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bobbie321.....About a year ago my account got hacked and XXX naughty stuff was sent to my whole email address book..........and I still had all of the email addresses from being the Church Youth Director. Thank goodness my Pastor has a kickin' sense of humor but YIKES. Luckily we caught it and parents of the teens could intervene, but no one seemed surprised, I guess they've seen worse.
Hi Stormy, I echo all the sentiments here especially LovBob. I too was caught in a "perfect storm" of situational depression with mom, my job, my daughter and grandson moving in, menopause and insomnia. I tried to be everything to everyone and lost myself in the process. Didn't put on my oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. Bob is right about checking into therapy and/or anti-depressants. I did, and have been on low dose (50mg) of Zoloft for 3 weeks now and what a difference! I feel the heaviness is lifting, the fog is clearing and I haven't cried like before. Well I cry but it's cathartic and relatively short-lived as opposed to almost continuous and exhausting before the meds. I also got Ambien for sleep and I only take half when I feel I need it. Your thoughts are normal, venting is absolutely a necessity and nobody here at least judges you. And I'm not a 24/7 caregiver, my mom is in an assisted living facility but I am the only child close by, she's almost 88 with dementia and getting closer to needing memory care by the day, so I deal with the stress of her crying as I leave each time. Do all you can to make your dad happy and comfortable, if he's unable to be that it's either due to his personality or his disease or both, it's not you. Guilt is unnecessary baggage on this trip and I was victim to its erosion, still am, only not as much. You are a good wife, mother, daughter and don't let anyone take that away. I lurk on this site mostly, have only posted a few times, but the support and love on this site is overwhelming. Hang in there, you've got lots of company.
Stormy, I agree with Bobbie n especially that u need a break n trust me I know it is hard to get help or even being able to afford someone. However, you really need the break to breath n enjoy your own life. I felt that way about my mom when I was taking care of her but not constantly under my eyesight. It takes a lot out of a person who goes out of their way to help take care of another. Not only physically but mentally as well. I too said prayers n made threats to move her but she was a very stubborn mother along with depression n alcoholism. She didn't have AD but she was a handful. Before I knew it while at work, I got a phone call that she passed. Then I felt guilty for years of the 'what if." What if I had done it this way, What if I should had said it this way, etc... I finally saw the light after talking to a counselor for ME for the first in my life I realize that, I could had not done anything different for she was going to do what she wanted to do no matter what. My mom was n her late 50's when she passed due to heart attack. It could had been a combination of mixing alcohol n medication? January 8th would had been her birthday. Now I am taking care of my husband's mom but 24/7 with AD so it more different yet more difficult for me sometimes. Those 4 little hrs of respite break that I get n coming here to VENT n learning from others n to know that, I am not alone, is what keeping me from going crazy! I always try to find one small thing as well to help me make it. n for some reason I cannot, I will come here n vent, vent, share, cry n vent some more.So Stormy, vent, vent, cry, share n vent some more if u need too. I hope u can get a peaceful rest tonight. You are in my prayers.
Bobbie, I hope u were not snoring during the movie? However, at least you got some zzz. Buying that boat was not such a nutty idea for it sounds like u can get some peace of mind sometimes. We can only do what we can for we r only human.
Stormy: For some reason I just feel you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. What you are feeling is perfectly ok!!!! It's normal to want to live your life, especially when you have a small child you want to focus on. For crying out loud, that child needs you. Even those of us who do not have children at home still want to have a life. What's the point of having one if you can't live it????? It's fine to share your life with others, but care taking is often not sharing. It's being responsible for the day to day care of another. It eventually consumes you mentally and completely restricts you physically.
In most cases, I think we are always left feeling like a failure. I feel like a failure and it eats at my heart. It sucks to feel like I didn't do all you could and it is impossible to come out of care giving feeling good even when you stayed with it to the very last breath. It changes you in ways I can't explain. You are so often left feeling lacking in spirit and heart. You grieve for the loss of those who depended on you and you grieve the loss of your ability to save and be saved.
Whatever you choose to do, you will have sadness. I don't think it can be escaped. I will always support you in all you feel and any steps you want to take to improve your life. Just know that you are in a no win situation and be kind to yourself. If you have a mind for God, take a few minutes and go to a quiet place where you can feel God's presence and pray. Ask for guidance, forgiveness, understanding and enlightenment.
You should probably start doing this ( or whatever works for you) earlier rather than later, as life is never a smooth ride. After your dad is gone, you will continue to be tossed about in life. It can't be any other way.
So we do our best. Having love, forgiveness and acceptance from those we expose our good and bad points too really helps.
Holy Smokes Treat! Now that explains what's in my junk mail. I was wondering where in the world did I sign up for THAT stuff!
lildeb, I go through all the what if scenerios still and try to stop myself but sometimes I get on a roll...
hey lucy, thanks for posting and thanks to treat too. I love it when the lurkers pop in here. Hope you make it regular. It's always good to see more crew on the boat.
lildeb I do think that I woke myself up with a snort in the movies. Thinking about taking another nap in a few days...
I don't know about peace of mind right now on this barge. The washing machine died and we found a matching pair off another boat on craigslist and we have had to take the trim off the companionway entrance to move the old dryer out. The boat angel is living up to his name, bless his crazy little heart.
I would have been doing laundry up the dock for the rest of my time on this boat because I just can't deal with this kind of thing but he just keeps going until it's done.
We'll put the new (to us) washer and dryer on tomorrow and I hope it is uneventful. What a back breaker.
Stormy I hope you'll get on and let us know how you feel.
I heard from Deef and she is still fighting the stomach bug. I don't know how she manages everything that she does. She is so talented and sweet and overworked and overstressed.
OK, got to take another spartan shower. Actually dreamed about a jacuzzi tub last night. Beats the socks off the nightmares!
I'll check in after the hosedown to see if Stormy posted.
love you guys way more than you'll ever know, lovbob
Oh boy, what an afternoon and evening with mom! I swear her mind is in another dimension from us. She talks, laughs, sings and all sorts of stuff all in her own world. The $hit hits the fan when she thinks there is danger in that world and she gets afraid of everyone. I often wonder what it's like inside her head. I'm going to head to bed since it's been a long day (as Mondays always are). I hope everyone can get a good night's rest and wake up feeling somewhat refreshed in the morning. Sweet Dreams
Stormy...We can't fix it, but we sure can understand it. Like bobbie says find any resources you need, care giving is the most draining and crazy making avocation, job, sentence, task, chore, choice, action that I have ever known or heard about! It is as stressful as psychology and police work, as labor intensive as crab fishing, has rewards similar to social work, sometimes yes, sometimes no, as opened ended for scheduling as parenting but with out the joy of little successes and growth patterns and more thank less even. You often get more help with parenting, who doesn't want to watch the baby. And then there is the added history your child just doesn't have of the resentment of once being in control of your life and needs, and their own, and very likely their awareness of this will be the last to go...No one, who hasn't done it has any clue.... Whether it is a beloved task for a parent or spouse or sibling or friend that you take on with all your heart to comfort, care for and ease anthers way or a chore you dread the very thought of daily and fear the increasing costs and needs for minute by minute, Care Giving is a tremendously heavy burden, that so often falls to just one or two people, and you have to plow through it the best you can and try and maintain your own health and sanity and well being in the process, and if you feel any little bit of assistance is needed seek it, and if you feel you can't do any more, give yourself some courtesy and kindness and where ever possible find others to take on the burden of care giving for both your own safety and mental health and for that of your charge...Trust me we have ALL been there or are there or will get there. Be easy on yourself. This was never going to be a light, short term, un complicated part of your life. Never....
Hmmn Church Porn?...And the pale but determined middle aged ladies who come and give their services to clean and beautify with flora the church and it's surrounds on Tuesdays and Fridays at once undressed and addressed their services to the attractive new young pastor in the assembly hall.....
Stormy, you are definitely not a horrible person. You are a person of incredible love and kindness. I understand how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I have been taking care of my Mother forever. Once my husband and I moved in with her, we knew our lives would be changed, but I couldn’t even imagine that it would be like this. In the last 10 months, my life has become consumed by taking care of Mom 24/7. My mother was a beautiful person, a loving wife and mother. Most days I now have to help her with the simplest tasks, telling her how to pick up a sandwich and take a bite or how to place her pill in her mouth and take a drink and then swallow it, not chew it. Everyday I grieve for my beautiful loving mother and my greatest fear is that when she does pass, I will for just one moment feel relief. I have never been a depressed person, but living with and caring for a person with dementia that has progressed into the mid to later stages is depressing. The simplest tasks are beyond her comprehension. I finally arranged to get a caregiver to come 3 times a week to bath Mother and give my husband and I one evening to have a night out together. That’s 12 hours a week. The rest of the time, I am with Mom. If I had not done this, I’m not sure how long I would have been able to maintain my sanity because even though most of the time Mom is still very loving and appreciative, sometimes she still wants to be the parent and knows what to do to push my buttons. I have the greatest admiration for the caregivers I have met through GO and other threads on AC. Those that are caring for abusive parents, those that are caring for more than 1 parent or grandparent, those that are still raising families, working and caring for parents or grandparents and all of the other caregivers on this site. I know that I am very grateful for a place to vent and learn from others that are in the same or similar situations. Good night everyone.
Bobbie, Mishka, Cat, Jen, Lil deb, Lucy, Dtflex, Barb- It is so wonderful to know that ya'll understand how I feel. I have no one else I can talk to about these feelings. I used to be able to talk to my sister about anything but this is something that she would not understand. She has a different relationship with our father. A better one. My brother and I feel the same towards dad. Although my sister does not know of my feelings of just wanting it to be over with. Our brother does not help anymore with dad. He rarely comes to visit anymore either. Once in awhile if we need him to carry dad to a drs appt he will do it. I envy him because he has just taken his self out of the whole situation. And I am mad at him for leaving it all up to me and sis. We have tried bringing in a lady to stay with dad and she was good, I mean she was just a sitter but in the end dad said he could stay by his self. I think sis was glad that we didn't have a outsider coming in the house. Why I don't know. She wants whatever dad wants. I feel like its two against one. Dad and sis against me. I know I bring alot of these feelings on myself. I let it eat away at me. This would be so much different if this was my mom I was caring for. My mom and I were so close. It would have been a honor to take care of her but I did not get that chance. Yet I don't know if my heart could have taken seeing her with the problems that dad has. I do know that things could be so much worse. And I am grateful that they are not. I see so many of you here that are dealing with dementia, alzheimer's disease and having to take care of two parents and I am in awe of all of you that are having to deal with such difficulties that come with those diseases. I don't know how you do it. Someone said that its the time of year that brings this on I think and they are right. In March it will be 3 years that we have been caring for dad. I always get depressed and feel hopeless around the time that all this started. I just wish I could just fast forwarded through to April. Dad will also be 80 years old in March. And I see where some of you are caring for parents that are close to 90 and I think My God is that going to be me. Is Connor going to be grown when I am still looking after dad. I just do not like even thinking that thought, let alone realizing that it could be a good chance. Hell, I never, ever, ever thought that this nightmare would be going on this long. And then I keep thinking about what am I going to do when Connor gets out of school for the summer. I do not want to have to carry him over there everyday throughout his summer vacation, but my sister will expect me to do so. Oh, hell she sees it as dad getting to see Connor. I see it as a f@#$ing nightmare for me and Connor. Excuse my french, but it is the truth! Before I had the daycare that kept Connor throughout the summer, now I don't have that. Ya'll if you think I am crazy now just wait until school gets out. I am not going to be able to take that everyday having to look after dad and keep Connor happy over there. Connor already does not want to go when we have to go, what am I going to do for 3 months when he is out of school. I am stressing already about it got to get off of that subject. Someone said something about taking antidepressants and I was taking them until I found out I had hypothyroidism and that it causes severe depression. Well, I figured that was why I was having the bad thoughts and feelings and that once I started on the thyroid meds that I would be in a better place with the depression. Wrong! So now I am wondering if I need to get back on them. I guess I will talk to my dr about it next time i see her. Ya'll I got to go Connor just woke up crying. Love ya'll all stormy. Thanks again.
Just a little information...Dr Phil's show today is about a brother and sister fighting about the care of their elderly parents (brother is mother's full time caregiver and daughter accused of taking parents money. Also talking about elder abuse in nursing homes. Barb
bam thank you for sharing that info about Dr. Phil it is something that is not talked about much and I think one reason because when people visit someone in the NH they see clean and well fed people sitting nicely in wheelchairs they do not see the other 23 hrs of their care.
Good Morning Crew. Ended up just too pooped to post last night. Cattails! you and I must have been writing at the same time last night! Great post. Stormy! So happy that you came on and read all the support for you and your situation.
Sorry to hear about Jam's husband. How very sad. Angels to her.
Glad to hear that Dr. Phil is starting to address this subject. Maybe there will be more help for caregivers as a result of more publicity.
I will check in later. The yard has me hopping today.
Did anyone else watch Dr. Phil? I was very disappointed in the show overall. I don't think it really did anything to protect elders or enlighten society about the care of elders.
So sorry to hear about Jam's husband. Stormy, I loved my husband dearly, and didn't want to lose him, but there were still times I just wanted it to end. He died from cancer over a year ago. Can you tell your sister you have to go back to work? And can't take care of your Dad every day? As I write that I realize I'm getting ready to quit my job, and take care of my Mother and Step Father. Mom fell New Year's eve, and couldn't walk for a week. She is finally getting around again with her walker.
Hi again all, I posted yesterday for the first time in a long time, having been "lurking" and getting good advice. My mom has jumped from a level one care assistance at her ALF to a level 3 in just one month give or take. The decline was so fast it surprised me even tho the only predicable thing about this disease is its unpredictability. They are talking memory care soon, as she doesn't get involved in activities at her place due to her hearing loss, her cognitive function (or lack of it really) and she basically sits in her room all day doing nothing but packing, crying and moving her things because "the man" is going to take all of it and make her move. It is so sad to see waht used to be my mom, and even tho I have siblings they are step siblings and in another state, basically leaving mom in her declining mental state and eventual death for me to take care of. It makes sense, I guess, as I am her only biological child and we do have a close bond. We did have her live with us for a year 2 years ago when she was relatively mild in her progression of dementia, then she moved back to Oregon for a year and my step brother took on the responsbility of her finances, doctors, visiting etc. Now she's back in Vegas with me and I'm responsible for the day to day she doesn't yet get at the facility, like making sure she's wearing her hearing aids (which I found in an empty kleenex box yesterday), or that they have batteries, a lens from her glasses fell out, she lost her partial dentures, clean her cat's litter box, make sure it has food. (I have to hide an extra bowl of food under mom's bed for the cat when mom can't figure out she has an automatic dry food bowl and she fills it with water thus making it a big inedible wet glob) It does feel sometimes like I've been left to "clean up the mess", but she's my mom and I love her and will do what I can. But like all of you, I feel resentful at times and then guilty for feeling resentful. It's a vicious circle that was smothering me at first, but with time you learn to put things into perspective hopefully. I just want to thank all of you for your warmth, and love, and support and good advice...and HUMOR! I lost my sense of humor for a long time, I think my wake up call was when my husbad told my daughter that I hardly talked to him anymore. I was shutting everybody out to spare them the venting of my angst...no relationship should suffer because you are caregiving and this site is a great outlet to vent and get some advice from someone else who is in the same boat...pun intended bobbie...lol. Thanks again, I will be checking every day from now on. My thoughts, prayers, hugs and thanks to all of you!!
Not sure if everyone knows but, Jam loss her husband. It is posted under "No one ever asked how the care.." Jam, again I am deeply sorry for you loss n wish I could be their for you.
Hi Everyone. I really don't know what to say, I have been gone so long. Life really does go fast sometimes and I also think I've needed to stay away to keep my depression from getting worse. Right now, seeing you all, I just want to cry. My life is having it's ups and downs. I think I still have PTSD from taking care of Mom and all of the shit that happened after. I just feel bad bad bad bad that I have not checked in. I'm so sorry. I have not read many posts. I am so impressed with my wonderful Bobbie that she has kept this thread going and is still here to help you all deal. I will try to get on more often. Love Yous, Miz.
Miz it is good to see you back and my heart breaks for you for all you have had to go through Bobbie continues to be our Captian. My mom passed away in Oct. at almost 94 years of age and I was the one who stayed in the hospital day and night for a week from the time I arrived at the hospital after the call from my sister that she was failing-even in her weakened state she gave me dagers but the night before the stroke that took her life two days later she actually said thank you to me after giving her a drink of water. She was frail but was able to go to my nephews wedding in LA the beginning of Oct-and was sharp as a pin and continued to say whatever she wanted to when she wanted to express herself.
I'm so sorry, Austin. I know what that is like to stay at the hospital with your mom almost 24/7. Bobbie got me through that time. I'm so glad your mom thanked you. I would like to think that it was for more than just the drink of water.
MIZ!!! WooHoo!! Hey there stuff! Glad to see you here Ms Miz. Life after caregiving can be brutal without the right support and a lot of support and I know that you had it rough.
You guys say the nicest things and I thank you.
Miz I hope you post for awhile and let us know some details of how everything is going in your life. We miss you!
Diane, I wonder if Lucy knows about boat time.....?
Lucy! Boat Time!
Austin! You have a sweet and generous heart and we all know you to be a loving person. I like what Miz said about your mom.
We are all delicate and fragile and yet we do our best even if it's not good enough for some, maybe it's all we have for that moment.
Glad to see you Stormy. Give some of that stuff a try and maybe it might take the edge off so you can make your escape plans better!!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?' The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
'What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the tent.'
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Thanks Mish for getting my sense of humor.
lovbob
I felt that way about my mom when I was taking care of her but not constantly under my eyesight. It takes a lot out of a person who goes out of their way to help take care of another. Not only physically but mentally as well. I too said prayers n made threats to move her but she was a very stubborn mother along with depression n alcoholism. She didn't have AD but she was a handful. Before I knew it while at work, I got a phone call that she passed. Then I felt guilty for years of the 'what if." What if I had done it this way, What if I should had said it this way, etc... I finally saw the light after talking to a counselor for ME for the first in my life I realize that, I could had not done anything different for she was going to do what she wanted to do no matter what. My mom was n her late 50's when she passed due to heart attack. It could had been a combination of mixing alcohol n medication? January 8th would had been her birthday.
Now I am taking care of my husband's mom but 24/7 with AD so it more different yet more difficult for me sometimes. Those 4 little hrs of respite break that I get n coming here to VENT n learning from others n to know that, I am not alone, is what keeping me from going crazy! I always try to find one small thing as well to help me make it. n for some reason I cannot, I will come here n vent, vent, share, cry n vent some more.So Stormy, vent, vent, cry, share n vent some more if u need too. I hope u can get a peaceful rest tonight. You are in my prayers.
Bobbie, I hope u were not snoring during the movie? However, at least you got some zzz. Buying that boat was not such a nutty idea for it sounds like u can get some peace of mind sometimes. We can only do what we can for we r only human.
Stormy: For some reason I just feel you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. What you are feeling is perfectly ok!!!! It's normal to want to live your life, especially when you have a small child you want to focus on. For crying out loud, that child needs you. Even those of us who do not have children at home still want to have a life. What's the point of having one if you can't live it????? It's fine to share your life with others, but care taking is often not sharing. It's being responsible for the day to day care of another. It eventually consumes you mentally and completely restricts you physically.
In most cases, I think we are always left feeling like a failure. I feel like a failure and it eats at my heart. It sucks to feel like I didn't do all you could and it is impossible to come out of care giving feeling good even when you stayed with it to the very last breath. It changes you in ways I can't explain. You are so often left feeling lacking in spirit and heart. You grieve for the loss of those who depended on you and you grieve the loss of your ability to save and be saved.
Whatever you choose to do, you will have sadness. I don't think it can be escaped. I will always support you in all you feel and any steps you want to take to improve your life. Just know that you are in a no win situation and be kind to yourself. If you have a mind for God, take a few minutes and go to a quiet place where you can feel God's presence and pray. Ask for guidance, forgiveness, understanding and enlightenment.
You should probably start doing this ( or whatever works for you) earlier rather than later, as life is never a smooth ride. After your dad is gone, you will continue to be tossed about in life. It can't be any other way.
So we do our best. Having love, forgiveness and acceptance from those we expose our good and bad points too really helps.
Hugs, Cat
lildeb, I go through all the what if scenerios still and try to stop myself but sometimes I get on a roll...
hey lucy, thanks for posting and thanks to treat too. I love it when the lurkers pop in here. Hope you make it regular. It's always good to see more crew on the boat.
lildeb I do think that I woke myself up with a snort in the movies. Thinking about taking another nap in a few days...
I don't know about peace of mind right now on this barge. The washing machine died and we found a matching pair off another boat on craigslist and we have had to take the trim off the companionway entrance to move the old dryer out.
The boat angel is living up to his name, bless his crazy little heart.
I would have been doing laundry up the dock for the rest of my time on this boat because I just can't deal with this kind of thing but he just keeps going until it's done.
We'll put the new (to us) washer and dryer on tomorrow and I hope it is uneventful. What a back breaker.
Stormy I hope you'll get on and let us know how you feel.
I heard from Deef and she is still fighting the stomach bug. I don't know how she manages everything that she does. She is so talented and sweet and overworked and overstressed.
OK, got to take another spartan shower. Actually dreamed about a jacuzzi tub last night. Beats the socks off the nightmares!
I'll check in after the hosedown to see if Stormy posted.
love you guys way more than you'll ever know,
lovbob
Hmmn Church Porn?...And the pale but determined middle aged ladies who come and give their services to clean and beautify with flora the church and it's surrounds on Tuesdays and Fridays at once undressed and addressed their services to the attractive new young pastor in the assembly hall.....
?
I have never been a depressed person, but living with and caring for a person with dementia that has progressed into the mid to later stages is depressing. The simplest tasks are beyond her comprehension. I finally arranged to get a caregiver to come 3 times a week to bath Mother and give my husband and I one evening to have a night out together. That’s 12 hours a week. The rest of the time, I am with Mom. If I had not done this, I’m not sure how long I would have been able to maintain my sanity because even though most of the time Mom is still very loving and appreciative, sometimes she still wants to be the parent and knows what to do to push my buttons.
I have the greatest admiration for the caregivers I have met through GO and other threads on AC. Those that are caring for abusive parents, those that are caring for more than 1 parent or grandparent, those that are still raising families, working and caring for parents or grandparents and all of the other caregivers on this site. I know that I am very grateful for a place to vent and learn from others that are in the same or similar situations.
Good night everyone.
Barb
We have tried bringing in a lady to stay with dad and she was good, I mean she was just a sitter but in the end dad said he could stay by his self. I think sis was glad that we didn't have a outsider coming in the house. Why I don't know. She wants whatever dad wants. I feel like its two against one. Dad and sis against me.
I know I bring alot of these feelings on myself. I let it eat away at me. This would be so much different if this was my mom I was caring for. My mom and I were so close. It would have been a honor to take care of her but I did not get that chance. Yet I don't know if my heart could have taken seeing her with the problems that dad has. I do know that things could be so much worse. And I am grateful that they are not. I see so many of you here that are dealing with dementia, alzheimer's disease and having to take care of two parents and I am in awe of all of you that are having to deal with such difficulties that come with those diseases. I don't know how you do it. Someone said that its the time of year that brings this on I think and they are right. In March it will be 3 years that we have been caring for dad. I always get depressed and feel hopeless around the time that all this started. I just wish I could just fast forwarded through to April. Dad will also be 80 years old in March. And I see where some of you are caring for parents that are close to 90 and I think My God is that going to be me. Is Connor going to be grown when I am still looking after dad. I just do not like even thinking that thought, let alone realizing that it could be a good chance. Hell, I never, ever, ever thought that this nightmare would be going on this long. And then I keep thinking about what am I going to do when Connor gets out of school for the summer. I do not want to have to carry him over there everyday throughout his summer vacation, but my sister will expect me to do so. Oh, hell she sees it as dad getting to see Connor. I see it as a f@#$ing nightmare for me and Connor. Excuse my french, but it is the truth! Before I had the daycare that kept Connor throughout the summer, now I don't have that. Ya'll if you think I am crazy now just wait until school gets out. I am not going to be able to take that everyday having to look after dad and keep Connor happy over there. Connor already does not want to go when we have to go, what am I going to do for 3 months when he is out of school. I am stressing already about it got to get off of that subject.
Someone said something about taking antidepressants and I was taking them until I found out I had hypothyroidism and that it causes severe depression. Well, I figured that was why I was having the bad thoughts and feelings and that once I started on the thyroid meds that I would be in a better place with the depression. Wrong! So now I am wondering if I need to get back on them. I guess I will talk to my dr about it next time i see her. Ya'll I got to go Connor just woke up crying. Love ya'll all stormy. Thanks again.
Thanks for letting us know about Target, Ladee. Keep us update on Jam. Love, Stormy.
Barb
Ended up just too pooped to post last night.
Cattails! you and I must have been writing at the same time last night! Great post.
Stormy! So happy that you came on and read all the support for you and your situation.
Sorry to hear about Jam's husband. How very sad. Angels to her.
Glad to hear that Dr. Phil is starting to address this subject. Maybe there will be more help for caregivers as a result of more publicity.
I will check in later. The yard has me hopping today.
lovbob
Stormy, I loved my husband dearly, and didn't want to lose him, but there were still times I just wanted it to end. He died from cancer over a year ago. Can you tell your sister you have to go back to work? And can't take care of your Dad every day? As I write that I realize I'm getting ready to quit my job, and take care of my Mother and Step Father. Mom fell New Year's eve, and couldn't walk for a week. She is finally getting around again with her walker.
Jam, again I am deeply sorry for you loss n wish I could be their for you.
WooHoo!! Hey there stuff!
Glad to see you here Ms Miz.
Life after caregiving can be brutal without the right support and a lot of support and I know that you had it rough.
You guys say the nicest things and I thank you.
Miz I hope you post for awhile and let us know some details of how everything is going in your life. We miss you!
Diane, I wonder if Lucy knows about boat time.....?
Lucy! Boat Time!
Austin! You have a sweet and generous heart and we all know you to be a loving person. I like what Miz said about your mom.
We are all delicate and fragile and yet we do our best even if it's not good enough for some, maybe it's all we have for that moment.
Glad to see you Stormy. Give some of that stuff a try and maybe it might take the edge off so you can make your escape plans better!!
love all you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
My wife hosted a dinner party for the family, and everyone was
encouraged to bring all their children as well.
All through dinner my four-year-old niece stared at me sitting across
from her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.
I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, patted my hair in
place but, nothing stopped her from staring at me.
I tried my best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for me.
I finally asked her "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went
quiet for her response.
My little niece said "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a fish."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?' The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
'What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the tent.'
luvCuz
luvCuz