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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I've never heard of a hospice nurse that wasn't great. They just help keep a patient comfortable at the end. There is a hospice house 200 miles from here. A friend took his wife there her last month. He could stay there with her, it really helped him out. But of course they won't help with long term care. My golden eagles are back. Have a pair that shows up every spring, and nest in a cliff about half a mile from my house. They're huge. Love to watch them though. Cuz, glad your doing better. Lawnmowers and horses, both dangerous.
JuJu....it seems like that your mom should qualify for more help. Is there an Area of Aging and Disablities in your town? Ask the doctor or a social worker for the home health care. They should be able to help you with the paperwork and get something set up for you and your mom. They were very helpful to me. They came in and had a respite care giver she came in for 2 days a week for 3 hours. Plus we got supplies and equipement through them. State subsidized. So they will only go by your mom's income level. No assets are used for qualifications. I would definitely check and see if there are some programs out there you can access. I know the journey is hard..and sometimes it seems the traveling never ends. But I can tell you it does...I lost my little mom of 91 this January 9th. She had a fast progression and it was horrible. But she is at peace and so am I. I will pray for the days to get easier and for you to get relief. God Bless...(((hugs)))
I talked to deef today she is OK, just really worn out and waiting for news on if she is gonna get a break or not.
you'll love this bobbie...FP IS one of those people who wants to be kept alive at any cost...doesn't it just figure?!
Western Medicine, expand the living-times well beyond the quality of being alive.
And who does it help? No one, prolongs sickness, failing, fading and the natural death process destroys the mind and body of loved ones trying to cope, often bankrupts people and to what end. They die any way, only at a much later date. Ah progress...
The religious angle is odd, considering all the hope of heaven and wanting to be with "The Lord" and all?...
Control, fear, fear of loss, inability to handle death and mourning? I don't know.
Yup, to the two above....Honestly and I hope I don't offend anyone...even before mom n dads experiences, I so believe in "Kavorkian" or physician assisted suicide. By choice of course, whats right for each person and there family and beliefs. In my twenties I watched a dear friend whither away horribly with cancer and all the "proceedures" they did to her near the end to keep her going or comfortable not sure which. And just thought this is not right....If it is inevitable you are going to die (a slow painful death), let it be your (family) choice of how much you wanna to go thru. Actually I think it is legal here in Oregon, saw that somewhere once. Anyway sorry if I offended anyone!
I want to say Thank you again everyone for your support! I have been reading so much here and learning so much it has saved me, I wish I had found n used this site much earlier but im here now and so thankful!!! Yesterday Mom not only did her parrot but treasured greeting of "hows my pretty girl" She added out of the blue "that is the prettiest smile I have ever seen". This touched me deeply as I believe she felt and saw the relief of tension/despair in me. It was a sign to me that things are gonna be ok, AS LONG AS I DO THE BEST I CAN, whatever happens happens, we will be ok!! 2ndly tho I thought has my demeanor affected her negatively, oh gosh, have I impaired her in anyway with this burnout issue...im not gonna go there I take good care of her!!! BUT............I also have read now several comments on people being mean and nasty to each other here or just someone being offensive. I HOPE I DIDN'T OR DON'T SPEW SOMETHING THATS HURTS ANYONES FEELINGS THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION, I AM JUST IN CRISIS AT THIS MOMENT, VENTING AND SPEWING 8.5YS OF PAIN N SUFFERING BOTTLED UP AND IT IS JUST FLOWING NOW, I CANT SEEM TO STOP IT AND DONT WANT TO IT FEEEELLLLSSS GGGOOOOODDDD BUT BEING SO EMOTIONAL, MY FILTER IS NOT ALWAYS A PART OF THAT. PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE OR WILL OFFEND YOU! Ms daizy...thank you for the advice. We have been thru many avenue's already sr services says they are giving us all they can, which is 3hrs respite 3 hrs bath aid, weekly. These are treasured and appreciated, but in my situation with absolutely no one to call on / in, don't help with the fears/needs. If I am sick I am screwed..I remember couple years ago having the flu so bad, I was puking non stop for nearly the whole day, literally crawled down the hall to change her, she didn't get any food till late afternoon, I just physically couldn't (by mid day I was praying for death, lol) but I digress. We are a hair over the income level apparently. I get close to nothing because in social service eyes I am choosing not be employed! they gave me $200 food card. There is a waiting list/raffle thing for state healthcare I am on the list now. We make too much to qualify for whatever else and not enough to do it on our own. I have had some wonderful ideas provided to me here of different routes to explore so I will be checking them out, and I have found that sometimes the same routes with different contacts...sometimes these workers/helpers just don't have the zest or ??? to do their homework for you. I often have to educate my Sr Service case worker on issues of the elderly?
MsDaisy...want to add so sorry for your loss As we all know...no more suffering! I kinda hate that saying (but all I can think of in my current state) cuz it really doesn't remove the pain but it is the benefit of the reality!!! I hope you are doing ok with this change in your life! Stay strong!!
juju~I haven't read anything from you that would be offensive. On these threads, it's all about respecting that each and everyone of us comes from different family dynamics, we've all had different experiences so no offense here. You are doing the best possible for you situation, take care!!
Juju...never feel that you would be offensive. We have lived the life you are currently living. We know the frustrations of care giving and the desperation of feeling alone in it. What ever you need to say...say it. Especially if it makes you feel better and gives you the support from others you need. We have all done it. Believe me...when I first accessed this site..my cries were plenty, and these wonderful people got me through the roughest of times. I do believe when our loved ones are suffering so much...it is a blessing. And the thought that she has no more pain is one of the benefits...among many... in the realms of eternal peace. You do what you have to do to survive...and thrive. I hope you will come back and keep coming back. As you see...my mom has been gone now for 5 months and I am still here. The love shown here is therapy for me. Thanks for your kind words. God Bless you...and everyone here at Agingcare.
Today was a wonderful day! I smiled so much and truly felt the smile, genuinely...been a long time since I didn't have to fake it!!! I love all I read and learn here but I am ODing on info now... I needa take a break and let this first wave of info soak in! spend more time doing something bout our situation now that I am feeling a little less hopeless and more empowered! Knowledge Is power and thank everyone for sharing deep personal experiences, I believe it is beneficial to both the sharer and the shareee, lol!!!
So my gross story to give ya all a laff...couple weeks ago changing mom poopy butt (she can stand for changing and transfer to but is not allowed to walk) so I got her up next to bed to clean n dress for the A.M. I begin and it is a mess, everywhere she had a loose one. So my back n things start aching as I am bending to clean her up....I decide I gotta sit, so I do. I was horrified as I felt the warmth soak into my jammies...ughh......right in the soaking wet/soiled bed pad. I laffed so damn hard, after I got me cleaned up, it is all I can do! Now that is humiliation at its finest! I am gonna be so busy next few days, playing catch up from past week, so hopefully I wont be ranting like a maniac here for a bit anyway, hahaha Have a great day, Juju!!!
Relieved but still have insomnia, ughh! so I'll add one more thing. As both a caregiver and a women I wanted to share this. I don't usually follow celebrity news but so proud of Angelina Jolie for doing what she did. She has been questioned about some things in the past but I think she is setting a brave example for women and awareness. Being proactive in making sure she is around to mother her pack o kids!!! I never knew there was even a test like that available! I wonder if insurance covers it and the preventative and reconstructive surgery??? (not that I have any insurance, lol)
Juju remember you are doing the best you can with what was handed to you - and your Mom calle you her pretty girl with a great smile so she feels secure in your care so please do not worry that you aren't doing enough.
my husband died 4 yrs ago next month the day after Faraha Facett and Micheal Jackson and I stayed on here to help give back support to other using my unasked for experience and because I had formed friendships with so many-some of who remain also after caregiving -we learn from each other and support each other and pull folks out the the black hole-I was in the black hole myself but did not have a name for it and most important I learned why my mother treated us kids and especially my so bad-she was narcistic and it was not me being bad as she always told me it was her meanness-she changed who I would have been but did survive her and an abustive marriage and now at this age fell in love with a great man whom by the way went to high school with many many years ago.
I am taking off tomoro tho for several days to see my beloved friend 2 hrs away.I miss her so, we planned this while ago as for her return from a month in France, to see her parents/family...The timing couldn't be more perfect except for I was so down last week I felt I would not be able to get us there, im stressing now but a good stress just lots to get done so we can go!! BCUZ......We ARE packing up the crew and getting a change of scenery!!! Love to you all!
Austin, Thank you for your kind and comforting thought, yes that is true isn't it? just had to share good for you about your man. I actually re-united with my high school sweetheart after 25 ys. I was with him when this mom thing happened and things went bad for us, unfortunately, we went back n forth, off n on for years but I couldn't keep him happy and take care of mom too!! it was painful decision, more painful than my divorce, but ultimately he did have some anger issues and maybe I was done a favor, is the way I look at it.. it was swept up in the romance fairytalishness of the situation...to find and love again so much later. I am so happy you have that chance to live a fairytale I don't wanna throw a blanket on it by any means, but do wanna say keep your eyes wide open as you enjoy it. so happy for you I will pray this works out for you, we all need somebody, if I could find a decent prospect wit a full set o teeth out here I mite actually think maybe I should date again!
Just want to add, as I kinda missed it earlier, about Angelina Jolie...not only is she preserving her childrens future with her! she is saving many a future caregiver the misery of escorting their loved one thru a miserable death! That's why I felt I had to say it here!!! She Is doing all a solid!!!
Us seniors were talking about what we would want in a man and the major thing was that he could drive at night-he and I graduated from high school 54 yrs ago.
Oh my, 54 years ago, That is awesome and something to consider very special!! Oprah worthy, lol!!!
Oh you ladies are crackin me up, yup driving at nite is a good thing...so are the teeth!
Take care y'all....
Headed out early tomoro to see my BESTIE haven't socialized with since last August! SO looking forward a day with her then on to a couple nites at the beach, hopefully she will join us there too once she gets her weekly work schedule!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My golden eagles are back. Have a pair that shows up every spring, and nest in a cliff about half a mile from my house. They're huge. Love to watch them though.
Cuz, glad your doing better. Lawnmowers and horses, both dangerous.
you'll love this bobbie...FP IS one of those people who wants to be kept alive at any cost...doesn't it just figure?!
Western Medicine, expand the living-times well beyond the quality of being alive.
And who does it help? No one, prolongs sickness, failing, fading and the natural death process destroys the mind and body of loved ones trying to cope, often bankrupts people and to what end. They die any way, only at a much later date. Ah progress...
The religious angle is odd, considering all the hope of heaven and wanting to be with "The Lord" and all?...
Control, fear, fear of loss, inability to handle death and mourning? I don't know.
Yesterday Mom not only did her parrot but treasured greeting of "hows my pretty girl" She added out of the blue "that is the prettiest smile I have ever seen". This touched me deeply as I believe she felt and saw the relief of tension/despair in me. It was a sign to me that things are gonna be ok, AS LONG AS I DO THE BEST I CAN, whatever happens happens, we will be ok!! 2ndly tho I thought has my demeanor affected her negatively, oh gosh, have I impaired her in anyway with this burnout issue...im not gonna go there I take good care of her!!!
BUT............I also have read now several comments on people being mean and nasty to each other here or just someone being offensive. I HOPE I DIDN'T OR DON'T SPEW SOMETHING THATS HURTS ANYONES FEELINGS THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION, I AM JUST IN CRISIS AT THIS MOMENT, VENTING AND SPEWING 8.5YS OF PAIN N SUFFERING BOTTLED UP AND IT IS JUST FLOWING NOW, I CANT SEEM TO STOP IT AND DONT WANT TO IT FEEEELLLLSSS GGGOOOOODDDD BUT BEING SO EMOTIONAL, MY FILTER IS NOT ALWAYS A PART OF THAT. PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE OR WILL OFFEND YOU!
Ms daizy...thank you for the advice. We have been thru many avenue's already sr services says they are giving us all they can, which is 3hrs respite 3 hrs bath aid, weekly. These are treasured and appreciated, but in my situation with absolutely no one to call on / in, don't help with the fears/needs. If I am sick I am screwed..I remember couple years ago having the flu so bad, I was puking non stop for nearly the whole day, literally crawled down the hall to change her, she didn't get any food till late afternoon, I just physically couldn't (by mid day I was praying for death, lol) but I digress. We are a hair over the income level apparently. I get close to nothing because in social service eyes I am choosing not be employed! they gave me $200 food card. There is a waiting list/raffle thing for state healthcare I am on the list now. We make too much to qualify for whatever else and not enough to do it on our own.
I have had some wonderful ideas provided to me here of different routes to explore so I will be checking them out, and I have found that sometimes the same routes with different contacts...sometimes these workers/helpers just don't have the zest or ??? to do their homework for you. I often have to educate my Sr Service case worker on issues of the elderly?
Thanks everyone and have a wonderful day!!!
pee on the haters.
msdaisy, so sorry for your loss. Thanks for being here.
lovbob
I do believe when our loved ones are suffering so much...it is a blessing. And the thought that she has no more pain is one of the benefits...among many... in the realms of eternal peace.
You do what you have to do to survive...and thrive. I hope you will come back and keep coming back. As you see...my mom has been gone now for 5 months and I am still here. The love shown here is therapy for me. Thanks for your kind words. God Bless you...and everyone here at Agingcare.
So my gross story to give ya all a laff...couple weeks ago changing mom poopy butt (she can stand for changing and transfer to but is not allowed to walk)
so I got her up next to bed to clean n dress for the A.M. I begin and it is a mess, everywhere she had a loose one. So my back n things start aching as I am bending to clean her up....I decide I gotta sit, so I do. I was horrified as I felt the warmth soak into my jammies...ughh......right in the soaking wet/soiled bed pad. I laffed so damn hard, after I got me cleaned up, it is all I can do! Now that is humiliation at its finest!
I am gonna be so busy next few days, playing catch up from past week, so hopefully I wont be ranting like a maniac here for a bit anyway, hahaha
Have a great day,
Juju!!!
Love to you all!
Oh you ladies are crackin me up, yup driving at nite is a good thing...so are the teeth!
Take care y'all....
Headed out early tomoro to see my BESTIE haven't socialized with since last August! SO looking forward a day with her then on to a couple nites at the beach, hopefully she will join us there too once she gets her weekly work schedule!
How long has this been going on?
We're here sweet girl.
lovbob
xoxo
It's good to see you Linda! Hope you're doing ok.
Love to Debbie.
lovbob