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Dear Miz, in her heart of hearts, she knows you. She knows she's safe, and loved. Confusion is a robber, but her heart cannot lie! God bless you for being such a wonderful daughter! And the patience thing is overrated. I'm sure your mom lost hers at some point when you were little. We all do, so don't kick yourself, or give it another thought. Get you some rest, and that will help you, sweetheart. You are under pressure, and are feeling it. Don't let your emotions get the better of you. Know you are also loved, and completely accepted here, by those of us who have the privilege of your friendship.
Focus on the love you have for your mom; nothing else. Please don't dwell so much on what your mom says, as much as your love and devotion to her. She needs you, and trusts you. That's all that matters. I am proud of you for being her angel. Guard your heart, and give it to Jesus. He sees your deeds, and will reward you openly. Take care, sweetie. I'm praying for you and sending hugs!
Bobbie321, you are a trooper! I admire your diligence. No sitting around, feeling sorry for you. So glad you have some help, and don't have to tackle the whole project alone. Praise God for the treasures you find along the way, and for the ones in your heart that will remain.
howdy sailors . miz im sorry ur mom didnt know who u were this morning . :-( she smiles at you cuz she can tell ure a good person and she trusted u . bless you guys ! . took pa to dr this am . got blood work and chest xray, tmr he s going to the hospital for a swallowing test . no food or drinks after midnight . he wanted to go somewhere to pig out , daughter and i wasnt in mood to go there cuz he s hollarin a bit . told him tmr we ll go cuz i know he be starving tmr . he had mcdonald this am for bfast then left the dr s office he whine im hungry so took him to wendys for bacon cheeseburger and a frosty . now he s passed out . oh we got him a better wheelchair too . kinda dont like it cuz its heavy for me to pick it up but he said oh this is comfty , guess thats ok for me to lift that heavy ass thing to put in and out of the van . as long as my pa is comfty im happy . the old wheelchair belong to my stepmom and it cuts pa s elbow everytime he gets in it . fed up with it and got him a diffrent one . s.s i dont know if u believe this or not . seems like when one of the family members pass away ya got 2 more to pass away . always in the 3 s . sometime not but it seems like it always falls on the 3 and then dont get anymore for a long time and bam 3 more to go . sux !.. my aunt mary passed away last year i thought for sure pa was going to join her but he didnt . i thought he was going to join step mom 2 yrs ago but he didnt , thought he was going to join my brother almost 3 yrs ago but he didnt . i guess its all up to the lord . s.s im sorry u hated going to nursing home and havin a heart aches , now ure confuse about bringin him home and care for him . it might do u some good to be able to spend extra more time with him at home than in nh . but then again it might not be good , causes more heart ache to watch him at home . i keep my dad home so i know whats going on . he dont get the lovin care at nh theyre all strangers to him and its just a paycheck for them and they dont love my pa . i tell ya , it is not too bad cuz pa loves to sleep , theres time s he stay up 2 nights in a row starin at the tv , ready for bed pa ? noooo im watching tv ! oh ok ill lay on the couch so u hollar when ure ready for bed . but he never hollars , i wake up 4 am he s still watching tv . gotta go pee pa ? noooooo ready for bed pa ? nooooo . then he is hungry . it is a pleasure to keep him home with me . when he s at rehab i worry sick about him but he comes home im happy but its hell sometimes . maybe u should bring dad home and it may give u peace of mind . maybe ur dad wants to come home . or it could be the meds hes on to make him zombie ? pa s zombie alot of time when hes in rehab , lay his head on table tryin to eat , makes me so piss . sure they dont feed him ! that man loves to eat and i always try to be there when its time to eat so i can feed him when he s zombie . need hospital bed and need someone to show u how to do this and how to do that . its realy easy . i learn from my daughters and i have found a diffrent ways and they learn from me . dont wreck ur brain my friend . do what ur heart tells u . praying for you ..
bobbie glad ya found ya a man with a good hard back woohoo! now he can huff and puff up and down those stairs and sweat in 90 degree weather , oh lala . maybe he ll jump in the pool when the water fills up .
ok dreedin to take pa to hospital tmr for swallowing test , bet he will do a good job and they;ll find nuthing wrong with him . sometimes i think he cough and hack and choke for an attentions but again never know . so test tmr plz . will ck again later and do some laundry grrrr . xoox
Dad is on less meds than ever, now. His behaviors have staged down, and he's declined so, that he no longer resists care. The spunk is gone, except to resist walks with me, or go outside for Vit D. Bummer. Too much stimulus, or out of his comfort zone, or??? As for my home, that would be very hard on us, in this tiny place, filled with so much stuff. No extra beds, and the living room (what's left after furniture) would barely hold a bed and place for the rest of us to walk about. Not practical, feasible, and don't want to have to entertain mom, either. Wishing is one thing, but it all comes down to practicality. If they told me, 2 more days, I would consider a temporary move with hospice. To allow him to die, surrounded by loved ones and peace. Otherwise, I think he's getting the best care available, given the circumstances. That part is a blessing. Just hate Alzheimer's, though; stole my dad. Wonder when God will be ready for him? Till then, I'm so glad he's close (4 minutes away). Plan to go there in a few...
lhardebeck, those swallow tests are dumb. If he fails, do they suggest a feeding tube? FIL had one, but thankfully recovered his stroke, and started eating again. Guess it's better than death, if one wants artificial methods. Darn the decline!
My heart goes out to all. The trials sure feel big when we're in them. B321, God bless you for sharing your experience and your lovely heart. You are a blessing to all. Hope basement is a smooth chore. Miz, Praying that this is only a temp. recognition thing for you. Good days/bad days. Hope its just a bad day. SS, Praying you get some alone time with your dad to love & chat on each other. Lharde, Praying all goes well at the doc. Glad you were able to find a good chair for dad. Make sure you lift with your knees & not so much with your back. I'm sure you'll find a non-painful way to lift the chair. Tilt & slide? Bobbie, Thank you & God bless you dear heart.
Miz, Mom gets me mixed up with my sister, calls me her mother, says "where's Kathy?", that's me, and has days where she thinks she's young again. She wakes up and says she just had a baby. I say I'm calling Oprah! Although it's sad when our parents no longer recognize us, it can be a blessing too. When I lose my patience with her, she calls me Eileen, my older sister's name. I told my sister when she comes for 3 weeks in July, to be prepared for Mom to remind her of being nasty to her, even though she hasn't seen her for a year! She thinks I'm her mother when I tuck her in at night, and wants to know why her friends are picking on her at school. Just go along with it. Don't take it personally, because she can't help it. It's all a part of the process. And yes, there will be times when she does know you. Take advantage of them. Bobbie, Good to see you have help. Can't imagine you having to go through all that cleaning on your own. I actually got to go out to eat with former co-workers from Old Sturbridge Village. Some I hadn't seen for a year. We had a nice time. Linda, Mom's Parkinson's sometimes causes her to have problems swallowing, but when she's hungry, she can scarf down anything without trouble. She seems to have the most trouble swallowing when she is having an anxiety attack. Hope your dad does well with the test. SS hang in there. You are doing all you can for your dad. Everyone have a great day!
I'm tackling some paperwork, while waiting on annuity company to complete Probate's request, so I can finish my annual report, and be free of paperwork with them. SSA still waiting for report, which all hinges on them, as well, but they're all waiting for me to perform for them. No one understands the circus-like duplicity we have to face, on the bureaucratic level (including them), unless they've done it. I'm weary of it, and still have much basement cleaning to do myself. No wonder my dad couldn't keep up once the Alzheimer's kicked in (not that he was ever 100%). The court just demands, and doesn't understand, and neither do the other federal agencies. When they start pointing to family members, it's a complicated mess. Right, Austin?
Dad was sleeping when I visited, but opened his eyes, and smiled at me. That helped. He closed them again, so our visit was short. But I got some good news, they have decreased his anti-psychotic medications again. Since he's no longer resisting care, and no longer showing aggressive tendencies, they can relax the meds a bit. Poor soul, with life happening to him. It makes me grieve for his helplessness.
I tried telling him that I saw his sisters and brothers, by naming them one by one. He said "all of them?" I didn't tell him about his brother-in-law's funeral, just about seeing them. I cannot discern whether he understands anything I'm saying. CNAs don't help. They just seem to want to tell me the PC answers. Sickening process. Just give it to me straight. Between 'the system' and my family, I feel like I'm walking the gauntlet. Where to turn; who to trust? Ugh, aaaaaahhh! Sometimes the best I can do is say, "Lord, help me!" Trying to make sense of the mess seems futile. Ultimately, God is in control, and only he truly understands.
SS, that is really all we can do is say "Lord, help me!" Yes, God is in control and he does understand. He knows what kind of a person you are and he knows what you are going through. You handle it with such grace. I really admire you for that. Alz is such a horrible disease. It's heart breaking. I'm sure you are a comfort to your dad. We're with ya, sweetie. :)
deefer, thanks so much for the advise and stories about your mom. I went along with Mom when she asked me what my name was, and what her name was, etc. I see how making a big deal about it would be very upsetting to her. She DID call me by name last night. :))
Hi Ladies, How are things? Yes I saw mom slow down in the past several months, it has been kinda a blessing due to no more arguements. But I tell ya I get more pissed off at the darn caregiver. I had bought a brand new magazine and had laid it on the living room table. Next time I came over it was gone. I know my mom did not take it. I know the caregiver got into it, I could not find it anywhere, and I was writing a really long nasty list to the caregiver and then my mom found it stuffed between the couch and the bookcase...the caregiver. So I threw all my nasty notes away and just left a longwinded message to her supervisor. I told her to tell her to STOP touching anything that is not hers and leave everything in it's place. If you want to use something put it BACK where you found it. I hate wasting time after work or weekends reputting back the house...I have to reput back so many things...why can she not put them back exactly where I have things? So lets see if a talking to from her supervisor will HELP. I hate how she back mouths me...no there is no powder on the bathroom floor...I finally got fed up and wiped it all off myself...it was at the edges of the room at the tile crevices and on the toliet paper dispenser....yeah no nothing is on floor! I am going over there shortly....let's see what I find. My mom doesnt want her to get into trouble and I understand that...but her zannyness is driving me crazy. Sorry if I sound too ANAL and longwinded...lol!
ask for another caregiver . i know i would , why have someone in ur life that just makes ya upset , u dont need that . u need sara ! bobbies helper . keep on lookin till u find the one that u welcome her in ur daily lives . took pa to hosp for swallowing test . lady there said he did good ! i thoughtin back of my mind ure kiddin ! deefer , i agree with you i think thats whats wrong with my dad . sometimes i think its all for attention but then again maybe not . took him to china buffeet he was happy camper . ate and made a lit bit of noise . i told him before we went inside that we dont take him out to much cuz you make all kinds of noises ! lasttime we went we ha dto get him outta there before somebody calls 911 . told him plzzzzzzzzzzzzz dont do that in there . so he did ok but lit noise . not like the last time . came home daughter , dad and i passed out for 3 hrs ! lord what a day . then i had to leave again to go get grocries . i didnt want to do that with dad no way , takin him in the van and out of van is what drains us out . go home and take a nap . :-) you all have a good evening !
I understand completely about the caregiver. I feel like a visitor in my own home. I have to search for things constantly. I get so frustrated just trying to cook a meal at night since the caregiver of the day has put up the utensils, pots or casserole dish in the wrong place. I've started with a new agency recently but I'm still finding odd things. One doesn't know that the quilted side of the incontinence pad for the bed goes face-up. The other put my mothers bra on her inside out. And lastly, one thinks she should "organize" all my stuff in little boxes and plastic containers. I try to keep my cool because the intent is good, just not the right way.
Miz, I am sorry your mom didn't know you. My mom gets very confused if she is awakened when she is dozing in her recliner. She can go off on wild stories and ask where I am and stuff. I have to give her a little bit and she gets herself cleared up, or at least most of the time.
Bobbie, I am glad you are getting help with these tasks. I wish I had reliable help with all my projects. I complain about this, yet I am so fortunate compared to so many of you. My old mom is gone, but who sheis today is in much better condition than what so many of you are facing each day. I will keep you each in my prayers everyday.
My brother and his wife are in town so I have been taking mom to visit them each night since they are staying with their son this time. THat is why I haven't been online much lately. I try to read each night, but the last few nights I was just too tired.
Take care SS, Miz, Bobbie321, Bobbie, godhelpus, deefer, ihard and anyone I've left out. Be kind to yourselves and nuture yourselves like you do your loved ones.
Some birthday present!! Merry's 60th birthday is today, and what a mess she walked into! When I got Mom out of bed this morning, she smelled like a barn full of animals. So I put her in the shower to get pretty smelling. Unfortunately, she sh@# all over the shower and left me with more of a mess. After I cleaned everything up, I gave her a haircut and curled her hair too. Now it's nice and short and easy to do. Poor Merry came at 11:00 and found me holding Mom's hands to keep her from pulling her pants down. She had a huge mess in them! So Merry had to help clean her while I held onto her hands so she wouldn't make things worse. The grossness never ends, it just gets worse! Merry is a trooper and smiled through the whole process. She does not work for an agency, and will cook and do light housework. She does put things back where they came from, and often cooks meals for Mom when she is at her home. If you have someone through an agency, check to make sure exactly what their duties are. Most of them do allow for light housework and cooking. They really should respect your area and put things back where they belong. Pirate, Powder on the floor is a big cause for injury. If she must use so much on your mom, she should clean it up, or your mom's homeowner insurance might be paying compensation to the aide when she falls on the bathroom floor. I would definitely talk to the agency about her.
and the powder always takes my breath away too , i just sprinkle a lit bit , too much is too much ! i cant breath ! i often thought about babies , poor babies ! i can only imagin how much they gasp for air cuz thier lit lungs so are small , elders theyre just barely breathin . i would be getting rid of that powder . hope u find u another merry or sara . :-)
Speaking of Agencies I found out our helper isn't even working through the Agency the majority of the time, she's being paid directly. That's another story though.
Pirate, I agree with you 100% . It can really drive ya nuts. Our caregiver is wonderful. She takes great care of Mom and does some cleaning. But she loves to put things away and straighten up things. She says to call her if I can't find something. LOL I guess there is no perfect one out there and I just take the great with the other stuff. I think what we do is hard enough that things can really drive us crazy.
Mom seems to know me now so maybe it was an isolated incident for now. We just tried to go out to lunch with her really good friends but Mom had to leave the restaurant to come home and lay down after about a half hour so I got to go boxes and paid our bill and brought her home. Very sad. Made me feel down and stuff. Gotta go to a nursing home later and see my friend from across the street. Poor thing. I wish she could go home but it's just not possible. Her roommate has alz and can not talk and just lays there and cries. Maybe I'll wait and go tomorrow, I don't know. Hubby takes care of her yard for her and she owes him some money for that. Man, I feel like I do everything myself. I let the family know about Mom not knowing me. Just thought they should know. Been looking for a part time job. No interviews yet. Sorry I'm such a downer. Anyone know how to get rid of fruit flies in the house?
Miz, don't worry about being a downer. You aren't. In fact, you are one of many of the wonderfully supportive and compassionate ones on here. What I'm reading, though, is you're concerned about "dumping" your feelings of grief and frustration. We understand. Feel free to vent, vent, vent. That's what we're here for! You're safe here, so go for it! I'm sure you'd be giving us the same advice. Let it out, sweetheart! And know you're not alone. We know how emotionally draining Caregiving is, and how it feels to experience it, remember? And we're here to support you, and pray for you. Sending hugs, as well.
hi pamela ! good to hear from you , hows ur mom ? better i hope . s.s youre right this is a place to vent out . so miz you shouldnt feel bad about venting out , pourin ur heart out is good for you ! im down in the dump today too i wanted to go yard sales this morning but i cant go . hauling dad around yesterday was like lifting 140 pounds baby . too much for me . down in the dump to hear somebody going off on a vacation and realy have a good time and im stuck at home . last weekend i went camping and it went by too damn fast for me to even remmy what i did ! . zoom back home already felt like i havent left . fruit flies are a nightmare they just keep muliplying . i have no clue how to getrid of it other than wait for winter to roll in . wheres bobbie . need her here to put a smile on our face ! guess i ll go take a nap . maybe ill wake up and be in better mood . ya think ? miz hope ur mom feels better after takin her nap . must be the hot weather that drained her out fast . xoxo
you know you can say anything you want. You just express your feelings and don't fret. What you're experiencing is really really tough and you know that I know.
Working our butts off, helper and me.
Finally filling pool and arranging back yard. Basement about 1/3 done, but most of the gross stuff has been removed.
lhardebeck, thanks so much. I think you and I are in the same "boat" so to speak. Not much freedom AT ALL. It'll drive ya crazy if ya let it. Mom poops out very easily. She has for quite awhile now. I think it's her weak heart and probably the alz. I enjoy her friends so I hated to leave but I sure don't want something to happen to Mom if we stayed longer. They are very understanding. They're Mom's best friends. I love them too. :) Just think about the boat, sweetie.
SS, you're such a dear. What would I do without you? I hate to think of it. I'm so grateful for this site and that I met you all on here. :) All of yous. Such a blessing.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Focus on the love you have for your mom; nothing else. Please don't dwell so much on what your mom says, as much as your love and devotion to her. She needs you, and trusts you. That's all that matters. I am proud of you for being her angel. Guard your heart, and give it to Jesus. He sees your deeds, and will reward you openly. Take care, sweetie. I'm praying for you and sending hugs!
Can't wait to see you on the boat!!!
miz im sorry ur mom didnt know who u were this morning . :-( she smiles at you cuz she can tell ure a good person and she trusted u . bless you guys ! .
took pa to dr this am . got blood work and chest xray, tmr he s going to the hospital for a swallowing test . no food or drinks after midnight . he wanted to go somewhere to pig out , daughter and i wasnt in mood to go there cuz he s hollarin a bit . told him tmr we ll go cuz i know he be starving tmr . he had mcdonald this am for bfast then left the dr s office he whine im hungry so took him to wendys for bacon cheeseburger and a frosty . now he s passed out .
oh we got him a better wheelchair too . kinda dont like it cuz its heavy for me to pick it up but he said oh this is comfty , guess thats ok for me to lift that heavy ass thing to put in and out of the van . as long as my pa is comfty im happy . the old wheelchair belong to my stepmom and it cuts pa s elbow everytime he gets in it . fed up with it and got him a diffrent one .
s.s i dont know if u believe this or not . seems like when one of the family members pass away ya got 2 more to pass away . always in the 3 s . sometime not but it seems like it always falls on the 3 and then dont get anymore for a long time and bam 3 more to go . sux !..
my aunt mary passed away last year i thought for sure pa was going to join her but he didnt . i thought he was going to join step mom 2 yrs ago but he didnt , thought he was going to join my brother almost 3 yrs ago but he didnt . i guess its all up to the lord .
s.s im sorry u hated going to nursing home and havin a heart aches , now ure confuse about bringin him home and care for him . it might do u some good to be able to spend extra more time with him at home than in nh . but then again it might not be good , causes more heart ache to watch him at home . i keep my dad home so i know whats going on . he dont get the lovin care at nh theyre all strangers to him and its just a paycheck for them and they dont love my pa . i tell ya , it is not too bad cuz pa loves to sleep , theres time s he stay up 2 nights in a row starin at the tv , ready for bed pa ? noooo im watching tv ! oh ok ill lay on the couch so u hollar when ure ready for bed . but he never hollars , i wake up 4 am he s still watching tv . gotta go pee pa ? noooooo ready for bed pa ? nooooo . then he is hungry . it is a pleasure to keep him home with me . when he s at rehab i worry sick about him but he comes home im happy but its hell sometimes .
maybe u should bring dad home and it may give u peace of mind . maybe ur dad wants to come home . or it could be the meds hes on to make him zombie ? pa s zombie alot of time when hes in rehab , lay his head on table tryin to eat , makes me so piss . sure they dont feed him ! that man loves to eat and i always try to be there when its time to eat so i can feed him when he s zombie .
need hospital bed and need someone to show u how to do this and how to do that . its realy easy . i learn from my daughters and i have found a diffrent ways and they learn from me .
dont wreck ur brain my friend . do what ur heart tells u . praying for you ..
bobbie glad ya found ya a man with a good hard back woohoo! now he can huff and puff up and down those stairs and sweat in 90 degree weather , oh lala . maybe he ll jump in the pool when the water fills up .
ok dreedin to take pa to hospital tmr for swallowing test , bet he will do a good job and they;ll find nuthing wrong with him . sometimes i think he cough and hack and choke for an attentions but again never know . so test tmr plz .
will ck again later and do some laundry grrrr . xoox
Sorry when it came into my email this a.m., I thought it was new. I'll be more watchful. Thanks for the heads-up.
lhardebeck, those swallow tests are dumb. If he fails, do they suggest a feeding tube? FIL had one, but thankfully recovered his stroke, and started eating again. Guess it's better than death, if one wants artificial methods. Darn the decline!
The trials sure feel big when we're in them.
B321,
God bless you for sharing your experience and your lovely heart. You are a blessing to all. Hope basement is a smooth chore.
Miz,
Praying that this is only a temp. recognition thing for you. Good days/bad days. Hope its just a bad day.
SS,
Praying you get some alone time with your dad to love & chat on each other.
Lharde,
Praying all goes well at the doc. Glad you were able to find a good chair for dad. Make sure you lift with your knees & not so much with your back. I'm sure you'll find a non-painful way to lift the chair. Tilt & slide?
Bobbie,
Thank you & God bless you dear heart.
She thinks I'm her mother when I tuck her in at night, and wants to know why her friends are picking on her at school. Just go along with it. Don't take it personally, because she can't help it. It's all a part of the process.
And yes, there will be times when she does know you. Take advantage of them.
Bobbie, Good to see you have help. Can't imagine you having to go through all that cleaning on your own. I actually got to go out to eat with former co-workers from Old Sturbridge Village. Some I hadn't seen for a year. We had a nice time.
Linda, Mom's Parkinson's sometimes causes her to have problems swallowing, but when she's hungry, she can scarf down anything without trouble. She seems to have the most trouble swallowing when she is having an anxiety attack. Hope your dad does well with the test.
SS hang in there. You are doing all you can for your dad.
Everyone have a great day!
bob321, hope your cleaning is going well.
I'm tackling some paperwork, while waiting on annuity company to complete Probate's request, so I can finish my annual report, and be free of paperwork with them. SSA still waiting for report, which all hinges on them, as well, but they're all waiting for me to perform for them. No one understands the circus-like duplicity we have to face, on the bureaucratic level (including them), unless they've done it. I'm weary of it, and still have much basement cleaning to do myself. No wonder my dad couldn't keep up once the Alzheimer's kicked in (not that he was ever 100%). The court just demands, and doesn't understand, and neither do the other federal agencies. When they start pointing to family members, it's a complicated mess. Right, Austin?
Dad was sleeping when I visited, but opened his eyes, and smiled at me. That helped. He closed them again, so our visit was short. But I got some good news, they have decreased his anti-psychotic medications again. Since he's no longer resisting care, and no longer showing aggressive tendencies, they can relax the meds a bit. Poor soul, with life happening to him. It makes me grieve for his helplessness.
I tried telling him that I saw his sisters and brothers, by naming them one by one. He said "all of them?" I didn't tell him about his brother-in-law's funeral, just about seeing them. I cannot discern whether he understands anything I'm saying. CNAs don't help. They just seem to want to tell me the PC answers. Sickening process. Just give it to me straight. Between 'the system' and my family, I feel like I'm walking the gauntlet. Where to turn; who to trust? Ugh, aaaaaahhh! Sometimes the best I can do is say, "Lord, help me!" Trying to make sense of the mess seems futile. Ultimately, God is in control, and only he truly understands.
love,
miz
love,
miz
love,
miz
How are things? Yes I saw mom slow down in the past several months, it has been kinda a blessing due to no more arguements. But I tell ya I get more pissed off at the darn caregiver. I had bought a brand new magazine and had laid it on the living room table. Next time I came over it was gone. I know my mom did not take it. I know the caregiver got into it, I could not find it anywhere, and I was writing a really long nasty list to the caregiver and then my mom found it stuffed between the couch and the bookcase...the caregiver. So I threw all my nasty notes away and just left a longwinded message to her supervisor. I told her to tell her to STOP touching anything that is not hers and leave everything in it's place. If you want to use something put it BACK where you found it. I hate wasting time after work or weekends reputting back the house...I have to reput back so many things...why can she not put them back exactly where I have things? So lets see if a talking to from her supervisor will HELP. I hate how she back mouths me...no there is no powder on the bathroom floor...I finally got fed up and wiped it all off myself...it was at the edges of the room at the tile crevices and on the toliet paper dispenser....yeah no nothing is on floor! I am going over there shortly....let's see what I find. My mom doesnt want her to get into trouble and I understand that...but her zannyness is driving me crazy. Sorry if I sound too ANAL and longwinded...lol!
took pa to hosp for swallowing test . lady there said he did good ! i thoughtin back of my mind ure kiddin !
deefer , i agree with you i think thats whats wrong with my dad . sometimes i think its all for attention but then again maybe not . took him to china buffeet he was happy camper . ate and made a lit bit of noise . i told him before we went inside that we dont take him out to much cuz you make all kinds of noises ! lasttime we went we ha dto get him outta there before somebody calls 911 . told him plzzzzzzzzzzzzz dont do that in there . so he did ok but lit noise . not like the last time .
came home daughter , dad and i passed out for 3 hrs ! lord what a day .
then i had to leave again to go get grocries . i didnt want to do that with dad no way , takin him in the van and out of van is what drains us out .
go home and take a nap . :-)
you all have a good evening !
I understand completely about the caregiver. I feel like a visitor in my own home. I have to search for things constantly. I get so frustrated just trying to cook a meal at night since the caregiver of the day has put up the utensils, pots or casserole dish in the wrong place. I've started with a new agency recently but I'm still finding odd things. One doesn't know that the quilted side of the incontinence pad for the bed goes face-up. The other put my mothers bra on her inside out. And lastly, one thinks she should "organize" all my stuff in little boxes and plastic containers. I try to keep my cool because the intent is good, just not the right way.
Miz, I am sorry your mom didn't know you. My mom gets very confused if she is awakened when she is dozing in her recliner. She can go off on wild stories and ask where I am and stuff. I have to give her a little bit and she gets herself cleared up, or at least most of the time.
Bobbie, I am glad you are getting help with these tasks. I wish I had reliable help with all my projects. I complain about this, yet I am so fortunate compared to so many of you. My old mom is gone, but who sheis today is in much better condition than what so many of you are facing each day. I will keep you each in my prayers everyday.
My brother and his wife are in town so I have been taking mom to visit them each night since they are staying with their son this time. THat is why I haven't been online much lately. I try to read each night, but the last few nights I was just too tired.
Take care SS, Miz, Bobbie321, Bobbie, godhelpus, deefer, ihard and anyone I've left out. Be kind to yourselves and nuture yourselves like you do your loved ones.
Di
Poor Merry came at 11:00 and found me holding Mom's hands to keep her from pulling her pants down. She had a huge mess in them! So Merry had to help clean her while I held onto her hands so she wouldn't make things worse. The grossness never ends, it just gets worse!
Merry is a trooper and smiled through the whole process. She does not work for an agency, and will cook and do light housework. She does put things back where they came from, and often cooks meals for Mom when she is at her home.
If you have someone through an agency, check to make sure exactly what their duties are. Most of them do allow for light housework and cooking. They really should respect your area and put things back where they belong.
Pirate, Powder on the floor is a big cause for injury. If she must use so much on your mom, she should clean it up, or your mom's homeowner insurance might be paying compensation to the aide when she falls on the bathroom floor. I would definitely talk to the agency about her.
i would be getting rid of that powder .
hope u find u another merry or sara . :-)
deefer , glad u mention about powders ,
love,
miz
love,
miz
s.s youre right this is a place to vent out . so miz you shouldnt feel bad about venting out , pourin ur heart out is good for you !
im down in the dump today too i wanted to go yard sales this morning but i cant go . hauling dad around yesterday was like lifting 140 pounds baby . too much for me .
down in the dump to hear somebody going off on a vacation and realy have a good time and im stuck at home . last weekend i went camping and it went by too damn fast for me to even remmy what i did ! .
zoom back home already felt like i havent left .
fruit flies are a nightmare they just keep muliplying . i have no clue how to getrid of it other than wait for winter to roll in .
wheres bobbie . need her here to put a smile on our face !
guess i ll go take a nap . maybe ill wake up and be in better mood . ya think ?
miz hope ur mom feels better after takin her nap . must be the hot weather that drained her out fast . xoxo
you know you can say anything you want. You just express your feelings and don't fret. What you're experiencing is really really tough and you know that I know.
Working our butts off, helper and me.
Finally filling pool and arranging back yard. Basement about 1/3 done, but most of the gross stuff has been removed.
you guys hang in there....
lovbob
love,
miz