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Morning all. Another cold and beautiful morning here in Maryland.
Remember when Friday was longed for all week? Pay day, date night, football game, leaving for a weekend getaway - whatever - it was THE best day. I miss that.
Caregiving our elderly often leaves us with the feeling that one day is very much as another - especially if our elder is one who never sought out the joy in life to begin with. My Mom was like that. She lived her life - at least when I knew her - in a washed out 'black and white' way. No depth, no sparkle, no intense feelings one way of the other - just 'flat'. The only thing I saw Mom excited about was her when she thought she had possession of a rare dime that was worth millions. She got so ga ga over this that I bought, highlighted and bookmarked a coin book before I could convince her that 'her dime' was worth only about 25 cents. Then there was the Readers Digest or PCH sweepstakes she was so certain she would win she made me promise I'd accompany her to NYC.
Sigh . . . but Mom never got excited about real life. I didn't truly realize this as a child. When I was about 11 there was a Zale's ad in the newspaper for a 'mother's bracelet, and Dad covertly agreed to help me get it for Mother's day. I looked up the birthstones for Moms three kids and her one grandchild at the time, and went to Zale's and ordered it - even paid extra to have it gift wrapped. I was SO excited when the day came to give this special gift to my mom. She opened the package, laid the bracelet across her wrist, and the next moment threw it across the room - stating that it wasn't large enough to fit her wrist. That was the only time I ever heard Dad yell at my Mom . . .shaming her. I never saw the bracelet - ever again. No apologies were ever made. My Mom seemed to default to unhappy, and to take pleasure in sharing her unhappiness to those around her.
I prefer, even now with so many things in my life not as I wish them to be - to try my best to live my life in bold, vivid Technicolor rather than washed out black and white. Bring in the surround sound and the smell-o-vision! Embrace the good and the bad, the heartache as well as the joy and be grateful for the ability to FEEL the emotions that make us truly human. Be grateful I have people who love me, and who would be pleased to receive any gift I may give them - whether it fits or not - because it was given with love.
I miss my Mom, I loved my Mom - but I never, ever sought to emulate the way she lived her life.
Blah blah blah - these thoughts spring into my head and I have to get them OUT. Venting . . .that is why we're here, right?
Love you guys. I will shut up now - my gift to all of you!
I can feel that one....just sort of lodged in to un happy. I think it is genetic in my family...We always veer on the negative in all situations..It gets old... Don't shut up M it makes me feel better to know there are others who understand not just who sit back and think why doesn't she shut up and get a life if she is so unhappy...
ADH day few errands two hours sleep.....Good Weekend all..
mariesmom - that broke my heart that ur mom did that . glad ur dad barked at her and said shame on u shame on you , damn it ! cruel people i swear . i never could do that to my kids , im always happy to see them , i hug em when they come in and hugthem when they leave . i love my kids ,,,, hope one of em would love to give me the loving care and care for me when i get to be a demented . if they dont ill bite em in the ass . other day daughter and i and granddaughter too . was lookin at all my neckist that hubby for me for cmas every year . i told my daughter well now u all girls gotta fight over who gets this who gets that , when im dead and gone . she didnt like to hear that part of me begin dead and gone ~~~ granddaughter said i want that cross necklist , which im wearing now . but anyways im glad that i love life , and yes i love bobbie s coffee too . missing it . shall make another weekend trip just for her coffee and that bed ! geeze u lay on it and poof ure fast sound asleep . so comfty ! missin u too bobbie ~~~ . jsomebody - we all care about you and u are a wonderful person inside and out . dont let ur faimly tell u any diffrent cuz this side of cybers families loves you and we think of u all the time . big hugs to u jenny girl ... alrighty pa s speakin german , try so hard to understand him . do u want to lay on ur side or on ur back . gibberish blah blah . uhh on ur back ?. giber giber , oh u want on ur side ?, YEAH he says , rolled him over to his back . sleepin like a baby now . sheba is all perked up cuz bandit is back home again . i have never seen sheba smiled so big ! she hop and hop and bark happy . bandits like ohh mommmmmyyyyyyyyy and he licked her face . that broke my heart . he is so happy to be back home , hated it over my sons house , he was annoyee and wouldnt mind and chewed up everything thats in the yard . my son said grrr he barked all night and all day . damn him . he brought him back last night and now he s happy camper and so is sheba . the guy called my daughter and said he has 11 acres of land and he needs a good barking dogs to let him know if theres someone on his property and he lives not far from here , mmmm he said he s coming tmr to see him . if he decides he wants him then im gonna ask if it be ok we come visit him every now and then . :-) if he said uhhh i dont want him t hen i sure hope in hell that i can throw myself on the floor and throw tantrum at my hubby to keep him lol , i love bandit , he just needs a good lovin . alrighty im blabbin away i best get my hindend in third gear , love u all and have a good day xoxox austin - dont work too hard chrocheing , xoxo
Hi Jen! Two hours sleep? Not even enough time to dream:( tonight, you will Sleep. Poof!! Believe it:! Love you, Jen. xo MsM... Hmmmm? Similar observances and experiences and ponderings of my own Mother. Unusual behaviors I saw in her, from my old soul as a child. We are so different from them. Our children reflect that. I see the photo of hour daughters and know how they love and admire you. My daughter, the same. My son, that's something else I have turned over. His behavior is in no way reflective of the love and life he was shown growing up. But, just as we are surrounded by those poor souls who missed out on the piñata candy, I told him the other day, I will survive his hatred. I hope he does. Anyway, fantastic post, Barb. I agree with Jen-- don't ever shut up around us. You put your words together in a harmonius, technocolor style, and it is appreciated by all. About 30 some years ago, I was visiting my Mother for the weekend. In the evening, we were sitting on the sofa 'having a conversation', but really it was watching TV, because that is what people do so they don't have to talk to each other. She became amazed over some philosophical idea I had about life and asked me. "how and what" would make me think of things like that? I said that was how my mind worked and what type of things did she think about every day. She answered-- and this is one of those 'brands' in my memory--"Oh, what am I going to wear today, what am I going to have for lunch...things like that." Non-plussed is a good word to describe my reaction. I think I decided to watch whatever was on the tube. Sigh. Keep venting. Love you All! Christina xo
Oh Barb, I am so sorry that happened to you! It hits home with me! When these things happen to us as children it is like a stab in the heart that will not heal! It is traumatic and cruel on the part of the very person we love and so much need to love us back! Keep venting please! When you share something another person can relate to so vividly, you are giving them a gift! Makes other people, me for one, feel less alone and certainly more connected! Love you and sending many hugs your way! Kim
Ah the TV . . . gawd how mom loved it and NEVER turned it off. Didn't matter who was there or what was happening it was omnipresent. One was expected to talk over it. (The first thing I do when someone drops by - or calls - is to turn off the TV). She also used TV as a weapon . . . Mom had several ways to wake us as kids. One was to stand over our beds and beat a pot with a metal spoon. Really. Another as to stand and flick the lights rapidly yelling "get up get up get up" as if it were a fire drill.
And then there was the TV. Ours was a small (bout 1200sf) house. Mom would turn on the local morning show and turn the volume UP AS HIGH AS IT WOULD GO just as the elderly once-almost-was-an-opera-singer woman came on to do her 'entertainment' bit. Oh, the horror of that aged contralto vibrato resounding throughout the house with renditions of "A tisket, a tasket" or other such banalities. It STILL haunts me. This TV as a weapon was also how I learned of RFK's death. Brother and I had turned off the TV right after Bobby said "It's on to Chicago and lets win there". (Brother and I took a keen interest in RFK and ending the war - our brother was in Vietnam for his 2nd tour). Mom woke us with the news of his shooting not with tender condolences but with the news bulletins at full volume the next morning.
I am continually amazed at how much emotional abuse many of us lived through as children. Maybe it's the reason we are caregivers today. Maybe we are still trying to get our Parents love and approval along with doing what we believe is the right thing to do. Barb, I'm sorry you had to endure that with your Mother but I must say you didn't let it drag you down, you rose above it and that is a really good lesson to bring with you in life.
I'm in a rush to get outta here and get grocery shopping done so I will say bye for now. Love you all and sending warm wishes for you today.
Hi angelhair! You stick right here with us! Been cleaning my house after the high winds yesterday. Windows and floors everything. Much better. We're leaving in 2 hours so going to wrap it up and get ready. I'll check in on the drive home tonight. Barb: here's a lovely memory: I have sung since I was 18 months old and played the piano since I was 5. After dinner many nights, after I had cleaned up the kitchen, washed the dishes, put everything away, I would sit at my piano while Mother and step father were still sitting at table in kitchen talking. I would play one of their favorite songs-- his was Stranger on the Shore", Mother like show tunes-- she was a singer, too. After a few bars, they would come into the living room and say, " we're going to watch TV now". Not, "that was lovely, chris, thanks for playing one of my favorites", but always the passive agressive approach-- guess what we want you to Stop doing now? Never a mention of my talent. I went on to win the Natl. School Choral Award, however, in 1969. It was my personal goal I set as a freshman. So, neener neener, idiot, unaware losers. See you guys later. Love, Christina xo
I don't think i grew up in an abusive household. Birthdays and holidays were always made special. My cruelties were usually at the hands of other children and no good teachers. I was the fat foreign child. We did have an odd life in that life was one way for the two weeks dad was at sea and then for 3 or 4 days dad was the center of attention. He would sail again and the "norm" would be back. I never came from a demonstrative family, but you always knew you were loved by the things that were done to make you feel special. My brother was much older than me and he was more of a father figure. When his kids came along they were my babies too. I made all sorts of halloween costumes and baked special birthday cakes for them. My SIL never had to worry about a baby sitter. As the boys grew up I was the one they found comfort to tell about their broken hearts. We always had so much fun being together. Laughing and joking and rememebering old times. How did that change so suddenly? Last New Years Eve we were together to bring in the New Year and my nephew blew up and kicked me out his house. Its all been downhill since then. Ive been accused of abusing my mother, stealing her money, sponging of her, lying and on and on. No one wants to help with mom or take responsibility to care for her. The lastest is my sister demands I get rid of my b/f who is recovering from his heart attack before she will give any funds to care for mom. This is the sister also saying I'm only taking care of mom so I can get her house that we have lived in for 9 years. Im amazed and dumbfounded by each new accusation. My depression is getting worse everyday. I find my self planning my death. I already have all mom's doctors listed and her medications and when she takes them. They have the name of the agencies that care for mom 8a-2p daily. Ive been thinking of taking my 401k out to pay off bills and leave enough for my burial. I know suicide will negate the life insurance I've been paying, but I know my sister and brother have the funds to care for mom. I'm just tired of being their whipping boy and the object of their hatred. I'm just a fing slave for them
Diane, Why are you caring for your Mom? What is the alternative? Do your siblings want to do it and work it into their schedules? you must step back and regain some objectivity about your situation. We support you, you know it, but it is scary to me when you say things like that. Please talk to a professional and let your family help you make some changes. If I went to my sister and brother with the message you just gave, I know they would do something!!!! Please, Diane.
diane flex . if ur sister has the funds and only says first get rid of ur boyfriend , mm i would have told her to get rid ofher husband and get in here to take care of mom cuz ure going to go live with ur boyfriend and take care of him . if sis rules the rules and wears the pants around th ehousethen by gosh it sounds like to me she wants to take care of mom . let her ! flex u did it for 9 years jesus christ , get away !! its drivin u insane and into deeper depressions , honey girlfriend u need to hand the house and mom on over to ur sister ! . ending ur life doesnt not solve any pblms only ure dead and cant move on , but ur family they ll heal and move on . nanana take couple xannie and get on the phone and tel ur sister that u have decided to give it all up and she come get mom or stay with mom , u done ur share for 9 years and its time for u to move on ., go stay with ur boyfriend and put a smile on ur face knowing u have companiship for life ! ur mom isnt going to be around much longer and it is not fair for u to give up ur man u love and kiss ur sisters butt , nananana . pack ur bags and go get away from all this maddness and honey dear once they have mom in thier hands honest to god they ll see where ure comin from and honest to god ure gonna smile and snicker away heeheee now they get the pciture and please letthem do it for 9 yrs and see if they end up walkin in ur shoes by then . takin ur own life is not worth it to ur sis , just only gains extra money on her hands cuz ure dead and u dont get ur share . fock it all man . u go be with the man u love and enjoy the rest of ur life with him cuz dear life is too short and lrd wil take u when ur time is up . u are not to end ur life without the lord doing it so . he is the one to end it not you .... take a couple xannie and feelin the calmess and go call ur sis and meow and purr at er , callit quits , im done sis .... xoxox
deflex- i was thinking if u end ur life now by gosh ur mom be going soon afterwards ! u ll never be free from her . pop up and say oh there u are diane i been lookin for ya ! noooooooooooo dont do that flexxxx ! she come and find ya ! plz post back later and let us all know , we care great deeply about u dear . xoxo
Diane: THINK OF THE BOAT!!! Really, you are too tired, Diane. I know how you feel. Call someone to come watch Mom and get some sleep or get out of house, whatever you need. Please come back online and tell us who you are going to call and what they say. Tu Estas La Hermana de nos Corazones!!! En abrazo, siempre.
Diane I sent you a private message on FB. Please read it. You are so special to all of us. And you have many choices here besides the final, irrevocable one.
Christina, I don't understand you when you speak ....spanish? I love you anyways though. :)
Diane, I can feel your emotional wounds. Yes you have been beaten down and depressed. Your Sister and your family doesn't have any clue as to what you have sacrificed for your Mother. If you have gotten to the point to where you are so depressed that you want to give up and die you MUST ask for help. Diane there is another way out of this misery, I promise you there is. You are a really good person and you deserve to have your life be your own and fill it with love and meaning. Your family obviously doesn't treat you the way they should and you can't change how they are toward you but you don't have to "buy in" to their wrong views of you. Have you thought of packing your Mother up and taking her to your Sister and saying here she is all yours, you take all the responsibility now, I'm done. Or tell your Sister you are moving out, and drop your Mother in her lap. There is no shame in doing this if it means your LIFE. It doesn't undo all that you've done. It's okay for you to give up caregiving, it's not okay for you to give up your life. If you need to talk more please email me, or email me your phone number if you want and I will call you. You Life matters, you are loved and appreciated. There is a better way, let me and others help you to see this.
That's pretty neat. I have been singing all of my life also. I started teaching myself to play the piano a little over three years ago while I was babysitting a friends piano. When we moved I had to leave it behind. I always wanted to learn, but my parents never had the funds for lessons; and then I never had the funds for lessons, but when my husband found me an old piano for Christmas last year I was thrilled. A favorite one that I've learned is a song by Yiruma called "Kiss the Rain" and another called "The River flows in you." Don't worry about what anyone does or says or doesn't do or doesn't say. Play for yourself. The best therapy, I have found, is sitting at the piano and letting the music flow.
Hey christina28 That's pretty neat. I have been singing all of my life also. I started teaching myself to play the piano a little over three years ago while I was babysitting a friends piano. When we moved I had to leave it behind. I always wanted to learn, but my parents never had the funds for lessons; and then I never had the funds for lessons, but when my husband found me an old piano for Christmas last year I was thrilled. A favorite one that I've learned is a song by Yiruma called "Kiss the Rain" and another called "The River flows in you." Don't worry about what anyone does or says or doesn't do or doesn't say. Play for yourself. The best therapy, I have found, is sitting at the piano and letting the music flow.
Hi angelhair! I did that the other day on a very important answer on a different thread, and I said Duh! heehee Anyway, I am 60 years old now, although I have the mentality of a 20 year old, and yes, I play and sing whenever the hell I want to. I just finished playing and singing "Midnight Sun", which was recorded by June Christy and Billie Holliday. I like jazz and Great American songbook:)
I have put a call in to Diane, Friends. Left a message for her. Maybe it is dinner time there. She is in Columbia, SC, so hope she will get back to us after dinner. Love you guys. Praying and sending good thoughts to Diane/Flex!!!! xoxoxo
Im still here. I need to take care of some business and put things in order tomorrow so mom will be taken care of. Mom isnt the main problem, its the rejection and condemnation, If mom died after me, at least i'd have my best friend back, the way she used to be. Im should be save for the night, cookig dinner or mom and james
flex ! good to see u posting ! have a happy dinner girlfriend , u just worry about u mom and james . dont worry about siblings , theyre the last thing u ever want to think of , times a changin and theyre turnin into a snobb hateful , lord is shakin his head , screw tthem ! u just focus on urself , mom , wonderful boyfriend . if ure depress so is james and ur mom . dont wanna do that , starting tonite things will change and make u stronger my friend ..... love ya ..
angelhair ! welcome . im not sure who ure caring for , i cant remmy now . damn im old already , well i am old , heehee . i did read about ur toothbrush deal lol . lucky my dad has his own bathroom so i dont have to worry about him gettin hd of mine . whew my goodness . had supper and now dishes lookin and wavin at me and im thinkin where in t he hel is my sis in law , shes the ones that loves to do dishes waaaa . hubby s gone to bed , he has to work sat and sunday he s not happy camper , tld him soon u be on vacation and be off till next year , now he s lookin fwrd to it , alrighty i best go get my dishes done , i like to watch gifted man on tv , he s a hubba hubba mooooooooooo meow . love ya all xoxox
Diane--what are you fixing for dinner? I just found out we are not leaving until morning, so I am glad to be here tonight to support you, Diane. OK--Linda, who is hubba hubba guy? Do you mean Simon Baker on Mentalist? He is very sexy. Usually I go for the Latin types, just the whole Mediterranean region, actually. But, he is a Robert Redford kinda type. Whoo Hoo! What happened to your crush on Kevin Costner? Boy, LindaHeart, you a a fickle girl, you are. Angelhair--my favorite pasta, btw--takes care of EVERYONE!!! Linda, she has FOUR kids, a husband--you know how they can be--and a FIL and a GM. I think? Am I correct, angelhair? Maybe she has 6 dogs and 5 cats, too, like some of you. One cat, one husband, one Mother, two kids out of the house is more than enough for moi. Cricket: I said, "Diane, we are the Sisters of your Heart. Hugs, always" I can get along in Mexico very well with my Spanish lingo. Once, I sat next to a cute Italiano on a plane from Seattle to San Francisco. He spoke Italian, I spoke Spanish, and at the end of the flight, I spoke Spanish with an Italian accent. You can't see it, but my hands move as well. Rosella knows. It is more difficult when we are conversing on the keyboards, a mano. The BOAT, is our Haven of safety, Friendship, and Support. Diane, keep writing to us tonight, and tell me what you fixed. I like your rice dish you posted on Fav. Recipes. I have not had the time to post the lentil stew yet, but it is so warming. I know Cricket wants us to post really healthy recipes, and this one is, but it is spicy with cumin and tomatoes. Lilli is drooling. Lilli, please stop. Back Later, in a flash.
Diane, I have lost most of my family too. My sister and brother, etc. refused to stay at Mom's house because I had moved my boyfriend in. I really have 3 or 4 people left in my family who care about me plus my husband of course. I have made some mistakes and I have been shamed and made to feel so guilty and my actions misinterpreted and believe me, I have had suicidal thoughts many times. But, it is not my time and my husband needs me and God is not ready for me. Diane, the people that matter are you and your mom and James and your friends. Your family is evil. I am sorry but they are putting you in such a horrible spot. If anything, get your mom taken care of for awhile and go to the emergency room. It breaks my heart that you are feeling this way. Please do not leave us. And remember, things will get better. It may not seem that way now but they will. I have come to the realization that if my family can not accept me and my husband then so be it. My husband and my dear friends are my family. You have so many people that love you.
christina - the new show comes on fri night , the gifted man , hes a doctor there , i do not know his name , all i know he is a hubba hubba moooooooo , of course kevin costner is a meoowww! ohh lalala . pewey i smell a dead dog in here , man i do not like the smell of her skin barf barf , about half way tempted to kick her back outside but i cant do that , poor ole hips , damn it ! she was very happy to see bandit , brag all about it to hubby , ya shall have seen his forhead , no linda we agreed ! i said oh ure puttin word sinmy mouth , noo u did saythis and that i said well whatever i changed my mind . noo damn it linda u agree , phhhhhhttttttttt ... guess if the guy dont show up tmr then bandit shall be mine , is that right rossella ? lalala lilli where are u ? rossella , yooho anybody home ?
Patrick Wilson. Very cute. Not my type. I like the rugged type, cause I like my guys to be tougher than I am. haha! Rossella is sleeping, I think? It's 1:45 am in Roma. I love each of you. Just like snowflakes: all different, all beautiful, all unique. That is what makes each of us so valuable. We are all part of the giant jig saw puzzle. We are all necessary: our purposes, our ideas, our caring hearts. Love you, Diane. Love you, LindaHeart. Love you, Miz. Love you, Cricket, Love you, Kim. Love you, Carolyn. Love you, Jen. Love you, Rip. Love you, Ann. Love you, BJ. Love you, SelfishSiblings. Love you, Kuli. Love you, MsM. Love you, Cuz. Love you, Captain. I even Love myself. Get the point? heehee
Just watched Monster In Law (Jane Fonda and Jen Lopez) with my husband. There's a line when an exhausted Lopez (left to care for Fonda for a week), says "I need to sleep! She's driving me insane! I can't do this anymore!" And thus I thought of all of you. ---------- I once met Jane Fonda in a public restroom at a Teen Pregnancy conference she hosted in Atlanta (1996). The restroom was so crowded she had to turn my shoulders to pass by me when she left the stall.
I once met Peter Fonda when he came into a hotel in Tawas Michigan where I was tending bar (1975) and ordered whiskey shots with milk chasers. ---------- I appreciate you all. I wish we all lived close enough to help one another. That would be cool.
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Remember when Friday was longed for all week? Pay day, date night, football game, leaving for a weekend getaway - whatever - it was THE best day. I miss that.
Caregiving our elderly often leaves us with the feeling that one day is very much as another - especially if our elder is one who never sought out the joy in life to begin with. My Mom was like that. She lived her life - at least when I knew her - in a washed out 'black and white' way. No depth, no sparkle, no intense feelings one way of the other - just 'flat'. The only thing I saw Mom excited about was her when she thought she had possession of a rare dime that was worth millions. She got so ga ga over this that I bought, highlighted and bookmarked a coin book before I could convince her that 'her dime' was worth only about 25 cents. Then there was the Readers Digest or PCH sweepstakes she was so certain she would win she made me promise I'd accompany her to NYC.
Sigh . . . but Mom never got excited about real life. I didn't truly realize this as a child. When I was about 11 there was a Zale's ad in the newspaper for a 'mother's bracelet, and Dad covertly agreed to help me get it for Mother's day. I looked up the birthstones for Moms three kids and her one grandchild at the time, and went to Zale's and ordered it - even paid extra to have it gift wrapped. I was SO excited when the day came to give this special gift to my mom. She opened the package, laid the bracelet across her wrist, and the next moment threw it across the room - stating that it wasn't large enough to fit her wrist. That was the only time I ever heard Dad yell at my Mom . . .shaming her. I never saw the bracelet - ever again. No apologies were ever made. My Mom seemed to default to unhappy, and to take pleasure in sharing her unhappiness to those around her.
I prefer, even now with so many things in my life not as I wish them to be - to try my best to live my life in bold, vivid Technicolor rather than washed out black and white. Bring in the surround sound and the smell-o-vision! Embrace the good and the bad, the heartache as well as the joy and be grateful for the ability to FEEL the emotions that make us truly human. Be grateful I have people who love me, and who would be pleased to receive any gift I may give them - whether it fits or not - because it was given with love.
I miss my Mom, I loved my Mom - but I never, ever sought to emulate the way she lived her life.
Blah blah blah - these thoughts spring into my head and I have to get them OUT.
Venting . . .that is why we're here, right?
Love you guys. I will shut up now - my gift to all of you!
Don't shut up M it makes me feel better to know there are others who understand not just who sit back and think why doesn't she shut up and get a life if she is so unhappy...
ADH day few errands two hours sleep.....Good Weekend all..
other day daughter and i and granddaughter too . was lookin at all my neckist that hubby for me for cmas every year . i told my daughter well now u all girls gotta fight over who gets this who gets that , when im dead and gone . she didnt like to hear that part of me begin dead and gone ~~~ granddaughter said i want that cross necklist , which im wearing now . but anyways im glad that i love life , and yes i love bobbie s coffee too . missing it . shall make another weekend trip just for her coffee and that bed ! geeze u lay on it and poof ure fast sound asleep . so comfty ! missin u too bobbie ~~~ .
jsomebody - we all care about you and u are a wonderful person inside and out . dont let ur faimly tell u any diffrent cuz this side of cybers families loves you and we think of u all the time . big hugs to u jenny girl ...
alrighty pa s speakin german , try so hard to understand him . do u want to lay on ur side or on ur back . gibberish blah blah . uhh on ur back ?. giber giber , oh u want on ur side ?, YEAH he says , rolled him over to his back . sleepin like a baby now .
sheba is all perked up cuz bandit is back home again . i have never seen sheba smiled so big ! she hop and hop and bark happy . bandits like ohh mommmmmyyyyyyyyy and he licked her face . that broke my heart . he is so happy to be back home , hated it over my sons house , he was annoyee and wouldnt mind and chewed up everything thats in the yard . my son said grrr he barked all night and all day . damn him . he brought him back last night and now he s happy camper and so is sheba .
the guy called my daughter and said he has 11 acres of land and he needs a good barking dogs to let him know if theres someone on his property and he lives not far from here , mmmm he said he s coming tmr to see him . if he decides he wants him then im gonna ask if it be ok we come visit him every now and then . :-) if he said uhhh i dont want him t hen i sure hope in hell that i can throw myself on the floor and throw tantrum at my hubby to keep him lol , i love bandit , he just needs a good lovin .
alrighty im blabbin away i best get my hindend in third gear , love u all and have a good day xoxox
austin - dont work too hard chrocheing , xoxo
MsM... Hmmmm? Similar observances and experiences and ponderings of my own Mother. Unusual behaviors I saw in her, from my old soul as a child. We are so different from them. Our children reflect that. I see the photo of hour daughters and know how they love and admire you. My daughter, the same. My son, that's something else I have turned over. His behavior is in no way reflective of the love and life he was shown growing up. But, just as we are surrounded by those poor souls who missed out on the piñata candy, I told him the other day, I will survive his hatred. I hope he does.
Anyway, fantastic post, Barb. I agree with Jen-- don't ever shut up around us. You put your words together in a harmonius, technocolor style, and it is appreciated by all.
About 30 some years ago, I was visiting my Mother for the weekend. In the evening, we were sitting on the sofa 'having a conversation', but really it was watching TV, because that is what people do so they don't have to talk to each other. She became amazed over some philosophical idea I had about life and asked me. "how and what" would make me think of things like that? I said that was how my mind worked and what type of things did she think about every day. She answered-- and this is one of those 'brands' in my memory--"Oh, what am I going to wear today, what am I going to have for lunch...things like that."
Non-plussed is a good word to describe my reaction. I think I decided to watch whatever was on the tube. Sigh. Keep venting. Love you All! Christina xo
She also used TV as a weapon . . . Mom had several ways to wake us as kids. One was to stand over our beds and beat a pot with a metal spoon. Really.
Another as to stand and flick the lights rapidly yelling "get up get up get up" as if it were a fire drill.
And then there was the TV. Ours was a small (bout 1200sf) house. Mom would turn on the local morning show and turn the volume UP AS HIGH AS IT WOULD GO just as the elderly once-almost-was-an-opera-singer woman came on to do her 'entertainment' bit. Oh, the horror of that aged contralto vibrato resounding throughout the house with renditions of "A tisket, a tasket" or other such banalities. It STILL haunts me.
This TV as a weapon was also how I learned of RFK's death. Brother and I had turned off the TV right after Bobby said "It's on to Chicago and lets win there". (Brother and I took a keen interest in RFK and ending the war - our brother was in Vietnam for his 2nd tour). Mom woke us with the news of his shooting not with tender condolences but with the news bulletins at full volume the next morning.
I am continually amazed at how much emotional abuse many of us lived through as children. Maybe it's the reason we are caregivers today. Maybe we are still trying to get our Parents love and approval along with doing what we believe is the right thing to do. Barb, I'm sorry you had to endure that with your Mother but I must say you didn't let it drag you down, you rose above it and that is a really good lesson to bring with you in life.
I'm in a rush to get outta here and get grocery shopping done so I will say bye for now. Love you all and sending warm wishes for you today.
Chirp Chirp Cricket
Been cleaning my house after the high winds yesterday. Windows and floors everything. Much better. We're leaving in 2 hours so going to wrap it up and get ready. I'll check in on the drive home tonight.
Barb: here's a lovely memory: I have sung since I was 18 months old and played
the piano since I was 5. After dinner many nights, after I had cleaned up the kitchen, washed the dishes, put everything away, I would sit at my piano while Mother and step father were still sitting at table in kitchen talking. I would play one of their favorite songs-- his was Stranger on the Shore", Mother like show tunes-- she was a singer, too. After a few bars, they would come into the living room and say, " we're going to watch TV now". Not, "that was lovely, chris, thanks for playing one of my favorites", but always the passive agressive approach-- guess what we want you to Stop doing now? Never a mention of my talent. I went on to win the Natl. School Choral Award, however, in 1969. It was my personal goal I set as a freshman. So, neener neener, idiot, unaware losers.
See you guys later. Love, Christina xo
take couple xannie and get on the phone and tel ur sister that u have decided to give it all up and she come get mom or stay with mom , u done ur share for 9 years and its time for u to move on ., go stay with ur boyfriend and put a smile on ur face knowing u have companiship for life ! ur mom isnt going to be around much longer and it is not fair for u to give up ur man u love and kiss ur sisters butt , nananana . pack ur bags and go get away from all this maddness and honey dear once they have mom in thier hands honest to god they ll see where ure comin from and honest to god ure gonna smile and snicker away heeheee now they get the pciture and please letthem do it for 9 yrs and see if they end up walkin in ur shoes by then .
takin ur own life is not worth it to ur sis , just only gains extra money on her hands cuz ure dead and u dont get ur share . fock it all man . u go be with the man u love and enjoy the rest of ur life with him cuz dear life is too short and lrd wil take u when ur time is up . u are not to end ur life without the lord doing it so . he is the one to end it not you .... take a couple xannie and feelin the calmess and go call ur sis and meow and purr at er , callit quits , im done sis .... xoxox
plz post back later and let us all know , we care great deeply about u dear . xoxo
Really, you are too tired, Diane. I know how you feel. Call someone to come watch Mom and get some sleep or get out of house, whatever you need.
Please come back online and tell us who you are going to call and what they say.
Tu Estas La Hermana de nos Corazones!!! En abrazo, siempre.
You are so special to all of us. And you have many choices here besides the final, irrevocable one.
Diane, I can feel your emotional wounds. Yes you have been beaten down and depressed. Your Sister and your family doesn't have any clue as to what you have sacrificed for your Mother. If you have gotten to the point to where you are so depressed that you want to give up and die you MUST ask for help. Diane there is another way out of this misery, I promise you there is. You are a really good person and you deserve to have your life be your own and fill it with love and meaning. Your family obviously doesn't treat you the way they should and you can't change how they are toward you but you don't have to "buy in" to their wrong views of you. Have you thought of packing your Mother up and taking her to your Sister and saying here she is all yours, you take all the responsibility now, I'm done. Or tell your Sister you are moving out, and drop your Mother in her lap. There is no shame in doing this if it means your LIFE. It doesn't undo all that you've done. It's okay for you to give up caregiving, it's not okay for you to give up your life. If you need to talk more please email me, or email me your phone number if you want and I will call you. You Life matters, you are loved and appreciated. There is a better way, let me and others help you to see this.
Love Cricket
I have put a call in to Diane, Friends. Left a message for her. Maybe it is dinner time there. She is in Columbia, SC, so hope she will get back to us after dinner.
Love you guys. Praying and sending good thoughts to Diane/Flex!!!! xoxoxo
angelhair ! welcome . im not sure who ure caring for , i cant remmy now . damn im old already , well i am old , heehee . i did read about ur toothbrush deal lol . lucky my dad has his own bathroom so i dont have to worry about him gettin hd of mine . whew my goodness .
had supper and now dishes lookin and wavin at me and im thinkin where in t he hel is my sis in law , shes the ones that loves to do dishes waaaa .
hubby s gone to bed , he has to work sat and sunday he s not happy camper , tld him soon u be on vacation and be off till next year , now he s lookin fwrd to it ,
alrighty i best go get my dishes done , i like to watch gifted man on tv , he s a hubba hubba mooooooooooo meow .
love ya all xoxox
I just found out we are not leaving until morning, so I am glad to be here tonight to support you, Diane.
OK--Linda, who is hubba hubba guy? Do you mean Simon Baker on Mentalist? He is very sexy. Usually I go for the Latin types, just the whole Mediterranean region, actually. But, he is a Robert Redford kinda type. Whoo Hoo! What happened to your crush on Kevin Costner? Boy, LindaHeart, you a a fickle girl, you are. Angelhair--my favorite pasta, btw--takes care of EVERYONE!!! Linda, she has FOUR kids, a husband--you know how they can be--and a FIL and a GM. I think? Am I correct, angelhair? Maybe she has 6 dogs and 5 cats, too, like some of you.
One cat, one husband, one Mother, two kids out of the house is more than enough for moi.
Cricket: I said, "Diane, we are the Sisters of your Heart. Hugs, always" I can get along in Mexico very well with my Spanish lingo. Once, I sat next to a cute Italiano on a plane from Seattle to San Francisco. He spoke Italian, I spoke Spanish, and at the end of the flight, I spoke Spanish with an Italian accent. You can't see it, but my hands move as well. Rosella knows. It is more difficult when we are conversing on the keyboards, a mano.
The BOAT, is our Haven of safety, Friendship, and Support. Diane, keep writing to us tonight, and tell me what you fixed. I like your rice dish you posted on Fav. Recipes. I have not had the time to post the lentil stew yet, but it is so warming. I know Cricket wants us to post really healthy recipes, and this one is, but it is spicy with cumin and tomatoes. Lilli is drooling. Lilli, please stop.
Back Later, in a flash.
love,
miz
pewey i smell a dead dog in here , man i do not like the smell of her skin barf barf , about half way tempted to kick her back outside but i cant do that , poor ole hips , damn it ! she was very happy to see bandit , brag all about it to hubby , ya shall have seen his forhead , no linda we agreed ! i said oh ure puttin word sinmy mouth , noo u did saythis and that i said well whatever i changed my mind . noo damn it linda u agree , phhhhhhttttttttt ... guess if the guy dont show up tmr then bandit shall be mine , is that right rossella ? lalala
lilli where are u ? rossella , yooho anybody home ?
I love each of you. Just like snowflakes: all different, all beautiful, all unique. That is what makes each of us so valuable. We are all part of the giant jig saw puzzle. We are all necessary: our purposes, our ideas, our caring hearts.
Love you, Diane. Love you, LindaHeart. Love you, Miz. Love you, Cricket, Love you, Kim. Love you, Carolyn. Love you, Jen. Love you, Rip. Love you, Ann. Love you, BJ. Love you, SelfishSiblings. Love you, Kuli. Love you, MsM. Love you, Cuz. Love you, Captain. I even Love myself. Get the point? heehee
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I once met Jane Fonda in a public restroom at a Teen Pregnancy conference she hosted in Atlanta (1996). The restroom was so crowded she had to turn my shoulders to pass by me when she left the stall.
I once met Peter Fonda when he came into a hotel in Tawas Michigan where I was tending bar (1975) and ordered whiskey shots with milk chasers.
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I appreciate you all. I wish we all lived close enough to help one another. That would be cool.