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hi there u all . just a quickie here . had a nice 50th bday last sat , it was wonderful , no i didnt win at the casino but my sister did . proud of her ,,, think my bil has finaly have the caregiver burnout . i dont think it ll last much longer , if thats the case i ll prob end up takin care of her , just my luck . ill do whatever the lord puts out in front of me . deef - ur mom was alike my dad but only he doesnt give me hard time . gawd i miss my daddy . jsomebody - big hugs to you dear . i wish all the best for you and for u to win the lottery . love u jenny girl . xoxo you all take care and hugs to u all and ur parents . i am doing ok . i have my ups and downs . today its up lalala . xoxo
Linda: Happy Birthday. Glad you and your sis had fun at the casino. Is this the sis that is married to the bil who has caregiver burnout? Who is he taking care of? I can see why they call you Lindaheart.
Glad you are having an up day. Don't answer my questions if the discussion will put a damper on your happiness today. Hugs, Cattails
Hey there! In all my rantings yesterday, I forgot to add that my husband lost his job last February and I also have to deal with him being one step behind me all the time! Sometimes I just go outside and hide out for some peace and quiet. I had a covered backyard swing that I loved, but the metal gave way on the frame when I took it apart last fall. I found a better one online at Walmart and am going to order it next week. Can't wait to be able to go hide on my swing, especially at night when the stars are out. Mom got up and behaved this morning before going to daycare. I hope the UTI is over! When I picked her up at daycare on Monday, she was a mess, drooling, head back and not wanting to sit in the car. Took 2 of us to get her in, then I had a heck of a time getting her into the house. She wouldn't eat supper, so I made her drink a can of Ensure. That was no problem because it's so sweet! Anyway, I was glad to get her to bed. Merry was here yesterday, so we did some yard work and took a walk. Tomorrow her new case worker from eldercare is coming to meet us at 10. Hate those damn visits. She has the same case worker for years, but she quit and this is the second one in 6 months. Need to get a few things done before I pick up Mom. Hope everyone is having a good day. It was sunny here this morning, but showers are coming our way. Linda, Happy Birthday!!! Wish I was 50 again.
I am new to this website-and I just have to say-reading the last 2 pages of this thread-first time I have laughed in days!!!! Thank you! And on a grossed out note:I am not a nurse. I never thought I would be cleaning up my mother after a bowel movement! When she started needing help several years ago, I did it. You just do right? Well, I couldn't help but gag-every time! I am telling you-it has been years now and guess what? Altho I don't gag as much-I still gag iif it is really nasty! And the kicker is-my mom is a nurse-and she LAUGHS at me EVERY time and tells me-I will never make a good nurse!!! She even tells other people how I gag-and laughs again! She is a hoot! And I admit, I laugh with her!
Deefer, every time I think of you, I remember that your husband lost his job last year. What does he do now? Maybe I shouldn't ask. I told my husband if he ever retires and thinks I will be fixing him breakfast and little sandwiches everyday, look by the front door and see MY bags and passport ready for my next dig. No way, Jose. When my Mom passes and my daughter is married, I'm outta here. Even if it's a quick trip to Florida for the time being:) love, Christina xo
Welcome Mame: Your mom sounds like a great lady. I've never had the gag thing, guess I would have made a good nurse. My mother-in-law used to tell me that and said I missed my calling. Nevertheless, wiping butts was never on my wish list or bucket list. I want to be a free spirit someday and I don't mean in the after life, I mean in this one.
My MIL tells me I would also make a good nurse. She says I am patient, and understanding, and intuitive to others needs. She is always urging me to go to school and get my CNA and get a degree in nursing. I can't seem to make her understand that I really don't want to do this for a living. I am going to school. I start on May 21. my classes go until Dec. I am so excited. The school courses work perfectly with my husband's and my schedules. I'll be going while my kids are in school. And my husband said he'll keep an eye on FIL for the one day that it conflicts with my schedule. He is so supportive. anyway, here's looking to the future with hope.
Oh, I'm not going into nursing. I love helping people, but I can't do the nursing thing. I'm going into massage therapy. I've always been intrigued with it; and I love giving massages and making people feel better. It would be nice to know what I'm doing and to be able to get paid for doing what I love to do. Anyway, I've gotta go, love you all.
Just got back from taking the young dog for a walk. Went down our country road to the highway, and then back. It is only a mile and a half round trip, but very peaceful. Was hot here again today, 95. Have to put a fly mask on Omaha now, since the bugs are starting to come out. It took about 5 minutes to get it on him. He isn't even used to wearing a halter. But, just worked it onto his head slowly, so not to scare him. Have to get in bed. One of the goats is looking ready to deliver tonight. So will check on her every 2 hours. Goat kids often have to be pulled. It is a lot easier than pulling a calf though. Happy birthday Linda. Welcome newbies. Hope everyone else gets more sleep than I'm going to get tonight.
Angelhair: I am so excited for you. YEAH!! You will love getting out, learning about something you are interested in and just having something else to think about. Good for you.
Meanwhile: I'll be thinking about Omaha and the kids. Hope all goes well tonight.
I'm feeling sorry for my dad tonight. He was asking me if mom was home. I hate to remind him that she passed away, but when I do, he remembers. "Oh yeah, that's right." And I can see the sadness on his face. I told him she was waiting for him in heaven and my husband said she had a to do list waiting for him, but no smile. So I reminded him that Blackie and Houchie (dogs) were with mom and waiting for him too. That his old favorite chair was there and Houchie (90 lb) was just waiting for him to sit in it so she could climb up into his lap like she always loved to do. Well, that touched a spot in his heart and his face lit up and he laughed. So I tucked him into bed with a smile on his face and gave him a kiss goodnight.
When he passes, I pray all his dogs are with him again and that he and my mom can walk with all of them through fields of wildflowers, happy, whole and young.
That's a nice thought to end the night on. Love to everyone, Cattails.
triplets at 2 AM. 20 years of raising goats, and babies are still fun. This is the 1st time I've had a yearling lst time doe give birth to triplets. But, no problems. Just ran out to the barn to check on them before I go to work. I'm sure Sam is laughing, because he didn't have to help this time. Or maybe he did help. He used to try and find an excuse to get out of helping with deliveries, it made him gag. But, he was always a trooper. I could always count on him to help me out gagging or not. Angel, Massage therapist rock. If you need a subject to practice homework on I would happily volunteer. So great of you to get your Dad smiling, Cattails. Sorry I have to get to work. Love you guys.
Just saw on FB that Ann's (Annt) mom has to have her leg amputated above the knee so please keep them in your prayers. Angelhair, I've always wanted to learn more about massage too. I knew I couldn't do it as a profession with my bag carpal tunnel, but I enjoy making people feel better too. Meanwhile, congrats on the triplets! I didn't know goats would have triplets. Well, I start my first class of Dementia Dialogues this morning. I'll keep you all posted if I learn anything new and helpful. Gotta run.
So much to comment on but I'm rushed for time right now and can't. I just wanted to check in with everyone while I sit and take my vitamins, lol Diane, thanks for the update on AnneT's Mom. Angelhair...you go girl! I loved doing massage therapy for years as a profession, it's a great business to go into. {{{{{Christina}}}}} you know you want to come to Florida! :) Meanwhile2 congrats on the kids!! Cattails, I adore you, and loved the jokes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDA.. 50 whoohoo! Now you get to really start living! Deef, I'm so glad you got to vent, you need to do it even if you have to use a laptop while sitting on the throne! I forgot who asked but I took care of Betty my MIL before Charlie, we went the whole route, hospice and all and I must say that if Dad gets as bad as your Mom Deef I will be putting him in NH nearby and let the professionals do the work while I oversee it and spend my time nurturing him emotionally. After 3 times of caregiving I have learned what doing that kind of care does to me on all levels and I won't be putting myself though that again. We all have our limits and thankfully I know where mine are this time around. You have my support and prayers for sure. Love you all. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Cricket: Good to hear from you. Glad you know your limits. After all the care taking you have done, you deserve a giant gold medal. You are an amazing person.
Diana: Hope the Dementia Dialogues offer you some comfort and understanding. You could probably teach the class.
Wow Cattails! You are brave to remind your dad that mom is dead! My grandfather had dementia too, but that was over 20 years ago. Back then we didn't know that the best course with dementia patients was to redirect when the conversations were about people who had passed on. Pepe would ask for his wife 20 times a day and we would keep reminding him that she had died. This went on for 2 years and he would cry every time. Sometimes he would get really angry and leave the house to go looking for her. If I had known then what I've learned in the past 5 years, I would never had reminded him that Meme was gone. With Mom, I just change the subject or say "they" will be home soon". It's too heartbreaking to keep reminding them of death. Mom is happy most of the time and talks about those that are long gone, fondly and often as if they were still here. No more sad times remembering that she is the last of her immediate family and childhood friends. I used to take her to visit her last living friend fairly regularly, until she passed last winter. I never did tell Mom Jeanette had died. She would have been heartbroken. Although your dad is not as advanced in this disease as my mom, you will eventually find that some things are better left unsaid. Just a bit of advice that I learned from experience. Hope it comes in handy for you. Cricket, know what you mean about limits. I slowly getting to that point here. At least I have her at daycare 3 days, and Merry is here with her the other 4 days thanks to Mom's LTC insurance. But that is running out this fall, so my 6 sibs will have to make some decisions about Mom at that point. Christina, I'm leaning more towards packing my backs and getting a one-way ticket out of here due to my husband more than my situation with Mom!!! Meanwhile, I used to work at Old Sturbridge Village, an 1830's outdoor living history museum, up here in Mass. One spring I had the great honor of watching a lamb birth triplets!!! It was amazing!!! Mom is much better since the Cipro knocked back the UTI. Yesterday was her first good day in 2 weeks. Yahoo!!!! Okay, time for late lunch and laundry!
Hi Deefer: Thanks for sharing on the issues of dementia. It's a tough call for me right now because my dad is pretty with it most of the time. It's hard to really gauge him because his speech has been so impaired by the stroke, but I find he responds appropriately to many things. Nevertheless, I often wish he could speak more clearly as it would help me better understand where his mind is on a daily basis.
He does have some dementia; vascular would be my guess, due to the stroke. Sometimes when he has been sleeping deeply, he will wake up and not really be sure where he is in this world, but it comes back after he has fully left the travels of sleep. One day he woke up from that far away place and wanted to get up. I asked if he needed to go to the bathroom and he was able to tell me that he needed to go to work. So I explained that it was Sunday and he didn't need to go to work. Everything was fine and he deserved a day off. That worked and all was well.
I don't know what to do when he asks about my mom. It doesn't happen very often, but I'm afraid if I tell him she's around or make up something it will agitate him. Once when he asked me where she was, I did make up something, like she's around or gone to the store. Don't remember what I said exactly, but it upset him and he wanted to know if she was sick, was she alright, etc. So eventually I reminded him that mom was in heaven. Then he remembered and seemed to be at peace. I do take your words to heart and I'll continue to watch for more signs of confusion.
By the way, Deef, I am sorry your husband has been out of work for so long. You are like a one woman army. I'm amazed at all you do and can understand the frustration you feel. I'm not sure if you are serious about packing your bags, but if you are I trust your reasons. Take care. Cattails
Cattails - I understand completely what you are going through when your Dad is asking about your Mom. My mother is always expecting my dad to come home - he passed away 40 years ago. At first, I told her he had passed away, but then when I had to tell her again and again, it just was too hard. Now we just act like he should be home soon. Some days are better than others. She also doesn't think anyone should need to stay with her, because "he will be coming home soon". I am not sure what the answer is, either. It helps to know that we are not the only ones going through this!
Cattails, been with the same man for almost 43 years. Don't think I'll be leaving any time soon! Just my way of saying I need a break from this life. Last year I packed my bags and ran away to Rip's in Seattle for 8 days. It took me 60 years to finally get the heck out all by myself. I enjoyed every minute of my cross country trip. It was great to be on my own and not have someone telling me what I needed to do every second of the trip. Can't wait for my next adventure!
Deefer you should get away every so often before my husband died I had planned to go with my sil to a local Holiday Inn a few miles away for a weekend.
Deef, come on down to Southern California and I will cook for you, make you margaritas. Just a little south of rip. Bring rip and Jen. Maureen will coast down on her riding lawnmower; Cricket and Linda will cruise west...meanwhile can hitch the trailer to cricket's car and join the ride from TX. Come on.... xo
The toilet seat was invented in Iowa, but twenty years later an Minnesotan invented the hole in it.
OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, 'I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents.'
THAT'S HER! A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, 'Yep, dat's her!'
SWIM COMPETITION A Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The Frenchwoman came in first, the Englishwoman second. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, 'I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used der arms.'
VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. 'The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400,' said the first Norwegian. 'Vell,' said the other one, 'At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more.'
A Swede took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota . While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to him in a friendly manner ... 'Look,' he said, 'let's have a game. If you answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink, if you can't, then you buy ME one, Okay?' 'Ya, dat sounds purty good,' said the Swede. The Indian said, 'My father and my mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?' The Swede scratched his head and finally said, 'I give up. Who vas it?' 'It was ME,' chortled the Indian. So the Swede paid for the drinks. Back in Sioux Falls the Swede went into a bar and spotted one of his cronies, 'Sven,' he said, 'I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I buy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fair enough?' 'Fair enough,' said Sven. Okay....my fadder and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder, It vasn't my sister, Who vas it?' 'Search me, ' said Sven. 'I give up. Who vas it?' 'It vas some Indian up in Fargo, Nort Dakoda.'
FINGERNAILS
One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. 'Good gracious,' said Hilda, 'How did yew ever dew that?' 'It vas really simple,' was Lena 's reply ... 'I yust hid his false teeth.'
THE RELATIONS
Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee. 'Lena , vat ever happened tew our sex relations?' He asked. 'Vell, Ole, I yust don't know,' replied Lena. 'I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas.'
MUSIC SOLUTION
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it. 'Oh,' said Ole, 'I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet.' 'How come?' asked Lars.
'Vell,' Ole answered, 'because vith a clarinet, she can't sing.
THE PRANK CALL
The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. 'Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here' he says and hangs up. 'Who vas dat?' asks Lena . 'I donno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear.
On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena 's knee. Giggling, Lena said, 'Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to.' So Ole drove to Duluth.
Hey guys, it's hard for me to leave home, but Deef you are welcome to come here for a visit. I've been married for 39 year, and yes to the same guy. We can swap some stories. Even if my hubby is present, he's heard all the stories before so he won't be offended.
Now, Christina, Cricket, Lindaheart, rip, JEN, luvsmom, BOBBIE, Meanwhile (you can bring your goats and your dogs.....Omaha too. Christina can cook and make margaritas. Oh man, does that sound like a plan that I could get my head around. Oh, and Cuz, I do have a small pond...no fish but at least some water. And we are 2 miles from the John Wayne Marina. Bobbie can take us for some crabbing and fishing. Christina, we will help you in the kitchen. I've got a mean blender.
At a graveside service for an elderly women. As the preacher finished, a bolt of lightening shot across the sky, then a big clap of thunder. The elderly husband looked at the preacher and calmly said- Well she's there.
Sam's marker was set today. It isn't big or fancy, but has some mountains and trees etched into the back ground. I got a little teary, but I think he would like the marker. Had them set it just in front of the cross with the army helmet that Indio made and set out there. Indio made the cross out of heavy duty steel, and welded the helmet on top. Sam would like that too. Hope everyone has a good weekend.
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
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had a nice 50th bday last sat , it was wonderful , no i didnt win at the casino but my sister did . proud of her ,,,
think my bil has finaly have the caregiver burnout . i dont think it ll last much longer , if thats the case i ll prob end up takin care of her , just my luck . ill do whatever the lord puts out in front of me .
deef - ur mom was alike my dad but only he doesnt give me hard time . gawd i miss my daddy .
jsomebody - big hugs to you dear . i wish all the best for you and for u to win the lottery . love u jenny girl . xoxo
you all take care and hugs to u all and ur parents .
i am doing ok . i have my ups and downs . today its up lalala . xoxo
Glad you are having an up day. Don't answer my questions if the discussion will put a damper on your happiness today. Hugs, Cattails
Mom got up and behaved this morning before going to daycare. I hope the UTI is over! When I picked her up at daycare on Monday, she was a mess, drooling, head back and not wanting to sit in the car. Took 2 of us to get her in, then I had a heck of a time getting her into the house. She wouldn't eat supper, so I made her drink a can of Ensure. That was no problem because it's so sweet! Anyway, I was glad to get her to bed. Merry was here yesterday, so we did some yard work and took a walk. Tomorrow her new case worker from eldercare is coming to meet us at 10. Hate those damn visits. She has the same case worker for years, but she quit and this is the second one in 6 months.
Need to get a few things done before I pick up Mom. Hope everyone is having a good day. It was sunny here this morning, but showers are coming our way.
Linda, Happy Birthday!!! Wish I was 50 again.
And on a grossed out note:I am not a nurse. I never thought I would be cleaning up my mother after a bowel movement! When she started needing help several years ago, I did it. You just do right? Well, I couldn't help but gag-every time! I am telling you-it has been years now and guess what? Altho I don't gag as much-I still gag iif it is really nasty! And the kicker is-my mom is a nurse-and she LAUGHS at me EVERY time and tells me-I will never make a good nurse!!! She even tells other people how I gag-and laughs again! She is a hoot! And I admit, I laugh with her!
Even if it's a quick trip to Florida for the time being:) love, Christina xo
Christina, always love to hear from you.
Cricket: We need our chirps. How are you doing.
I am going to school. I start on May 21. my classes go until Dec. I am so excited. The school courses work perfectly with my husband's and my schedules. I'll be going while my kids are in school. And my husband said he'll keep an eye on FIL for the one day that it conflicts with my schedule. He is so supportive. anyway, here's looking to the future with hope.
Happy birthday Linda. Welcome newbies. Hope everyone else gets more sleep than I'm going to get tonight.
Meanwhile: I'll be thinking about Omaha and the kids. Hope all goes well tonight.
I'm feeling sorry for my dad tonight. He was asking me if mom was home. I hate to remind him that she passed away, but when I do, he remembers. "Oh yeah, that's right." And I can see the sadness on his face. I told him she was waiting for him in heaven and my husband said she had a to do list waiting for him, but no smile. So I reminded him that Blackie and Houchie (dogs) were with mom and waiting for him too. That his old favorite chair was there and Houchie (90 lb) was just waiting for him to sit in it so she could climb up into his lap like she always loved to do. Well, that touched a spot in his heart and his face lit up and he laughed. So I tucked him into bed with a smile on his face and gave him a kiss goodnight.
When he passes, I pray all his dogs are with him again and that he and my mom can walk with all of them through fields of wildflowers, happy, whole and young.
That's a nice thought to end the night on. Love to everyone, Cattails.
I'm on a roll here.
Angel, Massage therapist rock. If you need a subject to practice homework on I would happily volunteer.
So great of you to get your Dad smiling, Cattails.
Sorry I have to get to work. Love you guys.
Just saw on FB that Ann's (Annt) mom has to have her leg amputated above the knee so please keep them in your prayers. Angelhair, I've always wanted to learn more about massage too. I knew I couldn't do it as a profession with my bag carpal tunnel, but I enjoy making people feel better too. Meanwhile, congrats on the triplets! I didn't know goats would have triplets. Well, I start my first class of Dementia Dialogues this morning. I'll keep you all posted if I learn anything new and helpful. Gotta run.
Love ya,
Diane
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDA.. 50 whoohoo! Now you get to really start living! Deef, I'm so glad you got to vent, you need to do it even if you have to use a laptop while sitting on the throne! I forgot who asked but I took care of Betty my MIL before Charlie, we went the whole route, hospice and all and I must say that if Dad gets as bad as your Mom Deef I will be putting him in NH nearby and let the professionals do the work while I oversee it and spend my time nurturing him emotionally. After 3 times of caregiving I have learned what doing that kind of care does to me on all levels and I won't be putting myself though that again. We all have our limits and thankfully I know where mine are this time around. You have my support and prayers for sure.
Love you all.
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Cricket: Good to hear from you. Glad you know your limits. After all the care taking you have done, you deserve a giant gold medal. You are an amazing person.
Diana: Hope the Dementia Dialogues offer you some comfort and understanding. You could probably teach the class.
Hope everyone has a good day.
I used to take her to visit her last living friend fairly regularly, until she passed last winter. I never did tell Mom Jeanette had died. She would have been heartbroken. Although your dad is not as advanced in this disease as my mom, you will eventually find that some things are better left unsaid. Just a bit of advice that I learned from experience. Hope it comes in handy for you.
Cricket, know what you mean about limits. I slowly getting to that point here. At least I have her at daycare 3 days, and Merry is here with her the other 4 days thanks to Mom's LTC insurance. But that is running out this fall, so my 6 sibs will have to make some decisions about Mom at that point.
Christina, I'm leaning more towards packing my backs and getting a one-way ticket out of here due to my husband more than my situation with Mom!!!
Meanwhile, I used to work at Old Sturbridge Village, an 1830's outdoor living history museum, up here in Mass. One spring I had the great honor of watching a lamb birth triplets!!! It was amazing!!!
Mom is much better since the Cipro knocked back the UTI. Yesterday was her first good day in 2 weeks. Yahoo!!!!
Okay, time for late lunch and laundry!
He does have some dementia; vascular would be my guess, due to the stroke. Sometimes when he has been sleeping deeply, he will wake up and not really be sure where he is in this world, but it comes back after he has fully left the travels of sleep. One day he woke up from that far away place and wanted to get up. I asked if he needed to go to the bathroom and he was able to tell me that he needed to go to work. So I explained that it was Sunday and he didn't need to go to work. Everything was fine and he deserved a day off. That worked and all was well.
I don't know what to do when he asks about my mom. It doesn't happen very often, but I'm afraid if I tell him she's around or make up something it will agitate him. Once when he asked me where she was, I did make up something, like she's around or gone to the store. Don't remember what I said exactly, but it upset him and he wanted to know if she was sick, was she alright, etc. So eventually I reminded him that mom was in heaven. Then he remembered and seemed to be at peace. I do take your words to heart and I'll continue to watch for more signs of confusion.
By the way, Deef, I am sorry your husband has been out of work for so long. You are like a one woman army. I'm amazed at all you do and can understand the frustration you feel. I'm not sure if you are serious about packing your bags, but if you are I trust your reasons. Take care. Cattails
The toilet seat was invented in Iowa, but twenty years later an Minnesotan invented the hole in it.
OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS
When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, 'I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents.'
THAT'S HER!
A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, 'Yep, dat's her!'
SWIM COMPETITION
A Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The Frenchwoman came in first, the Englishwoman second. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, 'I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used der arms.'
VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE
Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. 'The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400,' said the first Norwegian. 'Vell,' said the other one, 'At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more.'
A Swede took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota . While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to him in a friendly manner ... 'Look,' he said, 'let's have a game. If you answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink, if you can't, then you buy ME one, Okay?' 'Ya, dat sounds purty good,' said the Swede. The Indian said, 'My father and my mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?' The Swede scratched his head and finally said, 'I give up. Who vas it?' 'It was ME,' chortled the Indian. So the Swede paid for the drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Swede went into a bar and spotted one of his cronies, 'Sven,' he said, 'I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I buy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fair enough?' 'Fair enough,' said Sven. Okay....my fadder and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder, It vasn't my sister, Who vas it?' 'Search me, ' said Sven. 'I give up. Who vas it?' 'It vas some Indian up in Fargo, Nort Dakoda.'
FINGERNAILS
One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. 'Good gracious,' said Hilda, 'How did yew ever dew that?' 'It vas really simple,' was Lena 's reply ... 'I yust hid his false teeth.'
THE RELATIONS
Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee. 'Lena , vat ever happened tew our sex relations?' He asked. 'Vell, Ole, I yust don't know,' replied Lena. 'I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas.'
MUSIC SOLUTION
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it. 'Oh,' said Ole, 'I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet.' 'How come?' asked Lars.
'Vell,' Ole answered, 'because vith a clarinet, she can't sing.
THE PRANK CALL
The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. 'Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here' he says and hangs up. 'Who vas dat?' asks Lena . 'I donno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear.
On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena 's knee. Giggling, Lena said, 'Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to.' So Ole drove to Duluth.
Now, Christina, Cricket, Lindaheart, rip, JEN, luvsmom, BOBBIE, Meanwhile (you can bring your goats and your dogs.....Omaha too. Christina can cook and make margaritas. Oh man, does that sound like a plan that I could get my head around. Oh, and Cuz, I do have a small pond...no fish but at least some water. And we are 2 miles from the John Wayne Marina. Bobbie can take us for some crabbing and fishing. Christina, we will help you in the kitchen. I've got a mean blender.
Love you guys the most.