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God Deef and everybody in the NE and in the cold, snowy areas... Cuz! Austin, who else is up there? I just looked at the weather page. All of you angels stay safe and warm and don't shovel too much.
Deef it isn't add I think you are just one of those really active like to keep busy people. ADD would be that it costs in the end, you couldn't rest ever? right? My great grandparents were busy like that, did work came home, did yard work, built the lake house by hand ( no longer in family) life, live it eh...
Mom took fp for a hair cut today he once again said he wanted to let it grow, you know the scedgy bits along the outside of his bald head...and comb them...right,you don't wash your hands you gonna start combing your hair? Start with the nose hairs then... Mom acts like it is an ordeal to go two blocks in her car to get hair cut at barber....I used to have to roll him across four lanes of traffic, through snow to do it...?...whatever. when they left I OPENED THE WINDOWS AND DOORS AND BLEW THE HOUSE OUT! and I'll do it again if I get the chance...:)
Cuz, a little late but, "Happy Birthday to you....." That is a lot of snow in less than a wk n all y'all northers can have every single white snow-flake flurry dust. ; ) Call me a Wuss for I cannot stand cold weather. Snow is pretty for a day or so but not that many days. Stay warm n I hope u enjoyed your birthday.
Meanwhile, u must be talking about one of those straight jackets. Seems like it must be going around for Beck is borrowing it right now. So, Deefer n everyone else will have to take a # before getting your chance to wear it for I am next! Meanwhile, we promise we will give it back all n one piece. ; )
Deefer, be careful driving in that snow n everyone else that has to to get on the road. Of course y'all probable doing it like second nature. Anyway, try to be safe. Jen, I am so glad that they were able to get the little boy n did what was necessary of that crazy man. I still don't understand why he shot/killed the bus driver n why he even took the child for I don't think it was even related to him? I am glad it all done n the little boy is safe.
Cuz, that was too funny. Deefer, don't u just love being able to shop all by yourself it like being a kid n a candy store to me. I forget which way I want to go but then realize I only have so few hrs to get it done n pick up the mil. stepping on cat puke just sound horrific. I can handle poo but no stomach for that mess. Just talking about it making me nausea. Maybe if u take mini breaks with your hand it would help prevent some of that pain? I have to use gloves when my Raynaud's disease in my fingers start acting up n it is usually due to cold stuff. Of course, you live where it is defiantly cold. Jen, I hope U n your mom enjoyed the pizza. Update on the mil: I did actually get her to go today to the church for respite break n yes I had to tell her I needed to do other things without her under my butt! I also told her that I would pick her up around 1pm for she has another dr appt for the results. Results, she show she has a couple of small gall-stones n want her to drink water for her electrolytes were down n little dehydrated. Mil started her crappy lies that she eats n drinks good. I told the lady asst dr that she was full of it that she hasn't ate good n I have to make sure she don't slip the water down the sink as soon as I turn my back! I also told her that I didn't think her Dr. even recognizes that her AD has went from mild to moderate since 2010. I did tell her that she is eating a little better but that is very little n that if she looked at her weight from last month that she would see. Plus she has 2pair of sweat pants n heavy jacket on too when they weigh her. So, she is about 76 lbs. n 5 feet tall. She was at 79 n i was so proud of her. But with her butt/tummy issues it's been hard with her. The lady dr also mention that from the Cat-scan she saw a mass n her lower pelvic area. So, we have another appt for tomorrow to get a MRI of her lower abdomen. I told the lady that either the yr of 2010 or 11 she had surgery, a vulvectomy due to stage one cancer. Cannot spell it. yet, he had gotten it all cleared n hopefully that has not return. Hopefully, she just full-of-shit. However, I have been getting her to eat raisins, cranberries n up her on the whole grain bread plus she is taking twice a day Miralax. I also get her to drink one ensure a day too. Forgot today been running around with her. The lady dr said I was doing everything that I could possibly be doing for her n that she got on to the mil to drink plenty of water. I got some grocery shopping done before picking mil up. Plus she was running low on her butt suppository for diverticulitis so, I had ran by that dr's office being it was only couple blocks away n had him to call her in some more till she see him n couple of wks. I also let them know about her report of the mass from her primary dr n wanted her butt/gutt dr to fax his findings to her primary dr about the diverticulitis. Not sure why he didn't do it anyway. Now, I have to wait a couple of days for mil suppository for they r very expensive n they don't keep those in stock. We finally got home n had leftovers for supper for I was pretty pooped myself. However, due to income tax time coming, I had to call dr's to get them to send me total amount that we have paid for yr of 2012. I am hoping I am not doing all this for nothing for it has to add up to a certain % of what we make. At least I got a 3hr break. I think we have rain for tomorrow forecast. I rather have the rain than any of y'all snow. ; ) I hope everyone is able to get a restful night sleep.
Hi all Cat- I know you understand me and how this is affecting my life. I know I should quit wishing for him to die. I have told myself that so many times that I can't even count them anymore. And it doesn't help my feelings about myself when I am wishing for him to pass. Sometimes I feel like I am at war with myself. Like I am part evil and part good. I guess I just feel like if he passes then that will be the only way I will be free from all the worrying. I know it sounds bad but its how I feel. Thanks Cat, Hugs to you, Love Stormy. I am sending this message before I lose it. Computer acting funny.
Jen- glad you were able to air the house out maybe fp will leave again soon so you can do it again. lil deb- I hope you are able to get some rest tonite, sounds like you had a very busy day. Zoomdots- Hey there! Deef- You be careful in all that white stuff! Cuz- Sorry I am late with the happy birthday wishes, but I hope they all come true! Meanwhile- I need to borrow your jacket, have you got anymore to spare? Bobbie- How's the ankle doing? All better I hope. Sharyn- Thank You!!! Mame- Thank you for your advice, I do appreciate it. If I have forgotten anyone I am truly sorry. Thank you all for the advice and support you have given me.It means so much to me. Love and hugs stormy
Thanx for all the b-day wishes. lildeb I just watched the news and the forcast is another 4-8" for thursday and friday. No wonder my brother is taking ma to Florida. Thats ok I like the white stuff. Talked to some friends of ours that live in the upper part of Mi by the Soo and they have 3' on the level right now and more comin
Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next.Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.
Thank goodness for studies like this. It's not our age, it's that stupid door!
As a piper, I play many events...sometimes weddings, but more often funerals. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for an old hermit, who had lived by himself in a cabin in the woods, as long as anyone could remember. He had no family or friends that anyone knew about; so the service was to be in an isolated area, on a back-road in the hilly countryside.
As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost; and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late, and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone, and the hearse was nowhere in sight.
There were only diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch. I felt badly, and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave opening and looked down. It appeared that the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I warmed up my bagpipes and started to play.
As as I started to play "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet mudder of Jesus, I never seen nuthin' like dat before, and I been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Stormy: There is nothing wrong you: never has been!!!! You are not a bad person for feeling the way you feel. I wish I could make it easy for you, but I can't. You have to stand your ground. I'll be behind you, backing you up every step of the way and I know everyone else here will too. Love you, Cat.
stormy - i did wish that my dad would die sooner . it pains me to watch him wasting his life away in bed . i kept askin lord what kind of life is this ? this is no way to live .... jen wishes that too for fp . we re not the only one . im sure theres tons of young ones wishing that ... ah hell i ll put chiggars in the over night bag , baaahahaha u had me grinnin and cant believe u remmy about the chiggards crawlin up my woo woo area . baahahaha , its a comin soon . whoops . deef - u huperactive girl and that is good ! u go with the flow daily . alot of time i say ah fk it i aint doing nuthing today . i love ya deef ! zoom zoom :-) . enjoy knitting ... austin _ meow ... love u all . im ok . xoxo
Cat- I know that deep down I am not a bad person. Its just that I use to be optimistic about things, life in general and now things are just so blah............ I just feel like this caregiving has changed me. I know that you will be behind me, supporting me and that means alot to me. Love you too! Stormy Linda- I know their are others here that wish that love ones would go ahead and pass on, but to me in my mind it just feels wrong, even if I do wish it. Thanks, Linda. I did talk to the granddaughter yesterday, and I asked her, "Was there anything else different about dad, like his demeaner when he was acting like that to her?" And she just told me that it just didn't look like papa there. She said that he was grinning really big, that she could see all of his teeth. Bobbie, I thought about you and what you said the other day about holding someones teeth. Then I mentioned to the granddaughter about what if her and I went to dads one morning and I go in the back door of the house and she goes in the front door. And she goes in and sits down and asks dad for his truck keys and I have a video camera watching to see what he does. She said ok lets do it. So by her saying that it was kinda like she was saying that she is not lying about this and she wants to prove that what she is saying is true. I just feel like if she was lying about it all then she never would have agreed to go up there. And if dad starts acting funny again she can just get up and leave and I will have proof and I can show it to sis. Cause right now I just think that sis is hiding from it she doesn't want to admit that something could be going on with dad. I mean he will be 80 next month. I just don't want to think that my neice (the granddaughter) could be lying about something like this. But I don't know of any other way to find out the truth. I have not said anything to sis about us doing this. Cause she would be pissed about it. But at least this way we would know. Well, I guess I will talk with ya'll later. Take care everyone. Love and hugs stormy
Looks like we are finally going to get some major snow here! Went food shopping yesterday and have to head out for Mom supplies and scripts for my husband, Mom and myself. Still have to make sure snow blower is set to go. My sil is off tomorrow and all the youngins are home on the weekend, so hopefully I won't have to do too much shoveling. I'm still amazed at the difference in Mom since I stopped the extra sugar in her diet! Merry wasn't happy when I told her no more chocolate glazed donuts, candy bars, etc. She didn't believe me when I told her sugar is not good for dementia. I told her to Google it. Also, her urine has not been this clear in recent memory. So I'm hoping the UTIs will occur less and less. No more sugar for that bacteria to feed on!! Mom is less confused, actually makes sense when she talks, and is less agitated. She eats so much better. Opens her mouth without much prompting and actually finishes a meal in less than a half hour!! Barb, how are you and Mom? Haven't heard from you in a week. Hope her doctor visit on Monday was helpful. Let us know how you are doing, please! Cuz, I love the white stuff too! My husband complains about the cold all the time and would prefer a warmer climate, but I'm not moving! Love my N.E. weather!! Stormy, we have all had those thoughts. You are not alone there! Hope you can resolve this issue with your dad so you can move on with your life. Mame, I hated monitors too! I would hear all these noises and run to check on Mom, only to find her sound asleep! I like the cameras much better. I can see her at all times and can turn the sound OFF! Sorry your car got wrecked! Hope it doesn't get totaled. Times are tough for our age group and the future doesn't look too promising for us. LilDeb, You have your hands full with MIL. Even though my mom has PD and dementia, her general health is excellent and she need only see her doctor 2 times a year, unless there is an emergency. There is a product made by Nestle called Benecalorie. It's a tasteless liquid in a cup the size of coffee creamer, and packs a whopping 300+ calories! You can add it to food or drink for weight gain. It's not cheap, but if it adds weight without the hassle, it's worth it. Cheapest I've seen it is Walmart and Walgreens, but you have to order it online. Going to get some for Mom now that she has the $$ to pay for it. Linda!!! Chiggers!!! I remember that story. It was the first time I had ever heard of the little buggers! Bobbie!!! It was 10 degrees this morning when I took mom to daycare! Jen, Nothing like a bald, demented man with long strings of hair hanging from a few spots on his head!!! Very stylish!!! Okay, laundry to do, errands to run before I get Mom from daycare. That will be closed tomorrow, so, sigh, I will be on my own with her all day. I'm sure my class on Saturday will be canceled too! I was really looking forward to it, but I won't be traveling 45 minutes in the snow! Now I just have to hope my help can get shoveled out and here to watch Mom on Saturday. I'll need the break by then! So far they are talking about 12 to 18" here and maybe even 2 feet. I sure hope not because they are saying rain after the weekend and that would mean clearing off the roofs again!
Hi All! Expecting a decent amount of snow here in CNY tomorrow (Friday)and especially tomorrow night! I have no where to go and hubby will be home from work early tomorrow-so anything goes! :) Warm and snug as a bug in a rug!
Stormy, I always feel bad when I wish for the end too. I have asked God to forgive my thoughts but I feel He understands. If you are a believer in Jesus-He wanted out of what He had to do too! I find, that when there is something extra going on or I am extremely tired, the thought comes up more cause I am overwhelmed... so now, when I think it, I just tell myself, "you are tired" or "stressed". Somehow, it makes me feel better about myself. My husband always say that my "bucket is full to the brim-and when one more thing is added-the stress or tired...it spills over" Funny thing is, this saying works for many things! He has allergies and we always say his bucket is full of them and when one more allergin or trigger is added-he has a coughing fit or asthma attack. Anyway... I understand what you are saying and how you feel. I would like to tell you not to be too hard on yourself. What would you tell a best friend if she came to you with those feelings? Be your own best friend! And, I think it is a good idea to get proof for your sister if you feel it will help you to be able to say-I don't feel safe caring for him this summer with Connor around so I am not going to...or I feel he needs to go into a NH etc. Do what you have to do-and make no apologies... Be strong Stormy! And like Cat-I am behind ya too!
Linda-I have to admit, I remember the chiggers story too! I thought that was a riot and have worn long pants when gardening instead of shorts since I read that!!! And, I am one of those ppl you mentioned that says F it-I'm not doing anything today! Sometimes I just don't have the "horsepower" (as Bobbi says) to do anything but what I absolutely have to do. And that is care for mom...
Can I borrow one of those sledge hammers when the time comes Jen??? :) Ya know, I was thinking that altho you had to go farther with old FP across lanes of traffic...your mom saying it is such an ordeal to bring him two blocks may say that she is tired of all this and exhausted and has no energy....It is hard on all of us all the time.... I am sorry for you both Jen. FP in an overnight bag??? haha
Cuz-you have relieved many of our minds telling us about the doors! ;)
Lildeb-you are amazing staying on top of all these details for mil! I wish you could have 3 hours for yourself and not doing the Dr errands for her! But, you got out and got them done... Hope you reach the % you need on the meds for your taxes! We'll keep the snow here for ya!
Mom is good and looking forward to the snow since I have assured her we don't need to go anywhere. She gets so anxious sometimes about the weather. Her brother actually called her from FL yesterday! He goes down every winter. We don't usually hear from him so that was nice. She did ok with the conversation but faked a lot of it. But it made her happy to hear from him so that is all that really matters. Me? Well-I am glad I have all of you to talk to!!!! Takes me away from the monotony of this life! Thanks for being here and hellooo to all! Mame
Deef-our husbands can move to Florida together! We can go visit once in a while! My hubby is ALWAYS cold and by the end of winter I am soooo sick of hearing it!!! I am always hot-not sure if it is the extra weight I am carrying or what but when hubby turns the heat up I am sweating! UGH. The change in your mom re:surgar is amazing! So glad for you both! We are that much farther west for this storm that we will probably only get 1/2 of what you get. And they are calling for rain here next week too...ick... Bunker down and enjoy! Hope your help can make it! Mame
I saw a house hunters show last night and they went to Tahiti and had stuff to complain about in a million dollar home...It's all relative ain't it?....
over night bag body bag what ever.
Understand stormy, you are a good person and many people would like it to be over whether from the stress or the pain of watching a loved one suffer. I don't see the wrong in it. but that is me. if you feel icky about the thoughts maybe try and catch them as they come and turn them to something else like good times from before and what may come after..after you know...
Saw the weather channel yesterday and know east coast is gonna get some major snow, hope it is the low end for everyone, I have an elderly pen pan in Cambridge and hope her fam is keeping an eye on her... Stay warm and well stocked Deef! Ya never know....what will the cats do locally?
Linda's right, a bad person would either not care at all neglect what has to be done or actually put the one being cared for in harms way. Just wanting to be done with it is human nature, who wants misery to be extended! that is nuts...
Speaking of bs...mom lets dog in, "Monty your drinking a lot of water this morning, you didn't get your insulin this morning did you?" She says loud and leading...YES, I didn't get out of bed, sore back, TIRED and menstrual hut just started , but I got up an hour ago and Just gave him his shot! which I told her.... "oh..." yes "Oh.." "Oh just shut the Hell up!" is more like it. Here's one, YOU have not givin' fart pants a bath in two week and he has smeared shit all over the toilet twice already so he is coated good...so lets not point fingers at who is slackin' off here. and he has the funds she could hire yes stranger to come in an handle him in the bathing bits...
Hi Crew, I'm still here, just extremely busy. I'm supposed to take mom tomorrow to the Presbyterian Home so I can get 5 days of respite. I am nervous how she will react since she has been very agitated here at home. Just too tired to write much. Have a good night and stay safe and warm.
Mame, after being married to the same man for 40 years, I would welcome him going to a warmer place and me having some peace and QUIET!!!! Plus he's a hypochondriac of the worse kind!!! I'll take Mom any day. At least she has 2 good excuses for being the way she is! Wow Diane!!! Hope you make the most of your time off from mom! Never mind what needs doing and just spoil yourself all 5 days!!! Jen, Guess I should have invented that butt scraper we talked about a couple years ago. I could be rich by now and actually enjoying my old age! Well, from the looks of it we are in for 20 inches or more in this area. Then rain right after that. So, looks like we will be 3 stories up on the roof shoveling the snow off before it freezes or the rain hits. SIL started up the snow blower when he got home today, so that's all set. We decided on the parking order in the long driveway so we can get to the sidewalk with the snow blower. The house has a short driveway on my side that fits one car. The long driveway on the other side of the house fits 5 cars. The lot is small and both sides are closed in by fences along the driveways and the front of the house is right on the sidewalk. So we have to leave the shorter drive open to get the snow blower to the front to clean out the sidewalk which by town ordinance has to be done within 24 hours. Then it's a process to clean in front of and behind the end cars so we have somewhere to move them to get to the rest of the snow in between. No matter what, all the snow has to go to either the back of the house, or off the edge of the sidewalk in front until there is no more room for it. What's in the middle gets thrown over the 6' fence into the neighboring yard which is basically a parking lot for the tenants. It's not easy to clean up after a big storm when there is no "wiggle" room. I'm going to park my car on the lawn just so there is room to clean behind the other 4 cars. Gone are the days of 1 car families! I don't relish climbing my overweight butt out the small attic window to do the roof, but I'll manage somehow. Good thing I love to be outside in the snow! Realized what time it was and had to go give Mom her pills and get her to bed. Just took the laundry out of the dryer and now I'm going to clean up the supper dishes then go and wind all the wool yarn I bought the other day. Got some cool colors to knit into felted bags. May go to bed early again tonight. Pretty tired!
Deef: Stay safe in the storm. I don't really like the idea of you being on the roof clearing snow. Sounds pretty scary to me. Glad your mom is doing better with the new sugar restrictions. Enjoy your knitting and stay safe.
Stormy, sending u a few cyber hugs n yes, I got some rest. I only had to get up twice to tinkle. Like you wanted to hear all that. For some reason though my toes feel like they twitch n hubby caught me doing it last night n bed. It only happens n bed, go figure. Maybe I am trying to run away from all the problems at my house. lol. No such luck. Bob, lol. I knew I was a little nutty sometimes. We all have to be in this line of work. : ) I hope u r doing fine n you have your boat starting to look new again with all that work you have put into it. Mame, I have done some searching n only found a couple places which r really asst. living that has a day they can spend n they want $100.00 for 8hrs. That just seems a bit much. I did find one Day Care however, its not a place for people who have AD. So, I e-mailed my local Alz association to see if she may have a list for Day Care Centers for people with AD. I also thought about the 'In-home companion sitter n just put the cats n back room n dogs out the back yard. Then put a pad lock on hubby n my bedroom door for we have 2 safes that can walk out the door n other stuff. Plus, you want to get someone that u can trust that wont be abusive with the mil n it just so hard to trust anyone now days. You just hear so much crap with caregivers n babysitters. However, I do know I need to do something asap. Hopefully, I will hear back from my local Alz association n if not I guess I will have to give a call. Everyone stay warm n dry.
lil' deb- I am glad that you got some rest and that is too funny about the toes. You never know next time you might be kicking up them legs like you are trying to run away. lol Hugs Deef- Girl, you better stay off of that roof! You don't need to fall off and break something. The snow will melt sooner or later, given it might be later. Where do you live at anyway. I saw on the news tonight where boston is suppose to get 2 feet of snow. Hell, we can't even get 2 inches here. It's raining like cats and dogs outside now. Please be careful and stay warm!!! Hugs Jen- Thanks for the idea about thinking about how it will be after he, you know..... I will try that. It can't hurt. I guess we have to hang on to something, right? Hugs Mame- I know I have been trying to read in the bible some. It gave me real comfort after my mom died. And sis has been getting these books (religion ones) like daily devotions and this one I read for each day. She has it at dads and it always seems like it is talking about what is going on with me for that day. I really like that one. And she has a new one that I just saw the other day, she keeps them in the bathroom. And it just makes me think that she is having a hard time with something, whether its work, dad, or her husband's health issues. He is a diabetic, been taking insulin shots for probably 35 years and he is trying to recover from some serious diabetic ulcers that he has on his foot. She has been having to pack the wounds to try to get them to heal up. So I know she is having a hard time between dad and her hubbby. Hugs Diane- Have fun on your trip! Hugs Cat- Hey there, what's up? Well, I guess I better get off of here and get in the bed. I will chat later with ya'll. Thank you all for all of the love and support you have given to me. Sending all of you cyber hugs!!!! Love, Stormy.
Mame: Thanks for the reminder that even Jesus was wanting a way out. That's something to ponder and it's a comfort too. We are just not perfect, but we do our best.
My heart is breaking in a million pieces. Yesterday was my mom's 84 birthday and she didn't know it. I told her it was her birthday but it only registered a minute before she on to something else. Humor....the first time her personality disorder didn't demand to be the center of attention...but a sad change in her personality. She is very dependent upon me...I took her to the dentist this morning. The receptionist gave her a form to fill out updating health info. Mom was lost...the receptionist said if you are healthy just write healthy here and sign it. My mom looked at me and said, "You do it." The receptionist said just write healthy and sign your name but put daughter in ()...so I did. Tomorrow sis takes her to cardiologist appt. Mom has the artery to one kidney that is 90^% blocked so dr. does routine blood work to check kidney function since a surgery on it is not always beneficial. Monday is the appt. with neurologist for evaluation. I also made appt. to tour a senior living facility that afternoon. They can place mom in a memory care unit where she can have her precious toy poodle Midget with her. Haven't heard from sis if she is going to go with me for the tour but I told her we need to plan ahead because even if the neurologist diagnoses mom as incompetent, we need to be prepared because it may still be another 2-3 months before we get a court hearing for a judge to decide final outcome. I have decided I don't want home health care because of issues of theft, continuity of aids that will be developing a relationship with my mom (quitting after a few months, etc) and overall treatment of my mother when we are not there. I have been very depressed and trying to not post on this site because I am trying to keep my emotions from not being on the surface all the time, but I had to share this because I have no where else to vent.
Flex~I loved your post about me looking like your avatar, but it is too late, I already do and I am not caregiving 24/7/365, Hahaha!! Humor is great and it relives stress!!
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loss of words
just state of mind of confusion brings up the changing of roles
you have a lot on your plate.
Welcome to the home of Vent and Live.
Everybody is writing such great posts!
Love all the callouts. You guys rock.
I am in Lurk Mode while I do boatwork.
Hey.. if you can't write anything because you're all shot out just bang in LM and hit submit.
Be funny to see how many of us are hanging out and all shot out at the same time.
Love you guys,
lovbob
I just looked at the weather page.
All of you angels stay safe and warm and don't shovel too much.
lovbob
Deef it isn't add I think you are just one of those really active like to keep busy people. ADD would be that it costs in the end, you couldn't rest ever? right?
My great grandparents were busy like that, did work came home, did yard work, built the lake house by hand ( no longer in family) life, live it eh...
Mom took fp for a hair cut today he once again said he wanted to let it grow, you know the scedgy bits along the outside of his bald head...and comb them...right,you don't wash your hands you gonna start combing your hair? Start with the nose hairs then... Mom acts like it is an ordeal to go two blocks in her car to get hair cut at barber....I used to have to roll him across four lanes of traffic, through snow to do it...?...whatever. when they left I OPENED THE WINDOWS AND DOORS AND BLEW THE HOUSE OUT! and I'll do it again if I get the chance...:)
Meanwhile, u must be talking about one of those straight jackets. Seems like it must be going around for Beck is borrowing it right now. So, Deefer n everyone else will have to take a # before getting your chance to wear it for I am next! Meanwhile, we promise we will give it back all n one piece. ; )
Deefer, be careful driving in that snow n everyone else that has to to get on the road. Of course y'all probable doing it like second nature. Anyway, try to be safe.
Jen, I am so glad that they were able to get the little boy n did what was necessary of that crazy man. I still don't understand why he shot/killed the bus driver n why he even took the child for I don't think it was even related to him? I am glad it all done n the little boy is safe.
Night everyone. where's Flex?
Deefer, don't u just love being able to shop all by yourself it like being a kid n a candy store to me. I forget which way I want to go but then realize I only have so few hrs to get it done n pick up the mil. stepping on cat puke just sound horrific. I can handle poo but no stomach for that mess. Just talking about it making me nausea. Maybe if u take mini breaks with your hand it would help prevent some of that pain? I have to use gloves when my Raynaud's disease in my fingers start acting up n it is usually due to cold stuff. Of course, you live where it is defiantly cold.
Jen, I hope U n your mom enjoyed the pizza.
Update on the mil: I did actually get her to go today to the church for respite break n yes I had to tell her I needed to do other things without her under my butt! I also told her that I would pick her up around 1pm for she has another dr appt for the results. Results, she show she has a couple of small gall-stones n want her to drink water for her electrolytes were down n little dehydrated. Mil started her crappy lies that she eats n drinks good. I told the lady asst dr that she was full of it that she hasn't ate good n I have to make sure she don't slip the water down the sink as soon as I turn my back! I also told her that I didn't think her Dr. even recognizes that her AD has went from mild to moderate since 2010. I did tell her that she is eating a little better but that is very little n that if she looked at her weight from last month that she would see. Plus she has 2pair of sweat pants n heavy jacket on too when they weigh her. So, she is about 76 lbs. n 5 feet tall. She was at 79 n i was so proud of her. But with her butt/tummy issues it's been hard with her. The lady dr also mention that from the Cat-scan she saw a mass n her lower pelvic area. So, we have another appt for tomorrow to get a MRI of her lower abdomen. I told the lady that either the yr of 2010 or 11 she had surgery, a vulvectomy due to stage one cancer. Cannot spell it. yet, he had gotten it all cleared n hopefully that has not return. Hopefully, she just full-of-shit. However, I have been getting her to eat raisins, cranberries n up her on the whole grain bread plus she is taking twice a day Miralax. I also get her to drink one ensure a day too. Forgot today been running around with her. The lady dr said I was doing everything that I could possibly be doing for her n that she got on to the mil to drink plenty of water. I got some grocery shopping done before picking mil up. Plus she was running low on her butt suppository for diverticulitis so, I had ran by that dr's office being it was only couple blocks away n had him to call her in some more till she see him n couple of wks. I also let them know about her report of the mass from her primary dr n wanted her butt/gutt dr to fax his findings to her primary dr about the diverticulitis. Not sure why he didn't do it anyway. Now, I have to wait a couple of days for mil suppository for they r very expensive n they don't keep those in stock. We finally got home n had leftovers for supper for I was pretty pooped myself. However, due to income tax time coming, I had to call dr's to get them to send me total amount that we have paid for yr of 2012. I am hoping I am not doing all this for nothing for it has to add up to a certain % of what we make. At least I got a 3hr break. I think we have rain for tomorrow forecast. I rather have the rain than any of y'all snow. ; )
I hope everyone is able to get a restful night sleep.
Cat- I know you understand me and how this is affecting my life. I know I should quit wishing for him to die. I have told myself that so many times that I can't even count them anymore. And it doesn't help my feelings about myself when I am wishing for him to pass. Sometimes I feel like I am at war with myself. Like I am part evil and part good. I guess I just feel like if he passes then that will be the only way I will be free from all the worrying. I know it sounds bad but its how I feel. Thanks Cat, Hugs to you, Love Stormy.
I am sending this message before I lose it. Computer acting funny.
lil deb- I hope you are able to get some rest tonite, sounds like you had a very busy day.
Zoomdots- Hey there!
Deef- You be careful in all that white stuff!
Cuz- Sorry I am late with the happy birthday wishes, but I hope they all come true!
Meanwhile- I need to borrow your jacket, have you got anymore to spare?
Bobbie- How's the ankle doing? All better I hope.
Sharyn- Thank You!!!
Mame- Thank you for your advice, I do appreciate it.
If I have forgotten anyone I am truly sorry. Thank you all for the advice and support you have given me.It means so much to me. Love and hugs stormy
lildeb I just watched the news and the forcast is another 4-8" for thursday and friday. No wonder my brother is taking ma to Florida. Thats ok I like the white stuff. Talked to some friends of ours that live in the upper part of Mi by the Soo and they have 3' on the level right now and more comin
Whew! What a relief to learn this...
Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was?
Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.
Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next.Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.
Thank goodness for studies like this. It's not our age, it's that stupid door!
by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for an old hermit, who had lived by himself in
a cabin in the woods, as long as anyone could remember. He had no family or friends that anyone
knew about; so the service was to be in an isolated area, on a back-road in the hilly countryside.
As I was not familiar with the area, I got lost; and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I
finally arrived an hour late, and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone, and the hearse was
nowhere in sight.
There were only diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch. I felt badly, and apologized to the men for
being late. I went to the side of the grave opening and looked down. It appeared that the vault lid was
already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I warmed up my bagpipes and started to play.
As as I started to play "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep They wept, I wept, we all wept together.
When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart
was full.
As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet mudder of Jesus, I never seen
nuthin' like dat before, and I been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
ah hell i ll put chiggars in the over night bag , baaahahaha u had me grinnin and cant believe u remmy about the chiggards crawlin up my woo woo area . baahahaha , its a comin soon . whoops .
deef - u huperactive girl and that is good ! u go with the flow daily . alot of time i say ah fk it i aint doing nuthing today . i love ya deef ! zoom zoom :-) . enjoy knitting ...
austin _ meow ...
love u all . im ok . xoxo
Linda- I know their are others here that wish that love ones would go ahead and pass on, but to me in my mind it just feels wrong, even if I do wish it. Thanks, Linda.
I did talk to the granddaughter yesterday, and I asked her, "Was there anything else different about dad, like his demeaner when he was acting like that to her?" And she just told me that it just didn't look like papa there. She said that he was grinning really big, that she could see all of his teeth. Bobbie, I thought about you and what you said the other day about holding someones teeth.
Then I mentioned to the granddaughter about what if her and I went to dads one morning and I go in the back door of the house and she goes in the front door. And she goes in and sits down and asks dad for his truck keys and I have a video camera watching to see what he does. She said ok lets do it. So by her saying that it was kinda like she was saying that she is not lying about this and she wants to prove that what she is saying is true. I just feel like if she was lying about it all then she never would have agreed to go up there. And if dad starts acting funny again she can just get up and leave and I will have proof and I can show it to sis. Cause right now I just think that sis is hiding from it she doesn't want to admit that something could be going on with dad. I mean he will be 80 next month. I just don't want to think that my neice (the granddaughter) could be lying about something like this. But I don't know of any other way to find out the truth. I have not said anything to sis about us doing this. Cause she would be pissed about it. But at least this way we would know. Well, I guess I will talk with ya'll later. Take care everyone. Love and hugs stormy
Still have to make sure snow blower is set to go. My sil is off tomorrow and all the youngins are home on the weekend, so hopefully I won't have to do too much shoveling.
I'm still amazed at the difference in Mom since I stopped the extra sugar in her diet! Merry wasn't happy when I told her no more chocolate glazed donuts, candy bars, etc. She didn't believe me when I told her sugar is not good for dementia. I told her to Google it. Also, her urine has not been this clear in recent memory. So I'm hoping the UTIs will occur less and less. No more sugar for that bacteria to feed on!! Mom is less confused, actually makes sense when she talks, and is less agitated. She eats so much better. Opens her mouth without much prompting and actually finishes a meal in less than a half hour!!
Barb, how are you and Mom? Haven't heard from you in a week. Hope her doctor visit on Monday was helpful. Let us know how you are doing, please!
Cuz, I love the white stuff too! My husband complains about the cold all the time and would prefer a warmer climate, but I'm not moving! Love my N.E. weather!!
Stormy, we have all had those thoughts. You are not alone there! Hope you can resolve this issue with your dad so you can move on with your life.
Mame, I hated monitors too! I would hear all these noises and run to check on Mom, only to find her sound asleep! I like the cameras much better. I can see her at all times and can turn the sound OFF! Sorry your car got wrecked! Hope it doesn't get totaled. Times are tough for our age group and the future doesn't look too promising for us.
LilDeb, You have your hands full with MIL. Even though my mom has PD and dementia, her general health is excellent and she need only see her doctor 2 times a year, unless there is an emergency. There is a product made by Nestle called Benecalorie. It's a tasteless liquid in a cup the size of coffee creamer, and packs a whopping 300+ calories! You can add it to food or drink for weight gain. It's not cheap, but if it adds weight without the hassle, it's worth it. Cheapest I've seen it is Walmart and Walgreens, but you have to order it online. Going to get some for Mom now that she has the $$ to pay for it.
Linda!!! Chiggers!!! I remember that story. It was the first time I had ever heard of the little buggers!
Bobbie!!! It was 10 degrees this morning when I took mom to daycare!
Jen, Nothing like a bald, demented man with long strings of hair hanging from a few spots on his head!!! Very stylish!!!
Okay, laundry to do, errands to run before I get Mom from daycare. That will be closed tomorrow, so, sigh, I will be on my own with her all day. I'm sure my class on Saturday will be canceled too! I was really looking forward to it, but I won't be traveling 45 minutes in the snow! Now I just have to hope my help can get shoveled out and here to watch Mom on Saturday. I'll need the break by then! So far they are talking about 12 to 18" here and maybe even 2 feet. I sure hope not because they are saying rain after the weekend and that would mean clearing off the roofs again!
Stormy, I always feel bad when I wish for the end too. I have asked God to forgive my thoughts but I feel He understands. If you are a believer in Jesus-He wanted out of what He had to do too! I find, that when there is something extra going on or I am extremely tired, the thought comes up more cause I am overwhelmed... so now, when I think it, I just tell myself, "you are tired" or "stressed". Somehow, it makes me feel better about myself. My husband always say that my "bucket is full to the brim-and when one more thing is added-the stress or tired...it spills over" Funny thing is, this saying works for many things! He has allergies and we always say his bucket is full of them and when one more allergin or trigger is added-he has a coughing fit or asthma attack. Anyway... I understand what you are saying and how you feel. I would like to tell you not to be too hard on yourself. What would you tell a best friend if she came to you with those feelings? Be your own best friend! And, I think it is a good idea to get proof for your sister if you feel it will help you to be able to say-I don't feel safe caring for him this summer with Connor around so I am not going to...or I feel he needs to go into a NH etc. Do what you have to do-and make no apologies... Be strong Stormy! And like Cat-I am behind ya too!
Linda-I have to admit, I remember the chiggers story too! I thought that was a riot and have worn long pants when gardening instead of shorts since I read that!!! And, I am one of those ppl you mentioned that says F it-I'm not doing anything today! Sometimes I just don't have the "horsepower" (as Bobbi says) to do anything but what I absolutely have to do. And that is care for mom...
Can I borrow one of those sledge hammers when the time comes Jen??? :) Ya know, I was thinking that altho you had to go farther with old FP across lanes of traffic...your mom saying it is such an ordeal to bring him two blocks may say that she is tired of all this and exhausted and has no energy....It is hard on all of us all the time.... I am sorry for you both Jen. FP in an overnight bag??? haha
Cuz-you have relieved many of our minds telling us about the doors! ;)
Lildeb-you are amazing staying on top of all these details for mil! I wish you could have 3 hours for yourself and not doing the Dr errands for her! But, you got out and got them done... Hope you reach the % you need on the meds for your taxes! We'll keep the snow here for ya!
Mom is good and looking forward to the snow since I have assured her we don't need to go anywhere. She gets so anxious sometimes about the weather. Her brother actually called her from FL yesterday! He goes down every winter. We don't usually hear from him so that was nice. She did ok with the conversation but faked a lot of it. But it made her happy to hear from him so that is all that really matters.
Me? Well-I am glad I have all of you to talk to!!!! Takes me away from the monotony of this life! Thanks for being here and hellooo to all! Mame
The change in your mom re:surgar is amazing! So glad for you both!
We are that much farther west for this storm that we will probably only get 1/2 of what you get. And they are calling for rain here next week too...ick...
Bunker down and enjoy! Hope your help can make it! Mame
over night bag body bag what ever.
Understand stormy, you are a good person and many people would like it to be over whether from the stress or the pain of watching a loved one suffer. I don't see the wrong in it. but that is me. if you feel icky about the thoughts maybe try and catch them as they come and turn them to something else like good times from before and what may come after..after you know...
Saw the weather channel yesterday and know east coast is gonna get some major snow, hope it is the low end for everyone, I have an elderly pen pan in Cambridge and hope her fam is keeping an eye on her...
Stay warm and well stocked Deef! Ya never know....what will the cats do locally?
Linda's right, a bad person would either not care at all neglect what has to be done or actually put the one being cared for in harms way. Just wanting to be done with it is human nature, who wants misery to be extended! that is nuts...
Speaking of bs...mom lets dog in, "Monty your drinking a lot of water this morning, you didn't get your insulin this morning did you?" She says loud and leading...YES, I didn't get out of bed, sore back, TIRED and menstrual hut just started , but I got up an hour ago and Just gave him his shot! which I told her....
"oh..." yes "Oh.." "Oh just shut the Hell up!" is more like it. Here's one, YOU have not givin' fart pants a bath in two week and he has smeared shit all over the toilet twice already so he is coated good...so lets not point fingers at who is slackin' off here. and he has the funds she could hire yes stranger to come in an handle him in the bathing bits...
grouse grouse grouse yes, you know...Jen
I'm still here, just extremely busy. I'm supposed to take mom tomorrow to the Presbyterian Home so I can get 5 days of respite. I am nervous how she will react since she has been very agitated here at home. Just too tired to write much. Have a good night and stay safe and warm.
Wow Diane!!! Hope you make the most of your time off from mom! Never mind what needs doing and just spoil yourself all 5 days!!!
Jen, Guess I should have invented that butt scraper we talked about a couple years ago. I could be rich by now and actually enjoying my old age!
Well, from the looks of it we are in for 20 inches or more in this area. Then rain right after that. So, looks like we will be 3 stories up on the roof shoveling the snow off before it freezes or the rain hits. SIL started up the snow blower when he got home today, so that's all set. We decided on the parking order in the long driveway so we can get to the sidewalk with the snow blower. The house has a short driveway on my side that fits one car. The long driveway on the other side of the house fits 5 cars. The lot is small and both sides are closed in by fences along the driveways and the front of the house is right on the sidewalk. So we have to leave the shorter drive open to get the snow blower to the front to clean out the sidewalk which by town ordinance has to be done within 24 hours. Then it's a process to clean in front of and behind the end cars so we have somewhere to move them to get to the rest of the snow in between. No matter what, all the snow has to go to either the back of the house, or off the edge of the sidewalk in front until there is no more room for it. What's in the middle gets thrown over the 6' fence into the neighboring yard which is basically a parking lot for the tenants. It's not easy to clean up after a big storm when there is no "wiggle" room. I'm going to park my car on the lawn just so there is room to clean behind the other 4 cars. Gone are the days of 1 car families!
I don't relish climbing my overweight butt out the small attic window to do the roof, but I'll manage somehow. Good thing I love to be outside in the snow!
Realized what time it was and had to go give Mom her pills and get her to bed. Just took the laundry out of the dryer and now I'm going to clean up the supper dishes then go and wind all the wool yarn I bought the other day. Got some cool colors to knit into felted bags.
May go to bed early again tonight. Pretty tired!
Jen, loved the body bag.
Cat
Bob, lol. I knew I was a little nutty sometimes. We all have to be in this line of work. : ) I hope u r doing fine n you have your boat starting to look new again with all that work you have put into it.
Mame, I have done some searching n only found a couple places which r really asst. living that has a day they can spend n they want $100.00 for 8hrs. That just seems a bit much. I did find one Day Care however, its not a place for people who have AD. So, I e-mailed my local Alz association to see if she may have a list for Day Care Centers for people with AD.
I also thought about the 'In-home companion sitter n just put the cats n back room n dogs out the back yard. Then put a pad lock on hubby n my bedroom door for we have 2 safes that can walk out the door n other stuff.
Plus, you want to get someone that u can trust that wont be abusive with the mil n it just so hard to trust anyone now days. You just hear so much crap with caregivers n babysitters. However, I do know I need to do something asap. Hopefully, I will hear back from my local Alz association n if not I guess I will have to give a call.
Everyone stay warm n dry.
Deef- Girl, you better stay off of that roof! You don't need to fall off and break something. The snow will melt sooner or later, given it might be later. Where do you live at anyway. I saw on the news tonight where boston is suppose to get 2 feet of snow. Hell, we can't even get 2 inches here. It's raining like cats and dogs outside now. Please be careful and stay warm!!! Hugs
Jen- Thanks for the idea about thinking about how it will be after he, you know..... I will try that. It can't hurt. I guess we have to hang on to something, right? Hugs
Mame- I know I have been trying to read in the bible some. It gave me real comfort after my mom died. And sis has been getting these books (religion ones) like daily devotions and this one I read for each day. She has it at dads and it always seems like it is talking about what is going on with me for that day. I really like that one. And she has a new one that I just saw the other day, she keeps them in the bathroom. And it just makes me think that she is having a hard time with something, whether its work, dad, or her husband's health issues. He is a diabetic, been taking insulin shots for probably 35 years and he is trying to recover from some serious diabetic ulcers that he has on his foot. She has been having to pack the wounds to try to get them to heal up. So I know she is having a hard time between dad and her hubbby. Hugs
Diane- Have fun on your trip! Hugs
Cat- Hey there, what's up?
Well, I guess I better get off of here and get in the bed. I will chat later with ya'll. Thank you all for all of the love and support you have given to me. Sending all of you cyber hugs!!!! Love, Stormy.
Flex~I loved your post about me looking like your avatar, but it is too late, I already do and I am not caregiving 24/7/365, Hahaha!! Humor is great and it relives stress!!