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On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired Marine , and asked, "Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married"
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?
He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said: Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."
She giggled and said, "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight ?"
He looked her up and down and said, " Mission Accomplished!!!
Ouch Cuz! Haha... So, my sister visited mom twice now at the daycare. The daycare called me today to tell me to tell her she can't visit mom there. Apparently it is too disruptive...I guess if they are in the middle of one of their memory games... I guess I understand but part of me doesn't. I am not sure how long she was there but she was still there when I picked mom up and alls they are doing is sitting in recliners with the TV on waiting for pick up. I guess I am just surprised. I just wondered what experiences any of you have had? Gorgeous weather here in CNY. Had mom on the deck today for lunch. She loved watching all the birds in the yard. We had to go over what trees and bushes I have out there 400 times...poor thing. I guess I have to be happy she even knows they are trees. Don't mind me, I am just itching to be free-with all this wonderful weather... UGH. Hope you all are doing well. Mame
Mame~I am thinking that because your mom is in daycare, it is not the same as if she were a resident so they have a routine that does not include visitors. It would be the same if you had a child in daycare and grandma came to visit there instead of at home. It is hot here too, in the 90's, we had no spring this year.
Well, it was 85 degrees yesterday, and 35 degrees this afternoon. Supposed to get in the 20's tonight. Oh, and the wind is blowing at 50 mph. Had to put winter blankets on the 2 old horses. Have tomato and pepper plants in the garden already, will have to try and cover them all up. Goodness, Mame did they give a reason why your sister can't visit daycare? And, why did they tell you? They should tell your sister.
I wish I could say that I have less to do but I don't. I still have responsibilities to my mom plus the emotional connection that I don't see changing nor would I want it to. I have scheduled a dr. appt. for next Wed. Of course I could schedule it so the community takes mom on their appt. days, Tues/Thurs. but I don't want to. I had lunch with her on Tues. and last Fri. She is still adjusting as far as being more social with others, but she is sleeping well. On Tues. we had baked ham w/glaze sauce, brussel sprouts and scalloped potatoes and coconut cream pie for dessert. We went for walk with her dog, and just hung out for 2 hours. It was relaxing and nice to spend quality time instead of rushing my time with her because I needed to take her grocery shopping, give her medicine, take her for a hair cut then get home to cook dinner, do laundry or clean the kitchen. We spend much more time together and time that is not rushed and it is meaningful. My brother visited her yesterday and sis and I will see her on Sat. again. I am going to call her tonight. Once she has acclimated more I will take her out places for lunch, dinner, some shopping. We still have the house to deal with, today I went over and watered the flowerbeds and will prune all the roses on Sat. I need a caregiver and a gardener now at my house, LOL!! Hope you all have a good weekend, stay cool for those of you experiencing the summer temps!!
Mame, do not let them tell you no visitors, there is NO such thing. A day care that won't let you come at ANY time to check on your kids is the same thing, BS. and dangerous, you should be able to come by ANYTIME and see your mother is safe and being looked after. other wise they are hiding something! Red Flags! Both scenarios.
fo being jerk as usual fighting arguing trying to deceive mom from stupid things he is doing. I said to her "Don't yell! I can't take it anymore....." just dreaming of the funeral...
Going to check up and visiting are two different issues. If you are wanting to check out the environment that is different than wanting spend personal time with someone in daycare.
I tried to get my mom in daycare and boy was she pissed at me. She could still talk then and let the social worker have it up one side and down the other. I was doing all of her construction work at her house and building etc etc in addition to all of the paperwork and business. That was just about when she was starting to not bathe.
My mom was always so sharp about her appearance and it did take me about a week or so to realize what was going on. I was spanked and really needed a break but there was no way she was going into daycare. It didn't help that as soon as we got in the door some old guy, like maybe FP's long lost relative, grabbed his junk and gave it a jiggle while leering at mom. Probably also didn't help that I said, Hey mom! You've still got it!
That was also before I found this site and you guys so I didn't know that I was doing the impossible. I think it was another 4 years before I found this site and then a few months after that before I got mom in respite care for 10 weeks. Even then it was a nightmare. I felt so bad for her and felt bad for me too. My BP was 157 over 110 or something like that. Normally 110 over 70. Like now.
My heart goes out to all of you guys who are dealing with this stuff. Believe me, I know.
Cuz! 50 years ago that anniversary lady didn't have time to take off her stockings and tonight she'll have time to knit a pair. woohoo! How's Mike making out? How's your mom? Please tell them both that we all said hi.
Mame! did I see you mention a dress a few pages back? Put it on and pop it on your avatar like you did awhile ago. I mean, if you even feel like it...That was so sweet to see you all dolled up. Wasn't last time a dress for your baby's wedding? I am too fuzzy to remember whether it was your daughter (I think it was... but not sure) or son.
sharynmarie, I didn't have any less to do when mom was in board and care. In fact had more to do because I was going back and forth to handle business. Coast to coast. There's a few who are still here who gave me such amazing support. I would sit in LAX waiting for my plane to arrive and be posting online here.
When mom was in the board and care home I got to be a daughter again and not a nurse. Would bring mom sandwiches and take her out for hair and nails.
Jen! Love you gurl! You know what I am always saying and you know that we all support you and wish we could rescue you somehow. It will end and you guys will be able to scrub the sh!t stench out of that house and leave the windows open and hopefully decompress. Thinkoftheboatthinkoftheboatthinkoftheboat... Whatever your boat is or if you just want to come out and hang out on this barge and think of it haha.
Wonder how Flex and Linda and Miz! are doing. I remember Kelleybean and pamela and so many of our gang. What an amazing crew we have had in the over 3 years of getting together for this little chatfest.
Cat! How goes the chair for the AD event?
Shirley! I miss having some plants to look after. Not going to have plants on the boat though. That's a sure sign that your boat is growing a taproot when you see plants around it.
It is raining harder than ever now and a HUGE squall is moving over us as I type. I can hear the drains working and the boat is shedding water as designed! I caulked all of the windows myself and so far so good. Jeeze what a project. At first I thought that it wasn't that bad but now I am just breathing hard from the physical labor. Got the boat ready to take heavy water, took 2 tylenol, went to the used bookstore and got some Ken Follett (first 2 books of the Century Trilogy) and now I am showered and ready to crawl in and get lost in Follett's world. Fabulous writer. You get a good story and well researched history as well. Anybody read Pillars of the Earth and World Without End? (You in-the-trench-caregivers can say: Hell no haven't read a damn thing but prescription labels for the last 5 years!!!
Deef!!! How's the shoulder? Been worried that you are lifting and toting too much! Let us know...
Kuli! wassup and maybe some of our readers/lurkers will check in with an update on how they are doing?
Sometimes I think I am doing better and then I will sink into the black hole and struggle to just maintain. Screw a day at a time... it's more like an hour at a time. Last time I cried was this morning. Guess it's whatever is normal for each of us. I know that we all are doing our best.
OK, I'll shut up and hope to see from more of our crew.
Cuz Mike and ma are doing good. Me not so good. I was doing a favor for the wife's cousin husband today and rolled my riding lawnmower over on his big hill. Got a bruised neck, shoulder and big black and blue spot where the steering wheel hit the inside of my right knee.. Tractor can be fixed by me. Just found another sore spot on my elbow. Its a bitch getten old you know that? I'll tell ma ya said hi. Love you bobbie. luvCuz
Bobbie: When you take time to write it is so from the heart. Thanks for your post. I'm not in the trenches anymore, but I had a lot of years taking care of parents before I ever found this site. I can relate to the blood pressure issue. I remember after my mom had passed and we decided to go to Wales and visit my dad's family. He decided he would come with us. OMG, getting his list of shit ready for the trip, getting a house sitter to care for the dogs and the list goes on and on. I even packed some of my mom's ashes for him to take with him so he wouldn't feel without her. Good grief. I took him to the doc for one last visit and some preventative prescriptions, trying to think of every possibility. My flipping blood pressure was 180 over 110. "Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end." Then, a couple of weeks later, he got sick while we were there and we had to get him to hospital and cut our trip short and bring his ass home. This was a day before hubby and I were supposed to go to Ireland with my cousin and her husband. We were in west Wales and planned to leave in the am for Ireland. My dad was with his brother in Birmingham, England, and he had scrapped his arm and I just had a sinking feeling he was not doing well at his brother's place. Sorry, can't go to Ireland. Told my uncle to get my dad back to my aunt's place asap and we would meet him. Sure enough, dad had a fever. His arm was infected and he had pneumonia. Dad felt so bad that Warren and I didn't get to go to Ireland, but once we were in the emergency room I could tell he was scared that he would be admitted to the hospital and not get back home. It broke my heart watching him trying to be brave so I told him, "Dad, you know what we are going to do?" He said, "What?" I said, "We are going to get you some really good antibiotics, we are going to leave here and spend the night and Elaine's, and we are going to catch the first plane home we can get on tomorrow. How's that sound?" Well, the relief on his face told the story and from then on all he could say is, "I just want to go home."
Got him out of hospital, back to my cousin's place. His antibiotics were strong and the side effect was diarrhea, so he was told not to eat much, just simple soup, etc. He was so happy to know he was going home, he wanted to eat anything he could get his hands on. The next day we drove to London and got on the plane. He handed me the flight menu and said, "Order my dinner!!!" Somehow we got home without the dreaded shit storm.....Lord I did not want to do that in an airplane bathroom.
Sorry to ramble on, Bobbie, but your post just brought up those memories. Funny what the term "blood pressure" can trigger.
Cuz: Be careful. Those hills and wet grass can wreak havoc on a riding LM. And you are so right. It is a bitch getting old. I remember mowing for a neighbor some years back and my husband coming down and hill and yelling for me (on another mover) to get out of the way. Good thing he didn't hit a ditch or a ridge and go sailing.
Today Hubby and I went to our appointment with "Lifeline" to get our (tried to get the spelling right on this, but giving up now) THE ARTERIES IN YOU NECK.. checked for blockages, etc. Some other arteries too. Hope this isn't a scam, but we should have the results in 21 days and will take it to our doc. I'm set up for a physical in the next week. Hate to hear the news, but it's time to get my stuff together.
As for the Alz walk and my chair position to gather sponsors, I've got to get it in gear. I've got a team lined up of my neighbors for the walk and I'm off to get some basic sponsors for the event tomorrow.
Would have done more earlier this week, but ran into a major stumbling block. Was out in the yard the other day, picking up dog poop....lots of job security for me; when I noticed a tiny dog coming up our driveway. That's really unusual here. You just don't see stray dogs on the road, nor do you see dead dogs or cats on the side of the road. One of the things I love about this place. Anyway, WTF. So this poor thing goes up to the gate at my dad's house and then turns around and heads back toward our community road. Not 15 minutes earlier a big truck carrying rock up the hill had gone by and I knew it would be coming back, plus this little dog should not be on it's own. Eagle bait for sure.
So I get in my car and drive down the road and there it is. It responds to the sound of my car and starts coming towards my car. So I stop and get out and call it. Round the car it goes. I think it's blind. It looks really old. When I try to touch it, it tries to bite me. The rock truck comes and since our road is a single lane, I am blocking him. Tough stuff, he can wait.
Long story short, the dog went back up our road, towards my house and away from the very busy road close by. I stopped my car 4 times and tried to get it to come to me. Fourth time was the charm. It let me touch it and then allowed me to pick it up. Poor thing was is sad shape. I took it to our vet because I didn't know if it had something that my dogs could catch. It was so weak and pathetic. Good news is it went home with a vet tech last night and slept with her in bed. Bad news is it has rotten teeth and mammary cancer. I don't think this poor thing has seen a vet in it's life.
The vet tech will keep it and she can bring it to work with her every day. A couple of my neighbors will chip in with us to keep it comfortable, maybe do some tooth extractions. The teeth are the biggest problem and antibiotics are already working on that issue. The cancer is more advanced, but that is not causing her pain. Her eyesight is definitely impaired, but she will tell you when she has to go outside and jump on your leg to let you know she is done and wants to be picked up and come back inside. We stopped at the vet's office to see her today. She's all happy cause she has someone to love her. She woke up from her snooze and started yipping for the vet tech. She's an ugly little dog, a tiny wire haired terrier, but she has a great capacity to love those that are kind to her.
Long story condensed, I found the owner and that was possible because another neighbor had found this dog half frozen and walking on a busy street in the winter. It went to a rescue group and then back to the owner. Don't think that's going to happen again.
Hope everyone is hanging in there. Sending you all lots of love.
Mame, Why is your sister visiting her a the daycare? Is she worry about her n just checking the place out? Your sister should be allow to visit if you put her on a list that it is okay. The place also may want your mom to participate in certain activities with other people instead of just sitting with your sister but that is me just guessing? You should be able to talk the person in charge n find out their reasons but you still should be able to visit. Cat, I am doing better now that I have the stress load taken down a few notches with Day Center help n Hospice. Mil is eating better n gaining weight. Now I need to gain mine back. I went to see the eye dr for its been 3yrs since my last visit n found out I have 'mild diabetic retinopathy.' He made it sound like that I was doing great with having diabetes for over 38yrs since I was 10yrs old. I should be able to get my A1C level back down now the stress level has gone some. This is the first time it has went over 7pts in years. Buying n eating more healthier foods n cutting down on the stress eating. I will get it back in gear n maybe I can keep this retinopathy from progression. Thanks for asking. I hope u r doing well? Sharyn, it does seem when we r not rushing like a chicken with its head cut-off that we can actually enjoy the time to spend with r love ones. Glad u two had meaningful day n hope their are more to come... Meanwhile, I just had to go back n dig up a couple of the blankets for the mil n I for the temperature has change big time. Rain for two days here n windy. We r 10 degree lower than what it suppose to be. Cuz, the skunk joke was a funny. Thanks for sharing. I know u put up these stories for us to feel better n they so do help us but I also hope u r doing alright too?
Cuz, just saw your other post n so sorry for you. I know u got to be real sore with the black/blue marks. Healing will take time n the soreness. Bobbie, you r so lucky to not have a stroke with your b/p running like that back then. Glad u have it back down. As for the nasty raining weather, we have had it for two days now n it seems to be raining all day today. Hopefully, the wind won't uproot any trees with all this rain. Please be careful as much as possible with the huge squalls. sometimes reading a good book helps too. Cat, I hope both of u pass the Lifeline artiery test. Good luck on your AD event n I hope u enjoy yourself while doing a great deed for others. Well, I'm tired n its getting a bit late so, everyone try to get some zzzz have a good weekend.
Lildeb: Always so heartwarming to hear from you. I think of you all the time and keep you in my prayers. You take care of yourself. You come before anyone else. If you need to run away, you are always welcome to come stay with me. Same goes for others on this thread,
OK, here was my day. I have been telling my hubby for some time that we need to get out and do something different. He agrees completely, but what to do. I told him I wanted to pack a lunch and walk out on the Dungeness Spit. Walk all the way to the lighthouse. Well, we did it today. Eleven miles and my feet really hurt.
Let me tell you about this Dungeness Spit. You can google it, but bottom line is it is a natural accumulation of sandy beach and rock and driftwood. It is among the largest in the world. Great territory for birds and much of it on the southern side (guessing here) is out of bounds for walkers because it is a bird sanctuary.
The thing that just blew me away was the view. The ocean coming in, the shards of sunlight on a pacific blue ocean, the birds flying in, including bald eagles. Here's the thing about the view, you can see all the snow capped mountains of the Olympic Mountains and then you can look in the opposite direction and see the Cascade Mountains and Mount Baker. All snow capped and here you are walking in 70 degree weather with the ocean lapping up against the sand.
The lighthouse is a 5 mile walk and when you get there, you have a panoramic view of all the mountains in the background. Most are volcanoes and snow covered. Little breeze here, but the Bald Eagles fly in and accompany you on your walk. It is truly amazing.
The walk isn't so bad due to distance, but the terrain is difficult. It's flat, but so much rock and sand and it's hard to not feel off balance as you try to make your way. For me it was difficult to navigate so much rock and gravel. Hard to just have some firm ground under your feet.
Our butts were kicked by the time we got back to the beginning. Then up a steep hill and to the car. OMG, we could hardly move. We tend to over due. Maybe 6 miles on our next journey,.
Cat, your day at Dungeness Spit sounds wonderful. I looked it up on the internet and it is beautiful. I'm impressed you did 10 miles. With my bad knees I am very pleased when I can do 1 or 2 miles.
Mom turned 86 last Friday. I don't think it registered that it was her birthday, but I read her the cards and she has lots of flowers in her bedroom. She is not only drinking and no longer eating at all. She is having trouble swallowing so I know it won't be much longer before she won't be able to drink either. I'm having to giv her pain meds more often since her body is hurting. Between the rainy weather here and just lying in bed I can imagine she hurts. She keeps her eyes closed most of the time now and talks (mumbles) a lot as if she is having a conversation with someone. When she does open her eyes she is staring of into the distance. I posted a poem on the FB Caregiver Connect that was written by one of the CNA's that takes care of her. It was beautifully written. I'll try post it here too since not everyone is one FB. I got the opportunity last Thursday to escort a day trip to Strawberry Hill USA in Chesnee, SC. It was nice to get out and socialize with people. It's still rainy and overcast here so James and I may try reorganize the spare bedroom that has become a dumping ground for anything we don't know what to do with. I definitely need to finish my coffee before I face that task.
Those of you that have know me for awhile, today is one year since I attempted suicide. It has been a difficult year but I've come out better for it. I know I still have a difficult journey ahead, but I know y'all will be here for me again.
I know if I try to say hi to each and everyone of you I will leave someone out so just one big "Hi" and love and hugs to your all. Please take care of yourselves!
As I sit here and watch you sleep, What dreams are in your head? Are you making plans with Jesus? Or is there something you left unsaid?
Today I am just an outsider, curious to happenings from within. Maybe your talking with Jesus, repenting and turning over your sin.
Why, Little Momma, do you say, you do not want to leave? Eternity in Heaven only takes a moment, down on bended knee.
Today I get no smile, no talk, or no gleaming stare. Today I am just a stranger, completely unaware.
Food is needed to simply keep, the body going on. But lately your energy comes, directly from the Son.
Where are your feet Little Momma, in this world or the next? Maybe your torn between the two, you just can't seem to find any rest.
It's okay to just let go, I really thought you knew. So go see your friends & family, and your beloved husband is waiting too.
So God, when the time is right, please welcome her, and give a hug that can only come from me. I promise you will be in no more pain, just trust, let go, and see!
Diane: Thanks for bringing us up to date on your mom. Bless her. You've been through a lot this past year and all of us admire you for making such progress under such difficult circumstances. You are a strong person and an amazing daughter.
Hi guys I have not been on as much as I want to be-it seems all of the sudden I have social things comming up - I now am very happy and in a relationship with a great man-we went to highschool together but I only knew him as another student-I was hell bent to graduate and to leave my small town behind and get on with life. We will be having a memorial service for Donna and Ursula is doing good in her AL-they have made a lot of changes but she is able to go with the flow. Flex thank you for putting that poem here. It is beautiful. I am so happy to have you as a friend.
WooHoo June! So glad to hear that you are happy and getting on with a fun life! That is how it is supposed to work and I hope that you have more fun and love and laughs than you have ever had before.
Congratulations again and I hope you check in now and again to tell us what you are up to. Sweet!
Bobbie~Yes, I am still running back and forth, keeping mom supplied milk, ensure, cereal, bananas, dog food, you name it...but as you said, I can be her daughter and have relaxed visits with her, peace of mind knowing she is safe.
I am having a crazy day and I typed 'stressed to the max' into Google and one of the hits was from Psychology Today and it talked about calling mom. It said that hearing your mother's voice actually releases hormones to help you deal with stress.
Sorry, but my mother is a psycho, I learned to do without her a long time ago. Now she lives next door, and I maybe speak to her once a week. I tolerate her for my step father. I don't know how he lives with her. She barely speaks to him, unless she has something to yell at him about. Step dad will be 81 in June. I asked him to help me hang light fixtures on the adobe house. His back has been bothering him, so I told him to just sit and tell me what to do. That lasted maybe a couple of minutes, then he is climbing up the back of the ladder to help. He wired together a Christmas light to make a tester. He is still very clever. We got 3 ceiling fixtures put up, and the front porch light.
Hey Shirley, I do know what you mean. My mom could make it pretty tough on me too for so many reasons. Have written about some of them on this thread but suffice it to say: She did me dirty.
I was just having a bad day and realized how alone I was. Sometimes I know that I 'forget' how bad it was and I just want to try and remember good things.
There are things I will never understand and one of them is what it means to have a 'family'.
ok, off to try and find something funny.
DEEF!! where are you? What is going on? are you ok?
Austin, so glad to hear your having a good time. Maybe, someday when my mother is gone I will be able to remember something good about her. I mostly feel sorry for her now. Will even make her a Mother's Day dinner, and get a card and flowers. Pretend she was the perfect Mother. It is hard though. I hate to even touch her.
Bobbie you pulled me and the others out of the black hole so many times-my friend is good for me because we both had past lives that sucked so that is one reason we are soulmates-we can talk about anything and know what it is to have another person in your life who really cares. I do not think I will ever forget my childhood and my marriage and so far not many happy memories have come-my sister and I talked about it at length-she was 7 yrs younger and did she was too young to have remember how it was for me.
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Lildeb: So good to hear from you. What's going on in your world. Just know we all love you and miss hearing from you.
Deef, Diane, Bobbie and the rest. What's Up?
Cat
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding
night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired Marine , and asked,
"Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do. You wore that
same negligee the night we were married"
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that
night?
He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said: Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life
out of those boobs and screw your brains out."
She giggled and said, "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years
later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight ?"
He looked her up and down and said, " Mission Accomplished!!!
So, my sister visited mom twice now at the daycare. The daycare called me today to tell me to tell her she can't visit mom there. Apparently it is too disruptive...I guess if they are in the middle of one of their memory games... I guess I understand but part of me doesn't. I am not sure how long she was there but she was still there when I picked mom up and alls they are doing is sitting in recliners with the TV on waiting for pick up. I guess I am just surprised. I just wondered what experiences any of you have had?
Gorgeous weather here in CNY. Had mom on the deck today for lunch. She loved watching all the birds in the yard. We had to go over what trees and bushes I have out there 400 times...poor thing. I guess I have to be happy she even knows they are trees. Don't mind me, I am just itching to be free-with all this wonderful weather... UGH. Hope you all are doing well. Mame
Goodness, Mame did they give a reason why your sister can't visit daycare? And, why did they tell you? They should tell your sister.
fo being jerk as usual fighting arguing trying to deceive mom from stupid things he is doing. I said to her "Don't yell! I can't take it anymore....." just dreaming of the funeral...
I was doing all of her construction work at her house and building etc etc in addition to all of the paperwork and business. That was just about when she was starting to not bathe.
My mom was always so sharp about her appearance and it did take me about a week or so to realize what was going on. I was spanked and really needed a break but there was no way she was going into daycare.
It didn't help that as soon as we got in the door some old guy, like maybe FP's long lost relative, grabbed his junk and gave it a jiggle while leering at mom.
Probably also didn't help that I said, Hey mom! You've still got it!
That was also before I found this site and you guys so I didn't know that I was doing the impossible. I think it was another 4 years before I found this site and then a few months after that before I got mom in respite care for 10 weeks. Even then it was a nightmare. I felt so bad for her and felt bad for me too. My BP was 157 over 110 or something like that. Normally 110 over 70. Like now.
My heart goes out to all of you guys who are dealing with this stuff. Believe me, I know.
Cuz! 50 years ago that anniversary lady didn't have time to take off her stockings and tonight she'll have time to knit a pair. woohoo!
How's Mike making out? How's your mom? Please tell them both that we all said hi.
Mame! did I see you mention a dress a few pages back? Put it on and pop it on your avatar like you did awhile ago. I mean, if you even feel like it...That was so sweet to see you all dolled up. Wasn't last time a dress for your baby's wedding? I am too fuzzy to remember whether it was your daughter (I think it was... but not sure) or son.
sharynmarie, I didn't have any less to do when mom was in board and care. In fact had more to do because I was going back and forth to handle business. Coast to coast. There's a few who are still here who gave me such amazing support. I would sit in LAX waiting for my plane to arrive and be posting online here.
When mom was in the board and care home I got to be a daughter again and not a nurse. Would bring mom sandwiches and take her out for hair and nails.
Jen! Love you gurl! You know what I am always saying and you know that we all support you and wish we could rescue you somehow. It will end and you guys will be able to scrub the sh!t stench out of that house and leave the windows open and hopefully decompress.
Thinkoftheboatthinkoftheboatthinkoftheboat... Whatever your boat is or if you just want to come out and hang out on this barge and think of it haha.
Wonder how Flex and Linda and Miz! are doing. I remember Kelleybean and pamela and so many of our gang. What an amazing crew we have had in the over 3 years of getting together for this little chatfest.
Cat! How goes the chair for the AD event?
Shirley! I miss having some plants to look after. Not going to have plants on the boat though. That's a sure sign that your boat is growing a taproot when you see plants around it.
It is raining harder than ever now and a HUGE squall is moving over us as I type. I can hear the drains working and the boat is shedding water as designed!
I caulked all of the windows myself and so far so good. Jeeze what a project. At first I thought that it wasn't that bad but now I am just breathing hard from the physical labor. Got the boat ready to take heavy water, took 2 tylenol, went to the used bookstore and got some Ken Follett (first 2 books of the Century Trilogy) and now I am showered and ready to crawl in and get lost in Follett's world.
Fabulous writer. You get a good story and well researched history as well. Anybody read Pillars of the Earth and World Without End?
(You in-the-trench-caregivers can say: Hell no haven't read a damn thing but prescription labels for the last 5 years!!!
Deef!!! How's the shoulder? Been worried that you are lifting and toting too much! Let us know...
Kuli! wassup and maybe some of our readers/lurkers will check in with an update on how they are doing?
Sometimes I think I am doing better and then I will sink into the black hole and struggle to just maintain. Screw a day at a time... it's more like an hour at a time. Last time I cried was this morning. Guess it's whatever is normal for each of us.
I know that we all are doing our best.
OK, I'll shut up and hope to see from more of our crew.
love you guys way more than you'll ever know.
lovbob
luvCuz
Got him out of hospital, back to my cousin's place. His antibiotics were strong and the side effect was diarrhea, so he was told not to eat much, just simple soup, etc. He was so happy to know he was going home, he wanted to eat anything he could get his hands on. The next day we drove to London and got on the plane. He handed me the flight menu and said, "Order my dinner!!!" Somehow we got home without the dreaded shit storm.....Lord I did not want to do that in an airplane bathroom.
Sorry to ramble on, Bobbie, but your post just brought up those memories. Funny what the term "blood pressure" can trigger.
Cuz: Be careful. Those hills and wet grass can wreak havoc on a riding LM. And you are so right. It is a bitch getting old. I remember mowing for a neighbor some years back and my husband coming down and hill and yelling for me (on another mover) to get out of the way. Good thing he didn't hit a ditch or a ridge and go sailing.
Today Hubby and I went to our appointment with "Lifeline" to get our (tried to get the spelling right on this, but giving up now) THE ARTERIES IN YOU NECK.. checked for blockages, etc. Some other arteries too. Hope this isn't a scam, but we should have the results in 21 days and will take it to our doc. I'm set up for a physical in the next week. Hate to hear the news, but it's time to get my stuff together.
As for the Alz walk and my chair position to gather sponsors, I've got to get it in gear. I've got a team lined up of my neighbors for the walk and I'm off to get some basic sponsors for the event tomorrow.
Would have done more earlier this week, but ran into a major stumbling block. Was out in the yard the other day, picking up dog poop....lots of job security for me; when I noticed a tiny dog coming up our driveway. That's really unusual here. You just don't see stray dogs on the road, nor do you see dead dogs or cats on the side of the road. One of the things I love about this place. Anyway, WTF. So this poor thing goes up to the gate at my dad's house and then turns around and heads back toward our community road. Not 15 minutes earlier a big truck carrying rock up the hill had gone by and I knew it would be coming back, plus this little dog should not be on it's own. Eagle bait for sure.
So I get in my car and drive down the road and there it is. It responds to the sound of my car and starts coming towards my car. So I stop and get out and call it. Round the car it goes. I think it's blind. It looks really old. When I try to touch it, it tries to bite me. The rock truck comes and since our road is a single lane, I am blocking him. Tough stuff, he can wait.
Long story short, the dog went back up our road, towards my house and away from the very busy road close by. I stopped my car 4 times and tried to get it to come to me. Fourth time was the charm. It let me touch it and then allowed me to pick it up. Poor thing was is sad shape. I took it to our vet because I didn't know if it had something that my dogs could catch. It was so weak and pathetic. Good news is it went home with a vet tech last night and slept with her in bed. Bad news is it has rotten teeth and mammary cancer. I don't think this poor thing has seen a vet in it's life.
The vet tech will keep it and she can bring it to work with her every day. A couple of my neighbors will chip in with us to keep it comfortable, maybe do some tooth extractions. The teeth are the biggest problem and antibiotics are already working on that issue. The cancer is more advanced, but that is not causing her pain. Her eyesight is definitely impaired, but she will tell you when she has to go outside and jump on your leg to let you know she is done and wants to be picked up and come back inside. We stopped at the vet's office to see her today. She's all happy cause she has someone to love her. She woke up from her snooze and started yipping for the vet tech. She's an ugly little dog, a tiny wire haired terrier, but she has a great capacity to love those that are kind to her.
Long story condensed, I found the owner and that was possible because another neighbor had found this dog half frozen and walking on a busy street in the winter. It went to a rescue group and then back to the owner. Don't think that's going to happen again.
Hope everyone is hanging in there. Sending you all lots of love.
Cat, I am doing better now that I have the stress load taken down a few notches with Day Center help n Hospice. Mil is eating better n gaining weight. Now I need to gain mine back. I went to see the eye dr for its been 3yrs since my last visit n found out I have 'mild diabetic retinopathy.' He made it sound like that I was doing great with having diabetes for over 38yrs since I was 10yrs old. I should be able to get my A1C level back down now the stress level has gone some. This is the first time it has went over 7pts in years. Buying n eating more healthier foods n cutting down on the stress eating. I will get it back in gear n maybe I can keep this retinopathy from progression. Thanks for asking. I hope u r doing well?
Sharyn, it does seem when we r not rushing like a chicken with its head cut-off that we can actually enjoy the time to spend with r love ones. Glad u two had meaningful day n hope their are more to come...
Meanwhile, I just had to go back n dig up a couple of the blankets for the mil n I for the temperature has change big time. Rain for two days here n windy. We r 10 degree lower than what it suppose to be.
Cuz, the skunk joke was a funny. Thanks for sharing. I know u put up these stories for us to feel better n they so do help us but I also hope u r doing alright too?
Bobbie, you r so lucky to not have a stroke with your b/p running like that back then. Glad u have it back down. As for the nasty raining weather, we have had it for two days now n it seems to be raining all day today. Hopefully, the wind won't uproot any trees with all this rain. Please be careful as much as possible with the huge squalls. sometimes reading a good book helps too.
Cat, I hope both of u pass the Lifeline artiery test. Good luck on your AD event n I hope u enjoy yourself while doing a great deed for others.
Well, I'm tired n its getting a bit late so, everyone try to get some zzzz have a good weekend.
OK, here was my day. I have been telling my hubby for some time that we need to get out and do something different. He agrees completely, but what to do. I told him I wanted to pack a lunch and walk out on the Dungeness Spit. Walk all the way to the lighthouse. Well, we did it today. Eleven miles and my feet really hurt.
Let me tell you about this Dungeness Spit. You can google it, but bottom line is it is a natural accumulation of sandy beach and rock and driftwood. It is among the largest in the world. Great territory for birds and much of it on the southern side (guessing here) is out of bounds for walkers because it is a bird sanctuary.
The thing that just blew me away was the view. The ocean coming in, the shards of sunlight on a pacific blue ocean, the birds flying in, including bald eagles. Here's the thing about the view, you can see all the snow capped mountains of the Olympic Mountains and then you can look in the opposite direction and see the Cascade Mountains and Mount Baker. All snow capped and here you are walking in 70 degree weather with the ocean lapping up against the sand.
The lighthouse is a 5 mile walk and when you get there, you have a panoramic view of all the mountains in the background. Most are volcanoes and snow covered. Little breeze here, but the Bald Eagles fly in and accompany you on your walk. It is truly amazing.
The walk isn't so bad due to distance, but the terrain is difficult. It's flat, but so much rock and sand and it's hard to not feel off balance as you try to make your way. For me it was difficult to navigate so much rock and gravel. Hard to just have some firm ground under your feet.
Our butts were kicked by the time we got back to the beginning. Then up a steep hill and to the car. OMG, we could hardly move. We tend to over due. Maybe 6 miles on our next journey,.
Love you all and wishing each of you peace.
Cat
Mom turned 86 last Friday. I don't think it registered that it was her birthday, but I read her the cards and she has lots of flowers in her bedroom. She is not only drinking and no longer eating at all. She is having trouble swallowing so I know it won't be much longer before she won't be able to drink either. I'm having to giv her pain meds more often since her body is hurting. Between the rainy weather here and just lying in bed I can imagine she hurts. She keeps her eyes closed most of the time now and talks (mumbles) a lot as if she is having a conversation with someone. When she does open her eyes she is staring of into the distance. I posted a poem on the FB Caregiver Connect that was written by one of the CNA's that takes care of her. It was beautifully written. I'll try post it here too since not everyone is one FB.
I got the opportunity last Thursday to escort a day trip to Strawberry Hill USA in Chesnee, SC. It was nice to get out and socialize with people.
It's still rainy and overcast here so James and I may try reorganize the spare bedroom that has become a dumping ground for anything we don't know what to do with. I definitely need to finish my coffee before I face that task.
Those of you that have know me for awhile, today is one year since I attempted suicide. It has been a difficult year but I've come out better for it. I know I still have a difficult journey ahead, but I know y'all will be here for me again.
I know if I try to say hi to each and everyone of you I will leave someone out so just one big "Hi" and love and hugs to your all. Please take care of yourselves!
To: My Little Momma
Written By: Melissa Herndon
As I sit here and watch you sleep,
What dreams are in your head?
Are you making plans with Jesus?
Or is there something you left unsaid?
Today I am just an outsider,
curious to happenings from within.
Maybe your talking with Jesus,
repenting and turning over your sin.
Why, Little Momma, do you say,
you do not want to leave?
Eternity in Heaven only takes a moment,
down on bended knee.
Today I get no smile, no talk,
or no gleaming stare.
Today I am just a stranger,
completely unaware.
Food is needed to simply keep,
the body going on.
But lately your energy comes,
directly from the Son.
Where are your feet Little Momma,
in this world or the next?
Maybe your torn between the two,
you just can't seem to find any rest.
It's okay to just let go,
I really thought you knew.
So go see your friends & family,
and your beloved husband is waiting too.
So God, when the time is right, please welcome her,
and give a hug that can only come from me.
I promise you will be in no more pain,
just trust, let go, and see!
So glad to hear that you are happy and getting on with a fun life!
That is how it is supposed to work and I hope that you have more fun and love and laughs than you have ever had before.
Congratulations again and I hope you check in now and again to tell us what you are up to. Sweet!
lovbob
listen to this:
I am having a crazy day and I typed 'stressed to the max' into Google and one of the hits was from Psychology Today and it talked about calling mom.
It said that hearing your mother's voice actually releases hormones to help you deal with stress.
Well.......
waaaaaaaaaa.
Hope you're feeling better cuz.
Glad you're having relaxed visits sharynmarie.
Thanks for being here you guys.
lovbob
I do know what you mean. My mom could make it pretty tough on me too for so many reasons. Have written about some of them on this thread but suffice it to say: She did me dirty.
I was just having a bad day and realized how alone I was. Sometimes I know that I 'forget' how bad it was and I just want to try and remember good things.
There are things I will never understand and one of them is what it means to have a 'family'.
ok, off to try and find something funny.
DEEF!! where are you? What is going on? are you ok?
lovbob
Maybe, someday when my mother is gone I will be able to remember something good about her. I mostly feel sorry for her now. Will even make her a Mother's Day dinner, and get a card and flowers. Pretend she was the perfect Mother. It is hard though. I hate to even touch her.