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Hey all, I had to carry dad to the dr today to get his bloodwork done and after I picked up connor from school my sister calls me and tells me that the nurse at the drs office called her and told her that she needed to get dad to the hospital that his hemoglobin was at a critical level- 7.5 and so she carried him to the hospital. We think that he might be bleeding somewhere internally. Just because she said that last nite she noticed his belly looked bigger and yesterday we felt some hard areas on his stomach. And he has had some tenderness around the stomach tube. And I had asked dad the day before if he was going to the bathroom alright, no blood right and he said just normal bowel movements. Well while I am talking to sis this afternoon after the call from the nurse she tells me dad said that his stool had been being loose. So right now I am just waiting to hear from her. I am at home with connor, hubby(cliff) is gone out of town for work for the night. But when i learn more I will let ya'll know. Do any of ya'll know anything about this? hugs stormy
I have something to say, but I have to find the right words. For now, just know that I wish everyone a peaceful night. Meanwhile, special hugs to you. Mame, you are a good soul and I'm glad to have you for a friend. Christina, you are part of AC, with your story and your feelings. We all are and we are doing the best we can. Bobbie, I liked your comment about everyone reacting to things depending on where they were in their journey. So true. Still I think when we are hurt deeply, be it through words or just being ignored, we feel it and can be angry that others don't understand. I've been on both sides. I've felt ignored and felt attacked. I've also behaved badly, lashing out when a certain button in my heart was hit. It often catches me by surprise because I am not always as moderated as others. Deef, you for example just seem to go on and never miss a beat. I'm up and down and, like Meanwhile said, I can think I am doing fine and have a meltdown.
Opps, I wasn't finished. Just wanted to say that I would like to feel forgiven when I am wrong. I am wrong at times. It pains me to be wrong because it is always a reaction to someone suffering and ultimately my need to protect them. Ironically, I just end up hurting someone else that was having a reaction too. That happens because we are human and in pain.
Since I am still talking on, beyond what I wanted to really say, let me just say to BOOKWORM, that I am truly sorry for dumping on you. I miss seeing you post on GO and I don't feel like I can if you can't. It was never about you Book, it was just that I was in pain and I was feeling Jen's pain and just wanted the world to stop hurting. It's not Jen's fault. It's not your fault. It just is what it is. I'm learning something from this and I hope you are too, Book. Sometimes we just have to forgive. I would like your forgiveness and I would appreciate the understanding of others. I guess I am a wild card, but I am no less sincere or willing to walk through hot coals than anyone else.
Stormy, sounds like the internal bleeding may be the culprit for sure. hope it's an easy fix. My husband spent most of the day with his dad. he is fine, just got a bit dizzy upon rising this morning and fell. Once again he has to remember to eat more protein and less carbs. he ate a light supper, 2 slices of bread with one slice of cold cut and that was at 4;30. then he had some donut holes at 7:30. he goes to bed around ten and gets up between 7 and 8, so that's not enough to keep his blood sugar level until morning. My sil just wants to believe that everything is shutting down because of his age and refuses to believe that his diet is the culprit. She went out and bought him 2 muffins this afternoon! just what he needs, sweets and carbs! Told my husband that he would have to go every afternoon and evening to make sure he ate enough. FIL is 102, but not stupid and by no means senile. I think he would eat more if someone was there to encourage him. So I guess I will be cooking some for him now too! that's okay, as long as it makes him feel better. Just wished my sil would listen!
Jen, FP is lucky he didn't fall and break his neck! Sorry!
Cat I miss beats all the time, but being a middle child, well, second oldest of 7, I was pretty much on my own and learned to keep my pain to myself. I have endured a lot over the years and find the best way for me to work through my problems is to help others get through their tough times. My Mom's mother, my Meme always called me happy go lucky and in a way I am because I didn't get the depression and panic attacks that most of my sibs have problems with. I have my moments and I disappear so that I don't take things out on anyone else. I don't want to be "top dog" or leader of the pack. Too much responsibility in that. that's one lesson I learned from my dad. He used to always tell us never look down on anyone because they are less fortunate, or not as smart or pretty, because you could be in their shoes someday. I tried to raise my daughter that way too. Respect is very important. Disrespect for no reason is not cool and it is the one thing I will call someone out on. It happens here a lot, and mostly because the person lashing out is over worked, over stressed and over tired. That I can ignore. It's blatant disrespect coming from someone with real anger issues that will get my back up. I am in no way referring to you. Your post is very sincere and I hope you can understand where all of us are coming from on this thread. We are not on here for attention or to outdo each other in the # of posts we write or whether we remember to mention everyone in our comments every time we post. I write notes and still forget to mention someone. It doesn't mean I care any less, it just means my plate is full and I honestly forget. I know we can't all make everyone who has been on this thread happy, with over 500 posters, that would be impossible! I too have questioned myself when my posts go unanswered, but then I think of all the crap going on in everyone's lives and I know they are thinking of me, just not when posting. What I'm trying to say is thank you for the great post. it means more than just an apology and I think you finally get what this thread is about. It's not about any one person's ego or wants or needs. it's about the well being of all of us and what we can and have learned from each other. There is a lot of love on this thread and not just words that anyone can say to make them look good. It has to come from the heart without expectations of rewards and accolades. Sincerity, know what I mean? I hope everyone sticks around for the long haul. We need all of you and we are here for each other. the long timers know exactly what I mean without explaining. there is no fake love or words here. We are just a bunch of tired, worn out, and washed up care givers trying to get some solace from people who really care! Meds kicking in! need to get to bed. Night everyone, and again, thank you Cat for writing what you did!
I get so grossed out with my Dad and his dipping. Cannot go anywhere without his spit cup. He has a dip in his mouth at all times and coughs up luggies and spits it in his cup. I get sick thinking about it. He wont bathe. Dip will be running down his chin and all over his shirt and won't change clothes either. I told my kids to just put me in the nursing home if i ever get nasty like him.....
Deef: I am not judging you, just saying that you keep moving on in a way that leaves me and others speechless. I am, however, saying that others feel too, especially when others don't acknowledge them and that lack of acknowledgment is painful to those who carry similar burdens.
Deef, you are a good woman. I don't think any of us on the GO thread are not good women. We have been through lots of stuff and will continue to do so. Tomorrow is another day and the day after that.
Much is ahead for all of us. Out of this reality and in to the next.
Oh, and Deef, I never have had a problem "getting" what the GO thread or any other thread was about. I always got it, but sometimes I was just wrapped up in my self and what I was experiencing. I always wanted to be helpful, but I could never just shut myself down. I admire you in as much as you just keep on track. Good for you and I mean that with all due respect. You get more done in a day than I do in a week.
Cat and Deef- is something going on between you two? Did I miss something? I hope both of you have a peaceful night and better tomorrows. Love.... Jen- thanks, sending you hugs.
The last I heard on dad was that they were doing a xray and ct scan of his stomach and that they could not see where he was losing blood from his stomach. They have been doing more blood work, urine and stool sample. I think tomorrow they are going to check for the upper GI and see if something is bleeding there. And sis just texted me and said that he was on his last blood transfusion. I don't know how many they have given him. They said that they didn't see any blood in his stool sample. So I guess maybe we will find out something tomorrow. Love and hugs to all Stormy
Stormy: Nothing is going on between me and Deef except a conversation. We are talking about feelings and how people are impacted. Kind of a natural thing. I went to a very liberal bible study group today. This is what I came away with. It touched my heart. "Truth is not always about pragmatic problem solving and making things work, but about reconciling contradictions."
I feel like I live with contradictions all the time. I want to be the best person possible, but then I feel like I fall short. I guess that is what human is all about.
Hugs to all my imperfect friends (especially me) Cat.
nope grandpa. I have no idea...like he was using it to help pull himself up...? We have the special chair and hand rails everywhere and he leans his forehead on the cupboard door across from toilet and has smeared the paint off in a foot long patch, very attractive...
Cat, I didn't think you were judging me! Sorry if what I wrote sounded that way. Once again reading words instead of hearing them is such a "crap shoot" when it comes to what each one of us takes away from them. It's so hard for those are are very sensitive to everything that is said. I try to read things with a positive note in my head and when something bothers me, I go back and read it again to make sure I have the right take on it. Stormy, everything is cool here. No worries! Sure hope they can find out dad's problem. I can only imagine how he is feeling! My blood count was 19 after a physical when I was in my late 40's and the doctor pulled me off of a stress test 2 minutes in, when he got the results. I nearly passed out because my heart rate shot up to 180 from the exertion. turns out, no major bleeding issue, my body was just not absorbing iron normally. So I took 2 iron tablets every day for the next ten years. Jen, claw marks on toilet paper? Guess that's way better then "skid" marks!!!! I can see Mom on camera and she is awake and holding her breath. Time to roll her over and let her catnap until I have to get her up for daycare. I'm up because gall dang old kitty I took in before X-mas is healthy and happy again and waking me up at 5AM every morning to let him out! I open the door, he sniffs the cold air and turns around and runs right back in the house! Then I can't get back to sleep. Didn't hit the pillow until 12:30, so guess I'll be running on 4 1/2 hours sleep again:(
Karol, Welcome! Yuck! Chew and spit! Nothing makes me gag worse, except for handling Mom's dentures! At this point in her dementia, she has taken up licking, sucking, and chewing on her fingers. Hate it when she grabs me with her wet hands! Have know a few men who carried spit cups and oh boy, that is one of the all time worst "gross outs" You win the grand prize!!!!!
I'm with Deef, Karol. Spit cups are the grossest. Cat I miss your stories about the elk, and quail. What have you been up too? Stormy, what was the MCV on your Dad's CBC results? That can tell you a lot about what is going on. Maybe your sister will admit it is time to put Dad in Assisted living? Wick, I just wanted to say I've been there, with the anger, and wanting to scream. There were times I felt so helpless. I'm sorry about my meltdown. We are all just human. Jen, getting FP in the bath reminds me of bathing my dogs. Love Shirley
Hi. This week I had my brother's dog here for an overnight. He is a tiny little carpet sweeper (hubby's discription). Well, my dog is bigish (65lb lab/shepherd mix) and we have had many a dog over cause both sides of the fam are dog lovers. He is well socialized. Usually doens't take any guff but doesn't' fight either. Well, carpet sweeper gives my dog attitude before he walks in the house (I had them greet outside first cause they haven't seen eachother in a long time). My dog just looks at me....like what the?? My dog comes in, doesn't know what to do so he goes in and gets on my sons bed...only coming out at mealtime or when we went out to walk. All this "stuff" was going on on this thread about the same time...I kept up and read it all but stayed away... just like my dog. Am I like my dog? or is he like me? :)
WHY oh, WHY do they change so much?? My mom refuses to take a bath or shower EVEN if someone helps her...insists that sponge baths are enough even though she spends most of her day gardening in the Texas heat. Constantly has stains on her clothing but wont let me or caregiver go through her closet and launder what needs to be cleaned. Throws morsels of food on the floor for the dog to eat but he doesnt eat it and she steps in it, spreading crumbs, inviting ants. This is so totally NOT the mom I grew up with. Gets offended when caregiver or I try to broach these subjects. Such a fine line to communicate with her...ugh. Ugh.
TSM, Things do tend to get gross don't they! Sounds like your mom is still with it enough to think everything is good they way it is. Try to go easy on her. She just doesn't get it anymore, but is trying to hang on to the belief that she knows what's best. This is typical behavior and trying to reason with her or push her to do something won't work. Maybe invite her to lunch and make a fuss over her to wear something pretty and say let's shower and wash your hair so we can fix it to look nice. Sometimes we have to use our wits to get things done. One thing I have learned for sure after 5 years is that you can't make them do something they don't want too! Good luck Shirley, FP getting washed like the dogs!!! Can't get that picture out of my head!!! Mame, sounds like the dogs are at least surviving. I have 4 cats and another I took in to Mom's apartment for the winter. I haven't been able to afford to get him tested yet, so he is not allowed near my cats. I'm pretty sure he is fine, but just being cautious. We had one female I took in the first year I was home with Mom.Then about a year and a half later we took in another neighborhood stray. He was about 6 months and we kept him on the back porch for 2 days until we could get him to the vet. He was feral, but I was working on him while he was outside, so he was friendly, but very scared. Took him a while to come out in the open and get used to his sister. that fall we took in 2 more that someone had rescued then put outside when she got pregnant. the big guy was sick and skinny and the little one was okay, just flea ridden. they still enjoy terrorizing my tiny female 2 years later, but she is finally comfortable enough to let them have it if she needs to. they are all a constant source of amusement, comfort and much love! They are the reason we put out so many bird feeders this time of the year. Gives them something to watch when sitting in the windows! How's your mom doing? Why don't you
I think these things happen to all of us. My mom plays with her dentures, we make sure she doesn't take them out and lick them (she has done that). We just keep an eye on her when we take her out to eat. She likes to eat out so we do it, but as long as she is not licking them we consider it not so awful.
Just remember it grosses you out, but to them it is considered normal behavior.
Yes, she is still "with it" enough to dig her heels in about things or get offended if anyone suggests something she doesnt like! Lucid and rational sometimes, forgetful and obstinate other times! Gotta take it a day at a time and try to have a sense of humor....gotta remember its harder on her than anyone, especially since she knows she's slowly losing her mental faculties. Tough all the way around....thanks for letting me vent...nice to be in contact with others who can relate!
Hi. Been reading some posts. Just thought I would chime in. Aren't you all thrilled (wink wink). I feel like I am persona non grata( -sp?) on this thread some and I take responsibility for some of that. Not all but some---ok-most. I came on here like a bull in a china shop! And I am sorry. I was going through a really, really rough time with my Mom and Dad and , well, let it rip. Cattails, I thought you were very sweet to me about the whole thing! TY!!! I did not appreciate the "Looks like we have another "Amber whoever" response . I thought that was mean and petty. And , obviously, an inside joke. :o(
That being said (written) - here is MY rant about my Mom- she planned (and I say planned very very very loosely) a surprise party for my Dad who is turning 80. She has dementia. For the last month my sister, brother and I have been trying to hunt down all the stores she called to order food from and all the relatives that sort of got invited on different days. She was bound and determined to have this stupid party though my Dad said "NO PARTY!". So my sister, brother and I have been helping do this thing and it is tomorrow. It has been very hard. Here is an email from my Mom to my sister to give you an idea of what we have been dealing with -
From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.com] Sent: Sunday, February 03, 2013 12:56 PM To: XXXXXXX Subject:
ill ill NN;R. SND bILLNEMRT, S5
Yes,that is my Mom's email. Any idea of what it says? Nope? Me either. *sigh.
BUT- the party will go on. And we WILL have fun. Because after it is all said and done we love our Mom and Dad and that is really all that a party needs- love.
Sharyn, so sorry to hear about your brother's stepson health. Please keep us posted on your mom test results n I am sending you n your family some prayers. Keep us posted how you are holding up. Stormy, I hope they are able to find out why your dad having blood in his tube. Keep us posted on he is doing n yourself too. Prayers r sent your way as well. It just seem we all r going through a lot these past few months. Come on spring time! Bobbie, Well spoken n I too came here all alone n not knowing if their was anyone else in a similar situation that, understood what I was going through day-by-day. This is a great forum that u got started for we all can relate some way or another.
Here goes today but it's not gross just frustration. I had to go pre-registry for my surgery next wk n it took us 3 freaking hrs! Why? Of course, the caregiver-me has to have more than one illness so, as I went to speak with the Nurse for Anesthesia, she had to get a fax from my heart dr that I was okay since last Dec. Of course, she said being my records that were sent from my heart specialist stated that I had congestive heart-failure that I would have to get an x-ray n ekg before I had the surgery with them. Plus, I had to get lab-work. I just got poke 2 days ago for a fasting prograf lab if I only knew that would had been one less poke for they only can do one arm due to my fistula is still n my right arm. I can see why they needed to take precautions. I mean, diabetes type1, post kidney transplant, lupus sle n I guess they keep that congestive heart failure on the books. I do take heart meds but I passed my last Ekg n the stress test so go figure. Anyway, done with all that, the mil did pretty good with all that running around n I treated her to her favorite place, the Waffle House. So, as for now I am still set for the roid surgery. I knew I was a pain in the ass but literally. I am tired, n pain n dizzy n to br honest, I will be glad when this surgery is over! Everyone don't forget to take time to breath.
Mishka: Glad to hear from you. Hope you stay on board.
Lildeb: I don't know how you do it with everything you have to cope with. I will be keeping you in my prayers for sure!!! Let us know the date and time of your surgery so we can all be sending a little white light your way.
Meanwhile: The elk have been visiting. The bulls usually show up in December and hang out in our area. I haven't seen them today, but they're not far away. About a mile and a half from our house is the highway, just two lanes and it is the only way in and out of our little town. Years back, the city put up warning lights that flash when the elk are close to the highway. Fish and game darted some of the bulls and cows in order to put electronic collars on them. The collars set off the flashing highway lights when the elk are within a mile of the road. There hasn't been an elk vs car incident in years as a result.
There is a group of geese that have been visiting the pond. I'm hoping it is part of the family that had their babies here last year. We'll see if we get babies again this year.
Our bird population is thriving. Quail everywhere along with a vast assortment of other birds. We have two hummingbirds who have stayed through the winter and we keep their feeders full.
Linda: I'm truly sorry for all the sad things happening in your family. You take care of yourself and your hubby.
I check the You thread every once in a while to see how Jam is doing. She seems to be having a very difficult time. Been in the hospital with stomach problems and I believe pneumonia too. She been readmitting due to stomach issues. My heart goes out to her. She is truly grief stricken and clearly suffering. Maybe everyone can say a prayer for her.
I've been struggling along. In and out of the black hole. It's grief, pure and simple. I didn't expect it to be like this, but I think when you start to experience it, it's not just one thing. I never had a chance to grieve my mom. When she passed, I still had my dad and I felt helpless to relieve his grief. Of course, that wasn't my job or within my power, but it broke my heart to know he was so sad and to see his tears. I find I am now missing my dear soul mate (dog), Kate, who passed in 2006, while my mom was undergoing cancer surgery. I miss my sweet Sky, (another dog) who died a couple of weeks before we brought my dad home from rehab to live with us. I guess we often suppress painful things when we have to take care of others. When they are gone, it all makes it's way to the surface, bit by bit.
A friend gave me a book, a birthday gift, on grief. It's called "Unattended Sorrow", by Stephen Levine. I'll give you all a review when I have read it.
Deef, you and I are just fine. In fact, I'm fine with everyone.
Well, I can here the geese coming in for a landing. Love to see them glide into the pond.
Dkje, Last time we were at the casino buffet, I looked up and saw a perfectly sane elder take her teeth out and lick them off at the table! Thought I was going to hurl everything I had just eaten. Needless to say, I didn't go back for more after that! Jen, Very funny!!! I'll send you some wipes. I always have them on hand! Mishka, how sweet is that! Mo has enough presence of mind to want to throw a party for her husband! Love the e-mail and hope you tracked down all the food and cake orders. If you have any extras, send them our way! LilDeb, doesn't autoimmune disease just suck! there are so many aspects of it and you never know when another side of the disease will take over another part of your body. I don't know how you can deal with all that and your mil too! I know you have both Raynauds and urticaria like me. I get tested for rheumatoid arthritis and lupus every year and I have had Gerd since I was a teenager. It's no fun when your own body decides to attack itself! try to get some rest before the surgery so you won't be too tired. You don't want to make the recovery any harder. Do you have problems with anesthesia and pain meds? Both make me very ill and I can only take one or two pain pills for the first 2 days, then I have to stop and suck it up on my own. Like cat said, let us know the date and time so we can think good thoughts for you! Mame,I like your style! How's mom been doing? Cat, you have a regular zoo going there! Do you take pictures of all the wildlife? I'd be out there every day getting as many as I could! You could edit them and make framed prints to sell. Not many of us is lucky enough to get an opportunity like that. I just love digital photography! Take a bad picture, fix it! Can't fix it? delete it! No film, no developing. Store them on your computer and look at them whenever you want! So fun and easy! Although I do admit to screwing up when it comes to the menu on my camera. I always forget what buttons to push and how to find the flash etc. Miss some good photo ops that way! My dad belonged to a camera club in town when we were little. He used the four oldest of us 7 as models all the time. It was fun to watch him develop them in the cellar. He used to let us use the wooden tongs to take the finish pictures out of the solution tray, then we would hang them from clips over the bathtub to dry. Now that was real family time! We didn't own a TV until I was 10 years old. My dad never really cooked a lot, but on Saturday nights he would get out the big yellow Pyrex bowl and the old hand crank style egg beater and whip us up a big old batch of eggnog! He always let each one of us take a turn with the beater and sprinkling a bit of nutmeg. What happened to those days? Okay, didn't mean to go off on a tangent! Talking about taking pictures just brought up memories I hadn't thought about in years. To bad dad had to die so young, He would have loved to done those those things with his grandchildren and great grandchildren.:( Okay, can't see through my tears. Later!
It's OK Deef ... those black, white & sepia memories ... photos hanging from clothespins in my dark room ... Love digital but miss true photography sans photoshop.
Dang ... teach me to try & post again. Added stuff about family stuff which no longer exists, the big yellow bowl, warm summer nights where we all relaxed ... hand cranked anything - everything back then ...
tell me the difference of Analog & Digital. I'll share a dream when we lost party lines to private lines back in the Ma Bell days. Anyone else miss those simpler days?
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Sorry about Sheba L.
Hey Christina, how are things in Cali? It is snow-raining here now but I saw robins so Spring is coming...
Was bath night here:
he got himself out of tub. a big no- no
"You couldn't wait?"
"NO I couldn't, it's too damn cold in here!"
" Daddy it's 80 degrees in here..."
"Well it feels like 20 to me!"
"Right 20 degrees there ice in the bathtub!"
"Well if there was, I would just say to Hell with it!" Like he has not been saying that all along...mhnmm
He didn't say anything after moms parting...
"Well if you are gonna live here you are gonna get a bath!"
mmhmmnnn
A lot of crime locally, seems to be a trend.
Weekend almost here, doesn't mean anything, just the passage of time...
Hope all is well where ever you are. Jen
Since I am still talking on, beyond what I wanted to really say, let me just say to BOOKWORM, that I am truly sorry for dumping on you. I miss seeing you post on GO and I don't feel like I can if you can't. It was never about you Book, it was just that I was in pain and I was feeling Jen's pain and just wanted the world to stop hurting. It's not Jen's fault. It's not your fault. It just is what it is. I'm learning something from this and I hope you are too, Book. Sometimes we just have to forgive. I would like your forgiveness and I would appreciate the understanding of others. I guess I am a wild card, but I am no less sincere or willing to walk through hot coals than anyone else.
Love to everyone, Cat.
My husband spent most of the day with his dad. he is fine, just got a bit dizzy upon rising this morning and fell. Once again he has to remember to eat more protein and less carbs. he ate a light supper, 2 slices of bread with one slice of cold cut and that was at 4;30. then he had some donut holes at 7:30. he goes to bed around ten and gets up between 7 and 8, so that's not enough to keep his blood sugar level until morning. My sil just wants to believe that everything is shutting down because of his age and refuses to believe that his diet is the culprit. She went out and bought him 2 muffins this afternoon! just what he needs, sweets and carbs! Told my husband that he would have to go every afternoon and evening to make sure he ate enough. FIL is 102, but not stupid and by no means senile. I think he would eat more if someone was there to encourage him. So I guess I will be cooking some for him now too! that's okay, as long as it makes him feel better. Just wished my sil would listen!
Jen, FP is lucky he didn't fall and break his neck! Sorry!
Cat I miss beats all the time, but being a middle child, well, second oldest of 7, I was pretty much on my own and learned to keep my pain to myself. I have endured a lot over the years and find the best way for me to work through my problems is to help others get through their tough times. My Mom's mother, my Meme always called me happy go lucky and in a way I am because I didn't get the depression and panic attacks that most of my sibs have problems with. I have my moments and I disappear so that I don't take things out on anyone else. I don't want to be "top dog" or leader of the pack. Too much responsibility in that. that's one lesson I learned from my dad. He used to always tell us never look down on anyone because they are less fortunate, or not as smart or pretty, because you could be in their shoes someday. I tried to raise my daughter that way too. Respect is very important. Disrespect for no reason is not cool and it is the one thing I will call someone out on.
It happens here a lot, and mostly because the person lashing out is over worked, over stressed and over tired. That I can ignore. It's blatant disrespect coming from someone with real anger issues that will get my back up. I am in no way referring to you. Your post is very sincere and I hope you can understand where all of us are coming from on this thread.
We are not on here for attention or to outdo each other in the # of posts we write or whether we remember to mention everyone in our comments every time we post. I write notes and still forget to mention someone. It doesn't mean I care any less, it just means my plate is full and I honestly forget. I know we can't all make everyone who has been on this thread happy, with over 500 posters, that would be impossible! I too have questioned myself when my posts go unanswered, but then I think of all the crap going on in everyone's lives and I know they are thinking of me, just not when posting.
What I'm trying to say is thank you for the great post. it means more than just an apology and I think you finally get what this thread is about. It's not about any one person's ego or wants or needs. it's about the well being of all of us and what we can and have learned from each other. There is a lot of love on this thread and not just words that anyone can say to make them look good. It has to come from the heart without expectations of rewards and accolades. Sincerity, know what I mean?
I hope everyone sticks around for the long haul. We need all of you and we are here for each other. the long timers know exactly what I mean without explaining. there is no fake love or words here. We are just a bunch of tired, worn out, and washed up care givers trying to get some solace from people who really care!
Meds kicking in! need to get to bed. Night everyone, and again, thank you Cat for writing what you did!
watch some Rumpole of the Baily from Library here... night deef...Good Friday all..
Deef, you are a good woman. I don't think any of us on the GO thread are not good women. We have been through lots of stuff and will continue to do so. Tomorrow is another day and the day after that.
Much is ahead for all of us. Out of this reality and in to the next.
Jen: Clawmarks on the TP role?
Cat
Jen- thanks, sending you hugs.
The last I heard on dad was that they were doing a xray and ct scan of his stomach and that they could not see where he was losing blood from his stomach. They have been doing more blood work, urine and stool sample. I think tomorrow they are going to check for the upper GI and see if something is bleeding there. And sis just texted me and said that he was on his last blood transfusion. I don't know how many they have given him. They said that they didn't see any blood in his stool sample. So I guess maybe we will find out something tomorrow. Love and hugs to all Stormy
I feel like I live with contradictions all the time. I want to be the best person possible, but then I feel like I fall short. I guess that is what human is all about.
Hugs to all my imperfect friends (especially me) Cat.
Stormy, everything is cool here. No worries! Sure hope they can find out dad's problem. I can only imagine how he is feeling! My blood count was 19 after a physical when I was in my late 40's and the doctor pulled me off of a stress test 2 minutes in, when he got the results. I nearly passed out because my heart rate shot up to 180 from the exertion. turns out, no major bleeding issue, my body was just not absorbing iron normally. So I took 2 iron tablets every day for the next ten years.
Jen, claw marks on toilet paper? Guess that's way better then "skid" marks!!!!
I can see Mom on camera and she is awake and holding her breath. Time to roll her over and let her catnap until I have to get her up for daycare.
I'm up because gall dang old kitty I took in before X-mas is healthy and happy again and waking me up at 5AM every morning to let him out! I open the door, he sniffs the cold air and turns around and runs right back in the house! Then I can't get back to sleep. Didn't hit the pillow until 12:30, so guess I'll be running on 4 1/2 hours sleep again:(
Cat I miss your stories about the elk, and quail. What have you been up too?
Stormy, what was the MCV on your Dad's CBC results? That can tell you a lot about what is going on. Maybe your sister will admit it is time to put Dad in Assisted living?
Wick, I just wanted to say I've been there, with the anger, and wanting to scream. There were times I felt so helpless. I'm sorry about my meltdown. We are all just human.
Jen, getting FP in the bath reminds me of bathing my dogs.
Love Shirley
Shirley, FP getting washed like the dogs!!! Can't get that picture out of my head!!!
Mame, sounds like the dogs are at least surviving. I have 4 cats and another I took in to Mom's apartment for the winter. I haven't been able to afford to get him tested yet, so he is not allowed near my cats. I'm pretty sure he is fine, but just being cautious. We had one female I took in the first year I was home with Mom.Then about a year and a half later we took in another neighborhood stray. He was about 6 months and we kept him on the back porch for 2 days until we could get him to the vet. He was feral, but I was working on him while he was outside, so he was friendly, but very scared. Took him a while to come out in the open and get used to his sister. that fall we took in 2 more that someone had rescued then put outside when she got pregnant. the big guy was sick and skinny and the little one was okay, just flea ridden. they still enjoy terrorizing my tiny female 2 years later, but she is finally comfortable enough to let them have it if she needs to. they are all a constant source of amusement, comfort and much love!
They are the reason we put out so many bird feeders this time of the year. Gives them something to watch when sitting in the windows!
How's your mom doing?
Why don't you
Just remember it grosses you out, but to them it is considered normal behavior.
Skid marks are ON the toilet seat deef....I want Clorox Wipes to be my sponsor
That being said (written) - here is MY rant about my Mom- she planned (and I say planned very very very loosely) a surprise party for my Dad who is turning 80. She has dementia. For the last month my sister, brother and I have been trying to hunt down all the stores she called to order food from and all the relatives that sort of got invited on different days. She was bound and determined to have this stupid party though my Dad said "NO PARTY!". So my sister, brother and I have been helping do this thing and it is tomorrow. It has been very hard. Here is an email from my Mom to my sister to give you an idea of what we have been dealing with -
From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.com]
Sent: Sunday, February 03, 2013 12:56 PM
To: XXXXXXX
Subject:
ill ill NN;R. SND bILLNEMRT, S5
Yes,that is my Mom's email. Any idea of what it says? Nope? Me either. *sigh.
BUT- the party will go on. And we WILL have fun. Because after it is all said and done we love our Mom and Dad and that is really all that a party needs- love.
right?
*sigh
Stormy, I hope they are able to find out why your dad having blood in his tube. Keep us posted on he is doing n yourself too. Prayers r sent your way as well. It just seem we all r going through a lot these past few months. Come on spring time!
Bobbie, Well spoken n I too came here all alone n not knowing if their was anyone else in a similar situation that, understood what I was going through day-by-day. This is a great forum that u got started for we all can relate some way or another.
Here goes today but it's not gross just frustration. I had to go pre-registry for my surgery next wk n it took us 3 freaking hrs! Why? Of course, the caregiver-me has to have more than one illness so, as I went to speak with the Nurse for Anesthesia, she had to get a fax from my heart dr that I was okay since last Dec. Of course, she said being my records that were sent from my heart specialist stated that I had congestive heart-failure that I would have to get an x-ray n ekg before I had the surgery with them. Plus, I had to get lab-work. I just got poke 2 days ago for a fasting prograf lab if I only knew that would had been one less poke for they only can do one arm due to my fistula is still n my right arm. I can see why they needed to take precautions. I mean, diabetes type1, post kidney transplant, lupus sle n I guess they keep that congestive heart failure on the books. I do take heart meds but I passed my last Ekg n the stress test so go figure. Anyway, done with all that, the mil did pretty good with all that running around n I treated her to her favorite place, the Waffle House. So, as for now I am still set for the roid surgery. I knew I was a pain in the ass but literally. I am tired, n pain n dizzy n to br honest, I will be glad when this surgery is over!
Everyone don't forget to take time to breath.
Lildeb: I don't know how you do it with everything you have to cope with. I will be keeping you in my prayers for sure!!! Let us know the date and time of your surgery so we can all be sending a little white light your way.
Meanwhile: The elk have been visiting. The bulls usually show up in December and hang out in our area. I haven't seen them today, but they're not far away. About a mile and a half from our house is the highway, just two lanes and it is the only way in and out of our little town. Years back, the city put up warning lights that flash when the elk are close to the highway. Fish and game darted some of the bulls and cows in order to put electronic collars on them. The collars set off the flashing highway lights when the elk are within a mile of the road. There hasn't been an elk vs car incident in years as a result.
There is a group of geese that have been visiting the pond. I'm hoping it is part of the family that had their babies here last year. We'll see if we get babies again this year.
Our bird population is thriving. Quail everywhere along with a vast assortment of other birds. We have two hummingbirds who have stayed through the winter and we keep their feeders full.
Linda: I'm truly sorry for all the sad things happening in your family. You take care of yourself and your hubby.
I check the You thread every once in a while to see how Jam is doing. She seems to be having a very difficult time. Been in the hospital with stomach problems and I believe pneumonia too. She been readmitting due to stomach issues. My heart goes out to her. She is truly grief stricken and clearly suffering. Maybe everyone can say a prayer for her.
I've been struggling along. In and out of the black hole. It's grief, pure and simple. I didn't expect it to be like this, but I think when you start to experience it, it's not just one thing. I never had a chance to grieve my mom. When she passed, I still had my dad and I felt helpless to relieve his grief. Of course, that wasn't my job or within my power, but it broke my heart to know he was so sad and to see his tears. I find I am now missing my dear soul mate (dog), Kate, who passed in 2006, while my mom was undergoing cancer surgery. I miss my sweet Sky, (another dog) who died a couple of weeks before we brought my dad home from rehab to live with us. I guess we often suppress painful things when we have to take care of others. When they are gone, it all makes it's way to the surface, bit by bit.
A friend gave me a book, a birthday gift, on grief. It's called "Unattended Sorrow", by Stephen Levine. I'll give you all a review when I have read it.
Deef, you and I are just fine. In fact, I'm fine with everyone.
Well, I can here the geese coming in for a landing. Love to see them glide into the pond.
Sending love and white light to everyone.
Cattails
I can (hear) the geese coming in for a landing.
Probably more, but I'm done counting.
Cat
Jen, Very funny!!! I'll send you some wipes. I always have them on hand!
Mishka, how sweet is that! Mo has enough presence of mind to want to throw a party for her husband! Love the e-mail and hope you tracked down all the food and cake orders. If you have any extras, send them our way!
LilDeb, doesn't autoimmune disease just suck! there are so many aspects of it and you never know when another side of the disease will take over another part of your body. I don't know how you can deal with all that and your mil too! I know you have both Raynauds and urticaria like me. I get tested for rheumatoid arthritis and lupus every year and I have had Gerd since I was a teenager. It's no fun when your own body decides to attack itself! try to get some rest before the surgery so you won't be too tired. You don't want to make the recovery any harder. Do you have problems with anesthesia and pain meds? Both make me very ill and I can only take one or two pain pills for the first 2 days, then I have to stop and suck it up on my own. Like cat said, let us know the date and time so we can think good thoughts for you!
Mame,I like your style! How's mom been doing?
Cat, you have a regular zoo going there! Do you take pictures of all the wildlife? I'd be out there every day getting as many as I could! You could edit them and make framed prints to sell. Not many of us is lucky enough to get an opportunity like that. I just love digital photography! Take a bad picture, fix it! Can't fix it? delete it! No film, no developing. Store them on your computer and look at them whenever you want! So fun and easy! Although I do admit to screwing up when it comes to the menu on my camera. I always forget what buttons to push and how to find the flash etc. Miss some good photo ops that way!
My dad belonged to a camera club in town when we were little. He used the four oldest of us 7 as models all the time. It was fun to watch him develop them in the cellar. He used to let us use the wooden tongs to take the finish pictures out of the solution tray, then we would hang them from clips over the bathtub to dry. Now that was real family time! We didn't own a TV until I was 10 years old.
My dad never really cooked a lot, but on Saturday nights he would get out the big yellow Pyrex bowl and the old hand crank style egg beater and whip us up a big old batch of eggnog! He always let each one of us take a turn with the beater and sprinkling a bit of nutmeg. What happened to those days?
Okay, didn't mean to go off on a tangent! Talking about taking pictures just brought up memories I hadn't thought about in years. To bad dad had to die so young, He would have loved to done those those things with his grandchildren and great grandchildren.:(
Okay, can't see through my tears. Later!
Love digital but miss true photography sans photoshop.
Added stuff about family stuff which no longer exists, the big yellow bowl, warm summer nights where we all relaxed ... hand cranked anything - everything back then ...
tell me the difference of Analog & Digital. I'll share a dream when we lost party lines to private lines back in the Ma Bell days.
Anyone else miss those simpler days?