Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Have mommy go face the doctor's staff herself! I believe you are stuck by the phone & unable to do it yourself. Could the grandpa call the office himself? I bet he might offer some choice words.
speaking of Poop Soup ~ the morning paper had a brief about Volkswagen introducing a new car that runs on ... you guessed it ... human waste. I thought of us all powering our vehicles on parent poop. The Carp & Cruise might be a reality after all!
Hi Everybody! I hope everybody has had a great day! Sorry, this may be a l-o-n-g one.
deefer, glad that the colonoscopy is over for you! Hope you got some rest today! Yes service animals are allowed to go everywhere with their master or mistress, unless it's a private residence, which is what I was thinking about. The ONLY place that we could POSSIBLY move to is in with my 85 year old, ULTRA clean Mother. She hasn't offered & has even said that we'll probably have to rent, although at $475. per month, our house payment is less than anywhere we could rent. Anyway, if it comes right down to not having a roof over our heads, I'll beg Mother to let us stay with her, but Shelbie & Gracie (dilute calico kitty) won't be welcome! Don't get me wrong, I do love my Mother. She's just 85, set in her ways & a VERY negative person, at best!!! Saturday afternoon Larry & I went to visit her & e were both very ready to leave after about an hour. Shame! We could be there for each other. Now you know why I've said that we don't have anywhere else to go. None of the rest of the family have room for us. About adult day care, Larry is a very private person & won't go because he's afraid he'll have a potty accident ( tinkles on his clothes while trying to pull them down) while he's there. At least if he's here he can change clothes & maintain his dignity...he's only 62. We change clothes & mop the bathroom floor alot. I will talk to him about him going again & see if he's changed his mind. We can hope so! It would do him good to get out more while he still can. Getting him in & out of the car is such a bear & I'm always scared he'll fall & I won't be able to get him up.
Jsomebody, glad that Cleo is doing fine! Do you think that her claws will grow back? I hate when kitties are declawed at the vet...it's really an amputation as they remove to the first knuckle. Had that done to one of my cats before I knew what the surgery really was. Please don't think that I'm downing you if yours have been declawed, I'm not...I do understand. J, I know that you were really stressing when you told your Mom to bite you! Things will get better. And that was a great idea to pick up the alum. cans! We have several people who usually walk the roads around here & take the cans to the recycler.
Tennessee, fart pants grumpus...LOL!
Rip, Larry has had a pretty good day. The tremors have been pretty bad & he's shuffling more, but he wasn't in as much pain, which is good. He exerts a lot of energy with the tremors & stays very tired most of the time. Sometimes he sleeps pretty good & other times, not so much. Never know how it's gonna be from day to day. He's getting to where he's staying in bed more & more, which concerns me. I know what you mean about the phone systems...they bite! I hate when you're almost where you need to be & then you get disconnected. Poop soup...now I've heard everything...LOL! I hope you'll start being able to sleep all night & not wake up & not be able to go back to sleep. You need your rest! Good idea about the newspaper. Someone else suggested that to me today, too. We will need to have a ramp built, but I was waiting to see where we'd be before contacting anyone. The First Baptist Church, here, has a group of men that will build ramps for the disabled. Great ministry! I had heard that there are some companies, like Comcast, that offer inhome jobs, just not sure how to go about finding one. Someone had told me that Apple Computers does that, too. Suggestions? Yay on the steam cleaner! Let us know how that works out. I tried to use one once upon a time...I screwed it up big time...the carpet took forever to dry...it's funny now! I have hugged Shelbie for you & she had the biggest grin on her face! She is such a sweetheart! Whenever I cry, which is a lot these days, she will come to me like she does Larry to try to comfort me! What would we do without her?? Hopefully we won't have to find out. We found her online at PetFinder.com & went to visit with her & fell in love! She was about 2 years old & had been rescued by the pound & sent to the Humane Society close to Atlanta. She only weighed 42 lbs...she now weighs a hefty 95lbs...and she had massive bite marks & bruises all over her. There's no telling what that poor baby had endured before she was rescued. I couldn't leave her there, regardless if she would make a good service dog or not, so she came home with us! We took her to the vet & got her on some good food & started the bonding process. She had to be evaluated by 4 different groups to see her temperment, personality, agility, smarts, etc. before we could begin her service dog training. She passed all evaluations with flying colors! Then we began the training at a facility, that luckily, was only about an hour away. The training was wonderful!!! It was mainly for Larry & Shelbie, but I got to learn, too so I can keep up with her training. We still have to go walk on different surfaces from time to time, walk around clothing racks, open umbrellas around her, etc. You never know what's gonna happen so it's better to be prepared. I need to change me profile photo to one of her. Can you tell I'm smitten?!?! "And They Called it Puppy Love..."
Bobbie, Rip tells me that you really did get your boat! WOW!!! I am SSSSOOOOO happy for you!!!!! I love when dreams become reality! I'll do whatever you need me to do on the boat, just name it! Congratulations!
I do have some good news...We had a friend to come over this afternoon, to help us decide what options we have about the house & me getting a job. Sometimes it helps having a clear mind to help you...Thanks again to all of you guys!!! Your encouragement & thoughts have helped me to make it through the past few days! Larry's not so good at understanding these days & I've been too emotional. Anyway, the friend is going to help me find a job...he's been at his company for 38 years, and he told us NOT to worry about losing the house, that he wouldn't let that happen!!! Didn't say how, but I'm gonna trust...don't have a choice! He said that worry is counter-productive & that we would plan & work it out together & again, not to worry. He & Larry started 1st grade together! And Shelbie LOVES him!!! Will keep you posted.
Again, I am sorry that this is so long! I promise to try to be better in the future!
If I don't get t talk to you again, tonight, hope y'all will have a wonderful, restful, uneventful night! Love, K : )
Very Stressed ... you dont ever feel you need to apologise here! Especially for speaking your thoughts! where else do we have? I don't think I'm alone for saying that. You've read some of my long winded posts when it seems no one else in the world cares! Then you are here ... among a new family that shares so much.
Last night I was wishing I had been more proactive with the Red Cat Society & K9 Express. When I think of the thousands of lonely seniors in small apts. where a cat would be welcome ... except the person's disability prevents it ... I wanna cry!
My fluffy, rescue Calico Lacey spent 2 years at my shop, then a year at home when the shop caught fire. Dad's lady friend, Helen, decided she wanted a Calico kitty. I was leery since Lacey was very independent ... but I took the chance.
Helen & Lacey turned out to be a perfect match! Both independent & fiesty. Lacey cared for Helen for 4 years during her slow death. Dad was there to tend to the litter box & ensure Lacey's dish was full. What a team!
Lacey is home with me again, frolicking in the yard, still very active. Helen is deeply missed ... but I know Lace would never have sacrificed her indoor apt. with Helen for anything else. They were the world to each other. I thought I spoiled my cats!
Mom made the call, app, set, grandpa had no idea he needed one, thought everything was fine, but he also doesn't know Monday from Saturday...
Listening to Christmas Music on Youtube here. Because I like to. Not religious, just like Christmas.
Mother does not approve of my writing on the site, I can tell by her ignoring me mentioning it and looking away. Like I am exposing family secrets to strangers...Well yes I am. The whole back drop for an abusive family setting IS isolation and exclusivity. And thinking nothing is wrong here....
Mother scorning you? You are 39 ~ she should find her own relief online. Might help her own demons. I hope you have a personal computer b/c we would miss you if she pulls the plug.
HMM should we claim to be staying on topic of stressed out care givers by using The Jet Blue Emergency Chute Sliding Slater. Who hasn't been crabbed at, hit, cursed, disgusted by the actions of their charges here. Granted it isn't like flying the friendly skies, where one is likely to be tazered for opening a mini Kleenex packet too quickly, but who hasn't wondered where the emergency exit is?
A national hero for refusing to be an abused lackey, or a selfish whiner who "could have endangered others with his actions?
I don't think my mother would say "no computer". After last months "incident" I think she has realized I am both all she has and not going to put up with everything she unloads on me on top of the 24/7 burdens I have to live under caring for HER father. And if she loves him so much, why do I have to push the wheel chair EVERY TIME. I mean she got pissed when she had to push him that ONE time, because I had the shopping list and coupons and a return item, otherwise no go.???
Jsomebody, I agree with Rip, that we would miss you very much if she pulled the plug! Please don't let her bully you. I understand the family abuse problem, too. And this is a safe way to air the family laundry. We gotta have an outlet!!!
Rip, thank you for your encouragement! You're right, that it seems sometimes that no one cares! I have ladies that I thought were friends that avoid me now, because all I have to talk about is my husband & the financial thing. Right now, that's all I know.
Maybe you can still do the Red Cat Society & K9 Express...love the names! It would be a win, win, win!!! Helen & Lacey were prime examples. I love good memories.
I'm sorry that you had a fire! I'm glad that you were ok! What kind of shop was it, if you don't mind me asking?
I am so thankful for this site & you ladies...all of you!
Hello again Streesed ... After years of being in crisis intervention & having my heart break ... check Tennesse's wall & you'll see my past - I decided to pursue a life of shallow. HaHaHaHahaaaaaa - I took my artistic abilities & zero business knowledge & opened a sign shop with my piddling retirement fund. $1,500. for the deposit on my shop. I was single & had nothing to lose.
That was 1987 & I still make signs. The commercial space caught fire on Halloween night several years ago. A wall heater was my demise. My landlord always promised a new heating system ... he passed away 2 weeks prior. I had turned it on briefly for a meeting with architects. I was certain it was off before I left at 6 PM. Next thing my phone was ringing at 6 AM from a fire fighter friend saying the cats were OK but my 'squirrel cage' heater had lit the shop! HUH? I plowed my way from sleep, checked on Dad & found my life of 18 years soaking in 3" of water! Thanks to the sprinkler system which did it's job.
It was traumatic ... I relocated the shop cat to my home 1 mile away ... but several returned to the devastated shop. Once I had all of them here they were happy. Not easy. Insurance company was tepid ... they came in, "washed" all equipment & materials that were sent to an 'ozone cleansing' facility & I ended up with 97 boxes of misc. stuff. A paper cutter would occupy one box. Drafting pencils were dumped in another. Not to mention my huge drafting tables & office furniture.
OK - that nightmare is over. My sign business it on haitus as I care for Dad full time. The equipment works, but I can't do it all. Many of my 20+ year clients have bit the dust due to the economy. I have several clients still needing signs, like the MonroeFunnyFarm & I hope to direct my graphic ability to anima; works.
I got a truck load of toys back,they have been holding hostage,don't know whats out there yet.The lawyer showed up with his video camera,my brother did not show up,he hired someone to do it.The guy that I got to represent me said that after the lawyer left they started talking and the guy working for my brother was saying how my brothers screwed me over after takeing care of everything,he asked him 'well if you know this then why did you not say anything''.he said they were some seriously mean boys and he was afraid what they would do,then he went on to say about the lawyer brother connections and power and the problems he could cause someone.Then he said the guy said, 'its ashame, its all about greed and drugs.'What?whose doing the drugs--Am I doing the drugs?He said that he thought he was referring to my brother,the one that sued me that didn't come to his own fathers funeral.Said he got his eye on those big old trees.My dad always called this Gods Country,He always asked me why I would want to go anywhere,when I was in the best place I could be.It is amazing to me the misuse of power and how they get by with it.I guess having a title gives you the right to be above the law,I guess the law only applys to the little people.Now I'm wondering if my brother has a drug problem.Drugs can take a asshole and make them a bigger asshole.My closest neighbors have been very supportive.I know the south has a reputation for racial crap,but my black neighbors have spoken up for me and my dad the most,My white neighbors are the ones that have let me down,that are scared,not all,just some.My dad had a lot of respect around here ,too bad he didn't get it from his sons.Here in the country,we have white people,black people and a hand full of MEXICANS,you don't have the variety of people like you do in the city.
oh. Tennessee ... is it like a John Grishom book there really? What has become of this country??? I always thought honesty & honor was the best thing we have going.
Did you se my earlier post about high level people offering me drugs as a tip? I laughed off their offers ... but wonder how many people are seriously involved.
It really makes me happy that my attorney, money motivated, brother is far away, not contacting us, while my father remains a true gentleman. Disappointed with his 'super son'.
Very stressed,I understand and know those woman that don't want to hear about financial problems and illness.When everything is great and you can do favors they are your friends, otherwise they are not.Some people really hurt my feelings others I was shocked by there humanity.I guess something good comes out of the worst situation. Boy Rip, that fire story was tragic. I quit my little business to take care of my dad and stuff. I was a grower, I grew things,I sold groundcover wholesale to nurseries.My brother is also taking the remnants left of my business.Time to do something elese,just don't know what yet. J-I hope they don't pull your plug also.
The hero of the day: Verystressed's friend! (The one who wants to help her find a job, who says that he will not allow that she loses her home, who tells her to think "positive", the one that Shelbie loves). (BTW, please, Verystressed, give us a kind of name or nickname by which we can call you... I feel funny to say: Ehi, Verystressed, how are you?) I feel with my antennae that this is the man, the messenger of Upthere (either you believe in God or not, there certainly are some positive forces Upthere) who will help you get out of the mess! Stick to him like an oyster to its pebble! (excuse me for my hateful choice of words, English is not my mother tongue and I sweat to write these posts hoping I manage to convey what I want to say) Jen you are great! You are so smart. Don't let "them" have you! A big hug to Cleo. Her trip to the vet was more important than the trip to the vet of your grandfather. Tennessee, yes maybe your brother has drug problems, but sometimes people get very nasty even if they do not have drug problems, mostly when money is involved. How's your daughter? When are you coming to Italy? Pirate, I love you because you have the courage to say upfront the same things that I feel during my Beastly days. I had one of my beastly days today. I wake up wishing to make a slaughter including my mother, my brother, even my beloved animals! And take a bag and leave for anywhere, with no return. Tonight I was violent with my mother. She has only one kidney (they removed one of them last year) and she has to drink a lot, to survive. Only, she never wants to drink, and every damn sip of water she drinks, you have to explain to her why she has to drink (on average: 1000 times a day). So tonight I said: "Mamma, drink that f**king water or we shall have to go to the f**king hospital"! (I said it in Italian, of course). She looked at me with her eyes wide open, but she drank two full glasses of water. Maybe I should use that technique more often. I am very tough sometimes, this is my real nature maybe. Yesterday one of you (don't remember who, sorry, if I go back to look, I lose all my message) said that her mother thinks she has a baby every day and that you hide her babies in the attic, more or less. Well, I'd like to have a new little brother or sister every day. Maybe they could help me somehow! Forgive me, your story made me laugh. I know "we" will reach that stage very soon, a few months maybe. Rip you are so sweet, you would never think or say such things. I love everyone of you and if I have not mentioned all of you it is just because this post is already too long. Bobbie, my mops are ready to polish the floor! Thank you for being close to us even if you have so many things to do. Goodnite to everyone!
RIP,did not read John Grishoms book,but it was about lawyers and corruption,wasn't it.Outsiders being corrupt is one thing,but your own family using low down,tactics to screw you up is a little to close to home.The way they portrayed my dad was so disrespectful and wrong,it scares me and makes me mad as hell.It makes me think they don't believe in GOD anymore and aren't worried about their souls which is sad to me.THe drugs for tips offer was it in the 70's or 80's. Stressed out- I hope everyting turns around for you about your house,I know the thought of losing ones home is terrifying-Bankers are right up there with lawyers.My dad always said some people aren't happy unless they are trying to make you miserable.My brothers don't care about animals,but my dad loved all of Gods creatures-how can my brothers be so different than my dad.
Rossella,I did the same thing with my dad,but it was a B.B.QUE SANDWICH.It took me 2 hours to go get his favorite B..BQUE,then he decided not to eat or drink and like you say dehydration was a problem.I did not get the positive results you did.I would like to take her over on her 12th birthday-her dad was twelve when he went over and it was a highlight of his life,I have to get taxes paid first,I'm starting to get the nasty letters.She will be 11 soon.You know we came over on boats to escape those taxes,something went wrong.I just learned lewis and Clark were lawyers. RIP, whos the new pup in the picture.
Ok see you next year. I'll ask my friends who have children of the same age to give me advice on places where your kid can enjoy herself... Let's make her have a nice trip!
Good morning everyone! Rossella, I can be a b!tch to Mom too! It's so hard that sometimes I just snap!! You are right. It's the repeating yourself over and over and over----- that's the most aggravating to us and them. Mom will just sit there and act like she doesn't hear me, so I talk louder. Then she shushes me and says she's not deaf and be quiet, do I want the neighbors to hear. I know she can't help herself some of the time, but a lot of the time, she is playing me on purpose!! By the way, your writing is perfect. Is you hadn't told us where you are from, we would not be able to tell. Give kitty a hug, and try to have a good day! Kathy
Tennessee, So sorry for all your troubles! There are some real dogs out there. You are a very strong person and have a great daughter. I have no doubt that you will land on your feet and get your life back in order. I'm sure all of your good friends and neighbors will be there for you too. Good luck! Rip, You have been through some major sh!t and survived! You are an inspiration to us all. You have a great business sense and when the time is right, you'll get back out there with your wonderful ideas. I got an application for a local fall craft show and have decided to take the plunge. I did the local high school X-mas fair last year and did well. It had been quite a while since I had been on the craft scene. I spent the winter months knitting and hand felting handbags. I have become a yarn snob! My younger sister works in a yarn store on her day off, and turned me on to the finer yarns that are now out there. I hadn't done any knitting for years, as I had been devoting my time to painting and teaching painting classes. We have a great yarn store in Northamton, Ma. that is only 40 minutes away from me. They have a huge warehouse full of discounted yarns. Anyway, I plan to sell my painted ornaments, signs, felted handbags, and other knitted items. I would also hope to get a bunch of jewelry together too. Big plans! I will have to keep my prices down so that people can afford to buy, but that's okay, too. Got to get Mom up and ready for daycare!
Deefer,my dad would do the same thing,he would say he couldn't hear or act like he couldn't,then I would raise my voice,then he would say 'STOP YELLING I'm not deaf.I got where I was talking loud to other people,like they had hearing problems;I Still catch myself doing that.It was like the eyesite thing my dad was blind in one eye[due to accident]claimed he could hardly see anymore,but he could tell you which nurses needed to lose weight,who needed to change hair styles and who was the prettiest-When he wasn't doing all of these things I would get worried,I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I like hearing him fuss because I knew he felt good enough to fuss.Alot of people didn't understand why I felt griping and fussing as a good thing,I knew him better than anyone so I understood.I think old people play you because that is the only control they have left,It has got to be scary for them,it would be scary for me.Being 50 my time is right around the corner.I felt very bad for my dad losing his independance,so I enabled him to keep it as long as possible,I guess he was the general and I the foot soldier.
Good morning everyone! Hope you guys had a restful night!
Rip, I love the way that you take care of your Dad & the kind way that you describe it. So you're an artist...Me too! I love to draw, paint, quilt, do calligraphy, crochet, etc. If it's artsy or craftsy then I enjoy it. What is your favorite?
Tennessee, How is your daughter? I'm sorry that you were also hurt! People can be so mean & uncaring! I have found this out more with my husband not walking so well & being bend over in his walking. It's very obvious that there's something wrong, but people will stand & block the door or run ahead of him, sometimes t the point of almost knocking him down. I always try to run interference & make sure that path is clear, but not always able to. You're right, I've definately learned who my true friends are since his illness began! And WOW, you have a green thumb! I'm jealeous! I do pretty good with African Violets, but that's about it. I like to start them from a cutting & watch them grow & bloom. What an undertaking that you're business was large enough to supple nurseries! I understand wanting to do something different, but I'm sorry that your brother is taking that, as well!
Rosella, I wouldn't have a clue that you weren't here in the United States, if you hadn't said that you are in Italy! Your English is great! I'm sorry that you had a beastly day, yesterday. Don't fret, we all have them from time to time! Glad that she drank the water! I agree that our friend is great! He's my hero! I feel a lot better after talking with him! Maybe I'll find a job soon. I agree, thatI know what you mean about the name...It is fitting, but not very attractive! Tennessee, if you don't mind, I may copy you & change my name to georgia.
Pirate, SS, Diane, haven't heard from you in a few days...Hope everything is ok! Please let us know how you are.
Georgia is a great state,I love my Georgia neighbors.My daughter is fine,she's just alittle tired-kids bounce back so much quicker than old folks.THANK YOU everyone for asking.We would like to go to that aquarium in Atlanta,haven't done that yet,heard it was nice.We have been to the one in Chattanooga several times,we really enjoyed it. We like to stay at the Chattanooga CHOO CHOO-I Like saying the CHOO CHOO part.Don't know about the green thumb I killed alot of plants before I got good.My grandmother and my dad had a green thumb.I started the plant business about thirty, that was my second in life career change.Now I've got to figure out my third and probably last career,whats its going to be.My brothers also took my tractors,so I am crippled by that.Farmer without a tractor is like a cowboy without a horse.I dream and look at tractors now like bobbie does boats.My tractor was painted pink-IT was a KUBOTA which is orange,but me and my daughter girlied it up abit.I had pink overalls and leapard print mud boots to match it.THE cows didn't care'but if your doing man's work,might as well look like a girl doing it.
Very, I taught folk painting in my kitchen for 12 years so that I could be at home while my daughter grew up. I had 5 classes with a total of 35 students per week. I also sold my pieces at craft shows and in shops. I have all kinds of power tools and did all the wood cutting and finishing myself. When my daughter was in her last year of high school, I gave it all up and went to work at Old Sturbridge Village. Not sure where you are located, but I am in central Mass. and OSV is a working 1830's village, that has been a major tourist attraction to people from all over the world for decades. I was the shipping and receiving manager for 10 years and loved my job. I was very good at multitasking and had many responsibilities. I had to leave that job over 2 years ago to take care of Mom full time. The timing was right because the job involved much heavy lifting everyday. I will be 59 one week from today, and the lifting took it's tole on my body over the years. I dearly miss the day to day of the village and it's people. Art has always been my thing. Meme taught me how to knit, crochet, and sew when I was 5 and I taught myself many other crafts. I originally took oil painting lessons before I had my daughter. Then I learned folk painting with acrylics, and finally worked with watercolors with a wonderful artist lady who hated framing her work. So, she taught me how to do professional framing, and I would mat and frame her works for over 10 years. Now I mostly knit as it is easy to put down and pick back up after I tend to Mom. She has Parkinsons like your husband, but the worst thing is her dementia, anxiety and depression which are all made worse by the Parkinsons. She can no longer walk on her own and needs help toileting, etc. Because of the dementia, she is unable to remember how to use her walker or wheelchair, which we have her restrained to most of the time. She can't remember that getting up and walking are no longer an option for her. She has very few problems with tremors, but is very OCD and has major depression and anxiety. Right now her meds are doing the job for those problems without having to totally dope her up to keep her from getting hurt. It will be very hard to place her when the time comes. She needs constant 1 on 1 attention. The first 2 years were very hard for me, but as my dad died when he was 54, she had the forsight to buy long term care insurance over 10 years ago. This, after jumping through many hoops, is now paying for Merry, a CNA, to come in for 35 hours a week. I finally have some relief and my husband and I can actually leave the house again! You have your hands full. Do you have any children that can help? I have 6 siblings and they rarely show up to even visit, never mind help. Guess I had better get some bills paid and chores done before I have to pick up Mom from daycare. Merry is off today. Take care and welcome to the group!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It is demeaning but sincere....and I don't say it TO him.. so who cares.
$250. dollar a hour Fart Face Grumpus to see about getting a little girls toys back to her.
I believe you are stuck by the phone & unable to do it yourself.
Could the grandpa call the office himself? I bet he might offer some choice words.
Skritches to Cleo!
the morning paper had a brief about Volkswagen introducing a new car that runs on ...
you guessed it ...
human waste.
I thought of us all powering our vehicles on parent poop.
The Carp & Cruise might be a reality after all!
Hey, GodHelpUs, how's the Golden Throne?
deefer, glad that the colonoscopy is over for you! Hope you got some rest today! Yes service animals are allowed to go everywhere with their master or mistress, unless it's a private residence, which is what I was thinking about. The ONLY place that we could POSSIBLY move to is in with my 85 year old, ULTRA clean Mother. She hasn't offered & has even said that we'll probably have to rent, although at $475. per month, our house payment is less than anywhere we could rent. Anyway, if it comes right down to not having a roof over our heads, I'll beg Mother to let us stay with her, but Shelbie & Gracie (dilute calico kitty) won't be welcome! Don't get me wrong, I do love my Mother. She's just 85, set in her ways & a VERY negative person, at best!!! Saturday afternoon Larry & I went to visit her & e were both very ready to leave after about an hour. Shame! We could be there for each other. Now you know why I've said that we don't have anywhere else to go. None of the rest of the family have room for us. About adult day care, Larry is a very private person & won't go because he's afraid he'll have a potty accident ( tinkles on his clothes while trying to pull them down) while he's there. At least if he's here he can change clothes & maintain his dignity...he's only 62. We change clothes & mop the bathroom floor alot. I will talk to him about him going again & see if he's changed his mind. We can hope so! It would do him good to get out more while he still can. Getting him in & out of the car is such a bear & I'm always scared he'll fall & I won't be able to get him up.
Jsomebody, glad that Cleo is doing fine! Do you think that her claws will grow back? I hate when kitties are declawed at the vet...it's really an amputation as they remove to the first knuckle. Had that done to one of my cats before I knew what the surgery really was. Please don't think that I'm downing you if yours have been declawed, I'm not...I do understand. J, I know that you were really stressing when you told your Mom to bite you! Things will get better. And that was a great idea to pick up the alum. cans! We have several people who usually walk the roads around here & take the cans to the recycler.
Tennessee, fart pants grumpus...LOL!
Rip, Larry has had a pretty good day. The tremors have been pretty bad & he's shuffling more, but he wasn't in as much pain, which is good. He exerts a lot of energy with the tremors & stays very tired most of the time. Sometimes he sleeps pretty good & other times, not so much. Never know how it's gonna be from day to day. He's getting to where he's staying in bed more & more, which concerns me. I know what you mean about the phone systems...they bite! I hate when you're almost where you need to be & then you get disconnected. Poop soup...now I've heard everything...LOL! I hope you'll start being able to sleep all night & not wake up & not be able to go back to sleep. You need your rest! Good idea about the newspaper. Someone else suggested that to me today, too. We will need to have a ramp built, but I was waiting to see where we'd be before contacting anyone. The First Baptist Church, here, has a group of men that will build ramps for the disabled. Great ministry! I had heard that there are some companies, like Comcast, that offer inhome jobs, just not sure how to go about finding one. Someone had told me that Apple Computers does that, too. Suggestions? Yay on the steam cleaner! Let us know how that works out. I tried to use one once upon a time...I screwed it up big time...the carpet took forever to dry...it's funny now! I have hugged Shelbie for you & she had the biggest grin on her face! She is such a sweetheart! Whenever I cry, which is a lot these days, she will come to me like she does Larry to try to comfort me! What would we do without her?? Hopefully we won't have to find out. We found her online at PetFinder.com & went to visit with her & fell in love! She was about 2 years old & had been rescued by the pound & sent to the Humane Society close to Atlanta. She only weighed 42 lbs...she now weighs a hefty 95lbs...and she had massive bite marks & bruises all over her. There's no telling what that poor baby had endured before she was rescued. I couldn't leave her there, regardless if she would make a good service dog or not, so she came home with us! We took her to the vet & got her on some good food & started the bonding process. She had to be evaluated by 4 different groups to see her temperment, personality, agility, smarts, etc. before we could begin her service dog training. She passed all evaluations with flying colors! Then we began the training at a facility, that luckily, was only about an hour away. The training was wonderful!!! It was mainly for Larry & Shelbie, but I got to learn, too so I can keep up with her training. We still have to go walk on different surfaces from time to time, walk around clothing racks, open umbrellas around her, etc. You never know what's gonna happen so it's better to be prepared. I need to change me profile photo to one of her. Can you tell I'm smitten?!?! "And They Called it Puppy Love..."
Bobbie, Rip tells me that you really did get your boat! WOW!!! I am SSSSOOOOO happy for you!!!!! I love when dreams become reality! I'll do whatever you need me to do on the boat, just name it! Congratulations!
I do have some good news...We had a friend to come over this afternoon, to help us decide what options we have about the house & me getting a job. Sometimes it helps having a clear mind to help you...Thanks again to all of you guys!!! Your encouragement & thoughts have helped me to make it through the past few days! Larry's not so good at understanding these days & I've been too emotional. Anyway, the friend is going to help me find a job...he's been at his company for 38 years, and he told us NOT to worry about losing the house, that he wouldn't let that happen!!! Didn't say how, but I'm gonna trust...don't have a choice! He said that worry is counter-productive & that we would plan & work it out together & again, not to worry. He & Larry started 1st grade together! And Shelbie LOVES him!!! Will keep you posted.
Again, I am sorry that this is so long! I promise to try to be better in the future!
If I don't get t talk to you again, tonight, hope y'all will have a wonderful, restful, uneventful night! Love, K : )
Especially for speaking your thoughts!
where else do we have?
I don't think I'm alone for saying that. You've read some of my long winded posts when it seems no one else in the world cares!
Then you are here ... among a new family that shares so much.
Last night I was wishing I had been more proactive with the Red Cat Society & K9 Express.
When I think of the thousands of lonely seniors in small apts. where a cat would be welcome ... except the person's disability prevents it ...
I wanna cry!
My fluffy, rescue Calico Lacey spent 2 years at my shop, then a year at home when the shop caught fire.
Dad's lady friend, Helen, decided she wanted a Calico kitty. I was leery since Lacey was very independent ... but I took the chance.
Helen & Lacey turned out to be a perfect match! Both independent & fiesty. Lacey cared for Helen for 4 years during her slow death. Dad was there to tend to the litter box & ensure Lacey's dish was full.
What a team!
Lacey is home with me again, frolicking in the yard, still very active. Helen is deeply missed ... but I know Lace would never have sacrificed her indoor apt. with Helen for anything else. They were the world to each other. I thought I spoiled my cats!
So see ... all of us ramble.
Don't ever stop!
Listening to Christmas Music on Youtube here. Because I like to. Not religious, just like Christmas.
Mother does not approve of my writing on the site, I can tell by her ignoring me mentioning it and looking away. Like I am exposing family secrets to strangers...Well yes I am. The whole back drop for an abusive family setting IS isolation and exclusivity. And thinking nothing is wrong here....
Un hu.
I hope you have a personal computer b/c we would miss you if she pulls the plug.
A national hero for refusing to be an abused lackey, or a selfish whiner who "could have endangered others with his actions?
I don't think my mother would say "no computer". After last months "incident" I think she has realized I am both all she has and not going to put up with everything she unloads on me on top of the 24/7 burdens I have to live under caring for HER father. And if she loves him so much, why do I have to push the wheel chair EVERY TIME. I mean she got pissed when she had to push him that ONE time, because I had the shopping list and coupons and a return item, otherwise no go.???
Rip, thank you for your encouragement! You're right, that it seems sometimes that no one cares! I have ladies that I thought were friends that avoid me now, because all I have to talk about is my husband & the financial thing. Right now, that's all I know.
Maybe you can still do the Red Cat Society & K9 Express...love the names! It would be a win, win, win!!! Helen & Lacey were prime examples. I love good memories.
I'm sorry that you had a fire! I'm glad that you were ok! What kind of shop was it, if you don't mind me asking?
I am so thankful for this site & you ladies...all of you!
Laugh it up and get a new one !!! There's more gross things to come.
After years of being in crisis intervention & having my heart break ...
check Tennesse's wall & you'll see my past -
I decided to pursue a life of shallow.
HaHaHaHahaaaaaa -
I took my artistic abilities & zero business knowledge & opened a sign shop with my piddling retirement fund.
$1,500. for the deposit on my shop. I was single & had nothing to lose.
That was 1987 & I still make signs.
The commercial space caught fire on Halloween night several years ago. A wall heater was my demise. My landlord always promised a new heating system ... he passed away 2 weeks prior.
I had turned it on briefly for a meeting with architects. I was certain it was off before I left at 6 PM.
Next thing my phone was ringing at 6 AM from a fire fighter friend saying the cats were OK but my 'squirrel cage' heater had lit the shop!
HUH?
I plowed my way from sleep, checked on Dad & found my life of 18 years soaking in 3" of water! Thanks to the sprinkler system which did it's job.
It was traumatic ... I relocated the shop cat to my home 1 mile away ... but several returned to the devastated shop. Once I had all of them here they were happy.
Not easy.
Insurance company was tepid ... they came in, "washed" all equipment & materials that were sent to an 'ozone cleansing' facility & I ended up with 97 boxes of misc. stuff. A paper cutter would occupy one box.
Drafting pencils were dumped in another.
Not to mention my huge drafting tables & office furniture.
OK - that nightmare is over.
My sign business it on haitus as I care for Dad full time. The equipment works, but I can't do it all. Many of my 20+ year clients have bit the dust due to the economy.
I have several clients still needing signs, like the MonroeFunnyFarm & I hope to direct my graphic ability to anima; works.
What has become of this country???
I always thought honesty & honor was the best thing we have going.
Did you se my earlier post about high level people offering me drugs as a tip?
I laughed off their offers ... but wonder how many people are seriously involved.
It really makes me happy that my attorney, money motivated, brother is far away, not contacting us, while my father remains a true gentleman.
Disappointed with his 'super son'.
Waiting for his dinner & my companionship.
Jen you are great! You are so smart. Don't let "them" have you! A big hug to Cleo. Her trip to the vet was more important than the trip to the vet of your grandfather.
Tennessee, yes maybe your brother has drug problems, but sometimes people get very nasty even if they do not have drug problems, mostly when money is involved. How's your daughter? When are you coming to Italy?
Pirate, I love you because you have the courage to say upfront the same things that I feel during my Beastly days. I had one of my beastly days today. I wake up wishing to make a slaughter including my mother, my brother, even my beloved animals! And take a bag and leave for anywhere, with no return. Tonight I was violent with my mother. She has only one kidney (they removed one of them last year) and she has to drink a lot, to survive. Only, she never wants to drink, and every damn sip of water she drinks, you have to explain to her why she has to drink (on average: 1000 times a day). So tonight I said: "Mamma, drink that f**king water or we shall have to go to the f**king hospital"! (I said it in Italian, of course). She looked at me with her eyes wide open, but she drank two full glasses of water. Maybe I should use that technique more often. I am very tough sometimes, this is my real nature maybe.
Yesterday one of you (don't remember who, sorry, if I go back to look, I lose all my message) said that her mother thinks she has a baby every day and that you hide her babies in the attic, more or less. Well, I'd like to have a new little brother or sister every day. Maybe they could help me somehow! Forgive me, your story made me laugh. I know "we" will reach that stage very soon, a few months maybe.
Rip you are so sweet, you would never think or say such things.
I love everyone of you and if I have not mentioned all of you it is just because this post is already too long.
Bobbie, my mops are ready to polish the floor! Thank you for being close to us even if you have so many things to do.
Goodnite to everyone!
The next few nights should have a display of meteor showers.
(The Perisides or something. I always spell it wrong)
As we are often awake in the early morning hours, step outside & look to the sky at the shooting stars!
Make some wishes ...
we sure need em!
Rip, You have been through some major sh!t and survived! You are an inspiration to us all. You have a great business sense and when the time is right, you'll get back out there with your wonderful ideas.
I got an application for a local fall craft show and have decided to take the plunge. I did the local high school X-mas fair last year and did well. It had been quite a while since I had been on the craft scene.
I spent the winter months knitting and hand felting handbags. I have become a yarn snob! My younger sister works in a yarn store on her day off, and turned me on to the finer yarns that are now out there. I hadn't done any knitting for years, as I had been devoting my time to painting and teaching painting classes. We have a great yarn store in Northamton, Ma. that is only 40 minutes away from me. They have a huge warehouse full of discounted yarns.
Anyway, I plan to sell my painted ornaments, signs, felted handbags, and other knitted items. I would also hope to get a bunch of jewelry together too. Big plans! I will have to keep my prices down so that people can afford to buy, but that's okay, too.
Got to get Mom up and ready for daycare!
Rip, I love the way that you take care of your Dad & the kind way that you describe it. So you're an artist...Me too! I love to draw, paint, quilt, do calligraphy, crochet, etc. If it's artsy or craftsy then I enjoy it. What is your favorite?
Tennessee, How is your daughter? I'm sorry that you were also hurt! People can be so mean & uncaring! I have found this out more with my husband not walking so well & being bend over in his walking. It's very obvious that there's something wrong, but people will stand & block the door or run ahead of him, sometimes t the point of almost knocking him down. I always try to run interference & make sure that path is clear, but not always able to. You're right, I've definately learned who my true friends are since his illness began! And WOW, you have a green thumb! I'm jealeous! I do pretty good with African Violets, but that's about it. I like to start them from a cutting & watch them grow & bloom. What an undertaking that you're business was large enough to supple nurseries! I understand wanting to do something different, but I'm sorry that your brother is taking that, as well!
Rosella, I wouldn't have a clue that you weren't here in the United States, if you hadn't said that you are in Italy! Your English is great! I'm sorry that you had a beastly day, yesterday. Don't fret, we all have them from time to time! Glad that she drank the water! I agree that our friend is great! He's my hero! I feel a lot better after talking with him! Maybe I'll find a job soon. I agree, thatI know what you mean about the name...It is fitting, but not very attractive! Tennessee, if you don't mind, I may copy you & change my name to georgia.
Pirate, SS, Diane, haven't heard from you in a few days...Hope everything is ok! Please let us know how you are.
Have a great day...
Art has always been my thing. Meme taught me how to knit, crochet, and sew when I was 5 and I taught myself many other crafts. I originally took oil painting lessons before I had my daughter. Then I learned folk painting with acrylics, and finally worked with watercolors with a wonderful artist lady who hated framing her work. So, she taught me how to do professional framing, and I would mat and frame her works for over 10 years.
Now I mostly knit as it is easy to put down and pick back up after I tend to Mom. She has Parkinsons like your husband, but the worst thing is her dementia, anxiety and depression which are all made worse by the Parkinsons. She can no longer walk on her own and needs help toileting, etc. Because of the dementia, she is unable to remember how to use her walker or wheelchair, which we have her restrained to most of the time. She can't remember that getting up and walking are no longer an option for her. She has very few problems with tremors, but is very OCD and has major depression and anxiety. Right now her meds are doing the job for those problems without having to totally dope her up to keep her from getting hurt. It will be very hard to place her when the time comes. She needs constant 1 on 1 attention.
The first 2 years were very hard for me, but as my dad died when he was 54, she had the forsight to buy long term care insurance over 10 years ago. This, after jumping through many hoops, is now paying for Merry, a CNA, to come in for 35 hours a week. I finally have some relief and my husband and I can actually leave the house again!
You have your hands full. Do you have any children that can help? I have 6 siblings and they rarely show up to even visit, never mind help.
Guess I had better get some bills paid and chores done before I have to pick up Mom from daycare. Merry is off today.
Take care and welcome to the group!