Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Tennessee, my heart goes out to you. Courts and lawyers don't believe in justice or fairness. People's lives are nothing but a game to be played to the advantage of the highest bidder. Sick!
Mom's guardian called me today saying she was going to file a petition so mom could be included in dad's care conferences. I told her no one said she couldn't. What's with all these sue-happy people? I'm so sick of my mother's evil! Her guardian told me she understands why my dad paid the bills (when he could). Mom's a total numb brain! I asked if she though mom understood the finances. She said she did, ~at the moment, but not 1/2 hour later. I said, "Then she doesn't understand, does she?" What's the matter with these idiots? It's all about power and control. And this guardian lied and cheated when she was DON of a NH. Sure gives me great confidence having her as mom's guardian, and controlling my family's estate (like I was till mom's "friends" tried to convince her she should have more money...) So, basically, outsiders are controlling my mom, and $$profiting from it. Mom's too stupid to realize it, and I'm just Chicken Little.
Pirate & Rossella, I visited Carmel at least once when I lived in So. Cal. What a beautiful town it is. I went to the restaurant that Clint Eastwood owned. :)
Miz, Pirate, I feel like to go to CA so much. Nancy, my friend, has invited me for years but I never manage to do it. She sends me beautiful photos of the beach and those little villages. 4 cousins of mine are in US now and they will end up in California, so I hope that they can see that area. Bobbie, thank you for your words. I am very happy if my posts can be useful, even if sometimes they are not very optimistic. I have one great luck, (or misfortune, according to someone). I must not search my inner child. It's always there. It is my inner adult that is more difficult to find! (this can be embarassing, as I am 53) The child is more capable of handling difficult situations. You all know that children can play among rubbles, during a war! I remember that Peter Pan could fly if he had a happy thought. This is the secret, more or less... Kiss to everyone
Rossella ~ Have you been to the US? I visited Carmel & Monterey which were my favorite areas of California. Napa Valley wass disappointing to me (my brother lives nearby) in camparison to the beautiful wine regions in Washington State.
I am feeling accomplished today. A window washer is coming Friday, the one luxury I hire out once a year, so I cleaned my stinking office of cat fur, dirt & other things that don't pertain to business.
I have a solitary office kitty (rescued & feral) who lives atop a high shelf in here. She is very timid & the other cats come down & bully poor Sami. Part of their nastiness is 'leaving their mark'. I am so tired of piss. *what was that acronym? I have age old reports that need to be shredded & lots of organizing to do but having a good start helps my attitude. I've been too involved caring for others to care for my business.
Dad needs his Foley changed so I have been waiting for phone calls from the docs to schedule. The Medical Center, which was once called a hospital but now encompasses several satelite clinics, has a new phone system with many buttons to push. The poor humans who finally answer the phones are going crazy from people trying to reach their destinations.
If you artistic people are willing, I have some ideas ...Dad needs me ...\
Lots of posts to read!! My sister is going home to Virginia on Saturday. It has been a hectic but productive 3 weeks for us. She will set the other 5 siblings straight about how much I do, even with Merry coming 35 hours a week, and 3- 6 hour days at daycare. She bought 2 closed circuit cameras for Mom's apartment last year, and just added an infra-red camera in Mom's bedroom today. All are accessible on my laptop which I bought last year. What a Godsend!! Now I can see Mom clearly when she is sleeping, and no longer have to run to her room to check in her in the middle of the night. Sis also paid for all the food and bought 2 cases of pull-ups and other supplies for Mom's care. That's way more than the other sibs. Rip, doesn't matter how many sibs we have, one of us always gets the shaft!!! Miz, So glad you got the job! At least you will get out some. I don't smoke and Mom takes enough antidepressants and anxiety meds for 3 people! I do have restless leg syndrome and have to take Requip for that, to keep my jumpy legs quiet so I can sleep a bit at night. My escape is crafting and my 2 kitties. Couldn't live without them! Tennessee, So sorry for what you are going through. "F" them all!!!! Bobbie, Here's to smooth sailing! If you ever dock in Mass., let me know! SS, So glad you all got away for a while. Rossella, Don't you ever grow up!!! Flirt every chance you get! We installed double locking deadbolts on Mom's doors after she went missing a couple times when my back was turned. You need a key to unlock them from both sides. As for things going missing: Mom's TV remote was missing for 2 weeks, and Merry found it in her purse this week. She had been carrying it around with her the whole time. Mom tries to empty her bag all the time. She puts things under the chair cushions, etc. You never know what you will find! Jojo, Mom is always looking for her young kids, the youngest of 7 is 43! She tells me all the time that she is pregnant or had a baby at the hospital last night. She even tells me how nice the doctor was, and describes the room she was in. Pirate, Mom dropped poop on my foot the other night! I've cleaned her 6 to 7 times a day and sometimes that soup is toxic waste!! I wonder if we will ever get the smell of piss and poop out of our brains!!! As for vacations, we are the only family members that don't seem to get one. Such is life. Does anybody know a good voodoo priestess to put a curse on all of the deadbeat family members we are stuck with? Rip, I'm up for any artistic ideas you have. May we all have a poop free night tonight!!! Goodnight everyone.
Any one her dealing with OCD in a parent. He is driving me crazy with all the things he has to have like twnety papertowels all over the house and TWO rolls of papertowles on the counter at all times. He cant eat unless the sink is clean washed and DRIED. He also has dementa and is constantl;y wanting us to go to the store to buy stuff he already has. Its a battle to keep him from buying three gallons of milk at a time.
OCD? Is that what you call it? I thought my mom was just nuts! Seriously, YES, I know & understand. Living it as I write. Jumping through hoops is what I call it. Just trying to keep up can be a nightmare. The paper towels, kleenex, baggies, plastic fruit containers & micro-meal trays she keeps in the frig along with the paper plates. The list goes on and on; and yes it is maddening. On top of all that mine is also a hoarder. Big fun. Trying to keep her studio apt. in some semblance of order and cleanliness is a real challenge. I'm still shredding documents from the 1940s!!! All that crap is at my house now & crowding my husband and I. Mom also fabricates illnesses to get attention instead of counting her blessings of health at 90 yrs. That REALLY tweeks me to see others truely suffering and her "playing" at illness. They used to call it excentric or senile.LOL It could be and may get worse as this forum is evidence of (especially lately). I consider myself fortunate to have mom only maddening and not have to deal with things like poop soup! That I could not do and I am enamoured of those who can. From what I have learned here, you will miss the OCD when he becomes unresponsive and incapacitated. You will wish everything was as it was when he was driving you crazy. I DO understand that right now we think it's impossible, as I regularly "blow a gasket" on my way home from mom's apt. and it's hard to imagine it any worse. We must buckle our seat belts.....it's going to be a rough ride. Not doom and gloom, just the way things are. Try to keep it in perspective and blow off the steam when and where you can. This is a wonderful forum full of compassionate folks that have been through it too. This too will pass. Still praying for us.
Thanks for your prayers, godhelpus. We all need that! Remember that this, too shall pass. I know that the moments make the hardships seem endless, but one day, we will not have our parent's to deal with, and we'll look back and see how much we've grown.
Miz, how's the job going? Bobbie321, did you get all the parts and repairs done for your boat? Pirate, hang in there! Rosella, I love Milano and Como. Where are you in Italy? Deefer, it's a task keeping up with all the posts. Tennessee, so glad you have a place to vent. Wish there were more we could do to help! To all: God bless you on the journey!
Hi Secret Sis. I live not far from Rome, in the country, in the Tevere valley, about 50 kms (30 miles) north of Rome. I lived for 2 years in the Como area (Brianza) when I was 25, with my parents, and I loved that place. Lake, mountain, little villages, river (Adda)... I used to go eat tiny fried fish on the river. Delicious! I was not vegetarian, at that time. Last Easter I put on my facebook wall exactly the same lamb that you have as a picture of yourself, saying: "Eat chocolate, don't eat me!" but it was useless! Everybody ate lamb.
Rossella, would love to connect with you on FB! I studied Architecture and Interior Design in Italy, Paris, London. So, I have an artistic background, as well. I adored Italy! It's so beautiful there. Wish I could visit again...someday.
Godhelpus, If I have understood well your mother is 90 years old. I don't believe that she will get worse, I mean I do not think that Alzheimer builds up when you are 90 years old, so I think this is the worse that you have to expect from her... I may be wrong, but I would be optimistic...
I have a minor/major problem: one of my friend entrusted (?) me a cat (I mean, I have to to keep the cat with me while she is on vacation). She is a young woman and she has a 5 years old daughter who loves that cat. The cat has been with me for one week and she was well the first few days, then suddenly she started fo feel sick, I took her to the vet yesterday and it seems she has a very serious kidney crisis and she is dying! In fact she is almost dead. I am desperate to have to say this to my friend and I am even more desperate because the child will suffer a lot. I have to go and watch the cat, now. See you later...
Secret sister: Look among the Rossella Messina, there are 40-50 of them. I am the one on the top of a mountain with a little dog near me and a red sweater
I'm afraid she is gone... I shall wait another half an hour to be sure. Tonight I will have to find my friend (who is in Germany so I can't contact her through the phone) and tell her this very bad new. Oh mysery
Rossella, can you not wait to tell her upon her return? Or just prior, so as not to ruin her vacation? Miz is right, that it's awful for you. Poor kitty! And poor little girl. And poor you. Awwwwww
Yes, you are right. I am not so sure about what it is better to do. I have to think it over. I have to think what is better for my friend, knowing my friend... She will decide what to say to her daughter...
oh my lord ! poor kitty !! hate it when that happens to someone that s babysittin animals and things goes wrong . i remmy one year my neighbor cam eover and fed my dog and notice she was draggin her leg , so she took her to the vet and said its broken , didnt know there was a hole inside the dog house , her paw got stuck in it and wham broke her leg . she felt real bad , thinkin if she came earlier none of it would happen . fixed the floor in her dog house and now shes ok . had to wear a cast for a while . poor sheba !! gonna get on facebook and ask u to be my friend , wink xoox
I have to take my mother out, now. She has been home all day long, because I did not want to leave the cat alone. See you all tonight and thank you all for your support...
Rossella, I would contact the friend. I would want to know if something happened to my pet right away. It's too bad when animals pass away and this was so unexpected. Perhaps the child will accept a new kitty after awhile in it's place.
SecSis...maybe we will have to take a trip when all this is over to go see Rossella!
Jen, Secret sis, Lharde, Miz, Rip, thanks for your support. It's not been an easy afternoon; the cat suffered a lot so I had to help her with pain killers, and limited her pain a little bit. I agree with Jen on the fact that it is much better the little girl did not see what happened. I have decided to follow Secret's advice and say it to my friend only if she calls me to ask about her cat. It is useless to waste her vacation and relax. There are no decisions to make, there is nothing to do. Of course, if she calls me, I will tell her. I can hide the truth but I don't want to lie... And, as I am grieved and it's not easy to find an happy thought, let me say some nonsense! Today my mother was in one of these days that I call "The horror movie day". She perceives the reality as violent and gruesome! I think she processes (her own way) what she sees on TV. I don't let her watch the news, of course. She watches love story movies and family movies, the ones which are good for the kids. But, nonetheless, she always finds something to be anguished about! When we went for a ride this afternoon, she said do me: "We must not kill those boys". I asked: "which boys?" and she insisted: "We must not kill those poor boys". And I said: "Mom, we do not generally kill boys!" Then I went to throw the garbage in a bin and she asked me: "Have you done something bad?" I said, "No, mom, just threw away the garbage". And then I realized that maybe she thought I had chopped the bodies of the poor boys I had killed, and I had thrown them in the bin! Well I did not feel like laughing, but I laughed anyway. And then she kept me busy: she took the car insurance coupon (we have to exhibit it and we put it in a pocket which is stuck to the windscreen) (so she can reach it quite easily) because she wanted to cover her icecream; (with the intention to put the icecream, covered by my car insurance coupon, in the bag); she had brought two bags with her and she tried to put one inside of another... And the icecream inside of the inner bag, I think... Oh my! She has such a fantasy that it is impossibile to foresee her intentions. My hair is constantly raised... (as in: hair raising) I told you I would say some nonsense!
Rossella, I would have called right away but that is up to you solely. You do what you think is best for your g/f.
Oh I forgot my mommo story....well the caregiver and I took my mom to the doctor the other day. You have to do that so they will extend med's. Such a hassle. Well I knew it would lead to lab's next...same old same old. Blood and Pee. Well they took the blood because she said she cannot pee. They gave the caregiver the potty tray to catch pee and the cup. Well my lamo mom cannot wait for the caregiver to arrive and pees in the bathroom trashcan...she is so freaking lame. The caregiver calls me at work and asks if that is okay. Well I said was the trash liner in there or was it just the trash can. Could never get an answer out of her. My mom is the background saying she can't pee like she can never pee again. I told her to not listen to her and use her own judgement if it is good enough to submit to the lab. Geezus...between my mom and the stupid caregiver I sometimes don't know which is worse. So tired of it all...really fn tired.
Yes, Pirate, I am exactly like you, I want to know everything right away. But my friend had a very stressful year and maybe she needs to have some more days of relax. She will go back to Rome in one week and she will leave her baby with the father in Germany till the end of August, so I will probably call her when she comes to Rome alone, and tell her what happened. Just one more week! She will decide what to do, whether to tell her daughter immediately, or wait; whether to take another kitten, or a little dog... I would like to go to her with a little kitten in my hands, but I think it's up to her to decide. If she decides to take another cat, there are dozens here in the country... No problems to find her another one. I have a picture of the little girl with the cat and I keep looking at it, just to hurt myself more!
Pirate, I tried to call her when the cat was sick, but I could not reach my friend in Germany and after that, things have gone very fast. There is nothing to do, now, no decisions to make. So I think I will leave her another week of happiness!
I have the same problems when we have to collect the pee for my mother; in general we collect the pee when we arrive at the lab. The nurses there are very patient and they know how to deal with elderly people, so my mother listens to them much more than she listens to me...
oh Rossella ~ I am sorry for laughing ~ but your writing is perfect! In the midst of anguish you find ideal words which put reality in honest perspective..
Isn't it deep night time there? Sunset is hours away here. Moleskin?
I read more new posts today of children (baby boomers) dealing with elder care. I logged onto Oprah.com ... took a while to find a contact link, but think I did. I suggested the producers log on to this site to learn what a large majority of Baby Boomers are or will be facing with elder care. Maybe she can shed light on our troubling situations?
It is a relief knowing I have friends here! Thank you ALL! AOL is really messing with me. Hope this posts.
Mary, AKA SIgnLadyMary also known as Rip the Stitch thanks to Bobbie.
The recent people are facing some very tough situations. Assistance seems far away when you are trapped at home with a parent. Lord knows if they live near a health care agency or stucvk in the middle of no where.
I wish I lived on a farm far from the city smog, until Dad has a medical problem. Having the ER 20 minutes away is a blessing. The EMT's are nearby & wonderful!
About Moleskin: this forum has convinced me that communication and support is possible among human beings, so I will add ONE positive character to the book. The other characters will be stupid asses like the majority of people! Forgive me, I feel weird tonight.
Pirate ~ I just now read this post! You need to write a screen play. Screw the young, upcoming screen writers. This is comedy in it's rawest form. Sad thing is ... how many people will encounter this crap as their parent's age?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Mom's guardian called me today saying she was going to file a petition so mom could be included in dad's care conferences. I told her no one said she couldn't. What's with all these sue-happy people? I'm so sick of my mother's evil! Her guardian told me she understands why my dad paid the bills (when he could). Mom's a total numb brain! I asked if she though mom understood the finances. She said she did, ~at the moment, but not 1/2 hour later. I said, "Then she doesn't understand, does she?" What's the matter with these idiots? It's all about power and control. And this guardian lied and cheated when she was DON of a NH. Sure gives me great confidence having her as mom's guardian, and controlling my family's estate (like I was till mom's "friends" tried to convince her she should have more money...) So, basically, outsiders are controlling my mom, and $$profiting from it. Mom's too stupid to realize it, and I'm just Chicken Little.
Bobbie, thank you for your words. I am very happy if my posts can be useful, even if sometimes they are not very optimistic. I have one great luck, (or misfortune, according to someone). I must not search my inner child. It's always there. It is my inner adult that is more difficult to find! (this can be embarassing, as I am 53)
The child is more capable of handling difficult situations. You all know that children can play among rubbles, during a war! I remember that Peter Pan could fly if he had a happy thought. This is the secret, more or less...
Kiss to everyone
Have you been to the US?
I visited Carmel & Monterey which were my favorite areas of California. Napa Valley wass disappointing to me (my brother lives nearby) in camparison to the beautiful wine regions in Washington State.
I am feeling accomplished today. A window washer is coming Friday, the one luxury I hire out once a year, so I cleaned my stinking office of cat fur, dirt & other things that don't pertain to business.
I have a solitary office kitty (rescued & feral) who lives atop a high shelf in here. She is very timid & the other cats come down & bully poor Sami.
Part of their nastiness is 'leaving their mark'. I am so tired of piss.
*what was that acronym?
I have age old reports that need to be shredded & lots of organizing to do but having a good start helps my attitude. I've been too involved caring for others to care for my business.
Dad needs his Foley changed so I have been waiting for phone calls from the docs to schedule. The Medical Center, which was once called a hospital but now encompasses several satelite clinics, has a new phone system with many buttons to push. The poor humans who finally answer the phones are going crazy from people trying to reach their destinations.
If you artistic people are willing, I have some ideas ...Dad needs me ...\
Cheers all ~
Rip
Miz, So glad you got the job! At least you will get out some. I don't smoke and Mom takes enough antidepressants and anxiety meds for 3 people! I do have restless leg syndrome and have to take Requip for that, to keep my jumpy legs quiet so I can sleep a bit at night. My escape is crafting and my 2 kitties. Couldn't live without them!
Tennessee, So sorry for what you are going through. "F" them all!!!!
Bobbie, Here's to smooth sailing! If you ever dock in Mass., let me know!
SS, So glad you all got away for a while.
Rossella, Don't you ever grow up!!! Flirt every chance you get! We installed double locking deadbolts on Mom's doors after she went missing a couple times when my back was turned. You need a key to unlock them from both sides. As for things going missing: Mom's TV remote was missing for 2 weeks, and Merry found it in her purse this week. She had been carrying it around with her the whole time. Mom tries to empty her bag all the time. She puts things under the chair cushions, etc. You never know what you will find!
Jojo, Mom is always looking for her young kids, the youngest of 7 is 43! She tells me all the time that she is pregnant or had a baby at the hospital last night. She even tells me how nice the doctor was, and describes the room she was in.
Pirate, Mom dropped poop on my foot the other night! I've cleaned her 6 to 7 times a day and sometimes that soup is toxic waste!! I wonder if we will ever get the smell of piss and poop out of our brains!!!
As for vacations, we are the only family members that don't seem to get one. Such is life. Does anybody know a good voodoo priestess to put a curse on all of the deadbeat family members we are stuck with?
Rip, I'm up for any artistic ideas you have.
May we all have a poop free night tonight!!! Goodnight everyone.
Seriously, YES, I know & understand. Living it as I write.
Jumping through hoops is what I call it. Just trying to keep up can be a nightmare. The paper towels, kleenex, baggies, plastic fruit containers & micro-meal trays she keeps in the frig along with the paper plates. The list goes on and on; and yes it is maddening. On top of all that mine is also a hoarder. Big fun. Trying to keep her studio apt. in some semblance of order and cleanliness is a real challenge. I'm still shredding documents from the 1940s!!! All that crap is at my house now & crowding my husband and I. Mom also fabricates illnesses to get attention instead of counting her blessings of health at 90 yrs. That REALLY tweeks me to see others truely suffering and her "playing" at illness.
They used to call it excentric or senile.LOL
It could be and may get worse as this forum is evidence of (especially lately). I consider myself fortunate to have mom only maddening and not have to deal with things like poop soup! That I could not do and I am enamoured of those who can.
From what I have learned here, you will miss the OCD when he becomes unresponsive and incapacitated. You will wish everything was as it was when he was driving you crazy.
I DO understand that right now we think it's impossible, as I regularly "blow a gasket" on my way home from mom's apt. and it's hard to imagine it any worse. We must buckle our seat belts.....it's going to be a rough ride.
Not doom and gloom, just the way things are. Try to keep it in perspective and blow off the steam when and where you can. This is a wonderful forum full of compassionate folks that have been through it too.
This too will pass.
Still praying for us.
Miz, how's the job going? Bobbie321, did you get all the parts and repairs done for your boat? Pirate, hang in there! Rosella, I love Milano and Como. Where are you in Italy? Deefer, it's a task keeping up with all the posts. Tennessee, so glad you have a place to vent. Wish there were more we could do to help! To all: God bless you on the journey!
i remmy one year my neighbor cam eover and fed my dog and notice she was draggin her leg , so she took her to the vet and said its broken , didnt know there was a hole inside the dog house , her paw got stuck in it and wham broke her leg . she felt real bad , thinkin if she came earlier none of it would happen .
fixed the floor in her dog house and now shes ok . had to wear a cast for a while . poor sheba !!
gonna get on facebook and ask u to be my friend , wink xoox
See you all tonight and thank you all for your support...
SecSis...maybe we will have to take a trip when all this is over to go see Rossella!
And, as I am grieved and it's not easy to find an happy thought, let me say some nonsense!
Today my mother was in one of these days that I call "The horror movie day". She perceives the reality as violent and gruesome! I think she processes (her own way) what she sees on TV. I don't let her watch the news, of course. She watches love story movies and family movies, the ones which are good for the kids. But, nonetheless, she always finds something to be anguished about! When we went for a ride this afternoon, she said do me: "We must not kill those boys". I asked: "which boys?" and she insisted: "We must not kill those poor boys". And I said: "Mom, we do not generally kill boys!" Then I went to throw the garbage in a bin and she asked me: "Have you done something bad?" I said, "No, mom, just threw away the garbage". And then I realized that maybe she thought I had chopped the bodies of the poor boys I had killed, and I had thrown them in the bin! Well I did not feel like laughing, but I laughed anyway. And then she kept me busy: she took the car insurance coupon (we have to exhibit it and we put it in a pocket which is stuck to the windscreen) (so she can reach it quite easily) because she wanted to cover her icecream; (with the intention to put the icecream, covered by my car insurance coupon, in the bag); she had brought two bags with her and she tried to put one inside of another... And the icecream inside of the inner bag, I think... Oh my! She has such a fantasy that it is impossibile to foresee her intentions. My hair is constantly raised... (as in: hair raising)
I told you I would say some nonsense!
Oh I forgot my mommo story....well the caregiver and I took my mom to the doctor the other day. You have to do that so they will extend med's. Such a hassle. Well I knew it would lead to lab's next...same old same old. Blood and Pee. Well they took the blood because she said she cannot pee. They gave the caregiver the potty tray to catch pee and the cup. Well my lamo mom cannot wait for the caregiver to arrive and pees in the bathroom trashcan...she is so freaking lame. The caregiver calls me at work and asks if that is okay. Well I said was the trash liner in there or was it just the trash can. Could never get an answer out of her. My mom is the background saying she can't pee like she can never pee again. I told her to not listen to her and use her own judgement if it is good enough to submit to the lab. Geezus...between my mom and the stupid caregiver I sometimes don't know which is worse. So tired of it all...really fn tired.
I have the same problems when we have to collect the pee for my mother; in general we collect the pee when we arrive at the lab. The nurses there are very patient and they know how to deal with elderly people, so my mother listens to them much more than she listens to me...
I am sorry for laughing ~ but your writing is perfect!
In the midst of anguish you find ideal words which put reality in honest perspective..
Isn't it deep night time there? Sunset is hours away here. Moleskin?
I read more new posts today of children (baby boomers) dealing with elder care.
I logged onto Oprah.com ... took a while to find a contact link, but think I did.
I suggested the producers log on to this site to learn what a large majority of Baby Boomers are or will be facing with elder care.
Maybe she can shed light on our troubling situations?
It is a relief knowing I have friends here! Thank you ALL!
AOL is really messing with me. Hope this posts.
Mary,
AKA SIgnLadyMary
also known as Rip the Stitch thanks to Bobbie.
The recent people are facing some very tough situations. Assistance seems far away when you are trapped at home with a parent. Lord knows if they live near a health care agency or stucvk in the middle of no where.
I wish I lived on a farm far from the city smog, until Dad has a medical problem. Having the ER 20 minutes away is a blessing. The EMT's are nearby & wonderful!
Forgive me, I feel weird tonight.
I just now read this post!
You need to write a screen play. Screw the young, upcoming screen writers.
This is comedy in it's rawest form.
Sad thing is ... how many people will encounter this crap as their parent's age?