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Where possible it may help to find ways to reduce or prevent the things that gross you out. I ensure if my mum is going to do more than a number one I take the toilet paper out of the bathroom and tell her to call me when she's done. I then use gloves and give her a proper wipe followed by a wipe with moist toilet paper. This makes life a lot easier and pleasant for me especially when it comes to bathing her. It really does in the long run make my life a lot easier and less messy all round. So many things cant be help but we sometimes have to find ways to make it better for ourselves as carers.
Thanks for the input Josie. I've been toileting Mom for 4 years. Between Parkinsons and dementia, she no longer has the ability to do simple everyday things for herself. As for the grossness, it's a fact of life for the care givers of dementia sufferers. Sometimes joking about it and sharing our stories helps those who are having trouble coping, look at it from a different perspective. Most of us have already been through the grossest of gross and feel we can help others by discussing the things we have been through. And yes, we have all learned tricks to help us get through the day. By the way, Walmart Shea Butter wipes are the best! Make clean up easy and don't irritate the skin. They are not flushable and only cost around $4 for a huge package. Cleans better than moistened tissue and smell great!
I keep following the storm on the news, so scary. Still nice weather out this way. Got some great news about StepDad today. The CT scan was clear. Such a relief. Really a miracle. Thanks everyone, for the prayers and support.
Mame! I could see that dress and you look great! Love the necklace too! DEEF!!! What you gonna do about that 25000 post Boat Time? heehee Linda! wassup? (linda has already come to the boat Twice!!) Hope everyone who has been in the storm is ok. I hate it for all who have lost their homes and for all whose lives are so impacted. Awful.
Hi Josie and Welcome to the Grossed Out Thread. It's great that your mom is still able to sit on the pot by herself. Enjoy that! The last year or so of my mom's life I had to take her and stand by her so she wouldn't fall and wouldn't get poop everywhere. No such thing as leaving her to call me when finished. She couldn't speak properly and most of the time didn't know what she was doing in the bathroom anyway. Would try and pull her pants up and sit on the cover to the toilet. If I didn't catch her she would pull her pants up, pee and then get upset that she was all wet. That only happened twice and after that I just hung out and told her jokes or made her laugh by acting like a goofball. (Easy for me)
We have to laugh about it and we talk about it because so many people think it's just terrible that we goof on it and think we are being disrespectful to our moms and dads but like Deef, who has been wiping butt for over 4 years, we either laugh and call it like we see it or go nuts.
Most people who think that we are out of line are either not 24/7/365 caregivers or their parent hasn't reached that stage where the rudder doesn't answer the helm. The disease is progressive so it's not an if it's a when.
I never used gloves on my mom, just got in there and got her shiny on the hiney and after the first few times of getting 'dookie'!! on your hands you get over it.
Right after my mom died holding my hands I took the sheet down to the deep sink and washed it out by hand. It was the last very personal thing I did for her.
Keep posting Josie! If it gets crazy Vent and Live!
Deef, thanks for the shea butter ass shiners idea, think I'll get some for me......
The Boat Angel seems to be getting stronger and I am so afraid to believe that he may be ok for awhile. One day at a time, like just about everything else we all do.
Meanwhile! so glad that your StepDad got a clear CT scan. So scary waiting for tests. Stormy... hope your issues are getting better and how is Connor? Bookworm! how are you feeling? Still worried about Austin. Wish she would post. Anyone heard anything?
Cuz!! we got the winds from the cold front coming out of the West today. The boat was really rocking.
Thanks again you guys for being so supportive during my journey. Love you all and get my kicks handing out 'likes'!
He is snoring away but I need some cinnamon toast. Haha.
Hi All, I’m trying my best not to talk about my health. I’ve been having flashbacks of when I was a teen. Every time we went to different doctors about my headaches, etc…the doctors always said that I was trying to get parent’s attention. The last time I went as a teen, was when the doc told mom that I was a hypochondriac. I didn’t know that word but looked it up when I got home. After that, I refused to go to the clinic. I remember once having a full-blown flu, lying in bed, not wanting to get up but just sleep and sleep. I vaguely heard the parents trying to wake me up to go to the clinic because I was also burning with fever. I refused. Since then, up till now, I avoid going to the clinic….I just feel like when I tell you all my problems, I feel such a hypochondriac.
I woke up this morning at 2:00am choking. I slept on my back on the wedge pillow with a pillow on top of the wedge. I woke up choking – couldn’t breathe in or out. My body finally coughed so hard – my throat felt raw. I kept coughing and coughing so hard. Each cough felt like it was opening the airways. This is the first time I’ve had this happen. Acid Reflux? Sleep apnea? If I sleep on my side, I 99% wake up with neck pain which then leads to major headaches. I’m a side sleeper but not worth it if I wake up with excruciating neck pain. I also wear a neck brace at night but it doesn’t work well. I wake up with head in an unusual angle – hence the neck pain.
The pain on my right chest/back/arm is now a vague pain. The pain sharpens with coughs/sneezes. I’m so tired of the pain – pain on chest, shoulder, arm, neck pain, headache, sinus headache (face/nose hurts)….Lately, I’ve been fighting the depression being brought by the pain. I’m tired of popping pills to temporarily rid the pain. My thoughts keep going to suicide – so tired of the pain. Pain, father, mother, pain, etc…all neverending. Gosh, I’m tearing up. Definitely depression. … Suicide thoughts only. No desire to action on it.
Happy Halloween! Bobbie etc-when we do this boat thing-can I be cruise director? I love holidays and planning parties-well, when I don't have to do bathroom duty every 5 minutes! (I did have to use gloves at first and do when it is really bad or I am gagging and mom is laughing at me. I hate to deny her a good laugh but...) Deef-glad you survived the storm! It was like nothing here... All hype. But, if it had been bad, we would have been ready! No water to be found in the grocery stores on Sunday! The stores get the last laugh...
Meanwhile, glad stepdad's cat scan is clear. What a relief.
Lildeb- Hubby going to see Michael Myers on Halloween-Scary!
Book-you have been through so much in your life! The stress of your childhood and now caregiving stress-it WILL make you sick! No hypochondria here! I wish I could help you out and give you a long break! Hugs!
Thank you for all the nice comments about the dress. It felt good on and I felt good in it! The jewlrey was so much fun to pick out! While mom was at daycare I went to the mall and found 3 different sets at 3 different stores and had to have my sister meet me to help me decide! I had the dress with me and hung the hanger over my head and put the necklace on to see how it would look! It was so much fun. Thanks for the compliments!
Mom seems to be doing ok with the bronchitis at times but is slowing up and usually once she does that it is downhill from there. She also didnt' sleep well last night and talked all night long to no one there... Not unusual when she is sick and on meds. I had really hoped we caught it early enough to keep her from getting this way. We will see what the day brings.
We watched "The Secret Life of Bees" last night. She loved it! And so did I. It was long enough ago that I read the book that I could enjoy the movie without constantly comparing. Great cast and very well done!
Well, I hope you can all have a decent day. Happy Halloween! Mame
Book!!! You are not a hypochondriac!!! You haven't had an easy life and all the things you have lived with have definitely taken their toll on you. ai have had pain all my life too and learned to live with it because I had to. When I was young, in the 50's and 60's, you didn't go to the doctor unless you were really sick. So when I had heartburn so bad, I took Tums. When my legs hurt so bad it was "growing pains". Finally, about 20 years ago, I was diagnosed with Autoimmune Disease. Even though I never got very sick with flus or colds, I always had heartburn and pain somewhere. In addition to that, I had very heavy periods and was always anemic therefore tired all the time. I learned to push myself through it all because I had no choice. I had my appendix out when I was 39 and all my symptoms escalated after that. My appendix almost ruptured due to an infection from a stone that had passed into it. That infection brought out the autoimmune symptoms even more. the following year I was putting a new liner in our pool and got into cold water up yo my waist. When I got out, My skin was covered in huge red welts from the waist down, and my legs swelled up a lot. Called the doctor and he asked if I had trouble breathing and I said no, so he told me to take an antihistamine and elevate my legs. If I had trouble breathing, I was to head straight to the ER. After that happened, a visit to my doctor confirmed that I had Autoimmune Disease and that was the cause of lifetime acid reflux, body pain, and now Raynaud's and urticaria. I also had a problem with anemia for so long and finally had a blood test the showed my body was not absorbing iron, so I had to take iron pills for 15 years. At one point, my blood crit was 18 and a normal level is 39+. Doctor thought I had internal bleeding until he ordered the special blood test. I believe you truly do have a medical problem, just haven't found the right doctor to diagnose what is wrong. Hang in there and listen to your instincts. If you feel something is really wrong, get to the doctor right away. Don't ever fell like you are bothering us with your health issues. Talking to someone about them will ease your fears. Meanwhile good news on the CT scan! Bobbie. If I had the means, I'd be climbing onto that boat by the end of the week! Okay, getting late! Have to get Mom up and out to daycare. Yay!!! Wish I could drop my husband off too!!!!
Mame, you do look great in that dress. I'm trying to come up with projects for step Dad. He loves to build things. He just finished a hay feeder for the horses. So I mentioned some bird houses to hang in the trees would be nice. That was 2 days ago, he showed up this afternoon with 8 very nice bird houses, different types for different types of birds, all painted a pretty blue. Book,. you are not a hypochondriac. Have you tried sleeping on your side, with a pillow between your knees, and another pillow to throw your arm over? I can't sleep on my back either, same thing my throat gets so dry. I have an old whiplash injury (from getting bucked off a horse and landing on my head). So have to be careful with my neck too. I saw the sleeping with 3 pillows on Dr Oz, and it works for me. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I switch sides too. Bobbie, glad to hear boat Angel is doing well.
A priest and a pastor from the local church are standing by the side of the road, pounding a sign into the ground that reads: "THE END IS NEAR! TURN YOURSELF AROUND NOW----BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!" As a car speeds past them, the driver yelled, "LEAVE US A ALONE, YOU RELIGIOUS NUTS" From the curve, they heard screeching tires, and a big splash. The pastor turns to the priest and asks, " do you think the sign should just say "BRIDGE OUT"?
It's not really the grossness of dealing with elderly parents, even though I cringe at his burping, farting, terrible eating habits and bad breath, it's the constant dealing with him dying every day. He's had bi-passes, a pace maker, stomach bleeds arrhythmia and now an abdominal hernia. The stress is horrendous and there is never anyone to talk to about it. My sisters are mercifully in another state. I automatically want to talk to my mother about things like this and I always realize, like a shock, that she's dead. She can't help.
Eldestdaughter, You are not alone. Everyone here is dealing with some form of stress from medical issues with loved ones they are caring for. And you are right! No one wants to listen to us unless they are one of us. Almost all of us are feeling the isolation that you are. Absent siblings, friends who have no idea and don't want to know. I take care of my Mom who has Parkinsons and dementia. I have 6 siblings, most of who are close by, and they asked me to quit my job 5 years ago to care for Mom. They don't call and rarely stop to visit. Mom's dementia has progressed to where she is in a wheelchair all the time and can't do anything for herself. The PD makes her very unsteady on her feet, and the dementia has robbed her of all common sense when it comes to her own safety. She needs constant care, washing, dressing, feeding, and is totally incontinent both ways now. Although her general health is good, her mind is almost not there anymore. My dad passed away 31 years ago at the young age of 54, so I have pretty much been here for Mom all these years. I found this site about 3 years ago, out of desperation and the need to talk to someone who knew what I was going through. Many good friends have come and gone, mostly due to losing the one they cared for. I still keep in touch with many of them through e-mail or phone calls. This is definitely a good place to come and vent! You can be gross, sad, mad, or just plain silly! Someone will always reach out and talk to you and give you encouragement. So make yourself at home and hang out and talk with us whenever you feel the need.
I haven't read current post which I do shortly. I wanted to update you on my mom's situation. I copied this post from what I wrote on the Dysfunctional thread. Today was my sister's day to visit with mom, take her grocery shopping,etc. Well it didn't turn out so good for sis. Mom was out of control trying to find things she lost, blaming my sister for stealing them. Mom had lots of paperwork out all over the place looking for her checkbook, paperwork. Sis said she was running back and forth from the kitchen to the bedrooms digging thru everything and yelling at my sis the whole time accusing her of taking things. Sis called comcast to cancel the cable tv cause mom refuses to watch it, she called direct tv to see if they would reduce or waive the penalty fee for mom cancelling her contract early since she has Alzheimer's. They told her she would have to write a letter. She never took her grocery shopping cuz she couldn't handle mom with the accusations and witnessing her decline. She left a message on my cell and I called her on my lunch. She was in tears over it saying mom needs to be on medication and I couldn't deal with her, mom locker herself in the bedroom and sis left. I told her this is why I wanted you to see her more often helping because this is what I have been going thru the last few weeks with her. She can't manage things anymore and we need to be checking in with her personally more often. I think I am going to call her dr. in the morning to make an appt. with a neurologist that comes to his office once a week. If mom throws a fit when I take her in then I will have to deal with the fall out at that time, but if I can get her evaluated and on an antidepressant or anti-anxiety med, then all the better even if I have to go over to her house every morning to give it to her.
I am happy that those of you who were in "Sandy's" path weren't impacted like many of the others have been. Book~I have to agree with the others that your symptoms are the result of a real ailment. Even if it is stress related, the symptoms are real and can be dealt with medication. Don't stop seeking answers to the symptoms because one dr. years ago said you were a hypochondriac. Some dr.'s just have no ability to see beyond what they have experienced and aren't willing to look for something else. If you need to go to another dr. then do it. As far as all the burping and farting go, that is something I don't have with my mom. However!!!, my husbands family finds these bodily noise quite humorous and they make a BIG deal about it by spreading their aroma to everyone in the room, Lol!! You either learn to fit in with it or you don't come around them very often!! They have gotten better as they have aged, thank God!!! Have a good night everyone and happy ZZZZZ!!
Hi Everyone, Cricket is on her way home on a red eye flight, and I'm up at 1 am working on my stuff for tomorrow. We spent 2 days here and yesterday at her daughter's house. It was awesome, like we had known each other for years. I know she'll tell you more about it because she talks WAY MORE than I do. LOL Hope you are all well, surviving the tolls of caregiving. I bet you missed Cricket. She is a wonderful, healthy, very loving person, and I am so fortunate to call her my BFF. My Mother is hanging in there. Some days she talks, but mostly tries to sing. I am more at peace, and I think she is. She is not irritable lately, and I am thankful for the more frequent attention she gets from the hospice nurse. The male relief CG on Wed/Thurs is very cute, which she noticed. One day Mother said, "I need a hunk." I said, "Yes, Mother, we all do." Oi vey. The kids are great, each is happy with their relationships and jobs. Hubby and I are way too busy with work, but we are thankful for that Blessing. I think of you all, and know new caregivers here are nurtured and encouraged by your example. You are very special women. And a guy once in a while:) Love and Hugs, Christina xo
Meanwhile – I laughed on your joke. I was in the office when I was reading it. I had to cover my mouth so that the laugh did not escape. I copied and pasted it to my Word File: Funny – AC. Thanks!
Christina – thanks for the update. Liked the comment about the male relief CG. The caregivers that comes – also hired a male. My dad was so upset. He didn’t want a Man to clean him! (I thought it was funny and laughed quietly.)
Sharyn, it wasn't just 1 doctor. Well,he was the only one who said that I was a hypochondriac. All the others before him said that I was looking for attention or that my headaches/stomacha aches (severe PMS) was all in my head. When I was attending college, I went to see the attending doctor. He also works at the hospital. He actually told me that my headaches were learned behavior from my mother. Just because my mom never got diagnosed with migraines, he Implied that perhaps she needed pyschological help. And repeated that I was experienced "imitation" of my mom. I had another doctor- about 8 yrs ago, when I told her that my stomach pains were so bad, that it felt like there was a bowling ball inside. She did not aggressively pursue the problem. When I said that my PMS was getting worse, now I have to take Midol, the doc -aware of my aversion to to take pills - said to me: that there is nothing wrong with taking medicine when we need it. I have learned from an early age of middle school to current - that doctors do not take seriously when I complain about pain. (Maybe they have other patients who have no problem exaggerating their pain.) I have been seeing doctors about my headaches, etc... It's just that now, the pain is not only on my head...
But, I will figure out what to do. I need to find a good doctor. I need a female doctor so that I can be open to her. I'll figure it out....
Well, in the pasts, whenever I take antibiotics, I get severe yeast infection. This time, I decided to experiment (to avoid taking the pill). I've been eating yogurt every day. So far, so good!
Hey everyone, just checking in. I have been down with the stomach virus. First, connor then, me and then hubby got it. So for the last 3 three days we all have been in stomach virus HELL!!! We are still trying to get back to normal. So maybe i will feel better later on tonight and can chat more with ya'll. Talk to ya later. Hugs stormy
Where the heck is everybody??? Bad day for everyone or just lurking? Mom had daycare yesterday, so help was here today. I took advantage yesterday and got my car inspected. We have to do that once a year here in Mass. Today I paid the property tax bill which is now over $800/ quarter. I got home and the water bill came with the mail!!! Can't win. I finally got to Lowe's and picked up lumber so I can cut the pieces I need to start painting for the craft shows. Tomorrow I will be working in the cellar cutting and sanding what I need. Found a pattern for a cute nativity set that I want to do and some cool animal patterns. The bodies and feet are wood and the arms are fabric tubes with the hands glued onto them. Some of them have hand painted canvas ears. Been wanting to do the animals for years, just never got around to it. Mom was good after daycare yesterday and ate well and had a good night's sleep. Today, Merry's daughter came to sit with her. By mid afternoon Mom was having one of her hissy spells and got all agitated. She did the same thing last time Merry's daughter worked. Come to find out, her spouse came for a while and then her daughter got dropped off.I think all the activity got Mom agitated. Any of you would know that the more people in a room with a person suffering from dementia, the more confused they get. Once we got her into the kitchen and fed, she got better and was all set after that. I'll have to tell Merry that if her daughter is going to sit with Mom, her family can't be coming and going while she is here. It's just to confusing for Mom. Sharon, It's definitely time to get someone to step up with your Mom. She should not be alone anymore and she needs to make a decision about her finances. An elder lawyer should be able to take care of that to her satisfaction, as long a she is still able to comprehend the process. Christina, Glad you and Crickett had a nice visit! Meanwhile, great joke! Book, antibiotics do the same to me! Fix one thing and break another. Stormy, sorry you all had the stomach bug. Hope you feel better soon! How is everybody else? Jen, Diane, Maxine, Lildeb, Cattails,Ese, Renarad, Judy, Linda, Bobbie!!!!
christina, you mom sounds like she knows what she still likes when it comes to a hunky man. It seems if the love one is getting taking care of that we can relax more n I am glad your mom is getting treated good in the hospice. Eldestdaughter, Sibs r hardly around when it comes to helping as a caregiver n sorry your dad health is declining. Is he in hospice? You can see about seeing a counselor for that can help you deal with the situation. You also always have us here to talk, vent n a shoulder to cry on n evening some joking too. Consider us as your cyber-family that has or is dealing with similar situations that understands n cares too. Hugs to you. Deef, your dad passed away at a very young age too like my mom. it sadden me to hear that your mom health has declined. This adds more work on you as you will have to do everything for her. How has the wheel chair been working out for her? Book, have you ever had a Lupus Sle lab work test done? I had to see a Rhematologist to test my ANA titers. Lupus sle can cause different pains in joints n other places. I wouldn't won't anyone to have this disease n mine is in remission for past 10yrs. I would keep seeking for help to find out what is going on unless it is Stress. We all know that stress can make you feel sick. Not sure if their is a test for Stress but I would check into that too. Something is going on with your body so keep searching. You r in my prayers.
I hope that everyone and loved ones came through the storm OK. Gong to be a long haul for a lot of people for months there...
The usual haul here...listening to my mother try and explain the ballot issues to grandpoo. Hilarious. What ever.
Supposed to be a mild winter for us in Spokane, Wa. I hope so, one less thing ya know.
We had about 55 Trick or Treaters this year, several with handicapped kids or adults, that was new. Either more people with special needs kids, or modern society finally decided it was shameful to hide them away like they were unclean.
One little girl was a Geisha! My God, I have come full circle, I went as a Geisha when I was 9!
Hi to everyone new and returning grossed outers. I think anyone doing any kind of caregiving, who has anything to say is welcome here. Yes, even if ya think we are bad bad people to grouse and complain. Such is life.
Have a good weekend and beginning to November all. jen
Deef, just read your recent post n glad to hear u got a little break n that your mom enjoyed herself at the day center. Those little breaks sure do go fast but they do make a difference. As for property taxes, don't get me on that mess for they have went sky rocketed on one of ours. my mnl don't like a lot of people around her either for she for some reason gets confused more than usually. I guess they start to wander why they r their in the first place n so on n it just makes them nervous then agitated more. Plus, the normal routine has shifted to what may seem a very busy conversation n movement that she cannot keep up with n that can cause some agitation. You may see if she just like to watch some t.v. in her room for that may relax her somewhat? Stormy, sorry the whole family got the bug n y'all just keep that wherever y'all got it from please. Glad yall are feeling a little better. We all got r flu shot last Sunday so hopefully none of us will get it too bad. some good ole fashion soup n crackers always sound good when u r trying to recover from the flu bug. keep us posted on how yall r doing.
Hi everyone: I'm not going to go into a lot of detail right now, but will share more later. It's only 7:15pm, but I'm tired and going to head for bed here shortly. My nephew, who was 34 years old committed suicide this past Monday night. It's a long, sad story filled with people who tried to help him every step of the way.
My bil and sil raised him and his brother after their mom had been murdered by her ex-husband. Sometimes you just can't put all the pieces back together, no matter how hard you try and how much you love.
The memorial service will be a week from this Saturday and Warren and I will be going to California to be with them. We are in contact daily with Rick and Cyn. We love them so much and they have been through more than most of us can imagine.
I posted about this on Lisa's thread. Deef and Book, thanks for the wall posts. I appreciate your understanding and heart felt wishes.
I've been trying to make sense of it all. I don't think it's possible, but my heart is filled with compassion for those who walk a path that can't be endured and those that try to save them. It's such a weight to bear on those left behind.
I'll share more later. Just wanted to give you the basics.
May love and white light fill your lives and light your path. Love, Cat
Deef, I know that I am short but if you look way down you should be able to see me. I couldn't help myself. ; ) I guess the trick or treators wore them out. I know some have been sick with the flu bug too.
Cat- I posted on your wall. I am so sorry to hear of your nephew's passing. It is so sad to hear of a young person taking their own life. I wish there was more i could do for you. Just know that i am here for you if you need to talk, you know how to get in contact with me. My love and hugs to you Stormy.
Deef and lil deb- I am still feeling out of sorts with the aftermath of the stomach virus. Still kinda feeling sick to the stomach, having heartburn and no appetite whatsoever, I haven't eaten much since i got over it and that was tuesday afternoon. I just wish my stomach would feel normal again. I did eat a plain hamburger today thinking that would make the heartburn go away but it didn't. Well, maybe tomorrow i will feel better. I hope so. And i hope no body else gets this mess either. I haven't caught up on all the posts yet so i will try to do that maybe tomorrow. Ya'll have a good night and a good day tomorrow. Love and hugs stormy.
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Mame! I could see that dress and you look great! Love the necklace too!
DEEF!!! What you gonna do about that 25000 post Boat Time? heehee
Linda! wassup? (linda has already come to the boat Twice!!)
Hope everyone who has been in the storm is ok. I hate it for all who have lost their homes and for all whose lives are so impacted. Awful.
Hi Josie and Welcome to the Grossed Out Thread. It's great that your mom is still able to sit on the pot by herself. Enjoy that! The last year or so of my mom's life I had to take her and stand by her so she wouldn't fall and wouldn't get poop everywhere. No such thing as leaving her to call me when finished. She couldn't speak properly and most of the time didn't know what she was doing in the bathroom anyway. Would try and pull her pants up and sit on the cover to the toilet. If I didn't catch her she would pull her pants up, pee and then get upset that she was all wet. That only happened twice and after that I just hung out and told her jokes or made her laugh by acting like a goofball. (Easy for me)
We have to laugh about it and we talk about it because so many people think it's just terrible that we goof on it and think we are being disrespectful to our moms and dads but like Deef, who has been wiping butt for over 4 years, we either laugh and call it like we see it or go nuts.
Most people who think that we are out of line are either not 24/7/365 caregivers or their parent hasn't reached that stage where the rudder doesn't answer the helm. The disease is progressive so it's not an if it's a when.
I never used gloves on my mom, just got in there and got her shiny on the hiney and after the first few times of getting 'dookie'!! on your hands you get over it.
Right after my mom died holding my hands I took the sheet down to the deep sink and washed it out by hand. It was the last very personal thing I did for her.
Keep posting Josie! If it gets crazy Vent and Live!
Deef, thanks for the shea butter ass shiners idea, think I'll get some for me......
The Boat Angel seems to be getting stronger and I am so afraid to believe that he may be ok for awhile. One day at a time, like just about everything else we all do.
Meanwhile! so glad that your StepDad got a clear CT scan. So scary waiting for tests.
Stormy... hope your issues are getting better and how is Connor?
Bookworm! how are you feeling?
Still worried about Austin. Wish she would post. Anyone heard anything?
Cuz!! we got the winds from the cold front coming out of the West today. The boat was really rocking.
Thanks again you guys for being so supportive during my journey. Love you all and get my kicks handing out 'likes'!
He is snoring away but I need some cinnamon toast. Haha.
lovbob
I woke up this morning at 2:00am choking. I slept on my back on the wedge pillow with a pillow on top of the wedge. I woke up choking – couldn’t breathe in or out. My body finally coughed so hard – my throat felt raw. I kept coughing and coughing so hard. Each cough felt like it was opening the airways. This is the first time I’ve had this happen. Acid Reflux? Sleep apnea? If I sleep on my side, I 99% wake up with neck pain which then leads to major headaches. I’m a side sleeper but not worth it if I wake up with excruciating neck pain. I also wear a neck brace at night but it doesn’t work well. I wake up with head in an unusual angle – hence the neck pain.
The pain on my right chest/back/arm is now a vague pain. The pain sharpens with coughs/sneezes. I’m so tired of the pain – pain on chest, shoulder, arm, neck pain, headache, sinus headache (face/nose hurts)….Lately, I’ve been fighting the depression being brought by the pain. I’m tired of popping pills to temporarily rid the pain. My thoughts keep going to suicide – so tired of the pain. Pain, father, mother, pain, etc…all neverending. Gosh, I’m tearing up. Definitely depression. … Suicide thoughts only. No desire to action on it.
I will be fine. I feel such a hypochondriac.
Deef-glad you survived the storm! It was like nothing here... All hype. But, if it had been bad, we would have been ready! No water to be found in the grocery stores on Sunday! The stores get the last laugh...
Meanwhile, glad stepdad's cat scan is clear. What a relief.
Lildeb- Hubby going to see Michael Myers on Halloween-Scary!
Book-you have been through so much in your life! The stress of your childhood and now caregiving stress-it WILL make you sick! No hypochondria here! I wish I could help you out and give you a long break! Hugs!
Thank you for all the nice comments about the dress. It felt good on and I felt good in it! The jewlrey was so much fun to pick out! While mom was at daycare I went to the mall and found 3 different sets at 3 different stores and had to have my sister meet me to help me decide! I had the dress with me and hung the hanger over my head and put the necklace on to see how it would look! It was so much fun. Thanks for the compliments!
Mom seems to be doing ok with the bronchitis at times but is slowing up and usually once she does that it is downhill from there. She also didnt' sleep well last night and talked all night long to no one there... Not unusual when she is sick and on meds. I had really hoped we caught it early enough to keep her from getting this way. We will see what the day brings.
We watched "The Secret Life of Bees" last night. She loved it! And so did I. It was long enough ago that I read the book that I could enjoy the movie without constantly comparing. Great cast and very well done!
Well, I hope you can all have a decent day. Happy Halloween! Mame
I had my appendix out when I was 39 and all my symptoms escalated after that. My appendix almost ruptured due to an infection from a stone that had passed into it. That infection brought out the autoimmune symptoms even more. the following year I was putting a new liner in our pool and got into cold water up yo my waist. When I got out, My skin was covered in huge red welts from the waist down, and my legs swelled up a lot. Called the doctor and he asked if I had trouble breathing and I said no, so he told me to take an antihistamine and elevate my legs. If I had trouble breathing, I was to head straight to the ER. After that happened, a visit to my doctor confirmed that I had Autoimmune Disease and that was the cause of lifetime acid reflux, body pain, and now Raynaud's and urticaria. I also had a problem with anemia for so long and finally had a blood test the showed my body was not absorbing iron, so I had to take iron pills for 15 years. At one point, my blood crit was 18 and a normal level is 39+. Doctor thought I had internal bleeding until he ordered the special blood test.
I believe you truly do have a medical problem, just haven't found the right doctor to diagnose what is wrong. Hang in there and listen to your instincts. If you feel something is really wrong, get to the doctor right away. Don't ever fell like you are bothering us with your health issues. Talking to someone about them will ease your fears.
Meanwhile good news on the CT scan!
Bobbie. If I had the means, I'd be climbing onto that boat by the end of the week!
Okay, getting late! Have to get Mom up and out to daycare. Yay!!! Wish I could drop my husband off too!!!!
Book,. you are not a hypochondriac. Have you tried sleeping on your side, with a pillow between your knees, and another pillow to throw your arm over? I can't sleep on my back either, same thing my throat gets so dry. I have an old whiplash injury (from getting bucked off a horse and landing on my head). So have to be careful with my neck too. I saw the sleeping with 3 pillows on Dr Oz, and it works for me. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I switch sides too.
Bobbie, glad to hear boat Angel is doing well.
As a car speeds past them, the driver yelled, "LEAVE US A ALONE, YOU RELIGIOUS NUTS"
From the curve, they heard screeching tires, and a big splash. The pastor turns to the priest and asks, " do you think the sign should just say "BRIDGE OUT"?
Although her general health is good, her mind is almost not there anymore. My dad passed away 31 years ago at the young age of 54, so I have pretty much been here for Mom all these years. I found this site about 3 years ago, out of desperation and the need to talk to someone who knew what I was going through. Many good friends have come and gone, mostly due to losing the one they cared for. I still keep in touch with many of them through e-mail or phone calls. This is definitely a good place to come and vent! You can be gross, sad, mad, or just plain silly! Someone will always reach out and talk to you and give you encouragement.
So make yourself at home and hang out and talk with us whenever you feel the need.
Today was my sister's day to visit with mom, take her grocery shopping,etc. Well it didn't turn out so good for sis. Mom was out of control trying to find things she lost, blaming my sister for stealing them. Mom had lots of paperwork out all over the place looking for her checkbook, paperwork. Sis said she was running back and forth from the kitchen to the bedrooms digging thru everything and yelling at my sis the whole time accusing her of taking things. Sis called comcast to cancel the cable tv cause mom refuses to watch it, she called direct tv to see if they would reduce or waive the penalty fee for mom cancelling her contract early since she has Alzheimer's. They told her she would have to write a letter. She never took her grocery shopping cuz she couldn't handle mom with the accusations and witnessing her decline. She left a message on my cell and I called her on my lunch. She was in tears over it saying mom needs to be on medication and I couldn't deal with her, mom locker herself in the bedroom and sis left. I told her this is why I wanted you to see her more often helping because this is what I have been going thru the last few weeks with her. She can't manage things anymore and we need to be checking in with her personally more often. I think I am going to call her dr. in the morning to make an appt. with a neurologist that comes to his office once a week. If mom throws a fit when I take her in then I will have to deal with the fall out at that time, but if I can get her evaluated and on an antidepressant or anti-anxiety med, then all the better even if I have to go over to her house every morning to give it to her.
Book~I have to agree with the others that your symptoms are the result of a real ailment. Even if it is stress related, the symptoms are real and can be dealt with medication. Don't stop seeking answers to the symptoms because one dr. years ago said you were a hypochondriac. Some dr.'s just have no ability to see beyond what they have experienced and aren't willing to look for something else. If you need to go to another dr. then do it.
As far as all the burping and farting go, that is something I don't have with my mom. However!!!, my husbands family finds these bodily noise quite humorous and they make a BIG deal about it by spreading their aroma to everyone in the room, Lol!! You either learn to fit in with it or you don't come around them very often!! They have gotten better as they have aged, thank God!!! Have a good night everyone and happy ZZZZZ!!
Cricket is on her way home on a red eye flight, and I'm up at 1 am working on my stuff for tomorrow. We spent 2 days here and yesterday at her daughter's house.
It was awesome, like we had known each other for years. I know she'll tell you more about it because she talks WAY MORE than I do. LOL
Hope you are all well, surviving the tolls of caregiving. I bet you missed Cricket. She is a wonderful, healthy, very loving person, and I am so fortunate to call her my BFF.
My Mother is hanging in there. Some days she talks, but mostly tries to sing. I am more at peace, and I think she is. She is not irritable lately, and I am thankful for the more frequent attention she gets from the hospice nurse. The male relief CG on Wed/Thurs is very cute, which she noticed. One day Mother said, "I need a hunk." I said, "Yes, Mother, we all do." Oi vey.
The kids are great, each is happy with their relationships and jobs. Hubby and I are way too busy with work, but we are thankful for that Blessing.
I think of you all, and know new caregivers here are nurtured and encouraged by your example. You are very special women. And a guy once in a while:)
Love and Hugs,
Christina xo
Christina – thanks for the update. Liked the comment about the male relief CG. The caregivers that comes – also hired a male. My dad was so upset. He didn’t want a Man to clean him! (I thought it was funny and laughed quietly.)
But, I will figure out what to do. I need to find a good doctor. I need a female doctor so that I can be open to her. I'll figure it out....
Well, in the pasts, whenever I take antibiotics, I get severe yeast infection. This time, I decided to experiment (to avoid taking the pill). I've been eating yogurt every day. So far, so good!
Mom had daycare yesterday, so help was here today. I took advantage yesterday and got my car inspected. We have to do that once a year here in Mass.
Today I paid the property tax bill which is now over $800/ quarter. I got home and the water bill came with the mail!!! Can't win.
I finally got to Lowe's and picked up lumber so I can cut the pieces I need to start painting for the craft shows. Tomorrow I will be working in the cellar cutting and sanding what I need. Found a pattern for a cute nativity set that I want to do and some cool animal patterns. The bodies and feet are wood and the arms are fabric tubes with the hands glued onto them. Some of them have hand painted canvas ears. Been wanting to do the animals for years, just never got around to it.
Mom was good after daycare yesterday and ate well and had a good night's sleep. Today, Merry's daughter came to sit with her. By mid afternoon Mom was having one of her hissy spells and got all agitated. She did the same thing last time Merry's daughter worked. Come to find out, her spouse came for a while and then her daughter got dropped off.I think all the activity got Mom agitated. Any of you would know that the more people in a room with a person suffering from dementia, the more confused they get. Once we got her into the kitchen and fed, she got better and was all set after that.
I'll have to tell Merry that if her daughter is going to sit with Mom, her family can't be coming and going while she is here. It's just to confusing for Mom.
Sharon, It's definitely time to get someone to step up with your Mom. She should not be alone anymore and she needs to make a decision about her finances. An elder lawyer should be able to take care of that to her satisfaction, as long a she is still able to comprehend the process.
Christina, Glad you and Crickett had a nice visit!
Meanwhile, great joke!
Book, antibiotics do the same to me! Fix one thing and break another.
Stormy, sorry you all had the stomach bug. Hope you feel better soon!
How is everybody else? Jen, Diane, Maxine, Lildeb, Cattails,Ese, Renarad, Judy, Linda, Bobbie!!!!
Eldestdaughter, Sibs r hardly around when it comes to helping as a caregiver n sorry your dad health is declining. Is he in hospice? You can see about seeing a counselor for that can help you deal with the situation. You also always have us here to talk, vent n a shoulder to cry on n evening some joking too. Consider us as your cyber-family that has or is dealing with similar situations that understands n cares too. Hugs to you.
Deef, your dad passed away at a very young age too like my mom. it sadden me to hear that your mom health has declined. This adds more work on you as you will have to do everything for her. How has the wheel chair been working out for her?
Book, have you ever had a Lupus Sle lab work test done? I had to see a Rhematologist to test my ANA titers. Lupus sle can cause different pains in joints n other places. I wouldn't won't anyone to have this disease n mine is in remission for past 10yrs. I would keep seeking for help to find out what is going on unless it is Stress. We all know that stress can make you feel sick. Not sure if their is a test for Stress but I would check into that too. Something is going on with your body so keep searching. You r in my prayers.
The usual haul here...listening to my mother try and explain the ballot issues to grandpoo. Hilarious. What ever.
Supposed to be a mild winter for us in Spokane, Wa. I hope so, one less thing ya know.
We had about 55 Trick or Treaters this year, several with handicapped kids or adults, that was new. Either more people with special needs kids, or modern society finally decided it was shameful to hide them away like they were unclean.
One little girl was a Geisha! My God, I have come full circle, I went as a Geisha when I was 9!
Hi to everyone new and returning grossed outers. I think anyone doing any kind of caregiving, who has anything to say is welcome here. Yes, even if ya think we are bad bad people to grouse and complain. Such is life.
Have a good weekend and beginning to November all. jen
Stormy, sorry the whole family got the bug n y'all just keep that wherever y'all got it from please. Glad yall are feeling a little better. We all got r flu shot last Sunday so hopefully none of us will get it too bad. some good ole fashion soup n crackers always sound good when u r trying to recover from the flu bug. keep us posted on how yall r doing.
My bil and sil raised him and his brother after their mom had been murdered by her ex-husband. Sometimes you just can't put all the pieces back together, no matter how hard you try and how much you love.
The memorial service will be a week from this Saturday and Warren and I will be going to California to be with them. We are in contact daily with Rick and Cyn. We love them so much and they have been through more than most of us can imagine.
I posted about this on Lisa's thread. Deef and Book, thanks for the wall posts. I appreciate your understanding and heart felt wishes.
I've been trying to make sense of it all. I don't think it's possible, but my heart is filled with compassion for those who walk a path that can't be endured and those that try to save them. It's such a weight to bear on those left behind.
I'll share more later. Just wanted to give you the basics.
May love and white light fill your lives and light your path. Love, Cat
I guess the trick or treators wore them out. I know some have been sick with the flu bug too.
I haven't caught up on all the posts yet so i will try to do that maybe tomorrow. Ya'll have a good night and a good day tomorrow. Love and hugs stormy.
Cat! What terrible news.
The ultimate desperate act for a poor soul who just is so sad. Angels to you all for enduring yet another loss.
Breathe. And know we're all here.
lovbob
Cat! What terrible news.
The ultimate desperate act for a poor soul who just is so sad. Angels to you all for enduring yet another loss.
Breathe. And know we're all here.
lovbob