Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Thanks Bobbie-Hoping that the Nemenda does something! But no tummy troubles! Glad it starts with a low dose and works its way up. Mom is soooo sensitive to meds! Fingers crossed! Lildeb-times were so different way back then-they swept things under the rug...or didn't believe...very sad but thankfully different now. In fact-maybe they are too quick to judge now and people are guilty and have to proove their innocense! Which is impossible-even when a woman retracts her accusation of molestation or rape-I always wonder if she was pressured in some way or is denying it herself. There are evil people out there and unfortunately-even in our own families.... Life can suck at times! Mom is up early and happy today. She seems "with it" but she does fake it well sometimes! We will see how the day progresses. I had a thought. Maybe I have mentioned this before but I feel it keeps evolving in me and maybe this time I have it right! I keep thinking that God wants me to learn something from all of this. I am the type of person who is always wanting to finish up something and move on to the next thing. I know I miss out on a lot rushing through like that, but it is just how I am. I have read some books on a couple actors and something they both said made me think. They said that "you can't play to the end" meaning, if they know how a movie is going to end-they have to play it out as if they don't...or it will ruin the movie for the audience. Michael J Fox says it about his Parkinsons disease. He knows the outcome usually-but what is in between? He can't just lay down and wait to die. So, knowing that my mom is old and sickly and is going to die (someday) I keep playing to the end...waiting for "it" to happen and even wanting to get it overwith and move on to the the next thing. So, my prayer is that I can stop playing it to the end and just live everyday with her and enjoy the moments we can. I don't want to wish her life away as dull and painful as it can be for her...and I don't want to wish my life away... So, this is my new gameplan... Don't play to the end...take everyday as it comes and try to love and enjoy what I can. I am on day 2 of this and I keep catching myself falling back into the old thoughts but I just keep telling myself, "Don't play to the end " whenever I do. I know when I am really tired this is going to be hard. But maybe I can make it my first thought and not something I have to scrounge around for-and then when I am tired-it will still be there and come out when I most need it! So, that is where I am today. Hello to everyone-keep on keepin on! Mame
OH-and Austin, Mom was only there for rehab for 3 weeks when all that happened. I actually got her out of their earlier than expected cause I told them I could take better care of her than them! It was a fight but I won. The physical therapist was definitely on my side when I told her about how they treated her on the unit...and I promised I had help at home (lie) and that I would have Visiting Nurses continue the therapy-which did happen and they were wonderful. I know the nurses have a lot of ppl to take care of but come on! My mom will not be going to that NH for anything again! :)
Mom got up in a better mood than yesterday! Guess all that sugar is out of her system. Had to walk away 3 times while trying to get her to eat pancakes for breakfast. She acted like an octopus with 8 arms, trying to reach, touch, grab at anything while I was trying to get her to open her mouth. I was getting too frustrated, so I left her for a few minutes and changed into clothes to take her to daycare. When I got back she acted like I was never there trying to feed her, and opened her mouth for a few bites. Then the hands started again and the mouth was clamped shut!! Went and got my coat and started the car. Came back and got her to eat a few more bites, then off to daycare. So much better and more awake than yesterday! I tried to reorder a refill for her PD meds and they said the script had expired!!! It was dated mid Feb. of last year, but I guess because it's a 90 day, it was expired. I have a week of pills left, so now I have to call the doctor to phone in a 30 day supply to the local pharmacy, to cover until the mail order can be filled. So tired of keeping track of all her meds and mine! Jen, Yogi, Lildeb, I'm so sorry you all have those awful memories to carry around! You are all fantastic women and survivors of a terrible thing! I find it so amazing that you are all here to help others with your words. Thank you all! Jen, yes, bacteria loves sugar!!! Learned this after many yeast infections. Any kind of bacteria feeds on sugar and gets so much worse. I think that is why Mom was so good on X-mas day when she had her last UTI. The Cipro was working, but then Merry kept feeding her all the leftover desserts to fatten her up, and she went off the wall and needed another stronger antibiotic! Going shopping for alternatives to sugary foods for Mom. Lildeb, 78!!! I want some of that! All my joints are aching from the bitter cold we had for a week. Suppose to hit 50 here sometime this week. Had to scrape my car windows this morning. My husband does not drink, but he doesn't do anything else either! I'm like you, trying to keep everything together around here and tired of doing it all alone! Good news is his 102 year ild dad called him yesterday and said he had something for him. He came home with a huge check!! I almost passed out, but was so grateful!!! I am swimming in bills and was so worried about how I was going to pay them. I guess he had bands from years ago and cashed them in because they had reach maturity. So he gave a check to my husband and my sil after cashing them in. Told my husband to pay off his damn car loan that has 7 payments left. That will save us a $300 payment every month! I was thinking of trying to get a part time job to help out, but maybe now I can hold off until I can start collecting SS in August. Barb, Mom likes to pull her drink from my hand and it goes flying everywhere! Last night I tried to let her feed pieces of pizza to herself. Went to the kitchen to get her a drink and heard the plate hit the rug. She had shoved it off her tray onto the floor and had both hands full of pizza! What a mess! If you get a camera for your mom's bedroom, get an infrared one so you can see everything in the dark at night. Mom is best in total darkness, so the infrared in her bedroom works great. I have a regular one in the kitchen and TV room. I can see everything on my laptop. They also have microphones so I can hear her too. They have been a lifesaver for over 4 years now. Baby monitors were useless as I always had to go see what I was actually hearing Mame, Yeah! on the namanda. I have said this many times, don't let the doctor tell you a person is too far gone for memory meds to help! It's always worth trying. I'm sure they started your mom on a low dose to be safe. Mom is taking 10 mgs twice a day. One in the AM and 1 before bed along with Aricept. She is absolutely lost without them! So glad you got outside for a walk! Sometimes I go outside at night and just stare up at the stars and breathe! It works when I am really frustrated, which is a lot lately! My help for tomorrow will not be coming. she has terrible back and hip pain and is going for an MRI. So I will be alone all day with Mom. Should be stark raving mad by the end of the day!!! I need to start laundry and get to the store for Mom supplies. Hope everyone has a good day!
There are a lot of pills that can not be crushed -it changes the way they act-if a pill has aline down it-it can be broken in half -it not do not cut it in half-ask a pharmasist before crushing the pill and the nurses should do everything they can to get a pt. to take their meds but there are times nothing helps. I was with my mother when she died but unfortunatly I was reading because the meds to relax her with her rapid breathing did not have time to work so I was not watching her at that point when I looked at her she had passed-I feel terrible that I did not know the minuet she passed-I expected her to last a few hrs. and when my husband died I was in the room but he had been rejecting me anyway-not responding as he did to others.
Hi Crew, Just stopping in for a quick hello. Mom has been very aggitated and afraid the last few days. She has a new caregiver this morning so she didn't want me to leave her. I've finally found an activity that mom will let me do and it can use up this ton of fabric. I am making pillowcases for the Conkerr Cancer organization. They give festive pillowcases to kids in the hospital with cancer. I'm also looking into Dress a Girl Around the World. The fabric that is too small for these projects I will try make some scrap quilts. I so desperately need a creative outlet. Sounds like everyone has their hands full with caregiving responsibilities. I understand when someone siad they feel like they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. It's never ending!! Keeping up with all these freakin drugs and what we can afford is driving me nuts too. The meds covered by hospice are refilled every two weeks. The meds they don't cover are the expensive ones even with medicare part D. I have stopped taking some of my meds like nasonex and claritin because I just can't keep up with it financially. I make sure and stay on top of my antidepressants and BP med. Betweem mom being up most of the night and my back hurting I'm not too perky today. My brother came by to visit mom for a whopping 15 minutes. I guess I shouldn't complain since he at least visited her. I text my sister lastnight to tell her that the nurse confirmed mom is in the last stage of alz/dementia. She called my brother to say she would try visit mom the end of February. Let me get going. Have as good a day possible everyone. Those of you in cold weather, stay warm. For those of you with pleasant temps, enjoy the day.
Deef-GREAT news about the money! What a relief! So happy for you. The Nemenda comes in a "titration pak" which starts the patient out the first week on 5mgs. The second week 5mgs morning 5mgs evening....the 3rd week they go up to 10mgs am/5mgs pm then 4th week 10mgs am/10mgs pm. I am glad cause mom is so sensative to drugs so starting out slow is the way to go! She must not be the only one! Good luck tomorrow without your help!
Austin-yea, I have to always ask the pharmacist if pills can be crushed...mom chews them if I don't tho...yuck! Or spits them out if they taste bad! I had told you guys last summer about my cousin Jane who got diagnosed with cancer and died very quickly...well, our other cousin from Arizona came and was with Jane when she died-and she felt terrible cause she was rearrianging the cards Jane had received (at the Hospice house) that they had on a bulliten board in her room. The nurse came in and said-"How long has she not been breathing?" And my cousin couldn't believe it! She was so shocked and sorry she wasn't there right next to the bed... altho she was very near it! and nothing gave her any indication that Jane had gone! I guess you just never know-try as you might! Know that you were there for them when they were alive and needed you!
Flex-glad your bro stopped in-even if just for a few min. Hope the sister makes her appearance! I try so hard to make sure every time mom gets on a new med or new amount of insulin to remember to update her "File of Life" form that hangs on the frig for if an ambulance ever comes. Everything is right there on it-saves a lot of questions. I swear I have to update it alllll the time!!! The last time the ambulance came, the driver gave me several of the forms so I don't have to keep whiting out what I have previously written! My sister says she would never be able to keep up with mom's meds... I think she would if she did it day in and day out... But it is work! Hope you back gets to feeling better Flex! Mame
Hi All, haven't been on lately. With my daughter and grandbaby having moved in a few months ago (she has no transportation, no job ergo no money) taking her places, helping watch the baby, visiting mom and bringing her supplies and working full time I haven't had a chance to get on here. Mom is moving ever closer to memory care. She informed one of the caregivers at the ALF when they were taking her back to her room that "there wasn't room for her in there because of all the people in there". She's hallucinating and scared. She is on the edge where AL is not quite enough, technically I guess it is as they have moved her to a level 3 instead of 1 which means they check on her a lot more often etc., but in reality wit her lack of cognition she has nothing to do all day. Memory care would at least give her activities geared to her level but the rooommate situation and the "lockdown" aspect would probably upset her. She's going to be upset about something, at least this way she hopefully wouldn't be scared. And I want to get her on Namenda, but she just ran out of her own money and has an application in for Medicaid at present. Does Medicaid cover Namenda? She needs something, she had tried Aricept in the past and it gave her horrible nausea and vomiting so they discontinued. I've read that Namenda is almost always given in conjunction with Aricept as joint therapy and it works better that way. Anyone have experience with Namenda alone? Anyway, just wanted to say a collective hello to all. Hope you're all hanging in there and keeping your sense of humor.
lildeb! that was awful, having that happen to you. Thanks for writing it out. What an amazing group of women.
lucy, it's great to see you and wow, what a full plate.
Yes you can use Namenda alone and don't take no for an answer. My mom was on Namenda for a long time before we started Aricept. Her first doctor wasn't proactive at all so I changed to someone who got it.
Hope you keep posting lucy.
DEEF! $$!! huzza!!! If you talk to Rip tell her I said hi! Rip!!
Austin, good advice. Hope you're not going to freeze your patooties off. You too Cuz! Nice picture of the ice/house!
Flex there are so many places that need donations -I have a list somewhere off the top of my head is the Lines project-will try to find my list I got from my craft group Birthright which suports women who want to have and keep the baby instead of aboration or giving the baby up for adopation-even where you live there might be places to donate handmade items-my sanity projects are laperobes shawls and baby blankets-if you can knit hats for the hospital nursery-or laperobes for nursing homes.
Mom was a mess again today when I picked her up at daycare. Hanging her head back off the chair and feet straight out. Eyes closed tight and just hanging off the chair. By the time we got her coat on and headed for the door, she heard someone say goodbye and peeked her eyes open just enough to see who it was. Then she waved goodbye!!! I'm finding she is pouting like a kid and closes her eyes when she doesn't want to play anymore. Once I got her outside into the cold, she perked right up. I think she gets too hot in there! You know, all old people are cold, so goose the heat way up!!! I've told them before to take her sweater off if she seems too hot, but they don't always think of it. She was roasting!. She was fine when we got home, but I put her to bed for a rest anyway. She got up fine and had a good dinner and went to bed without to much fanfare. Do any of you remember the 1965 song recorded by the Animals called "We Got to Get Out of This Place" if it's the last thing we ever do? It was sung by soldiers in Viet Nam a LOT!! My coworker used to break out singing that song when we were having a bad day. I say we make it the Care Givers official song!!! I'm packing my bags tonight and heading out to the other side of the galaxy at 6 AM sharp! Who's joining me?
I'm lurking, and keeping up with reading all the posts. Have to work rest of the week, better get to bed early. Our warm weather is gone, 28 degrees and the wind is blowing 50 mph (gusts up to 70 mph). Put blankets on my 2 old horses tonight. They don't like to be shut in a stall, but the barn door is open.
Just thought I would stop by a minute before I get Mom ready to go out for lunch. The temperature is in the 50's today, but headed downwards pretty rapidly. I thought I would get Mom out since she has been stuck in the house for over a week. We will meet Mom's brother and his daughter. Mom really looks forward to these outings. She never says very much but she is happy to be there. Deef, I have to tell you, I love the song "we gotta get out of this place," The first cassette tape I ever bought was by the Animals and had that song on it. It is so appropriate for our group. Hope everyone is doing well. Will try to check in later. Hugs to all, Barb
G'mornin! I am sooo tired today. Been working my butt off catching up from all I didn't do last week when sick. Mom is sleeping late today. Sipping my tea...ahhhh.
VERY windy here in CNY. Possible high of 60 today! woohoo! Then, rain and temp dropping like a bomb and then-lake effect snow off Lake Ontario! Should be good for the skiers this weekend!
We gotta get out of this place! I vote yes! for it to be our official song Deef!!
Ha! Although the last post was 10 hours ago-I just got the email that there was a new comment on this thread! A little lag going on here I'd say.
Mentally feeling good this week-hoping it will last. Happy hump day! Mame
Hey ya'll I am checking in. I tried to post the other day and it got lost. And it pissed me off so I haven't tried again until now. So I am sending this short message to see if it will go. Hugs stormy
Ok I am sorry I have been MIA. Just getting over the bronchitis a few days ago, now Connor woke up coughing (sounded terrible) this morning. I took him to the dr and he has a touch of bronchitis is what the dr says. He said that it is going around bad. I kept Connor out of school today and I guess I will send him tomorrow to school. He is just coughing some no temperature and really he seems fine but that cough sounded awful this morning. I am going to send this to make sure it goes too. Hugs stormy
CALLING ALL CAREGIVER'S WITH KNOWLEDGE OF ALZHEIMER'S OR DEMENTIA OR ANYBODY ELSE WITH KNOWLEDGE OF BRAIN PROBLEMS!!! Ok let me start back 5 years ago before my dad got sick with the thyroid tumor. Five years ago my dad was still working at our family grocery business, he was working 50 to 60 hours a week. My neice (my brother's middle child) was working up there also. Well, she came up one day saying that papa was saying dirty things to her and that he had showed her his penis. And that he made her touch him. Ok, now she tells me and sis and we are thinking "WHAT THE F***". Now, my dad has NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS, EVER. So me and sis just knew that something was going on with his brain because we knew that was NOT like our dad. My sis talked to dad and told him that he could not be saying and doing things like that with his granddaughter. He just said ok. Next 3 months later we find out that dad has a blockage in a vein or veins going to his heart. He has the surgery to fix it. During this time my neice stays away for two years and does not see dad. Well, she recently started working at the store again. And yesterday I was working up there with her and she told me that she went up to dads one day after I had left to go get connor from school. She was going up there to get dads truck keys to get his truck to get a load of bottle drinks. She said that while she was sitting in the chair next to dads chair that he unzipped his pants and pulled out his thing. And was talking dirty to her again and she said that she froze. She said that she kept telling him that she had to go and that she needed the truck keys which were in his pants pocket. Finally he goes in his pocket and pulls out the keys and she is holding her hand out to get the keys and he graps her and pulls her down on him forcifully. She said that he was not letting her go but she finally told him that she would come back and she said that he let her go then but he said, "No you won't". Now sis and I do not understand what is going on with him. He has never tried anything like this with sis or I. Just this one granddaughter. Please if anyone knows of what could be going on with him let me know. This last time happened around Christmas which was like a month in a half ago. What could be going on with him??? Oh and the topper is this granddaughter is a lesbian always has been and she dresses like a boy. Big t shirts, baggy long shorts, no makeup, hair tied in a bun. Any ideas or advice, please. Love and hugs stormy.
Stormy, that is very strange. I think if your is dad behaving this way because of dementia he would be making inappropriate comments and actions to more than just your niece. I hope someone else can give you some answers.
It is not uncommon but you should seek some help about it, acting out sexually does happen with older people, and if it was never a part of their lives before, it can be related to the brain disorders as you mentioned. Talk to a professional about it like his doctor or a nurse... Lots pf age related services around depending on city size.
Stormy, I think both Diane and Jen are right! Talk to his doctors and see what they can tell you. Sorry you have to go through this now! What next? Had Mom by myself all day. She was pretty good for the most part. Kept the sugar intake down, which wasn't too hard as she didn't cooperate very much at meals. She was very agitated before and after lunch, so I asked if she needed to go to the bathroom and she said yes. I got her on the pot and she kept getting distracted and trying to get up. Finally I just said your done playing, let's get your pants up and try later. Well. that was a big mistake!! I didn't know she had dropped this humongous bomb in the toilet and another on the seat as I got her up!! She sat back down on it and I spent the next 15 minutes cleaning us both up!!! Needless to say, she felt better the rest of the day! Such fun!! It was 55 today so I opened windows and the cats went wild! It felt good to let the fresh air through the house. Looks like some of you are getting or had bad storms today. Hope everyone is okay.
Diane, Jen and Deef- I am trying to think back to five years ago and some other things did happen, not in the sexual sense. Dad was forgetting things. Like he left his truck running one day at work, then he left a pot on the stove burning, he left the water running in the kitchen sink. Things like that and sis said that at Christmas 5 years ago he looked like he might be talking a little too long to some of the females or maybe being a little too friendly. I don't know. But since he has had the stents put in he hasn't had anymore of those instances of leaving things running. Just this thing with the neice. It really has sis and I puzzled. And I know sis will not say anything to a dr. because she doesn't want to embarass him. I am just wondering if it could be coming from his thyroid level (tsh) or maybe his heart again. Dad was first diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and then they took out his thyroid gland cause of the tumor, so now he has hypothyroidism. I was just wondering if it is the start of some dementia or alzheimer's what were the most earliest signs or symptoms that ya'll saw??? Thanks ya'll for the advice. I will talk to sis about him going to a dr or maybe just talking to the doctor and see what she says. But I know her and unless it happens again with someone else she is going to leave it alone. We don't have to worry about the neice going up there anymore I think she is done with him and that is sad cause she use to really look up to him and respect him as her papa. Hugs Stormy
I agree stormy ask the doc about it, the fact the stents altered the other forgetful, odd behaviors is telling, there can be sexual acting out in the elderly but it is good the verify if possible where it is coming from...as well as where it is going?....
Lucy, can they give your mom something to help with the hallucinations so she won't be so scared? You sure got your hands full with helping your daughter, grnbaby n mom too. I hope u can find time to breath for yourself soon. Sending you warm cyber hug. Take care of yourself.
For me, it's my mother's false teeth that gross me out. I'm gagging just thinking about them. Cleaning them is absolute hell! The way they feel (through gloves!)...the weight...ugh! Can't deal! :)
I understand about the nasty false teeth. Work for a dentist, and would rather help him pull a tooth, than handle some of those dentures. Have gotten so I don't gag anymore. Hate to admit this, but started a 2nd job. Need the money, and staying busy is good for me.
Hey Jen- I have read that parkinson's disease or people with it can display unusual sexual behaviors. Dad has not been diagnosed with PD, but his brother has it and there were times a couple of months ago that his head was shaking and his hands. And also hypothyroidism- they say can cause people to act strangely if the levels are off and he has hypothyroidism. He is suppose to have his levels checked some time soon. I just can't help wondering if it is a disease that would cause this to happen or if he is turning into a dirty old man. He better never try some s%$# like that with me. Love and Hugs stormy
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Lildeb-times were so different way back then-they swept things under the rug...or didn't believe...very sad but thankfully different now. In fact-maybe they are too quick to judge now and people are guilty and have to proove their innocense! Which is impossible-even when a woman retracts her accusation of molestation or rape-I always wonder if she was pressured in some way or is denying it herself. There are evil people out there and unfortunately-even in our own families.... Life can suck at times!
Mom is up early and happy today. She seems "with it" but she does fake it well sometimes! We will see how the day progresses.
I had a thought. Maybe I have mentioned this before but I feel it keeps evolving in me and maybe this time I have it right! I keep thinking that God wants me to learn something from all of this. I am the type of person who is always wanting to finish up something and move on to the next thing. I know I miss out on a lot rushing through like that, but it is just how I am. I have read some books on a couple actors and something they both said made me think. They said that "you can't play to the end" meaning, if they know how a movie is going to end-they have to play it out as if they don't...or it will ruin the movie for the audience. Michael J Fox says it about his Parkinsons disease. He knows the outcome usually-but what is in between? He can't just lay down and wait to die. So, knowing that my mom is old and sickly and is going to die (someday) I keep playing to the end...waiting for "it" to happen and even wanting to get it overwith and move on to the the next thing. So, my prayer is that I can stop playing it to the end and just live everyday with her and enjoy the moments we can. I don't want to wish her life away as dull and painful as it can be for her...and I don't want to wish my life away... So, this is my new gameplan... Don't play to the end...take everyday as it comes and try to love and enjoy what I can. I am on day 2 of this and I keep catching myself falling back into the old thoughts but I just keep telling myself, "Don't play to the end " whenever I do. I know when I am really tired this is going to be hard. But maybe I can make it my first thought and not something I have to scrounge around for-and then when I am tired-it will still be there and come out when I most need it! So, that is where I am today.
Hello to everyone-keep on keepin on! Mame
I tried to reorder a refill for her PD meds and they said the script had expired!!! It was dated mid Feb. of last year, but I guess because it's a 90 day, it was expired. I have a week of pills left, so now I have to call the doctor to phone in a 30 day supply to the local pharmacy, to cover until the mail order can be filled. So tired of keeping track of all her meds and mine!
Jen, Yogi, Lildeb, I'm so sorry you all have those awful memories to carry around! You are all fantastic women and survivors of a terrible thing! I find it so amazing that you are all here to help others with your words. Thank you all!
Jen, yes, bacteria loves sugar!!! Learned this after many yeast infections. Any kind of bacteria feeds on sugar and gets so much worse. I think that is why Mom was so good on X-mas day when she had her last UTI. The Cipro was working, but then Merry kept feeding her all the leftover desserts to fatten her up, and she went off the wall and needed another stronger antibiotic! Going shopping for alternatives to sugary foods for Mom.
Lildeb, 78!!! I want some of that! All my joints are aching from the bitter cold we had for a week. Suppose to hit 50 here sometime this week. Had to scrape my car windows this morning. My husband does not drink, but he doesn't do anything else either! I'm like you, trying to keep everything together around here and tired of doing it all alone! Good news is his 102 year ild dad called him yesterday and said he had something for him. He came home with a huge check!! I almost passed out, but was so grateful!!! I am swimming in bills and was so worried about how I was going to pay them. I guess he had bands from years ago and cashed them in because they had reach maturity. So he gave a check to my husband and my sil after cashing them in. Told my husband to pay off his damn car loan that has 7 payments left. That will save us a $300 payment every month! I was thinking of trying to get a part time job to help out, but maybe now I can hold off until I can start collecting SS in August.
Barb, Mom likes to pull her drink from my hand and it goes flying everywhere! Last night I tried to let her feed pieces of pizza to herself. Went to the kitchen to get her a drink and heard the plate hit the rug. She had shoved it off her tray onto the floor and had both hands full of pizza! What a mess! If you get a camera for your mom's bedroom, get an infrared one so you can see everything in the dark at night. Mom is best in total darkness, so the infrared in her bedroom works great. I have a regular one in the kitchen and TV room. I can see everything on my laptop. They also have microphones so I can hear her too. They have been a lifesaver for over 4 years now. Baby monitors were useless as I always had to go see what I was actually hearing
Mame, Yeah! on the namanda. I have said this many times, don't let the doctor tell you a person is too far gone for memory meds to help! It's always worth trying. I'm sure they started your mom on a low dose to be safe. Mom is taking 10 mgs twice a day. One in the AM and 1 before bed along with Aricept. She is absolutely lost without them! So glad you got outside for a walk! Sometimes I go outside at night and just stare up at the stars and breathe! It works when I am really frustrated, which is a lot lately! My help for tomorrow will not be coming. she has terrible back and hip pain and is going for an MRI. So I will be alone all day with Mom. Should be stark raving mad by the end of the day!!! I need to start laundry and get to the store for Mom supplies.
Hope everyone has a good day!
Just stopping in for a quick hello. Mom has been very aggitated and afraid the last few days. She has a new caregiver this morning so she didn't want me to leave her.
I've finally found an activity that mom will let me do and it can use up this ton of fabric. I am making pillowcases for the Conkerr Cancer organization. They give festive pillowcases to kids in the hospital with cancer. I'm also looking into Dress a Girl Around the World. The fabric that is too small for these projects I will try make some scrap quilts. I so desperately need a creative outlet.
Sounds like everyone has their hands full with caregiving responsibilities. I understand when someone siad they feel like they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. It's never ending!! Keeping up with all these freakin drugs and what we can afford is driving me nuts too. The meds covered by hospice are refilled every two weeks. The meds they don't cover are the expensive ones even with medicare part D. I have stopped taking some of my meds like nasonex and claritin because I just can't keep up with it financially. I make sure and stay on top of my antidepressants and BP med.
Betweem mom being up most of the night and my back hurting I'm not too perky today. My brother came by to visit mom for a whopping 15 minutes. I guess I shouldn't complain since he at least visited her. I text my sister lastnight to tell her that the nurse confirmed mom is in the last stage of alz/dementia. She called my brother to say she would try visit mom the end of February.
Let me get going. Have as good a day possible everyone. Those of you in cold weather, stay warm. For those of you with pleasant temps, enjoy the day.
Love ya,
Diane
Austin-yea, I have to always ask the pharmacist if pills can be crushed...mom chews them if I don't tho...yuck! Or spits them out if they taste bad!
I had told you guys last summer about my cousin Jane who got diagnosed with cancer and died very quickly...well, our other cousin from Arizona came and was with Jane when she died-and she felt terrible cause she was rearrianging the cards Jane had received (at the Hospice house) that they had on a bulliten board in her room. The nurse came in and said-"How long has she not been breathing?" And my cousin couldn't believe it! She was so shocked and sorry she wasn't there right next to the bed... altho she was very near it! and nothing gave her any indication that Jane had gone! I guess you just never know-try as you might! Know that you were there for them when they were alive and needed you!
Flex-glad your bro stopped in-even if just for a few min. Hope the sister makes her appearance! I try so hard to make sure every time mom gets on a new med or new amount of insulin to remember to update her "File of Life" form that hangs on the frig for if an ambulance ever comes. Everything is right there on it-saves a lot of questions. I swear I have to update it alllll the time!!! The last time the ambulance came, the driver gave me several of the forms so I don't have to keep whiting out what I have previously written! My sister says she would never be able to keep up with mom's meds... I think she would if she did it day in and day out... But it is work! Hope you back gets to feeling better Flex! Mame
lildeb! that was awful, having that happen to you. Thanks for writing it out. What an amazing group of women.
lucy, it's great to see you and wow, what a full plate.
Yes you can use Namenda alone and don't take no for an answer. My mom was on Namenda for a long time before we started Aricept. Her first doctor wasn't proactive at all so I changed to someone who got it.
Hope you keep posting lucy.
DEEF! $$!! huzza!!!
If you talk to Rip tell her I said hi! Rip!!
Austin, good advice. Hope you're not going to freeze your patooties off.
You too Cuz! Nice picture of the ice/house!
Flex! Mame!! Stormy, Cat, where's judy?, Barb!, Meanwhile!! Jen! Frazzled what's going on?
Everybody!
love you guys,
lovbob
Do any of you remember the 1965 song recorded by the Animals called "We Got to Get Out of This Place" if it's the last thing we ever do? It was sung by soldiers in Viet Nam a LOT!! My coworker used to break out singing that song when we were having a bad day. I say we make it the Care Givers official song!!!
I'm packing my bags tonight and heading out to the other side of the galaxy at 6 AM sharp! Who's joining me?
Lil very sorry to hear you too are in the club eh. When do these people ever stop. Just Stop and not ruin someone elses life!
Great about the cash influx deef.
"we gotta get out of this place" know it, live it...
getting hammered with snow again...
Jen
Deef, I have to tell you, I love the song "we gotta get out of this place," The first cassette tape I ever bought was by the Animals and had that song on it. It is so appropriate for our group.
Hope everyone is doing well. Will try to check in later.
Hugs to all,
Barb
VERY windy here in CNY. Possible high of 60 today! woohoo! Then, rain and temp dropping like a bomb and then-lake effect snow off Lake Ontario! Should be good for the skiers this weekend!
We gotta get out of this place! I vote yes! for it to be our official song Deef!!
Ha! Although the last post was 10 hours ago-I just got the email that there was a new comment on this thread! A little lag going on here I'd say.
Mentally feeling good this week-hoping it will last. Happy hump day! Mame
Ok let me start back 5 years ago before my dad got sick with the thyroid tumor. Five years ago my dad was still working at our family grocery business, he was working 50 to 60 hours a week. My neice (my brother's middle child) was working up there also. Well, she came up one day saying that papa was saying dirty things to her and that he had showed her his penis. And that he made her touch him. Ok, now she tells me and sis and we are thinking "WHAT THE F***". Now, my dad has NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS, EVER. So me and sis just knew that something was going on with his brain because we knew that was NOT like our dad. My sis talked to dad and told him that he could not be saying and doing things like that with his granddaughter. He just said ok. Next 3 months later we find out that dad has a blockage in a vein or veins going to his heart. He has the surgery to fix it. During this time my neice stays away for two years and does not see dad. Well, she recently started working at the store again. And yesterday I was working up there with her and she told me that she went up to dads one day after I had left to go get connor from school. She was going up there to get dads truck keys to get his truck to get a load of bottle drinks. She said that while she was sitting in the chair next to dads chair that he unzipped his pants and pulled out his thing. And was talking dirty to her again and she said that she froze. She said that she kept telling him that she had to go and that she needed the truck keys which were in his pants pocket. Finally he goes in his pocket and pulls out the keys and she is holding her hand out to get the keys and he graps her and pulls her down on him forcifully. She said that he was not letting her go but she finally told him that she would come back and she said that he let her go then but he said, "No you won't".
Now sis and I do not understand what is going on with him. He has never tried anything like this with sis or I. Just this one granddaughter. Please if anyone knows of what could be going on with him let me know. This last time happened around Christmas which was like a month in a half ago. What could be going on with him??? Oh and the topper is this granddaughter is a lesbian always has been and she dresses like a boy. Big t shirts, baggy long shorts, no makeup, hair tied in a bun. Any ideas or advice, please. Love and hugs stormy.
Sorry you have to go through this now! What next?
Had Mom by myself all day. She was pretty good for the most part. Kept the sugar intake down, which wasn't too hard as she didn't cooperate very much at meals. She was very agitated before and after lunch, so I asked if she needed to go to the bathroom and she said yes. I got her on the pot and she kept getting distracted and trying to get up. Finally I just said your done playing, let's get your pants up and try later. Well. that was a big mistake!! I didn't know she had dropped this humongous bomb in the toilet and another on the seat as I got her up!! She sat back down on it and I spent the next 15 minutes cleaning us both up!!! Needless to say, she felt better the rest of the day! Such fun!!
It was 55 today so I opened windows and the cats went wild! It felt good to let the fresh air through the house. Looks like some of you are getting or had bad storms today. Hope everyone is okay.
Hate to admit this, but started a 2nd job. Need the money, and staying busy is good for me.