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Hi everyone, Igore thanks for sharing your story with us. I appreciate your honesty and the situations you face daily. Sometimes it's good to just come here and talk to help unload some of the stress. Know that you're not alone when it comes to the Jerry Springer like family members, we all have them. My husband is an electrical engineer contractor also so I know what you mean about finances and family members that always try to rely on you for help. Been there and done that, lots.

Angelhair, You've got a great husband! Your MIL is the kind of person that will always do that to you as long as you don't set firm boundaries with her. It's hard when you are a nice person to do this because you feel like you are being mean or going against your nature but once you stand up for yourself and stand firm she will back down. I've had to deal with family who act the same way. Your kids sound great! I see a future writer/artist in your daughter. I loved the "kevin" story! The story really exposes how much many of us live under clouds of illusions.

Cricketღ
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Good Afternoon,
It was nice to see Igore and all newbies! Yay! Where are oldies? Wow. Say hi once in a while. I'm not mentioning any names, but I know who is lurking. Whaaaa.
Angelhair, yes, you have a fantastic man for a husband and neat kids! WhooHoo!
meanwhile2, bless your heart finding that hat. Like LindaHeart with Pa's socks. How many memories and emotions are held in inanimate objects. I hope Omaha will respond better to the anti-biotic. Blessings and Hugs to you.
Jen, hey I like the idea of sending bills to whoever can pay them, right? What's up?How's your hair? What color of red is it now? I tried that once, but after a few washings it was rust colored. Girl had not used gold as a filler. Very important. This past year I am finally going gray, so pretty soon my weaves will be easier and cheaper. Gee, I wonder what made my hair turn gray?...
Kevin is what we are supposed to be if we have pure hearts. Kevins are my favorite kind of people. And Crickets. heehee I was a lot like Kevin in my childhood, and still would be if I did not have to deal with so many rotten people. Human nature is certainly disappointing. We need to keep God under the bed, and in our hearts:) xoxo
Really thinking about our Captain and praying as always for health and Peace. Austin: are you baaaack? Say hi, dearest one:) xo
Rosella must have A LOT of translating to do. Miss you, Regina della Tutto. xo
Hugs to LindaHeart. Hope you are resting and getting over bad cough. xoxoxo
Thinking of all: much Love and Blessings to you, here and there. Christina xo
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We're getting more calls from the assisted living place where mom resides. She's 89 going on 3 these days: refuses to help herself most often, doesn't want to go down to the dining hall for meals, wets herself and refuses to get changed even with help, cries and yells at the aides when they come to help her. This has all been new and thought to be a side effect of a med she'd been on for UTI but she's been off that med for a couple weeks now and it's still going on. Dr prescribed a mild anti-depressant to help with the mood-swings so we're hopeful it helps. But we can't help wondering if there's an underlying medical condition involved, or other issue that's been undetected and untreated. Thoughts? Ideas?
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Hi everyone-I got back last night and now need to rest we did so many things while I was at my sister's including going to the Philly flower show.
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Hi cindretha,
It sounds like your Mom's version of dementia. Maybe the Doctor can switch her meds? Have you spoken to her doctor?
Welcome to Grossed Out! Where you can vent, moan, cry, and get understanding and encouragement from extremely sane caregivers. Yes, we are:) tell us more!
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Taxi story...loved this one!!

An Arab enters a taxi..........

Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel's and certainly no radio .......

So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door.

The Arab asks him: “Watt are you doing man?”

The cabby answers: “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis.
So get out and wait for a f-----g camel.”
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Good evening,
cuz49341, I like the jokes, especially the catholic heart attack.
I have posted some, unloaded some and many of you have been so kind to me. Gotta say I appreciate it.
Christina, you are right about the understanding and encouragement and I will take your word on the "extremely sane" part even if it is a leap of faith. You, as well as Cricket, cattails, and others have been helpful in giving me a woman’s perspective on things. I hang with dudes, I have two sons, and I, like most men are dense when it comes to things feminine.
Angelhair, I commend your husband. I strive to do the same for my wife as well. For me it is a great example. Also, I liked the story about Kevin. We see folks like him as cursed when they really are blessed in ways we can't understand. Intellect is a great asset but not always so when it comes to faith.
Anyways, thanks to all. I hope I can be a help to others here as you have been to me.
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Oh, Cuz!!! Love the Arab joke!!! Go wait for an effing camel. Priceless!!!
Thank you for the night time comedy:)
Nighty night, all you beautiful and handsome, sane and lovable caregivers.
Hugs, Christina xo
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cindretha. I don't know if it would help your mom or not; and it also depends on the meds that she is already taking, but ask your doctor about an anti psycotic. My father in law was starting to get bad. I mean really bad. He refused to accept help with anything and he was angry all of the time. He was very unmanageable and unpredictable. He would have angry outbursts and take off and walk for miles. He was very paranoid and dilusional even about us trying to take his money. He didn't realize that he has no money for anyone to take. We had the police involved several times because he just wouldn't listen to anyone, but he always had respect for an officer. One time he even tried to get out of a moving vehicle while it was driving down the freeway at 80 mph because he was angry that we didn't stop for ice cream. He couldn't remember why he was angry; he just knew that he was mad and he was leaving. He even went so far as to kick his wife in the stomach because he didn't want to take his pills one night. He would become extremely agitated and even violent. Since the Doctor put him on this anti-psycotic med he has really mellowed out. He's a lot happier and no more angry outbursts. Of course that and one other med is the only thing he's on other than vitamins. Everyone is different; and I don't presume to say it will help, but it doesn't hurt to exercise all of your options and to ask the doctor about it.
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Good morning all,
Sorry I've been absent, or "lurking" as Christina would say!!! LOL I think of you all often. It has been a very stressful time here and not over yet, not even close. I'm so at my end. Dad has been admitted to the NH for teh long term and been told this over and over that he can't go home but doesn't seem to get it. He's angry and nasty and refusing to eat or have the aids change him, (sound familiar Cindretha???). Then, out of the blue he'll have a good day!. My Mom is down the hall from him recovering from hip surgery. She's doing ok and it was almost good that she was there for three weeks so she could see how bad he is. He was nasty to her too. I'm preparing the Medicaid filing which is a MASSIVE job. Anyone done that??? I have a good elder care attorney helping me but I'm doing all the leg work, with no sibling help whatsoever, not even a phone call.

Ok, now.... Christina, miss you! Sorry I haven't written in, just so down that reading the thread some days would kill me for sure. Rossella, Bobbie, Miz, JSomebody, Cricket, AnnT, ZoeyZulu, June, Lilliput, DtFlex, and everyone else, luv you all.

Cindretha, welcome!!! I can relate to your madness. Because there are so many newbies, is anyone else caring for BOTH there parents with no help? Just wondering.....

TTFN :)

-SS
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SS-have the social worker help you mine did when I became a crying mess one day or have the elder lawyer do more of it-you probably paid him a retainer-those people can get a lot accomplished because they know the system do well-I spent so many hours a day on it and they got away from it for a while-my husband died before it was finsshed but I remember how crazy I got trying to do it myself-I hope you will let others help you with it-NH have to do them all the time for residents who are not able to do it themselve-it is a benefit for them to get it done fast so they start getting paid for the care.
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cindretha, did the doctor recheck the UTI to make sure it really cleared up? You might want to have him recheck it again to make sure it hasn't persisted. Sometimes the simplest cure is the most obvious. I have read many posts here about how difficult getting rid of UTI's can be and how it affects the elders behavior. It amazes me how quickly these doctors prescribe antidepressants instead of doing a better job. I hope you find out soon and get her the proper treatment. Welcome to the thread :)

Christina, Scientists have recently discovered that as people age the cells don't absorb an amino acid as well and this leads to gray hair. A study was done on older rats where they were given larger doses of the amino acid and over time their dull hair turned back to darker more vibrant color. So sometime in the near future we should start seeing products being marketed with this amino. My hair is all silver now and I stopped dying it years ago because of the chemicals so I was thrilled to hear about this medical discovery.

Austin and SS, good to see you both posting!
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ

☻/ღ˚ •。* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛° 。* °♥ ˚ • ★ *˚ .ღ 。
/▌*˛˚ღ •˚ ˚sprinkle of Love . ~♥~˚ ✰* ★
/ \ ˚. ★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚ ˚ღ。* ˛˚ ♥ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ
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Hey Selfish Siblings! If the lurking shoe fits, girlfriend! Poor Dad. Must be feeling pretty helpless and frustrated:( Sorry he is giving you and your Mom fits. Maybe he is trying to adapt to his new environment and once he accepts it, he will calm down. Hope so. We certainly need Grace to age Grace-fully. Hugs to you, SS. xo

Thank you for the nutritional info, Cricket. I am looking forward to silver hair. Then we will be twins. heehee Regarding UTI problem: Geriatric Dr. told me when elders continue to get them it is usually because the bladder is not emptying completely.
There is an anti-biotic that can be taken daily called Macrodantin which seems to help, but weighing in after Cricket's post as well as others who don't like to go the anti-biotic route, makes me hesitate. In my experience, dementia gets to a point where you need to address or treat an issue to improve the daily management of their behavior and health. Maybe a treatment that you consider last course moves up the list. Know what I mean? Some agitation that my Mother expresses could be pain or feelings that she can no longer express and I think about that all the time. What if, what if. It's sad and exhausting. We all just keep trying our best every day and must realize we are probably giving care as close to perfect as we can.
Hi Austin, sure missed you and hope you had a wonderful time with sister. How was Mom this time? Hugs and Love. xo
Well, I have laptop problems with my email account so I'm downloading a new Office program. If that does not help I am back to apple for a tech appt. Hate it when things like this pop up; unexpected time distractors that happen for a good reason, I suppose. Going to let it run and go see my Mother, get a walk in before the" rain this whole weekend. Talk to y'all later! Thanks for the sprinkle of love, Crickety-Poo! xoxo
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red is washed almost out to strawberry dull blonde. I could do silver but muddy gray blearch...I use the box, no way I could afford a beauty shop treatment...Mom wants me to do the bathroom plumbing now...Good God help me...
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The naked truth:

We must have our priorities. From a good friend of the Jewish faith, this
gem
of the day. Gotta love Jewish humor and if you have any NYC blood in your
veins,
it is even funnier!

A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City . The
taxi
driver, who happened to be an old Jewish man, opened his eyes wide and
stared at
the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.

She said to him, "What's wrong with you honey? Haven't you ever seen a
naked
woman before?"
The old man said "Lady, I'm not staring at you, I am telling you, det
vould
not be proper vair
I come from".
She said, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs sweetie, what are you
doing then?"
He said, "Vell, I am looking and I'm looking, and I am tinking to
myself,
vair is dis lady keeping money to pay for dis ride."
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A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday
after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second
Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks
for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they
asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't
talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much
to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...

((I love it when I make you smile...and I KNOW you are smiling))
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Oh Cuz, I have to tell the denture joke to my boss. (I work for a Dentist). Thanks for the laughs.
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A man goes to his doctor for a check up. He mentions to the doc that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doc suggests doing the distance test. He says, "You need to do this when her back is turned. Stand about 10 feet from your wife and ask a question. If she doesn't answer, move up a few feet and ask again. Keep doing this until she hears you. After that, you need to sit down with her, explain the distance test and have and heart to heart about her hearing and see to it that she makes an appointment with the audiologist."

When the man comes home that night, his wife (back turned) is standing at the kitchen sink peeling carrots. Taking the 10' distance, the husband asks, "When will dinner be ready." No answer from the wife. He moves closer, repeats the question. No response. Finally, he finds himself standing right behind her and says, "When will dinner be ready." To his shock, his wife throws the carrot into the sink, spins around and yells in his face, "I've told you 4 times now, dinner will be ready in about 20 minutes."
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No offense to anyone, but this came from a Jewish friend of mine. Four Jewish mothers go out to lunch together. The waiter takes their orders and brings their meals. A few minutes later he checks back and asks, "Is anything all right."
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The false teeth joke was the best.
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Cuz, Keep 'em coming. God knows we gotta laugh when we can.
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Got home this morning got a few hours sleep and then took Mom to her quarterly appt with the dermatologist.(psoriasis). While checking in the girl at the desk ask to see her med card. Mom is looking through her purse and then she let me look through it. As I am looking for her card, I said "hello jimmy" the clerk looked at me. I said "nevermind, I though I saw her card with Jimmy Hoffa down there." Anyway I could find the card and the receptionist asked if her insurance changed and I told her no. Then I said I will check her purse when I get home and see if the burmuda triangle is in there. Fortunately mother's hearing is not good enough to hear me being a smart ass.
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I don't know if anyone gets testy toward the person they are caring for. I know I struggle with this. I try to maintain a balance of doing for Mom what she is unable to do but still let her do as much as she can. I have gotten better at guarding the buttons so as they don't get pushed but sometimes it happens. When it does I have a "flashback moment"- its 1974 again and my mom is fussing at my Grandmother. My Grandma would say "honey please don't 'rare' on me!" The phrase "don't rare on me" is hillbilly for "don't fuss at me". My wesil (Wifes Ex Son-In-Law) would say "don't be dissin on me" Anyways sometimes mom will say to me..."you are mean to me"...and I say to her " I learned from the best sensei". In reality Mom used to have a pretty mean temper but after her brain aneurysm in 1993 her personality was substantially softened. Guess maybe I need a brain aneurysm to soften mine sometimes. Actually I think middle age is helping.
Word to selfish siblings, You are not alone in the fact that you care for you caring for your mother. You have found a good place. Cricket, Christina, Cattails and others have given me shelter from the Mom trying to track me down. Cuz must have connections with Rodney Dangerfield or something. Good place to chill and people to chill with.
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Love the Jimmy Hoffa line. A sign you are sane having wit and humor. If you can find the funny in tragedy, you will survive. I get to the point of delirium at times.
My husband's favorite stolen line since I am in school is "call me when you have no class", ala Rodney D, Back to School. Yesterday morning he called me and left a message: "you must be in class. Call me later." I called back and told him I have no class all week--it's Spring Break. Reminds me of what not to name your dog.
Hope cindretha checks in again about the uti dilemma. Meanwhile: how is Omaha? Where 's Diane? I won't start naming everyone on my mind, just to say it was good to hear from Selfish Sibs, Austin back from her trip, and our new posters, the King of Comedy, Monster Man Extraordinaire: Igore! Yay!!! Where's cattails?
Going to bed early tonight . Hoping it will make me healthy wealthy and wise. I'd settle for one of those features. Love you guys. Hang in, hang tough, Fight, and never surrender! Not other people, I meant your demons and foibles. Nite nite:) xo
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Christina: I'm right here. Didn't you see the two jokes I posted? Hugs, Cattails
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Christina: I tried to post on your wall again and it's gone. Would you please fix it. I want to have a public/private conversation with you. HaHa. Love and Hugs, Cattails. Can't wait to tell you the latest. I'm sure that perked up some ears.
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I'm baaaaaaaaack. I took a hiatus. Like the TV stars. The last I was here, I think it was when my husband Alan just had his third stroke just before Thanksgiving. Call me bad, but, if he hadn't had the stroke, which lead to yet another hospitalization and NH rehab, I don't think I could have done even one more day of caregiving. I was just that totally wiped emotionally and physically. I decided to take a step back from here to get COMPLETELY away from anything to do with caregiving and regain a short stay in Normalville. He was discharged to home Februrary 1st. He was home only one night, then suffered a TIA the next morning. Back to the ER, hospital and NH rehab. While he was in the hospital, they performed a stent procedure for his left carotid artery; his right is completely occluded, so nothing to be done about it. He's back home as of Tuesday. I must say that so far, it's going better than before. One big help is they gave him a hospital bed for home. He's incontinent, and we have a king bed, so I was washing three loads of bedding every day. I never found the answer to leakproofing. He can't move off the waterproof pad in the hospital bed, and even if he does wad it up, the twin size bedding can be done in one load.

Now friends, I have a question. I'm posting this to both "No One Ever Asks How the Caregiver is Doing" and "Toothbrush" because I started off posting to both. I love y'all but I'm having a devil of a time keeping it straight who's in which group, and I just can't choose one group over another, because they're both great! I know there's a few of you that double post. I was just wondering if anyone had every thought of combining groups. I know. I know. What's this newcomer upstart thinking, coming in here and trying to change everything up. Any thoughts, anyone?
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Christina I did have a good time with my sister. Mom was on her good behaivor when we took her out to lunch-she had got herself in trouble yelling at my bil a few days before I got there and now he is not taking her places and the tenent who takes her to where she needs to go was sick so she did not get to go to the flower show or to the farmers market the days we were there-not sure if she learned her lesson or not-she thinks she is entitled to act out whenever and everyone has to deal with it.
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Morning, Everyone, and Welcome Back, sheilablake! Everyone is free to post wherever they want! You can shop at Nordstrom and/or you can shop at Bloomingdale's, but they are different. That's what makes it unique. Yesterday I went to the Apple store about my laptop and they were very nice. Then I had to walk down the mall to Microsoft and they started making insulting comments about Apple. I said, no one is to blame, and Apple never said one bad thing about Microsoft, I simply want to get my computer straightened out. One was gracious, one was defensive and blaming. That's why I have a Macbook.

Hi Austin, When Mommy's bad behavior is not rewarded, she is nicer. Hmm? What a concept! Too bad some people do not learn in a million years that "nice" is power. You learned:) Hugs and Blessings.

cattails, I saw you. I do not understand the wall set up. I changed something so see if it works. You are among friends, however, so feel free to express yourself right here! Whoo Hoo!!

Where is Crickety-Poo this morning? Making a green drink and tending to Lucky, no doubt. Love you, GF. xo

We are getting ready for at least 4 days of rain from a storm in from Hawaii. I did my Spring cleanup on patio and my roses are ready for the good watering. Did the sul-po-mag last week, going to dig in some worm castings today.

Hi to Deefer, Stillstanding/BJ, Kuli, Kimbo, Miz, Rosella, Captain, rip, and all we are thinking of and missing. LindaHeart hope you're feeling healthier every day. xoxo

Thanks Cuz, cattails, angelhair for the neat stories and jokes. Wait for a camel. lol

Hope you all have the best day possible: little troubles, lots of rewards and love.xo
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Good Afternoon all, Between medicating Lucky around the clock (3rd week) and how loud he snores I haven't been getting much sleep.. Last night I tried getting him to sleep in the other room to get him out of the whelping box bed in our room that he's slept in forever..yes we are talking about a dog here...shoot me! LOL well about 2 AM he starts clawing at the door in the other room and howling like his heart has been broken so I let him back in his usual bed in our room where he proceeds to snore like a drunken sailor. I finally fell asleep around 5 AM and slept til NOON! Such is the life of the woman who had so many dogs she didn't know what to do! Oh and if that hasn't been stressful enough Dad never misses a day where he walks up to me and says .. Are we going for a ride today? Last week I asked him..Dad what is it with you and the car rides everyday? Wha the fuk! LOL

So I'm off to the grocery store today because there is no food in the house and it appears to be the logical thing to do, oh and while I'm at it I have to make a RX pick up for Dad, come back and fill his pill boxes, make sure he eats, clean up the kitchen, give Sadie a bath because the poor dog is having an allergy reaction again to something out in the yard, go check Dads room for Dog poo in case he locked Punkin in there with him and forgets to take her out to potty, then it will be time to give Lucky more meds, eye drops and wash that mooncollar he's wearing and go mop up the kitchen floor where he tips over the water bowl trying to drink water with it on and just when I think "I gotta sit down for a minute" I will remember that none of the groceries have been put away so I will go do that then the Hubby will walk in and say "what's for dinner?" So there you have it a typical day in my life and like our dear lindaheart would say waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Thanks for asking about me Christina! Love you to!

I am begining to think I must be really wicked because of some old saying that says.. "no rest for the wicked" or something to that effect. LOL

I am missing some of the old crew who haven't been posting lately..You know who you are :) I miss your words! Linda I hope you are getting well, Bobbie when I get a minute for myself I will be giving you a call.. I hope you and the boat angel are okay. Diane, bless you heart. Kimmy, I want to hear about the latest with your Dad in his new quarters, and how you're doing! Are you trying to invent those glasses with a built in monitor or what? Welcome back SheilaBlake, Cuz I LOVE THE POSTS, you are such a blessing to us here!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,__
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,/ *_) . -♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-
,,,,, _,—-,_/,,/ , RAWR Means .
,,,,/,,,,,,,,,,,,,,/ , I Love You .
_/…(…|.(…|) , In Dinosaur .
/__.-|_|–|_| Cricket!
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