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Hi Y'all,

Just stopping in to say I'm doing ok. Trying to fight the overall sadness of the black hole that's ever lurking. I've been real tired this weekend and mom just won't let me get any rest. So I guess its SSDD here.

Have a good night dear friends.

Love ya,
Diane
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This is the grossed out and need to vent section so I feel it's appropriate to say that I'm just so tired of poop. Yeah, that's all I had. Just so tired of it, but at least she's not constipated and/or impacted. First time I experienced an impaction - didn't even know that was possible, so that was a learning experience for me - it scared the crap out of me. Vegetable laxatives, metamucil, suppositories, etc. - Anything I could find that I knew wouldn't hurt her - Nothing seem to work. Finally I took her to the doctor demanding they get it out, lol. He said she was fine and that I only needed Miralax. Who'da thunk it? God Bless Miralax.
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Dflex, sorry your not able to get some rest n I wander if you feel like the way you have your profile picture with the hair-pulling. Can u lock your doors n put on some ear-plugs to get a little rest or will that cause you not to be able to hear in case of ER situation?
Victoria, my mil was constipated agin for sh tells me she has to dig her poo out when she gets that way. I try to prevent that by giving her a prescription from the dr called, Polyethlen Glycol every morning. However, not sure its a good idea for prolong use n I will ask her dr. That why I stopped giving for she has been off/on it for about a month. Of course, the mil told me she was going just fine but when I found out she had to dig it out, oh boy that means constipation n don't argue for she will grab it right out of the toliet to show you as she tries to squashes the little rabbit pellets. Ah!!! This is not the first time the mil has done this poo thing. I may have to keep a better record for the dr about the poo.
SSK, if my hubby knew their was a sailboat race n you r right their to view, he would be traveling to your place. I prefer my feet on the ground or at least a boat with a motor. I hope the new hospice works out.
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lildeb, that's why my mother's doc suggested Miralax. It's safe and doesn't need a prescription. One full measured cap full until the impaction passed then 1/2 dose daily as a preventive to keep her regular. I do have to take days off with it because it does tend to make her too regular depending on what she's eating. As we get older all muscles lose their "umph" though. This just makes it possible so that she doesn't end up playing archeologist with her butt and I can help her avoid the discomfort of impaction.
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LLol poop ya it can be a hand full haha.... Anyways lauras continues to decline but the doc gave a little care package as he called it and in it was haldol mental healths wonder drug to help cognitive thinking and amazing it worked I gave her one and 10 min layer she was back talking normal and about current things I don't know how long it will have that effect but it was a great dinner with lots of conversation the family thinks.I.fixed her I had to explain it was temp but it was a wonderful hr and a half she's sleeping now. Well hope you all have.a great day on Monday talk to you soon till then good luck and god bless...
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So Polyethlen Glycol is the same as miralax its just the.pharmacy name the only caution I through out is make sure the person is intake is a gal of water a day or better just because it uses the bodies water supply to help and could potentionally dehydrate them and yes Victoria is.correct it tends to make them more regular ....good luck god bless
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Ok I'm new here but I walk in and my 82 year old mother is spraying furniture polish inside the oven. Yes, because she decided it needed cleaning. She is legally blind in one eye, and is not very good with the other. She is not supposed to ever handle harsh chemicals, but she don't care. She actually thought she was using the easy off oven cleaner. Hello whacky mom, this is exactly why you are not allowed to handle such products. She keeps asking me to go buy insecticide for the roses and hibiscus, right, I'll run right out and do that. The roses and hibiscus have no bugs and are healthy and blooming. (?) She is mentally 5 years old sometimes and says the most over the top things totally inappropriate. She waffles on all subjects to suit her listener and is a hipocrit. (sp) ? She is attacking me verbally like it is my fault she has limitations. Argh. It is crazy making. I have really felt better after reading parts of this thread, just knowing I am not the only one. Thanks for being here.
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Also, I began reading this thread at the very beginning, when the mantra was thinkoftheboat. So did Bobbie or someone actually do it? This was a nice dream for me, but its real? Are some of you still here from 2010? Those first few hundred comments saved me some sanity today. Thank you
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I personally stock up on spares just for this reason!
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Okay so, Polyethlen Glycol is the pharmacy name, but that sounded like a prescription that has to be written by the doctor whereas I just go pick up Miralax when my mom needs more. God forbid that my mom should need something stronger than over the counter stuff lol.
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lildeb, also (now that I know that Polyethlen Glycol is the prescription/stronger version of Miralax) I wanted to add, my mother's doctor gave me the okay for prolonged use with the over the counter. Anything that needs a prescription from the doctor of course should be double checked for daily use. I would definitely ask the doc. I even did ask even with the over the counter version.
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Onlyme, just yesterday, I decided to start from the beginning of this site, How are You and the Dysfunction discussions. I just started on this site in June. But, I read the end for the updates, then read a bit of each ones in the beginning. To answer your question, there are some names that I'm not familiar with on this site that I see in the Beginning compared to the Now. But, it could be too that some don't write as often as before..but they still come here, read and on those rare moments - they comment. Welcome!!!
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SSK I am sure some Amber Jane will give you advice about your toothbrush. Only welcome aboard there is a real boat -Bobbie our Captain is one heck of a lady-keep reading Grossed out-yyou will learn all about our motly crew-I have been here for about 4 years and it saved my sanity when caring for the husband-I stuck around because I had so many friends here-myday starts with checking up on my friends.
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Victoria, what a coincidence! My dad is now going through the Poop stage. I completely forgot how gross that was (went thru it with mom years ago.) Yesterday morning, he had touched his pooh overnight. It was all over his clothes and the washable waterproof pad. I can't stand pooh. When i used to babysit my little nieces/nephews, I required their parents to change their pampers before dropping them off. I told the parents straight out: "I don't do pampers." Karma! I tell you it must be Karma! I truly tell you this, deep in me, I wanted to say, "I quit!" I so much wanted to just walk out. I stood there staring at the mess for a couple of minutes. I think I scared my dad. (I have a terrible temper when growing up. Took me years to finally get it under control.) I must have looked scary to him because as I stared at that mess, I held in my anger (but it must have shown in my face) and sooooo wanted to just walk out.... Karma, I tell you. For all the nieces and nephews in which I gave the parents a hard time - about dropping them with soaking pampers..... Now, I'm forced to handle it. I'm still getting use to it. I ended up cutting up his nice new gray t-shirt (good quality too!) just so that the pooh won't fall over his head when we try to raise his hands to take the shirt off. He kept saying, "Why are you cutting it?! Why are you cutting it?" and I kept saying, "I've told you over and over. I can't stand Pooh! Anything that has pooh Will Be Thrown!" I also threw the pooh-caked waterproof pad.

This is out of necessity. Our washing machine doesn't work so well. I don't have time to hose down the pooh and then wash it twice, etc... So, it gets trashed. By the way, Kmart has informed me when I bought the washer last year, that manufacturers are no longer making outdoor washers. All the washers now are indoor - electronic/computerized with their special laundry soap. Don't know what we're going to do if we need a new washer.
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Good Morning Crew,

Welcome to the new crew!

onlyme, welcome to the boat. You have figured it out! Yes, it's real and there was a caregiver, Ted, who was here just this past weekend.

Thanks Austin, as always, for the nice compliment! I was online looking at marinas up your way while I am still here in the wet shed getting carpentry work done.

This thread and the caregivers who posted on it and the ones that post now are STILL saving my sanity!

bookworm, hope you don't have to get a new washer and I feel you about the poo issue. omg and I also get that you need to take a few minutes to stand there and take in the situation before you can get your hands in it. Oh man, do I get it. AND I don't think it's Karma. I think it's sh!t. hahahaha

more boat work today and onlyme, now I am a caregiver to a big boat!
onlyme, also, your mom has Dementia and there is no telling her what to do and that she can't use this or that. She will get into stuff you won't believe and the only answer is to get all that stuff away from her and hide it under lock and key. Wish I had better news, but Dementia patients don't learn and the disease is progressive. The sooner you accept that the better your overall mental health with be as you deal with the present and what's coming.
If you haven't done so yet start looking into county and state resources for respite care (respite for you!)
Thanks and I hope you join the crew and have a good time venting with us. The caregivers who post here are incredible and between all of us there are answers to just about everything.

OK, some gy standing on the dock yelling at me (not in a bad way) so let me get out there and continue on this amazing journey.

thinkoftheboat...
and think of the Bahamas.....
love you guys way more than you'll ever know. All you guys, even the new ones.
lovbob
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Good morning all! Cricket-thanks for the flair! Love it! Cat-I am still rockin from Friday night! Listening to his CD's! Lildeb-he was always someone I wanted to see too! Hope you get a chance someday!
Tim, I am sending you and Laura positive thoughts and prayers! I really feel for you with that quick change in diagnosis. (((Hugs)))
Diane-I hope you can get some rest-you have been doing so much and trying to stay so positive! I wish you good things and wish they could come quickly for you!
Welcome Onlyme! I have only been on this thread for a few months-what a life saver! Sooooo great to chat with people who really understand! Your profile pic of your kitty looks just like my old kitty! Made me happy just to see it!
This morning is starting out a little cooler...altho they are saying we may be over 90 again later! Mom has day care tomorrow and tooth extraction Thursday! Oh fun! We'll see how it goes! No poop stories this (past) week-thank God! Have a good one all! Mame
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Well, bobbie, you can say that again! It sure isn't karma but sh**. Couldn't help it. Read your words and then giggled. You have one quick comeback! ;) Take care!!
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Oh, jeez, Mame! I was sitting here with my morning coffee, catching up on the comments as the usual part of my morning routine... and then I read your comment and realize that I have an oral surgeon appointment with Mom this morning! If it wasn't for you mentioning a tooth extraction, I would've just totally forgotten. Whew. Thanks! I've been on this site only for a few months too, and now its part of my day - I look forward to this time. It all started for me, when I was looking for information on helping out my elderly parents. I never thought I'd find a site to help me out too! I started here by reading Lisa's thread on getting her mean mother out of her house...and I was hooked. I just love you guys. I get up at 5am, make some coffee, and grab an hour to myself to do nothing but read up and laugh or cry, or just nod my head.
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Glad I could help you out Judy! Haha... I do the same thing in the morning...grab my tea and sign on here to catch up with everyone! If I miss a day on the weekend or something-I feel the void! Definitely need my friends on this site! Thanks to ALL! Mame
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Good Morning all,

Welcome to the thread Onlyme. I think I've been here a year or so now and in many ways this site has been a daily respite for me. What better way to get a little breather mentally and emotionally than to be around friends who understand what your life is like. We've all had our ups and downs and through the thick and thin of it I must say that I am really glad I've hung around. One benefit of caregiving is that we aren't living under an illusion, Caregiving is keeping it real.
Bookworm, sorry but I had to laugh when you wrote about the poop "karma" and how Bobbie said it's not Karma it's shit. LMAO! Caregiving can help us grow and become better versions of ourselves if we let it. lol
Tim, you made a really good point about increasing water intake due to how Miralax draws water out of the body and puts it in the bowels where it is needed. I would just like to add that if we would just increase water intake that perhaps Miralax won't be needed. Dehydration is a serious problem for many so it's something to take seriously. Tim, I'm really glad you got that wonderful hour and a half with Laura and the family.
Mame and Judy, I too love to start my day with a cup of herbal tea and reading this thread. It's a great way to stay connected.
I am so grateful to all of our caregivers who continue to hang with us and share their comments and their life's wisdom.
Diane, If their is any way you can use earplugs and get some sleep without neglecting Mom's real needs, by all means do so. If that isn't possible then please let us help you figure out a solution, don't take this on all by yourself especially when you're exhausted. A lack of needed sleep does screw up brain chemistry and the stress hormones and you've come way to far to get stuck back in the dreaded black hole.
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
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Hey...little news flash here... the "Doctor" who was so full of herself last week and kept posting her personal website info and even phone number is gone. Her profile goes by "anonymous" now.
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Amen I only started on this thread last year & I was crazy that morning searching 4 anything that would help me My MIL had a colostomy bag (been removed since) Had shit all over has alzheimers didnt even know what happen she thought infection blew her side out.... I was searching for ??? & Found this thread & I am a better person dont know what I would have did if I didnt find AC.
Diane Hope you can get some sleep....UGH..
Oh got to tell you all SIL that was suppose to take MIL to beaty shop for perm on a sunday when her shop was closed fiannly txt me yesterday I told her for mil sake she would have to come about 4 or 5pm and she did... txt my phone about hour later sAying MIL was locked in herr car she left her in there to go get wheelchair from shop then went back to shop & door shut so was locked out of shop & car then she got a hold of someone & got inside both & was like then as soon as we get inside mom had pooped all over herself oh my .... I txt back ONE STEP AT A TIME!!!!!!!!
Now thats KARMA!!!!!!LOVE IT!!!!
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Dr. wondered why she felt the need to write it EVERY TIME? I think I will go by Sir Jennifer from now on hahahahaaa!

Mom is so mad I am typing fast to clear out, she has been pissed for days now and mad at every god damn thing she can think of...I do not engage....Respite but I can bring myself to tell her to look into it...
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Thanks, I had no idea that the stuff can dehydrate her if she don't drink enough water. I try to get her to at least drink 4 - 5 glasses a day and that is good for her. She does drink Cafeeine Free soda when she is not trying to grab the other one off the grocery shelf. I also had to cut back a few day from her favorite mac-n-cheese, peanut butter , cheese burgers. It so hard to get her to eat veggies unless I sneak it in the meatloaf n forget the fruit for she say it is too sweet. I notice is totaly oppsite from other elderly people with dementia. Just show that everyone's situation is different yet similar in others.

Onlyme, not familar with your whole situation except that you are the caregiver for your mom that has dementia. I would personal put safety lock up on those chemicals before she blows herself or y'all up or she can get sick using too much. At least it should smell nice, you gotta try n keep a sense of humor. However, for safety issues I would get something done so she cannot just grab those items n she will just have to get all fussy. Better safe than sorry. Good luck.
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Someone mention to me that milk can constipate a person is that really true? She needs her milk for her osteoporsis as well as taking pills for it too. Anyone have any suggestions to sneak in more water please let me have it litterly for I don't won't a dehydrated mil. Maybe I can give he cream of chicken soup n make it a little more soupie. Trying to be creative here or she won't touch it. ;0
Okay, throw it at me n let me have it for any tips for increasing water intake.
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What antibiotic medication seems to work best for UTI's that are persistent?
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Lildeb, it's tough to get water down someone when they refuse to drink, somethings that have helped me is to give them ice chips several times a day. Another thing I do is feed them more watery foods like soups. Also, distilled water is an inexpensive way to get bottled water that is clean and tastes better. As for Milk and constipation...it is possible if one has a milk allergy like me. I substitute vanilla coconut milk because I like the taste of that the best but their is also almond milk and it comes in regular and vanilla. Another reason I like the coconut milk is because it's nice and white and it isn't thicker than regular milk like the others are. It is usually at most grocery stores in the milk section. Hope this helps. xo
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Cricket, the best antibiotic depends on the type of bacteria. Mom used to take Cipro, Augmenten, an injection I can remember the name and another nitrofluoride (sp). Mom frequently would get e.coli bacteria. Drink lots of fluid, stay away from the acid and drink cranberry juice if he isn't on coumadin.
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Thank all of you for the welcome. I just wrote a little summary of my situation and moved wrong and deleted it. #&$?# it! Ah well, another time perhaps. Suffice to say, took care of dad thru his lung cancer till he died, and now mom can't be left alone. He was in pain and was a sweetheart to care for compared to mom. Who is physically very healthy, just mentally deteriorating. She constantly took over conversations when my dad had visitors, and still monopolizes all conversations. She was a tyrant to my dad, guilting him into getting her way all the time. I asked him why he went along with all her BS and he said because it's easier. OK, now she thinks that we are here because we were going to lose our apartment and that she is rescuing us. Oh really? She says to me,"you didn't like living there". Yeah mom, living at the beach in san diego sucks. (sorry for the sarcasm, but I can't say that to her, so I say it to you all. Two years I've been here now, and a couple of days ago she totally had a screaming fit two inches from my nose. I was floored. I honestly thought she was going to slap me or something. It doesn't matter, because anything you say to her will be soon forgotten or totally jumbled. The stuff she says is so far from reality, she is in her own world. She is so self centered, and lonely, but can't make friends because she only knows how to make small talk with these "canned" responses. She never really listens to the speaket, just squaks um hm, ah ha, wow and blah blah blah. No one else in the room can even respond, because mom fills in every gap. Oh boy, I am learning not to share a lot ofinfo with her as she has no filters on her mouth. She even took a visiter into my and my husband's bedroom as part of the house tour?! WTF ? I was in was in kitchen as this was happening and i'm thinking, "no, she wouldn't take anyone in there..." I was wrong again. So much other crap has been going on that I haven't mentioned it. (who am I kidding, shewouldn't remember anyways. Ugh, ) My siblings of whom I am the youngest moved off of the continent years ago, so not much help there. Oh well, enough of my rambling, thanks for the ears, you guys rock. Onlyme
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Ok, I've put a call into my psychiatrist since I'm sinking further in the blackhole. I'm not suicidal, just don't want to get out of bed. Mom is waking me up for silly things these days. One night she woke me up to ask if I wanted a sandwich. Another night she wanted to know where everyone was. I know she can't help it and I've been pretty calm with her but the lack of sleep is taking its toll on me. I swore that is why God never let me have any children since he new I didn't handle lack of sleep well (lol). Little did I know he was saving me up for mom. I think the situation is getting to my boyfriend too. Lastnight he got all pissy over something silly. I'm just waiting for the physical therapist to show up now. Didn't make it into work myself.

Gotta run. Welcome newbies and stay with us.

Love ya,
Diane
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