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I wrote a long post and then lost it. Bottom line is I have decided I will not leave here until Fart Pants takes the final dirt bath/oven bake. I do not want to miss that long awaited moment.
Jen, in the meantime, please take a shower and wash you hair. I have no way to truly experience what you feel, but it doesn't really matter. You need to do something everyday that you can feel good about. Take a shower first thing in the morning. Take all of your clothes; wash and iron them. If you are up to it, do that for your mom. Just do something that is positive. It's not about someone telling you that you did good, it's about you knowing you made something cleaner than it was before. Maybe you can write about what it feels like to iron a shirt or take a shower after not bathing for so long. Keep it close to the chest. Keep it where you are and know that we are with you in spirit.
Jen! Steal some $$ from FP and go get some new clothes!
I think I read somewhere that we try to make ourselves unattractive when we know someone that makes us sick is creeping on us. FP has been creeping on you since you were a little girl and I hope you take back your power and don't let him win. Don't let your mom win either. We know you love her but she is sick with the FP crazy and not thinking right. That's a HUGE problem with caregiving the crazy. It makes US not think right!
Demented = Crazy. Never forget that.
Love you Jen.
Sharynmarie, glad you are being proactive. I know that sometimes a facility won't let family visit for a few weeks while a patient becomes acclimated. It's brutally hard but what do you do when there is no reason? There's no North Star to steer by.
Cat: Now you're talking. You hang out with us and let's get our girl Jen through this.
Cuz! Today's the day for Mike's doctor visit. Hope he gets some relief and I hope you keep us posted. Love to all. I always wondered if there was a big adjustment to them taking veins out of someone's legs for bypass. I can't imagine the pain he must be in.
Juju! Mame! Flex! wassup. Frustrated! Welcome to the Home of Vent and Live!
ok, not supposed to rain today so I am off to work on the outside for a few hours. The heat index will hit 105 degrees so we have to be really careful.
Thank you everyone... I did get up early today and took a shower after standing in the rain for a bit, felt nice. did some sewing. Am pulling a 1974 here and turning a couple old sheets into around the house mou mous...not Star Wars of course, no big rainbows either just plain ones...I don't know...I just gave an interview to a woman form the AP about discrimination in the medical field for fat women. There was stuff I couldn't really mention but I did mention being a full time "care giver" gonna use that term lightly now...I don't care, I just provide services...She mentioned she has a sister or cousin doing care giving too and her life is not the same...or even close...yep...Not Even Close...I am close to losing it at time, and the first of the month cash in wallet has me seriously thinking of staling it and running away..but if I could do that. Would I be here? thank you meanwhile AND JUJU AND FRUSTRATED I HOPE YOU FIND THIS SITE AS HELPFUL AS I CONTINUE TO...AND WE ALL FIND SOME PEACE SOME HOW SOON.... Love Jen
Thank you cat for hanging in here. What if it is more YEARS?, what if he sees 95 or 96...God I really can't take that. I really can't and I don't think my mom can either...
Thank you bobbie for you original post that I KNOW has saved lives and sanity and given so many people hope and allowed them to let off steam while others condemn them for feeling they are entitled to it! Thank you deef for always being there, and rip and mame and sharyn and Cuz with laughter for solace, and Diane who i think shares a lot of my pains minus that she really loved her mom and has that extra pain to deal with.
Yesterday Mom cooked Pork livers. Now ... if you have read my posts, you know I despise the smell of pork. YUCK. Pork livers! How gross can that be?? The body filtering system for a filthy pig and she's smackin' and eatin' .. yuck.
And if HER eating the pork livers isn't bad enough .... she will feed the Chihuahua dog pieces of it ... and she doesn't put it in the dog bowl ... she will throw pieces of meat out into the middle of the living room floor on my beige, shag rug.
Jen Im so proud of you for getting showered, dressed and sewing. I swear I wear the same 4 pairs of slacks everyday of the year. Now that I have time and TONS od fabric I need to get sewing too. Send me your address on Facebook and I'll mail some fabric to you too. Warning, mom had very colorful taste when it came to fabric :)
BJ, so sorry you're being grossed out. Forgive me, but your post made me laugh.....she's smakin and eatin......My imagination is running away with that.
Speaking of Pork Liver, we had a cat years ago (Fluffy) who simply would not eat regular cat food. We had to get a special recipe from the vet and make this cat's food at home. One of the ingredients was pork liver. We had to make regular big batches of this cat food concoction and then freeze it in small amounts for everyday meals. I hated the smell of that pork liver cooking away on stove. To our great relief, however, Fluffy loved this food and happily gobbled it down.
Jen: Good for you. I have a lot of fabric too. All kinds of different stuff that you would be welcome too. I'm not very good with a sewing machine so I would rather have the space than the fabric. I can send it to Diane to send on to you.
FP is not going to make it to 95 so don't even think of it. Seriously, don't think of it; there's no point. Just do something positive for this day.
When I could get into the shower before my day started with my dad, I felt better, like I had already accomplished something for myself. I had already moved out of the holding pattern by taking that step.
Hey bobbie Got Mike to the dr today. He said that all the major valves in his left leg are clogged but the blodd is finding its way through to the bottom and backup. The swelling is due to all the water trapped in his legs. He changed some of his meds. He also said something about being anemic. He has to go back in 6 weeks for a blood work up to see if the med change is helping. Something about the count should be around 12 but it is only 6. Right now if he walks over 50 feet he has to stop cause his legs hurt so bad. He can't really excercise so his weight shot up since his last visit 3 weeks ago. Its probably just water weight cause he hardly eats anything. I will keep you informed as I find out more from dr. Long distance hugs to you. Love you Cuz
Sharynmarie: Just want you to know that I am thinking of you. So sorry for the issues with your mom. I think you are doing the right thing by staying away for a while. Sending you encouragement. Don't let her manipulate you. Hugs.
Hi everyone....It has been a crazy 48hrs! I was so disgusted with the records in ma"s Hospital file. After I got an hour of sleep Sunday nite. I had no choice but to pack up and get us to a real hospital. I couldnt even get dressed, at some point monday morning became painfully obvious i needed to get ma taken care of properly. I thru as much in the car as i thought i would need. and took off asap in jammies..5hrs in no a/c heat and ma cant open window, she get so cold. I was sweaty disgusting mess by time i got there. She is in hospital now and we are getting her re-evaluated! Still having admin issues...but I will pray we get her taken care of. I have a stress knot in my neck like you wouldnt beleive..my arm is going numb at times, ughhh but we gettiing her taken care of. I grabbed 3 tshirts and apair of leggings outta laundry, and guess what...when i finally get a shower and go to put em on...they are moms..hehehe so i gotta go to walmart tomoro and get something to wear. I took the most restful nap today and know i will sleep good tonite...MY intention is to never go back to that pit of a town permanently, anyway i hope. I did not sound good from what i heard today but they have not got our history yet. So they had admitted her Monday and tomoro i will get together with the team there. I brought my lappy but no time yet...i will enjoy catching up with you all soon PRAY FOR US!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Cat~It was hard taking the phone away from her but we had to so it forces her to put her energy into something else. Thanks for thinking about us...it will pass in time!
Nice n rested her! have a plan to rent my house out and realtor is looking for a rental for me here! i may have no choice but to put her in SNF at this point there is so much to get done...so i will start on that once I resolve her health issue's today! Interviewing n touring the facilities. ALL I WANNA DO IS BE WITH MY MOMMA NOW, THIS SUCKS!!! Hopefully the chaos will end today! That will be my last resort! i have the names of 4 here tho..i have no home health or hospital at home to use so it may have to be while I sort this out! Hope you all are hangin in there!!!
Cuz, that does sound like the Doc is talking about your brothers hemoglobin. 6 is critical, but if he is retaining that much fluid, it might not be a true value. The excess fluid is diluting his hemoglobin. But, he can't have much energy with those readings. Sure hope he gets to feeling better.
Oh ya, well i finally got the diagnosis on me and my pain n issues...was so releived to have new good NP...However went to pick up meds Sat and it was nearly $250...trying to get ahold of dr from here but we are playing phone tag. as i do not get cell reception where i am staying! I am going to have to research them anyway...I will no longer put anything in my body by RX after the fosomax incident. I could not even get tylenol outta the hospital, after midnite when i got back to her after situating dogs. i went n bought next AM tylenol and thermacare heat wraps! I am in so much pain. i did have flexorol i found in med chest from while back, helps but make me too drowsy so that is why i stopped...i had forgotten about them. found in ma's bag and did help me sleep good. but now up n running pain is back! idk what to do bout this situation...ibu n tylenol i guess!! Cant very well massage my own neck n back! oh ho hum n a bottle of rum!!! Thanks for letting me vent again...I have a plan today at least! Onward n upward!
Cuz! How is Mike feeling today? I hope that he gets some relief. I can't imagine. Juju! Glad you have a plan. That can make the problem seem smaller. I was always a big List person. Gotta make a list. You're doing a lot better Juju! Keep venting and writing it out. It works as you can see!
Shirley! way to go with the translation on cuzMike's situation. Thanks for that. I have no medical knowledge.
Jen! So happy to see you check back in and we are all ready for a Jen post anytime you feel like lobbing one over here. Cat is right, it's not going to last forever it just seems that way and the 'seems' is what's a bummer.
I know when I was in the thick of it I thought about going out and getting arrested so at least I would get a place to lay down and someone else doing the cooking. I figured if I did something stupid on a Friday night I wouldn't be out until Monday afternoon. Of course I didn't do that because I wouldn't leave my mom but I had a good time threatening myself with it.
lildeb!! how are you feeling and how are all those tests going? I keep meaning to ask and get in the middle of a post and then space it. Not-so-early-onset.... I hope you're doing ok but maybe you'll let us know?
Mame! are you circling the black hole or have you beat it back and are getting some fun in somewhere. Let us know.
Lindaheart! What are you up to? Let us know! We miss you!
Christina! I have been feeling better in that I can chime in here and there and always enjoy seeing your posts.
msdaizy! how is it going? Hey Book! DEEF!!!
BJ I am still laughing about the pork. omg. Ages ago I used to do a bit about 'Babe', the movie with the pig. Bottom line is at the end of the joke I would say: Sure could go for a BLT right about now.... The audience was usually horrified. I loved it.
Frustrated! keep checking in, it makes a difference.
Sharynmarie, how's the no phone thang going... Hope you are doing some things that you have been putting off... like going to a movie or just not jumping up and down to someone else's rhythm. let us know.
Kuli, Rip, Miz, Cricket! Kelleybean, Pam, all crew past and present, I hope you guys are doing ok.
I have been feeling punk for the last few days and it just boils down to being heatsick and the fact that I can't drink. I didn't think we could move anywhere hotter but we did and the heat index has been around 105 for the last week. I step outside the boat and lose my mind. The boat angel has no problem with it and works outside while I hide inside. I know I will do better in the next few days. There was a boater get-together a few days ago and I had some rum. I am such a pussy because it took 2 days for me to get my act together again. Arg. Wish I could smoke a bone. haha.
A huge T-storm roared through here about an hour ago and really cooled things off. Nice.
ok, will check in later and I hope everyone is doing as well as they can with what they have to deal with. Crew Call!
My Travel Plans for 2013-2014 I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often .I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
Hi ALL, I will try to keep this short but can't guarantee it because once I start, everything just pours out like a cloud burst, Lol!! You might want to make some popcorn!!
Sis and I met at the community today to sign a new lease agreement due to the move to memory care, then we met with "E" the head nurse in memory care. He told us mom was doing well, eating, participating and she is pleasant 80% of the time, the rest of the time, in late afternoons she becomes despondent, doesn't want to be around others or talk. He said this is normal due to moving her and that it will take a month to a month and a half for her to adjust. He suggested we have them set up a phone in her room where we can call her but she can't call out. We told him mom like to organize and reorganize files, etc. so he is going to set up some files with non personal paperwork so she can organize it to her hearts content. Isn't that great they will do things like this for a resident!!
After we left there, we spent the day until 8pm tonight going through mom's house. We are pretty much done inside. Now we start the storage room, the rafters (I know Christmas decorations are stored up there through the crawl space in the ceiling), and the tool shed in the backyard. Looks like we are going to have to replace the central heat/air to sell the house now that the info has been disclosed to us but fair is fair when selling a house and the a/c is on it's last legs as it is leaking refrigerant which happens to be $64 a pound to replace!! The unit is over 20 years old. Sis and I will meet up again on Saturday.
I have jury duty this week but so far have not had to go in so.......tomorrow is an adventure day for me and maybe Friday too. Next week is back to work :(( I'm recharging the battery in my camera and I will leave early tomorrow to take pics...who knows, maybe I will go to Yosemite Nat'L Park. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!! Hugs!
Sounds like you guys are getting a lot done there Sharyn...been there, doing that! feels good to know it's out of the way. Any chance your mm is experiencing sundowning?
Jen-glad you are sewing! That has to be a good outlet! When you mentioned “not caring only providing services” I think I have days like that! My mind keeps going to the stages of Caregiving that Bobbie posted one day. I think I go back and forth through several of those stages. Zombie is the one that pops in often! Just wondering how one gets an interview with the AP??? Flex-great to hear you chime in! I too wear the same things day after day… I saw a saying on FB that said-“No one important saw me in that yesterday-I’ll wear it again today” or something like that and it really made me laugh! The story of my life! BJ-I like turkey liver at Thanksgiving & Christmas…but not too often. Funny thing is-I have offered them to my dog and he walks away!!! Scares me when the dog won’t eat them!!! Sharyn-boy you are sure going thru a lot! Hang in there-it sounds like you are on the right track. Hard to not talk to her for a while but it will be best in the end. Tough stuff! Great that the home is so accommodating and helpful. They have been thru it all I am sure! Sounds like you and sis are getting along ok…. Good luck with all the house stuff and glad you are going to get out and take pics etc. Hope jury duty is uneventful…and you will still get credit for doing it even if you don’t get on a jury! Cat-so glad you are going to stick around!!! And great advice-get something done first thing in the morning-shower-and then have a sense of accomplishment right off the bat! I always try to make the bed as I am getting up…that is my sense of accomplishment! Funny-hubby will say, what did you do today? And I will answer-not a thing! And he will laugh at me and say-did you take care of your mom? And of course I did…. Weird how I don’t count that as an accomplishment!! Cuz-hope your bro gets what he needs and heals well! And you be careful with a heat index that high!!! Love your Travel Plans!!!! Definitely sharing that one!!! Meanwhile-how are you doing without the cast? Been back to the DR yet? Bobbie-great post! Names we haven’t heard from in a while! Hope they chime in. Keep cool! I believe in a post you said “arg” and now you are drinking rum! You turning I into a pirate??? Haha Hope you feel better! Hi Juju and Frustrated and Deef and everyone else out there! I am actually doing pretty well. Hubby’s situation at work is not good. But a nice visit to my counselor helped me to see that there is no good in being anxious about something that may or may not happen-AND most importantly-that we will get through whatever does happen. Cause we will. So, I am trying not to dwell on the negative there and just take each day as it comes. Kind of how I have to deal with caregiving. Which is hard for me. I know not all of you believe that there are lessons we have to learn-but I truly believe if there are-that is the one I am being bombarded with so I will learn it!!!! I have always wanted to just roll with the punches…but I am a fighter! I don’t accept things the way they are and am always looking for a better way. And we all know, our loved one is not going to get better…there is no better way to look forward to… So, the fighter in me just wants it to be over. I love my mom. I know I will miss her when she is gone. But this quality of life sucks for her-at least I think it does! And it sucks for me! So, I find myself always thinking of her death, or that I will walk in and find her dead. Or I won’t hear her breathing on the monitor in the morning. I feel terrible how much I think about her dying. So, a week ago or so, I decided to tell myself that she is going to live for 7 more years and that is that. (7 is her favorite #) I am trying to psych myself into just going from day to day-without thinking about her dying. Put it out of my mind. In my right mind, I know she could go any time-but I am playing this game with myself so I won’t think about it daily-or hourly! Call me crazy-but if that is how I get thru this and roll with the punches without wishing her life away then so be it. I was happy that Bobbie shared her dream of being arrested to have a few days off and sleep! We are all in this so deep. I really don’t want mom in a NH. I do want to care for her to the end. I do love her and I want to show her that love and be loving-not resentful and angry that I have no life. AND, I don’t want to feel guilty for these thoughts when she is gone. So, I am trying to live as though it is what it is….cause it really is! If I can change the voices in my head, maybe I will be happier with what I am doing. She is doing ok this week. Her back was better and then we ate out on the deck and I think she sat funny in the chair and her back is out of wack again. So, we are still dealing with back pain but I do think she is mending. Her spirits are good. The weather is beautiful so that helps. No daycare this week. Hopefully back next week. Not going quite as crazy being cooped up cause my boys are here for conversation and entertainment. And the weather is nice so I have been getting out every day while mom sleeps for a walk with the dog. And, I am counting down the days till our vacation in August. Something to look forward to is soooo helpful! Love you all and so happy to have found you all! Mame
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I wrote a long post and then lost it. Bottom line is I have decided I will not leave here until Fart Pants takes the final dirt bath/oven bake. I do not want to miss that long awaited moment.
Jen, in the meantime, please take a shower and wash you hair. I have no way to truly experience what you feel, but it doesn't really matter. You need to do something everyday that you can feel good about. Take a shower first thing in the morning. Take all of your clothes; wash and iron them. If you are up to it, do that for your mom. Just do something that is positive. It's not about someone telling you that you did good, it's about you knowing you made something cleaner than it was before. Maybe you can write about what it feels like to iron a shirt or take a shower after not bathing for so long. Keep it close to the chest. Keep it where you are and know that we are with you in spirit.
I think I read somewhere that we try to make ourselves unattractive when we know someone that makes us sick is creeping on us.
FP has been creeping on you since you were a little girl and I hope you take back your power and don't let him win. Don't let your mom win either. We know you love her but she is sick with the FP crazy and not thinking right.
That's a HUGE problem with caregiving the crazy. It makes US not think right!
Demented = Crazy. Never forget that.
Love you Jen.
Sharynmarie, glad you are being proactive. I know that sometimes a facility won't let family visit for a few weeks while a patient becomes acclimated. It's brutally hard but what do you do when there is no reason? There's no North Star to steer by.
Cat: Now you're talking. You hang out with us and let's get our girl Jen through this.
lovbob
I always wondered if there was a big adjustment to them taking veins out of someone's legs for bypass. I can't imagine the pain he must be in.
Juju! Mame! Flex! wassup.
Frustrated! Welcome to the Home of Vent and Live!
ok, not supposed to rain today so I am off to work on the outside for a few hours. The heat index will hit 105 degrees so we have to be really careful.
love you guys,
lovbob
Thank you cat for hanging in here. What if it is more YEARS?, what if he sees 95 or 96...God I really can't take that. I really can't and I don't think my mom can either...
Thank you bobbie for you original post that I KNOW has saved lives and sanity and given so many people hope and allowed them to let off steam while others condemn them for feeling they are entitled to it!
Thank you deef for always being there, and rip and mame and sharyn and Cuz with laughter for solace, and Diane who i think shares a lot of my pains minus that she really loved her mom and has that extra pain to deal with.
Jen: Good for you. I have a lot of fabric too. All kinds of different stuff that you would be welcome too. I'm not very good with a sewing machine so I would rather have the space than the fabric. I can send it to Diane to send on to you.
FP is not going to make it to 95 so don't even think of it. Seriously, don't think of it; there's no point. Just do something positive for this day.
When I could get into the shower before my day started with my dad, I felt better, like I had already accomplished something for myself. I had already moved out of the holding pattern by taking that step.
Hugs and white light, Cat
Pork livers, I am getting sick just thinking about it....
The swelling is due to all the water trapped in his legs. He changed some of his meds. He also said something about being anemic. He has to go back in 6 weeks for a blood work up to see if the med change is helping. Something about the count should be around 12 but it is only 6. Right now if he walks over 50 feet he has to stop cause his legs hurt so bad. He can't really excercise so his weight shot up since his last visit 3 weeks ago. Its probably just water weight cause he hardly eats anything. I will keep you informed as I find out more from dr. Long distance hugs to you. Love you Cuz
I grabbed 3 tshirts and apair of leggings outta laundry, and guess what...when i finally get a shower and go to put em on...they are moms..hehehe so i gotta go to walmart tomoro and get something to wear. I took the most restful nap today and know i will sleep good tonite...MY intention is to never go back to that pit of a town permanently, anyway i hope. I did not sound good from what i heard today but they have not got our history yet. So they had admitted her Monday and tomoro i will get together with the team there. I brought my lappy but no time yet...i will enjoy catching up with you all soon PRAY FOR US!!
LOVE YOU ALL!!!
That will be my last resort! i have the names of 4 here tho..i have no home health or hospital at home to use so it may have to be while I sort this out!
Hope you all are hangin in there!!!
Thanks for letting me vent again...I have a plan today at least!
Onward n upward!
Cuz! How is Mike feeling today? I hope that he gets some relief. I can't imagine.
Juju! Glad you have a plan. That can make the problem seem smaller. I was always a big List person. Gotta make a list.
You're doing a lot better Juju! Keep venting and writing it out. It works as you can see!
Shirley! way to go with the translation on cuzMike's situation. Thanks for that. I have no medical knowledge.
Jen! So happy to see you check back in and we are all ready for a Jen post anytime you feel like lobbing one over here.
Cat is right, it's not going to last forever it just seems that way and the 'seems' is what's a bummer.
I know when I was in the thick of it I thought about going out and getting arrested so at least I would get a place to lay down and someone else doing the cooking. I figured if I did something stupid on a Friday night I wouldn't be out until Monday afternoon.
Of course I didn't do that because I wouldn't leave my mom but I had a good time threatening myself with it.
lildeb!! how are you feeling and how are all those tests going? I keep meaning to ask and get in the middle of a post and then space it. Not-so-early-onset....
I hope you're doing ok but maybe you'll let us know?
Mame! are you circling the black hole or have you beat it back and are getting some fun in somewhere. Let us know.
Lindaheart! What are you up to? Let us know! We miss you!
Christina! I have been feeling better in that I can chime in here and there and always enjoy seeing your posts.
msdaizy! how is it going? Hey Book!
DEEF!!!
BJ I am still laughing about the pork. omg. Ages ago I used to do a bit about 'Babe', the movie with the pig. Bottom line is at the end of the joke I would say:
Sure could go for a BLT right about now....
The audience was usually horrified. I loved it.
Frustrated! keep checking in, it makes a difference.
Sharynmarie, how's the no phone thang going... Hope you are doing some things that you have been putting off... like going to a movie or just not jumping up and down to someone else's rhythm. let us know.
Kuli, Rip, Miz, Cricket! Kelleybean, Pam, all crew past and present, I hope you guys are doing ok.
I have been feeling punk for the last few days and it just boils down to being heatsick and the fact that I can't drink. I didn't think we could move anywhere hotter but we did and the heat index has been around 105 for the last week. I step outside the boat and lose my mind. The boat angel has no problem with it and works outside while I hide inside. I know I will do better in the next few days.
There was a boater get-together a few days ago and I had some rum. I am such a pussy because it took 2 days for me to get my act together again. Arg.
Wish I could smoke a bone. haha.
A huge T-storm roared through here about an hour ago and really cooled things off. Nice.
ok, will check in later and I hope everyone is doing as well as they can with what they have to deal with.
Crew Call!
lovbob
and ol FP just keeps on keepin on.
*sigh*
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often
.I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
I will try to keep this short but can't guarantee it because once I start, everything just pours out like a cloud burst, Lol!! You might want to make some popcorn!!
Sis and I met at the community today to sign a new lease agreement due to the move to memory care, then we met with "E" the head nurse in memory care. He told us mom was doing well, eating, participating and she is pleasant 80% of the time, the rest of the time, in late afternoons she becomes despondent, doesn't want to be around others or talk. He said this is normal due to moving her and that it will take a month to a month and a half for her to adjust. He suggested we have them set up a phone in her room where we can call her but she can't call out. We told him mom like to organize and reorganize files, etc. so he is going to set up some files with non personal paperwork so she can organize it to her hearts content. Isn't that great they will do things like this for a resident!!
After we left there, we spent the day until 8pm tonight going through mom's house. We are pretty much done inside. Now we start the storage room, the rafters (I know Christmas decorations are stored up there through the crawl space in the ceiling), and the tool shed in the backyard. Looks like we are going to have to replace the central heat/air to sell the house now that the info has been disclosed to us but fair is fair when selling a house and the a/c is on it's last legs as it is leaking refrigerant which happens to be $64 a pound to replace!! The unit is over 20 years old. Sis and I will meet up again on Saturday.
I have jury duty this week but so far have not had to go in so.......tomorrow is an adventure day for me and maybe Friday too. Next week is back to work :(( I'm recharging the battery in my camera and I will leave early tomorrow to take pics...who knows, maybe I will go to Yosemite Nat'L Park. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!! Hugs!
Flex-great to hear you chime in! I too wear the same things day after day… I saw a saying on FB that said-“No one important saw me in that yesterday-I’ll wear it again today” or something like that and it really made me laugh! The story of my life!
BJ-I like turkey liver at Thanksgiving & Christmas…but not too often. Funny thing is-I have offered them to my dog and he walks away!!! Scares me when the dog won’t eat them!!!
Sharyn-boy you are sure going thru a lot! Hang in there-it sounds like you are on the right track. Hard to not talk to her for a while but it will be best in the end. Tough stuff! Great that the home is so accommodating and helpful. They have been thru it all I am sure! Sounds like you and sis are getting along ok…. Good luck with all the house stuff and glad you are going to get out and take pics etc. Hope jury duty is uneventful…and you will still get credit for doing it even if you don’t get on a jury!
Cat-so glad you are going to stick around!!! And great advice-get something done first thing in the morning-shower-and then have a sense of accomplishment right off the bat! I always try to make the bed as I am getting up…that is my sense of accomplishment! Funny-hubby will say, what did you do today? And I will answer-not a thing! And he will laugh at me and say-did you take care of your mom? And of course I did…. Weird how I don’t count that as an accomplishment!!
Cuz-hope your bro gets what he needs and heals well! And you be careful with a heat index that high!!! Love your Travel Plans!!!! Definitely sharing that one!!!
Meanwhile-how are you doing without the cast? Been back to the DR yet?
Bobbie-great post! Names we haven’t heard from in a while! Hope they chime in. Keep cool! I believe in a post you said “arg” and now you are drinking rum! You turning I into a pirate??? Haha Hope you feel better!
Hi Juju and Frustrated and Deef and everyone else out there!
I am actually doing pretty well. Hubby’s situation at work is not good. But a nice visit to my counselor helped me to see that there is no good in being anxious about something that may or may not happen-AND most importantly-that we will get through whatever does happen. Cause we will. So, I am trying not to dwell on the negative there and just take each day as it comes. Kind of how I have to deal with caregiving. Which is hard for me. I know not all of you believe that there are lessons we have to learn-but I truly believe if there are-that is the one I am being bombarded with so I will learn it!!!! I have always wanted to just roll with the punches…but I am a fighter! I don’t accept things the way they are and am always looking for a better way. And we all know, our loved one is not going to get better…there is no better way to look forward to… So, the fighter in me just wants it to be over. I love my mom. I know I will miss her when she is gone. But this quality of life sucks for her-at least I think it does! And it sucks for me! So, I find myself always thinking of her death, or that I will walk in and find her dead. Or I won’t hear her breathing on the monitor in the morning. I feel terrible how much I think about her dying. So, a week ago or so, I decided to tell myself that she is going to live for 7 more years and that is that. (7 is her favorite #) I am trying to psych myself into just going from day to day-without thinking about her dying. Put it out of my mind. In my right mind, I know she could go any time-but I am playing this game with myself so I won’t think about it daily-or hourly! Call me crazy-but if that is how I get thru this and roll with the punches without wishing her life away then so be it. I was happy that Bobbie shared her dream of being arrested to have a few days off and sleep! We are all in this so deep. I really don’t want mom in a NH. I do want to care for her to the end. I do love her and I want to show her that love and be loving-not resentful and angry that I have no life. AND, I don’t want to feel guilty for these thoughts when she is gone. So, I am trying to live as though it is what it is….cause it really is! If I can change the voices in my head, maybe I will be happier with what I am doing.
She is doing ok this week. Her back was better and then we ate out on the deck and I think she sat funny in the chair and her back is out of wack again. So, we are still dealing with back pain but I do think she is mending. Her spirits are good. The weather is beautiful so that helps. No daycare this week. Hopefully back next week. Not going quite as crazy being cooped up cause my boys are here for conversation and entertainment. And the weather is nice so I have been getting out every day while mom sleeps for a walk with the dog. And, I am counting down the days till our vacation in August. Something to look forward to is soooo helpful! Love you all and so happy to have found you all! Mame