Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Here ya go gals. It took me a while to find it. I hope you enjoy. Thanks to headbanger for taking the time to post this back in 2011. luvCuz
Pooh-Pooh-doo-doo Chronicles; The chronicles were born from trying to lighten the mood on the boards after a seriously crappy week for all caregivers on our forum.
The Pooh-doo chronicles:
1) The shy pooh-pooh: It lingers in the rectum because it has no self esteem. This pooh must be coaxed into appearing anywhere. This pooh frequently will poke out to survey the situation and get scared and return into the rectum. AKA Turtlehead poker.
2) The burglar pooh: Which is like pooh stuck in the chimney when it tried to rob your house. This pooh must be greased up and pulled out. Although you may think you need law enforcement, this pooh is usually too tired to fight once it is removed.
3) The wall-flower pooh-pooh: It enters the room and immediately finds a wall to smear on. No...you can't dance with this pooh.
4) The shelf sitting pooh: You walk by any table and see a new sculpture... and no...this isn't art therapy. This pooh is also known as mountain range pooh...the natural formation is almost breathtaking.
5) The finger paint pooh: Murals of abstract brown art. If you stare at it long enough you can see flowers, trees, and faces of dead celebrities.
6) The hide and seek pooh: Ali-Ali-UM-COMFREE! I give up. I can smell you but can't find you pooh. This can be distressing pooh, especially if your social worker is coming right over.
7) The trace pooh: It lingers under fingernails and defies you to remove it because you just can't hold the elderly hand long enough to get your nail file there. I hate this pooh, I hear it laughing at me. I also fear this pooh because it can turn into....Finger up the nose pooh.
8) The bad-ass pooh: The pooh that stands up to your disenfectant, sponge, and scrub brush, and sends it packing. It is WWF kick-ass wrestle you to the ground pooh. It is the pooh you have to scrub for hours. This pooh must be a gang-member because it has tatoo'd my bathroom and made me it's b*tch. I call this pooh BUBBA and never turn my back on it.
9) Track and Field pooh: This is pooh that runs faster and longer than any other pooh. Usually you see this pooh after your ward has eaten a pound of chocolate, Triscuits, and Pea soup. Although it is a gold medal winning pooh, it is to be avoided at all costs.
10) The pebble pooh: This pooh is an escape artist, it falls out of your ward's depends and conceals itself on the carpet. Not to be confused with hide and seek pooh, this pooh prefers open spaces and looks like raisen-ettes or chocolate malt balls. This pooh is often referred to as "Houdini pooh" because it escapes from any depends and lives to be seen on stage.
11) The Sitcom pooh: This dramatic pooh loves to entertain. This is the pooh that cannot wait to take a bow before a live audience, and is always taken in front of other people.
12) The space-shuttle pooh: This pooh cannot be confused with any other pooh. This pooh is HEAVY and seems to have it's own gravitational pull. Keep your balance when dealing with this pooh. This pooh is like a black-hole and science does not know what happens to objects that this pooh consumes. AKA: Event Horizon Pooh
13) The zip-code pooh: This pooh is so large it needs it's own post-office. This pooh should receive fan-mail and usually blocks up the toilet. (AKA: Plumber pooh)
14) The Titanic Pooh: Unfortunate pooh. Left unattended and with too many flushes behind it...zip code pooh turns into Titanic pooh. This pooh has gone over the top of the porcelain barrier, ripped a gaping hole in it's side, and is sinking on the bathroom floor. This is a slip and fall risk pooh. You may need a raft or at the very least a swamp airboat to navigate the clean up.
15) The disguised little SH*T: Sly and covert this pooh is a master of deceit. This pooh can cleverly mimic pooh from ANY other species or human. Once this pooh escapes the rectum it morph's into any of the following: A) The caregiver's pooh: OMFG how could YOU have left that pooh there? You are disgusting. B) Your dogs pooh: I swear to god we have to get rid of your dog. It has a problem! C) Food: You gonna eat that? D) Art Supplies: refer to Fig: 4 and Fig 5
16) Celebrity pooh: A larger than life pooh that is impressive in most ways and is always trailed by smaller pooh-parazzi.
17) Reality TV or Heiress pooh: Pooh that has outlived it's 5 minutes in the spotlight but floats at the top of the bowl. Very resistant to flushing.
18) Symphony Pooh: Pooh that is always accompanied by the sounds of a mardi-gras parade. This pooh never slips quietly into the bowl. The orchestra can perform alone without the pooh...this is called slip farts and could be the subject of another post.
19) Insomnia pooh: This is pooh every caregiver hates. This pooh's arrival is always in the middle of the night. It takes so long to get done that it takes most of the night and you are usually too wired to get back to sleep.
20) Political pooh: This pooh market's itself as something it is not. Once you vote for this pooh, it never delivers. Do not let this pooh kiss your baby. When this pooh finally gets elected....it stinks.
21) Dog Whisperer pooh: This is the pooh that looks like a small naughty dog on the carpet. No touch, no talk, no eye contact is best if you want to get close to this pooh with a paper towel. As tired as you may be...please do not keep this pooh as a pet, it cannot be housebroken. *snaps fingers* "ssssstttt"
22) Charmed pooh: This is the pooh that needs three teenage witches to banish it back to where it came from. AKA Exorcist pooh
23) Redneck pooh: This pooh doesn't care what anyone thinks. Is that a mullet? This pooh is fat and bossy. You can picture this pooh draped in a pink prom dress with it's banana boyfriend and 3 hanger on friends...the butterknife boys. This pooh doesn't take sh*t from anyone. It does what it wants.
24) The gymnastic pooh: Still an olympian...a gold medal pooh will somehow be higher on the wall than any other pooh you've seen before. This pooh seems to defy gravity.
25) The couch potato pooh: This pooh loves to sit on the sofa. This pooh can arrange itself in amazing ways. It can resemble a pot smoking teen, a football fanatic, or a napping baby. Always look where you sit. This pooh will let you sit on it's lap and you don't want that.
26) Smooth sailing pooh: This is poop that cuts through the water like a schooner riding a good blow. This poop is full speed ahead and usually creates a splash or "wake". The smooth sailing pooh is almost like spotting the "Flying Dutchman" it is a fantasy, mythical or fabled poop because I sure haven't seen one yet.
27) Manipulative pooh: A naughty, impacted little pooh. This pooh taunts, and teases the caregiver by playing peek-a-boo-doo-doo. Often confused with prairie-doggin-poo which is also a head-poking species of doo, manipulative pooh will pout and grief you until coaxed from the rectum...usually by manual means. Manipulative doo will try and make you feel bad about yourself so wear gloves when tickling this pooh from from it's hiding place.
28) The snowball poop: This is the fecal flyer of the poop world. This poop is not a joyful winter distraction lofted through the air by playful, laughing children. This arial menace is a biological WAR WEAPON that is wielded with unnatural precision by its maker when faced with unpleasant hygiene tasks such as hair washing and showering. This crap can be tossed to distract the unsuspecting caregiver, or fired with deadly accuracy to knock the caregiver out of commission. The target of such an attack can expect a painful strike or a sticky, smelly, smear all resulting in delay of shower or bathing activity for the maker of the pooh-doo. Caregivers who receive advanced training in snowball evasion techniques are best equipped to deal with this air combat projectile. Also known as Monkey Flung-Doo or Sling-shot-Sh*t."
29) Franken-Pooh....That pooh hides under your bed and in your closet causing all kinds of problems. This pooh scares small children at night and makes knocking noises while moving small objects. Disembodied voices can be heard in homes where a Franken-Pooh-Doo has taken up residence. Your house would then need to be investigated for pooha-normal activity. Call in the Pooh-dooh-Hunters.
Bobbie...hunker down and stay safe...nothing like some rocking and rolling on the boat.
Cuz...funny stuff, thank headbanger for me, Lol!!
Lildeb...you have been MIA for awhile, glad to see you posting again.
Jen...certainly done with a fork stuck...oh who knows where!!
Pruned all of mom's roses today...not a good Idea. I had to use my left hand cuz right hand has no strength to press down hard enough on the clippers, but it is done. I tucked my gloves in my front pant pocket and then noticed they were gone...one was on the patio, the other one was missing. Looked all over the back yard when I thought...Midget!!! Yes she took it in the house, LOL!! The little thief!!
Found out the community did not return mom's phone to her room....so how is she able to call us??? She is sneaking into other residents rooms and using their phones,LOL!!! My mom always was a sneaky lady!!
Hey, all. Please pray for, think of, wish peace for a friend of mine going through some very bad times. Her FIL passed away 2 weeks ago, mom passed away Sunday, MIL has open heart surgery on Wednesday and she has hit rock bottom. We all know too well how hard it is to get out of the black hole and I truly hope she finds the strength to climb out. Hugs to all ~ Kuli
Wow: That is quite a volume on poo!!! I must say there were several on the list I recognized.
Well, here's an update on my situation: As of today I do not have the rest of my biopsy report. Guess the 4th of July holiday has really slowed things down. I was supposed to be in Seattle today for a breast MRI and then meet with the surgeon tomorrow am. At the last minute, we were told that the insurance company has not yet approved the MRI, which is required, so I can't get it done today. As a result, I'm not going to Seattle today. I can't see going there, staying the night, boarding the dogs for two days in order to talk to a surgeon who can't speak specifics about my situation. So we've rescheduled for next. Good grief.
Lildeb, sounds like you are having some terrible weather. Mame, I hope things have improved at your house and your son is better. Bobbie, stay dry. Jen, Sharyn, Juju, Cuz, sending hugs. Kuli, sending some white light to your friend. Meanwhile, hope your foot is better.
Kuli-prayers going our for your friend! Wow-what a lot to deal with at once! Sharyn-omg that is soooo funny that mom is sneaking to use other peoples phones!!!! Made me lol!!! Amazing what they are capable of! Bobbie-will be thinking of you and wish you safety through the storm! Cuz-that really was awesome that you could find the old post and share it! Sooo funny! How is your bro doin? Lildeb-good to see you back! Hope you get the respite you need-even if only for a short while! Jen-glad the poop machine has been off line for a while. Cat-big days ahead for you-hope you can keep us posted as we all care for you and what you are going through! Prayers and white light and positive thoughts going up for you woman! Meanwhile-glad your sis's horse is making new friends and would have loved to watch him put the youngins in their place! Juju-Don't worry about being self absorbed...it is you and your mom-like most of us...what else have we got? I read what you say and shake my head in agreement constantly-been there done that or yup, going thru that feeling at this moment... it is what it is. Keep on keepin on! Welcome Nicenurse! Flex-how you holdin up? Hope you are doing ok going through all your mom's stuff. Tough job but can be wonderful at the same time. Mom is better from the UTI. However, she has been bed bound and is now very weak. I am just not sure she is going to bounce back this time. Just a feeling and as many of you have heard before-she is a cat with way more than nine lives and she loves to say "fooled ya!" So, we shall see. PT from visiting nurses is coming this week. Mom is not eating much, she is drinking. She says she is feeling better but is just tired, and she is sleeping a ton. Maybe I should try to get another urine sample to make sure the UTI is gone? She is soooo much better than she was that I think it must be gone. If I have to take her to the Dr it will have to be to the ER and by ambulance which she told me yesterday she does not want to go there. I am a bit afraid maybe she is shutting down...but she isn't doing much so why would she eat much right? She is pooping a little and peeing. I find myself holding my breath in the morning when I get up and go in to see if she is still breathing. The siblings who care to talk about it have all said, whatever happens, happens. She has made it clear she is feeling better and doesn't want to go to the hosp. Ugh. I just want to do the right thing.
My son seems to be a bit better from the throat pain, headache and vomiting. He was living on advil and Tylenol. Now he has diarrhea. Poor kid. He has been pitiful. I am cleaning door handles and water faucets and the TV remote with Clorox cleanup all the time! I hope no one else gets this! I feel like I have just been going back and forth between him and mom constantly! And my hands are raw from washing so much! But, I do think things are looking up. The visiting nurses finally called and will be coming out and as I mentioned-promised PT this week for mom. Their assessment will make me feel so less anxious! Doing ok on 1/2 my anxiety meds even through all this. I have been on it (full dose) long enough that now on half dose, when I start to feel the anxiety brewing, I can talk myself down-and to breathe normally. It takes a minute but it works. I know how I should handle the anxiety and I can feel it getting ramped up, so I do think I can wean from the meds completely. The weird dizzy feelings I first got when I dropped to half have gone completely. I look forward to my next 1/2 drop in a week or so! Hot and humid again here. Hopefully a reprieve from the humidity this weekend. Fingers crossed! Hope everyone has a decent day! Mame
Cat-was writing when you posted and missed it! Sooooo sorry you have to postpone! Can't imagine how that feels. {{{{{Hugs!!!!}}}}} Hang in there! Love you sista!
Mame: Just want to say that I think you are doing everything right with your mom. You are very responsible in the way you care for her and you are also honoring her wishes. Whatever her in and out mental status, I think your mom definitely has the comfort of knowing and feeling your love.
Diane: I hope you are doing ok. Love your new fur kids.
Yup that is some poop stories!! Only a few personally identify with now but ya never know what the future will hold for us. Ironically I was up all night with ma, she did not feel well. She started out vomiting so she sat up in recliner, me next to her on couch, side by side, nodding off here n there for a few minutes...woke up at four am to a foul stench...omg, it was everywhere out the top of diaper, down her legs etc....by the grace of god It did not escape the pad and chair survived unscathed. Got her cleaned up and in bed sitting up. I layed down for a bit and woke to a repeat poopformance. Usually doesn't bother me but It was just everywhere again, all the bedding n her nightgown etc.....she was visibly not well last nite but seems to be fine this morning, maybe her dinner didn't agree with her, leftovers, mite have went south on us, ??idk??, hoping that n not a bug. She is alert and happy this morning, no tummy ache and boy last nite I could just hear her belly grumbling something awful. So believe the worst is over. Getting some fluids in her and see how it goes.
Well I got an updated list of caregivers finally from my SR case mgr (I mean how hard is it to print a list for us, been asking since Feb, oh she has been moved to new position, so I have new worker now too, will talk with her today!) called them all yesterday and shockingly 5 have responded Interviewed 1 yesterday and 3 today! ((2.5 yr old list.12 names 1 responded to say she was booked n 5 of were bad numbers)) And the Sr companion group believes they will be able to replace Wanda for me. I was kinda unsure bout that as when she had surgery n was out for a while they had no one! So helpfront is looking up and the new HHA have been wonderful! Got ahold of the home insurance company to come look at our issues, water heater leak, roof leak/ceiling hole, few other stuff..see if we can get somekind of help with the costs. worth a try! oh I should ask them bout the sink hole maybe they can help there too...need an engineer excavator to properly fill and stabilize the empty structure, apperantly the just covered top with wood and couple feet of dirt and it went that scary day!!!
Cat that is so frustrating... I hope you can get in as soon as possible, the uncertainty or the unknown is brutal. Lots of love n light to you also!
Mame I do forget my doc gave me some Xanax last visit...but I haven't been that stressed lately. I don't feel the need YET to take them, lol!!! Since the last hospital stay anyway...did need a couple, I break them in half, specially when they sed ma had 1-6mo's!
Meanwhile love the horse stories
Cuz you sure are great at coming up with the research and the funnies, on top of it!!! Bobbie stay safe n dry, we need our cap'n!!!
Flex furry friends are nice!! Enjoy!! Cat and Kuli's friend are in my prayer group. and Jen's li'l Monty too! all of us! Everyone else, whoever I missed, hang in there, and thanks for the support and hope you all are doing well with your challenges. Busy day again Luv Juju
Sharyn, that midget glove story is so cute frustrating but cute and the phone....they are so resourceful for their desires aren't they..makes me wonder sometimes...
just cleaned up round 3 and we are running out of blanket/bedding now so I must start hosing down the mess out on the laundry line...bbbaarrrfffff n get this stuff washed up urgently! thank goodness this is the grossed thread, lol, sincerely lol..or I would not be able to take it...gotta find the humor in it! Dooty calls! Luv juju
Juju~Midget is a cutie and she knows how to work it,LOL!! When I went in my mom's house looking for her, I called out to her and she peaked around a corner into the kitchen...and you can just tell by the look in her eyes that she has something SHE knows she shouldn't have. I walked around the corner and she grabbed up the glove giving me a dirty look and growling at me, LOL!!! When she does that even with socks, I just walk away and the game is over!! Last week my hubby got mad because I left the door open to our bedroom so Midget could familiarize herself to it (Hubby wants it off limits), I had some folded clothes in a laundry basket on the bed...it had some socks of hubby's in it and Midget stole the socks. When hubby got home from work, he told me, "From now on I don't want this door open unless I am here to supervise." I started laughing at him and said, "You take yourself too seriously, it is just a sock...it's not personal, the more you make things off limits for her, she will react just like a child and explore it taking your belongings, LOL!!! He has lightened up since then.
Dr. said I probably have a pinched nerve in my neck. He was going to order an x-ray which I was fine with but I told him I was told by 2 different Chiropractors that I have osteoarthritis and bone spurs on my neck. He prescribed a muscle relaxer and said if this doesn't work then we will get an x-ray. I am only going to take 1/2 a tablet a night since the pharmacist said it will knock me out with 4 times a day.
Cuz, all I can say is, OMG! I could not stop laughing for this is way too funny n not so funny too. Finger Paint, hide/seek poo paper, trace poo n the awful smooth sailing pooh. Thanks for sharing. Bobbie, u must have a big boat or just double up on the jackets. Be careful on the water with the weather. I would be defiantly sea-sick if the boat goes back/forth rocking. All the power to you n be safe. Kuli, You n your family r in my prayers n sorry for your loss. Please keep us posted on how the surgery goes n how u r holding up too. Just remember that, we r all here for you n your family. Cat, you didn;t won't to go just yet for all that mess anyway. Insurance can be a pain n the ass royally! At least u got a call to let u know before you got all the way up their. Weather was actually nice today for a change. Florida folks were getting it pretty bad too. mame, you r already doing the right thing n that is what your mom wants. It does sound like she is tired of the hospitals n could be ready to go to a better place. I think it more harder on us care-giver than anyone else to '"let-go." Not giving-up but letting-go. You r already doing everything that can be done. You have a big warm n loving heart. hang in their n keep us posted on your mom. Hi to Jen, Book, Juju, sharyn, n anyone I forgot but not on purpose. I hope everyone is able to get some rest n a pooh break.
My friend was admitted to an inpatient psych unit last night. I'm so glad she's somewhere she can get help. Her mom's funeral is tomorrow morning and I hope she won't feel bad for missing it. Her mom's had Alzheimer's for 18 years and hasn't known who her daughters are for years but it's all just such a terrible situation. Keep sending prayers. Cat - so sorry for your delay. It's so hard to wait, not knowing what to think. I know, I've been there. Hugs and wishes for peace to all ~ Kuli
A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a Redneck on a flight to Kentucky . After the plane took off, the Redneck asked for a whiskey and ice, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips.
"The Redneck then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
mame Brother isn't doing good. His legs are getting worse and because he can't excersise and with his meds, he is blowing up like a balloon. They have him on like a water pill but its not working to good. I'll keep in touch and let ya know more as I find out. luvCuz
Mame-i did not read all your post thru I missed some parts..my bad eyes I have trouble but I agree with Cat. you are doing a great job and honoring her wishes. I think she will improve strength wise once she gets up n going with VN and some PT etc...of course the bedbound will weaken her but they are amaziningly resilient I have found. Mom is weak too now and barely standing from our back incident but we are working on strengthening her up here and I hope the same for your mom. Gosh that bug/flu/whatever was quick n brutal....she is better just getting some more fluids and nutrition today! didn't want to overdo-it yesterday case she started back up with the vomiting! RN also will come today instead of tomoro to make sure she ok!
I absolutely loved 2 of the four interviewee's so I may hire them both to have options. They both were just wonderful and glowed with mom. immediately drawn to her and touched n held her hand. You don't see that with all. and although they are not allowed to recommend the OT was here today (along with speech/eating) and knows the one gal and had wonderful things to say bout the family n ethics etc....within her limits, which I could just tell already but that was a comfort. Although the last one who flaked out was great with ma, knowing what to do etc...I did get this shady feeling, but had no other option at that time. I am going to go with my gut from now on!
Contractor showed up in the middle of all the appt's n ma drama...was a crazy day but productive
Should be slow her today, we need it!
Sharyn, Cuz, Kuli....prayers for your family n friends struggling! I wish the best! Everyone have a decent day! Bob hope the boat is not rockin too much!! Luv Juju
Kuli! what a lot of sadness all at once for your friend. Glad she is where she can get help. Maybe just knowing that she can put the burden down and have others care for her will be helpful.
Cuz! Wow about Mike! What can they do for him so he doesn't suffer so? I can't imagine the pain that he's in. Awful.
Cat! postponing appointments is tedious. They'll get their ducks in a row before you know it and at least the questions will be answered and you will know exactly how to move forward. You gonna be ok gurl.
lildeb! I guess it is a big boat but considering what it looks like next to a cargo ship it's pretty small haha. All about the point of view. When I have to wash it it's big. when it's raining and I am stuck on it for awhile it's small.
The storm will be a soaker and here this weekend. Right now we have good weather and we are working on the outside. It's starting to look nice!
lildeb you are right about the 'letting go' part. Our parents try to stay alive to please us I think and then when we are ready they are ready. Not everyone to be sure but I think the caregiver being ready to let go is a huge step in the end stage process. It's sad, sad, sad.
Flex! Didn't you have a birthday recently? Hope you had a good time. How are you doing?
DEEF!!
Sharyn! I read about your neck and I bet I have some of the same issues. I have the tingling and soreness and I am afraid to look at an xray of my neck. Ow Ow so I can appreciated the pain that you are in and I hope the meds help. sorry about the loss of your brother's mil. So many losses....
Juju! Yup, this is the Grossed thread and man oh man some of the caregiving things are gross. No 2 ways about it.
Mame! Hope you are doing ok!
OK, shout outs to everyone and back to the boat for me.
Bobbie~The dr. told me to use heat on it too just as I think meanwhile or mame told me that...I am sorry ladies, I don't remember which one of you told me. I am more concerned about the loss of strength in my arm because I am not what you would call a girly girl, I am much more at home pulling weeds, pruning roses and hiking thru the wilderness than getting mani/pedi's, LOL!!
Today is a better day, I visited with mom (Midget came too), she was so happy to see midget!! Mom was really good today, we took a little walk, she said two of her former co-workers had been in to see her right before I got there. Midget makes her rounds to all the residents who want to see her. We even stopped on the assisted living side so midget could greet some of the people who remember her living there. After leaving there, we went to petsmart and bought a cat tree for poor tiger. I put him on the top perch, he seemed to like it...hopefully he will accept it as a place to come in the house and get away from the dog. I think I am going to save up some money and have midget trained to stop her barking (she was very restless last night, barking at every noise she heard), and to teach her to ignore the cat.
Thinking about all of you...cat, cuz, kuli...sending out prayers. Mame hope your mom is getting stronger everyday, meanwhile hope your foot is healing, deef...how are you? Flex...how is work going, are you adjusting to this new journey? Lildeb, I hope you are able to get the creatine levels down, take care of you!! Juju...happy to like the interviewees and hope they work out. Can you get a pair of glasses from a pharmacy if you only need them for reading...much cheaper.
Hello All! I have just spent the last 6 hours reading through all these posts, and I just have to say... Thank You. Each and every one of you. I can't remember how I found this spot, but somebody was looking out for me. I have been depressed and at my wits end for a few months now and thought I was alone with all these feelings. thank you for letting me know I am not alone, and more importantly, for making me laugh more than I have in too long.
I am the only caretaker for my mom, stepdad, wonderful but broken hubby and on occasion, my mentally disabled little sister. I have been doing this full time for just shy of 3 years now. It all started after my eldest sister passed away and I came home to spend a couple of weeks with my parents cause I didn't like how my mom sounded on the phone. Within days of my arrival, I knew I was moving back to California (from Washington state) and taking care of them. . My parents were both severely malnourished and both had pneumonia when I first came home. They are both diabetic and had been too ill too care for themselves for 3 weeks and no one knew. I have siblings who swear they were taking care of them "when they had time", which I found out meant they stopped by once a month or so. The whole thing scared me so badly, I swore I would take care of my parents for however long I had left with them. It took 2 months to get them stabilized and well enough that I could go get hubby, put our house up for sale and everything we owned into storage. But by the time I got back to Washington, hubby was in serious condition and it took a month before he was strong enough to travel. So much for those who swore to take care of him so I could take care of my parents.
Within 2 months of our moving in with my parents so that I could care for them all, my husband was losing too much ground from the stress of living there, so I began to look for a rental for us. The day we were to sign the lease, dad had a bad stroke, but I got him to the hospital within 20 minutes and saved his life. I used to be kind of proud of that. Hubby and I stayed for another 4 months before I found a rental 2 blocks away. I moved my disabled sister from an hour away to within a block of my parents to centralize all I was caring for. I had no idea what I had set myself up for.
2 straight years of care taking 4 people wore me out. They were all doing great, but I had 2 heart attacks in 2 days in February 2011. I immediately sought out help with my parents and sister, but it took a year before nurses were obtained once per week for each of them. In that time, my heart has weakened further and now my dr suspects either Lupus or MS. I think I am just worn out. I read in early posts where Bobbi had said she added 5 years to her moms life, but it cost her that much off of her own. Seems about right.
Ok. That's my story. Now I can post without having to do that again. Thanks again for all your humor, wisdom and grace while I learn to be better at this.
Welcome Pam. You have made it through so much and now that you know that you are not alone you will make it the rest of the way. Knowing I wasn't alone made all the difference to me and helped me survive this most difficult period in my life...and I didn't have anywhere near the responsibilities that you have! omg on the 2 heart attacks! The worn out that you are feeling is the universal reaction to the pressure cooker of stress that caring for the elderly and sick places us in. If you can place your parents and get more help with your husband you will heal. It sounds harsh when we come to grips that it comes down to them or us. But it just is. If you read all the posts you know the struggle I faced and many others on this thread faced. You already know that I have stated again and again that if I had it to do all over boy oh boy would I have done it differently.
I hope you keep writing here and updating us on your progress. You only have to post twice to be considered a valued member of this crazy crew and by writing out your story, just like you have, you help others struggling with the same issues. And when it gets so tough and so hard to handle, thinkoftheboat. It's real!
Here's hoping you can now think your way out of the situation you are in so you can face a happier future.
Cuz! How is cuzMike today? Jen!!!
Big rain coming and the boat angel is outside working to get us sealed up and ready. The Storm formerly known as Chantal will be a soaker!
Love you guys and hope everyone has as good a day as possible with what you all are dealing with.
Welcome Pam....yes you are not alone...I joined actively about 2 months ago?? Anyway the support and just the ability to vent has been amazing. Our life has changed so much for the better. Although the patient is not going to get better the worlds of wisdom and love shared here is immeasurable and improves our quality of life both caregiver and caregivee, hehehe. As you said to know we are not alone. We can share and vent with those who truly have been in the trenches!!! I found friends and family who are present to witness the challenges are not willing to understand and support as much as those who actually do it....Keep coming and writing it out, as bob told me, and you will see things get better, maybe slowly but things will get better!
Sharyn, yes I have been using "readers" for years. I find that lately they are also difficult as they only work if I keep my self steady in one position. Moving forward or backward things blur up and I am constantly on n off with em... What I was hoping and I am not sure of is something more all around as it seems to be getting worse. I am not sure real glasses will even do it tho!
Well, well it was a busy day again. Momma is doing good from the flu incident...still need to make sure she is hydrated enuf as she lost so much so quick, but RN gave her a thumbs up and reinforced hydration. Hired one gal yesterday, she will come 3 times next week to "catch up" round here then we will get a regular schedule worked out and I still want to get the other gal in as an alternate...I am not sure how to work this out as I want them each to get enough hours to make it desirable but I cannot become stuck without help when I need it either. or if one does quit suddenly again I have some back up.. will talk to HHA's MSW (social worker) on this see what she suggests and also I have some info I found about writing up "contract" with the expectations and rules.
It did get kinda busy yesterday again so hoping today I can get some more of this admin stuff taken care of...and find a place to put the Costco loot, lol....love the prices but man bulk is bulk...and this house is not going to get any bigger. along with the critter problems I have some totes to put some of it in.
BTW the one critter who was keeping me awake, in the vents, last month seems to be gone, thank goodness! Also need to get my S'mores stuff out and put that to use before it spoils!!! Been on the back burner for a bit!!! As mom's current care is number #1. And I really do want to get started on the ALZ walk promotion, that is important to us. We had to go hundred miles last year and this year they are doing it in our closest city, only 25 miles, hope to get more peeps actively involved, if it is possible, lol!!!! Well me n ma are going no matter who else supports us!
another funny thing. I have not been outwardly stressed for a while but I do have an old issue popping up again. When I was a workaholic back in the Silicon Valley I used to suffer terribly with excema....it disappeared when I left the workforce and has now resurfaced, hands only this time but they itch n hurt at times...I have some cream from days past and seems to be helping and it is more of an annoyance than an issue..but just ironic I put my old skills back to use and this comes back....better than just being burned out but not a coincidence I am sure!!! Jen hope you n monty are ok! Cat...thinking of you as always! Everyone..(I will have to make a darn list of names so not to forget anyone) have a good day with your challenges, Love n support to you all, hang in there! Peace out, Juju
Thanks Bobbi and Juju. The welcome is appreciated. I have been using the "just think of the boat" mantra all morning. Hubby heard me and immediately started asking questions... "What boat? When are you leaving? Do I have to deal with your parents? Are you taking them?" Made me laugh at the panic in his face. I explained the boat and when Dad called demanding I come over immediately, hubby actually said it to me! Hey, it works for both of us now. :)
Hey Pam, Very Funny! you are now officially a crewmember of the Boat! Congratulations and welcome again.
Juju! you are getting your business handled and good for you.
Cat! How goes it? You might like this: We are docked across from a beautiful area that is packed with birds so the birdsong is a welcome change from the countless My Cousin Vinny trains that ran right next to the boatyard we were in and the noise of the TraveLifts and grinders, etc etc. After all it was a working boatyard so I can't cry about it but it just underscores how pleasant this place is in comparison.
Anyhoo, there's one bird that makes a call like the first 5 tones of the National Geographic theme... You know the one. Go ahead and hum it in your head. I'll wait. Yup, that's it.
There's another bird that sounds EXACTLY like one of the Kitty's toys. It's been driving us both goofy. I think that she has her toy out and is dragging it up and down and she thinks I want to play with her and shows up looking for a good time. Ahhh...happy problems and a very cool move forward for yours truly, the Ship's Cat: Clawshank the Decimator (the reason we can't have nice things) and the Boat Angel. We have come a long way and couldn't have done it without you guys and that's a fact.
OK, closing in on boat time... who's going to get it haha.
Pam: when we hit a post that ends in 00 that person gets 'boat time'. 4 caregivers from the Grossed thread have already been to the boat for real and we have plans for more!
Bobbie, I can see both of your points between a cargo n the ocean. I hope the weather will not be so bad n I hope y'all have the boat fixed. Please be careful n u can have all that swaying back n forth. Just thinking about it makes me nausea. u sure u didn't send that blastic non-stopping singing bird toward r way? I luv to watch n hear the birds sang but u r so right about that one! It like, if u haven;t got u a female bird just give it up already. I guess they don't give up either. ; ) Sharyn, I don't think any care-giver can be a girly girl or manly-man for the stuff we do. ; ) I think that is how I hurt my lower back from cutting n pulling tree limbs for someone got to do it. Sorry u still n pain. Sound like Midget likes to get around in the AL facility. Sounds like everyone just loves her. They say that animals can help lower your blood pressure. Good luck with the barking deal. I hope your arm ease up on the pain so that u can be pain free soon.
Pam, You have been through a lot n trying to take care 4 people n your own family too is a lot on someone plate. If u can get some help please get it, if nothing else at least to help keep your own sanity. ; ) On the other hand, that is too funny about your husband n the panic look on his face. Reminds me of my hubby when I had to leave for a few days or I was going to go crazy n my health was deteriorating too. This is a great place to come to just take a breather or release some stress. Just knowing that their r others dealing with somewhat similar issues. Welcome n keep us posted on how You r doing.
Juju, I try to go with my gut feeling too n normally it is right about something whether a strange to don't trust to a yes, that person's seem just right. Go with the gut feeling. It good to hear your mom is doing a little better, "One Step at a Time." Good Luck with the Alz walk n even though we r not their physically, I like to say if its okay with everyone that, "We all support you with the walk for Alz." Cat, I hope u r doing alright?
I thought it was just me who had to listen to constant gas and belching. I've learned to walk out of the room. It's like being in a car with a dog that's gassy (or is that gassie?). Geeesh
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Poop...have not washed it off the ceiling in a bit, so all good here...
Have a good week everyone...Jen
headbanger for taking the time to post this back in 2011.
luvCuz
Pooh-Pooh-doo-doo Chronicles;
The chronicles were born from trying to lighten the mood on the boards after a seriously crappy week for all caregivers on our forum.
The Pooh-doo chronicles:
1) The shy pooh-pooh: It lingers in the rectum because it has no self esteem. This pooh must be coaxed into appearing anywhere. This pooh frequently will poke out to survey the situation and get scared and return into the rectum. AKA Turtlehead poker.
2) The burglar pooh: Which is like pooh stuck in the chimney when it tried to rob your house. This pooh must be greased up and pulled out. Although you may think you need law enforcement, this pooh is usually too tired to fight once it is removed.
3) The wall-flower pooh-pooh: It enters the room and immediately finds a wall to smear on. No...you can't dance with this pooh.
4) The shelf sitting pooh: You walk by any table and see a new sculpture... and no...this isn't art therapy. This pooh is also known as mountain range pooh...the natural formation is almost breathtaking.
5) The finger paint pooh: Murals of abstract brown art. If you stare at it long enough you can see flowers, trees, and faces of dead celebrities.
6) The hide and seek pooh: Ali-Ali-UM-COMFREE! I give up. I can smell you but can't find you pooh. This can be distressing pooh, especially if your social worker is coming right over.
7) The trace pooh: It lingers under fingernails and defies you to remove it because you just can't hold the elderly hand long enough to get your nail file there. I hate this pooh, I hear it laughing at me. I also fear this pooh because it can turn into....Finger up the nose pooh.
8) The bad-ass pooh: The pooh that stands up to your disenfectant, sponge, and scrub brush, and sends it packing. It is WWF kick-ass wrestle you to the ground pooh. It is the pooh you have to scrub for hours. This pooh must be a gang-member because it has tatoo'd my bathroom and made me it's b*tch. I call this pooh BUBBA and never turn my back on it.
9) Track and Field pooh: This is pooh that runs faster and longer than any other pooh. Usually you see this pooh after your ward has eaten a pound of chocolate, Triscuits, and Pea soup. Although it is a gold medal winning pooh, it is to be avoided at all costs.
10) The pebble pooh: This pooh is an escape artist, it falls out of your ward's depends and conceals itself on the carpet. Not to be confused with hide and seek pooh, this pooh prefers open spaces and looks like raisen-ettes or chocolate malt balls. This pooh is often referred to as "Houdini pooh" because it escapes from any depends and lives to be seen on stage.
11) The Sitcom pooh: This dramatic pooh loves to entertain. This is the pooh that cannot wait to take a bow before a live audience, and is always taken in front of other people.
12) The space-shuttle pooh: This pooh cannot be confused with any other pooh. This pooh is HEAVY and seems to have it's own gravitational pull. Keep your balance when dealing with this pooh. This pooh is like a black-hole and science does not know what happens to objects that this pooh consumes. AKA: Event Horizon Pooh
13) The zip-code pooh: This pooh is so large it needs it's own post-office. This pooh should receive fan-mail and usually blocks up the toilet. (AKA: Plumber pooh)
14) The Titanic Pooh: Unfortunate pooh. Left unattended and with too many flushes behind it...zip code pooh turns into Titanic pooh. This pooh has gone over the top of the porcelain barrier, ripped a gaping hole in it's side, and is sinking on the bathroom floor. This is a slip and fall risk pooh. You may need a raft or at the very least a swamp airboat to navigate the clean up.
15) The disguised little SH*T: Sly and covert this pooh is a master of deceit. This pooh can cleverly mimic pooh from ANY other species or human. Once this pooh escapes the rectum it morph's into any of the following:
A) The caregiver's pooh: OMFG how could YOU have left that pooh there? You are disgusting.
B) Your dogs pooh: I swear to god we have to get rid of your dog. It has a problem!
C) Food: You gonna eat that?
D) Art Supplies: refer to Fig: 4 and Fig 5
16) Celebrity pooh: A larger than life pooh that is impressive in most ways and is always trailed by smaller pooh-parazzi.
17) Reality TV or Heiress pooh: Pooh that has outlived it's 5 minutes in the spotlight but floats at the top of the bowl. Very resistant to flushing.
18) Symphony Pooh: Pooh that is always accompanied by the sounds of a mardi-gras parade. This pooh never slips quietly into the bowl. The orchestra can perform alone without the pooh...this is called slip farts and could be the subject of another post.
19) Insomnia pooh: This is pooh every caregiver hates. This pooh's arrival is always in the middle of the night. It takes so long to get done that it takes most of the night and you are usually too wired to get back to sleep.
20) Political pooh: This pooh market's itself as something it is not. Once you vote for this pooh, it never delivers. Do not let this pooh kiss your baby. When this pooh finally gets elected....it stinks.
21) Dog Whisperer pooh: This is the pooh that looks like a small naughty dog on the carpet. No touch, no talk, no eye contact is best if you want to get close to this pooh with a paper towel. As tired as you may be...please do not keep this pooh as a pet, it cannot be housebroken. *snaps fingers* "ssssstttt"
22) Charmed pooh: This is the pooh that needs three teenage witches to banish it back to where it came from. AKA Exorcist pooh
23) Redneck pooh: This pooh doesn't care what anyone thinks. Is that a mullet? This pooh is fat and bossy. You can picture this pooh draped in a pink prom dress with it's banana boyfriend and 3 hanger on friends...the butterknife boys. This pooh doesn't take sh*t from anyone. It does what it wants.
24) The gymnastic pooh: Still an olympian...a gold medal pooh will somehow be higher on the wall than any other pooh you've seen before. This pooh seems to defy gravity.
25) The couch potato pooh: This pooh loves to sit on the sofa. This pooh can arrange itself in amazing ways. It can resemble a pot smoking teen, a football fanatic, or a napping baby. Always look where you sit. This pooh will let you sit on it's lap and you don't want that.
26) Smooth sailing pooh: This is poop that cuts through the water like a schooner riding a good blow. This poop is full speed ahead and usually creates a splash or "wake". The smooth sailing pooh is almost like spotting the "Flying Dutchman" it is a fantasy, mythical or fabled poop because I sure haven't seen one yet.
27) Manipulative pooh: A naughty, impacted little pooh. This pooh taunts, and teases the caregiver by playing peek-a-boo-doo-doo. Often confused with prairie-doggin-poo which is also a head-poking species of doo, manipulative pooh will pout and grief you until coaxed from the rectum...usually by manual means. Manipulative doo will try and make you feel bad about yourself so wear gloves when tickling this pooh from from it's hiding place.
28) The snowball poop: This is the fecal flyer of the poop world. This poop is not a joyful winter distraction lofted through the air by playful, laughing children. This arial menace is a biological WAR WEAPON that is wielded with unnatural precision by its maker when faced with unpleasant hygiene tasks such as hair washing and showering. This crap can be tossed to distract the unsuspecting caregiver, or fired with deadly accuracy to knock the caregiver out of commission. The target of such an attack can expect a painful strike or a sticky, smelly, smear all resulting in delay of shower or bathing activity for the maker of the pooh-doo. Caregivers who receive advanced training in snowball evasion techniques are best equipped to deal with this air combat projectile. Also known as Monkey Flung-Doo or Sling-shot-Sh*t."
29) Franken-Pooh....That pooh hides under your bed and in your closet causing all kinds of problems. This pooh scares small children at night and makes knocking noises while moving small objects. Disembodied voices can be heard in homes where a Franken-Pooh-Doo has taken up residence. Your house would then need to be investigated for pooha-normal activity. Call in the Pooh-dooh-Hunters.
Later!
Headbanger
lildeb! 12 life jackets onboard!
All screwholes not plugged. Ran out of pud.
Thanks Cuz!
Headbanger was a trip and a half and I hope she is doing well.
More boat work today and it looks like we may be getting some hurricane action this weekend. oh boy.
hope everyone is doing the best they can with what they are coping with!
lovbob
Bobbie...hunker down and stay safe...nothing like some rocking and rolling on the boat.
Cuz...funny stuff, thank headbanger for me, Lol!!
Lildeb...you have been MIA for awhile, glad to see you posting again.
Jen...certainly done with a fork stuck...oh who knows where!!
Pruned all of mom's roses today...not a good Idea. I had to use my left hand cuz right hand has no strength to press down hard enough on the clippers, but it is done. I tucked my gloves in my front pant pocket and then noticed they were gone...one was on the patio, the other one was missing. Looked all over the back yard when I thought...Midget!!! Yes she took it in the house, LOL!! The little thief!!
Found out the community did not return mom's phone to her room....so how is she able to call us??? She is sneaking into other residents rooms and using their phones,LOL!!! My mom always was a sneaky lady!!
luvCuz
Wow: That is quite a volume on poo!!! I must say there were several on the list I recognized.
Well, here's an update on my situation: As of today I do not have the rest of my biopsy report. Guess the 4th of July holiday has really slowed things down. I was supposed to be in Seattle today for a breast MRI and then meet with the surgeon tomorrow am. At the last minute, we were told that the insurance company has not yet approved the MRI, which is required, so I can't get it done today. As a result, I'm not going to Seattle today. I can't see going there, staying the night, boarding the dogs for two days in order to talk to a surgeon who can't speak specifics about my situation. So we've rescheduled for next. Good grief.
Lildeb, sounds like you are having some terrible weather. Mame, I hope things have improved at your house and your son is better. Bobbie, stay dry. Jen, Sharyn, Juju, Cuz, sending hugs. Kuli, sending some white light to your friend. Meanwhile, hope your foot is better.
Sorry for who I missed. Best wishes to all.
Cat
Sharyn-omg that is soooo funny that mom is sneaking to use other peoples phones!!!! Made me lol!!! Amazing what they are capable of!
Bobbie-will be thinking of you and wish you safety through the storm!
Cuz-that really was awesome that you could find the old post and share it! Sooo funny! How is your bro doin?
Lildeb-good to see you back! Hope you get the respite you need-even if only for a short while!
Jen-glad the poop machine has been off line for a while.
Cat-big days ahead for you-hope you can keep us posted as we all care for you and what you are going through! Prayers and white light and positive thoughts going up for you woman!
Meanwhile-glad your sis's horse is making new friends and would have loved to watch him put the youngins in their place!
Juju-Don't worry about being self absorbed...it is you and your mom-like most of us...what else have we got? I read what you say and shake my head in agreement constantly-been there done that or yup, going thru that feeling at this moment... it is what it is. Keep on keepin on!
Welcome Nicenurse!
Flex-how you holdin up? Hope you are doing ok going through all your mom's stuff. Tough job but can be wonderful at the same time.
Mom is better from the UTI. However, she has been bed bound and is now very weak. I am just not sure she is going to bounce back this time. Just a feeling and as many of you have heard before-she is a cat with way more than nine lives and she loves to say "fooled ya!" So, we shall see. PT from visiting nurses is coming this week. Mom is not eating much, she is drinking. She says she is feeling better but is just tired, and she is sleeping a ton. Maybe I should try to get another urine sample to make sure the UTI is gone? She is soooo much better than she was that I think it must be gone. If I have to take her to the Dr it will have to be to the ER and by ambulance which she told me yesterday she does not want to go there. I am a bit afraid maybe she is shutting down...but she isn't doing much so why would she eat much right? She is pooping a little and peeing. I find myself holding my breath in the morning when I get up and go in to see if she is still breathing. The siblings who care to talk about it have all said, whatever happens, happens. She has made it clear she is feeling better and doesn't want to go to the hosp. Ugh. I just want to do the right thing.
My son seems to be a bit better from the throat pain, headache and vomiting. He was living on advil and Tylenol. Now he has diarrhea. Poor kid. He has been pitiful. I am cleaning door handles and water faucets and the TV remote with Clorox cleanup all the time! I hope no one else gets this!
I feel like I have just been going back and forth between him and mom constantly! And my hands are raw from washing so much! But, I do think things are looking up.
The visiting nurses finally called and will be coming out and as I mentioned-promised PT this week for mom. Their assessment will make me feel so less anxious!
Doing ok on 1/2 my anxiety meds even through all this. I have been on it (full dose) long enough that now on half dose, when I start to feel the anxiety brewing, I can talk myself down-and to breathe normally. It takes a minute but it works. I know how I should handle the anxiety and I can feel it getting ramped up, so I do think I can wean from the meds completely. The weird dizzy feelings I first got when I dropped to half have gone completely. I look forward to my next 1/2 drop in a week or so!
Hot and humid again here. Hopefully a reprieve from the humidity this weekend. Fingers crossed! Hope everyone has a decent day! Mame
Diane: I hope you are doing ok. Love your new fur kids.
Has anyone talked to Deef?
Cat~Sorry you had to postpone your appointment, I would be disappointed too.
My brother's mil passed away last night, another loss for his family just 2 months after they lost their son.
Blessings to all of you, you are in my thoughts, hugs!!
Well I got an updated list of caregivers finally from my SR case mgr (I mean how hard is it to print a list for us, been asking since Feb, oh she has been moved to new position, so I have new worker now too, will talk with her today!) called them all yesterday and shockingly 5 have responded Interviewed 1 yesterday and 3 today! ((2.5 yr old list.12 names 1 responded to say she was booked n 5 of were bad numbers)) And the Sr companion group believes they will be able to replace Wanda for me. I was kinda unsure bout that as when she had surgery n was out for a while they had no one! So helpfront is looking up and the new HHA have been wonderful!
Got ahold of the home insurance company to come look at our issues, water heater leak, roof leak/ceiling hole, few other stuff..see if we can get somekind of help with the costs. worth a try! oh I should ask them bout the sink hole maybe they can help there too...need an engineer excavator to properly fill and stabilize the empty structure, apperantly the just covered top with wood and couple feet of dirt and it went that scary day!!!
Cat that is so frustrating... I hope you can get in as soon as possible, the uncertainty or the unknown is brutal. Lots of love n light to you also!
Mame I do forget my doc gave me some Xanax last visit...but I haven't been that stressed lately. I don't feel the need YET to take them, lol!!! Since the last hospital stay anyway...did need a couple, I break them in half, specially when they sed ma had 1-6mo's!
Meanwhile love the horse stories
Cuz you sure are great at coming up with the research and the funnies, on top of it!!!
Bobbie stay safe n dry, we need our cap'n!!!
Flex furry friends are nice!! Enjoy!!
Cat and Kuli's friend are in my prayer group. and Jen's li'l Monty too! all of us!
Everyone else, whoever I missed, hang in there, and thanks for the support and hope you all are doing well with your challenges.
Busy day again
Luv
Juju
just cleaned up round 3 and we are running out of blanket/bedding now so I must start hosing down the mess out on the laundry line...bbbaarrrfffff n get this stuff washed up urgently! thank goodness this is the grossed thread, lol, sincerely lol..or I would not be able to take it...gotta find the humor in it!
Dooty calls!
Luv juju
Dr. said I probably have a pinched nerve in my neck. He was going to order an x-ray which I was fine with but I told him I was told by 2 different Chiropractors that I have osteoarthritis and bone spurs on my neck. He prescribed a muscle relaxer and said if this doesn't work then we will get an x-ray. I am only going to take 1/2 a tablet a night since the pharmacist said it will knock me out with 4 times a day.
Bobbie, u must have a big boat or just double up on the jackets. Be careful on the water with the weather. I would be defiantly sea-sick if the boat goes back/forth rocking. All the power to you n be safe.
Kuli, You n your family r in my prayers n sorry for your loss. Please keep us posted on how the surgery goes n how u r holding up too. Just remember that, we r all here for you n your family.
Cat, you didn;t won't to go just yet for all that mess anyway. Insurance can be a pain n the ass royally! At least u got a call to let u know before you got all the way up their. Weather was actually nice today for a change. Florida folks were getting it pretty bad too.
mame, you r already doing the right thing n that is what your mom wants. It does sound like she is tired of the hospitals n could be ready to go to a better place. I think it more harder on us care-giver than anyone else to '"let-go." Not giving-up but letting-go. You r already doing everything that can be done. You have a big warm n loving heart. hang in their n keep us posted on your mom.
Hi to Jen, Book, Juju, sharyn, n anyone I forgot but not on purpose.
I hope everyone is able to get some rest n a pooh break.
A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a Redneck on a
flight to Kentucky . After the plane took off, the Redneck asked for a
whiskey and ice, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.
Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken
advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips.
"The Redneck then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
luvCuz
Gosh that bug/flu/whatever was quick n brutal....she is better just getting some more fluids and nutrition today! didn't want to overdo-it yesterday case she started back up with the vomiting! RN also will come today instead of tomoro to make sure she ok!
I absolutely loved 2 of the four interviewee's so I may hire them both to have options. They both were just wonderful and glowed with mom. immediately drawn to her and touched n held her hand. You don't see that with all. and although they are not allowed to recommend the OT was here today (along with speech/eating) and knows the one gal and had wonderful things to say bout the family n ethics etc....within her limits, which I could just tell already but that was a comfort. Although the last one who flaked out was great with ma, knowing what to do etc...I did get this shady feeling, but had no other option at that time. I am going to go with my gut from now on!
Contractor showed up in the middle of all the appt's n ma drama...was a crazy day but productive
Should be slow her today, we need it!
Sharyn, Cuz, Kuli....prayers for your family n friends struggling! I wish the best!
Everyone have a decent day!
Bob hope the boat is not rockin too much!!
Luv Juju
Kuli! what a lot of sadness all at once for your friend. Glad she is where she can get help. Maybe just knowing that she can put the burden down and have others care for her will be helpful.
Cuz! Wow about Mike! What can they do for him so he doesn't suffer so? I can't imagine the pain that he's in. Awful.
Cat! postponing appointments is tedious. They'll get their ducks in a row before you know it and at least the questions will be answered and you will know exactly how to move forward. You gonna be ok gurl.
lildeb! I guess it is a big boat but considering what it looks like next to a cargo ship it's pretty small haha. All about the point of view. When I have to wash it it's big. when it's raining and I am stuck on it for awhile it's small.
The storm will be a soaker and here this weekend. Right now we have good weather and we are working on the outside. It's starting to look nice!
lildeb you are right about the 'letting go' part. Our parents try to stay alive to please us I think and then when we are ready they are ready. Not everyone to be sure but I think the caregiver being ready to let go is a huge step in the end stage process. It's sad, sad, sad.
Flex! Didn't you have a birthday recently? Hope you had a good time. How are you doing?
DEEF!!
Sharyn! I read about your neck and I bet I have some of the same issues. I have the tingling and soreness and I am afraid to look at an xray of my neck. Ow Ow so I can appreciated the pain that you are in and I hope the meds help.
sorry about the loss of your brother's mil. So many losses....
Juju! Yup, this is the Grossed thread and man oh man some of the caregiving things are gross. No 2 ways about it.
Mame! Hope you are doing ok!
OK, shout outs to everyone and back to the boat for me.
lovbob
Today is a better day, I visited with mom (Midget came too), she was so happy to see midget!! Mom was really good today, we took a little walk, she said two of her former co-workers had been in to see her right before I got there. Midget makes her rounds to all the residents who want to see her. We even stopped on the assisted living side so midget could greet some of the people who remember her living there. After leaving there, we went to petsmart and bought a cat tree for poor tiger. I put him on the top perch, he seemed to like it...hopefully he will accept it as a place to come in the house and get away from the dog. I think I am going to save up some money and have midget trained to stop her barking (she was very restless last night, barking at every noise she heard), and to teach her to ignore the cat.
Thinking about all of you...cat, cuz, kuli...sending out prayers. Mame hope your mom is getting stronger everyday, meanwhile hope your foot is healing, deef...how are you? Flex...how is work going, are you adjusting to this new journey? Lildeb, I hope you are able to get the creatine levels down, take care of you!! Juju...happy to like the interviewees and hope they work out. Can you get a pair of glasses from a pharmacy if you only need them for reading...much cheaper.
Take care everyone! Hugs!!
Thank You. Each and every one of you. I can't remember how I found this spot, but somebody was looking out for me. I have been depressed and at my wits end for a few months now and thought I was alone with all these feelings. thank you for letting me know I am not alone, and more importantly, for making me laugh more than I have in too long.
I am the only caretaker for my mom, stepdad, wonderful but broken hubby and on occasion, my mentally disabled little sister. I have been doing this full time for just shy of 3 years now. It all started after my eldest sister passed away and I came home to spend a couple of weeks with my parents cause I didn't like how my mom sounded on the phone. Within days of my arrival, I knew I was moving back to California (from Washington state) and taking care of them. . My parents were both severely malnourished and both had pneumonia when I first came home. They are both diabetic and had been too ill too care for themselves for 3 weeks and no one knew. I have siblings who swear they were taking care of them "when they had time", which I found out meant they stopped by once a month or so. The whole thing scared me so badly, I swore I would take care of my parents for however long I had left with them. It took 2 months to get them stabilized and well enough that I could go get hubby, put our house up for sale and everything we owned into storage. But by the time I got back to Washington, hubby was in serious condition and it took a month before he was strong enough to travel. So much for those who swore to take care of him so I could take care of my parents.
Within 2 months of our moving in with my parents so that I could care for them all, my husband was losing too much ground from the stress of living there, so I began to look for a rental for us. The day we were to sign the lease, dad had a bad stroke, but I got him to the hospital within 20 minutes and saved his life. I used to be kind of proud of that. Hubby and I stayed for another 4 months before I found a rental 2 blocks away. I moved my disabled sister from an hour away to within a block of my parents to centralize all I was caring for. I had no idea what I had set myself up for.
2 straight years of care taking 4 people wore me out. They were all doing great, but I had 2 heart attacks in 2 days in February 2011. I immediately sought out help with my parents and sister, but it took a year before nurses were obtained once per week for each of them. In that time, my heart has weakened further and now my dr suspects either Lupus or MS. I think I am just worn out. I read in early posts where Bobbi had said she added 5 years to her moms life, but it cost her that much off of her own. Seems about right.
Ok. That's my story. Now I can post without having to do that again.
Thanks again for all your humor, wisdom and grace while I learn to be better at this.
You have made it through so much and now that you know that you are not alone you will make it the rest of the way.
Knowing I wasn't alone made all the difference to me and helped me survive this most difficult period in my life...and I didn't have anywhere near the responsibilities that you have!
omg on the 2 heart attacks!
The worn out that you are feeling is the universal reaction to the pressure cooker of stress that caring for the elderly and sick places us in.
If you can place your parents and get more help with your husband you will heal.
It sounds harsh when we come to grips that it comes down to them or us. But it just is. If you read all the posts you know the struggle I faced and many others on this thread faced.
You already know that I have stated again and again that if I had it to do all over boy oh boy would I have done it differently.
I hope you keep writing here and updating us on your progress.
You only have to post twice to be considered a valued member of this crazy crew and by writing out your story, just like you have, you help others struggling with the same issues.
And when it gets so tough and so hard to handle, thinkoftheboat. It's real!
Here's hoping you can now think your way out of the situation you are in so you can face a happier future.
Cuz! How is cuzMike today?
Jen!!!
Big rain coming and the boat angel is outside working to get us sealed up and ready.
The Storm formerly known as Chantal will be a soaker!
Love you guys and hope everyone has as good a day as possible with what you all are dealing with.
lovbob
Sharyn, yes I have been using "readers" for years. I find that lately they are also difficult as they only work if I keep my self steady in one position. Moving forward or backward things blur up and I am constantly on n off with em...
What I was hoping and I am not sure of is something more all around as it seems to be getting worse. I am not sure real glasses will even do it tho!
Well, well it was a busy day again. Momma is doing good from the flu incident...still need to make sure she is hydrated enuf as she lost so much so quick, but RN gave her a thumbs up and reinforced hydration.
Hired one gal yesterday, she will come 3 times next week to "catch up" round here then we will get a regular schedule worked out and I still want to get the other gal in as an alternate...I am not sure how to work this out as I want them each to get enough hours to make it desirable but I cannot become stuck without help when I need it either. or if one does quit suddenly again I have some back up.. will talk to HHA's MSW (social worker) on this see what she suggests and also I have some info I found about writing up "contract" with the expectations and rules.
It did get kinda busy yesterday again so hoping today I can get some more of this admin stuff taken care of...and find a place to put the Costco loot, lol....love the prices but man bulk is bulk...and this house is not going to get any bigger. along with the critter problems I have some totes to put some of it in.
BTW the one critter who was keeping me awake, in the vents, last month seems to be gone, thank goodness! Also need to get my S'mores stuff out and put that to use before it spoils!!! Been on the back burner for a bit!!! As mom's current care is number #1.
And I really do want to get started on the ALZ walk promotion, that is important to us. We had to go hundred miles last year and this year they are doing it in our closest city, only 25 miles, hope to get more peeps actively involved, if it is possible, lol!!!! Well me n ma are going no matter who else supports us!
another funny thing. I have not been outwardly stressed for a while but I do have an old issue popping up again. When I was a workaholic back in the Silicon Valley I used to suffer terribly with excema....it disappeared when I left the workforce and has now resurfaced, hands only this time but they itch n hurt at times...I have some cream from days past and seems to be helping and it is more of an annoyance than an issue..but just ironic I put my old skills back to use and this comes back....better than just being burned out but not a coincidence I am sure!!!
Jen hope you n monty are ok!
Cat...thinking of you as always!
Everyone..(I will have to make a darn list of names so not to forget anyone) have a good day with your challenges, Love n support to you all, hang in there!
Peace out,
Juju
Congratulations and welcome again.
Juju! you are getting your business handled and good for you.
Cat! How goes it?
You might like this:
We are docked across from a beautiful area that is packed with birds so the birdsong is a welcome change from the countless My Cousin Vinny trains that ran right next to the boatyard we were in and the noise of the TraveLifts and grinders, etc etc. After all it was a working boatyard so I can't cry about it but it just underscores how pleasant this place is in comparison.
Anyhoo, there's one bird that makes a call like the first 5 tones of the National Geographic theme...
You know the one. Go ahead and hum it in your head. I'll wait.
Yup, that's it.
There's another bird that sounds EXACTLY like one of the Kitty's toys. It's been driving us both goofy. I think that she has her toy out and is dragging it up and down and she thinks I want to play with her and shows up looking for a good time.
Ahhh...happy problems and a very cool move forward for yours truly, the Ship's Cat: Clawshank the Decimator (the reason we can't have nice things) and the Boat Angel.
We have come a long way and couldn't have done it without you guys and that's a fact.
OK, closing in on boat time... who's going to get it haha.
Pam: when we hit a post that ends in 00 that person gets 'boat time'.
4 caregivers from the Grossed thread have already been to the boat for real and we have plans for more!
lovbob
Sharyn, I don't think any care-giver can be a girly girl or manly-man for the stuff we do. ; ) I think that is how I hurt my lower back from cutting n pulling tree limbs for someone got to do it. Sorry u still n pain. Sound like Midget likes to get around in the AL facility. Sounds like everyone just loves her. They say that animals can help lower your blood pressure. Good luck with the barking deal.
I hope your arm ease up on the pain so that u can be pain free soon.
Pam, You have been through a lot n trying to take care 4 people n your own family too is a lot on someone plate. If u can get some help please get it, if nothing else at least to help keep your own sanity. ; ) On the other hand, that is too funny about your husband n the panic look on his face. Reminds me of my hubby when I had to leave for a few days or I was going to go crazy n my health was deteriorating too. This is a great place to come to just take a breather or release some stress. Just knowing that their r others dealing with somewhat similar issues. Welcome n keep us posted on how You r doing.
Juju, I try to go with my gut feeling too n normally it is right about something whether a strange to don't trust to a yes, that person's seem just right. Go with the gut feeling. It good to hear your mom is doing a little better, "One Step at a Time." Good Luck with the Alz walk n even though we r not their physically, I like to say if its okay with everyone that, "We all support you with the walk for Alz."
Cat, I hope u r doing alright?