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Agree, Clorox Wipes and odor absorbing trash can liners are the (unofficial) co sponsors of Care Giving!

Mame, hmn too close to write about it, it would NOT be funny now and I'd probably get arrested...
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civilians is right bobbie...Like most things but only MORE SO...anyone who hasn't done care giving hasn't got a damn clue and can shut it!
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Jen sorry your mom is giving you such a hard time. Your mother is probably nothing like mine, but I just had to finally quit trying to get her approval, or even care about what she thinks. It made my life so much easier. Funny thing, when I started doing that, she got nicer.
Mame, hope you get some more time off.
Juju, sorry about your ordeal. I used to work in hospitals; know about incompetent doctors. It is really hard to find a good one.
Stepdad keeps having insulin reactions. Mostly because he dozes off in the evening before eating a bedtime snack. That and his diabetes is getting more brittle with age. Mother won't let me help, she would rather be the martyr.
Sharyn, how is little dog doing? Sometimes they calm down once they get used to new surroundings.
Have some varmit getting in the chicken coop at night. Have lost 3 chickens so far. Have set a live trap. Sister is betting on a racoon, I think it is a skunk.
Hope everyone has a good week.
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Hello everybody. Love to read your comments. How do you know when you have terminal burnout, and you can't go anymore? My mother never had borderline personality disorder, she was always the best, sweetest person in the world and always so good to me. That's kept me going, but now with her bipolar and new dementia, she is now the biggest bitch ever. I'm sure you know what I mean. Only now and then my real, sweet mother seems to drop back in for a couple of minutes. Then she's gone again, and the new one is here to bitch and weep.

She's got the crazy dementia and Parkinson-type movement issues that make her completely weak (on and off, because nothing ever stays the same), but it's the constant reproaches. I'm just not used to it from her. When I was a bad kid, okay, I deserved it. It's the irony. Now I don't.
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Hi
I swear that hospital Is gonna kill me yet...the "Patient Advocate" as I thought was producing a stall tactic ...I knew she did not have to "check with supervisor on records release policy and had no idea what paperwork had to be filled out" and "reasonable amount of time to provide me the answer was 2 days" jeez people I might be depressed but I am not stupid...
So my last effort for the day at the stroke of 5, miraculously, call records yourself like you did in Feb, DUH....I will be picking up her entire history at 2 tomoro on way to ortho appt for the newly discovered mangled spine! Man the Patient Advocate was in damage control mode and I knew! Next I need to have the presents of mine to start recording all conversations I could not even see strait all weekend let alone figure that out on new cell lol
Hired a replacement for the gal who quit..she is going to do eves so I can get out to dinner with friends or something instead of am when no one around.
when calling in new provider number...gave that gal a kick in ass and found a couple of mystereiously brand new programs

The power of the purge is working! I see love n light for Ma n I

You guys are the best!

Luv
juju
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actually the more I process what I saw on those exrays...omg This mite be it...
This could be HOSPICE not home health...I wanted a lil more time to pull our life outta the crapper...no wonder I freaking flipped out! I don't think I am worrying too much on this one...he spine looks horibble no wonder.. and that DR...that had got to be the worst attitude I have eeeevvverrr delt with...

works in mysterious ways and she was put before me to not help my mother with her pain but to help me with mine!!!! I couldn't save my family but I got ma's back!! NOW

and she is gonna feel my pian....walked in the room and looked at ma and went ewwww she don't look good! it went down the swirlpipe so fast from there it was insane....
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I finally broke down on Facebook to all my local "friends?"
these friends that know I am stuck her not only in the house with ma but out of the house...they know I cant even let my dogs out and or go out in my own yard...(due to a sink hole found in dec) further imprisoning me. I cant even go in my own yard to play with my dogs... this CG heck seems to permeate everything, house yard etc.... anyway I digress....So they know what up but just too busy. well the phone actually rang and a friend came to help me with ma..i could not have possibly done it without her...she brought cold beer too!!!. we talked and laffed....
We now have planned to put my scuba gear on her son tie a rope on him and he can mow the yard down...we laffed so hard, I needed that. when school is out next week josh gonna come over n help me with yardwork and getting the front done where it safe but not fenced....or grass just weed n gravel but least house wont look abandoned. I have had not one moment for anything but mom in so long grass Is waist high n crap in front wheelchair ramp installers left behind still in a crap pile...so I got me some south county curb appeal going!

It will be nice to have it look nice! gonna have to ...prob got to sell anyway so good for either result!

k well I am scared to death now that I am gonna lose her tooo fast...just give me one more mothers day to do it right!
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Mame~We had 108 degrees on saturday then sunday night...thunder, lightening and rain, today overcast in the 80's. Go figure!! I wish I was more like you because I cry whenever I talk about my mom, when I hear the Star Spangled Banner. Baptisims. weddings, you get the drift. It gets embarrassing at times!! I hope your mom's pain is manageable!!
Jen~Clorox wipes are a gift, I use them to wipe out mom's laundry hamper after I do her laundry before placing clean laundry back in it.
Bobbie~I love the civilians tags..you are so right!!
juju~I am also spending a mint on Kleenex...it is a grieving process and I am still grieving the loses my mom goes through as well as the losses we as a family are experiencing.

It has been a challenging day dealing with Midget's barking. When she can't see me she barks...when she is quiet I reward her with a treat and tell her quiet..good girl. It is going to take a lot a time. She is officially kicked out of the community so if I cant get her trained,she will have to go to my brother's house. Have a good night and a good tomorrow!!
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Ok how the heck am I going to do this:
How am I not gonna let her see my stress... I just got her so happy and now she is asking me why I am crying how do I do this?
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I line mom's laundry basket with a garbage bag... And use one of mine for the clean stuff. Mom watched a movie out in our living room with us tonight. Her back is really bothering her and I hope she sleeps well. Poor thing. I should be in bed but just wanted to check in... Kinda lonely here... haha...as if it is ever any different! Anyway... I told mom tonight that I really need to clean her rooms tomorrow. That I would set her up in our living room with the TV and dust and vacuum her rooms.... She says, "oh, I should do that" I told her that I thought her vacuuming days were over and she says, "Are you calling me an old lady?!" I tried not to laugh, and told her she could dust but that I was afraid the vacuum was too heavy and she might fall... She liked that answer. :) Off to bed. Mame
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at least I know my BFF has got my back...she sez I can move down to their place if things don't work out...they have a lil farmhouse on an acre and a camper out back... she sed we will make it work!!! at least I have that!!!
and HER. actually her name is Angelique. I have always called her "my Angel" and now she is!!! We were best friends back home.. we got in a spat over something stupid, 1998, parted ways 2006 I move to Oregon, 2011 I get a FB message...They have seen my face in the feed for the local music community down there...right were I wish I woulda moved if I had known 95miles south.
anyway...its like hey we know you. We got together and it was just like old times., I feel so at home and loved with their family!! She is a beautiful person I had always reqretted our spat and now she has been the one getting me thru this since then, the only one, teaching me to have faith and pray...she had her prayer group sunday take care of us and all this good happened monday! I am amazed because my ,mom denounced religion and was so unhappy and no w it is saving me...I don't get the bible. but I get faith in a power greater than yourself,,,,anyway I must type something happy here so I can go take care of mom without crying so I did. I found "my Angel" that is how I will do this!
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Meanwhile: You probably know this, but if it is a raccoon getting your chickens, they normally eat the stomach matter and leave the rest. If it's a skunk, you should get a sense of the skunk smell. Googgle it and see what you can learn. Some of the stuff I learned in a chicken 101 class we took in early spring.

Hey everyone, sad day in mudville. Our little Kildeer pair lost all their eggs. I'm pretty sure it was due to crows. Can't be too angry as everyone needs to eat and feed their babies. The Kildeers did have an earlier brood that did well. Still waiting for the baby quail to show up. Should be soon.

Only one group of geese this year. They have 3 babies and we love to see them. I guess we are being selfish, but we are sorry there are not two geese families. Don't know why, but they know better than us what works.

We are worried about Marcus, our sweet boy Sheltie. He has an IBS situation and we have had him on special food and now on a new set of meds. Still has blood in his stools. I'm scared on some level. He and Mattie, our other sheltie, are such good friends. You never find them but a few feet from each other and the play together with all their heart and soul. I just don't want to lose one of them and have the other left without.

I continue to raise money for the Alz walk which isn't until late September. I have to admit to another selfish wish. I had hoped I might meet some new friends during this endeavor, but everyone the makes the meetings are employees of facilities, most of which I am sorry to say I know, and the one other person is busy taking care of her mom. Hey we all get that. But I will keep on. I've raised a few thousand and will continue.

Sending love and white light to everyone. Cattails
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OH oh cattails thank you....ALZ walk.. this Is a good time for that...since I have o few of my friends attention. I went last year with ma, made a weekend of it in Eugene...just got flyer over weekend...I will do that to distract me!! work on pledges..perfect timing!!!
Thanks
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meanwhile I agree, be different when i am independent or rich or both....

Clorox wipe down everything he touches...i listen...then act.
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My mom doesn't have any visitors...Its sad.But she clearly drives people away,with her attitude.She had that even before she got dementia.Yesterday she cut off a bunch of her white hair on top of her head..she is obsessed with dying her hair every week.You ought to see my bathroom counter.It will never be the same.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: someone sent me this last nite..." I was gonna reward myself for a hard weeks work with a glass of wine, but then I realized it was Monday" perfect for my weekend...how did she know? lol? it is the littlest things that work for me....a quote, a joke, a song...It really got me outta my head and relaxing....slept 6hrs last nite but b4 bed I cleaned kithchen and found so many plates of food...I cant eat much..i try couple bites and that is it..yuck...nothing taste good but im starving...Ramen is about it...when I try to sleep n hunger pain keep me awake...Ramen!! I love Ramen, not!
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And this sinkhole...omg....my friend n I walking thru yard to get supplies to cover roof that is caving in. with tarp n 2X4's so we walking along yappity yap and out of my peripheral vision I just see her drop into ground...omg..we freaked it that moment..it was like a scary movie...it was noon on a clear day and all the screaming that went on...no one heard a thing...she was 15 ft down a hole in ice cold mud water and I could not get her out I almost fell in...I had to stop n think for a moment and get her to calm down then I was able to think she could touch ground so I ran for the extendoladder...and I dragged her a** out...

I tell this story cuz Thursday after our whole ordeal at ER... came home at 2am...my lil ziggy escaped trying to get ma in and went for a critter up the mountain I caught him as he was going thru fence....
but at 2am I had to forge thru waist high grass in this yard, pitch black not nowing if it was a deer or mountain lion he was going after...etc..and if it was in my yard etc in the grass etc....
I think that compounded things for me......we need to do something, move or repair cant keep going...

anyway taking ma in to ortho dr today and pick up her records....then out to eat... we deserve it...I wanna be served lol!!
LOve you guys!
JUju
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Just have to add I used facebook to bring awareness to the plight and beg all my friends to get with their folks and start this discussion early so you don't live this h***.....the responses have been wonderful! I hope I can help somehow...I am so helpless otherwise

now I have to decide to I fight for mom and sacrifice more of this time where she n I are really making progress...or turn the cheek which is immoral to me, to take care of my own like everyone else..... this will be a heartbreaking decision for me either way! this one I must really just see how it pans out...it is out of my hands. Jesus take the wheel!
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ok so this is now full circle here...what started my discontent with these friends is the alz walk last year...I posted regularly once a week for months my progress I donated $50 and if each one of my friends gave $5, the cost of a 6pk or pack of smokes we can all do something to help and crickets....not one person donated a darn thing, not even to walk with us. I was heartbroken!
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all these people who post their love n support post it too look good but don't do a thing!!
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That is when I truly understood human nature!! WE WALKED ALONE
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rosebud -I recognize what you are saying. M mother was diagnosed a few years ago with Borderline Personality Disorder. She is narcissistic and is increasingly paranoid. I have cut myself off periodically - for months and once fir a year -for my own mental health. I had diagnosed her informally many years ago and it was a relief to hear the professionals say it. She is 101 now and pretty healthy physically and lives un an ALF. I could not possibly take her into my home and I don't know how you do it. I a 75 now and have my own health issues, but would never have been able to take her in. It isn't easy as it is, and emotional abuse still sets off a lot of stress at times. Take care. I love my mother too, and want to help her as I can, but have had to emotionally detach as much as I am able. Be sure you look after you!
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I cant help it now....OMG my mother just greeted me in her usual way...then added out of the blue looking right into my eyes.."I love you...there Is some good stuff going on in there"...
I FREAKING KID YOU NOT....POWER OF PRAYER AND POSITIVITY!
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Waiting for a phone call from my mother's ex doctor's office to find out what happened at her last visit with him. The nurse said he has seen him 8 times, so he should have a good idea about her issues, and that they looked after her very well. I agreed.

She seems to ne on a high right now as "the scheme to get her out of her ALF" hasn't worked. Her paranoia is increasing, I can't go down this week, but maybe in a week or two.

sharyn - the business of having everyone agree is familiar to me. Mother wants everyone "on her side" and gets upset if you disagree - no matter how carefully you phrase it.
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sorry - posting on the wrong thread - that kind of morning
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Is all good you are welcome here too!
lovbob
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Thx bob and I know, but can hardly keep up with one "home" thread
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True that.
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I tend to stay on this thread for the most part...sometimes I will chime in on a new question that arises... but I am happy here and finally have those of you who have been on here for a long time straight! I used to have to go back and reread your profiles etc. I can't imagine keeping lots of ppl straight on different threads!
Mom didn't go to daycare today. Her back does seem better. I cleaned her rooms...dusted and vacuumed. She is happy. The daycare requires she go at least once a week so I talked to the director and said that I can't be sure she will make it all this week...It just depends. Happily, she said they are loyal to their people and aren't going to go fill her spot or anything...She does have a good reason too so that helped! If mom keeps going like she is today-maybe she will go Thurs! We'll see.
Juju-a sink hole? Did you see the one in FL a month ago that swallowed a whole house? And a man inside it? That is some crazy sh**!!!!! How big is this hole? You need to put up a fence around it to keep anyone from falling in again. Good grief-how scary! Glad you found your BFF again!
Spooky-hide the scissors! And welcome!
Cat-so sad about the bird eggs! Bummer. And your Sheltie-I hope his tummy troubles are not too severe. We are so attached to our fur babies!
Hi Bobbie and Emjo and Jen and the rest of the crew.
Rained all day here today and yesterday. About to go out of my mind with bordom. Not that a sunny day is any less boring! But I do get out for a walk with the dog on less rainy days. Son returns home tomorrow morning from his trip out to Washington. It will be very busy around here again. Also, he is very chatty! So, changes in store! Well, hubby is pulling in the driveway! Ba-bye! Mame
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Mame, you got BOAT time!!!!
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