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Check with your senior centers that is where many meals on wheels are sent out no weekends or driving in bad weather -they are given emergancy meals-The nursing home my husband was in most of the time of the 16 or so stints at rehab paid the aides 15 an hour about 4 years ago and they were picked up by a bus taken to and from the train.
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Christina: So well written....and so much good "stuff" in your post. I am glad that you are able to reconnect with your bff again...tried that myself with no result. (friend bolted at the precise moment I became a caregiver) So sad to lose a friend that you thought of as a sister :o(

Rip: In my college years I had soooo many jobs...liked the variety, though. I just remember coming home from class, changing, going to one job, then another until midnight. Builds character, as they say. Some of my best memories are from the people I met in those years. In tough times, it pays to be versatile and do "whatever it takes." I had a professor who used to tell us that he had to do whatever it took to "keep body and soul" together. I like that.

Rip, Austin: so many good suggestions for Barb....I hope one of them works for her. Even if a temp. job does not cover everything, it will help some....many come with benefits.

Linda: love your "can do" spirit...I think it is a pre-requisite of a family caregiver. Even if Dad does not appreciate your sacrifice, we do!

And to everyone who is "just visiting," wishing you a calm day.

Lilli
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I'd like to say something to all of you but I will say something just to 2 of you. (you all said many beautiful things and I have nothing to add....)
Diane: my father had a heart attack too, he survived, and I remember the doctors said that the first 24 hours are the riskiest ones; if you outlive the 24 hours there's good hope.... I think you are already past that crucial 1st day.
Barb: yes it is very difficult to find a job after 50 (I am 54) and I have to start finding a new job, too. Otherwise the bridges are waiting for me, too. I have a house, but you can't live in a house if you can't pay the bills... I wish you and your husband the same good luck I wish to myself! Otherwise, we'll organize beautiful bridge-parties. We'll dance and cook good meals under the bridge.
I had a minor ordeal tonight and I am going to tell you the story to make you smile. I had decided to bake a chocolate cake. I bought some days ago a silicon mold and I used it tonight. I filled it with the mix eggs-butter-flour and so on, and I put it into the electric oven. After 2 minutes the silicon went on fire, and I was lucky I was there, I switched off the oven immediately, threw the silicon mold and its content in the dish and extinguished the fire. You can imagine what was the kitchen like. Chocolate everywhere, on the floor, the table, everywhere. When the oven was cold I cleaned the oven (1/2 hour of work). Then I cleaned the kitchen (another 1/2 of work) and when everything was clean I put the mac-cheese in the oven for dinner. Fire again! Shoot, it was not the fault of the silicon. It was the fault of the oven! I switched off the oven again, I unplugged it and I said the oven "Bye bye" and I am going to throw it in the garbage tomorrow.
I think that two fires in the same evening, and the kitchen which seemed Waterloo, was enough for the night. I cooked the mac-cheese in a pan....
The kitchen tools are rebelling to me, too. I am starting to be fed up by this steady rebellion by everybody.
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Rosella - the bridge parties sound nice - and I learned a long time ago in survivor training (Navy) how to build a solar oven so we're good. Sorry for the mess in the kitchen but it did make me smile.

A lot of companies these days are getting around paying any benefits by hiring you as an independent contractor aka flex employee. The job at A**P was/is like that. They contract you for 6 months at a time. Pay is good but no benefits. We have a friend who works for Marriot in the corporate office and he has the same deal - and both these organizations can well afford to pay benefits but do not out of choice. Stinks a mightly big stinky smell!
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Rosella... I would raise my hands up to the Heavens and shout, "Enough, already!!", in my best Yiddish accent. Your kitchen scene goes beyond the ridiculous and tragic to comical and jaded. Oi Vey.
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Christina, in fact I found it quite funny. I am just sorry I have no more ovens now. I hope I can give myself a new oven for Xmas. (as a present to myself). I was starting to cook good things!
Barb: 6 months at the time is better than nothing... We have to start somewhere.
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oh rossella ! like christina said raise ur hands and shout enuff !! damn it all ! so ur oven is bad ! am so sorry bet ur house was filled with smoke too , lucky the fire didnt spread like wildfires !
bridge party and solar oven . call me and i ll bring the wine ! yummie . boonefarm ok ? i know christina wants maragritta and austin wants straight tequila :-) lime too ? salt along the rim too ? yummie . we gota bring our parents and set em over by the barrels where they get nice heat from it , ill bring the wood and make sure it doesnt have posion oak on it . :-)
there we re all set . we can use bobbie s boat to use the bathroom to shower and run back out under the bridge , on ur way back plz bring bobbie s coffee too . maybe the gator will mossey on over to me and i ll chop his tails ! we could cook that in the solar oven ! high heaven woo woo .
windy day out here isnt it kimmy lou ? cold front is a comin when it does arrive i ll fire up that wood stove .
oh gosh whats for supper . hubby just ask me . think i ll throw him a bone and maybe he ll be happy guy nawin on it . cricket ! are u still in the kitchen ?
hee haw . love ya folks ! meow later xoxo
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Linda-yep windy here and cold. Think they said it was going down to 29! I heard Agnes meowing upstairs! She was letting me know I left the window open! It was windy up there! She's a good guard cat!

Wish Dad would watch his TV. I got him up for an entire 15 minutes watching TV and then he wanted it turned off so he could go back to bed! Lost his teeth, found the teeth.....guess he just wanted to know where they were cause he never puts them in anymore! Gums are hard as teeth, I think he could eat a hard piece of rawhide with those gums! LOL

Rossella, hope your oven starts behaving! Keep fire extinguisher handy! One year I got one of those Jack Lalane juicers. Big mistake! First of all the damned juicer put me through a workout just attempting to get it to work, and secondly, stupid thing spewed out all the contents when it started juicing! What a mess! I swear Jack had ulterior motives behind the juicer. He wanted to make people do a work out every time they tried to juice and then work out more when the juicer exploded all over the kitchen! I am very afraid to juice anything at all now! LOL

Barb, are there any military benefits available for you? Just hoping things will start looking up for you guys!

Shadow is up! Better see what's up! Don't want anymore dirty depends in the sink! Love you all!
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Rosella: your burning oven is a "normal" day in the kitchen for me. My hub is famous for saying, "what's burning?" I say, "dinner." I am glad that you can have a sense of humor about it...a little scary, though, when it is the oven itself that is burning. (I love Mac n Cheese and can actually make it - from a box - but I like it!)
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That is funny bad with the oven I was just taking the stove apart and cleaning it last night, now if it gets a drop of water on it I wipe it off right away..

Agree with Cristina's from the other day, these stages of old age and childhood...the similarities are striking. only it isn't cute at 90, well really tantrums are hardly ever cute...

signed up for Wheel Watchers...maybe I'll win a car...and learn to drive.

Lots of job options for drivers remember and big store hiring seasonal just now, even the Post Office was.

Good rest of week everyone.... thoughts with Diane and her James.....
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Once when we had no power for days because of a Hurricane. As the food would start to thaw out I would go fire up the BBQ. I even cooked a Turkey on the BBQ. LOL, We spent that entire week like we were on a camping trip out on our patio. If it weren't for the extreme heat it would have been a great vacation. :)
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hi cricket , those days were terrible , my bro was without power for a long time too , hot nd sticky mirrisable , glad that you all made it thru the storm , i have seen big tall metal pole and it was bend like a broken toothpick . holy mercy ,
flex - hows james ? hope he s all good , do u have someone watching your mom while ure with james ? i hope someone is helping you out with ur mom . big hugs to u dear ..
you guys have a nice evening and stay warm ~~~ xoxo
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Ah ... the blustery Pacific Northwest left me without power for 7 days. House temp was 37 indoors. Cooked Top Ramen on a candle. Such a chef ...
Found a generator. Unheard of that week but it had been returned.
Wouldn't you know the minute I secured the gas cap the power came on!

I don't know what would be worse? Heat or cold. I had pet warmers under the comforters & candle light to read ...
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Has anyone heard from Diane / Dflex?
Wish we could all be with her in the 'waiting' room. We are, huh Kuli?

Please be strong James ...
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Hey, it's hunting season.

Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. He leaned the old 16
gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it,
the foolish dog knocks the gun over, it goes off and Ole took most of an
ounce of #4 in the groin.

Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he comes to.... and
there is his doctor, Sven
"Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that
you
are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very
little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot."

"What's the bad news?", asks Ole

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage
done
to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ."
"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic
surgeon?"
"Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in the Minneapolis
Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers, so you
don't piss in your eye."
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Hi Y'all,
My honey made it throught the critical first 24 hours!!!! The bleeding has stopped, they have been able to stablize his blood pressure, infection is being treated, he is more awake, he is now stable enough to turn so he won't get bedsores and his kidneys are functioning better. They tried giving him glucerna through his stomach tube but his stomach hasn't started functioning right yet. I have listened and asked so many questions and learned so much. Now if I could just remember it all. Thank you for all the prayers and keep them coming. We have a long road to travel to recovery. I plan to be at the hospital by 7am tomorrow so I can speak with the team of doctors.
At first it looked like this may help bring my family together again, but that theory was blown to hell today. My brother stopped helping me and I've had to call and arrange for sitters while at James bedside. While I was having lunch my brother asked me to call and give him an update on James. He asked who I was getting to stay with mom and I told him what I had worked out. His final comment was, "how do you plan to pay for this all". I was pissed, but decided I needed to save my energy for better things. I am once again disappointed by his insensitivity.

Have a good night my dear friends and again, thank you for the prayers and support.

Love ya,
Diane
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Great news Diane! Take care of yourself as much as you can! Hope James gets stronger each day! He is in my thoughts as are you every day! Love and hugs! Kim
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Diane, I'm so relieved for you and James. Thanks for the update. I will keep you both in my prayers. Please try to get some sleep. XOXO Cricket
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Flex I am so glad that James is doing bettet. That brother of yours is a piece of work-can you just not take his calls-yiu know he will upset you-my late husband did that to me. I was glad the nursing home did not return his tape recorder because I knew I would have to listen to his rants-my son was going to listen and tell me if I should-but by the grace of God it was lost-I think someone heard him ranting and made sure it got lost-God works in mysterious ways. Someday your brother will need you he just does not know it at this time and you will be able to decide how to respond-it will happen. A big hug to you my dear.
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Diane, I am very happy for you. Your brother is a jerk.
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Just got a call at 3:00am...my Mom had a fall....is in the hospital...waiting to hear about tests...
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Good Morning, Friends. I've been MIA, I know. I was just not in the mood to talk but finally, I broke out of my self pity party.
Diane, Such good news about James. You do need to get some rest yourself and dismiss your knucklehead brother for the flea that he is. They make flea and tick spray for insects. I think you just use "resolve" against humans.

Cuz - omg you are a hoot! Thanks for the laugh!
rip - such innovation! You should write a susvivors guide. Ramen noodles cooked over a candle...I want a picture of that! Maybe Cricket and you could collaberate? You have the cold weather experience, she has the hot weather experience.
rosella, I was happy to find you on FB! I do hope things will begin to improve for you soon. Financially, t's a real mess, I know.

It's a gray and chilly day here in PA. The temp dropped 20 degrees overnight and iis only going up about 5 degress today. Hubby had to get up at 3:45 to drive to a meeting at a university in DC. I tried to go back to sleep but to no avail. It's going to be a looonnnggg day.

Yesterday, discussions with Mom were peppered with comments that she wants to talk things over with Dad (deceased in 2004). Heaven forbid she'd take any advise from me! I don't have the right plumbing.

So, I called my brother to ask him to talk with her about a repair to her car (which she shouldn't be driving). His initial answer was that maybe she'd be better off to buy a cheap used car. WHAT????? Is he nuts? I suggested that this is the perfect answer to taking away the keys.

Please pray he is inspired to approach this sensibly. (I can hope, can't I?)

Looks like we'll be going east to have dinner with my two brothers, one son and his daughter (2), my Mom and a variety of nieces and nephews. We haven't been together like this in quite some time due to issues of all kinds: family squablles, health problems, you name it. I'm holding my breath and hope it will be a family memory to treasure for a change. All in all, we should still have things to be grateful for. Right?

Big hugs to everyone! Keep making lemonade! Carolyn
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Mom lives alone since Dad passed in 2004. She will be 83 tomorrow, 11/11/11. Dementia is taking over her thinking and at times her remarks take me by surprise. When she was a little girl, she thought that the Veterans Day Parade iwas to celebrate her birthday!

When Dad was alive he would walk in the parade and she was very proud. I asked her if she is going to the parade this year to which she responded "Of course. Maybe I'll seen Daddy".
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Good Morning family, yes that's right. I referred to you all as family because you are all as about a healthy family as I know I will ever have! It's amazing how the biological family structures have failed us all on one level or the next.

Carolyn, I believe RIP with her ramen soup has me beat hands down! LOL That is IMO the epitome of getting the meal cooked! What patience and determination you have RIP!

Barb, This might sound a little strange but I heard it from a comment that was posted to a work seminar. What was suggested was when we go for a job interview if our intent is really to put the company's needs in the foremost of our minds, like having the attitude of "how can I help you" many times the Employer/Interviewer picks up on this and they are drawn to this more than age, qualifications, etc. It's basically this, by putting the "job" needs ahead of our own our needs are met. The person who posted said when she would go to an interview she would pray "help me to see how I can help this person, this company. I thought it was interesting and wanted to share it with you and your Hubby.

Linda, I would live under a bridge with you and the rest here any day. I love the little tangent you took with the story. You amaze me with how well you accept and deal with life's challenges. You are just the kind of person that calms my nervousness down by making me laugh. I love how you see humor in just about everything!

Kimmie, Is your Shadow still shedding the underpants around the house or were you able to get that under control? When is the remodeling going to be finished, I will come visit for Respite. It's amazing how getting a break from taking care of one person even if we go take care of someone else, can give us a refreshing break. I experienced that when I went to CA to take care of Wilma and took Dad to his sisters for a month. Dad's Sister taking care of him for a month was a bridge that has burned for sure. After two weeks with him she was falling to pieces and handed the job over to her husband and told me to put him in a NH or Adult Day Care 7 days a week! I had to convince her to keep him for the duration of the Month!

AnnT, Jen, Diane, Carolyn, Deef, Bobbie, Rossella, Lilli, I hope you are all safe and doing okay. Have a good day everyone. Love Cricket
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Carolyn, Dementia is such a sad disease. I guess there is some comfort for them when they forget someone they loved has died. My Dad is no where near that bad yet. When I was younger someone I knew had a bad fall and it had the affect of making him lose all memory and speech, it felt like the person I knew was gone as if his body was there but his mind and personality just didn't exist. I can only guess that it's like that with Dementia because I haven't been there with Dad yet. My heart goes out to you and others here who are going through that.
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Lilli-Hope everything is going to be OK with your Mom! Please keep us posted! So sorry to hear she had a fall! Love and hugs, Kim
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cricket- im glad i am able to make u smile or laugh , my whole family is that way , someone is down and one of us would say something to make em giggle or smile . my oldest bro johnny was the one u would like to hang out with . he would think of something that would make u roll onthe floor and laugh so hard maybe pee ur pant . we all would think of something that is just way offthe wall . my other bro in fla . bless his heart he too would bring smiles on my face . when i was so down inthe dump nobody could cheer me up only my dad would have the answer for me to cheer up .
flex- i am so glad ur huney bun is perkin up and getting better each day . screw ur bro ! send him the bill for the caregiver u hired .
i ask my bro once , what do i do if i cant get anybody to sit with pa when bad crisis come sup later . he said hire someone and send me the bill . i havent done that yet but i know i will be able to do that when i am needing one ....
think i shall go clean pa s room up today and move his room around so he can look out the window to watch out for snow flakes ohh lala . that;ll be comin soon .

dementia- sure is something eles , other mornin pa said i havent seen johnny i said i havent seen himin a while . he was wondering what happen to him . told himmaybe he ll come by later , yeah he says . they do see the dead ones and we dont . i never tell him ah ure dreamin or hey hes dead ! , i always agree with pa and tell him maybe later ? he used to see mom all the time , how i wish she would visit me from time to time . dad s brothers all came and visit him while everybodys in bed sleeping . then in the morning he would say hey did u see ed ? uhh no i havent why did he just leave ? he d say well he was right here till u walked in . id tell him oh maybe he s in bathroom ? i do honeslty believe they do come and see dad and have a wild party in his room . he sleeps all day and at night he s visiting all his love ones . which is fine with me . :-) , as long as pa s happy im happy .
alrighty i best go clean pa s bdrm and get everything all straighten out and clean . meow at you all later gators woo woo . xoxoxo
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lili - prayers for ur mom . hope she s good as new after she leave the hospital . keep us update ,
flex - thanks for the update . keep us posted and will continue with prayers .
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Thinking of and wishing the best to all of you and your loved ones today.
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cricket, kim, kuli, and linda: thank you for your kind words and good wishes. I have been up since 3:00am trying to sort things out. Mom fell but was able to get to the phone and dial 911 (will not wear a medic-alert pendant). They took her to the hospital and I feared the worse because her bones are so fragile...but, amazingly, she had no broken bones. But the ER doc and nurse insisted that she be admitted (I call it being "held hostage") so we shall see. (the medical staff was extremely rude and pushy with family members...of course, it is all about the bottom line.)

So much emotion today and when things like this happen I just feel like every decision is the wrong one.

Anyway, I have a back up plan in place and, to save my sanity, I need to do some "pre-planning" for the future...sib tends to do the ostrich bit.

Just a very bleak day......

Hope yours is better....and thanks again for the moral support....much needed today.

Lilli
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