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Hi gals just thought I would touch base on the tick bite. No weird side effects yet so I think I might be past that part of the ordeal. As for breathing in all the bat shit and mice shit dust who knows what that is going to bring down the road. Felling real good though mentally I'm shot. I found out that my sister and her husband were vacationing in Alaska and were involved in a bad head on crash where a couple from Florida crossed the center line at struck their car head on. My sisters husband of only 5 yrs was killed on impact. My sister was flown by airrow med to the nearst hospital in serious condition. I talked with her tonight and she has a broken arm, broken teeth and lots of bruises from both the airbag and the seatbelt. They had to use the jaws to cut them out of the car. You can't wish this loss on anybody but you never know when your time is up. Rick loved Alaska and part of him will blow over Alaska and the rest will be spread at his favorite lake here in Michigan. Its been a very tough day for me today so forgive me if I don't have jokes for yous tonight. Hugs to everyone. lovCuz
Dear Cuz: I am so deeply sorry for your loss and your sister's loss. It's true that for all the things we worry about, more often than not what comes at us is entirely out of the blue and unexpected. Just goes to show you how senseless it is to spend years worrying about the what if's.
Again, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I will keep all of you in my prayers, especially your sis. I pray she can pick up the pieces of her life and find comfort and happiness in the years ahead. This is heartbreaking. God Bless You and yours. Cattails.
Wow cuz I'm really sad to read that my neighbors just got back from Disneyland and just as they reached our town they got guitar head on awesome by some drunk kid luckly everyone walked away..... My gf and client ( she loves it when I call her my client Haha) is fighting nh lympohmatic cancer attacking her brain and spine went to remission for the second time which is great. But now the fun part they are going to evaluate her for stem cell transplant next week ...so I'm so glad I found this site I have a feeling um gonna.need some.friends who will be able to relate during this process...so thank you all in advance for your words ...good luck and have a great weds ...
Cuz I am so sorry for your loss and hope your sister recovers completely and has lots of people to lean on in the comming days and years and she is so lucky to have you in her life. My nephew was doing reserrch in stem cells while earning his PHD, and a granddaughter of a friend of mine just had a bone marrow transplant -it is amazing how far medicine has come whemn I first was in nursing there was nothing that could be done for people with those illnesses.
Cuz, so sorry to hear about your sister and her husband. I'll keep you all in my prayers. Tim, good luck with the stem cell transplant. At least there is hope and that is very important. This group is amazing and will be there every step of the way for you.
The rest of the crew, just wanted to say hello and thank you again for your love and support.
Cuz, sorry to hear of the loss of your sister's husband. jAnd for her hardships. Tim, wishing you hope with the stem cell transplant. My mom has another uti, so am trying to get meds into her 3x a day. It's getting hard watching someone slowly decline. She must weigh about 80 lbs, and I keep cooking stuff for her, (and then eat it myself!) I have no renters now, and the privacy feels good. I'm going to get a webcam so I can talk to my sons . I've never used one so it'll be a new experience. Diane, I like your logo photo. Hi bobbie, deef, ausitn Jen, Cattails, cricket, and whoever else is reading. ssk
Oh, Cuz, what a nighmare for your sister. Brought tears to my eyes reading it. Makes what I felt to be the weight of the world on my shoulders yesterday, seem so trivial today in comparison. Keeping you in my thoughts.
Well, I was almost done writing n my whole stuff just disappear before I hit enter. Man!! Try again. The Caregiver conference was really great n educational. The PAR from the mnl dr finally called back after hubby made another called n told them its been over a wk n we needed that form completed. It cost $25.00 for the form n she won't need a physical. Hubby wanted to know being we may need another place for overnight in case of ER that will we have to pay that amount per form per place? She told us to get them all together at once n their be only one fee for those forms. To me it still seem unfair charging for we already paid for a form stating she was diagnosed with AD. At least they called us back finally,. Now the bad new, my stupid ass late last night took the wrong insulin before bedtime. Yep, I took 6units of rapid insulin instead of 6 units of slow lantus insulin. Let just say for those who r not familiar with diabetes n insulin type that I am very sensitive to rapid insulin. I had to call a dr to find out what to do for my stupid ass mistake for getting in a hurry to watch rest of the movie. Long story shot, hubby n I stayed up until 2am treating low bloodsugars (b/s). So, I am pretty exausted today. I am so glad that the mnl didn't wake up while my timer was going off every 30 minuets to remind me to check my b/s n treat it with glucose tabs, sandwich, juice n more glucose tabs. I guess, you can say I am using up my 9lives n I thank my guardian angels watching over me and my hubby. Just because my stupid ass got in a hurry n not paying attention to my own health. I would had been no good for the mnl if I was up in hospital in a coma or worse. PLEASE EVERYONE take it into consideration when Cricket mention, "Lets stay in the now and do the best we can and let our lights shine."
The movie was very good called, "How do you know," with Reese Witherspoons, Owen Wilson, n Jack Nicholson on Netflix. However it was not worth one of my 9 lives. For those who get in a hurry, please slow down n breathe n take care of yourself n don't do something stupid as I done. Stupid, stupid, stupid.... Leason learned. I need a nap for I am wiped out. ; )
Hi all. Just finished a cook-a-thon -- 2 weeks' worth of meals for FIL to pick out of his dentures -- before heading off to the other side of the country to visit my dad for Father's Day and the following 2 weeks. Wishing you all peace, strength and hope! Love, Betty
Lildeb: Bless your heart. Good thing you caught the mistake and were able to take care of the problem. That's really scary. I agree that we all need to be mindful of what we are doing. It's so easy to make a mistake when we are rushing or distracted. My MIL had eye drops for glaucoma and she kept them in the kitchen. One morning she grabbed the crazy glue that she had set beside her eye drops and actually started to put it in her eyes. She was so fortunate to have escaped that situation with no damage.
Take care everyone. We are all an accident waiting to happen. Hugs, Cattails
Cuz, Sorry for your loss.. I really feel for your sister too, what a tragedy. Prayers for you both. xoxo
Tim, we are here for you too.
Jen...okay okay we get it, lol Having to spend anymore time rewriting this experience is enough to put anyone over the edge anyway.
Lildeb, I'm sure glad everything turned out okay with your insulin mistake. Don't beat yourself up over it anymore, it was an honest mistake. I try to look at mistakes as reminders for us so we don't repeat them and even then there are times... Bottom line, you're just human and shit happens. xoxo
Betty, be safe and good luck on your trip! *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Hugs from Cricketღ
cuz, I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the tragedy your sister is gong through that really is just too much! I wish peace to you both and hope for her to heal her injuries and wounds.
"Jen...okay okay we get it, lol Having to spend anymore time rewriting this experience is enough to put anyone over the edge anyway."
Betty, I hope you have a great time with your own dad in the country n at least the fil is stocked up so he can stuff his face n dig in his falsey for seconds. ; )
I'm mostly just lurking and reading posts. Hope that doesn't make me a creepy stalker. Cuz, so sorry. Cricket and Cattails, thanks for being so positive, love reading your posts. Love everyone's posts.
cattails,Timsherwood, austin, dtflex,sskape,JudymW,cricket, Jsomebody and everyone else I might have missed Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. My sisters 3 kids were flown up to Alaska by my sisters boss at no cost to them. They will stay until she can fly home which might be this weekend if she can handle the 16 hour flight back to Michigan. She is mighty sore and messed up by both the seatbelt and the airbags. She will need her teeth fixed and she had a broken arm. Thanx again for the support for being just a reader of this site and not a care giver. Hugs to all of you. LovCuz
The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents.
They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip bars. The rules say that from now on, if agents feel compelled to engagein such behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else.
A nice reflection on aging. Of course the writer is neglecting some of the less fun parts, and we know moe about them than we ever wanted!
Some very true words to ponder….I hope you enjoy.
As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50, 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.
I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
beautiful CUZ ! it is so true , i am begin to feel that way myself .
cuz- i am so sorry to hear about ur sister and am glad she is going to get better but deeply sad to hear about her husband , oh my heart aches . i am so terribley sorry , many hugs to u and ur families . xoxox
Cuz, it is so very true! Thanks for sharing that. I'm glad to hear your sister is getting support...I pray for angels to go to her. You are way more than just a reader here to us.. you are a strong support beam! Thank you for all that you do.
Hey there! Still alive here. Had a busy weekend cooking for my SIL's 70th birthday on Sunday. As always, getting everything done so I can leave for a few hours is more trouble than it's worth!!! I've not been sleeping well for the past week. I have restless leg syndrome and it has been nasty lately. Even the requip doesn't help. Then I got up on Monday morning with a stomach bug and have been doing the nasty all week. I was barely able to get Mom out the door for daycare on Monday. When I got home, I just fell into bed until I had to pick her up in the afternoon. Today id the first day I feel more normal. Also have internet issues and could not read posts for a few days. Bobbie, I have autoimmune disease and get tested for RA regularly. I do have major acid reflux, since I was a teenager and I also have Raynauds and urticaria. Both of these presented after a major infection in my appendix when I was 39. I first started getting wheals or hives on my skin when I went into cold water at the beach, or in the winter. I would even get hives on my hands in the freezer section of the grocery store. Cold causes severe joint pain and the skin lesions and also makes it difficult for me to breath. The Raynauds is simply my capillaries and small surface blood vessels to close off making my skin turn blue and causing some pain. I also get the hives from it too. If I get too cold, like fall into cold water, I can go into anaphylactic shock. I take 360 mgs of heart medication every day to keep this under control. It also causes me to have a resting pulse of 115 to 120 and without the meds, it races up to 170 + just climbing stairs. as Bobbie said, all it takes is some kind of trauma in your life, whether physical or mental, to bring on a major health issue. Cricket, How was Snow White? Evil Deef here! Get dad a blowup doll and make him clean it after he has his way with her!!! Angel, You sound so busy, but very happy! Tim, Good luck to you and your friend! Linda, I remember your "chigger" stories from last year! Yuck!!! I don't think we have those here in central Mass. Meanwhile and Mame, I don't know how you can stand that heat!!! Yes, I'm allergic to the cold, but I'm still a winter girl! I have always hated the heat, even as a kid! Try to stay cool! Betty, safe trip and enjoy your visit with Dad! Lildeb, wow, close call for you. I know what you mean about f'ing up! I do dumb stuff all the time while trying to rush or do too many things at once! I hate it. Cuz, Sorry to hear about your sis and her husband. Merry, Mom's aid grew up in Alaska. She is Aleut. Talks about how beautiful it is, but also the isolation when there is an emergency. Hope she can get home soon and find a way to deal with her loss. Cattails, Mom is a great one for shitting on my shoes or bare feet. And peeing, well she does that on everything, including my hands! It's no fun, that's for sure!! I hate it most when she does it in the shower and on the shower stool. No pun intended! Susan, Mom lost some weight with her latest cold and UTI. She is very difficult to feed, as she no longer gets it when you tell her to open her mouth to put food in. Plus she is always moving, so the nutrition gets burned up quickly. Diane, I'm so proud of you! Getting everything straightened out with the lawyer, your doctor, etc. is an accomplishment YOU should be proud of too. Good to see your brother has calmed down for now. I'm with you on the lack of sleep! What I would give for just 1 morning of sleeping in! What a luxury! I spent the last 2 days trying to find out why Mom's LTC reimbursement checks are so far behind. There is no money to pay Merry and no money for bills. They now owe Mom over $3000 that we could really use! They say that they never got the payroll sheets from the last 2 weeks in April. I sent them in their envelope just like I always do. I know they are floating around there in someone's office, but they will never admit that! So i have to send them another set and wait for them to be processed. In the meantime, my sister(POA) was supposed to get $$ from Mom's IRA to help with the bills. etc. That was 3 weeks ago and when I called her today, she hadn't done it yet!!!! So, I told her she would have to get $$ and put it into Mom's checking so I could pay Merry today. She was going to trans fer it from her savings into Mom's account. Savings??? What's that? This is the same sister that was complaining that her boyfriend just got a new job and they won't be able to go anywhere or do anything all summer because he will be working weekends too. Geez, I wonder what that feels like to not be able to go anywhere and have a savings account besides!!!!! get a clue people!!!!! Jen, as always, love your way with words! Wish I lived closer! I would come and visit and put FP to shame. I don't mince words with the likes of him!!! Keep writing and get it out of your system. Shit! It's much later than I thought! Got dishes to do and cats to feed, then bed to sleep for a change, I hope! night everyone!!!
An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him,
"Grampa, what is couple sex?"
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs."
Sorry been a bit down today. The news about Cuz's brother-in-law hit me hard. And my anniversary would have been last week. My heart goes out to your sister. Thanks for the jokes. I needed some cheering up. Deef, hope you get some sleep tonight. Omaha, the rescue horse, came in from the pasture with a big piece of cactus stuck on his nose. Came right up to me, to show me he needed help. Most horses are like little kids, they don't want you to touch something sore, they know it will hurt. But, he stood there, waited, while I went back to the house for some heavy leather gloves, then let me pull all the spines out, without even a rope on him. He is a special horse.
Deef: It's good to hear from you. I was getting a little concerned. I wish I could stay with your mom for a couple of days and send you to a nice little cottage on a lake or something. Just some place where you could sleep.
Meanwhile: Sending you hugs and wishing you comfort. Omaha is a very special horse. He's wise and kind. He knows you can be trusted. Animals can give us such amazing complements. They are always right.
Diane: I think of you all the time and am so impressed by the ground you have covered over the past weeks. You talk more about your mom in a way that makes sense. By that I mean you speak of her and the problems she has in a way that explains the stress you endure taking care of her. Glad your brother has gotten a grip on his behavior and I hope it lasts for a while. Keep moving forward, Diane, toward a better life for you.
Jen: You have so much more to say. Keep writing about what's in your heart.
Bobbie: I use to have a recurrent dream. It was scary and left me feeling a bit freaked and displaced. One day I sat down and wrote a poem about it. I had never written a poem before, but found it didn't have to rhyme or any of that. Each line was about the "feeling" of the dream. Actually easier to write than prose. Just the feeling of the dream, line by line. I never had the dream again and I came to understand that I was dreaming about loss. All the things I couldn't go back to; all the familiar that was no longer a part of my life. You can't go back either. Try to write about the feeling; that stuff in the pit of your gut when you have the dreams. Don't judge it, just write it, a line at a time. Not a paragraph of explanation. Just lines of the feel. That's poetry, just the essence.
Cricket: Chrip, Chrip. Sending you bug hugs.
Betty: Have a good visit with your dad. Hope you get a few days this summer to just enjoy being Betty.
Mame: Thanks for the post and the invitation to come visit and see fireflies. I hope I can take you up on that sometime soon. Would love to meet you.
Tim: I'm keeping you and your "client" in my prayers.
Linda: Watch out for the chiggers. OMG, it makes my blood run cold to think for those invisible creatures and the havoc they cause.
Cuz: Sending love to you and your sis. What can I say except I'm so sorry.
I know I missed a few, but sending love to all of you. HEY, if you don't mind I'm going to send you a little nature note from time to time. It's what keeps me going.
Hey Deef glad you are hanging in there...same here. A day with no rain and I mowed after two weeks...So got something done. No plans for the weekend like there would be..oh it Father's Day right..yes mom will make that an ordeal...Do we h a v e to?.....
Cat we had a pt. who was going to have eye and was to put drops into eye before comming to the hospital and he picked up crazy glue and put that into his eye-the er doc was able to fix the problem and then called the crazy glue company and they said that happens a lot and the doc asked them it they could change the bottle of crazy glue so it did not have the same color top as eye drops are and they said no they were not going to change anything and that people should keep eye drops in the medician closet and crazy glue in the garage but that was years ago and I thought they may have change things by now-so it is easy to make that mistake because older people tend to keep both in the kitchen.
Once again, when I think I am alone in a situation, I just need to read this site for a while.
I can't look at Mom when she eats either. The woman who patrolled the dinner table as the manners police when we were growing up is doing everything she corrected us for doing. I try not to look. Her mind doesn't tell her to move closer to her plate, to use a knife to cut something, to keep her hands out of fruit with dressing. And she has about a 75% success rate in actually getting a bite into her mouth instead of her lap.
And, of course, she insists on wearing her "Sunday Best" every day - clothes that are Dry Clean Only, if you can imagine. That falls into the category of "Battles Not Worth Fighting".
Cuz, I'm so very sorry for your loss and the pain and suffering your sister and her kids are enduring. Yes, something you read about but never happens to you. How sad....I wish her a speedy recovery. Hang in there.
Hi everyone. I went to the airport this afternoon to pickup my sister. She looked like she had been run over by a Mack truck. She is black and blue in places that should not be black and blue. From her forehead all the way to her ankles. She does have a broken left arm, chipped teeth, and something wrong with her pinky finger that the drs. in Alaska didn't want to work on. She has to see an orthopidic surgeon to find out what is going to happen. She is a strong believer and has a great testimony about what happened. Thank you for all of your prayers because the healing process is going to take a while both physically and mentally like meanwhile had stated. Thank you again cause you are a great group of supporters. Hugs to all LOVCUZ
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
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Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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lovCuz
Again, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I will keep all of you in my prayers, especially your sis. I pray she can pick up the pieces of her life and find comfort and happiness in the years ahead. This is heartbreaking. God Bless You and yours. Cattails.
My gf and client ( she loves it when I call her my client Haha) is fighting nh lympohmatic cancer attacking her brain and spine went to remission for the second time which is great. But now the fun part they are going to evaluate her for stem cell transplant next week ...so I'm so glad I found this site I have a feeling um gonna.need some.friends who will be able to relate during this process...so thank you all in advance for your words ...good luck and have a great weds ...
Tim, good luck with the stem cell transplant. At least there is hope and that is very important. This group is amazing and will be there every step of the way for you.
The rest of the crew, just wanted to say hello and thank you again for your love and support.
Have as good a day as possible!
Tim, wishing you hope with the stem cell transplant.
My mom has another uti, so am trying to get meds into her 3x a day. It's getting hard watching someone slowly decline. She must weigh about 80 lbs, and I keep cooking stuff for her, (and then eat it myself!)
I have no renters now, and the privacy feels good. I'm going to get a webcam so I can talk to my sons . I've never used one so it'll be a new experience.
Diane, I like your logo photo.
Hi bobbie, deef, ausitn Jen, Cattails, cricket, and whoever else is reading. ssk
The Caregiver conference was really great n educational.
The PAR from the mnl dr finally called back after hubby made another called n told them its been over a wk n we needed that form completed. It cost $25.00 for the form n she won't need a physical. Hubby wanted to know being we may need another place for overnight in case of ER that will we have to pay that amount per form per place? She told us to get them all together at once n their be only one fee for those forms. To me it still seem unfair charging for we already paid for a form stating she was diagnosed with AD. At least they called us back finally,.
Now the bad new, my stupid ass late last night took the wrong insulin before bedtime. Yep, I took 6units of rapid insulin instead of 6 units of slow lantus insulin. Let just say for those who r not familiar with diabetes n insulin type that I am very sensitive to rapid insulin. I had to call a dr to find out what to do for my stupid ass mistake for getting in a hurry to watch rest of the movie. Long story shot, hubby n I stayed up until 2am treating low bloodsugars (b/s). So, I am pretty exausted today. I am so glad that the mnl didn't wake up while my timer was going off every 30 minuets to remind me to check my b/s n treat it with glucose tabs, sandwich, juice n more glucose tabs. I guess, you can say I am using up my 9lives n I thank my guardian angels watching over me and my hubby. Just because my stupid ass got in a hurry n not paying attention to my own health. I would had been no good for the mnl if I was up in hospital in a coma or worse.
PLEASE EVERYONE take it into consideration when Cricket mention, "Lets stay in the now and do the best we can and let our lights shine."
The movie was very good called, "How do you know," with Reese Witherspoons, Owen Wilson, n Jack Nicholson on Netflix. However it was not worth one of my 9 lives. For those who get in a hurry, please slow down n breathe n take care of yourself n don't do something stupid as I done. Stupid, stupid, stupid.... Leason learned. I need a nap for I am wiped out. ; )
Take care everyone. We are all an accident waiting to happen. Hugs, Cattails
Cuz, Sorry for your loss.. I really feel for your sister too, what a tragedy. Prayers for you both. xoxo
Tim, we are here for you too.
Jen...okay okay we get it, lol Having to spend anymore time rewriting this experience is enough to put anyone over the edge anyway.
Lildeb, I'm sure glad everything turned out okay with your insulin mistake. Don't beat yourself up over it anymore, it was an honest mistake. I try to look at mistakes as reminders for us so we don't repeat them and even then there are times... Bottom line, you're just human and shit happens. xoxo
Betty, be safe and good luck on your trip!
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Hugs from Cricketღ
"Jen...okay okay we get it, lol Having to spend anymore time rewriting this experience is enough to put anyone over the edge anyway."
what did I do now?....
LovCuz
The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents.
They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip bars.
The rules say that from now on, if agents feel compelled to engagein such behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else.
Some very true words to ponder….I hope you enjoy.
As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50, 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.
I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
cuz- i am so sorry to hear about ur sister and am glad she is going to get better but deeply sad to hear about her husband , oh my heart aches . i am so terribley sorry , many hugs to u and ur families . xoxox
you all have a safe night . xoxo
say hi and have a great day....
Jen I was just kidding with you :)
Cuz, it is so very true! Thanks for sharing that. I'm glad to hear your sister is getting support...I pray for angels to go to her. You are way more than just a reader here to us.. you are a strong support beam! Thank you for all that you do.
Everyone have a great day!
Cricketღ
Bobbie, I have autoimmune disease and get tested for RA regularly. I do have major acid reflux, since I was a teenager and I also have Raynauds and urticaria. Both of these presented after a major infection in my appendix when I was 39. I first started getting wheals or hives on my skin when I went into cold water at the beach, or in the winter. I would even get hives on my hands in the freezer section of the grocery store. Cold causes severe joint pain and the skin lesions and also makes it difficult for me to breath. The Raynauds is simply my capillaries and small surface blood vessels to close off making my skin turn blue and causing some pain. I also get the hives from it too. If I get too cold, like fall into cold water, I can go into anaphylactic shock. I take 360 mgs of heart medication every day to keep this under control. It also causes me to have a resting pulse of 115 to 120 and without the meds, it races up to 170 + just climbing stairs. as Bobbie said, all it takes is some kind of trauma in your life, whether physical or mental, to bring on a major health issue.
Cricket, How was Snow White? Evil Deef here! Get dad a blowup doll and make him clean it after he has his way with her!!!
Angel, You sound so busy, but very happy!
Tim, Good luck to you and your friend!
Linda, I remember your "chigger" stories from last year! Yuck!!! I don't think we have those here in central Mass.
Meanwhile and Mame, I don't know how you can stand that heat!!! Yes, I'm allergic to the cold, but I'm still a winter girl! I have always hated the heat, even as a kid! Try to stay cool!
Betty, safe trip and enjoy your visit with Dad!
Lildeb, wow, close call for you. I know what you mean about f'ing up! I do dumb stuff all the time while trying to rush or do too many things at once! I hate it.
Cuz, Sorry to hear about your sis and her husband. Merry, Mom's aid grew up in Alaska. She is Aleut. Talks about how beautiful it is, but also the isolation when there is an emergency. Hope she can get home soon and find a way to deal with her loss.
Cattails, Mom is a great one for shitting on my shoes or bare feet. And peeing, well she does that on everything, including my hands! It's no fun, that's for sure!! I hate it most when she does it in the shower and on the shower stool. No pun intended!
Susan, Mom lost some weight with her latest cold and UTI. She is very difficult to feed, as she no longer gets it when you tell her to open her mouth to put food in. Plus she is always moving, so the nutrition gets burned up quickly.
Diane, I'm so proud of you! Getting everything straightened out with the lawyer, your doctor, etc. is an accomplishment YOU should be proud of too. Good to see your brother has calmed down for now. I'm with you on the lack of sleep! What I would give for just 1 morning of sleeping in! What a luxury!
I spent the last 2 days trying to find out why Mom's LTC reimbursement checks are so far behind. There is no money to pay Merry and no money for bills. They now owe Mom over $3000 that we could really use! They say that they never got the payroll sheets from the last 2 weeks in April. I sent them in their envelope just like I always do. I know they are floating around there in someone's office, but they will never admit that! So i have to send them another set and wait for them to be processed. In the meantime, my sister(POA) was supposed to get $$ from Mom's IRA to help with the bills. etc. That was 3 weeks ago and when I called her today, she hadn't done it yet!!!! So, I told her she would have to get $$ and put it into Mom's checking so I could pay Merry today. She was going to trans fer it from her savings into Mom's account. Savings??? What's that? This is the same sister that was complaining that her boyfriend just got a new job and they won't be able to go anywhere or do anything all summer because he will be working weekends too. Geez, I wonder what that feels like to not be able to go anywhere and have a savings account besides!!!!! get a clue people!!!!!
Jen, as always, love your way with words! Wish I lived closer! I would come and visit and put FP to shame. I don't mince words with the likes of him!!! Keep writing and get it out of your system.
Shit! It's much later than I thought! Got dishes to do and cats to feed, then bed to sleep for a change, I hope! night everyone!!!
An 8-year-old girl went to her
grandfather, who was working
in the yard and asked him,
"Grampa, what is couple sex?"
The grandfather was surprised
that she would ask such a question,
but decided that if she's old enough
to ask the question, then she's old
enough to get a straight answer.
Steeling himself to leave nothing out,
he proceeded to tell her all about
human reproduction and the joys
and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the
little girl was looking at him with
her mouth hanging open, eyes wide
in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face, the
grandfather asked her, "Why did
you ask this question, honey?"
The little girl replied, "Grandma
says that dinner will be ready in
just a couple secs."
Omaha, the rescue horse, came in from the pasture with a big piece of cactus stuck on his nose. Came right up to me, to show me he needed help. Most horses are like little kids, they don't want you to touch something sore, they know it will hurt. But, he stood there, waited, while I went back to the house for some heavy leather gloves, then let me pull all the spines out, without even a rope on him. He is a special horse.
Meanwhile: Sending you hugs and wishing you comfort. Omaha is a very special horse. He's wise and kind. He knows you can be trusted. Animals can give us such amazing complements. They are always right.
Diane: I think of you all the time and am so impressed by the ground you have covered over the past weeks. You talk more about your mom in a way that makes sense. By that I mean you speak of her and the problems she has in a way that explains the stress you endure taking care of her. Glad your brother has gotten a grip on his behavior and I hope it lasts for a while. Keep moving forward, Diane, toward a better life for you.
Jen: You have so much more to say. Keep writing about what's in your heart.
Bobbie: I use to have a recurrent dream. It was scary and left me feeling a bit freaked and displaced. One day I sat down and wrote a poem about it. I had never written a poem before, but found it didn't have to rhyme or any of that. Each line was about the "feeling" of the dream. Actually easier to write than prose. Just the feeling of the dream, line by line. I never had the dream again and I came to understand that I was dreaming about loss. All the things I couldn't go back to; all the familiar that was no longer a part of my life. You can't go back either. Try to write about the feeling; that stuff in the pit of your gut when you have the dreams. Don't judge it, just write it, a line at a time. Not a paragraph of explanation. Just lines of the feel. That's poetry, just the essence.
Cricket: Chrip, Chrip. Sending you bug hugs.
Betty: Have a good visit with your dad. Hope you get a few days this summer to just enjoy being Betty.
Mame: Thanks for the post and the invitation to come visit and see fireflies. I hope I can take you up on that sometime soon. Would love to meet you.
Tim: I'm keeping you and your "client" in my prayers.
Linda: Watch out for the chiggers. OMG, it makes my blood run cold to think for those invisible creatures and the havoc they cause.
Cuz: Sending love to you and your sis. What can I say except I'm so sorry.
I know I missed a few, but sending love to all of you. HEY, if you don't mind I'm going to send you a little nature note from time to time. It's what keeps me going.
Hugs to everyone, Cattails
Have a good weekend everyone...
I can't look at Mom when she eats either. The woman who patrolled the dinner table as the manners police when we were growing up is doing everything she corrected us for doing. I try not to look. Her mind doesn't tell her to move closer to her plate, to use a knife to cut something, to keep her hands out of fruit with dressing. And she has about a 75% success rate in actually getting a bite into her mouth instead of her lap.
And, of course, she insists on wearing her "Sunday Best" every day - clothes that are Dry Clean Only, if you can imagine. That falls into the category of "Battles Not Worth Fighting".
Love to all of you readers and caregivers.
xo
-SS
LOVCUZ