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Hi all, Just wanted to say Happy 4th wherever you are! Not sure if the weather here on the east coast is going to spoil our fireworks, so may have to make my own! Hee hee!!!
Jen- my Dad used to do the same thing before he went into the NH. He would go into the bathroom, run the water, wet a towel and say he bathed. Well, he clearly did not. He used sit in his depends so long, it seeped through his pants and he never even knew it. We started to put towels over all the chairs and the couch. I finally said "Dad, I will not take you to church or anywhere until you bathe." So then, he would. We had a chair in the shower and one of the hose things to make it easier for both of them. Then, a week would by and he'd pull the same crap, literally! So I feel for ya.
Bobbie - how r u, thinking about you...
Mame - loved the fun facts,. Thanks! I want to be that pig.
Bern - my Mom ate pain pills like they were candy. She would call every doctor she had to get a refill. I finally had to call all the docs offices and tell them to STOP refilling them. She was addicted to Darvacet for years before that. Only got off of them because they took the drug off the market. When she was "coming down" from them, she was soooo nasty and mean. When she was on them, all she did was complain and moan and say this hurts or that hurts.....part of the addiction. It wasn't until she was off of them for a while that she was actually kind of human and functioning again. She still self medicates with Tylenol PM but whatever at this point....Anyway, Bern, why is your Mom taking pain pills? Can you take her off of them? Just wondering, honey. Hang in there!!
Bern I can sooooo relate to the 3am torment. Mom had 50 nonsensical questions to ask and finally it boiled down to she wanted me to stay with her. I stayed for about an hour and she finally drifted off to sleep. I decided to pay a little more money to have an aide today and use it to catch up on some rest. Part of me feels guilty that I'm not cleaning house, but the mess will be there after I get some rest.
Igore, I hope you are recovering. I noticed you hadn't posted for awhile but I just figured it was your job schedule keeping you away.
I love the Evil Cat siggestion for Jen and fartpants......at least it gave me a chuckle. I wish I had your cool weather Cat. We are finally cooling down to the upper 90's instead of the 109 weather we had last week. My garden is wilting from the heat despite my (and b/f) constant watering.
I pray for all of us and our situations that we will find the right direction for us and our charges. Every person and situation is different and the path we each take is a new discovery. I have to remind myself everyday that I need to be kind to myself and that I'm doing the best that I can.
I hope our crew in the northeast are doing okay after the storms this week. I worry about those that may be without power and having such hot days.
Thanks catails and ss. listening to illegal fire works here in Spokane...sun going down pretty cool here send it over to the East Coast! Have a good rest of the week everyone...
Im in need of prayer please i havent been on in awhile...... Im going through ALOT My MIL has alzheimers and my husband just dont understand to the fact he has now got me thinking im crazy and my kids im just so close to being done ....IM so sad all i do is cry my 21 year old took my 9 year old home with her last night and my husband is saying its all me im bi polar im crazy etc.....help
TBailey, You are not crazy. You are not bi-polar. You are trying to do the job of three people and take care of a DEMENTED woman. Please go stay with your 21 year old and let your husband figure out how to deal with HIS mother. Sleep on the floor if you have to. It's worth it. When he comes to the conclusion that it is her and not you perhaps healing can start. In the meantime get out of the house and tell him to deal with his mother and tell him that he is not going to make you crazy because he can't accept the truth.
Here is a prayer: God helps those who help themselves.
Get out and go be with your 21 year old and your 9 year old.
And people wonder why I am so hard core about not dealing with Dementia and Alzheimers in the home and especially with children. Puleeze.
keep venting, pack a little bag, make a plan and when he gets home leave. Save yourself because you have put up with the stupidity for long enough. Watch how easily he will figure out that she needs to be placed or a professional caregiver has to move in.
keep checking back please because I hope you know that we all care deeply about you. lovbob
amen to what bobbie said . if anybody starts feeding shit in my head and make it sound like im a crazy one . well let them wear ur shoes for the rest of thier lives ! its rough when it isnt ur real mom . if it was my real mom then i would dealt with it . i dealt with my dad and it was worth it , thinkin that i would have to care for my mil sends chills up my back . nana not happening . i cant do it cuz she pushes my button from the time she wakes up . love you all and i feel your pain , sending angels around you all . xoxo
Tbailey-I agree with Bobbie too! It just may be the time for you to let him walk a mile in your shoes! Go be with your children! That should be most important now. Will be praying for you! Bern-sorry about your night issues. My mom wakes up many mornings like that. Sometimes I just don't even want to help her out of bed-I just want to tune it out. But at least it isn't in the middle of the night. I feel for ya! It is soooo hard when they don't even know what they want. Or what hurts. Just this morning mom woke up-calling out like she was dying-and told me her head ached. Then it was her back, and when I said maybe you slept funny she says-yea, it hurts right here-and pointed to her arm! After hearing it day in and day out it is hard to be sympathetic. I just roll my eyes... I will say a prayer for you too! Hope you get some rest. Bern and SS-mom was also addicted to Darvoset and I was so happy when they took it off the market-cause nothing else has been the same and she had to quit! My 19 year old, home for summer from college, informed me that he hates my mother. He says she should quit bugging me and get off her fat arse and take herself to the bathroom-or out of bed. He says-"she can do it"! Which I think physically she can right now but she could fall and mentally I think that is her fear. He says she can't walk cause she wouldn't for so long and is deconditioned-which is true-and because she smoked for 40 years. That she "did this to herself" and it shouldn't be my problem. Wow. He nailed it! But, I told him that it was my and his dad's choice to take her in and care for her. He thinks it is rediculous. It sure made me feel awful to know how he feels. He used to be so compassionate about her. Now-he won't even go into her rooms and say hello unless I ask him to. He hates it if he and I are interrupted in conversation by her-for "some stupid thing". He also informed me that he hates my family for not helping more. I don't know how to make this up to him. I am sad he feels this way. My first visit to Weight Watchers was fun. I am still under that magic number I really didn't want to get to-even if it is only a fraction of a pound away! I don't know what I was thinking-going before a holiday! I shoulda waited till next week! Oh well. Lots of reading to do and figuring... I really think I have to learn to eat some "power foods" I really don't like. But it does sound like they are good for you and stick with you... ugh. What have I done?!!!! My hubby also let his true feelings show-that it won't work for me. I have tried so many things. I WANT it to work. Maybe I can get up the energy-just to proove him wrong!!! But I really need to do this for my own health and well being-and so my son isn't saying those things about me someday! God help me! Daycare went really well for mom Tuesday. She was happy when I picked her up and she raved about the nice people who care for her and the food! I was shocked she remembered what was for lunch-but I checked and she did! They had a group of highschool band kids come in and play American music to celebrate the 4th. She didn't remember that... Oh well. I am sure it was lovely entertainment! Well, I have gone on long enough right?! HA! Keep cool everyone! Cat-keep an eye on those vultures! Damn them! Poor little quails. Thanks for the workout advice Cricket. Sounding good Diane! Hang in there Jen-FP can't last forever! Oh-that was terrible...evil Mame.... ;)
Tbailey, Please please listen to what Bobbie said. I only want to add one thing to what Bobbie said and that is once you do it don't be surprised if your Husband blames everything that needs to be done for his Mother on you! It sucks but it is very likely that he will do that, IGNORE IT! Don't buy into what is said, it is actually another way for him to avoid the truth of the situation. Be willing to let the accusations fly, let it go because you know it's not the truth. I hope this doesn't happen but be prepared just in case. We are here for you whatever you decide to do but please know that you are not crazy and any suggestions being made here are out of sincere love for you. What you're going through is extremely difficult and we get it.
Mame, you might want to check out the book "a course in weight loss" by Maryanne Williamson, this book has helped thousands of people (myself included) to deal with the underlying causes of weight gain. It's not a book about diet or exercise but about thought patterns and lifelong habits and emotions and how they influence us on a subconscious level to gain weight. In fact I think the book is on a special sale for only a dollar at Hay House Publishing. You can also check out the thread "wellness and nutrition" that was started earlier in this year. Let me know if I can help you even if its just to have someone to talk to about what you're going through with the whole diet topic via email. This is something that I to have had a struggle with and continue to work on. Email me if you want at cricketinafryingpan at comcast dot net. Maybe we can help each other.
Hi to everyone else..Jen, Cattails, SS, ssk, Meanwhile, Diane, Linda, lildeb, Angelhair, Bobbie, and Igore...please get better! Love you all. Sorry if I missed anyone. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
OMG - Just came back from the quarterly review meeting they have with my Dad and the staff at the NH. He is so whacked. He starts off by demanding, "What is the format of this Meeting?" Like he's running the show! Anyway, he's nasty and sarcastic and doesn't like being told he can't do something on him own, like walk and bath and dress. Which is true, he CAN"T do those things and that is while he is there!! But he denies it and tells them they're full of shit. He's totally paranoid and to me, not on the right meds or he wouldn't have these totally belligerent days, then the next day he's fine. It's so bipolar to me, and I've asked for a re-evaluation. He's confused, nasty, demanding and then he says to me in the room after we are done, "I'm sorry." Well that just put me over the edge. I said goodbye and I love you, Dad, then left the room and started the ball my eyes. He's so miserable and so rude to everyone, the nurses, the doctors and my mother. There's no answer here. No money and no answer. I feel horrible..... (boo hoo pity party over here). I just want to go to bed but it's 2pm in the afternoon....I love my Dad, but I don't like him.
SS, I'm so sorry. Go ahead and have a good cry and take a nap if you need to, it's okay. It is the same way with my Dad at times too and the best thing you can do for both your Dad and you is to take care of yourself, let the emotions flow so you won't hold them all in, do what you can, accept what you cannot do, and let it go. It's been my mantra lately to say and do this. Maybe it can help you too. xoxo Also, vent as much as you need to.. we are here. Cricketღ
Hi Tbailey: I am sorry things are so difficult at home. If I remember correctly, didn't you tell us sometime back that you are bi-polar. Is that correct? Nevertheless, that doesn't mean you are crazy!!!!
You have taken on an enormous job caring for your MIL, especially since she has AZ. My dad doesn't have dementia and I am worn out taking care of him. And I don't have young children to take care of like you do. Plus, it's summer and the kids are out of school and you probably don't have a minute to yourself.
Tracy, you need a break. I think it would be wonderful for you to get away and leave your MIL's care to your husband. Let him deal with her. In addition to that, it would be really great to put your MIL in respite care for a week and have your home back too. You need some down time and you deserve a flipping vacation from her. Everyone does.
Maybe it's time to reevaluate what is best for you and your children. You have done your best to bring MIL home from the nursing home she use to be in and care for her. Time to give an honest look at how this is working out for you. It's not a failure to say, "I tried, but I don't want to do this anymore." You don't have to say you "can't" do this anymore. Not wanting to is a good enough reason. Your life and happiness is the priority. It's not selfish of you to say "no more".
Tracy, if you are bi-polar, then that's another thing that you have to manage. It's part of taking care of yourself. It's not your fault that you are bi-polar, but it is your responsibility to be aware of it and know how you are feeling. To have all the additional stress of caring for your MIL just adds a mountain of weight on your shoulders and emotions. You are suffering under this mountain of weight and I don't want you to suffer and feel bad about yourself. Your husband should be feeling the same way I do and he should be supporting you, giving you comfort and understanding your needs. He should be putting you first.
I don't remember if you ever mentioned why the decision was made to take MIL out of the nursing home and into your home. Was there a financial reason? Did the family was to preserve her assets for inheritance reasons?
Whatever the reason, it's not worth losing years of your life and happiness over. I think you are a very loving and kind person. You are also a great mom and wife. Your children are growing up before your eyes and in two years they will be two years older. Don't miss this time with them. Now is what we have and you can't put time on hold.
I can't say enough good things about you, Tracy. You are a shinning star and I love you. You need some space and a chance to let things cool down a bit between you and your husband. Then it would be good to have a serious talk about his mom. If it's not working, it's not working. The answer is NOT for you to try harder.
Sending you lots of love and I will be praying for you. Please stay in touch.
It has been too long since I checked in on the GO thread. I have been in touch with cattails some but honestly I have not been home a lot in the past month or so. First off I started a new job awhile back. The pay is better, insurance not so much but I enjoy my work a lot more. I won’t go into all that except to say I have had many long days at this new job. I am glad it is summer because there is some daylight left when I get home but not much. As Cattails said, I was in the hospital with a stomach bleed. I dropped 5 pints o’blood in one day. End result I passed in the ER wheelchair. Next thing I know, I open my eyes and I got IVs and the doc is standing over me saying “Are you with us? Are you with us?” “I reckon I am because I ain’t floating below the ceiling looking at your bald spot.” Anyways, I am getting better but not 100% yet. Meanwhile, I am still trying to deal with stuff on the home front. I have two stepdaughters, one is an addict and one is a welfare queen. That sounds harsh but that is what it is. Some of you may remember my intro into AC and how I was dissing on my wife. That is where I was at during that time. But here is where I am now. My wife and I are way closer to being on the same page than before I first charged into AC like a bull in the china shop. She now understands that I consider her 1st lady in my life. She may not get why I have chosen to be the ‘fixer’. Hell, even I don’t get that one myself. I think my problem early on was I was looking for things to be reciprocal. After all I did my best to love and care for two daughters whose biodad was MIA. I was not asking her to lift a finger in my Mom’s care, I just wanted to do what I felt I had to do. Also early on, I think I was painting Mom as a dear patron saint who was totally helpless and innocent. That is just not so. My Mom is needy and manipulative when it comes to my time and attention. She wants it ALL. She would deny this but it is true. Mom wont do for herself what she CAN do. If I am home she calls my cell phone when she needs or wants ANYTHING. I feel like Lurch. “You Rang??” I am fortunate compared to those of you who are taking care of a parent that was a predator and abuser of you when they were young. Mom was not to that extreme. She did have one hell of a temper though. The irony is I can recall her screaming at her Mother for the most miniscule of infractions. The other day I changed the sheets on her bed. With her bladder and bowel control (or lack of) the aroma can take over if one is not vigilant. Well I was making up her bed and I am finding old depends, food, mail, snot tissues, and you name it one the bed, between covers and between the bed and the wall. I started cursing so bad that it would have peeled the paint of one of my old Navy ships from my days in the Navy. I was yelling at her because I had had enough. I lost it and then I had like this flashback (I have never dropped acid) of watching my Mom rake Grandma over the coals. I felt so bad. I just ceased talking and finished what I was doing. The thing is I see where Mom’s needs exceed my capacity to meet them. Like many of you, I have little help from the siblings. Not totally excusing my brothers but one just had a heart attack and the other is functionally illiterate (dyslexia) . My dyslexic brother has a big heart but he and his wife are not in the best of health and although there capacity is limited they do what they can. My bro with the heart problems has not been much help during these last five years and I don’t understand him exactly. I am the youngest of the kids and yet somehow I got appointed ‘patriarch’. I still have not figured that one out. Anyways, I want to say something about hypocrisy. I noticed that you have had someone tell you about “real Christians” during the past couple of weeks. This sort of thing makes me nauseous. For years, I went to church and sat in Sunday school and listed to folks with superior, smug, attitudes damn near broke their arms to pat their own back. To me to be a ‘real’ Christian you must recognize that you are a ‘real’ mess when compared to God. I have warts, I say ‘shit’ ‘damn’ and ‘expletive delete’ when I lose it. I am not proud of that but I would rather be real and not try to hide what a loser I am than to pretend to be the ‘master of my universe’ and play the fiddle while Rome burns. So to those of you that are doing the best you can taking care of your parent whether or not they deserve it. You hang in there and say what you feel. God already knows and it is ok. Our parents had us so it was their responsibility to wipe poo and so on. But not every reproducing human is worthy of being a parent. No one can tell you that you should take their crap (literally or figuratively) until their dying day. That is all I have for now. I am glad to have this thread because most of you are good ‘real’ folks making the best of worst situation that a person could find themselves in.
This is Igore. I screwed up and log in wrong. I had an old alias and I mixed them up. Anyways the above post is mine. I just had not used "mudrivercat" in some time. Forgive me for the screw up and just to show it is mine I will repost it now.
"Hello Everyone,
It has been too long since I checked in on the GO thread. I have been in touch with cattails some but honestly I have not been home a lot in the past month or so. First off I started a new job awhile back. The pay is better, insurance not so much but I enjoy my work a lot more. I won’t go into all that except to say I have had many long days at this new job. I am glad it is summer because there is some daylight left when I get home but not much.
As Cattails said, I was in the hospital with a stomach bleed. I dropped 5 pints o’blood in one day. End result I passed in the ER wheelchair. Next thing I know, I open my eyes and I got IVs and the doc is standing over me saying “Are you with us? Are you with us?” “I reckon I am because I ain’t floating below the ceiling looking at your bald spot.” Anyways, I am getting better but not 100% yet. Meanwhile, I am still trying to deal with stuff on the home front. I have two stepdaughters, one is an addict and one is a welfare queen. That sounds harsh but that is what it is. Some of you may remember my intro into AC and how I was dissing on my wife. That is where I was at during that time. But here is where I am now. My wife and I are way closer to being on the same page than before I first charged into AC like a bull in the china shop. She now understands that I consider her 1st lady in my life. She may not get why I have chosen to be the ‘fixer’. Hell, even I don’t get that one myself. I think my problem early on was I was looking for things to be reciprocal. After all I did my best to love and care for two daughters whose biodad was MIA. I was not asking her to lift a finger in my Mom’s care, I just wanted to do what I felt I had to do.
Also early on, I think I was painting Mom as a dear patron saint who was totally helpless and innocent. That is just not so. My Mom is needy and manipulative when it comes to my time and attention. She wants it ALL. She would deny this but it is true. Mom wont do for herself what she CAN do. If I am home she calls my cell phone when she needs or wants ANYTHING. I feel like Lurch. “You Rang??”
I am fortunate compared to those of you who are taking care of a parent that was a predator and abuser of you when they were young. Mom was not to that extreme. She did have one hell of a temper though. The irony is I can recall her screaming at her Mother for the most miniscule of infractions. The other day I changed the sheets on her bed. With her bladder and bowel control (or lack of) the aroma can take over if one is not vigilant. Well I was making up her bed and I am finding old depends, food, mail, snot tissues, and you name it one the bed, between covers and between the bed and the wall. I started cursing so bad that it would have peeled the paint of one of my old Navy ships from my days in the Navy. I was yelling at her because I had had enough. I lost it and then I had like this flashback (I have never dropped acid) of watching my Mom rake Grandma over the coals. I felt so bad. I just ceased talking and finished what I was doing. The thing is I see where Mom’s needs exceed my capacity to meet them. Like many of you, I have little help from the siblings. Not totally excusing my brothers but one just had a heart attack and the other is functionally illiterate (dyslexia) . My dyslexic brother has a big heart but he and his wife are not in the best of health and although there capacity is limited they do what they can. My bro with the heart problems has not been much help during these last five years and I don’t understand him exactly. I am the youngest of the kids and yet somehow I got appointed ‘patriarch’. I still have not figured that one out. Anyways, I want to say something about hypocrisy. I noticed that you have had someone tell you about “real Christians” during the past couple of weeks. This sort of thing makes me nauseous. For years, I went to church and sat in Sunday school and listed to folks with superior, smug, attitudes damn near broke their arms to pat their own back. To me to be a ‘real’ Christian you must recognize that you are a ‘real’ mess when compared to God. I have warts, I say ‘shit’ ‘damn’ and ‘expletive delete’ when I lose it. I am not proud of that but I would rather be real and not try to hide what a loser I am than to pretend to be the ‘master of my universe’ and play the fiddle while Rome burns. So to those of you that are doing the best you can taking care of your parent whether or not they deserve it. You hang in there and say what you feel. God already knows and it is ok.
Our parents had us so it was their responsibility to wipe poo and so on. But not every reproducing human is worthy of being a parent. No one can tell you that you should take their crap (literally or figuratively) until their dying day.
That is all I have for now. I am glad to have this thread because most of you are good ‘real’ folks making the best of worst situation that a person could find themselves in.
Yeah, Igore. I'm thinking who is the mudrivercat who say's he was in touch with me. Then I read more and knew it was IGORE, my little buddy. You are getting so wise. Yes, you don't want to berate your mom, like she did your Grandmother. It's also wise of you to realize that your mom's care is exceeding your abilities. I don't know how much older your brothers are, but there seem to be health issues that run in your family. You have just come through a major situation yourself. Maybe it's time to focus on your own health. Maybe your mom can qualify for Medicaid and go to an assisted living place. She may do more for herself if she is inspired to do so. If she can, you are not doing her any favors by keeping her in a dependent situation. If she can't, then Medicaid will play for her to be in a nursing home. Something to think about, Lurch. You have young children that need their dad in their lives for years to come. Sorry to hear about the daughter's continuing problems, but you need to save yourself before anyone else.
Hi Igore, Welcome back! I loved your long newsy posts and thanks for the encouragement as well. Today has been a long difficult day for me with lots of chaos and it's so refreshing to see words from you. I think we are somewhere along the same plane in the universe because I'm trying to maintain my kingdom :) At least I haven't started yelling.."You are all banned from my kingdom" YET! Have a good night. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
My God it is so good to be intouch with you Cattails and Cricket.
My brothers are 5 and 6 years older than me and it seems I have the best health to date. Stomach bleeds aside, I had not been hospitalized since the age of five. But as dirty harry once said "A man's got to know his limitations". I about found mine on the roof last weekend. We made it home from vacation. It was a good time. And cat, you are right when you say to take care of self before saving the world. My sons are bright and do well in school.
As you all know, Andy Griffith died this week. It occured to me that he was just about the same age as my Dad would have been. I am 11 years away from the age Dad was when he died. I would like to be there a bit longer for my sons than my Dad was able to for me. We can't control all that but we can make choices that improve our chances.
Cricket: What's going on in your world? I think you need a good venting. It's a positive thing to share your heart. If Mame get's in touch with you regarding weight loss, can I be cc'd on your comments? I need help too. Have you ever read the book "Women, Food and God"? I have it and need to get reading.
Our geese are growing up. Soon they will take flight. I will be sending a piece of my heart with all of them.
Hi again everyone, I just took two Advil PM's and kicked everyone out of my back room and barricaded myself in. LOL Cat let me see ...what can I vent about today... I think it all actually started yesterday...hmm well to be more accurate it all started about 5 years ago. I have a sleep disorder called every once in awhile I just can't get to sleep, I don't drink coffee anymore so it's not that. I've been like this since I was a kid and about 15 yrs ago was diagnosed with ADHD (so that explains why I would lay in bed and stare at the ceiling well into the morning hours). Anyway it hit me bad yesterday and I didn't fall asleep until after 5 AM this morning. I was exhausted today.. Then of course the dogs decided they wanted to try to drown my old little dog in the backyard fountain that has been neglected and turned into swamp water..oh great! I had to drag them all out of the swamp, give them all baths, then put my little Blackie in the crate so the other dogs wouldn't bother him while I cleaned myself up (I was covered in swamp from head to toe), then afterwards I came into let Blackie out of his crate and he had diarrhea and it was all over him and in the crate bedding, etc... wash, rinse, repeat, and laundry... oh then I caught Dad trying to pour out his full urinal down the kitchen sink! So I had to disinfect the entire kitchen because who knows what was going on in there while I was in the shower. Then had to listen to Dad telling me how sick and tired he was and that he wasn't able to do anything for himself or he would die, blah blah but then go and get ready for his new nurse who is coming to help him shower, lol It's all pretty much the usual, I'm just having a bad day because of a lack of sleep. I pretty much have people living in my house 24/7 and it's a challenge keeping up with everything and everyone, dogs, and then theirs Dad.. My husband has a home office and works here, then theirs my 27 yr. old stepson who is unemployed and sleeping on the couch for the time being... You know all the usual slices of the same shit pie we all get now and then, lol On the bright side.. I did get the floors cleaned today, the dogs all got bathed, half of the laundry got done and I made a nice dinner for everyone. So it all ended well and hopefully these Advil will not backfire on me and keep me awake all night... or Dad doesn't need me. Long story short.. I love sleep, it's my best friend and if I don't get it I turn into a super charged turbo speed crazy person.. I would settle for even a couple of hours to stop the mania. Thanks for asking, I think. . :) xoxox
I'll say a prayer, that we all get a good nights sleep. Been having nightmares myself. But, really not much drama going here. Went to the 4th of July parade. Small town parades are really quite fun. The floats aren't fancy, mostly pickup trucks pulling trailers decorated with crepe paper. The volunteer fire department brings all their trucks out. And, almost all of them throw candy to the crowd. I gave what I picked up to the kids standing next to me (well most of it). There was even a burro wearing a pink tutu. Everyone try and take care of yourself. Don't know what I would do without you guys.
UNDIES ~ HAD TO SEND THIS ~ IF YOU DON'T LAUGH ~ CALL 911 ~ YOU'RE DEAD
Leave it to a little kid to put a smile on your face!!!! This is truly first grade logic,
Undies Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mom that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at doing them.. Mom said : "YOU should say NO - they only want to look at your undies".. Susie said: " I know they do ... that's why I hide them in my backpack"!!
Mud/igore I hear that! t baily you are not crazy the whole scenario is!!! Cricket urinals in the sink yup been there shouted that down....Agree take some pain killer s and go to sleep get up and make the rules it's your house event though it doesn't feel like it... Now submitting my play for consideration in Play writing contests.... this is gonna get scary but I am doing it!!!!!
Jen, Good for you. I'm wishing you the best of luck. Don't give up.
Cricket: I have also had difficulty falling asleep since I was a child. Don't know why my mind can't click off. My hubby can fall asleep so easily. I always envy him.
Update: My dad's Medicaid application has been approved from a financial standpoint. A social worker came to our home last Monday and did an assessment on him. He definitely qualifies for 24/7 care. Duh!! So the assessment report needs to go to the case worker that handles the financial and then we can proceed to placement. It could possibly happen next week.
I haven't shared much about this because it's so personal to me and I know everyone has their opinions. I've not said anything about this to my dad. I can't see any benefit to giving him a heads up. To be honest, I will take the chicken shit way out and tell him that he is going to respite care for a while. In time I will tell him that I am not able to take care of him full time because we are dealing with our own health issues, which is true.
If you all can, would you say a prayer for me, my husband and my dad. This is so difficult, but it is necessary.
Yay! I got two hours of sleep then got woke up. It's 3:30 or dark thirty and Dad is up with his TV Blaring.
Cuz. loved it! I hope you are well. xoxo
Jen, good luck in the contest! Good for you for doing that. :)
Meanwhile, I love small town parades. I miss the country, bad. I hope your nightmares go away. I've suffered bad nightmares my whole life, it really sucks.
Cattails, you definitely have my prayers! That is a really hard decision and you have my support for sure. Also, I would be happy to cc any information to you but I need your email addy. I haven't read the book you mentioned but I think the Author of that book will be at a convention my daughter Jessica and I will be attending out in CA the end of October. We signed up to go to Louise Hay's "I can do it" convention for a weekend while I'm taking a two week respite, it's all about boosting self care and I need that. Plus my oldest daughter and I will get to do it together since it's taking place near her. I can't wait!
Well I'm going to try to go back to sleep again. Thanks everyone for the love and support as always. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Cattails, you are right not to give your Dad a heads up about what is going to happen. It would only increase stress on him and you. I don't know about you but when I can't imagine my kids doing for me what I am doing for my Mom.
Cricket, I got my Mom wireless headphones just for that tv blaring thing. Hope you slept well.
Although my daughter is a CNA, I could just see her and the WESIL pushing me in the wheelchair. The WESIL pushing my chair and sayin "Time for your bath!" I will keep a cyanide captule handy and bite down on it.
Cat, I'm glad you got your dad approved for Medicaid. I hope you will have an easier time finding and available Medicaid bed than I am here in SC. I found out to avoid the 2 and 3 year waitlist for a Medicaid bed you nerd to be in the nursing home prior as private pay and then you get moved up to the top of the Medicaid list. I wrote a long email to my sibs tonight to saying what we need to do to get mom in to a NH by the end of the month. Lets see if the tightwads will do anything. My brother just can't help anymore physically or mentally. He keeps throwing out his back trying to get mom on her feet. I can relate since I know how much my back hurt the first two or three years of being a caregiver.
Jen, I wish you success with the play. I cant wait to say "I knew her before she was famous"
Cricket, I think it's the full moon throwing us into a tail spin this week. I hope you get a good night's rest.
Igore, take care of yourself! I'm having to remind myself of this too.
I was going to write notes to each one of you but my darn brain went blank. I guess I will just give a big shout out to everyone and hope you all have a good night!
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Just wanted to say Happy 4th wherever you are! Not sure if the weather here on the east coast is going to spoil our fireworks, so may have to make my own! Hee hee!!!
Jen- my Dad used to do the same thing before he went into the NH. He would go into the bathroom, run the water, wet a towel and say he bathed. Well, he clearly did not. He used sit in his depends so long, it seeped through his pants and he never even knew it. We started to put towels over all the chairs and the couch. I finally said "Dad, I will not take you to church or anywhere until you bathe." So then, he would. We had a chair in the shower and one of the hose things to make it easier for both of them. Then, a week would by and he'd pull the same crap, literally! So I feel for ya.
Bobbie - how r u, thinking about you...
Mame - loved the fun facts,. Thanks! I want to be that pig.
Bern - my Mom ate pain pills like they were candy. She would call every doctor she had to get a refill. I finally had to call all the docs offices and tell them to STOP refilling them. She was addicted to Darvacet for years before that. Only got off of them because they took the drug off the market. When she was "coming down" from them, she was soooo nasty and mean. When she was on them, all she did was complain and moan and say this hurts or that hurts.....part of the addiction. It wasn't until she was off of them for a while that she was actually kind of human and functioning again. She still self medicates with Tylenol PM but whatever at this point....Anyway, Bern, why is your Mom taking pain pills? Can you take her off of them? Just wondering, honey. Hang in there!!
xo and happy 4th everyone!
-SS
Igore, I hope you are recovering. I noticed you hadn't posted for awhile but I just figured it was your job schedule keeping you away.
I love the Evil Cat siggestion for Jen and fartpants......at least it gave me a chuckle. I wish I had your cool weather Cat. We are finally cooling down to the upper 90's instead of the 109 weather we had last week. My garden is wilting from the heat despite my (and b/f) constant watering.
I pray for all of us and our situations that we will find the right direction for us and our charges. Every person and situation is different and the path we each take is a new discovery. I have to remind myself everyday that I need to be kind to myself and that I'm doing the best that I can.
I hope our crew in the northeast are doing okay after the storms this week. I worry about those that may be without power and having such hot days.
Have a safe and happt Fourth of July!
Love ya,
Diane
Have a good rest of the week everyone...
You are not crazy. You are not bi-polar. You are trying to do the job of three people and take care of a DEMENTED woman. Please go stay with your 21 year old and let your husband figure out how to deal with HIS mother. Sleep on the floor if you have to. It's worth it.
When he comes to the conclusion that it is her and not you perhaps healing can start.
In the meantime get out of the house and tell him to deal with his mother and tell him that he is not going to make you crazy because he can't accept the truth.
Here is a prayer: God helps those who help themselves.
Get out and go be with your 21 year old and your 9 year old.
And people wonder why I am so hard core about not dealing with Dementia and Alzheimers in the home and especially with children. Puleeze.
keep venting, pack a little bag, make a plan and when he gets home leave. Save yourself because you have put up with the stupidity for long enough. Watch how easily he will figure out that she needs to be placed or a professional caregiver has to move in.
keep checking back please because I hope you know that we all care deeply about you.
lovbob
if anybody starts feeding shit in my head and make it sound like im a crazy one . well let them wear ur shoes for the rest of thier lives !
its rough when it isnt ur real mom . if it was my real mom then i would dealt with it . i dealt with my dad and it was worth it , thinkin that i would have to care for my mil sends chills up my back . nana not happening . i cant do it cuz she pushes my button from the time she wakes up .
love you all and i feel your pain , sending angels around you all .
xoxo
Bern-sorry about your night issues. My mom wakes up many mornings like that. Sometimes I just don't even want to help her out of bed-I just want to tune it out. But at least it isn't in the middle of the night. I feel for ya! It is soooo hard when they don't even know what they want. Or what hurts. Just this morning mom woke up-calling out like she was dying-and told me her head ached. Then it was her back, and when I said maybe you slept funny she says-yea, it hurts right here-and pointed to her arm! After hearing it day in and day out it is hard to be sympathetic. I just roll my eyes... I will say a prayer for you too! Hope you get some rest. Bern and SS-mom was also addicted to Darvoset and I was so happy when they took it off the market-cause nothing else has been the same and she had to quit!
My 19 year old, home for summer from college, informed me that he hates my mother. He says she should quit bugging me and get off her fat arse and take herself to the bathroom-or out of bed. He says-"she can do it"! Which I think physically she can right now but she could fall and mentally I think that is her fear. He says she can't walk cause she wouldn't for so long and is deconditioned-which is true-and because she smoked for 40 years. That she "did this to herself" and it shouldn't be my problem. Wow. He nailed it! But, I told him that it was my and his dad's choice to take her in and care for her. He thinks it is rediculous. It sure made me feel awful to know how he feels. He used to be so compassionate about her. Now-he won't even go into her rooms and say hello unless I ask him to. He hates it if he and I are interrupted in conversation by her-for "some stupid thing". He also informed me that he hates my family for not helping more. I don't know how to make this up to him. I am sad he feels this way.
My first visit to Weight Watchers was fun. I am still under that magic number I really didn't want to get to-even if it is only a fraction of a pound away! I don't know what I was thinking-going before a holiday! I shoulda waited till next week! Oh well. Lots of reading to do and figuring... I really think I have to learn to eat some "power foods" I really don't like. But it does sound like they are good for you and stick with you... ugh. What have I done?!!!! My hubby also let his true feelings show-that it won't work for me. I have tried so many things. I WANT it to work. Maybe I can get up the energy-just to proove him wrong!!! But I really need to do this for my own health and well being-and so my son isn't saying those things about me someday! God help me!
Daycare went really well for mom Tuesday. She was happy when I picked her up and she raved about the nice people who care for her and the food! I was shocked she remembered what was for lunch-but I checked and she did! They had a group of highschool band kids come in and play American music to celebrate the 4th. She didn't remember that... Oh well. I am sure it was lovely entertainment!
Well, I have gone on long enough right?! HA! Keep cool everyone! Cat-keep an eye on those vultures! Damn them! Poor little quails. Thanks for the workout advice Cricket. Sounding good Diane! Hang in there Jen-FP can't last forever! Oh-that was terrible...evil Mame.... ;)
Mame, you might want to check out the book "a course in weight loss" by Maryanne Williamson, this book has helped thousands of people (myself included) to deal with the underlying causes of weight gain. It's not a book about diet or exercise but about thought patterns and lifelong habits and emotions and how they influence us on a subconscious level to gain weight. In fact I think the book is on a special sale for only a dollar at Hay House Publishing. You can also check out the thread "wellness and nutrition" that was started earlier in this year. Let me know if I can help you even if its just to have someone to talk to about what you're going through with the whole diet topic via email. This is something that I to have had a struggle with and continue to work on. Email me if you want at cricketinafryingpan at comcast dot net. Maybe we can help each other.
Hi to everyone else..Jen, Cattails, SS, ssk, Meanwhile, Diane, Linda, lildeb, Angelhair, Bobbie, and Igore...please get better! Love you all. Sorry if I missed anyone.
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Also, vent as much as you need to.. we are here.
Cricketღ
You have taken on an enormous job caring for your MIL, especially since she has AZ. My dad doesn't have dementia and I am worn out taking care of him. And I don't have young children to take care of like you do. Plus, it's summer and the kids are out of school and you probably don't have a minute to yourself.
Tracy, you need a break. I think it would be wonderful for you to get away and leave your MIL's care to your husband. Let him deal with her. In addition to that, it would be really great to put your MIL in respite care for a week and have your home back too. You need some down time and you deserve a flipping vacation from her. Everyone does.
Maybe it's time to reevaluate what is best for you and your children. You have done your best to bring MIL home from the nursing home she use to be in and care for her. Time to give an honest look at how this is working out for you. It's not a failure to say, "I tried, but I don't want to do this anymore." You don't have to say you "can't" do this anymore. Not wanting to is a good enough reason. Your life and happiness is the priority. It's not selfish of you to say "no more".
Tracy, if you are bi-polar, then that's another thing that you have to manage. It's part of taking care of yourself. It's not your fault that you are bi-polar, but it is your responsibility to be aware of it and know how you are feeling. To have all the additional stress of caring for your MIL just adds a mountain of weight on your shoulders and emotions. You are suffering under this mountain of weight and I don't want you to suffer and feel bad about yourself. Your husband should be feeling the same way I do and he should be supporting you, giving you comfort and understanding your needs. He should be putting you first.
I don't remember if you ever mentioned why the decision was made to take MIL out of the nursing home and into your home. Was there a financial reason? Did the family was to preserve her assets for inheritance reasons?
Whatever the reason, it's not worth losing years of your life and happiness over. I think you are a very loving and kind person. You are also a great mom and wife. Your children are growing up before your eyes and in two years they will be two years older. Don't miss this time with them. Now is what we have and you can't put time on hold.
I can't say enough good things about you, Tracy. You are a shinning star and I love you. You need some space and a chance to let things cool down a bit between you and your husband. Then it would be good to have a serious talk about his mom. If it's not working, it's not working. The answer is NOT for you to try harder.
Sending you lots of love and I will be praying for you. Please stay in touch.
Cattails
It has been too long since I checked in on the GO thread. I have been in touch with cattails some but honestly I have not been home a lot in the past month or so. First off I started a new job awhile back. The pay is better, insurance not so much but I enjoy my work a lot more. I won’t go into all that except to say I have had many long days at this new job. I am glad it is summer because there is some daylight left when I get home but not much.
As Cattails said, I was in the hospital with a stomach bleed. I dropped 5 pints o’blood in one day. End result I passed in the ER wheelchair. Next thing I know, I open my eyes and I got IVs and the doc is standing over me saying “Are you with us? Are you with us?” “I reckon I am because I ain’t floating below the ceiling looking at your bald spot.”
Anyways, I am getting better but not 100% yet. Meanwhile, I am still trying to deal with stuff on the home front. I have two stepdaughters, one is an addict and one is a welfare queen. That sounds harsh but that is what it is. Some of you may remember my intro into AC and how I was dissing on my wife. That is where I was at during that time. But here is where I am now. My wife and I are way closer to being on the same page than before I first charged into AC like a bull in the china shop. She now understands that I consider her 1st lady in my life. She may not get why I have chosen to be the ‘fixer’. Hell, even I don’t get that one myself. I think my problem early on was I was looking for things to be reciprocal. After all I did my best to love and care for two daughters whose biodad was MIA. I was not asking her to lift a finger in my Mom’s care, I just wanted to do what I felt I had to do.
Also early on, I think I was painting Mom as a dear patron saint who was totally helpless and innocent. That is just not so. My Mom is needy and manipulative when it comes to my time and attention. She wants it ALL. She would deny this but it is true. Mom wont do for herself what she CAN do. If I am home she calls my cell phone when she needs or wants ANYTHING. I feel like Lurch. “You Rang??”
I am fortunate compared to those of you who are taking care of a parent that was a predator and abuser of you when they were young. Mom was not to that extreme. She did have one hell of a temper though. The irony is I can recall her screaming at her Mother for the most miniscule of infractions. The other day I changed the sheets on her bed. With her bladder and bowel control (or lack of) the aroma can take over if one is not vigilant. Well I was making up her bed and I am finding old depends, food, mail, snot tissues, and you name it one the bed, between covers and between the bed and the wall. I started cursing so bad that it would have peeled the paint of one of my old Navy ships from my days in the Navy. I was yelling at her because I had had enough. I lost it and then I had like this flashback (I have never dropped acid) of watching my Mom rake Grandma over the coals. I felt so bad. I just ceased talking and finished what I was doing.
The thing is I see where Mom’s needs exceed my capacity to meet them. Like many of you, I have little help from the siblings. Not totally excusing my brothers but one just had a heart attack and the other is functionally illiterate (dyslexia) . My dyslexic brother has a big heart but he and his wife are not in the best of health and although there capacity is limited they do what they can. My bro with the heart problems has not been much help during these last five years and I don’t understand him exactly. I am the youngest of the kids and yet somehow I got appointed ‘patriarch’. I still have not figured that one out.
Anyways, I want to say something about hypocrisy. I noticed that you have had someone tell you about “real Christians” during the past couple of weeks. This sort of thing makes me nauseous. For years, I went to church and sat in Sunday school and listed to folks with superior, smug, attitudes damn near broke their arms to pat their own back. To me to be a ‘real’ Christian you must recognize that you are a ‘real’ mess when compared to God. I have warts, I say ‘shit’ ‘damn’ and ‘expletive delete’ when I lose it. I am not proud of that but I would rather be real and not try to hide what a loser I am than to pretend to be the ‘master of my universe’ and play the fiddle while Rome burns. So to those of you that are doing the best you can taking care of your parent whether or not they deserve it. You hang in there and say what you feel. God already knows and it is ok.
Our parents had us so it was their responsibility to wipe poo and so on. But not every reproducing human is worthy of being a parent. No one can tell you that you should take their crap (literally or figuratively) until their dying day.
That is all I have for now. I am glad to have this thread because most of you are good ‘real’ folks making the best of worst situation that a person could find themselves in.
May peace reign in your castle,
Igore
This is Igore. I screwed up and log in wrong. I had an old alias and I mixed them up. Anyways the above post is mine. I just had not used "mudrivercat" in some time. Forgive me for the screw up and just to show it is mine I will repost it now.
"Hello Everyone,
It has been too long since I checked in on the GO thread. I have been in touch with cattails some but honestly I have not been home a lot in the past month or so. First off I started a new job awhile back. The pay is better, insurance not so much but I enjoy my work a lot more. I won’t go into all that except to say I have had many long days at this new job. I am glad it is summer because there is some daylight left when I get home but not much.
As Cattails said, I was in the hospital with a stomach bleed. I dropped 5 pints o’blood in one day. End result I passed in the ER wheelchair. Next thing I know, I open my eyes and I got IVs and the doc is standing over me saying “Are you with us? Are you with us?” “I reckon I am because I ain’t floating below the ceiling looking at your bald spot.”
Anyways, I am getting better but not 100% yet. Meanwhile, I am still trying to deal with stuff on the home front. I have two stepdaughters, one is an addict and one is a welfare queen. That sounds harsh but that is what it is. Some of you may remember my intro into AC and how I was dissing on my wife. That is where I was at during that time. But here is where I am now. My wife and I are way closer to being on the same page than before I first charged into AC like a bull in the china shop. She now understands that I consider her 1st lady in my life. She may not get why I have chosen to be the ‘fixer’. Hell, even I don’t get that one myself. I think my problem early on was I was looking for things to be reciprocal. After all I did my best to love and care for two daughters whose biodad was MIA. I was not asking her to lift a finger in my Mom’s care, I just wanted to do what I felt I had to do.
Also early on, I think I was painting Mom as a dear patron saint who was totally helpless and innocent. That is just not so. My Mom is needy and manipulative when it comes to my time and attention. She wants it ALL. She would deny this but it is true. Mom wont do for herself what she CAN do. If I am home she calls my cell phone when she needs or wants ANYTHING. I feel like Lurch. “You Rang??”
I am fortunate compared to those of you who are taking care of a parent that was a predator and abuser of you when they were young. Mom was not to that extreme. She did have one hell of a temper though. The irony is I can recall her screaming at her Mother for the most miniscule of infractions. The other day I changed the sheets on her bed. With her bladder and bowel control (or lack of) the aroma can take over if one is not vigilant. Well I was making up her bed and I am finding old depends, food, mail, snot tissues, and you name it one the bed, between covers and between the bed and the wall. I started cursing so bad that it would have peeled the paint of one of my old Navy ships from my days in the Navy. I was yelling at her because I had had enough. I lost it and then I had like this flashback (I have never dropped acid) of watching my Mom rake Grandma over the coals. I felt so bad. I just ceased talking and finished what I was doing.
The thing is I see where Mom’s needs exceed my capacity to meet them. Like many of you, I have little help from the siblings. Not totally excusing my brothers but one just had a heart attack and the other is functionally illiterate (dyslexia) . My dyslexic brother has a big heart but he and his wife are not in the best of health and although there capacity is limited they do what they can. My bro with the heart problems has not been much help during these last five years and I don’t understand him exactly. I am the youngest of the kids and yet somehow I got appointed ‘patriarch’. I still have not figured that one out.
Anyways, I want to say something about hypocrisy. I noticed that you have had someone tell you about “real Christians” during the past couple of weeks. This sort of thing makes me nauseous. For years, I went to church and sat in Sunday school and listed to folks with superior, smug, attitudes damn near broke their arms to pat their own back. To me to be a ‘real’ Christian you must recognize that you are a ‘real’ mess when compared to God. I have warts, I say ‘shit’ ‘damn’ and ‘expletive delete’ when I lose it. I am not proud of that but I would rather be real and not try to hide what a loser I am than to pretend to be the ‘master of my universe’ and play the fiddle while Rome burns. So to those of you that are doing the best you can taking care of your parent whether or not they deserve it. You hang in there and say what you feel. God already knows and it is ok.
Our parents had us so it was their responsibility to wipe poo and so on. But not every reproducing human is worthy of being a parent. No one can tell you that you should take their crap (literally or figuratively) until their dying day.
That is all I have for now. I am glad to have this thread because most of you are good ‘real’ folks making the best of worst situation that a person could find themselves in.
May peace reign in your castle,
Igore"
Sending you love and hugs, Cattails
At least I haven't started yelling.."You are all banned from my kingdom" YET! Have a good night.
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
My brothers are 5 and 6 years older than me and it seems I have the best health to date. Stomach bleeds aside, I had not been hospitalized since the age of five. But as dirty harry once said "A man's got to know his limitations". I about found mine on the roof last weekend. We made it home from vacation. It was a good time. And cat, you are right when you say to take care of self before saving the world. My sons are bright and do well in school.
As you all know, Andy Griffith died this week. It occured to me that he was just about the same age as my Dad would have been. I am 11 years away from the age Dad was when he died. I would like to be there a bit longer for my sons than my Dad was able to for me. We can't control all that but we can make choices that improve our chances.
"Women, Food and God"? I have it and need to get reading.
Our geese are growing up. Soon they will take flight. I will be sending a piece of my heart with all of them.
Hugs to all, Cattails
Everyone try and take care of yourself. Don't know what I would do without you guys.
Leave it to a little kid to put a smile on your face!!!!
This is truly first grade logic,
Undies Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mom that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at doing them..
Mom said : "YOU should say NO - they only want to look at your undies"..
Susie said: " I know they do ... that's why I hide them in my backpack"!!
Now submitting my play for consideration in Play writing contests.... this is gonna get scary but I am doing it!!!!!
Sane weekend all.....
Cricket: I have also had difficulty falling asleep since I was a child. Don't know why my mind can't click off. My hubby can fall asleep so easily. I always envy him.
Update: My dad's Medicaid application has been approved from a financial standpoint. A social worker came to our home last Monday and did an assessment on him. He definitely qualifies for 24/7 care. Duh!! So the assessment report needs to go to the case worker that handles the financial and then we can proceed to placement. It could possibly happen next week.
I haven't shared much about this because it's so personal to me and I know everyone has their opinions. I've not said anything about this to my dad. I can't see any benefit to giving him a heads up. To be honest, I will take the chicken shit way out and tell him that he is going to respite care for a while. In time I will tell him that I am not able to take care of him full time because we are dealing with our own health issues, which is true.
If you all can, would you say a prayer for me, my husband and my dad. This is so difficult, but it is necessary.
Thank you for listening, Cattails
Cuz. loved it! I hope you are well. xoxo
Jen, good luck in the contest! Good for you for doing that. :)
Meanwhile, I love small town parades. I miss the country, bad. I hope your nightmares go away. I've suffered bad nightmares my whole life, it really sucks.
Cattails, you definitely have my prayers! That is a really hard decision and you have my support for sure. Also, I would be happy to cc any information to you but I need your email addy. I haven't read the book you mentioned but I think the Author of that book will be at a convention my daughter Jessica and I will be attending out in CA the end of October. We signed up to go to Louise Hay's "I can do it" convention for a weekend while I'm taking a two week respite, it's all about boosting self care and I need that. Plus my oldest daughter and I will get to do it together since it's taking place near her. I can't wait!
Well I'm going to try to go back to sleep again. Thanks everyone for the love and support as always.
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Cricket, I got my Mom wireless headphones just for that tv blaring thing. Hope you slept well.
Although my daughter is a CNA, I could just see her and the WESIL pushing me in the wheelchair. The WESIL pushing my chair and sayin "Time for your bath!" I will keep a cyanide captule handy and bite down on it.
FYI ; WESIL= Wifes Ex Son In Law.
Love you guys.
Cat, I'm glad you got your dad approved for Medicaid. I hope you will have an easier time finding and available Medicaid bed than I am here in SC. I found out to avoid the 2 and 3 year waitlist for a Medicaid bed you nerd to be in the nursing home prior as private pay and then you get moved up to the top of the Medicaid list. I wrote a long email to my sibs tonight to saying what we need to do to get mom in to a NH by the end of the month. Lets see if the tightwads will do anything. My brother just can't help anymore physically or mentally. He keeps throwing out his back trying to get mom on her feet. I can relate since I know how much my back hurt the first two or three years of being a caregiver.
Jen, I wish you success with the play. I cant wait to say "I knew her before she was famous"
Cricket, I think it's the full moon throwing us into a tail spin this week. I hope you get a good night's rest.
Igore, take care of yourself! I'm having to remind myself of this too.
I was going to write notes to each one of you but my darn brain went blank. I guess I will just give a big shout out to everyone and hope you all have a good night!
Love ya,
Diane