Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You are a treasure beyond measure! You're more lustrous than a deepsea pearl, more exquisite than the rarest emerald and more radiant than the richest ruby. The truth? You shine more than silver, gold, or platinum, and sparkle brighter than any diamond. Because you're on-of-a-kind wonderful. And that is priceless! WW lovCuz
Omg! And I thought what my MIL does was gross! I've actually lost 50 lbs because of being so grossed out and exhausted. I take care of my MIL 24/7. 88yrs old with vascular dementia. At least I know I'm not alone! Thanks all : )
I'm sitting here crying since mom has been in her mean and hateful mood this evening. I just can't seem to distance myself from the verbal attacks. It just makes you feel so bad when she says things like she should have aborted me and I'm a disappointment and all the other wonderful comments. I know it's the dementia but it still hurts when I know I've given her everything I have mentally, physically and financially.
Dear Dtrfex: I think one of the hardest things about care giving is feeling alone and unappreciated. There's nothing worse than having the person you are sacrificing so much for spew hateful words at you. There is something so special between a mother and a daughter, whether it's reality or just desire, we want our mom's to love us, be our special support and comfort. I'm sorry your mom can't give that to you anymore. I hope she was able to in the past and that you have that to remember and cherish. I'm truly sorry your mom has dementia and says such heartless things to you. It can be a knife in the heart that is already grieving and stressed. Lots of love and best wishes to you.
I want to add one more thing. I've done a lot of reading and it seems to me that many of our parents never took on the care of their ailing elders. Some may have, but most didn't. Our grandparents grew old and passed away. There wasn't the medical intervention and prescription drugs to keep them going. I think we really are the sandwich generation. We have children, grandchildren and parents and we seem to get it from every angle; adult children struggling in this economy, grand kids needing help with college, parents living under our roofs in need of 24/7 care. My parents never had to deal with all of this. My heart goes out to all of us who do our best to keep all the "need balls" in the air, maintain a marriage and a sense of sanity.
Cattails, thanks for the kind words. My mom and I used to be best friends and did everything together. I guess that is why the mean words hurt so bad. I miss my pre-dementia mom. My mom was such a dynamic woman. Now all I see is a demanding old woman that doesn't care about anyone but herself.
I know we all have our own struggles to deal with each day and those that would give anything to be able to have their parent(s) back no matter the sacrifice involved. We miss then when they are here physically or passed on.
I hope everyone can have a good day and can find a moment for themselves. Take care everyone, Diane
My Mom-in -law was put on anti-depressants to combat the hatefulness and for the most part it helps, there are days when she wants her son to do everything for her and that's when she can get nasty. Telling her that is not very lady like does help sometimes. For the most part I walk away and tell myself it's not her it's the dementia. Bless your heart Dtflex! hang in there! I might add she is petrified of Nursing homes that is why she is with us.
Good first day of Daylight Saving Time Morning, Oh, Diane, I know that one of these days she will not be able to say those hurtful things to you. I think back a year ago and see how quickly my Mother has changed, and even though mine is still negative, now I feel so badly for her. I used to wonder why she was so mean and anxious, impatient and self-centered since I was a small child. I can see now that she must have had a mental illness from a very young age, caused by her Mother telling her she was "weak and stupid", which I think is worse than physical abuse. Unfortunately, she tried to do that to me, but even though I am sensitive and did suffer as a child, I did not truly believe that I was what she tried to put on me. I have fought it all my life, because of my personality. WhooHoo! I am glad I did and it brought me VICTORY! It feels so good to have power over mean people and succeed instead of letting them win with their hateful words. As a child, we are not as able to defend ourselves, but as adults, it is their false power through manipulation against our knowledge of the truth of our own abilities. You can override it with your knowledge of the facts! I laugh--in my mind-- at my Mother's now feeble attempts to manipulate because even though I am able to see it for what it is worth, I am a kind, loving person, and way stronger than she ever was. Who wants to believe negative shit about oneself? Remember the war cry of King Arthur: "I command you to fight! Never Surrender! Never Surrender!" I love that war cry. YOU CAN DO IT! Love, Chris
I think I set up the new formst hiding my wall. I will change it. I have trouble with techy stuff. Heehee. But I fix a mean guacamole and deadly margaritas! WhooHoo!! Thank you:)
Hmmm...If you are here on the Boat, we don't have to buy anything. It's free. I'll have a margarita with you. You bring the guacamole. Diane will fix the pork roast and Cricket will make a green drink for dessert. How's that sound? I fixed my wall. Now you may post a private comment for all the world to see. Cheers!
Good evening all, Diane, I'm sorry you're subjected to that kind of abuse by your Mother...even though you know she is sick it still hurts. It's very important for you to build yourself up and not give in to it. You know you are a good person. Where would your Mother be if not for her having you? It's okay for you to feel angry and hurt by her words.. in fact it would be normal. Start giving a little more of yourself to yourself, and don't give away everything you've got to your Mother because it leaves you with nothing. I am not just talking about the physical things you do for her, but the mental and emotional energies you put into everything you do as well. What I mean is do the best you can for your Mother but not to the point where you have nothing left of yourself... because when we give away all our energies we are left empty and once depleted like this it's so easy to give in and give up. Remember you're needs and see to them, even if it means you have to say NO to all the other demands.. reserve a little of the love you have for yourself. You deserve it.
Just one point I would also like to share about this and that is what your Mother said was wrong and it hurt absolutely but it might have happened in a few sentences for a few minutes or over a few hours. Don't make the mistake of repeating those hurtful words over and over in your head because by doing that you actually carry on the abuse and magnify it in your mind and thus magnify the pain of it only this time it's not coming from her but from yourself. This is a mistake that we all commonly make and I just wanted to remind you so you don't do this to yourself.
Have a good cry and know that we cry with you then pull yourself up and give yourself a hug and tell yourself you deserve better and you are strong because you would not be where you are if you were not.
Cricket, you are so nice. You take the time to explain everything and are generous in your nurturing. I like that about you;) and you make pretty pictures for us. And you are healthy!! Yay! I'm glad you are my friend:) We are blessed. xo
hello my dear crews . amen to what christina said about cricket ! she brings sunshine when the clouds are dark . christina - big hugs to you !! cheers``````
i am feeling lost , havent been to pa s room sinch the day he passed . found some of his socks in my dryer . :( i just held on to it and smelled it and hug it . oh dad ... eveytime i look at my phone i see dad s picture , i kiss his forehead every now and then . felt so werird to go somewhere and not havin anybody here to take care of dad . no tiime limit no nothing . i sleep alot more hours , i took a 4 hrs nap . missed a beautiful day , i dont feel good . coughin still and dr pescribe me stronger ones , 1tsp every 12 hrs . whoa . i take that at night only . lol makes my head swim ,,, going to be high 70 so i shall kick my ass and start digging in my flower bed . newcomers ! welcome .. i love this site and am so glad to be part of the boat .,
i best get off here and go do what ? think im just going to lay on the couch and maybe catch some more of the winks zzzzzzz. love you all !! xoxo
Evening all, My hubby's back from his fishing trip and he brought home a cooler full of mangrove snappers so I fixed a batch of fish for him and dad and they enjoyed it. Thanks for your nice words Christina and Linda, I am really glad I have friends like you! Linda don't expect to much of yourself for awhile.. you are going to need some time to recover your health. Just take those naps as much as you need to. I can relate to how you felt when you found Pa's socks in the dryer.. After my fil Charlie died years ago I kept one of his cotton shirts and I would sit and hold it at times while I would remember him. Then once when one of my girls said they really missed him I went and got the t-shirt and gave it to her to keep for awhile, then later she said it helped her but she thought I might want it back, LOL I took it back and still keep it. Charlie was special to me. So when I see you on the boat and you are holding a pair of socks know that I get it. :)
Welcome to all the new ones that have joined us!
Nighty night all, *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Evening, dear ones. LindaHeart, my sweet friend: as you indulge unexpected naps, your spirit is renewed and recharged. You take care of yourself and be in your dream world, for that is the transitional place for you right now. It is a gift from God. Your faithful and loving vigilance to Pa during his epilogue was the epitome of pure love. Seriously, I cannot find the words to express this adequately. I only know it was viewed from above with approval. The identity smells, memory smells. Comfort smells: Even now, I open the armoire in my office with my Mother's out of season clothes, and it hits me. Today, she was speaking normally and coherently. It is puzzling and a pleasant surprise. But I don't get my hopes up. It's a different kind of surprise. It is just enough to make me sad, and keep it to myself. Love you guys. Have a good night. Pleasant Dreams. xo
I survived the weekend. It wasn't too bad. I went to my mom's home 50 miles from where I live and installed a garden hose spigot for the tenant. Mom’s house had been empty since we moved Mom in with us 4 years ago. When mom left it, I had the unpleasant task of cleaning her house and disposing of most of the furniture. I had to get new insurance awhile back because her insurance cancelled. They don't like empty homes. Anyways I had "rented" it to my stepdaughter for awhile. That term rented is a misnomer. Rent implies that rent is paid and collected which really didn't happen. Daughter moved out (with my 3 grands) and moved back in with ...wait for it......ME! She ended up losing her job and couldn't afford rent and I although I let it ride for a few months it was the utilities that did her in. Funny how the electric company is a tad more brutal than dad and mom when bills go unpaid. The thing I feared the most came upon me. Daughter was back in our home. After moving in, my daughter started having my wife’s ex son-in-law visit. (I say ‘wife’s ex son-in-law’ because I never actually claimed him. Even when he was married to our daughter.) These two have been together since high school. Our daughter waited until I was gone on reserve duty to inform my wife that she was pregnant. That was probably a wise move on her part. I don’t have the time/energy to spill the whole story. This is abridged for sure. But nine years and three kids later. My daughter and my wife’s ex son-in-law (wesin) have been shacked up, married, divorced and re-shacked up. After our daughter left my mother’s home and landed in our house it was a tad bit of madness. We had our daughter, her 3 kids, my wife, me and our two boys and Mom living under one roof. Now I am an electrical engineer, the pay ain’t bad but I am not Donald Trump. (Beside the money difference I don’t have that ugly head of hair - I am folically challenged.) Also I don’t think I go round looking like I smelled a really bad fart. So we had nine humans living in a tri-level home built in the late 60’s. I insulated the garage and was in the process of making in more conducive to living in. But daughter threw a wrench into this situation. She began having WESIN over for visits. He did not stay overnight, but he was over often. WESIN is the father of our grands so I guess I gotta give him points for that. He is a screw up in most ways but I believe he loves the kids so I put up with him in small doses. Anyways one day my wife says to my WESIN and our daughter, "take your friends w/ benefits somewhere else! If you don't respect yourself at least respect your dad and I". I gotta say I was proud of my wife. That was about 7 months ago. Daughter and WESIN deadbeat have their own place now. In the meantime I managed to get Mom’s home rented to a honest to goodness rent paying tenant that keeps the place clean. I would really rather sell mom’s place but the market sucks and it is paid for. So for now I am landlord as well as Husband, Dad, breadwinner, and impatient son.
I hope my ramblings have not confused anyone. The whole thing confuses me at times. Thanks to some folks wise than me (as if that were a high bar) I am learning priorities. God-marriage-kids -mom. My wife and I have survived living on the set of Springer for several years (not litterally). We have survived bankruptcy, losing an unborn child, caring for her parents, daughters abusing drugs and a set of in-laws that make Springer folks look almost normal. During this time we managed to find the time to procreate and we had two sons that I love more than my life. We are still standing together (in spite of me).
I can hear the crowd chanting, "Igore, Igore, Igore!!!! Oh my gosh, it's so good to hear from you!!! So glad to know you don't go around looking like you smelled a really bad fart!! I'm sure you have reason to from time to time. I love that you are talking again. The silence was a loss to me. That took some good sense on the part of your wife to tell daughter and WESIN to find their own abode. You have survived a lot Igore, you and your lovely wife. Welcome home. Love, Cattails.
Feeling a little unappreciated at the moment. My family came to visit. Halelujia! It's been eight months since I've seen my parents. So glad they came for a week. Anyway, to sum up in case anyone doesn't know. I have four children and my husband works hard nights so he's not much help around the house. We live with my mother-in-law who is a full time nueral rehab nurse. And I take care of my husband's grandmother who is 97 in May and his step-father who is 79 and has around stage 6 alzhiemers. Anyway. The whole time my parents are here I have to take care of the old folks, which is fine. That's what I do; but then on Saturday(my day off) we make plans to go out with my parents. They had to leave early Monday morning and it is the only day I had to spend with just us and them. My husband even woke early that morning even though he had to work until 3am that night. Anyway, we went shooting up in the hills and had a lot of fun; and then we wanted to go swimming. While we were getting ready to go swimming my mother in law sends my daughter downstairs to us, my daughter says "Nana wants to know when we will be done swimming because she made a nail appointment at 2:30pm" she would need me to watch her husband while she went to get nails done which usually takes three and a half hours. Well, my husband says "Hell No!" and goes busting up the stairs. He came back down and said not to worry about it and we left to go swimming. I'm not sure exactly what he said, he said that he told her there was no way in hell he was going to let me stay home and watch her husband on my day off when my family who I hadn't seen for almost a year was visiting and she knew that we had made plans.... I'm not sure all that he said, but she sure was pissed off for the rest of the day. I have to say that I was very offended by what she did. Am I wrong to feel that way? I would never do something like that to anyone. It's just a courtesy not to do that, but I keep thinking that maybe I was wrong to feel that way. My daughter just called and said that she threw up at school so I have to get step-dad in the car and go pick her up. I hope he doesn't cause any grief. Gotta go. Hope you all have a great day and wishing everyone well.
Angelhair: It was thoughtless and inconsiderate of your mil to expect you to give up time with your parents so she could get her nails done. I'm glad your husband intervened on your behalf.
It was very inconsiderate of her to make that appointment then. Theres 6 other days in the week. She should have made arrangements for someone else to be with him. You would think she would have even made arrangements for other days so you could do things with your family. I think she should have taken a few days off anyway knowing they were coming. Anymore people just amaze me with things they do!!!What did your family think? Sometimes I wonder what planet people live on!! Don't YOU DARE feel guilty for this. SHE WAS WRONG.. And I too am so glad your husband spoke up.She must of really embarrassed him in front of your family. Boy honey I thought I've heard it all.//// This takes the cake//// Love to ya, Sherri
Angelhair, kudos to the hubby for speaking up. Your mil sounds like an inconsiderate boar. I hope you got to enjoy the time you did get to spend with your family. If your mil is an er nurse she probably only works 3 or 4 days a week. You should have more than 1 day a week off. But then again, I know about selfish inconsiderate famliy members.
Found this silly stuffed frog, wearing a big red heart, in the closet. Cried for an hour. My husband gave it to me last year for Valentine's day. But, I do remember how I laughed when he gave it to me. It was a kind of a joke we had, that he was my frog prince. Angel, your husband sounds like a prince. MIL was out of line. Still doctoring Omaha's poor nose. He had a check-up with the Vet today. Wants to send him to another Vet with a surgery suite to reconstruct his sinus cavity, but have to wait another 2 to 3 weeks so they can tell for sure what bone fragments have died. At least they switched him to antibiotic pills, instead of shots.
(You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!)
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping. The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse. The paramedics rushed him to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to.
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank." "Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she's a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God." The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
Thanks to all of you. I am feeling much better now. Ready to get on with my day. I thought it was only fair to tell you all that I do have more than one day off a week. Usually I'll end up watching him on those days for a few hours during appointments, but I agree that she was being selfish. She can't expect me to drop everything whenever she wants to go do something. I guess my husband told her that if she needed her nails done so badly then she could just take her husband with her. I'm thinking that's what really upset her. She's really a very nice lady; and I do love her. She can just be very inconsiderate sometimes. I do have to say I laughed my butt off inside when he told me he told her that. It really shouldn't be funny, but we've gotta laugh things off or we'd spend our entire lives crying. On happier notes, all of my kids got A's and B's on their report cards. I am so proud! My oldest finally got her foods project done. She was supposed to cook 17 items at home and have me sign off on them, but she went one further and made a cookbook out of everything she made, with pictures and all. She's handing it in today a month early. I can't wait to hear what her teacher thinks about that. I'm so proud of her. Now if I can just get her to stop reading and drawing in class when she's supposed to be doing schoolwork. lol Actually, she seems to be doing a lot better with that, but I'll keep a close watch because she had 9 assignments from four classes that she had to make up because of that. Her books and artwork has been banned from all classes at school except for those classes she has to read or draw in. I'm afraid that she's learning the hard way to prioritize her time. cuz, that was hilarious. I'm going to have to send that one to my husband. He loves funny jokes.
I liked this so much that I just had to pass it on. Too bad more people aren't more like Kevin.
"GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED" "I envy Kevin. My brother, Kevin, thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen, 'Are you there, God?' he said. 'Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed....' I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them. I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed. The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child. He does not seem dissatisfied. He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores. And Saturdays - oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. 'That one's goin' to Chi-car-go! ' Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights. And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn't know what it means to be discontent. His life is simple. He will never know the entanglements of wealth or power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be. His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax. He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure. He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God. Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an 'educated' person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion. In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions. It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap. I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care. Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God. And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed. Kevin won't be surprised at all ! "
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You are a treasure beyond measure!
You're more lustrous than a deepsea pearl,
more exquisite than the rarest emerald
and more radiant than the richest ruby.
The truth?
You shine more than silver, gold, or platinum,
and sparkle brighter than any diamond.
Because you're on-of-a-kind wonderful.
And that is priceless!
WW
lovCuz
I know we all have our own struggles to deal with each day and those that would give anything to be able to have their parent(s) back no matter the sacrifice involved. We miss then when they are here physically or passed on.
I hope everyone can have a good day and can find a moment for themselves. Take care everyone,
Diane
Oh, Diane, I know that one of these days she will not be able to say those hurtful things to you. I think back a year ago and see how quickly my Mother has changed, and even though mine is still negative, now I feel so badly for her.
I used to wonder why she was so mean and anxious, impatient and self-centered since I was a small child. I can see now that she must have had a mental illness from a very young age, caused by her Mother telling her she was "weak and stupid", which I think is worse than physical abuse.
Unfortunately, she tried to do that to me, but even though I am sensitive and did suffer as a child, I did not truly believe that I was what she tried to put on me. I have fought it all my life, because of my personality. WhooHoo! I am glad I did and it brought me VICTORY!
It feels so good to have power over mean people and succeed instead of letting them win with their hateful words. As a child, we are not as able to defend ourselves, but as adults, it is their false power through manipulation against our knowledge of the truth of our own abilities. You can override it with your knowledge of the facts!
I laugh--in my mind-- at my Mother's now feeble attempts to manipulate because even though I am able to see it for what it is worth, I am a kind, loving person, and way stronger than she ever was. Who wants to believe negative shit about oneself? Remember the war cry of King Arthur: "I command you to fight! Never Surrender! Never Surrender!" I love that war cry. YOU CAN DO IT! Love, Chris
Now you may post a private comment for all the world to see. Cheers!
Just one point I would also like to share about this and that is what your Mother said was wrong and it hurt absolutely but it might have happened in a few sentences for a few minutes or over a few hours. Don't make the mistake of repeating those hurtful words over and over in your head because by doing that you actually carry on the abuse and magnify it in your mind and thus magnify the pain of it only this time it's not coming from her but from yourself. This is a mistake that we all commonly make and I just wanted to remind you so you don't do this to yourself.
Have a good cry and know that we cry with you then pull yourself up and give yourself a hug and tell yourself you deserve better and you are strong because you would not be where you are if you were not.
Hugs,
Cricket
amen to what christina said about cricket ! she brings sunshine when the clouds are dark .
christina - big hugs to you !! cheers``````
i am feeling lost , havent been to pa s room sinch the day he passed . found some of his socks in my dryer . :( i just held on to it and smelled it and hug it . oh dad ... eveytime i look at my phone i see dad s picture , i kiss his forehead every now and then .
felt so werird to go somewhere and not havin anybody here to take care of dad . no tiime limit no nothing . i sleep alot more hours , i took a 4 hrs nap . missed a beautiful day , i dont feel good . coughin still and dr pescribe me stronger ones , 1tsp every 12 hrs . whoa . i take that at night only . lol makes my head swim ,,,
going to be high 70 so i shall kick my ass and start digging in my flower bed .
newcomers ! welcome .. i love this site and am so glad to be part of the boat .,
i best get off here and go do what ? think im just going to lay on the couch and maybe catch some more of the winks zzzzzzz. love you all !! xoxo
Thanks for your nice words Christina and Linda, I am really glad I have friends like you! Linda don't expect to much of yourself for awhile.. you are going to need some time to recover your health. Just take those naps as much as you need to. I can relate to how you felt when you found Pa's socks in the dryer.. After my fil Charlie died years ago I kept one of his cotton shirts and I would sit and hold it at times while I would remember him. Then once when one of my girls said they really missed him I went and got the t-shirt and gave it to her to keep for awhile, then later she said it helped her but she thought I might want it back, LOL I took it back and still keep it. Charlie was special to me. So when I see you on the boat and you are holding a pair of socks know that I get it. :)
Welcome to all the new ones that have joined us!
Nighty night all,
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
The identity smells, memory smells. Comfort smells: Even now, I open the armoire in my office with my Mother's out of season clothes, and it hits me. Today, she was speaking normally and coherently. It is puzzling and a pleasant surprise. But I don't get my hopes up. It's a different kind of surprise. It is just enough to make me sad, and keep it to myself.
Love you guys. Have a good night. Pleasant Dreams. xo
Anyways I had "rented" it to my stepdaughter for awhile. That term rented is a misnomer. Rent implies that rent is paid and collected which really didn't happen. Daughter moved out (with my 3 grands) and moved back in with ...wait for it......ME! She ended up losing her job and couldn't afford rent and I although I let it ride for a few months it was the utilities that did her in. Funny how the electric company is a tad more brutal than dad and mom when bills go unpaid.
The thing I feared the most came upon me. Daughter was back in our home. After moving in, my daughter started having my wife’s ex son-in-law visit. (I say ‘wife’s ex son-in-law’ because I never actually claimed him. Even when he was married to our daughter.) These two have been together since high school. Our daughter waited until I was gone on reserve duty to inform my wife that she was pregnant. That was probably a wise move on her part. I don’t have the time/energy to spill the whole story. This is abridged for sure. But nine years and three kids later. My daughter and my wife’s ex son-in-law (wesin) have been shacked up, married, divorced and re-shacked up.
After our daughter left my mother’s home and landed in our house it was a tad bit of madness. We had our daughter, her 3 kids, my wife, me and our two boys and Mom living under one roof. Now I am an electrical engineer, the pay ain’t bad but I am not Donald Trump. (Beside the money difference I don’t have that ugly head of hair - I am folically challenged.) Also I don’t think I go round looking like I smelled a really bad fart.
So we had nine humans living in a tri-level home built in the late 60’s. I insulated the garage and was in the process of making in more conducive to living in. But daughter threw a wrench into this situation. She began having WESIN over for visits. He did not stay overnight, but he was over often. WESIN is the father of our grands so I guess I gotta give him points for that. He is a screw up in most ways but I believe he loves the kids so I put up with him in small doses. Anyways one day my wife says to my WESIN and our daughter, "take your friends w/ benefits somewhere else! If you don't respect yourself at least respect your dad and I". I gotta say I was proud of my wife. That was about 7 months ago. Daughter and WESIN deadbeat have their own place now. In the meantime I managed to get Mom’s home rented to a honest to goodness rent paying tenant that keeps the place clean.
I would really rather sell mom’s place but the market sucks and it is paid for. So for now I am landlord as well as Husband, Dad, breadwinner, and impatient son.
I hope my ramblings have not confused anyone. The whole thing confuses me at times. Thanks to some folks wise than me (as if that were a high bar) I am learning priorities. God-marriage-kids -mom. My wife and I have survived living on the set of Springer for several years (not litterally). We have survived bankruptcy, losing an unborn child, caring for her parents, daughters abusing drugs and a set of in-laws that make Springer folks look almost normal. During this time we managed to find the time to procreate and we had two sons that I love more than my life. We are still standing together (in spite of me).
Have a good night everyone and get some rest.
Love ya,
Diane
Angel, your husband sounds like a prince. MIL was out of line.
Still doctoring Omaha's poor nose. He had a check-up with the Vet today. Wants to send him to another Vet with a surgery suite to reconstruct his sinus cavity, but have to wait another 2 to 3 weeks so they can tell for sure what bone fragments have died. At least they switched him to antibiotic pills, instead of shots.
(You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!)
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping. The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse. The paramedics rushed him to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to.
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank." "Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she's a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God." The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
On happier notes, all of my kids got A's and B's on their report cards. I am so proud! My oldest finally got her foods project done. She was supposed to cook 17 items at home and have me sign off on them, but she went one further and made a cookbook out of everything she made, with pictures and all. She's handing it in today a month early. I can't wait to hear what her teacher thinks about that. I'm so proud of her. Now if I can just get her to stop reading and drawing in class when she's supposed to be doing schoolwork. lol Actually, she seems to be doing a lot better with that, but I'll keep a close watch because she had 9 assignments from four classes that she had to make up because of that. Her books and artwork has been banned from all classes at school except for those classes she has to read or draw in. I'm afraid that she's learning the hard way to prioritize her time.
cuz, that was hilarious. I'm going to have to send that one to my husband. He loves funny jokes.
"GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED"
"I envy Kevin. My brother, Kevin, thinks God lives under his bed. At
least that's what I heard him say one night.
He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen,
'Are you there, God?' he said. 'Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the
bed....'
I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique
perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something
else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the
very different world Kevin lives in.
He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of
difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there
are few ways in which he is an adult.
He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old,
and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives
under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under
our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because
angels carry them.
I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever
dissatisfied with his monotonous life?
Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled,
home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite
macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed.
The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers
excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn
child.
He does not seem dissatisfied.
He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of
simple work.
He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove
before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty
laundry for his next day's laundry chores.
And Saturdays - oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my Dad
takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes
land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger
inside. 'That one's goin' to Chi-car-go! ' Kevin shouts as he claps his
hands.
His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.
And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips.
He doesn't know what it means to be discontent.
His life is simple.
He will never know the entanglements of wealth or power, and he does
not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats.
His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they
may not be.
His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working.
When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is
completely in it.
He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave
a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows
how to relax.
He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is
pure.
He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept,
and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue.
Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid
to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent,
always sincere. And he trusts God.
Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he
comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with
Him in a way that is difficult for an 'educated' person to grasp. God
seems like his closest companion.
In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I envy
the security Kevin has in his simple faith.
It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine
knowledge that rises above my mortal questions.
It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the
handicap. I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances -
they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care.
Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all,
he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after
dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.
And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all
amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God
heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under
his bed.
Kevin won't be surprised at all ! "