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Rosella, Our favorite scientist, Albert Einstein said : "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character." What do you expect? I believe that our trouble with siblings is due to their weaknesses coming up against our strengths. We all are Super Women. As it is, our compassion for even our adversaries causes us to absorb the weakness instead of ignoring their pathetic attempts to make us look bad and themselves crusaders. Has anyone ever asked the siblings, "What would you have me do instead of what I am doing?" What do they say? Mine say nothing. Kicking the dog after it has rescued the cat is how it seems. I will delay the taking of a sleep aid to stay up and read the story. I have no more stories: my brother is sympathetic but is incapable of helping except through verbal encouragement--which is the same as we give each other here; and my sister is a phantom--she exists only through an email, but not even the slightest bit as real as any of you. Mother was a bit better yesterday, sitting straight for a while and animated. Seeing her every day is helping. Her cough is productive. I am amazed at the spark within her that is a force separate from her physicality or dementia. I would call it her soul's fight to hang onto the body, a life force that is avoiding making a decision until it has all the information... It is cold again and raining, so I cannot take her outside, just See's candy and share a sliced and peeled Jazz apple this afternoon. Hope Ann's Mom is comfortable, Diane's Mom calm, Carolyn's Mom bee-having, Kim's and Cricket's Dads cooperating. I know Linda's Pa is. Sending love to all of you: Captain, Miz, Jen, Rip, Cuz, Austin, Kuli, Careshare, BJ, Selfish Siblings, Anniegirl, Pirate, Deefer, Headbanger... newbies meanwhile2 and angelhair... Barb, Rosella, LindaHeart, a very chirpy Cricket. Hugs, Christina xo
Christina you almost killed me...I am laughing so hard my sick head exploded and I almost fell off the chair ...Not IN A THONG wearing thongs, the old term for flip flops @!!! In a thong !??? AT THIS 7 11!!! I'd be arrested for soliciting!!!
man, got a lot of phlegm out though! even after swigging the cough syrup!!!
That was hysterical! Had me in tears! The good kind! Needed that spontaneous laughter! Love you guys! Thanks Jen and Christina for bringing on that laughter! Nothing better for the soul!
Oh Jen! Glad I could be of service. Laughter is the Best Medicine, and a good healthy cough-up is just what the doctor ordered. heehee That is one reason I take my Mother outside for a walk in her wheelchair, to get her blood flowing, I hit the bumps on the sidewalk just enough to get her to exclaim! I'm not going to dump her out of the chair, just get her to look alive. Anyway, it's good for one to have a little shock once in a while, doncha think? Love you, Jen!! xo
Checking in . . . husband's phone interview happened and the result was that husband (once again) is deemed overqualified for the Cleveland job. The pinprick of light is that he may be well-suited for a job with the same company in Memphis. Given the choice, Memphis is a far better fit for us - we have spent time there. Memphis is misquitoey and humid and muddy and crime-ridden and - i would be happy to live there. So whiloe others decide our fate, we are back to waiting and hoping and with the holiday season bearing down upon us it may be more than 2 weeks before we hear anything further . . .sigh.
I appreciate being able to come here still. I have nothing to offer these days save my love and respect for all of you and the tireless, often thankless jobs you have before you every day. Love you guys.
Grandma fell again. We had to call the ambulance this time. She felt tingling up and down her right side. We got her home and she was fine. She was really tired for about a day and then she was raring to go. It's always hard when Grandma falls. I count myself lucky because she hasn't broken anything yet. The doctor says she most likely won't because she has the bone density of a twenty-three year old. At 96! can you believe it? She seems to bounce. There must be angels watching over her. Although, about five years ago she had a bad fall in the shower while visiting her daughter. She hit her head so hard that it mimicked stroke symptoms. At first they thought she had had a stroke, but then they found that what caused the symptoms was the fall itself. All that happened was that she had slipped in the shower. She is up and about now, but for a while it was very touch and go. We did not know if she was going to pull through. Anyway, because of her earlier fall she tends to drag her left foot when she walks and that makes her trip. I'm glad that she's a little woman and as light as a feather because all I have to do is pick her right up; but we always worry when she falls because we are afraid of a repeat.
Speaking of falling. I have to toot my own horn. We got home from picking up Grandma a few days ago and we had Dad-in-law carrying her walker into the house. anyway, I had my hands full of bags and was bent down filling the dogs water bowl next to the steps when Mom-in-law yells "Angela! He's falling!"; anyway, I turn to see Dad-in-law falling towards me with the walker in tow. Now you have to realize that although I am 5'8" and 160 lbs Dad-in-law is 6'3" and 200 lbs. Anyway, my left hand is full of bags, but I still managed to push him back up into a standing position and manuever him through the doorway without dropping a single thing with no effort at all! Someone had to be helping me; maybe there are angels out there.
Dtflex, depression is a very hard thing to get out of. Make sure you take time for yourself and don't worry about the little things. Find something that you really enjoy and go do it. Even if you don't feel like doing it do it anyway. I don't know that I was in an actual depression, but I was really bad off a few years back after my youngest child was born. I really didn't want to do anything, my music held no interest for me, I didn't want to draw or read or even visit with anyone, none of the things I loved held any interest at all. I had a hard time pulling myself out of bed to take care of my kids. I felt as though I accomplished nothing anyway so what was the point; and I just didn't feel as if I deserved anything good at all. I guess you could say I was really just going day by day. My husband was very worried about me. He started making me get out of the house and do things wether I wanted to or not. He was such a blessing. I don't know that I would have pulled out of it without his support. Well, I probably would have eventually, but it would have been a whole lot harder. Anyway, for me I forced myself to try new things, but the important thing was to not be at home any more than I had to and to get my old self back. It seemed to take forever, but eventually I started to feel like my old self again; and I found something new that I really enjoyed; that I really like physical exursion. Now, whenever I have the time I head to the club house to work out at the gym for an hour followed by an hour of swimming laps. I push and push and push and then when I'm spent I follow it up with a nice relaxing soak in the hot tub; I might just be crazy, but it works for me and I usually feel much better for it. I find it to be a great stress relief to push myself and then the soak in the hot tub is my reward. I'm not saying to go once a week and work yourself to the bone at the gym. What I'm saying is that you are a special individual and you need to remember that you are important. Find something that you enjoy and do it. Take care of yourself and don't feel guilty for doing it. Even though I 'm taking care of everyone else, I'm still taking care of me. And that is important because how can you take care of the things you need to if you yourself is not up to par. Anyway, I've gotta go. I hope you can get to feeling better. Remember we are all here for you.
Beautiful stories, Angelhair... Our relatives are very different from one another, though, they have something in common: they make us crazy! The story I have to tell is something that 90% of you know even too well. Every year on December 26 we cousins meet for the annual cousins meeting. It's very nice (uncles and aunts are invited, too) and we always have fun. This meeting has been held at my brother's house for the last years. I called him one week ago and told him that I cannot drive anymore in the night, so I asked him if my mother and I could come together with Daniela (my helper) and her child, so that Daniela could drive the car in the evening. My brother + SIL said that it is a problem because they have many guests, so it will be difficult to find 2 places for Daniela and her child. I said "Okay, think it over... Let me know...." And I haven't heard from them since. They are still thinking of a way to tell me "No, don't come", (I think). Well, 2 days ago I talked to Franca, my wonder-cousin, on the phone, I told her about the problem and she said (after 2 seconds): "What's the problem? I can come with my car, pick up you and your mother, and I take you home in the evening" (this would mean for her driving 4 hours in the same afternoon) (Rome-country; country-Rome, Rome-country, Country Rome) (she lives in Rome not far from my brother!!!) I don't know yet if I have to accept and let her do such a crazy thing. I am sorry for her, she works so hard and she has to cook for 30 people on December 25. The only thing I am asking myself is: Why did my cousin find a solution in 2 seconds and my brother hasn't found one in one week? Why didn't he say: "I have two sons who can drive, one of them can pick you up, the other one can drive you home". Or: "I can find a little table somewhere, so we shall have 2 places more where to seat and eat". As we shall have a family lunch (just my brother and his family, my mother and I) for Christmas, I think he thinks it is enough. so my mother and I can stay home on the 26th and miss the cousins meeting. I am sorry because I like to see my cousins and my mother loves to see her family... I felt that they think my problem with my sight are just a nuisance and maybe it is my fault.
Christina, I haven't seen the movie " American Quilt". Will have to watch it. My grandmothers were quilters, as well as my favorite Aunt Rosie. Aunt Rosie's husband died of a heart attack in his 40's, They had no children, and she never remarried, but was everyone's favorite Aunt. Chewed tobacco, grew most of her own food, kept chickens and goats. Made feather mattresses for beds. Could whip up the best meals, from almost anything, and of course made hundreds of quilts. I'm fortunate enough to have a couple of them. She passed away almost 20 years ago. Rosella, sorry your brother is so thoughtless, and the rolling your mother onto a mattress on the floor, was what I had to do with my husband towards the end. But, it kept him from falling out of bed. You have to do what works. Angel, you are so right about getting out and doing something for yourself. Staying busy is saving me. Well, if I could just figure out some way to sleep at night. Living on lots of coffee lately. Take care everyone. Cuz, no jokes tonight?
Just chkn in real quick. I'm too tired to write much tonight. Mom did better than I thought she would with the surgery. They are sending her to rehab tomorrow. Hopefully things will get back to normal soon.
Love you all and hope things are going well. I haven't had time to read any posts yet. I will catch up soon.
AgingCare.com sent me an e-mail a couple of weeks ago and ask for my address so I e-mailed it back to the. Today I recieved a box from them and in it was a nice big coffee cup filled with some special kinds of tea. That was a pleasent surprise. I guess they like some of my jokes also. Sorry I couldn't post any tonight. Hopefully tommorro night will be alot better. Rossela I hope that you will be able to see your cousins. If I lived close enough I would be glad to take you there and back. Its crazy in such times of great blessings people only think of themselves. lovCuz
Meanwhile2, reading your post at 1:39am. I fell asleep at 7:30, then woke up at 10:30. I should have stayed in bed and taken my new sleep aid. I think it might help you. Alteril, got it at CVS. I just took it now and will probably sleep until 7 or 8. Cut back on coffee and have decaf green tea. Habits can be changed as soon as we find a better one. Your Aunt sounds interesting. Would love a feather bed. Ahhhhhh:) Cuz, I got email too but haven't received package.,Must be that weirdo California thing. Night Night. All. I think it's taking effect.....Zzzzzzzzz xo
I got the email also but was not sure it was on the level so would not give them my home address only my PO address so I did not get the gift -if they had handled it another way it would have been better-we are so often warned about scams it makes us afraid to give out information on line.I feel myseft going towards the black hole'
Oh great... my sick little sister has decided to come on Christmas day! She couldn't come when mom was alive, no, she comes after! Oh Lord, please don't let me deck her when she comes through the door... She's playing dad like a fiddle saying she's broke and could use some help from him; that means she's only coming up to get money from him! After the cost of mom's funeral, he's now broke! And, she's decided to spend the night. Wonder if it's possible that someone will come in the middle of the night and kidnap the witch!!! No, no one would want her. I wonder if a turkey can be used as a lethal weapon, LOL Some of you guys remember what she did to me three years ago!!! Asked her if she is ready to apologize to me and she said, "I don't want to break the Christmas spirit talking about my issues". What? Someone give me a damn straight jacket for her!!!!!
Still a frozen turkey should do the job-maybe I am better off with the brothers not really talking to me and I have the best sister in the world-now Mom is another kettle of fish but at 93 we are not going to change her.-just limit the am't of time with her
Turkey Bowling, BJ! Shouldn't you have a restraining order on her? I remember the story and it is despicable. Where is Barb? She will have a good legal, reasonable idea of how to handle it. Well, I am going to ask God to heap BLESSINGS upon you and your Dad--and your sister, as well. It is those whom we despise the most who need to be Blessed the most. It is just the way it goes. We get these awful circumstances and we have choices in how we sort it out. I am not saying I would let her pass the threshold. No, I would probably tell her she is not staying at the house, so get a hotel. BUT, mentally and or spiritually, take the high road. "Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you." You can separate the two. YOU will feel better, BJ, if you detach in love, and not fuel the ugliness. It's something I work on all the time. If she is mentally disturbed, it's similar to the dynamics of dementia, and another good reason to detach. Just a different perspective. Love you, and you're STILL STANDING!!! WHOO HOO!! It's a beautiful day here, clear, sunny and 66 degrees. Slept in until 7, got out of bed at 8, and I don't feel guilty at all. Will take my walk now, then walk with Mother when it warms up a bit. Have a great day everyone. I'll be glad when all the Shadow People go back underground after they are finished with their indulgence of commercialism. Too much scattered energy rampaging about. Love you ALL, HUGS! Christina xo
Still, get a big enough turkey to fit over her head. You would at least get a good laugh seeing her yell and scream with a turkey head!
Austin, STAY AWAY FROM THE BLACK HOLE....or at least look me up when you fall in....lol
Rossella, piss your brother off by letting Franca come get you. Franca loves you and is willing to go the extra miles for you. Offer to let her stay overnight with you in the country before she returns to Rome. Don't even tell your brother you have resolved the issue.
Why are the people that should love you the most turn out to be the biggest a$$holes?
Oh, I forgot... I had to wire her $100 to drive up here from Mobile! Said she didn't have any money... Dad told her that if she needed a place to live she could move in with us... Did I forget to tell you guys, she has six (6) birds!!!!! Oh hell no, this house is in my name!!!!!!!!!! Because of some kind of nerve disease, which she won't tell anyone what the name of it is, she's no longer working. Not to mention the mental disease, Help, anyone need some more company for Christmas, LOL
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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Kicking the dog after it has rescued the cat is how it seems.
I will delay the taking of a sleep aid to stay up and read the story. I have no more stories: my brother is sympathetic but is incapable of helping except through verbal encouragement--which is the same as we give each other here; and my sister is a phantom--she exists only through an email, but not even the slightest bit as real as any of you.
Mother was a bit better yesterday, sitting straight for a while and animated. Seeing her every day is helping. Her cough is productive.
I am amazed at the spark within her that is a force separate from her physicality or dementia. I would call it her soul's fight to hang onto the body, a life force that is avoiding making a decision until it has all the information... It is cold again and raining, so I cannot take her outside, just See's candy and share a sliced and peeled Jazz apple this afternoon.
Hope Ann's Mom is comfortable, Diane's Mom calm, Carolyn's Mom bee-having, Kim's and Cricket's Dads cooperating. I know Linda's Pa is. Sending love to all of you: Captain, Miz, Jen, Rip, Cuz, Austin, Kuli, Careshare, BJ, Selfish Siblings, Anniegirl, Pirate, Deefer, Headbanger... newbies meanwhile2 and angelhair... Barb, Rosella, LindaHeart, a very chirpy Cricket. Hugs, Christina xo
man, got a lot of phlegm out though! even after swigging the cough syrup!!!
too mcucuh I can't take it!@!!!
That is one reason I take my Mother outside for a walk in her wheelchair, to get her blood flowing, I hit the bumps on the sidewalk just enough to get her to exclaim! I'm not going to dump her out of the chair, just get her to look alive. Anyway, it's good for one to have a little shock once in a while, doncha think? Love you, Jen!! xo
I appreciate being able to come here still. I have nothing to offer these days save my love and respect for all of you and the tireless, often thankless jobs you have before you every day.
Love you guys.
The story I have to tell is something that 90% of you know even too well.
Every year on December 26 we cousins meet for the annual cousins meeting. It's very nice (uncles and aunts are invited, too) and we always have fun. This meeting has been held at my brother's house for the last years. I called him one week ago and told him that I cannot drive anymore in the night, so I asked him if my mother and I could come together with Daniela (my helper) and her child, so that Daniela could drive the car in the evening. My brother + SIL said that it is a problem because they have many guests, so it will be difficult to find 2 places for Daniela and her child. I said "Okay, think it over... Let me know...." And I haven't heard from them since. They are still thinking of a way to tell me "No, don't come", (I think). Well, 2 days ago I talked to Franca, my wonder-cousin, on the phone, I told her about the problem and she said (after 2 seconds): "What's the problem? I can come with my car, pick up you and your mother, and I take you home in the evening" (this would mean for her driving 4 hours in the same afternoon) (Rome-country; country-Rome, Rome-country, Country Rome) (she lives in Rome not far from my brother!!!)
I don't know yet if I have to accept and let her do such a crazy thing. I am sorry for her, she works so hard and she has to cook for 30 people on December 25.
The only thing I am asking myself is: Why did my cousin find a solution in 2 seconds and my brother hasn't found one in one week? Why didn't he say: "I have two sons who can drive, one of them can pick you up, the other one can drive you home". Or: "I can find a little table somewhere, so we shall have 2 places more where to seat and eat". As we shall have a family lunch (just my brother and his family, my mother and I) for Christmas, I think he thinks it is enough. so my mother and I can stay home on the 26th and miss the cousins meeting. I am sorry because I like to see my cousins and my mother loves to see her family... I felt that they think my problem with my sight are just a nuisance and maybe it is my fault.
Rosella, sorry your brother is so thoughtless, and the rolling your mother onto a mattress on the floor, was what I had to do with my husband towards the end. But, it kept him from falling out of bed. You have to do what works.
Angel, you are so right about getting out and doing something for yourself. Staying busy is saving me. Well, if I could just figure out some way to sleep at night. Living on lots of coffee lately. Take care everyone. Cuz, no jokes tonight?
We are getting older and things are getting bad here.
Gas prices are too high, no jobs, food and heating costs too high.
I know some have taken you out of our schools, government and even
Christmas, but Lord I'm asking you to come back
and re-bless America .
We really need you!
There are more of us who want you than those who don't!
Thank You Lord,
I Love you.
If you agree, send it on---if not just delete.
Only you & the Lord will know.
"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point."
Love you all and hope things are going well. I haven't had time to read any posts yet. I will catch up soon.
Ann
Sorry I couldn't post any tonight. Hopefully tommorro night will be alot better.
Rossela I hope that you will be able to see your cousins. If I lived close enough I would be glad to take you there and back. Its crazy in such times of great blessings people only think of themselves.
lovCuz
Hugs to both of you.
lovCuz
Cuz, I got email too but haven't received package.,Must be that weirdo California thing.
Night Night. All. I think it's taking effect.....Zzzzzzzzz xo
I've heard Turn About is fair play. Listen to her sad stories then call the same people she sicced on you for her?
Where is Barb? She will have a good legal, reasonable idea of how to handle it.
Well, I am going to ask God to heap BLESSINGS upon you and your Dad--and your sister, as well. It is those whom we despise the most who need to be Blessed the most. It is just the way it goes. We get these awful circumstances and we have choices in how we sort it out. I am not saying I would let her pass the threshold. No, I would probably tell her she is not staying at the house, so get a hotel. BUT, mentally and or spiritually, take the high road. "Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you." You can separate the two. YOU will feel better, BJ, if you detach in love, and not fuel the ugliness. It's something I work on all the time. If she is mentally disturbed, it's similar to the dynamics of dementia, and another good reason to detach. Just a different perspective. Love you, and you're STILL STANDING!!! WHOO HOO!!
It's a beautiful day here, clear, sunny and 66 degrees. Slept in until 7, got out of bed at 8, and I don't feel guilty at all. Will take my walk now, then walk with Mother when it warms up a bit.
Have a great day everyone. I'll be glad when all the Shadow People go back underground after they are finished with their indulgence of commercialism. Too much scattered energy rampaging about. Love you ALL, HUGS! Christina xo
Austin, STAY AWAY FROM THE BLACK HOLE....or at least look me up when you fall in....lol
Rossella, piss your brother off by letting Franca come get you. Franca loves you and is willing to go the extra miles for you. Offer to let her stay overnight with you in the country before she returns to Rome. Don't even tell your brother you have resolved the issue.
Why are the people that should love you the most turn out to be the biggest a$$holes?
I'll check back later. Take care dear friends.
Love ya,
Diane