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I agree with cattails, don't be afraid to find some help. If it is all on your shoulders you might end up resentful and feeling unnapreciated; and that can put a lot of stress on the whole situation not to mention your relationship with you husband and son.
Thanks Cattails for advice no wonder when I post on here no one ever writes me back they don't know what I'm saying. HA I thought no one liked me this whole time. Not my son my daughter but, the same thing. Thanks for advice I think I will start asking around if anyone knows of anybody. She is great when its not family. My neice on my side of family which my MIL has known since she was little came over and sat one night with her & my daughter she was delightful I was told as soon as I walked in My daughter being 10 years old said MOMMY she was being sooo fake. I'm sure others can relate but I am going to tell the kids if they can't help me on couple nights a week when my daughter has games then I'm hiring somebody. My husband Is her son and I have seen on here where alot of you have the disfunction where boys are put on pedestal thats my MIL. I always thought she favored my husband and his brother. I know my husband is busy but I don't think it's right for him not to go to game or let me go & she can be left after 5:30 is earliest any of her games are because she has done ate all meds given to her. I don't mean left I meen he is in our shop in back yard he can do his job & check on her. I don't want me or my daughter to be resentful. I always went to my other 2 kids school fuctions and killing me to let my daughter down.
tbailey: We all love you. You just have to slow down and write in complete sentences. I think most on this site do write in complete sentences and we are older than you. Just breath and think about what you want us to understand.
It sounds like you got roped into bring the MIL home from the nursing home. She can go back and you need to remind your husband of that. If your husband has been one of those busy guys that doesn't take time to go to his kids games, then he's probably not going to want to be disrupted by having to check on his mom. Just another thing he doesn't feel like he has time to do. So that's a question of his priorities.
You have priorities too. You are a mom first and your children will only be this age now. If MIL's presence creates a situation where you children are left out, then set some ground rules. You are going to the games. Tell you hubby no text will be accepted. You guys sit down and figure out how to get in home care that frees you up to be with your kids. If not, MIL goes back to the nursing home. You don't have to be left holding the 24/7 bag and neither do your kids.
Hugs, Cattails.......Don't forget. Breath and use complete sentences.
YEA!!!!! I'm serious I was so happy to see your reply. Yes, I agree thats my problem. I'm always trying to go to fast. With everything I do. Thanks for the advice. I have to say I agreeded to let MIL come live here.And, for the past couple years since she has gotten worse when her roomate left she came here. She would only stay with us out of all 4 kids. I have always heard her say I'm just like one of her own. I just heard my husband & his sister saying how we are going to get mother better we this we that well lately its has been me me me.so after your advice I'm changing things I have to my daughter is not going to suffer. Thanks again for making me feel loved. I'm 40 and yes I know thats young but a old sole. Hugs, Tracy & yes I even need to be reminded to breath. My fed ex lady that picks up says that to me alot.
Tbaily-so you are raising a family-helping your husband in his job and caring for your MIL -this is not fair use her money to have someone come in to care for her everyday-she probably does not even appreciate what you do for her anyway or treat you with respect-you do not deserve to be treated this way-if for some reason this is not acceptable to your husband -then she needs to go to a nursing home-give them all a choice hired help for her or the nursing home.
All of this reminds me of babies. They can be gross or cute! It is just unbearable with our elders because they are old! Their "stuff" they do can really surprise you. It is also the looks you get from others around you. But, bless their hearts, they (our loved ones) don't realize this. We do! Laughter is the best medicine we can give ourselves. So, laugh. There's plenty of time for other bad emotions.
One word, STEROIDS!!! Helped my back out pronto. Hip still abit sore, but able to haul Mom around like usual. Tbailey, post any way you want. sometimes we skim what is written and miss half the story. I don't think your lack of punctuation is a problem. It's our older attention span! Keep on venting it really does help! I have help with my mom 4 days a week. She took out LTC insurance 10 years ago and this is now paying for the help for the last 3 years. She is totally dependent on us for doing everything,including feeding. She still makes a huge mess at every meal. She will not, or cannot understand the command to open her mouth so we can put the food in. there are many, many times she closes her mouth before the food is halfway in, and then it goes everywhere. Sometimes it's funny, but after going through this 5 or 6 times a day, it gets old. It's almost impossible to get her meds into her mouth without a monumental effort. Not sure how much longer we can keep her at home. This week is the start of my 5th year caring for her, and I'm getting pretty worn out. It is what it is and I'll stick with it until I no longer can. Cold and rainy here for the next couple of days, but we really need it.
Deef, my heart goes out to you. I don't know how we all keep going.
Tbailey, don't listen to Deef. Use proper sentences if you want me to grasp what you are trying to convey. I agree with Deefer than it is not you posting that is the problem, just our attention span, or more honestly, our need for normal sentence structure. At least it is for me.
However, let me just say that I never skim what someone is saying. I pay attention to every sentence and try to take it all in. You reap what you sow, so my suggestion is that you think about what you are saying, takes breaths and make sense.
TBailey, I understood you just fine. Cattails lets just agree to disagree :) We are all just different in some ways and it's a beautiful thing because it helps us appreciate the uniqueness we each posses. My spelling and grammar are not always the best because I might be tired or maybe I just don't have the time to stop and think about everything I want to say before saying it. Cattails I hope you will overlook my errors when I make them. I have to say that some of the most humorous posts ever made on this thread where from Linda when I could barely make out what she would type but the way she would say things would have me in stitches as I would decipher her words! Linda has a special talent for using few broken words to actually say a lot! And even though I could only make out half of what she was saying somehow I knew and I could relate. Miss you Lindaheart and I hope you are okay.
Cuz, I loved the last joke! Thank you!! Deef, I'm glad the steroids helped you.
Well I'm off for the night, Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite! egads! *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
I gotta agree about Liinda's posts. They are the best. Ok, I'll just try to follow along. Tbailey, you just do what comes natural to you. Love you all, Cattails.
Glad that's done! Mom is in daycare 3 days in a row this week. Usually she goes MWF, but they are shorthanded this week so they asked if I could do another day instead of Friday, so Merry decided she would take 3 days off to clean her house, thus putting Mom in daycare 3 days in a row. She's about done in. As I was dressing her this morning, she was trying to undress. Then there was the pulling on the pants thing. When she is sitting on the toilet, she can't stop pulling on her pullups! Drives me crazy!!!!!! You no sooner sit her down, and she starts to stand up while pulling on her pants. She plays with them the whole time!!! I can't leave her at all, so I just hold onto her 2 hands while she sits. Then her teeth ended up on the floor before I could get them into her mouth. her hair was a mess, so while I was feeding her breakfast, I had the curling iron in my other hand to do her hair. As demented as she is, she still can't go by a mirror without looking at her hair and "primping". So i make sure it's done every day. Getting both a jacket and sweater on her is also a challenge as she is distracted from one second to the next. She has not been able to focus on anything for more than a few seconds for a long time now. this makes it very difficult to do any tasks with her. the worst is when I'm trying to get her down steps, into the car, and walking a few feet. Can't even begin to tell you how many times we have almost landed in the street, or how many times we have both gone down! mom is 5' 5' and I am only 5'1". So when she is standing tall. I lose leverage. Good thing I have some extra pounds and muscle to hold her up! Okay, lot's of errands and things to get done before 3, then the fun begins all over again!!! Everyone have a peaceful day out there!!!
deefer, I know how you feel. My FIL is 6'3" and I'm 5'8". He outweighs me by 70 lbs although he has been deteriorating to the point that I think it's closer to 60 lbs now. I am surprised that he hasn't taken me down with him yet. Usually I have the strength to push him upright if I am close enough to catch him when he falls.
On another note. Something strange happened yesterday. We had just finished supper. I took off on my bike to go search out my 9 year old son because he was two hours late. He had gone out to ride his bike and didn't come in when he was suppose to. I had my second eldest daughter with me. I get a call from MIL saying that FIL wasn't breathing. I told her I would be right there and I sent my daughter out in search of my son. When I got home he was breathing again, but he was pale white and unconscious, slouched in the chair at the dining room table. GGIL was holding him up while MIL was trying to get a response. She looked at me and said "He said Oh and his eyes rolled back in his head and he quit breathing." I walked over and started rubbing his arms, back, and neck while telling him "Wake up, Honey you need to wake up." over and over. He began to stir, but he wouldn't open his eyes and his breathing was very shallow. I told him "Sweetie, can you open your eyes?" "Look at my eyes, can you look at my eyes?" Well, he slitted his eyes a little bit and looked at me, but then he closed them again. I told MIL that we needed to get him up and move him to the couch before he slumped off the chair. So my 5'3" MIL and I lifted him and walked him to the couch with him barely supporting his own weight. I started rubbing his legs and arms up and down over and over while she was on the phone with Hospice. He seemed to wake up enough that we could get him stood up. We got him up the stairs to his bed by MIL pulling him up by the gatebelt and me pushing him up ffrom behind telling him to move each foot up at a time. 16 steps never seemed so long. We got him to bed and he went right to sleep. We couldn't even wake him enough to give him his meds. He never sleeps anymore. Not without his meds and not like that. Usually any little sound will wake him, but nothing could wake him last night. Not even when the Hospice nurse showed up and took his vitals. His vitals were good and strong, he just wouldn't wake up. He would stop breathing every so often through the night, but he would start again when MIL said breath honey, breath. To look at him the left side of his face seemed to be more droopy than normal. We thought maybe he had had a slight stroke, but there really is no way to tell. This morning he was just fine. Well, as fine as having his stage of alzhiemers can be. It was as if nothing had happened at all. We are stumped. The nurse is supposed to come and check him out again today. Oh, my son made it home all right. He apologized for being late and proceeded to ask me for a watch of his own. I told him I thought that might be a wise idea.
Anyway, I hope you all had less of an adventurous night than I had. Love you all, Angela
Angela, weird things happen with Mom too. No explanation for them. One minute she looks like she's on her way out, then the next she's fine. have a DNR here, so we just keep an eye on her and wait for the next episode to happen. I think the alz. dementia just progresses to the point where when they are really tired, their bodies just give in and don't remember things like breathing. Can't call the ambulance every time or we'd just be chasing our tails in a circle. It's a crazy thing to have to live with 24/7, but it is what it is. Do you have any hobbies to distract you? Oh yeah, 4? kids? That will do it! Or just add more chaos to your life! Anyway, sounds like you handled things just fine. Too bad your MIL has to go through all this. It must be so hard on her. My dad passed away 30 years ago at the age of 54, so I have been more or less dealing with Mom all these years. She started failing about 8 years ago when diagnosed with Parkinsons. the set in about 5 or 6 years ago. The last 2 years have been pretty trying, but home is the best place for her until I can't handle her anymore. I'll be 61 in August, so the last 5 years have taken their toll on my body. Of course my 6 sibs still get to have their lives and vacations and $$$. Yep! I'm the family dumping ground here, but at least I can live with myself! Hope you have a better day today. And get your son that watch!!!! no need to have the life scared out of you by him again.
Good Afternoon All, I just finished reading through some of the posts here and have to say they brought me a much needed smile. It seems like it has been raining here forever, not a good combo with caregiving. Not to mention, think I have an ear infection or strep throat if not any better tomorrow going to get checked, mom just finished second round of antibiotics for a UTI ( i am no stranger to these for sure ). however getting her to take a shower everyday is somewhat of a chore... just wanted to say hi to everyone.... a quick little story about mom i thought i would share... the other day the phone rings, i was unable to get to it in time and she answered, it was one of those automated campaign messages that just keeps repeating themselves, i happend to pick up and was listeing on the other end and she unaware that it was an automated messages just kept slightly yelling into the phone, " oh i am sorry I can't my husband just passed away " repeatedly until finally I said mom, its ok just hang up.... ( lol lol.... i explained it was prerecorded message and she was like OMG, they just wont stop calling me i dont know why, do you. lol lol ) I just said, no mom, i dont... have a great day everyone.... Angie
Angelhair and Deef: I've had something similar happen with my dad. It can be so weird. One time at the rehab place, he went from being ok to so out of it that the staff gathered around and did vitals and everything. It created a bit of a stir. Then he came out of it and was fine.
At home, he will fall asleep sometimes and is so deep into it that you absolutely can not wake him up. He can sometimes hear and will try to open his eyes, but it's like he is fighting to pull himself up from the depths of another world. A few hours later, he back.
My Mom is usually "out of it " when the nurse comes for the weekly visit, and the nurse documents that she is in the last stage and not much longer to live, etc. Then after she leaves, Mom usually perks up , eyes wide open, hands moving, plays with her cards. I guess we have similar thilngs going on, so we are not all crazy, it's just the process. I lost a filling again, chomping on popcorn! darn!
Yes, just like lil chilluns' they is...It er so cute when my grandfather tries to look down my shirt or at me bending over and smiles his sickly sweet smile and say "Good Mornin' Jenny..." And I am the one who cleaned out the porn and booze from his basement hole. My mom is afraid of losing her health insurance for having quit her job to look after him, while the stress of caring for him is making her tired and angry and worn out sick all the time and he just sits and watches TV and listens to the records grandma banned from the house after thirty years of repetition. He touches things with hands he never washes, complains about EVERYTHING under the sun while we have ended our lives to look after his every want, need and expectation for free, with out help for five years going on how ever many becasue unlike children there is not definable stage for when you die or may reach a level of care needed full time nursing...Ahhhhh, this is all just so cute I could hang myself in the garage...
Well thanks I will start taking my time. It does help to when I'm venting to go back and proof read sometimes. I can get carried away sometimes. Thats why I come here to this site.Yes I was working full time for my husband before my MIL came. Well it is weird he has went through about 5 guys trying to replace me & now has a good guy but no one to do shipping. Today the therapist came to excersise with MIL as soon as she got here he txt me I didnt answer it The therapist told me she thought MIL was refusing because she had accident so I changed her then my husband called & said I have 2 packages need to be ready by the time UPS gets here I said well you better hurry he will be here shortly I'm busy with your mom. I HOpe You all our proud of me....
Where do you live Tbailey? I was shipper/receiver for Old Sturbridge Village for 10 years. I'll come work for you!!! Really hated to quit that job to care for Mom. Lots of hard work and heavy lifting, but I loved that job!!!!! Jen, Hang in there!!! I hate all the sh!y too, but what can we do? Your Mom needs to start digging into his $$ to help. No sense not touching it when you need it to care for him. when he goes, the rest of the family will take what they can and leave you with nothing. Most of mom's $$ is gone, and all on her needs. When it runs out, my sibs can start paying for everything. i'm broke and broken from it all!!! Sure hoping to get back to the west coast again this year. This time you WILL come hang with me and RIP for sure. Susan, it never ceases to amaze me how they can look almost dead one minute and full of it the next! I'm sure it's the dementia making them forget how to breath, etc. How are you doing yourself? Crazy like the rest of us I'm sure! Pt showed up at daycare today and recommended we get Mom a high back reclining/ wheelchair. The Merry Walker is no longer an option as she cannot sit up well enough in it. She throws her head back and puts her feet way out in front of it. looked them up online and they run about $1600, so her insurance should pay for most of it with the PT's and doctor's recommendations. then I will hit the siblings with the rest of the cost. Anything to keep her in daycare!!! At least she ate well tonight, and mostly on her own. that was unusual but nice for a change. she was ready for bed early, so I got her ready as fast as I could! T Merry will be here for the next 4 days, so I can get some things done around here. my new 3 person swing for the yard came in, so I will be picking that up tomorrow and putting it together for the weekend. Niece is cutting my hair for me too!!! Yay!!! Okay, sink full of dishes awaits me as usual!
Deef: You are amazing. A one woman band, able to do so many mechanical things like the yard swing, the pool, etc. And then you have the compassion and ongoing strength to take care of your mom. I agree, anything to keep her in day care.
Tbailey: You are a wonderful person. Glad you are on the thread. You can only be so many places at one time so, yes, I'm proud of you. You spend as much time as you need to with the child at home. Go to the games and be the parent you want to be. Spend you MIL's money to get in home help so you can make your life and you child's life what it needs to be. If hubby doesn't like it, then he can make other arrangements for his mom.
Hey guys, I leave Friday am to fly to visit my Granddaughter. I haven't seen her in four years. That was not in the retirement agenda. I thought I'd be free to see her all the time. She's like my own child...I think I have said that before.
Talk to you all tomorrow. Glad to have you all as friends. Love Cattails.
Meanwhile2 and Anglehair, I too use to ride and rode thoroughbred race horse for a living way back n my teens and 20's. I would break them ,clean and all that good stuff and get them fit for races. I have always thought the Appaloosa is a very pretty horse and 30 yrs old is something to brag about. I miss the ole pony trail horse rides as well for we had our own too. It was very peaceful and you could spend the whole day on a trail ride. I use to tote a watermelon on the back of my Welch horse and bring it back home for everyone. The farm would throw their muck off through the woods where I guess they had been eating watermelon for lunch and huge watermelons would be growning all in the woods. I also use to stand on my pony horse's back and grab wild grapes and I would feed him some as I ate some. Of course, riding the thoroughbreds could be fun, exciting and never a dull day, the job did not offer medical benefits back then. I still miss it but I know I'm not fit enough to ride those but maybe a pony horse would be nice someday.
Hi everyone I got this from an e-mail that I had sent last night to rossella over in Italy. I had asked her how she was doing and this was her responce. LovCuz
Hi Cuz. I am just working very hard and when I have some spare time, I sleep! I am very tired in general, but I hope I can come back to the site soon! Give a kiss to everybody else on my behalf please!
Cuz: Is she still caring for her mom? Can you give us an update on Bobbie. Thanks for filling us in on Rosella. I never met her on this thread, but I have read old posts and know who she is. I envy the friendships that you oldies have made. They are dear to my heart because they are so real. Cattails.
TBailey, Yes, I am very proud of you! I bet it felt great telling your Husband exactly how it was. :) You have my support!
My Dad's in the Hospital tonight. He was displaying symptoms of a stroke so I called the paramedics. After running a bunch of tests the ER Doc said she wanted to admit him for observation. The early tests don't show anything abnormal. Hopefully the rest of the tests are the same. He became very incoherent and was unable to speak properly, he was unable to say a sentence, his blood pressure shot up.. both unusual for him. It could be TIA or the Dementia has taken a turn for the worse. It's after 3 AM and I'm just starting to wind down..
Good Morning, cattails, glad you get to see your granddaughter. It's true that we miss out on so much while caregiving. Deef, I was thinking about the highback wheelchair, it sounds like tit could work out. I had thought of getting one for my mom, but haven't followed up on it. My uncle passed away , and I can't even get to his funeral, trapped here with Mom. This is the most trapped I have felt so far. I'm glad you guys are all on here , it really helps to have a place to talk to others going through this!!..!! :) :) cricket, I hope your Dad is better today. Hang in there everyone. ssk
Deefer I live in Indiana out in country the little town down the rode is called Van Buren suppose to be known for Weaver popcorn company. I do love the job but I can't do it all. Good luck with getting your swing up. I'm the same way If I want it done I'll figure out a way. There is a site my 20 year old daughter has got me adicted to shows pictures on there of things people post They call it Pinning the site is called Pinterest. Alot of different things on there but I love the gardening and DIY boards. They have a swing bed made from pallets. I have a hammock that has soon seen its last summer, Love to replace it with something like that. cattails I hope you enjoy your grandaughter what a nice Mothers day Present. cricket I hope & pray your dad gets feeling better. My MIL is probaly in like stage 4 but she is either high anxiety or out. So weird how the dementa is. Lildeb what great memories you have I've always loved going to my grandpa's in kentucky he had work horses but, my little sister & I would stay at the barn with them and brush & talk to them and ride them and pretend they were ours and we were laura ingalls ha ha ...He lived on 100 acre farm country and we never even got far from house but we would play for hours. Love and Hugs to all my friends Thanks Ladys for being there for me I felt so good yesterday in the afternoon I finished painting my bathroom thats been waiting for a month.You are all such Great woman. Thanks
Susan, You just made my day!!!! Nothing like starting off with a good chuckle!!! Mom does well in her regular wheelchairs at home, but she gets tired at daycare and slowly slides down as the day goes on. Need a special order to have her restrained with a belt she can't release herself. the PT guy will address all that and get things approved. I have no problem with it if it will help the girls at daycare. They are looking to get a few clients hooked up with these "Cadillacs". It's to big to have at home, so when Mom is gone, I will try to sell it or maybe just donate it to the daycare. Of course they can't just put someone in it without doctor's orders. This rain probably isn't helping your trapped feeling. Not even nice enough to get out and walk. I was walking every day until my back went out on Saturday. Hoping to get out and do 2 miles this afternoon after I get my haircut. Can't wait for that either. Ever since I have had it so short I can't stand it when it grows in. Cricket, Did they check your dad for a UTI? That's how Mom presents almost every time. Have them do a urine just to be sure.It's amazing what a UTI can do to their whole system. Good luck today. Cattails, I envy you. I have 1 daughter and she and her husband do not want children, so I'll never get to be a grandmother. Sad for me, but not my choice to make. Hope you have a great trip! Thanks for the update Cuz! I need to e-mail her today. Her mom is so much like mine. Okay, off to get a few things done before Merry gets here to help with Mom.
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It sounds like you got roped into bring the MIL home from the nursing home. She can go back and you need to remind your husband of that. If your husband has been one of those busy guys that doesn't take time to go to his kids games, then he's probably not going to want to be disrupted by having to check on his mom. Just another thing he doesn't feel like he has time to do. So that's a question of his priorities.
You have priorities too. You are a mom first and your children will only be this age now. If MIL's presence creates a situation where you children are left out, then set some ground rules. You are going to the games. Tell you hubby no text will be accepted. You guys sit down and figure out how to get in home care that frees you up to be with your kids. If not, MIL goes back to the nursing home. You don't have to be left holding the 24/7 bag and neither do your kids.
Hugs, Cattails.......Don't forget. Breath and use complete sentences.
Tbailey, post any way you want. sometimes we skim what is written and miss half the story. I don't think your lack of punctuation is a problem. It's our older attention span! Keep on venting it really does help!
I have help with my mom 4 days a week. She took out LTC insurance 10 years ago and this is now paying for the help for the last 3 years. She is totally dependent on us for doing everything,including feeding. She still makes a huge mess at every meal. She will not, or cannot understand the command to open her mouth so we can put the food in. there are many, many times she closes her mouth before the food is halfway in, and then it goes everywhere. Sometimes it's funny, but after going through this 5 or 6 times a day, it gets old. It's almost impossible to get her meds into her mouth without a monumental effort.
Not sure how much longer we can keep her at home. This week is the start of my 5th year caring for her, and I'm getting pretty worn out. It is what it is and I'll stick with it until I no longer can.
Cold and rainy here for the next couple of days, but we really need it.
Tbailey, don't listen to Deef. Use proper sentences if you want me to grasp what you are trying to convey. I agree with Deefer than it is not you posting that is the problem, just our attention span, or more honestly, our need for normal sentence structure. At least it is for me.
However, let me just say that I never skim what someone is saying. I pay attention to every sentence and try to take it all in. You reap what you sow, so my suggestion is that you think about what you are saying, takes breaths and make sense.
No offense Deef. I'm just an anal retentive soul.
Love you Cattails.
TBailey, I understood you just fine. Cattails lets just agree to disagree :) We are all just different in some ways and it's a beautiful thing because it helps us appreciate the uniqueness we each posses. My spelling and grammar are not always the best because I might be tired or maybe I just don't have the time to stop and think about everything I want to say before saying it. Cattails I hope you will overlook my errors when I make them. I have to say that some of the most humorous posts ever made on this thread where from Linda when I could barely make out what she would type but the way she would say things would have me in stitches as I would decipher her words! Linda has a special talent for using few broken words to actually say a lot! And even though I could only make out half of what she was saying somehow I knew and I could relate. Miss you Lindaheart and I hope you are okay.
Cuz, I loved the last joke! Thank you!! Deef, I'm glad the steroids helped you.
Well I'm off for the night, Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite! egads!
*´¨)
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Okay, lot's of errands and things to get done before 3, then the fun begins all over again!!! Everyone have a peaceful day out there!!!
On another note. Something strange happened yesterday. We had just finished supper. I took off on my bike to go search out my 9 year old son because he was two hours late. He had gone out to ride his bike and didn't come in when he was suppose to. I had my second eldest daughter with me. I get a call from MIL saying that FIL wasn't breathing. I told her I would be right there and I sent my daughter out in search of my son. When I got home he was breathing again, but he was pale white and unconscious, slouched in the chair at the dining room table. GGIL was holding him up while MIL was trying to get a response. She looked at me and said "He said Oh and his eyes rolled back in his head and he quit breathing." I walked over and started rubbing his arms, back, and neck while telling him "Wake up, Honey you need to wake up." over and over. He began to stir, but he wouldn't open his eyes and his breathing was very shallow. I told him "Sweetie, can you open your eyes?" "Look at my eyes, can you look at my eyes?" Well, he slitted his eyes a little bit and looked at me, but then he closed them again. I told MIL that we needed to get him up and move him to the couch before he slumped off the chair. So my 5'3" MIL and I lifted him and walked him to the couch with him barely supporting his own weight. I started rubbing his legs and arms up and down over and over while she was on the phone with Hospice. He seemed to wake up enough that we could get him stood up. We got him up the stairs to his bed by MIL pulling him up by the gatebelt and me pushing him up ffrom behind telling him to move each foot up at a time. 16 steps never seemed so long. We got him to bed and he went right to sleep. We couldn't even wake him enough to give him his meds. He never sleeps anymore. Not without his meds and not like that. Usually any little sound will wake him, but nothing could wake him last night. Not even when the Hospice nurse showed up and took his vitals. His vitals were good and strong, he just wouldn't wake up. He would stop breathing every so often through the night, but he would start again when MIL said breath honey, breath. To look at him the left side of his face seemed to be more droopy than normal. We thought maybe he had had a slight stroke, but there really is no way to tell. This morning he was just fine. Well, as fine as having his stage of alzhiemers can be. It was as if nothing had happened at all.
We are stumped. The nurse is supposed to come and check him out again today.
Oh, my son made it home all right. He apologized for being late and proceeded to ask me for a watch of his own. I told him I thought that might be a wise idea.
Anyway, I hope you all had less of an adventurous night than I had.
Love you all, Angela
Do you have any hobbies to distract you? Oh yeah, 4? kids? That will do it! Or just add more chaos to your life! Anyway, sounds like you handled things just fine. Too bad your MIL has to go through all this. It must be so hard on her. My dad passed away 30 years ago at the age of 54, so I have been more or less dealing with Mom all these years. She started failing about 8 years ago when diagnosed with Parkinsons. the set in about 5 or 6 years ago. The last 2 years have been pretty trying, but home is the best place for her until I can't handle her anymore. I'll be 61 in August, so the last 5 years have taken their toll on my body.
Of course my 6 sibs still get to have their lives and vacations and $$$. Yep! I'm the family dumping ground here, but at least I can live with myself!
Hope you have a better day today. And get your son that watch!!!! no need to have the life scared out of you by him again.
At home, he will fall asleep sometimes and is so deep into it that you absolutely can not wake him up. He can sometimes hear and will try to open his eyes, but it's like he is fighting to pull himself up from the depths of another world. A few hours later, he back.
Angie: Hope you get to feeling better soon.
Have a good day everyone,
I lost a filling again, chomping on popcorn! darn!
Children? Right?....
Jen, Hang in there!!! I hate all the sh!y too, but what can we do? Your Mom needs to start digging into his $$ to help. No sense not touching it when you need it to care for him. when he goes, the rest of the family will take what they can and leave you with nothing. Most of mom's $$ is gone, and all on her needs. When it runs out, my sibs can start paying for everything. i'm broke and broken from it all!!!
Sure hoping to get back to the west coast again this year. This time you WILL come hang with me and RIP for sure.
Susan, it never ceases to amaze me how they can look almost dead one minute and full of it the next! I'm sure it's the dementia making them forget how to breath, etc. How are you doing yourself? Crazy like the rest of us I'm sure!
Pt showed up at daycare today and recommended we get Mom a high back reclining/ wheelchair. The Merry Walker is no longer an option as she cannot sit up well enough in it. She throws her head back and puts her feet way out in front of it. looked them up online and they run about $1600, so her insurance should pay for most of it with the PT's and doctor's recommendations. then I will hit the siblings with the rest of the cost. Anything to keep her in daycare!!!
At least she ate well tonight, and mostly on her own. that was unusual but nice for a change. she was ready for bed early, so I got her ready as fast as I could!
T
Merry will be here for the next 4 days, so I can get some things done around here. my new 3 person swing for the yard came in, so I will be picking that up tomorrow and putting it together for the weekend. Niece is cutting my hair for me too!!! Yay!!!
Okay, sink full of dishes awaits me as usual!
Tbailey: You are a wonderful person. Glad you are on the thread. You can only be so many places at one time so, yes, I'm proud of you. You spend as much time as you need to with the child at home. Go to the games and be the parent you want to be. Spend you MIL's money to get in home help so you can make your life and you child's life what it needs to be. If hubby doesn't like it, then he can make other arrangements for his mom.
Hey guys, I leave Friday am to fly to visit my Granddaughter. I haven't seen her in four years. That was not in the retirement agenda. I thought I'd be free to see her all the time. She's like my own child...I think I have said that before.
Talk to you all tomorrow. Glad to have you all as friends. Love Cattails.
I have always thought the Appaloosa is a very pretty horse and 30 yrs old is something to brag about.
I miss the ole pony trail horse rides as well for we had our own too. It was very peaceful and you could spend the whole day on a trail ride. I use to tote a watermelon on the back of my Welch horse and bring it back home for everyone. The farm would throw their muck off through the woods where I guess they had been eating watermelon for lunch and huge watermelons would be growning all in the woods. I also use to stand on my pony horse's back and grab wild grapes and I would feed him some as I ate some. Of course, riding the thoroughbreds could be fun, exciting and never a dull day, the job did not offer medical benefits back then. I still miss it but I know I'm not fit enough to ride those but maybe a pony horse would be nice someday.
LovCuz
Hi Cuz. I am just working very hard and when I have some spare time, I sleep! I am very tired in general, but I hope I can come back to the site soon! Give a kiss to everybody else on my behalf please!
My Dad's in the Hospital tonight. He was displaying symptoms of a stroke so I called the paramedics. After running a bunch of tests the ER Doc said she wanted to admit him for observation. The early tests don't show anything abnormal. Hopefully the rest of the tests are the same. He became very incoherent and was unable to speak properly, he was unable to say a sentence, his blood pressure shot up.. both unusual for him. It could be TIA or the Dementia has taken a turn for the worse. It's after 3 AM and I'm just starting to wind down..
OMG Jen....hang on!
Nighty night all,
Love Cricket
Deef, I was thinking about the highback wheelchair, it sounds like tit could work out. I had thought of getting one for my mom, but haven't followed up on it.
My uncle passed away , and I can't even get to his funeral, trapped here with Mom. This is the most trapped I have felt so far.
I'm glad you guys are all on here , it really helps to have a place to talk to others going through this!!..!! :) :)
cricket, I hope your Dad is better today. Hang in there everyone. ssk
cattails I hope you enjoy your grandaughter what a nice Mothers day Present.
cricket I hope & pray your dad gets feeling better. My MIL is probaly in like stage 4 but she is either high anxiety or out. So weird how the dementa is.
Lildeb what great memories you have I've always loved going to my grandpa's in kentucky he had work horses but, my little sister & I would stay at the barn with them and brush & talk to them and ride them and pretend they were ours and we were laura ingalls ha ha ...He lived on 100 acre farm country and we never even got far from house but we would play for hours.
Love and Hugs to all my friends Thanks Ladys for being there for me I felt so good yesterday in the afternoon I finished painting my bathroom thats been waiting for a month.You are all such Great woman. Thanks
Mom does well in her regular wheelchairs at home, but she gets tired at daycare and slowly slides down as the day goes on. Need a special order to have her restrained with a belt she can't release herself. the PT guy will address all that and get things approved. I have no problem with it if it will help the girls at daycare. They are looking to get a few clients hooked up with these "Cadillacs". It's to big to have at home, so when Mom is gone, I will try to sell it or maybe just donate it to the daycare. Of course they can't just put someone in it without doctor's orders.
This rain probably isn't helping your trapped feeling. Not even nice enough to get out and walk. I was walking every day until my back went out on Saturday. Hoping to get out and do 2 miles this afternoon after I get my haircut. Can't wait for that either. Ever since I have had it so short I can't stand it when it grows in.
Cricket, Did they check your dad for a UTI? That's how Mom presents almost every time. Have them do a urine just to be sure.It's amazing what a UTI can do to their whole system. Good luck today.
Cattails, I envy you. I have 1 daughter and she and her husband do not want children, so I'll never get to be a grandmother. Sad for me, but not my choice to make. Hope you have a great trip!
Thanks for the update Cuz! I need to e-mail her today. Her mom is so much like mine.
Okay, off to get a few things done before Merry gets here to help with Mom.