Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Kuli, It's normal for the exhaustion to set in like that. It's your body finally getting to have your attention for a long overdo change. Peaceful dreams.
I've really enjoyed reading everyone's posts today and this evening. Here's to us all getting a good nights sleep. Nighty night!
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.' The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really,really hard on the top of its head The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.' A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blond woman timidly Spoke up.......... 'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the bottle!'
I already told (last year) the strange story which happened in May 2010. Last year in May and exactly May 8-9-10, a blackcap knocked at my mother's window for 3 days running. It was a constant tap-tap-tap with his little beak on the window. It was a boy (he had a black head). And after 3 days it disappeared ( I hope he has not been killed by my cats). I had never seen a bird behave like this in my life! And as my father had black hair and he died on May 9, I think it was "him" calling my mother and saying that it was time to go. If my father can see my mother now, he must be devastated for what she has become and he thinks it is enough! This is the interpretation I gave to the story of the blackcap.
I was in Starbuck's recently when I suddenly needed to fart. The music was really loud so I timed my fart with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel bett. I finished my coffee and noticed everyone was staring at me! And suddenly I remembered I was listening to my iPod.....
Oh CUZ!!! You have my husband in stitches. If he does laughing it will be your fault! But keep 'em coming - e are heavily insured.
Rosa - a blackcap is such a beautiful warbler - we don't have them here in the States - and that is certainly odd behavior for a bird, other than "The Raven" of course.
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.
FALL BACK TONIGHT! DST is over again. November 6 is officially the greatest day of the year because as Daylight Saving Time ends, we actually gain an hour -- and who doesn't need more time?
Yes, the days are getting shorter and you're probably waking up in darkness (and making your commute in it as well) -- but we gain an hour of sleep on Saturday night as Daylight Saving Time (DST) ends at 2 a.m. Sunday, Nov. 6 and Standard Time begins.
Set your clocks back tonight! November 6 is officially the greatest day of the year because as Daylight Saving Time ends, we actually gain an hour -- and who doesn't need more time?
We gain an hour of sleep on Saturday night as Daylight Saving Time (DST) ends at 2 a.m. Sunday, Nov. 6 and Standard Time begins.
Morning. Between the Cuz and 2 guys on tv, I spit a lot of coffee out on my jammies and white blanket this morning. Hubby asks, who is that guy and why does he tell jokes? And I say, it's Bobbie's Cuz, and he makes us laugh. He just shakes his head. He doesn't get it, my "double life". Haha! Slept through and woke up at 7:30. TG. I have been sensing all the earthquakes happening, so there is often that feeling of impending, uh, shaking? I don't want to be negative and say 'doom'. Dark cloud and all that. I guess all of us are used to it by now. Kuli: you are in the aftermath of caregiving that is scary to me. There is a double impact of recovery and grieving. I wish you peace and rest and healing sleep. Take good care and rebuild your immune system. Blessings to you. Thinking of all you wonderful caregivers. It's Rainy and the heat is on. Got go get some leggings and turtle necks over to my Mother today, keep her little legs and neck warm. Yesterday she said she didn't want to dream anymore: the random thoughts are bothering her. Strange how part of her brain is aware that the other parts are badgering her. We are going to try the lower dose Exelon again. Looks like a chicken noodle soup day, for comfort and prevention. Sound good? Love you, my friends. Have a good day. Christina xo
Morning, well afternoon now for me in FL. Cuz, the Starbucks story was a toot..oops I mean hoot! It's a beautiful day here today but that doesn't mean much here in FL cause the clouds can roll in and out again at any time. Not much exciting going on in my house today and I'm grateful for that.
Thanks for the post about recognizing strokes!! What great information and presented with an acronym to help us remember. I just loved it. I sent it out to others and I've been quizing my Hubby on it already today, lol
I hope everyone is doing good and staying warm. XOXO Cricket
Oh, it is a cold and wet day!!! Even in Southern California. We get a pretty mild version of what the east gets, and I cannot say "I know". I have been to New York in the winter, but it was a mild winter--2007--and heavenly. Yes, hubby is bundled up watching football--POOR THING!, and I fixed his breakfast while he watched (hands in pockets) ANNOYING!!! He did hang up the persian rug I was airing out and forgot to bring in before the rain. yikes. I am going to take Mother's warm clothes over now, then stop at the store to get a chicken and make the soup. Often, I do a quick version of a good Jewish recipe. Instead of cooking a raw chicken, I buy one already roasted, remove and save the white and dark meat except for the wings, put the carcass and skin into pot with chicken broth, celery leaves, 1 whole unpeeled onion stuck with 2 cloves, 10 peppercorns, bay leaf, 2 large cloves of garlic, smashed, good sprig of fresh Italian parsley, and simmer for 45 minutes. Then I strain it, put the broth back in pot, add diced potato, carrots and cook until almost done, add fine Kosher noodles, cook for 5 minutes, then add the dark meat chicken. I save the white meat for chicken salad or enchiladas. The chicken is already seasoned, but potatoes and noodles do soak up some of the salt--but not the sodium, so add salt to taste after it's finished--right, Cricket?! I will probably make cornbread today to go with it, but sometimes I make biscuits. Maybe I should have posted this on Nutrition site? It is very comforting and nutritious for Elder's, too. Mother loves it:D Stay warm, Dear Ones:) xoxoxo P.S.: I use a large can of S's chicken broth, but add water, too. This is usually enough for 6-8 servings. Use as many vegies as you like, or different ones, but I prefer a 'purist' version. For this amount I use 2 potatoes, 4 large carrots, 1 cup dry noodles--it is pretty thick.
Chris, thanks for the chicken soup recipe. I've never liked my own homemade Chicken noodle, so I will give your recipe a try sometime soon. I know this sounds very cornball, but we have a park in Columbia, Finlay Park, that collects a lot of homeless people. The soup kitchens don't serve on Sunday. I've been thinking of making some soup and cornbread (or even plain bread) and take it to the park on Sundays. I just thought it would put my head in a better place to know there are so many that have worse situations than I.
Mom has been in bed all day today again. She had me up and down all night too. I am at a loss as to what to do. All she complains about is generalized weakness. She has no fever, her BP and pulse rate are good, her coloring is good, no signs of bleeding and her glucose is good. I hope tomorrow the doc will have the urine culture back.
I posted some recipes on the Favorite Recipes thread. I listed a variety, so hopefully everyone will find something worth trying.
Have a good day my friends and I'll be thinking of you.
Thanks for the chicken soup recipe - it sounds wonderful and I am not a big soup fan unless i make it myself- which I rarely do. Husband and I went to photograph a grave from the 1790's but couldn't get to it. It's in the woods next to a hunting club and they were firing - so I decided no. Instead we drove down to the Potomac at Point of Rocks and walked the old canal trail. It was exquisitive - the prettiest fall day you ever saw on the loveliest path I've ever walked - and I had let my memory card in the computer! But of course. Hope all are well. Love you guys.
Hey Girls, Good decision, Barb. Wow--1790. Anything that old here is in the Missions, or long ago put into the Southwest Museum. Especially here in Orange County, everything is new. Are you a DAR? All my Grandparents came to Ellis Island in late 1800s. On my Swedish Grandmother's side, we have an ancestor who was a classical Greek scholar born in 1605, and was Dutch. He wrote the Greek Latin lexicon that the missionaries used to translate the Bible for the Hawaiians. My Grandmother--who was doing genealogy in her last years--told me he was mentioned in Mitchner's "Hawaii", but I don't remember in what context. My second cousin on my Dad's side studies that side of the family, and I hope to make it a priority one day myself. Not now. Too unfocused:) Hey Rip--be careful out there! I miss the little bleeding hearts that bloom in the PNW forest:( Diane: great recipes! I posted my cheese ball. The Pumpkin Pie looks amazing! Warm Hugs to All. xo
Chris, I made sure and saved your Chicken Soup recipe and your cheeseball recipe. I have a cheeseball that is made with cream cheese, scallion, pineapple and covered with nuts and it's yummy too. Maybe I'll post that one later. I envy you all that got out to enjoy this beautiful autumn day. I have been stuck inside beside mom (wont let me leave her for 5 minutes) and about ready to climb the walls. I called the on-call doctor and found out mom has yet another UTI from two diffferent bacterias. Oy vey! Just need to get new meds and we should see improvement in 48 hours. Lordy, will I ever get back to work? (and get some sleep so I'm awake at work!) At least we have an answer as to why she feels so bad.
We had a nice day here tomarrow I need to get out and clean up the yard and get wood into the sunroom for the woodstove-it is suppose to be nice this week. I hope everyone has a good night and all the elders sleep well tonight. Flex glad you found out what the problem was and got an answer on a Sunday that doc must be special at least understanding.
Good Evening everyone. As I was making the Chicken Noodle soup I realized i forgot to tell you about LEMON! Put a couple slices lemon with other ingredients at beginning. I juice the rest and stir it in when soup is done. I'll post the correct version later on Recipe. See you Mañana. Austin hope you got lots of cards written! Love, Christina xo
Rip, I've heard people talk about nuking the lemon/lime to get more juice when squeezing. Does it really work?
Friends, do any of you have suggestions how to distance yourself from the verbal attacks from your loved one? Mom gets so mean every night at bedtime. I get stressed out every night and it triggers my asthma and I get breathless. She even bitches about this. How do you protect yourself from constantly being hurt and upset? I know I am exhausted from being up with her so much this past week and she is pushing all my buttons tonight. I know, I need to stop being such a wuss. Let me get to bed so I can reoup for another day of "fun".
Rip good ides about nuking lemons. Flex I had to walk away from the husband when he started to rag on me. My mother when I am with her brings me to tears with her zinners and feel I can not say anything to her she get so angery but if I lived with her like you do I would have to confront her in some way-I might say what she says hurts me or something-are you able to walk away at those times-and give yourself space-I am probably not very helpful and I am sorry she does that-I bet she is nice to others.
dt: Your Mother is most likely suffering from Sundowner's syndrome. My Mom has PD and this has been going on well before she moved out to live near us. When she lived on her own, she would go to the ER and they would tell her it was a panic attack. When she moved here, I was able to observe more closely and noticed that her "meltdowns" occured as the sun set or in the evenings. She became very "Jekyl and Hyde." The next day all was forgotten and she didn't even remember half of what she said.
If your doc can give her a mild sedative or if she is able to use an OTC like Excedrin PM that will help. Also, giving her warm milk or hot chocolate before bedtime is good. Playing soft music in her room and talking about positive things with her will get her in the right frame of mind before bedtime.
I learned to make a switch in my thinking too. I keep saying, "it's the Sundowner's talking, Mom isn't even here." Do not argue with her. Step out of the room at the first insult, wait a moment, then come back into the room. Do this EVERY time...it is a form of behavior modification. At the very least, get some distance from it whenever it occurs...what you don't hear can't hurt you.
You need to reserve your energies and also take care of yourself.
195Austin: When Mom eventually moved to the ALF these behaviors continued and she would call me and say the most awful things. Then, if I didn't listen, she would pick up the phone and start calling everyone she knew to let them know that "no one cared about her," etc... Of coures, medical people overreact and wanted to medicate her or get a psych. evaluation! (Most medical staff has no awareness of Sundowner's...even geriatric specialists.) I have gotten very good at sensing when a meltdown is coming on. As soon as she starts with the verbal abuse, I calmly say, "why don't you get something warm to drink and then call me back." She does follow through, becomes calmer and does not call back. It is just the Sundowner's causing all the havoc. I try not to blame her, because at that moment you are not dealing with a rational person. But it is so hard to hear all the nastiness when you have been a devoted caregiver. It always seems to happen to the one who is closest and doing the right thing.
Diane: have you given any thought to an ALF placement? There are all kinds out there that tailor their services to the resident. Please let me know and I can send you more info. It takes a village to take care of an ailing elder. Children should never be put in the situation of trying to do everything themselves...it is inhumane. Find Mom a great care facility then you can continue being the devoted daughter who handles everything else...and, trust me, there is still plenty to do!
Good morning, everyone. Hope we find some pleasant moments today! We live on a hill where I can see the Laurel Highlands in the distance. The hills and valleys in between are painted with the lovely colors of the autumn leaves which are well past their prime today. But, there are yellows, oranges and browns in various shades. Just lovely.
I enjoyed the posts this weekend - Cuz, you are a treasure! Thanks for the laughs.
Diane, this sundowners syndrome is hard to deal with. The good advise we're reading here is hard to get from the medical community. One of the benefits of this site, and others like it, is the frequent reinforcement of the support and the variety of experiences. We can relate to some of it and gain insight from all of it. Protect your heart, heed what has been said. You are not talking with your mother. This new being's name is "Dementia" and it wears many masks.
God bless all of you and, remember, take care of you, too! Carolyn
lili- ure right . at night time suxs . i have a routine every evening . put pa to bed and turn his tv on and turn on his pasty cline music , she doesnt sing it s just her music without voice . he would lay back and close his eyes and say oh this is purtty music , yes pa pasty cline is so wonderful . sometimes he itches his head and whine and cry , i lay the wash cloth on his forehead ah there is that better ? yes yes , make him comfertable and leave the room . come back n ck on him one moretime , he s either watching tv or sleepin with pasty cline s music . then i d go to bed and wake up in the morning , he s still peaceful . in the past he would cry every hr or so over nonsense shit , i let him hollar all he wants and turn the fan on and sleep like a baby . he doesnt remmy it the next day so why wear ourself to death ? let em hollar , its good for em to keep those lungs a flarring . xoxo
Hello everyone, I've been trying to keep up by reading, but haven't felt up to writing for awhile.I've been struggling with the idea of placing mom in a NH. I've done a lot of soul searching and discovered that it's just caregiver burnout. I'm letting my friends and children help out more now. If anyone causally says "If I can do anything to help." I jump on it like a hawk on a june bug. That'll teach em! I'm desperate and going under for the third time and I just have to swallow my pride and ask for and accept help.
I think the constant pain has played a big part in my negative attitude. I can't be upbeat and positive when my back and shoulder is killing me. Sooooooo......I'm making changes. Now I don't hold on to mom when she walks. If she can get herself up and walk when I leave the room, she can do it with me sitting in front of her. She falls about one out of 5 times that she walks without me, but that's her decision. I have to let go of the guilt that she has ingrained in me. I get pitiful looks from her if I'm in the room and she is struggling to get off the sofa, but I have to make myself ignore them. She can do it. She does do it when I'm out of the room and she comes looking for me. This morning I didn't lift her out of bed. I told her to pull herself up by holding on to my good arm. I also put her shoes on while she was still lying in bed so I wouldn't have to bend over to do it. I let her pull herself up off the toilet and wipe herself. Of course, she smeared poop into her cooter, but right now I can't worry about that, my pain is too bad. She is prescribed a low dose antibiotic for maintenance of UTIs and it seems to be working. She also gets percocet for pain provided by Hospice. I'm don't. So her pain is being cared for, but mine is not. Gotta save myself, girls.
It's tuff, but I'm learning to detach and shield myself from the guilt trips she's so good at placing.
Tomorrow, I'm going to a Women's Clinic that is based on a sliding scale. I haven't had a mamogram in three years and no pelvic exam in over 10 yrs. It's way over due. I've decided to take care of myself! I saved mom and continue to do so every day. It's my turn! I congratulate myself for my good sense. Whoop de freaking do for me!! Can I get an amen??
If I don't write much just know that I'm thinking of you all daily. Right now I have a hard time sitting at the computer for more than a few minutes at a time. My office chair has a lumbar cusion, but this doesn't help much and my laptop in the sunroom where mom sits, I just put on my lap in my recliner. Even with a pillow behind my back it still hurts after a few minutes. So I'm doing a little at a time and then getting up and walking around, doing house work very carefully.
Diane, I'm sorry you are still having such a bad time. My mom does not do the verbal attacks, just the head game type. The suggestions the girls gave sound very good to me. Trust them they know what they're talking about.
Rip, hey there. Nuking the lemons and limes sounds like a great idea. I will try it next time. Thanks.
Christina, your recipe for soup sounds wonderful. I'm just too lazy to go to all those steps and ingredients to get that flavorful stock. I simply use the chicken broth. And we're darned lucky to get that out of me. lol!
Cricket, I've been reading your other threads too. You go girl! There're very good.
Barb, hello my friend. Thanks for calling me. I'm sorry I didn't get to talk with you. I have a hard time staying on the phone for more than a few minutes. Mom is jealous of the phone and always starts wandering around making me nervous. If I stay in the room with her I can't talk freely, if I leave the room she comes looking for me. Best way to get me is by text or email. I try to stay in the room with her to prevent falls that would make life more difficult for me. That sounds selfish I know but that's how it is. Every time she falls, my life gets harder.
Linda, Anne, Rossella, Kim, SS, Ssk, 54j, new friends, old friends....those I'm forgetting to mention.....Hello!
Everyone seems to have their hands especially full this morning. I wish I could be of help . . .I have destroyed my house looking for a picture I knew was here somewhere and just found it - doing anything to stay busy and hoping hoping so much that husband get the call offering him the job. If not we are truly, finally about to make some life-changing, scary decisions - but we have decided together NOT to 'go there' until mid-week.
Lilli -I just had to leave the room. Do what Mom needed done and get out - when she began the anger. One can not reason with an unreasonbel person and its beyond frustrating to try.
It occured to me MUCH late - in fact after her death - that while Mom was certainly there physically the last few yrs, the Mom I knew, the real Mom - the mom that WAS difficult but also had her moments of smart and funny and dear - THAT Mom had been gone for many years.
With me, anyway - looking at it (now, in hindsight, where the 'fog of war' is lifting), if I had interacted with Mom in the same manner I would interact with someone I knew to have a brain injury, or brain damage (say as the result of an accident), I would have been more successful in adjusting my expectations of her behavior.
With advancing dementia, of course there is ongoing brain damage, and while I knew this, I never really adjusted MY perceptions to accomodate it. Does that make sense? Perhaps its like watching a child grow. Those who are with the child each day don't note the subtle, ongoing changes - but those who only see the child occassionally do. "Last time I saw you you were only this high" and such.
In the beginning i did the "Mini-Mental exam" frequently and could see Mom was losing brain function. But after a time when she could not even do that, I had no objective way of measuring - and thus couldn't benchmark her ever decreasing abilities. Perhaps we need to develop one with things like: 1. Mom no longer eats with utensils. 2. Mom no longer knows the way to the bathroom. 3. Mom no longer enjoys looking at pictures. That sort of thing.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I've really enjoyed reading everyone's posts today and this evening. Here's to us all getting a good nights sleep. Nighty night!
Cricket
A Drover walks into a bar with
a pet crocodile by his side.
He puts the crocodile up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.
'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside.
Then the croc will close his
mouth for one minute.
'Then he'll open his mouth
and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
In return for witnessing this
spectacle,
each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar,
dropped his trousers,
and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.
The croc closed his mouth
as the crowd gasped..
After a minute,
the man grabbed a beer
bottle and smacked the
crocodile really,really hard on the top of
its head
The croc opened his mouth
and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered,
and the first of his free
drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A blond woman timidly
Spoke up..........
'I'll try it -
Just don't hit me so hard
with the bottle!'
The music was really loud so I timed my fart with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs I started to feel bett.
I finished my coffee and noticed everyone was staring at me!
And suddenly I remembered I was listening to my iPod.....
And How Was Your Day
Cuz
Rosa - a blackcap is such a beautiful warbler - we don't have them here in the States - and that is certainly odd behavior for a bird, other than "The Raven" of course.
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.
November 6 is officially the greatest day of the year because as Daylight Saving Time ends, we actually gain an hour -- and who doesn't need more time?
Yes, the days are getting shorter and you're probably waking up in darkness (and making your commute in it as well) -- but we gain an hour of sleep on Saturday night as Daylight Saving Time (DST) ends at 2 a.m. Sunday, Nov. 6 and Standard Time begins.
November 6 is officially the greatest day of the year because as Daylight Saving Time ends, we actually gain an hour -- and who doesn't need more time?
We gain an hour of sleep on Saturday night as Daylight Saving Time (DST) ends at 2 a.m. Sunday, Nov. 6 and Standard Time begins.
Slept through and woke up at 7:30. TG. I have been sensing all the earthquakes happening, so there is often that feeling of impending, uh, shaking? I don't want to be negative and say 'doom'. Dark cloud and all that. I guess all of us are used to it by now.
Kuli: you are in the aftermath of caregiving that is scary to me. There is a double impact of recovery and grieving. I wish you peace and rest and healing sleep. Take good care and rebuild your immune system. Blessings to you.
Thinking of all you wonderful caregivers. It's Rainy and the heat is on. Got go get some leggings and turtle necks over to my Mother today, keep her little legs and neck warm. Yesterday she said she didn't want to dream anymore: the random thoughts are bothering her. Strange how part of her brain is aware that the other parts are badgering her. We are going to try the lower dose Exelon again.
Looks like a chicken noodle soup day, for comfort and prevention. Sound good?
Love you, my friends. Have a good day. Christina xo
Thanks for the post about recognizing strokes!! What great information and presented with an acronym to help us remember. I just loved it. I sent it out to others and I've been quizing my Hubby on it already today, lol
I hope everyone is doing good and staying warm. XOXO Cricket
I am going to take Mother's warm clothes over now, then stop at the store to get a chicken and make the soup. Often, I do a quick version of a good Jewish recipe. Instead of cooking a raw chicken, I buy one already roasted, remove and save the white and dark meat except for the wings, put the carcass and skin into pot with chicken broth, celery leaves, 1 whole unpeeled onion stuck with 2 cloves, 10 peppercorns, bay leaf, 2 large cloves of garlic, smashed, good sprig of fresh Italian parsley, and simmer for 45 minutes. Then I strain it, put the broth back in pot, add diced potato, carrots and cook until almost done, add fine Kosher noodles, cook for 5 minutes, then add the dark meat chicken. I save the white meat for chicken salad or enchiladas. The chicken is already seasoned, but potatoes and noodles do soak up some of the salt--but not the sodium, so add salt to taste after it's finished--right, Cricket?! I will probably make cornbread today to go with it, but sometimes I make biscuits. Maybe I should have posted this on Nutrition site? It is very comforting and nutritious for Elder's, too. Mother loves it:D Stay warm, Dear Ones:) xoxoxo
P.S.: I use a large can of S's chicken broth, but add water, too. This is usually enough for 6-8 servings. Use as many vegies as you like, or different ones, but I prefer a 'purist' version. For this amount I use 2 potatoes, 4 large carrots, 1 cup dry noodles--it is pretty thick.
Mom has been in bed all day today again. She had me up and down all night too. I am at a loss as to what to do. All she complains about is generalized weakness. She has no fever, her BP and pulse rate are good, her coloring is good, no signs of bleeding and her glucose is good. I hope tomorrow the doc will have the urine culture back.
I posted some recipes on the Favorite Recipes thread. I listed a variety, so hopefully everyone will find something worth trying.
Have a good day my friends and I'll be thinking of you.
Love ya,
Diane
Husband and I went to photograph a grave from the 1790's but couldn't get to it. It's in the woods next to a hunting club and they were firing - so I decided no. Instead we drove down to the Potomac at Point of Rocks and walked the old canal trail. It was exquisitive - the prettiest fall day you ever saw on the loveliest path I've ever walked - and I had let my memory card in the computer! But of course.
Hope all are well. Love you guys.
Beautiful autumn day here & I'm just headed out to the forest with camera. Thanks for the reminder. The video card is in the computer!
Cheers ~
Rip&Pets
Good decision, Barb. Wow--1790. Anything that old here is in the Missions, or long ago put into the Southwest Museum. Especially here in Orange County, everything is new. Are you a DAR? All my Grandparents came to Ellis Island in late 1800s. On my Swedish Grandmother's side, we have an ancestor who was a classical Greek scholar born in 1605, and was Dutch. He wrote the Greek Latin lexicon that the missionaries used to translate the Bible for the Hawaiians. My Grandmother--who was doing genealogy in her last years--told me he was mentioned in Mitchner's "Hawaii", but I don't remember in what context.
My second cousin on my Dad's side studies that side of the family, and I hope to make it a priority one day myself. Not now. Too unfocused:)
Hey Rip--be careful out there! I miss the little bleeding hearts that bloom in the PNW forest:(
Diane: great recipes! I posted my cheese ball. The Pumpkin Pie looks amazing!
Warm Hugs to All. xo
Enjoy the rest of this beautiful day!
Take care "sistas"....and of course you too Cuz,
Diane
As I was making the Chicken Noodle soup I realized i forgot to tell you about LEMON! Put a couple slices lemon with other ingredients at beginning. I juice the rest and stir it in when soup is done. I'll post the correct version later on Recipe.
See you Mañana. Austin hope you got lots of cards written! Love, Christina xo
Friends, do any of you have suggestions how to distance yourself from the verbal attacks from your loved one? Mom gets so mean every night at bedtime. I get stressed out every night and it triggers my asthma and I get breathless. She even bitches about this. How do you protect yourself from constantly being hurt and upset? I know I am exhausted from being up with her so much this past week and she is pushing all my buttons tonight. I know, I need to stop being such a wuss. Let me get to bed so I can reoup for another day of "fun".
Rest well everyone.
Love ya,
Diane
If your doc can give her a mild sedative or if she is able to use an OTC like Excedrin PM that will help. Also, giving her warm milk or hot chocolate before bedtime is good. Playing soft music in her room and talking about positive things with her will get her in the right frame of mind before bedtime.
I learned to make a switch in my thinking too. I keep saying, "it's the Sundowner's talking, Mom isn't even here." Do not argue with her. Step out of the room at the first insult, wait a moment, then come back into the room. Do this EVERY time...it is a form of behavior modification. At the very least, get some distance from it whenever it occurs...what you don't hear can't hurt you.
You need to reserve your energies and also take care of yourself.
I have gotten very good at sensing when a meltdown is coming on. As soon as she starts with the verbal abuse, I calmly say, "why don't you get something warm to drink and then call me back." She does follow through, becomes calmer and does not call back. It is just the Sundowner's causing all the havoc. I try not to blame her, because at that moment you are not dealing with a rational person. But it is so hard to hear all the nastiness when you have been a devoted caregiver. It always seems to happen to the one who is closest and doing the right thing.
Diane: have you given any thought to an ALF placement? There are all kinds out there that tailor their services to the resident. Please let me know and I can send you more info.
It takes a village to take care of an ailing elder. Children should never be put in the situation of trying to do everything themselves...it is inhumane. Find Mom a great care facility then you can continue being the devoted daughter who handles everything else...and, trust me, there is still plenty to do!
I enjoyed the posts this weekend - Cuz, you are a treasure! Thanks for the laughs.
Diane, this sundowners syndrome is hard to deal with. The good advise we're reading here is hard to get from the medical community. One of the benefits of this site, and others like it, is the frequent reinforcement of the support and the variety of experiences. We can relate to some of it and gain insight from all of it.
Protect your heart, heed what has been said. You are not talking with your mother. This new being's name is "Dementia" and it wears many masks.
God bless all of you and, remember, take care of you, too!
Carolyn
sometimes he itches his head and whine and cry , i lay the wash cloth on his forehead ah there is that better ? yes yes , make him comfertable and leave the room . come back n ck on him one moretime , he s either watching tv or sleepin with pasty cline s music . then i d go to bed and wake up in the morning , he s still peaceful .
in the past he would cry every hr or so over nonsense shit , i let him hollar all he wants and turn the fan on and sleep like a baby . he doesnt remmy it the next day so why wear ourself to death ? let em hollar , its good for em to keep those lungs a flarring .
xoxo
I've been trying to keep up by reading, but haven't felt up to writing for awhile.I've been struggling with the idea of placing mom in a NH. I've done a lot of soul searching and discovered that it's just caregiver burnout. I'm letting my friends and children help out more now. If anyone causally says "If I can do anything to help." I jump on it like a hawk on a june bug. That'll teach em! I'm desperate and going under for the third time and I just have to swallow my pride and ask for and accept help.
I think the constant pain has played a big part in my negative attitude. I can't be upbeat and positive when my back and shoulder is killing me. Sooooooo......I'm making changes. Now I don't hold on to mom when she walks. If she can get herself up and walk when I leave the room, she can do it with me sitting in front of her. She falls about one out of 5 times that she walks without me, but that's her decision. I have to let go of the guilt that she has ingrained in me. I get pitiful looks from her if I'm in the room and she is struggling to get off the sofa, but I have to make myself ignore them. She can do it. She does do it when I'm out of the room and she comes looking for me. This morning I didn't lift her out of bed. I told her to pull herself up by holding on to my good arm. I also put her shoes on while she was still lying in bed so I wouldn't have to bend over to do it. I let her pull herself up off the toilet and wipe herself. Of course, she smeared poop into her cooter, but right now I can't worry about that, my pain is too bad. She is prescribed a low dose antibiotic for maintenance of UTIs and it seems to be working. She also gets percocet for pain provided by Hospice. I'm don't. So her pain is being cared for, but mine is not. Gotta save myself, girls.
It's tuff, but I'm learning to detach and shield myself from the guilt trips she's so good at placing.
Tomorrow, I'm going to a Women's Clinic that is based on a sliding scale. I haven't had a mamogram in three years and no pelvic exam in over 10 yrs. It's way over due. I've decided to take care of myself! I saved mom and continue to do so every day. It's my turn! I congratulate myself for my good sense. Whoop de freaking do for me!! Can I get an amen??
If I don't write much just know that I'm thinking of you all daily. Right now I have a hard time sitting at the computer for more than a few minutes at a time. My office chair has a lumbar cusion, but this doesn't help much and my laptop in the sunroom where mom sits, I just put on my lap in my recliner. Even with a pillow behind my back it still hurts after a few minutes. So I'm doing a little at a time and then getting up and walking around, doing house work very carefully.
Diane, I'm sorry you are still having such a bad time. My mom does not do the verbal attacks, just the head game type. The suggestions the girls gave sound very good to me. Trust them they know what they're talking about.
Rip, hey there. Nuking the lemons and limes sounds like a great idea. I will try it next time. Thanks.
Christina, your recipe for soup sounds wonderful. I'm just too lazy to go to all those steps and ingredients to get that flavorful stock. I simply use the chicken broth. And we're darned lucky to get that out of me. lol!
Cricket, I've been reading your other threads too. You go girl! There're very good.
Barb, hello my friend. Thanks for calling me. I'm sorry I didn't get to talk with you. I have a hard time staying on the phone for more than a few minutes. Mom is jealous of the phone and always starts wandering around making me nervous. If I stay in the room with her I can't talk freely, if I leave the room she comes looking for me. Best way to get me is by text or email. I try to stay in the room with her to prevent falls that would make life more difficult for me. That sounds selfish I know but that's how it is. Every time she falls, my life gets harder.
Linda, Anne, Rossella, Kim, SS, Ssk, 54j, new friends, old friends....those I'm forgetting to mention.....Hello!
Ok, I gotta get up now. I love you all.
Ann
Lilli -I just had to leave the room. Do what Mom needed done and get out - when she began the anger. One can not reason with an unreasonbel person and its beyond frustrating to try.
It occured to me MUCH late - in fact after her death - that while Mom was certainly there physically the last few yrs, the Mom I knew, the real Mom - the mom that WAS difficult but also had her moments of smart and funny and dear - THAT Mom had been gone for many years.
With me, anyway - looking at it (now, in hindsight, where the 'fog of war' is lifting), if I had interacted with Mom in the same manner I would interact with someone I knew to have a brain injury, or brain damage (say as the result of an accident), I would have been more successful in adjusting my expectations of her behavior.
With advancing dementia, of course there is ongoing brain damage, and while I knew this, I never really adjusted MY perceptions to accomodate it. Does that make sense? Perhaps its like watching a child grow. Those who are with the child each day don't note the subtle, ongoing changes - but those who only see the child occassionally do. "Last time I saw you you were only this high" and such.
In the beginning i did the "Mini-Mental exam" frequently and could see Mom was losing brain function. But after a time when she could not even do that, I had no objective way of measuring - and thus couldn't benchmark her ever decreasing abilities. Perhaps we need to develop one with things like:
1. Mom no longer eats with utensils.
2. Mom no longer knows the way to the bathroom.
3. Mom no longer enjoys looking at pictures. That sort of thing.
Love you guys.