and these screens are 100 times more cumbersome than we have now...and I am not exagerating and the training is horrid on top of it...much of it is learn on your own and glossed over. Okay enough of that shit. Harde....you have a great vacation camping - even if it was for 3 days. I have not gone on a vacation for the past 11 years cause I could never leave town due to mommy dearest. Just don't go camping in between two steep cliffs and get RAINED OUT!!!! (like that horrible thing we heard about in the news = flash flood). Don't worry your pappy will be okay while you are gone!!!! SecSis - Yep I remember going through lots of hell last year and the year before. The meds really helped once it got established. I thought I was never going to get out of hell with her. She is so slowed down now. So quiet and soft. I love it and trully feel even more sympathetic now. It's so much easier when they are little old ladies. She finally has become that nice little old lady...I cannot believe it. Last night I was laying on the bed next to my mom [my parents had 2 twin beds pushed next to each other and made up like one bed with the top cover...lol ;-) ] and was watching the Food Channel (the only channel she watches, unless she's watching along with me in the kitchen when I have CNN on and I am screaming at it about corrupt politicians and the gulf oil disaster) and it was kinda nice. I think I will do that more with her, gotta figure out if I can get the VCR next to the tv to work.
Godhelpus...just hang in there.....what about psych meds? Or is she still just too defiant.
Yes Sec Sis and Godhelpus,...check this out...I now take care of the outside at my mom's house and I stand in the place where she used to water. Five years ago she was standing in those same spots screaming at the neighbor across the street and obscene things as well and that's when she was 81. Glad that is all over, never thought I would make it. I stood looking at this woman for the past 11 years wondering when it would be over. She was so domineering. Not now. I kept wondering when was that old person that is sweet and docile and helpless ever going to appear and it was year after year after year, after my dad died. After 5 years I kept wondering when, after 8 and 9 years I kept wondering WHEN! She is a tough woman, always was. Now I can see a frail woman that is slowly going blind and hardly eating much and sleeping a lot. I almost take care of her like a baby now...it's nice. I don't scream and yell and have fights with her. I only have to raise my voice if she doesn't understand me. And just think a few months ago she was still acting up. But not now her time has finally come when time has come. I really thought she would be horrible to the end, but nope, the path in life took a different bend. But it also could be the meds, but heck I rather have a nice and quiet mom, than a overbearing personality that I once had to deal with. I don't know where this road will go but I am gently walking down that path with her now.
Pirate, I'm so glad things are better for you, at least at home. If you and your mom can be at a loving place, that is so beautiful and when she's gone you will have those good memories to cherish. Your talk about your work brought back some bad stuff I've experienced in the past. I hate poor or lack of training. It's so unproductive and frustrating.
I'm getting tired. Was up too late last night. Gonna go have a smoke and hit the hay. Got lots to do tomorrow. Bestest friend is gonna be in town. I've known her forever and I mean that literally. She and her husband are going to come over tomorrow night and sit on the porch with us and have drinks. We don't have the new patio furniture yet (that I ordered from Wal-Mart) but we gots two new tables. It's got an eclectic look now. Old as the hills duct taped rusted out furniture with two new talbes. :)
Thanks miz, yep it's much better at home now. And work it just getting worse every year. All my textbooks that I have in my desk drawer mentions several times for software to be maintained in one inclusive system, so everything talks to each other and is the same manipulation of screens, and let's throw in streamlined and simple to use and idiot proof. And the biggest point..have the users in the development. We have about 8 different systems and many have these extra added systems due to the company that bought us several years back...mega uber company...software did not support some functions our site needs. Oh well I don't want to hear any of those friggen asswipes from upper management talking about reducing cycle time and being 'LEAN'. Them and their friggin new words. Geez I gotta hang in there 4 more years...arrrrrgh!
ya, pirate I know what you are experiencing. Mom and I had some great times when the yelling stopped. I used to lay up in bed with her and watch the tube too.
I was never able to work for a big company because I am retarded. Just as soon tell someone to go pee up a rope than 'how's this work?'. HATE lousy management. And don't get me started on BP those greedy pigs.
Love ya Miz, hang in with your sweet mom. Bet the patio looks great. duct tape and all and enjoy your friends. Good stuff.
Pamela: hard for real young people to deal with real old people. Ya it's a cop out but if he stays then you have to look at the puss. Sometimes easier when they just get up and leave, especially if he's a layabout. My heart goes out to you because I know you'd like some kind of support.
OK everybody it's Saturday and I have to do the BASEMENT. I keep putting it off because it's.......wait for it.......... GROSS!!!!
Piratess, enjoy that reprieve. Quiet and sweet, that's a blessing!
Miz, hope you're having fun with your friends. Real ones don't care what kind of furniture you have.
Hope lhardebeck is having fun.
My boy entered the local youth parade yesterday as: "Little boy on bike celebrating God-given freedom." He wore a political shirt for a candidate, and ended up getting lumped in with them, and they did not announce his slogan. But his spruced-up, red, white and blue bike, with flags, had a God Bless America sticker on the front. Just wanted to remind people of what's really important. Without God, we're lost, because all our blessings come from him. Amazing how man can mess things up.
We were wound up last night, and it was hot. Hubby wanted ice cream, so we drove to a nearby town having a Pig Roast, knowing they were scooping ice cream. Ended up with root beer floats. Yum. We were still energized, so rode our bikes past the Freedom Festival activities, over to the Tourist Park Campground to see their lighting contest. Ha ha. Mostly we just saw a bunch of partying people. Our boy just wanted to play on the playground.
While out, I saw a man pushing his wife about in a wheel chair. At least she gets out. Here we are, celebrating freedom, with two dads stuck in a nursing home. They are not free, but stuck in miserable decline. Neither can't handle getting out of there without distress. There's no freedom with Alzheimers and Dementia. How awful to be trapped.
Today, we're going to a Tea Party event to hear some speakers. A Grand Parade takes place this afternoon, and fireworks tonight. It will be a long day.
We are also getting ready for a yard sale. So, I can commiserate with you in the basement, Bobbie. Hurry up down there, so you can get on the boat.
Hope you are enjoying what you can of summer. Hugs, all!
SS, It sounds like you are having a good weekend. I'm so glad for you. You have that wonderful boy to love and enjoy. Yes, it's tough having two dads in a NH. But you are doing all you can for them. Mom's doc says there will be a cure for Alzheimer's but not in our lifetimes. So sad.
bobbie, what's gross in the basement? Ya know this is a gross thread so we gotta know. ;)
Pirate, Pamela, and all. Have a really good day. Love yous!!
Mornin' ladies. Wow the 4th parties are already starting in your neck of the woods...that's nice! I have my Uncle Sam Blowmold still on my porch from Memorial Day, guess he will stay out there until the 4th. He holds a flag in his hand Gee sometimes I get really depressed when I read the titles of some of the posts on here. Last year when I first joined they seemed a whole lot different.
Happy Saturday Cgivers, Nurse was with mom so hubby & I took an us day yesterday. Went to the county park & photoed birds & such all day. Got in a 3 mile hike too. It was HOT but we had a little breeze. Saw an elderly couple on the trail looking for the osprey. Hub & I gave up our bench & left before they got back so they could stop & check the heron rookery. The man was having a rough go of it & may be his last trip out from what I could see. Sad, but good to see they knew what was important....God's gifts of nature & each other. That will probably be hub & I in another 30 yrs. if we are fortunate enough. Our favorite swan pair lost all nine signets (babies). Sad also but from what we could see they were trying again. lol. Quite the mating ritual!!!!! Neither one of us slept well the night before and since my Marine insists on a 4am revilie on photo days; we were back home & tucked in by the cat at 7pm. Slept 12 hours!!!!!!! I suppose we got a little heat stroke. Oops! Pirate, Thanks for the encouragement regarding cranky mom. It was a real shot in the arm I really needed. New day today & starting over with her again this afternoon. SS, So glad you have your blessed son & husband to give you diversion. We fight the good fight with GOD's help. Miz, Hope your friend's visit was a joyous one. Must have been plenty to talk of after a year apart. B321, Hope there were no nasty surprises in your basement & that cleaning was uneventful. The mundane is under-rated. Mundane can be a huge blessing as we all know tooooooo well. Harde, Hope you had a great camp & returned envigorated & unscaithed. Have a blessed day all.
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and came around when u hear gma is in her last stage and find it sad .
yep everything is sad gross and funny . we need our bobbie to cheer us up , shes one hellva lady i ever met and she is soooo speical to us all . we lean on to eachother everyday
so dont come on this thread and say that we are horible . cuz we are not !!
u sound like one of our siblings so u have no clue or no idea what we al go thru . leave this post and go find another one to say waa waaa .
am sorry for ur gma . sounds like shes on her way out . but hope she bounces back .
watch what u say girl cuz we sailors aint putting up with people like u .
my sailors !! im leavin tmr horray , camping time yippy ! i askpa if he s going tomiss me he said ohyes i already missing you . my sis in law said what ya think about her going ? he said oh she needs to go and have a good time . aww bless his heart . i love my pa !!!! i gonna miss him ! justonly 3 days . then when i get home it will be like i never left ! grrr hate that .
am hoping and prayin pa be all good and ok while im gone . i fear for a ph call while im half way there or just got there ?? think ill shut my ph off . prayin i get to have a good time and no worries and pray like hell my daddy s gonna be happy poo man . xoxo u all !
ill be canoing and thinkin bobbies boat , :-)
I was in a canoe one time with a fat lady. I was no delicate flower myself so with physics being what it is and the planets lining up (wind, current & speedboat wake) we took a roll. The amazing thing to me is that I didn't let go of my beer.
Linda, Thank you my baby girl for the love. You have as much fun as you all can stand and your pa is a sweetheart and give him a kiss for me. He's gonna be ok so you can have some fun!!
SS, love you much EJ!
Miz: you animal you. well said all of it.
Pirate: sgt at arms.
Deef: diplomat
Godhelps: and you gave her a hug because you are a good person and as we all do, we try to reach out.
I did look up her profile and this is the only thread EC has posted on. It makes me worried that she (it is a she is it not?) is in a terrible amount of pain to lash out like that. Or something else because she's not posted anywhere else to get help.
When mom was dying I told the mayor of the town where she had her bookstore..... Well, i can't print it here, but it was awful and I felt bad afterwards. She had just got up on my bad nerve.
OK: moving forward. We have a good crew and we grow together.
I'm off to tackle the BASEMENT.....not the BASEMENT!!! noooooohhhhh...!
Have to wait for the pool guys to come out and install a new light and then I can fill it the rest of the way. Meanwhile since I can't run the filter (water level too low) every leaf, seed and everything else is fallin in the pool. Tear my a$$ in half and people tell me to join a gym. ya right.
Have to treat the hinges for the kitchen cabinets so we can put the doors up. All hardware is solid copper (original when i dismantled the cabinets) and I'm going to give it the chemical bath to turn it verdigris and then seal it with a lacquer (sp?). Then kitchen is Finished!!
In other words I am keeping myself as busy as I can and I miss mom like crazy but I am becoming less selfish because I realize that she is not suffering anymore. And I know she's here with me because of that Dolphin!! nutz crying again.
i'll check in later, love you guys,
lovbob
p.s. everythingchanges.... you can give us another try if you want to. At least now you know what NOT to say lol.....
Linda, you have fun, fun, fun camping and canoeing. Make it a joy-filled adventure, cuz we need to hear stories like that.
Miz, you and hubby are looking dandy in those pics I saw recently. Hope you're having a lovely summer. Hugs!
My litte shipmate is strumming his ukulele, having bought a cord book this morning. He's serenading the grandpas and residents at the nursing home, when he's not playing piano for them. ~My precious son! Just took him out to some yard sales with me. That's our favorite summer activity, cept for the beach, which he's begging to go to. Maybe later. It's a gorgeous summer day on the lakes today: Charlevoix, Round, Michigan, and Walloon. Bobbie, we're waiting at the dock! When are you coming? Well have to find some appropriate music to christen the Barbara B. Get on the boat!!!
I'm a saint in progress but not there yet. The hug I gave everythingchanges was more like a slap but figured what I had to tell her was better off not publicly posted. I was as diplomatic and compassionate as I can get under those circumstances but it wasn't pretty. Similar to what others wrote I'm afraid. I'm not perfect by a long shot. Just ill advised and really bad timing on her part set us all off. She didn't know and she won't understand until she has to go through it. So often we don't realize what we're doing/saying until we offend.
We can manage some wild contortions to save those beers can't we? A question of priorities!!! lol
SS,
I'm at a loss dear. We wish so badly to help you. I'll keep praying for GOD's protection & deliverance for you in this battle.
lharde,
Enjoy your trip. If you tip make sure you save the beer!!! lol
My mom, my mom, my mom is back to her hateful, vindictive and spiteful self again. I guess I should be grateful for the week she was nice since she came back from the NH. She had me jumping all week but it was OK as long as she was human. Apparently she got a visit from the devil last night and he reminded her how she's supposed to act.
We went shopping for a motorized lift chair today. I should have gone alone but thought she should make the decision. My mistake. She needs the chair now as she is getting skin grafts on her feet & keeps falling asleep in her chair which makes her feet swell.....blah blah. Well her royal highness didn't like the nice microfiber material and had to special order a diff. material at an added cost of $100 and a 6-8 week wait. AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! That was just one of the multitude of surprises she had in store for me today. GOD bless her hard little heart!
His grace is new every day but I'm having a beer to help end this one.
Don't you dare be sorry for expressing your feelings!
You're the sweet heart!
I thought you made a well written response to it all. And I thought you were nice about it!
Walk a mile, blah blah in my flip flops.....hee hee
I hear you about making an errand really more difficult.
Ya, I learned to just go out and handle stuff without any extra goofiness.
Didn't have the energy.
Love to SS... can't tell you what I said to the mayor. Tell you in person some day.
Have a blast Linda,
nite nite
lovbob
When I had to take mom to an appointment, on the way home, she would go off for whatever reason. I used to literally stop my car, get out, and scream (things got that bad!). Once, I called a taxi, and was going to have mom pay for it, but it was $75 to go 10 miles, so I got back in and drove her home. I couldn't wait to get away from her, and didn't want to sit around for an hour waiting for the taxi to show up. Only someone who's experienced the horrors of a mother out-of-control can relate. Ask Pirategal.
I am relieved things have changed. We all breathe easier knowing we don't have to tolerate her abuse 3-5 times per week anymore. Sis moved away on purpose, and likes to keep it that way. Once a year is more than enough for her to visit. Mom doesn't know why sis moved, or why she is so "busy." I know full well. The golden child gets all the praise, though. Ugh! Don't know who is more wicked. Guess who gets the work? Well, many of you know how that works. Right, Miz?
So, godhelpus, why do you think she flip flops? Disease process, or what? How long has this cycle been going?
love,
miz
Thanks. I did eventually remember why I quit taking mom shopping today. I won't get into that trap again. Took me by surprise she did.
I figured she had something up her sleeve. She had been so sweet for a whole week.....too long.
When we got back I was redressing her foot wounds, filling her meds & checking her blood sugar when the cable guy got there & I had to clean out the entertainment chest so he could get behind it. The one thing I haven't gotten to clean & it had to be done today!!! I was trying so hard to get out of there so I wouldn't blow my stack. Of course mom is a hoarder so it was packed with crap and I made another mess cleaning it out. I didn't scream but I did curse plenty before I was done and able to leave.
I haven't had to pull the car over yet like you have so I guess I should count my blessings. I am grateful for the one week I did have. God give us stregnth and stamina.
Miz, you come on down there's plenty of room but pool still not filled up (waiting for light part) but will be good in a few days.
SS and Godhelps you hang in. This is tough, no bones about it. I am still surprised that I am alone when I wake in the morning.
The stillness and loneliness isn't fun, nor is all the legal work, paperwork and heavy lifting. ow back hurts.
AND I know exactly what you mean by 'stopping the car'...
You ladies take care and I'll make some coffee and feel better in a minute. (sad)
I hope everybody has a better day and yay for Linda! Hopefully she's not in a canoe with a fat lady........
Check in in a bit.
lovbob
Miz, I'd join you poolside, in a heartbeat, if possible. Actually, my mind is trying to make this happen, or get on the boat, or...something! You ladies don't know how many times I wish I could just get in the car and start driving. But, the details...keep me grounded...for the moment.
love,
miz
God bless each and every Caregiver, and your loved ones, and all that lies ahead. Hugs to you in your difficulties.
The doctor took mom off of two medicines saying it may possible improve her memory, but I can't see any difference now. Voice is still scratchy, and breathing is not normal. A total turn around but still we go on.
Yes I say God bless each and every caregiver, and your loved ones, and all that lies ahead as well.
Harde....you have a great vacation camping - even if it was for 3 days. I have not gone on a vacation for the past 11 years cause I could never leave town due to mommy dearest. Just don't go camping in between two steep cliffs and get RAINED OUT!!!! (like that horrible thing we heard about in the news = flash flood). Don't worry your pappy will be okay while you are gone!!!!
SecSis - Yep I remember going through lots of hell last year and the year before. The meds really helped once it got established. I thought I was never going to get out of hell with her. She is so slowed down now. So quiet and soft. I love it and trully feel even more sympathetic now. It's so much easier when they are little old ladies. She finally has become that nice little old lady...I cannot believe it. Last night I was laying on the bed next to my mom [my parents had 2 twin beds pushed next to each other and made up like one bed with the top cover...lol ;-) ] and was watching the Food Channel (the only channel she watches, unless she's watching along with me in the kitchen when I have CNN on and I am screaming at it about corrupt politicians and the gulf oil disaster) and it was kinda nice. I think I will do that more with her, gotta figure out if I can get the VCR next to the tv to work.
Godhelpus...just hang in there.....what about psych meds? Or is she still just too defiant.
Yes Sec Sis and Godhelpus,...check this out...I now take care of the outside at my mom's house and I stand in the place where she used to water. Five years ago she was standing in those same spots screaming at the neighbor across the street and obscene things as well and that's when she was 81. Glad that is all over, never thought I would make it. I stood looking at this woman for the past 11 years wondering when it would be over. She was so domineering. Not now. I kept wondering when was that old person that is sweet and docile and helpless ever going to appear and it was year after year after year, after my dad died. After 5 years I kept wondering when, after 8 and 9 years I kept wondering WHEN! She is a tough woman, always was. Now I can see a frail woman that is slowly going blind and hardly eating much and sleeping a lot. I almost take care of her like a baby now...it's nice. I don't scream and yell and have fights with her. I only have to raise my voice if she doesn't understand me. And just think a few months ago she was still acting up. But not now her time has finally come when time has come. I really thought she would be horrible to the end, but nope, the path in life took a different bend. But it also could be the meds, but heck I rather have a nice and quiet mom, than a overbearing personality that I once had to deal with. I don't know where this road will go but I am gently walking down that path with her now.
I'm getting tired. Was up too late last night. Gonna go have a smoke and hit the hay. Got lots to do tomorrow. Bestest friend is gonna be in town. I've known her forever and I mean that literally. She and her husband are going to come over tomorrow night and sit on the porch with us and have drinks. We don't have the new patio furniture yet (that I ordered from Wal-Mart) but we gots two new tables. It's got an eclectic look now. Old as the hills duct taped rusted out furniture with two new talbes. :)
love yas!!
miz
ya, pirate I know what you are experiencing. Mom and I had some great times when the yelling stopped. I used to lay up in bed with her and watch the tube too.
I was never able to work for a big company because I am retarded. Just as soon tell someone to go pee up a rope than 'how's this work?'. HATE lousy management. And don't get me started on BP those greedy pigs.
Love ya Miz, hang in with your sweet mom. Bet the patio looks great. duct tape and all and enjoy your friends. Good stuff.
Pamela: hard for real young people to deal with real old people. Ya it's a cop out but if he stays then you have to look at the puss. Sometimes easier when they just get up and leave, especially if he's a layabout. My heart goes out to you because I know you'd like some kind of support.
OK everybody it's Saturday and I have to do the BASEMENT. I keep putting it off because it's.......wait for it.......... GROSS!!!!
lovbob
Miz, hope you're having fun with your friends. Real ones don't care what kind of furniture you have.
Hope lhardebeck is having fun.
My boy entered the local youth parade yesterday as: "Little boy on bike celebrating God-given freedom." He wore a political shirt for a candidate, and ended up getting lumped in with them, and they did not announce his slogan. But his spruced-up, red, white and blue bike, with flags, had a God Bless America sticker on the front. Just wanted to remind people of what's really important. Without God, we're lost, because all our blessings come from him. Amazing how man can mess things up.
We were wound up last night, and it was hot. Hubby wanted ice cream, so we drove to a nearby town having a Pig Roast, knowing they were scooping ice cream. Ended up with root beer floats. Yum. We were still energized, so rode our bikes past the Freedom Festival activities, over to the Tourist Park Campground to see their lighting contest. Ha ha. Mostly we just saw a bunch of partying people. Our boy just wanted to play on the playground.
While out, I saw a man pushing his wife about in a wheel chair. At least she gets out. Here we are, celebrating freedom, with two dads stuck in a nursing home. They are not free, but stuck in miserable decline. Neither can't handle getting out of there without distress. There's no freedom with Alzheimers and Dementia. How awful to be trapped.
Today, we're going to a Tea Party event to hear some speakers. A Grand Parade takes place this afternoon, and fireworks tonight. It will be a long day.
We are also getting ready for a yard sale. So, I can commiserate with you in the basement, Bobbie. Hurry up down there, so you can get on the boat.
Hope you are enjoying what you can of summer. Hugs, all!
bobbie, what's gross in the basement? Ya know this is a gross thread so we gotta know. ;)
Pirate, Pamela, and all. Have a really good day. Love yous!!
miz
Gee sometimes I get really depressed when I read the titles of some of the posts on here. Last year when I first joined they seemed a whole lot different.
Nurse was with mom so hubby & I took an us day yesterday. Went to the county park & photoed birds & such all day. Got in a 3 mile hike too. It was HOT but we had a little breeze. Saw an elderly couple on the trail looking for the osprey. Hub & I gave up our bench & left before they got back so they could stop & check the heron rookery. The man was having a rough go of it & may be his last trip out from what I could see. Sad, but good to see they knew what was important....God's gifts of nature & each other. That will probably be hub & I in another 30 yrs. if we are fortunate enough. Our favorite swan pair lost all nine signets (babies). Sad also but from what we could see they were trying again. lol. Quite the mating ritual!!!!!
Neither one of us slept well the night before and since my Marine insists on a 4am revilie on photo days; we were back home & tucked in by the cat at 7pm. Slept 12 hours!!!!!!! I suppose we got a little heat stroke. Oops!
Pirate,
Thanks for the encouragement regarding cranky mom. It was a real shot in the arm I really needed. New day today & starting over with her again this afternoon.
SS,
So glad you have your blessed son & husband to give you diversion. We fight the good fight with GOD's help.
Miz,
Hope your friend's visit was a joyous one. Must have been plenty to talk of after a year apart.
B321,
Hope there were no nasty surprises in your basement & that cleaning was uneventful. The mundane is under-rated. Mundane can be a huge blessing as we all know tooooooo well.
Harde,
Hope you had a great camp & returned envigorated & unscaithed.
Have a blessed day all.