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Good morning all, I just finished reading everyone's comments and I want to say something to all of you but if I did that my post would go on and on like many of them already do, lol. There is one comment that I am really compelled to answer and that is about Bobbies post..
Bobbie, I was shocked at what you experienced with that "psychic", honestly psychic code or just a plain ol' bitch it doesn't really matter. No excuse for that kind of behavior and words.
I however can see something positive in that horrible experience and want to share it with you here. Keep in mind I am only expressing my view. I find that in all situations there is "a take away" to be had. In what you experienced I would say the take away was not consciously given by her but it was there nonetheless. It was the idea that "when their is much emotion your parents are right there with you"... Okay later she went on to basically say that wasn't true in your case, WRONG! Something deep inside me tells me that once we leave our physical realm, pass through death, that our eyes are opened, the veil is lifted. The people and things we couldn't understand in life become understandable. This belief I have comes from within myself (not religious). It therefore only seems logical to me that ones parents would be close to them because they would then see clearly their child's pain and want to comfort them. They would for the first time clearly see all the sacrifices that were made for them. How could they not see. I only ask of you to consider this possibility. Things that truly come from beyond our physical realm, from the spiritual one that are good can only be enlightening, liberating, and bring real peace and comfort. Logic says that if the good doesn't come forth from the "so called" spiritual person like that woman, or the situation then it makes me wonder about what she is really channeling and why. Sounds to me like she was channeling for self and was looking for what she could get out of the situation while being totally out of tune with the real meaning of spirit or she would have seen your need. I say push her out of the way and let the "take away" fill your need for understanding, love and acceptance that is coming through from your parents in the spiritual realm and embrace the peace that comes from that.
Love you Bobbie and Crew, *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
We're so different. Cricket, you see things in such a positive light - I need some of that peace - got to hang around you more. Me, well, all I could think of was that Bobbie should've pushed her ass off the boat, dragged her out to sea and used her to chum for some really big fish with some really big teeth. Maybe I shouldn't have this 3rd cup of coffee. I think it makes me a bit....prickly. Ha!
You guys are making me scream. Just scared the cat.
Ya, Cricket that's a good way to see it and I was just feeling low this morning. Pity party is over for now. Thanks you guys.
Judy! Well, I see that you'd be a handy crew member on a boat... Big fish are about 30 miles out.
That lady who was on the boat was actually a very nice person and is now travelling everywhere. She's smart and was fun to be around until... Anyway, good speed to her and good health, but Judy! the chum idea was hilarious.
Cricket I have also believed in the veil being lifted as well so everything you said made sense to me. Feels very familiar.
Jen you are so right about funny!
Has anyone heard from Tim?
Going over to read that My Narcissistic mother was killed thread....
Bobbie, 2 things-that woman may be able to "communicate" with animals and the dead but she sure doesn't have empathy to communicate with a living feeling human being! And, no wonder she is looking for another job....
I am miserable today. I should be happy-I had a great weekend, mom is doing great from her tooth extraction and it is not as hot today...but I am not happy! I have college crap to fill out for second son, first son has car repairs needed of $500 and really can't afford it so needs our help, my sister emailed me to let me know that her hubby's family has something going on out of state the same weekend my hubby and I are supposed to get away to a nieces wedding...she is the only one who has ever stayed overnight...so now, we may have to go and come back when we were really hoping for a night away... She will probably not go to her hubby's thing cause she feels really bad for me-and I appreciate that-but I am just so mad it has to be this way! Now, my best family helper is missing out on things she wants to do too! Here I go again, hitting my head against the wall wishing things were different! When will I be able to roll with the punches and not get so upset about these "possible" setbacks etc? I guess I just want freedom... It is scary to think what I will do after mom is gone... Maybe I should be careful what I wish for...I think that is what I want. But it is so useless to think about what isn't. One day at a time right? My counselor keeps trying to have me see the positive or enjoy the good moments...and I do when they are there...but I am so bored and just want to be free to do what I want-when I want! Yet, I won't put her in a home. I hate the caregivers that come and don't trust them as some of you were just writing about. I recently told the service that the deaf lady coming here to be a companion for mom wasn't working out...so they brought another lady-she does not want to wipe arses! Well, hmmmm...that won't work-you should have seen the look she gave me! I cannot guarantee that if I go out she won't take a dump or have diahrea! What are you going to do call me as I am getting my hair cut and tell me to come home??? Also, getting her to and from daycare is exhausting and almost not worth it! Oh God...I am just miserable. AND I am procrastinating cause I do not want to do the college paperwork...but if I don't it will make me anxious...so I REALLY need to do it! UGH!!! Vent and Live right? Good God,I am sorry to go on and on. I am going to try and get some of this paperwork done and maybe I will feel better. I will check in later. Thanks for being here. Love to all. Mame
Mame can't you son do the paperwork for college or is it something that has to be done by the parents-when my kids were going-they are now in their 40's-they did all the paperwork we just told them our financial stuff-you already have too much to do for everyone.
Ahhh, there's so many stories and so many situations here. I've been on AC long enough to know to abbreviate "AC" and I know what "NH" is now, still learning the rest. I can recognize many names from previous posts, but I don't know you. I feel like I've come into a book half way through, but can't go back, because someone stole the pages. I wish you all well though and thanks for being you. Also, thank you all. I was almost afraid to come in today for fear of the reaction I might receive. It's a breath of fresh air to know that you not only understand, but also have had experiences similar to mine. For the most part, what happened the last couple respite days, I have let it go...for the most part. It just sucks that, over the last 3 years, I have actually gotten to the point where respite feels more like work than just kicking it at home with my mom. I dread respite day and I shouldn't. Those are truly the only 2 days I can get into town and get things I need without the distraction and frustration of dealing with my mom's "I want" condition. Trips with her are considered "fun days". I don't focus on anything but making sure she's enjoying herself. I have discovered the hard way that trying to shop for the house or my personal needs only adds to my stress and then neither of us are enjoying ourselves. I will shop for her personal needs though, that way when I turn to her with a box of babywipes I can say "these are for you!". She's always happy to get something, she hardly cares what it is.
"I'm not up to figuring out how to send private messages, etc so to whomever concerned, just letting you know that my mom is nearing the end, and I am just hopeing that she passes peacefully. love Susan"
Thanks all. I know I make more work for myself-but I am a little OCD about the college forms and the loans we take out-practically getting the amout we need to the penny! I do make him do what he needs to but some of it-I just had to do. Well, now it is done. Mom is napping-didn't go to daycare today cause it was just too much for me to get her ready and out etc and she never wants to go anyway... She had bad diahrea so I am just as glad she stayed home. Or am I? hahaha Anyway, thanks for letting me vent and for your understanding! I am going to take my dog and the neighbors for a quick walk in the back woods. Maybe that will get me out of this funk! I am glad I got that done... Tomorrow will be a better day...haha... Thanks Mame
cricket thanks. I plan to if for no other reason than I need new friends. Most of my other friends went *poof* since I started caregiving for my mom full-time lol.
Victoria, that's great. I'm usually here off and on throughout the day on most days. I will look forward to getting to know you better. Most friends and family go "poof" once you start caregiving so you're in good company here. *´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
SSkape ! so Sorry ... Rugged road but your Grossed friends are here & on FB. Hi Kuli ~ "When all else fails, hug the dog."
Bob ... your address was lost. CB@ HM or YH? Will try to snag from Harv's stuff. Deef is busy & exhausted. Imagine.... More later - y'all are Great!!!!... *How did Tony the Tiger say that? Well, convert it to cyber speak. The Grossed thread has been here for so many HeadBanging caregivers ... uh Mary & Lindas & Miz & Barb & ... don't let me start.
Sscape: I don't really know, just the little from my time on GO and your limited posting during that period. I did, however, read more about you in earlier postings on GO. My heart and prayers are with you and your mom. Blessings for a peaceful passing. Love, Cattails
Hi All...I've been coming daily and reading the posts. I find it difficult to remember who is what on this site. Even though I don't mention you all by names, I have been keeping track...then forget the next day. So frustrating my forgetfulness. I'm getting more and more forgetful. I know it's from the stress of caregiving and definitely the lack of sleep. For the past 2 nights, mom needs constant suctioning. I look at the time, it's like every hour I get up to suction her. Then by 4am, it's like every 30 min...So, I come on this site, and it's a struggle to remember who said what. I feel bad when I don't mention each of you. It's like I'm being rude. Today I know that Lildeb has an appt with heart doc. Tomorrow, I will remember that Someone had the heart appt but can't remember Who. It just seems so rude that I can't remember ..so I don't comment.
Dad is definitely going to be the poopy stage. He keeps telling me over and over to quit treating him like a kid (when I give him advice like scratching the rash is going to make it worse, quit touching IN there, too much herbals is causing your body to break out in rashes, etc...) He has the nerve to look at the poop on the bed and ask, "What's that? How did it get there? I didn't do it!" And he says not to treat him like a child? (Which I Don't!)
This morning, I saw poop on waterproof pad and basically shut down. It was like...major depression descended. I dragged my feet to clean him. Because I did that, I was late. I left the house at 8:20am. I drove regularly (following the speed limit of 35mph) instead of trying to be Speedy Gonzalez with eyes all over looking out for cops while I try to push the speed limit of 43 mph. Uhm...cops tend to give you speeding tickets when you go 45 and up. Arrived work - 8:45...and the boss was there! I walked in and just said, "Good morning." Since he didn't bring up my tardiness, I decided that I will do the same. But that just set my day...a bit down...
As I read the other threads today, the thought keeps popping up that maybe it's time to seek therapy. I'm still so torn since therapy is a no-no with my religion. I will need to really think hard on this. Please All - do not come down on my religion here. I'm already feeling guilty for even being on this site!! It's a constant struggle within me: Being at AC vs Religious belief. An official of my religion very reluctantly mentioned to me that if therapy is needed, then I should see one. But I can read between the lines. It's still frowned upon but ...It's hard to overcome this when we were told over and over for Years that therapy is a No-No.
I only commented because Bobbie's comment a few pages back asking us to comment. Kind of felt bad that I haven't been posting. It's just I hate being so negative all the time...so I don't post.
Bookworm: When you first came to AC you were extremely depressed and had considered ending your life. You started posting and connecting with people and, bless you, it lifted you up and moved your forward.
Recently, you got your feelings hurt on AC. It was on another thread and apologies were made so I'm hoping that the experience of that situation is not keeping you from posting everyday, as many times each day as you can. Your stories and posts to others are insightful and encouraging. You make a positive difference in the lives of others.
I have so much respect for you. What you must accomplish everyday is unbelievable. I could not do what you do and I say that with all honesty. On the other hand, I think I have more options that you do, so I don't have to do what you do. So there is a difference, in my favor, between us. Please understand that the fact that I have more options than you only increases my respect for you and your ability to carry on. You rock!!!!
I can't begin to tell you how angry I get about your life. I think of you as a prisoner in this family compound. Didn't you just say recently that your older sister will be moving in with you? It didn't sound like you even had a say in that. Just another thing you must accept. I hope this sister will be of some value in taking care of your parents. Since she will be having a roof over her head, I would also hope that it is not your responsibility to pay her to take care of the parents while you are working.
I have no problem with your religion. I would only say that I hope it is a comfort to you. Nevertheless, you stated in your post that you are ready to get counseling. That is your decision to make and I do hope you make that choice.
You have spent your life going along with the responsibilities placed on you. I'm sure it is a combination of family and religion that has kept you working around the clock for so many years.
You are well trained in family values and your religious upbringing. Yet you intuitively know that what has been cast upon you is not right. In my very humble opinion this is God's voice speaking to you. You are a part of God and a part of humanity. Hold on to that and understand that when your soul speaks to you, it might be more meaningful than ideology. Follow you gut and you won't go wrong because this is how you hear God.
I've missed you posts, the frequency of them and all the things you had to tell about your day.
I know you describe yourself as a very literal person. Bless you, you have taken to heart good advise and put it to use. Don't forget that part of you is universal and tied to a greater awareness. Follow your gut and heart. It doesn't always have to be literal or black and white..
I am sending you love and hoping to see you back here and on various other threads. You are an amazing woman. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
Thanks, cat. It's the poop that I can't stand! Ever since I was a teenager and was forced to babysit my older siblings' children (my bro called it "happy labor" not paid babysitting), I have always hated changing pampers with poop. Mom wasn't so bad because she only pooped when it was time to change her pampers. Dad is so different. He Touches It! And Spreads It!! I get so grossed out, I just want to walk out and never come back. I mean, I can clean traches (stomach churning event -best not to eat until After) and her stomach tube (gross to see stomach acid coming out of the hole and see the result of it burning her outer skin). But, show me poop - and I just can't seem to get used to it. I see it, and then I either get soooo angry and disgusted and just don't even want to go NEAR him and it. Or like today, it overwhelms me and I just go immediately into depression. And he's going through this stage. It was the sudden shut down this morning when I knew maybe it's time to seek counseling. It was just too drastic a change in me. Scary...if you know what I mean. All my hard work to get out of the tunnel - just slammed into me. I started this morning figuring out a way to make the arrangements and decided a Saturday morning would be best. This scared me. My emotions are too drastic and overwhelming. That maybe it's time to seek counseling. I'm now like 75% leaning towards it. Don't worry. I'm not suicidal now. No poop to overwhelm me.
Sis is a given. She will move back in December. She will free-load. We are already struggling with what little food we have (pampers, wipes, etc costs so much.) I really really try Not to think of it. I really hope she will be of help this time around. I've had a terrible temper when growing up. I've learned to control it. In order to do so, I have had to keep every anger inside me. One day, sis will push me too far, and I won't care if she's my elder. (We were raised to respect our elder.) I will end up telling her off and Ordering her what I want out of her...Or Else. Until that time, I keep peace. Yes, I know, it's no good to hold in your anger. That's why I'm here venting! hehehe!!
Well, no more sad thoughts, time to move on.. I have to change their pampers now, and the trache. With enough time, I still need to read the "Caregiver How Are U" and Lisa's thread. Thanks, cat and all!
My mother-in-law can no longer get up or do things for herself so she doesn't do this stuff any more--but I happened upon the hospice bath aide using my daughter's toothbrush to brush Grandma's dentures! The aide just picked up the toothbrush nearest to the sink and assumed it was Grandma's. Don't know how many times before that she'd used it--I told my daughter it was the first time and bought her a new one.
Book I understand about the poop-I was a nurse and I hated it when my pts. fingerpainted with their poop-but vomiting was the worse I would start gagging myself-and spinal taps forget about it I nearly fainted every time.
Bookworm-I know exactly how you feel about speaking to individuals in your posts! I was so nervous about it when I first came on it that I would write little notes for myself about each person and what was going on that day! I was and am so afraid of forgetting someone and having them feel left out!!! But I think everyone here knows we all love eachother and would never want to leave someone out-but some things ppl say just hit home and you have to speak to that person or persons. Tomorrow or next post you may be talking to someone else...it all comes out in the wash! I just wanted you to know that it was, and sometimes still is, a source of stress for me tooo!!! As for poop-it will always be a sourse of discussion on this site won't it?? I am much better than I used to be but still gag every now and then...an mom always laughs! Gonna be hot again here today-but cooling off the rest of the week! I am so excited to not be a sweat ball! Yes, as you can tell, my mood is better today. Thanks everyone! Mame
ssk- my heart is with you dear , sending angels at your way . xoxoxox
bobbie - i knew something was wrong when i got on ur boat and i tell you im glad that lady is gone cuz i had bad vibes and it was pullin me down . spiritly was still lingering in the air and it wasnt a good one .... when i left i felt so much of the spirit came off my shoulders . and lord behold no wonder u were surounded by the bad spirits !! that woman is no good , she s into bad shit man ! i hope that spirit is gone long ago . i think it is cuz ure posting again whooo hoo ! she may be nice and fun to be with but spiritly its a bad one ... CHRISTINA am i right ? christina knows . shes so full of angels goods in her . i love her ! i love you so much bobbie and stay away for who makes u down . one day ill be back on ur boat lalala ....
king island was wonderful ! so glad i went , it perked me up and i been lalala since monday !!! wooo daughter s going back to work this comin monday and shes got her hands full . so this mommy here is gonna help as much as i can . :-) .
bookworm I understand completely I'm 41 & starting to think Im loosing my memory bad.. I have to make notes what needs to get done or ill forget & all of you some like cat has spoke to me alot & told me alot to help me out & bobbie & i still consid. a newbie but i take notes to or love to follow cats post cause she ussualy reminds me what i just read from all of you... Been a crappy day my back hurts from mil not even trying and falling because she takes alarm off so I saftey pinned it to her .. Tommmrow starts the popcorn festival starts w the best parade ever & we are small town so you know everybody the ball team floats so, kids excited... MIL is going . Hopefully hubby gets to go... well said austin....
Evening Crew, It's not uncommon for any of us to get confused about who said what. The way I look at it is it's part of the side effects of being a caregiver. So when someone answers or comments to the wrong person I just go with the flow anymore and hope that others will do the same for me when I get confused. Many times when I'm reading everyone's posts I'm nodding and thinking to myself oh I should say this or that and then I continue reading and by the time I get to the end of the posts I usually end up commenting on who I think needs encouragement the most. It's just to hard to comment to everyone. I try to just look at us as a collective body and give attention where I think it's needed most. Does that make any sense to you guys and gals? I hope so :)
Tonight I attended a Webcast on Caregiving and was interviewed live. It was quite an encouraging experience. I even got to see another caregiver from here face to face! Ted and Diane were there also and shared their experiences and talked about caregiving. I think it's going to be an ongoing event and can't wait to do it again.
I hope everyone and their parents are safe and as well as can be expected tonight. Mame, Bookworm, Onlyme, and lildeb, you ladies hang in there and know that you aren't alone, my heart goes out to each one of you right now.
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Bobbie, I was shocked at what you experienced with that "psychic", honestly psychic code or just a plain ol' bitch it doesn't really matter. No excuse for that kind of behavior and words.
I however can see something positive in that horrible experience and want to share it with you here. Keep in mind I am only expressing my view. I find that in all situations there is "a take away" to be had. In what you experienced I would say the take away was not consciously given by her but it was there nonetheless. It was the idea that "when their is much emotion your parents are right there with you"... Okay later she went on to basically say that wasn't true in your case, WRONG! Something deep inside me tells me that once we leave our physical realm, pass through death, that our eyes are opened, the veil is lifted. The people and things we couldn't understand in life become understandable. This belief I have comes from within myself (not religious). It therefore only seems logical to me that ones parents would be close to them because they would then see clearly their child's pain and want to comfort them. They would for the first time clearly see all the sacrifices that were made for them. How could they not see. I only ask of you to consider this possibility. Things that truly come from beyond our physical realm, from the spiritual one that are good can only be enlightening, liberating, and bring real peace and comfort. Logic says that if the good doesn't come forth from the "so called" spiritual person like that woman, or the situation then it makes me wonder about what she is really channeling and why. Sounds to me like she was channeling for self and was looking for what she could get out of the situation while being totally out of tune with the real meaning of spirit or she would have seen your need. I say push her out of the way and let the "take away" fill your need for understanding, love and acceptance that is coming through from your parents in the spiritual realm and embrace the peace that comes from that.
Love you Bobbie and Crew,
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Ya, Cricket that's a good way to see it and I was just feeling low this morning. Pity party is over for now. Thanks you guys.
Judy! Well, I see that you'd be a handy crew member on a boat...
Big fish are about 30 miles out.
That lady who was on the boat was actually a very nice person and is now travelling everywhere. She's smart and was fun to be around until...
Anyway, good speed to her and good health, but Judy! the chum idea was hilarious.
Cricket I have also believed in the veil being lifted as well so everything you said made sense to me. Feels very familiar.
Jen you are so right about funny!
Has anyone heard from Tim?
Going over to read that My Narcissistic mother was killed thread....
Thanks again you guys,
lovbob
I am miserable today. I should be happy-I had a great weekend, mom is doing great from her tooth extraction and it is not as hot today...but I am not happy!
I have college crap to fill out for second son, first son has car repairs needed of $500 and really can't afford it so needs our help, my sister emailed me to let me know that her hubby's family has something going on out of state the same weekend my hubby and I are supposed to get away to a nieces wedding...she is the only one who has ever stayed overnight...so now, we may have to go and come back when we were really hoping for a night away... She will probably not go to her hubby's thing cause she feels really bad for me-and I appreciate that-but I am just so mad it has to be this way! Now, my best family helper is missing out on things she wants to do too! Here I go again, hitting my head against the wall wishing things were different! When will I be able to roll with the punches and not get so upset about these "possible" setbacks etc? I guess I just want freedom... It is scary to think what I will do after mom is gone... Maybe I should be careful what I wish for...I think that is what I want. But it is so useless to think about what isn't. One day at a time right? My counselor keeps trying to have me see the positive or enjoy the good moments...and I do when they are there...but I am so bored and just want to be free to do what I want-when I want! Yet, I won't put her in a home. I hate the caregivers that come and don't trust them as some of you were just writing about. I recently told the service that the deaf lady coming here to be a companion for mom wasn't working out...so they brought another lady-she does not want to wipe arses! Well, hmmmm...that won't work-you should have seen the look she gave me! I cannot guarantee that if I go out she won't take a dump or have diahrea! What are you going to do call me as I am getting my hair cut and tell me to come home??? Also, getting her to and from daycare is exhausting and almost not worth it! Oh God...I am just miserable. AND I am procrastinating cause I do not want to do the college paperwork...but if I don't it will make me anxious...so I REALLY need to do it! UGH!!!
Vent and Live right? Good God,I am sorry to go on and on. I am going to try and get some of this paperwork done and maybe I will feel better. I will check in later. Thanks for being here. Love to all. Mame
Also, thank you all. I was almost afraid to come in today for fear of the reaction I might receive. It's a breath of fresh air to know that you not only understand, but also have had experiences similar to mine. For the most part, what happened the last couple respite days, I have let it go...for the most part. It just sucks that, over the last 3 years, I have actually gotten to the point where respite feels more like work than just kicking it at home with my mom. I dread respite day and I shouldn't. Those are truly the only 2 days I can get into town and get things I need without the distraction and frustration of dealing with my mom's "I want" condition. Trips with her are considered "fun days". I don't focus on anything but making sure she's enjoying herself. I have discovered the hard way that trying to shop for the house or my personal needs only adds to my stress and then neither of us are enjoying ourselves. I will shop for her personal needs though, that way when I turn to her with a box of babywipes I can say "these are for you!". She's always happy to get something, she hardly cares what it is.
Sskape2 posted this on FB
"I'm not up to figuring out how to send private messages, etc so to whomever concerned, just letting you know that my mom is nearing the end, and I am just hopeing that she passes peacefully. love Susan"
Diane, thank you for letting us know about Susan
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Rugged road but your Grossed friends are here & on FB. Hi Kuli ~
"When all else fails, hug the dog."
Bob ... your address was lost. CB@ HM or YH?
Will try to snag from Harv's stuff.
Deef is busy & exhausted. Imagine....
More later - y'all are Great!!!!... *How did Tony the Tiger say that? Well, convert it to cyber speak. The Grossed thread has been here for so many HeadBanging caregivers ... uh Mary & Lindas & Miz & Barb & ...
don't let me start.
Cherish Indigo & Omaha
Dad is definitely going to be the poopy stage. He keeps telling me over and over to quit treating him like a kid (when I give him advice like scratching the rash is going to make it worse, quit touching IN there, too much herbals is causing your body to break out in rashes, etc...) He has the nerve to look at the poop on the bed and ask, "What's that? How did it get there? I didn't do it!" And he says not to treat him like a child? (Which I Don't!)
This morning, I saw poop on waterproof pad and basically shut down. It was like...major depression descended. I dragged my feet to clean him. Because I did that, I was late. I left the house at 8:20am. I drove regularly (following the speed limit of 35mph) instead of trying to be Speedy Gonzalez with eyes all over looking out for cops while I try to push the speed limit of 43 mph. Uhm...cops tend to give you speeding tickets when you go 45 and up. Arrived work - 8:45...and the boss was there! I walked in and just said, "Good morning." Since he didn't bring up my tardiness, I decided that I will do the same. But that just set my day...a bit down...
As I read the other threads today, the thought keeps popping up that maybe it's time to seek therapy. I'm still so torn since therapy is a no-no with my religion. I will need to really think hard on this. Please All - do not come down on my religion here. I'm already feeling guilty for even being on this site!! It's a constant struggle within me: Being at AC vs Religious belief. An official of my religion very reluctantly mentioned to me that if therapy is needed, then I should see one. But I can read between the lines. It's still frowned upon but ...It's hard to overcome this when we were told over and over for Years that therapy is a No-No.
I only commented because Bobbie's comment a few pages back asking us to comment. Kind of felt bad that I haven't been posting. It's just I hate being so negative all the time...so I don't post.
Recently, you got your feelings hurt on AC. It was on another thread and apologies were made so I'm hoping that the experience of that situation is not keeping you from posting everyday, as many times each day as you can. Your stories and posts to others are insightful and encouraging. You make a positive difference in the lives of others.
I have so much respect for you. What you must accomplish everyday is unbelievable. I could not do what you do and I say that with all honesty. On the other hand, I think I have more options that you do, so I don't have to do what you do. So there is a difference, in my favor, between us. Please understand that the fact that I have more options than you only increases my respect for you and your ability to carry on. You rock!!!!
I can't begin to tell you how angry I get about your life. I think of you as a prisoner in this family compound. Didn't you just say recently that your older sister will be moving in with you? It didn't sound like you even had a say in that. Just another thing you must accept. I hope this sister will be of some value in taking care of your parents. Since she will be having a roof over her head, I would also hope that it is not your responsibility to pay her to take care of the parents while you are working.
I have no problem with your religion. I would only say that I hope it is a comfort to you. Nevertheless, you stated in your post that you are ready to get counseling. That is your decision to make and I do hope you make that choice.
You have spent your life going along with the responsibilities placed on you. I'm sure it is a combination of family and religion that has kept you working around the clock for so many years.
You are well trained in family values and your religious upbringing. Yet you intuitively know that what has been cast upon you is not right. In my very humble opinion this is God's voice speaking to you. You are a part of God and a part of humanity. Hold on to that and understand that when your soul speaks to you, it might be more meaningful than ideology. Follow you gut and you won't go wrong because this is how you hear God.
I've missed you posts, the frequency of them and all the things you had to tell about your day.
I know you describe yourself as a very literal person. Bless you, you have taken to heart good advise and put it to use. Don't forget that part of you is universal and tied to a greater awareness. Follow your gut and heart. It doesn't always have to be literal or black and white..
I am sending you love and hoping to see you back here and on various other threads. You are an amazing woman. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
Sis is a given. She will move back in December. She will free-load. We are already struggling with what little food we have (pampers, wipes, etc costs so much.) I really really try Not to think of it. I really hope she will be of help this time around. I've had a terrible temper when growing up. I've learned to control it. In order to do so, I have had to keep every anger inside me. One day, sis will push me too far, and I won't care if she's my elder. (We were raised to respect our elder.) I will end up telling her off and Ordering her what I want out of her...Or Else. Until that time, I keep peace. Yes, I know, it's no good to hold in your anger. That's why I'm here venting! hehehe!!
Well, no more sad thoughts, time to move on.. I have to change their pampers now, and the trache. With enough time, I still need to read the "Caregiver How Are U" and Lisa's thread. Thanks, cat and all!
As for poop-it will always be a sourse of discussion on this site won't it?? I am much better than I used to be but still gag every now and then...an mom always laughs!
Gonna be hot again here today-but cooling off the rest of the week! I am so excited to not be a sweat ball!
Yes, as you can tell, my mood is better today. Thanks everyone! Mame
bobbie - i knew something was wrong when i got on ur boat and i tell you im glad that lady is gone cuz i had bad vibes and it was pullin me down . spiritly was still lingering in the air and it wasnt a good one .... when i left i felt so much of the spirit came off my shoulders . and lord behold no wonder u were surounded by the bad spirits !! that woman is no good , she s into bad shit man !
i hope that spirit is gone long ago . i think it is cuz ure posting again whooo hoo !
she may be nice and fun to be with but spiritly its a bad one ... CHRISTINA am i right ? christina knows . shes so full of angels goods in her . i love her !
i love you so much bobbie and stay away for who makes u down . one day ill be back on ur boat lalala ....
king island was wonderful ! so glad i went , it perked me up and i been lalala since monday !!! wooo
daughter s going back to work this comin monday and shes got her hands full . so this mommy here is gonna help as much as i can . :-) .
ssk - xoxoxox
have a happy weds you all xoxo
Poop here is same, though he knows it is his, he says it's no big deal....
He doesn't have to wipe it off the walls...does he?
Been a crappy day my back hurts from mil not even trying and falling because she takes alarm off so I saftey pinned it to her ..
Tommmrow starts the popcorn festival starts w the best parade ever & we are small town so you know everybody the ball team floats so, kids excited... MIL is going .
Hopefully hubby gets to go...
well said austin....
Tonight I attended a Webcast on Caregiving and was interviewed live. It was quite an encouraging experience. I even got to see another caregiver from here face to face! Ted and Diane were there also and shared their experiences and talked about caregiving. I think it's going to be an ongoing event and can't wait to do it again.
I hope everyone and their parents are safe and as well as can be expected tonight. Mame, Bookworm, Onlyme, and lildeb, you ladies hang in there and know that you aren't alone, my heart goes out to each one of you right now.
SSkape, my prayers are with you daily.
Love Cricket