Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Kuli, we were writing at the same time. I am so glad to hear about Sophie and that you didn't cry for a day. Sweet memories are good for sure.
lovbob

Aloha: I'm back from Maui and we had a wonderful time. I only wish that I could send all of us there together. It was so relaxing and so beautiful. I'll write more about it later.

I have spent hours reading posts and catching up. I made one post yesterday to Book regarding the loss of her mom. Austin, sorry to hear about your dear friend. Keeping you both in my prayers.

Diane: Sending you love and white light. I hope the morphine will keep your mom pain free and that some Ativan can be added should she have any agitation. My prayer for you both is that you can be at peace with the remaining time ahead. I know my dad's medical issues were vastly different than what you and your mom have faced, but I was grateful that his final days were spent at peace and I could be by his side, holding his hand. I hope you and your mom can have that quiet time to share and rest in. You are a wonderful person and we all know how much you love your mom and what a great daughter you have been.

Kuli: Sending kittie hugs to Sophie. Glad you are holding on to sweet memories and managing with your dad's belongings. Just take it a day at a time. It's a daunting task, but it will get done.

Deef: I thought of you, Mame and others during our vacation. We'd see the US weather report and the pictures of snow in the eastern states. I wished I could send you all the warm sea breezes we were experiencing. I hate to think of you shoveling snow again. Take care of your arm and hands. Glad you got to your craft class and managed to get some projects done. Sounds like your mom is her usual 7 handfuls and you continue to take it all in stride. Wish you had a lot more help. Whenever you mention the restless legs thing, I always relate. I have a hard time with it too. If I'm tired it's much worse and that's probably true for you too, which would mean 24/7 in your case. Our flight home from Maui left at 9:30 pm and within 30 minutes of sitting I was miserable. I stood through most of the 5 1/2 hour flight. It's weird how it's ok when you are standing, but sitting is terrible. I'm going to check with my doc about medication should we travel by air again. Do you take anything that gives you any relief?

Mame: Glad your boys were home for a bit to brighten your days. Did the girlfriend manage ok with the dogs? Take Lildeb's advise and gargle with warm salt water. I hope you get to feeling better and can get out of the black hole. Hate to think of you being there. I don't think winter weather is very helpful in that regard.

Linda: I hope you get to feeling better too. Sorry about your muscle issues. Geez, that has to hurt. I'm glad you had such a great relationship with your MIL, but there is no way you need to feel guilty about not taking on her care. You've done that and physically and emotionally it's not possible for you to do it again. Take care of you and your honey bunn instead and be invested in the years ahead that you get to spend together.

Sharynmarie: I'm relived to hear that you are staying on course with placing your mom. It will be better for you to be her daughter and not her full time caregiver. It wouldn't just effect you, it would effect your sister too and she has enough health issues to deal with already. Both you and your sister need to focus on your lives and your families and support your mom by being available to monitor her care and visit. I hope the placement and conservatorship go quickly and smoothly.

Lildeb: I always think of you and pray that you will get the help you need in caring for your MIL. You are finding you way in this journey, but I worry about your health with all the strain and stress that fills your days and nights. How are you feeling now? I hope you have recovered from the worst of the roid surgery. Blessings to you Lildeb. Remember that you always have options and preserving your health is what is most important.

Meanwhile: I've never had venison, but I understand it can be marinated and tenderized. Sounds like you did a good job cooking it and turning the rest into stew. Sounds like work is coming along on the Adobe house and you have a potential tenant lined up. I hope that gives you some extra income and helps cover some of the reno costs. Glad your mom is doing better and happy to hear you got to go riding. Yeah!!!! Hope your visit with Sam was comforting. He'll always be with you and would want you to spend your remaining years on this planet being happy. We all want that for you too. Many hugs.

Mishka: Glad to see you posting. I can appreciate the difficulty in having your mom visit and how disrupting that can be to your daughter's schedule. I'm glad you all got through it and can miss her presence. Sorry about the colds. Hope you all get better soon.

Jen: Glad you enjoyed your St. Pattie's day dinner. Sounds yummy. I usually do the corned beef & cabbage too, but not this year. I think I mentioned Sun Magazine to you a while back. It's a great magazine for writers. They have one section that has a topic....like "Paying Attention" was one and "Going Home" was another. They lay out the topics months in advance along with the deadlines for submissions for each topic. I always think of you when I read Sun. You could write some good stuff for submission. I have back copies of Sun and would be glad to send them to you. I'm on FB, so message me if you would like them. Hang in there Jen.

Bobbie: Glad to know you are healing. I know you like to keep your location private, but did you say you were expecting snow? I might have misread that, but I can't go back and check or I'll lose this post. What is it about men and their screw jokes. Anyway, give us an update on the boat and a clue as to your new whereabouts. Hugs to you, your four legged 1st mate and boat angel. Hope all is well with all of you.

Stormy: Sorry you are having so much difficulty. Hope you get some answers to the medical problems you are dealing with. Don't give up. Sending white light your way.

BJ: Thinking of you and sending blessings and hugs.

Sorry if I missed folks. Glad to be home.

Love, Cat

Oh, I forgot to tell Cuz hello and thanks for the jokes.

MsDaisy: Always happy to read your posts. I'm glad to know that you are doing good and, though you are missing your mom, your heart and mind are in a good place. Your comments always convey that good place to others and I appreciate you sharing that warmth and comfort with others, including me.

GranmainTexas: Thanks for pointing out which one was you on your profile pic. There are lots of good people on the AC site and on the GO thread. Hope you stick around and find some support here.

Here's a little something about our week in Maui. So the next day (after we arrived) we decide to go snorkeling. We've never done this before, but our little studio condo is right on the beach and the facility rents fins, snorkel masks and all assortment of water stuff. Let me just say that this first venture into snorkel land was not successful. Getting those fins on was not easy and there is no graceful way to get into the water with them on. Getting the mask on was another fiasco because it felt so claustrophobic to me and I just couldn't get my breath. I felt like I was trying to do to many things at one time and I was getting exhausted and breathing through my nose (not good) instead of through my mouth.

So we went to shore and dumped the mask and fins with a couple who were sitting on the beach and were kind enough to watch them for us. (Things get stolen if you leave them unattended.) Back we go into the water just to swim and float around. That was successful!!!!!!.....until we tried to get out again. By this time the wind had picked up and so had the waves. We'd been in the water for a while now and I think my legs were tired. I got knocked down by a wave and was being drug out with the undertow. I was laughing while Hubby was trying to get me standing up when another big wave came in and sent me flying into him. Then we were both down. I hope we don't end up on one of those funniest video things.

The next day we went out again. This time we just rented a floaty belt. Good Times!!!!!!!! We floated with ease and swam all around. We stayed on Kaanapali Beach and there is a place called Black Rock that has coral and tons of brightly colored fish...also sea turtles. The water and waves are much calmer there as the cliffs and rock jet out and protect the immediate area. So we floated and swam down to black rock and when we were ready to get out of the water, we made a graceful exit.

So, now I felt a little more confident and the next day we went back and used the floatie belt and the snorkel mask. Hubby was fine right away, but I was still feeling a bit panicked with the mask on. Nevertheless, I got the hang of it and I can't begin to tell you how happy that made me. It is so awesome to learn something new and overcome a fear. We had a blast and my husband was so happy for me. It's so awesome to see those fish and we saw a big sea turtle too. I just loved it.

I never graduated to combining the fins too, but I am going to get some fins and a snorkel mask and practice at the local pool. Hubby too. Maybe we can go back next year and do it again.

By the way, we had many a walk on the beach and we were not the only ones to take a beating on that beach. One man, about our age, got his swim suit pulled off. It was still around his ankles, but it took way too many waves for him to get them pulled up again. His wife was so embarrassed, but these things happen. One other woman was telling me about a couple of years ago when she and her husband had been there and he was hanging on to a boogie board. The waves came in and slammed him into the sand. He broke two ribs. She said, "What is it about the beach that makes 60 year old men act like 12 year olds?" Well, I don't know the answer, but I do know that I enjoyed myself and felt like a 12 year old too.

Hubby and I laugh about the rogue wave that knocked us down and deposited a ton of sand in every nook and cranny on our body. That wave had to be at least 18 inches high. I'm still laughing.

Hugs, Cat

Cat it sounds like you and hubby had a wonderful time in Maui. I am so happy you had time to relax and reconect with your hubby. I think that will be what I am looking forward to, having time to reconnect with James. Wish I had Maui on the horizon, but I'll take whatever comes. Mom has been nibbling today but sleeping quite a bit. She was getting very scared and anxious so I gave her another ativan because the pharmacy is screwing around with getting the morphine. Not much else going on right now. Just taking it minute by minute.

I hope everyone gets to feeling better and can have a peaceful night. Love and hugs to you all.

Lildeb, I hope that Remeron they gave your Mil is helping you get some rest! It's still pretty cold here, so the snow is not melting too fast. We took a walk again today and it was only in the high 30's, but the wind wasn't as bad as it has been.
Mishka, Hope things are returning to normal at your house. Are your husband and daughter feeling better yet. Hope you don't get sick too!
Kuli, sounds like Sophie has a few more lives left!
Sharyn, sorry your mom thinks of you that way. There are 7 of us and when my dad died 31 years ago, he was 54, I remember us all arguing after the funeral over which of us was his favorite! Both my parents had the talent to make all of us feel like we were their favorites. That is something that doesn't happen very often in life. By the way, I was always the responsible one, the "middle" child so to speak. I am second oldest, but also second daughter. Then the first boy was born and then came 4 more after us. There is 18 years difference between my oldest sister and my youngest brother. She was in college when he was born and left home at 19 to marry her bf who was in the Air Force. My dad had a heart attack and open heart surgery when my brother was only 5 years old. It was just before my first wedding anniversary, and I have been pretty much the one called on for all things family my entire adult life. I can't wait for my "boat" to show up!!!
Diane, Hang in there girl and just keep doing what you are doing, keeping mom comfortable. You and James will have good things coming your way for sure!
Stormy, I feel for you! I have had problems like yours since I was 11 and still do even at 61!! I have suffered miscarriages, fibroids, had numerous D&C's, biopsies, and took iron for 15 years due to long and heavy cycles. Now I am trying to decide if I want to go through a hysterectomy, which is almost comical, because who will care for Mom? You would think at my age that I would be past all this, but I'm not! I know how frustrating it can be, but give it a few days and your attitude will get better. Looks like getting your thyroid meds straight is going to be a process. Talk to the doctor and tell him how you are feeling and see what he can do for you. Keep checking in with us so we know how you are doing and so we can give you encouragement. We are all here for you!!!
Bobbie, I used to have problems when I went to lumber yards to by wood for my classes. I even had men ignore me at the counter and take the next "man" in line behind me. That really pissed me off! That's when I would step up, all 5'1" of me, and say "excuse me, don't you like the color of my $$?" Then I would rattle off what I needed in contractor language and make them look assholes!!! Same thing at the hardware store when I was looking for "set" screws or parts to fix my saws and sanders.
Cat, sounds like you had a great time! Snorkeling would freak me out too! Can't wait to see pictures. I take Requip for my legs and my heart medication also helps.I can't sleep without the requip! Problem is I can only take it before bed as it still makes me nauseous and dizzy after all these years. I'm up to 4 mgs a night. When I flew out to Seattle 2 years ago, my biggest fear was being on the plane for a long period of time, so I got flights that split the trip into 2 sections going out and back and made sure I was on morning flights. I also wore a motion sickness patch the entire time and I think that may have helped keep me calm. I took knitting with me and was working on a complicated pattern that I had to concentrate on, I really believe that's what saved my sanity! I even have problems riding in a car late in the day! When I was still working, the half hour ride home was brutal some days, as my legs would twitch all the way home. RLS is my worst nightmare for sure!
Well, Mom is losing weight and is down to 97lbs now. I tried to weigh her at home, but couldn't get her to stand by herself on the scale. Daycare weighs everyone there once a week and the nurse looked up her last weight for me. She has lost about10 lbs in the past year, so nothing alarming, but she is very skeletal looking now. She eats a lot, but her body just isn't absorbing the nutrients anymore. And then there is the nonstop motion eating up all her calories! She was okay this morning, but quite the handful tonight! All hands and legs moving and feet sliding and grabbing my hands and the wash cloth and the towel and the diaper and.....I think my blood pressure was through the roof by the time I got her in bed! Two days at home did us both in! Hope she gets up and off to daycare easy, tomorrow!
Mame, How are you feeling? Out of the dumps yet?
Jen, how did shopping day go this week? Bet the hair is starting to look great! Mine is way too long, but I have to wait until after my husband's SS comes next week. Then I can call my niece for a haircut!
BJ, where are you? everything OKay?
Austin, Msdaizy, Linda,Yogi, Book, Shirley how are you all doing? Okay, who did I forget?
Kitties looking for food and I have dishes to do! Night everyone!

Here lurking. Just don't know what to say to Book, Austin, and Diane. All I can do is keep you in my prayers.
Cat so glad you enjoyed your vacation. I tried snorkling 5 years ago, in Florida. It was great fun. I wasn't very good at it either.
Sorry, too tired to write more. Better get to bed. Love you guys.

Cat~Thank you, I hope it goes quickly and smoothly too...knowing mom is safe is a priority now.

Deef~Thank you, like I said it doesn't really bother me much that mom thinks that way about me because I know I am responsible.

It's 3am and I can't sleep. My lower back has been hurting since putting mom's blinds up last week. It is worse when I lay down...I took half a vicodin, hope it kicks in soon.

Wow!!!! We are drowning here!!! Anybody out there??
Worried about BJ, nothing from her all week!
Diane??? How's Mom?
Jen? Stormy? Mishka? Bobbie?????
Austin. Linda, Msdaizy, Yogi, Mame? you feeling any better?
Cat, got that luggage all unpacked yet?
Shirley, hope you are getting some rest!
LilDeb, How's it going?
Somebody, anybody???

Deefer/all - I am here. It's been a trying week. We are working to persuade Mom to go to independent living and she's absolutely refusing. She did say she'd go but only if I go too. :) That's not going to happen. I feel the time is fast approaching when the decision will just have to be taken out of her hands. We wanted to make her a part of the decision but she's balking. At today's family gathering, she stated she will NOT move anywhere until she's removed from my home feet-first. It's been a very tiring 10 days.

I am going to try to get away in a few weeks and take a driving trip somewhere. I love driving because I so enjoy the solitude to think and relax. Not sure how I am going to manage it but I will.

Hope everyone else here is doing okay. I am so looking forward to spring. Doing yard work and planting flowers is so much more fun than being in the house constantly. Love to all.

I saw a movie once where these guys broke into their boss's homes to get details of the house. They had plan to kill each others bosses. One of them had to use the bathroom while he was there and saw his boss's tooth brush took it and rubbed it between his butt cheeks and put it right back. Ever since I saw that movie, I keep my tooth brush in a tube in my bedroom drawer.

Hi all -caught the cold/flu(?) that my daughter and husband had . Blessings to all! Will write more when I don't feel so yucky! Can I have my boat time later? And , aloha, Cattails!

Oh, and bobbie- beautiful post about Boat Time. Really lovely.

Hi ALL! I've been so busy. I am truly sorry for everyone's loses. I know it must be very difficult, yet in a way, a relief that your loved one is no longer suffering. My prayers and thoughts go to everyone of you and to all that are still caregiving. I just wanted to stop by and say hello and check in. Blessings, Bobbi, Deef, Stormy, Jen, BJ, Sharyn, Austin, Book, lildeb and anyone else I missed!

a definite gross out moment tonight: i found my fil using my measuring jug as a urinal. been looking for it for the past few days for baking, couldn't find it anywhere so had to use an old one where the measurements have faded .... only to find my new snazzy one at the bottom of his cupboard full of wee. oh help!!! now i am wondering what else in the kitchen has been used and put back....

Susan...that's a true gross out moment. I'd definitely be on the look out for more..blech blech blech. Sorry it's just I had the visual in my head. :)

my daughter, who does most of the baking, is having a 'heebie-jeebies' moment! i am torn between wanting to laugh, feeling disgusted, and NEEDING to disinfect everything in the kitchen immediately. oh the joys of this job....!!! hardest job i have EVER done, and for the life of me, i truly can not remember applying for it!

Bobbie- Thanks for the boat story, it helped. I am doing better, I think the antidepressants are kicking in some. But thanks for the encouraging words. Hugs
Deef- Thanks for understanding. I think if my dr could get my levels right then maybe things would calm down, at least I hope so. Hugs
Cat- I am so glad that you got to get away for a while. I know you had a blast!!
Susan- Yep, thats pretty gross, I agree with mzdaisy- bleach, bleach and more bleach!!!
BJ- Hey there!
Book- still thinking of you and hoping that you are doing alright. hugs
Jen-How's it going?
Mishka- I hope you and your family feel better soon. The stomach virus has been going around this area. And several people have gotten pnemonia too.
Lil'deb- How have you been doing? Good, I hope.
Well, if I missed anyone I am sorry and I will try to get you on the next go round. Hugs and love to all. Stormy

Oh Gah...measuring cup ewtastic!
in the depth of despair here Gonzaga lost basketball game...

Hey BJ!!!! Boy, I don't envy you right now. It's tough when they can still call the shots and drag their feet! It may take some doing to get your mom to realize you are trying to help her. I sure hope you get to go for your LONG drive!
I actually went out with a friend today. She took care of her dad for a couple years before he died, so she knows and will just sit and let me ramble on about Mom, etc. until I run out of steam! We actually went to Sturbridge , a small town a hour hour from here that is full of small shops and restaurants. So much for my diet and exercise! We ate at a Chinese buffet! Then we roamed through some shops and picked up a few small things. Erin was here with Mom all day, so we took our time and got back after 5. I felt good to get out and do something I used to do before Mom time.
After Mom was settled and I made supper for mu husband, I did an exercise DVD for damage control!!! I noticed my neighbor was sitting on her front steps having a cigarette, so I grabbed a warm coat and walked over to talk to her. her husband has been battling pancreatic cancer the last 8 months and is not doing well, so I try to talk with her whenever I see her out. It was a really cold and windy day today, but the night sky is gorgeous!!! Big stars and clear moon up in the sky. We talked for about an hour and caught up on all the town gossip! At least it got her mind off of her problems for a bit.
Marienaj!!! That's really gross!!! Know some people I would like to do that to!
Mishka, sorry you are sick now too! Hope it doesn't last too long! Don't worry, boat time will be here when you need it.
Yogi!!! Thanks for checking in! I'm with you on the suffering being over.
Susan!!!!! That is a winner!!! Got to love it! Right now Mom's grossness is sucking loudly an her fingers. It's really gross when she reaches out and touches my face with her wet hands. Gag!!! And you are so right about this being the one job we don't have to apply for. It just seems to find us!
Msdaizy, bet you have some gross stories from your years of caregiving. I have to laugh at things Mom does so that I don't gag too much. If she only knew what she does in public now, she would just crawl in a hole! But not knowing jusy=t makes her laugh all the more when we laugh.
As usual, I have a sink full of dishes to get done before bed. Hope to hear from everyone else at some point this weekend, in the meantime may you all have a nice peaceful night of sleep!

Abe & Esther

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergencyLanding. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us andwe should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that wemay never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest ofour lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks,"Esther, did we pay our Visa and MasterCard bill yet?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks,
"Esther,did we pay our American Express card yet?"
"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.
"One last thing Esther. Did you remember to send the installment
Check to the IRS this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Abe," begged Esther. "I didn't send thatone, either."
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"
Abe answers, "They'll find us!"

Cuz, I love the joke, just got my taxes (finally) done and e-filed.
Have had the best weather here the last 3 weeks, 70 and 80 degrees. All the fruit trees blooming, bluebonnets, and other flowers blooming. But, the north wind blew in last night (at 50+ mph), and it was 24 degrees this morning. West Texas for ya. I shouldn't whine, I heard a lot of places are covered in snow again.

Shirley it has been in the mid 30's here in Michigan with no snow. Northern Indiana is getting the white stuff instead of us. It is supposed to reach the 50's by next weekend. Summer will get here not fast enough. Need to get the boat of mine back in the water. Can't wait. Hugs your way.
luvCuz

Shirley, Sure you aren't in New England??? I need to get the rest of our tax info together and finish Mom's too. I need to get to the accountant this week or I'll never do it!
Started out cold today, but got better by the afternoon. Almost hit 50 and there was no wind for a change. Don't think we will get anything tomorrow, just cloudy and maybe a few flurries. Supposed to warm up later this week. Can't wait!!! By this time last year we had already had some 80 degree days! I'm certainly not ready for that!
I should have been in bed already! Just wanted to check in. Got to get up early to finish trash for pick up, then it's get Mom up and off to daycare!

drivin by and backed up and want to tell you all that i love you ...
got bunch of snow here . purtty sights , trees are covered with it . winter wonderland here . the snow will not last long , going to be in 40s , so it ll be ugly mushy slushy out , worried about floods too .
flex - whats happening now ? thinking of you and sending my angels out ur way .. hugs ! xoxo
jen- fp declinin any ? hope its warm up at ur area .
bobbie - hows boat angel . you havent talked about him or did i miss it ? how is he ? gators around yet ?
meanwhile- whoa sounds purrty where ure at . cant wait for everything to bloome here . im so ready !
guess my bil decided him and mom is happy now that his gf moved out , he said mom is happier and so is he . GREAT !! whew ~~~~ . so everybody s happy camper and is in peace . no more talking about nursing homes . unless bil says he s ready . i shall go up and spend more time with em as much as i can .
you guys have a safe week ,, hugs to ur elders for me . xoxo

Hi all. Drama going on here with a sister in law who feels I have overstepped the boundries asking my brother to call more often... Wish I could get in her head to know what the hell she is thinking but that will never be. He wasn't angry about it.I am baffeled. Other than that, just the usual. Mom woke up today and must be feeling about 50 or 60 years of age! Came right out to the kitchen-ready for b'fast. Talking about her day and what she had to do. Quite shocking! Tomorrow she will probably not get out of bed till 3pm! Maybe forgetting your age and limitations can be a good thing! I'll take this any day! My sister asked me if it is the Nemenda...I told her maybe, but it is really just a good day.Who knows what tomorrow will bring. We have a little snow left on the grass...some expected this week but no big deal like on the more central part of the east coast. We had 80 degrees here last year this time too and then cold again and it ruined apple crops. March is fickle but this year is more realistic. My daffodils are poking up and telling winter it is in the rear view mirror! Well, still trying to process the sil anger...so I am kind of down in the dumps-I don't like anyone to be mad at me. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't like to see mom feeling lonly. I realize from time to time that I have to accept that certain siblings don't care to see or talk to mom. I am tired of making excuses for them-cause on a good day-she knows they have not been around. I have tried and tried...but maybe it is just time to let it go. I wish it was that easy for me. Anyway...I hope everyone has a decent week. Just don't have it in me to speak to each of you but know that I am thinking of you and pray for all of us each night! Mame

Linda he is still "fair to middlin'" as he will say when he thinks too. Mom taking him to foot app now and dog starting the two hour howl job...I can't take it...

Mame: Sorry about your sister-in-law. If she's been taking care of her dad and not getting help from her sibs, she might be worn out and just pissed off in general. Who knows? Try not to take it too personally. It's so hard for me to picture anyone being angry with you. And really, you should be able to ask your sibs to visit mom more often. It was such a relief to me when my brothers would come up and visit with my dad. I was so tired and I felt they had more to give him in the way of new stories, change of pace, etc., plus just letting him know that he was important to them.

Maybe your SIL just has a heavy heart. Whatever the case, you are an angel and I hope this all calms down for you soon.

Cat

Hi all, I don't understand why I am not getting anything in my e-mail to let me know that their have been new post replies on this forum?
I am going to try n post n see what happens. I had to go back to Feb 23rd post to catch up to the date here.
Very strong wind going on here for past two days n temp has dropped big-time. Hospice came out last Friday but I think the mil won't qualify for he mention that she would have had to lose 10% body weight within 3 months n not able to speak but a few words. At least that was for this particular Hospice n not sure if that is for other places. Yet, still waiting on them to return a call to let us know for sure. The problem with the weight is if I wait till she has to lose 10% she be dead! Why don't they look at what she 'should be weighing?' She only weighs 75 lbs because she lost 3lbs due to not eating good. Plus, they only come out for 1hr per day. Is that normal for hospice? It will take 20minuets just to get the mil to get her butt in the tub. One hr is not going to get anything done. The only thing that sounded good was she could stay up to 5 days in a NH being they don't have a place for them at their business. I guess, they suppose to help u with nutrition help too but how can u cram it all in for only one hr? We only have One geriatric physician in Columbus Ga. The Cymbalta is helping n we now have her on Remeron 15mg at night to help stimulate her eating but it kind of a scary med for it makes her a bit dizzy at night. I don't need her to fall from getting out of bed at night. We did get a laser sensor that I can place facing her be to warn me if she gets up n middle of night. That working okay for now n she is eating a little better.
Debating if it will be worth trying to get her a new set of choppers to help her eat better too? I think Medicare don't pay for that either. She is overly due for a new set of choppers for u can hear them clack in her mouth when she eats. However, Ms. Queen is not that easy to deal with for it's like pulling teeth to get her to get it done.
I also went to an assisting living place to check out their Adult Activity center with the mil n we both had lunch their too. This place was okay n the food was too. Of course, Ms. Queen didn't won't to eat this or that for some reason so I had to tell her that their was no reason why she could not be able to eat the rice with broccoli. Plus, it was not that bad. Then, they offer her tea n that to her was too sweet n so I just said bring her water. Of course, if she drinks that then she will have to pee. Oh please drink the f--ng water so when u do go to the bathroom every ten minutes u will actually have something coming out! However, the people their could just walk all over place n I guess because most lived their anyway. However, what about the ones with dementia? They did have a security alarm but their were a lot of people that were just sitting around sleeping. Not so sure about this place for something just didn't feel right. as It was all nice n pretty but I didn't see too many nurses or volunteers around to assist some of the people except during lunch time n they seem to be the cooks.
The place we went to last week for a free trial which was an Adult Activity place was pretty good. Plus, they do offer "in-home' help if needed. However, they want to charge a month advance n she has to come at least twice a wk. I may just have to go with that one for their r not many choices unless we want to pay 16.00 per hr for someone to sit in r house just to be a companionship for the mil. Been checking around NH places as well n I had no idea how expensive a NH can cost per month. Gee!
Hubby is just going to have to use mil check to help pay for Adult Activity Day center so I can get a freaking break if he wants me to be able to continue to take care of his mom n so I can keep myself in check as well.
Not sure if I will have to hunt down the next post on this forum topic for the e-mail not letting me know anymore for some reason.
I hope everyone is doing okay on here n I am going to try n play catch up on everyone with the readings as soon as I can. Gotta go makes some phone calls. wish me luck

So sorry for so long...

Lildeb: No apology needed. You make it as long as you need it to be. I am wishing you good luck on your phone calls. My heart really goes out to you. Hugs, Cat