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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Pam, you gave me a chuckle with the hubby. I just read your post, I tend to skim at times, bad eyes !! ....wow you have got your hands full. I hope you can get some more help! Don't forget to take care of you, too!!
Hey Jen, I can't even imagine the hell you are in. Wish you were here with me and my little boat family.
Welcome mesquite! Yup, nothing like orifice sounds to really make you appreciate living alone! Keep venting because it really works.
Cuz! what was that joke about the old lady and the silent gas!! Hope cuzMike is feeling better. Is there any news?
The boat is buttoned up and as ready as we can make it for the rain. The place I left a few weeks ago just had a powerful microburst with fierce winds but I don't know if there was any damage yet. Hope not.
Pam! how are you coping with your new information?
Meanwhile! how are you doing? How's the foot? Kuli! how is your friend doing? Mame! wassup? sharynmarie!
Cat! check in if you can and let us know how you are feeling! Everybody!
ok, going to bed. I think the rain may come in the night. Supposed to be a lot so it's a good thing this is a boat.
Wow Pam! You sure are a busy gal! Keep lookin for more help! You definitely need some relief. Hi everybody. On my way to bed but wanted to check in. Mom is in the hospital. She is dehydrated, constipated and her white blood count is up and they don't know why. They put in a cath and got a urine sample and said it looks good so they think the UTI is gone... So, now to figure out if it is just the dehydration making her wbc higher or some other infection. Took a ton of blood so we will know more tomorrow. My sis is staying with her tonight and I will go back in the morning. She was much better even after one bag of IV fluids! I told hubby she was constipated and that I hope they get that cleared up before she comes back home...haha...he said he knew she was full of sh*t-so I told her what he said before I left her with sis and she laughed and laughed! She hasn't smiled in days! We thought she was dyin last night! Scary. Scratch off another life for that cat. We are up to about 39! Gnight all! Mame
A fart is a pleasant thing... It gives the belly ease... It warms the bed in winter... And suffocates the fleas. A fart can be quiet... A fart can be loud... Some leave a powerful... Poisonous cloud A fart can be short... Or a fart can be long... Some farts have been known... To sound like a song..... A fart can create... A most curious medley... A fart can be harmless... Or silent...and deadly. A fart might not smell... While others are vile... A fart may pass quickly... Or linger a while... A fart can occur... In a number of places... And leave everyone there... With strange looks on their faces. From wide-open prairie... To small elevators... A fart will find all of... Us sooner or later. But farts are all bad... Is simply not true... We must never forget... Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye...right?
Why not send this on to other old farts And bring a smile...or...a tear to them!
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find onel
The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "I have some really great news!" I said,
"Great, tell me why you're so happy."
She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!
I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's more." I asked,
"What do you mean 'more?"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said....
(You're going to love this!)
"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Walmart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!"
It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I. Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do. Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine. I didn't know how But I tried my best I started by placing My hands on her breast. I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apart. And when I did it I felt no shame All at once The white stuff came. At last it's finished It's all over now My first time ever At milking a cow...
Can't resist. BOAT TIME. But I should wait until after the storm. Foot is doing better, thanks for asking Bobbi. Sorry, I've just been lurking. Have to get to bed, take care everyone.
Aw. Cuz, you beat me. You get the boat time. Can't say you don't deserve it, with all the jokes you post. I told the one about the Baptist preacher and the redneck at work today. (Work with a bunch of Baptist's, so couldn't resist).
Mame-how scary thinking and praying for your peace of mind and momma's too..laughter is good, really i was just reading how healing it can be....gotta laff at the crap sometimes or looneybin is around the corner. Just fyi but you may know...some of those painkillers will cause constipation, they have us on stool softeners and laxitives with them, as needed for all, of course. Try to get some rest and relaxation a bit while you can, hard to but is a break for you...idk, i could never relax when ma was in hospital. sounds like a good idea tho....
Bob stay safe n dry or........ get hammered n bodysurf at midnite like we did in Barbados, hahaha!
Oh I love the sound of the birds round here, all the morning chirps of such variety...I heard turkeys up on the hill couple months ago, that was a first! I in wet months the frogs are in the ditch behind me nite n morn serenading, I enjoy them too, it is pretty, there must be hundreds out there!!! don't take the time to sit n have coffee listening anymore but just open windows and enjoy! the deer will come down for the apples too in certain seasons which must be coming up as apples are plenty n growing, my ALz moment..hehehee!!! Ziggy found a fawn skull n leg when he was a pup I caught him trying to bury skull on one of his escapes...i am pretty sure a cougar got it as the fur n more bones were in a corner covered in leaves n debris....wildlife officer sed cougars corner their prey n bury like that and fence was broken...that was skeery for a while or maybe dogs idk i couldn't see my dogs doing that but a stray??....Nature beautiful but cruel!!! Oh ya the sinkhole has become a snake pit, contractor told me, well least a couple, lol, wonder what they living on down there, bugs? idk....critters of all kind don't bother me less they making a racket, or mess, lol!
yup my life is still a mess but i am happy and doing the best i can to get things taken care of lil by lil gonna take a while....i no longer feel like i need a change or break, i love spending every minute with mom as there may not be as many as i thought, and just doing few things everyday to move forward.... i am not feeling like i am missing out on life anymore... i chose this life and i mine as well make the best of my choice.... i literally could walk away at any point but i would not...I have recently eliminated people that were making me feel bad...and i don't feel like i am missing anything or one.....funny i saw a FB quote last week that sed "i am not depressed, i am just surrounded by ass*hole*s" I laffed so hard, I so got it not the only reason but life is nice even if i have less friends today than months ago... Sure miss my Wanda/mom. Her services are coming Saturday! I want to go visit my BFF soon now mom is stabilizing, that will be nice, maybe next weekend idk...
Sweet dreams y'all, saying a prayer for everyone tonite!!!! Luv, Juju
Wow it was 95 when i started my post, thought well maybe in the AM i mite try for boattime, lol....i gots one too....i shared somewhere else while back...
An elderly woman went to her DR with a nagging problem.... She tells the doc, I have been passing silent gas at an alarming rate. In the grocery store, in church, at home, everywhere doc, Silent gas!!! As a matter of fact doc I have passed silent gas as I sit here, several times.
The doc looks at her, pauses, contemplates the situation and begins...the first thing we will do is.....get your hearing aids adjusted !
I started out wanting to share this and ending up typing a novel
Amazing Caramel Sauce
Alright everyone, this recipe is too good to keep to myself! I love a tablespoon of this added to my coffee and nothing more, or on ice cream, or for dipping apples, the possibliites are endless! Anyone can make this: Recipe yields 1 1/2 cups (although I usually double it but its just as easy to only make a half batch)
1 cup packed brown suger (I use light brown or golden) 1/2 cup heavy cream 4 tablespoons butter Pinch of sea salt 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Melt butter in pot, mix in brown sugar, cream and salt. Cook over medium-low heat and whisk gently for about 7 minutes or longer if you doubled. I remove the pot from the heat, add vanilla and return to cook for another minute or so to thicken a bit more. Take it off the stove and pour into a jar then pop it into the fridge and VOILA you're done!
I'm not very good at math, but Cuz got BOAT TIME!! Yay!! You deserve it, Cuz!! Love ya like my own Cuz! More, actually:) heehee Hey, jujubean, Pam, and mesquite: wonderful new Crew! WhooHoo! Kuli, praying for your friend. Captain, so good to see you renewed:) xo Jen, always thinking of you. Where 's Deef? Sending good vibes to her. Mame, prayers for your Mom; it's always something. xo SharynMarie--I know you! xo Meanwhile, Indigo and furry friends, xo:) Cattails, in my prayers and loving daily thoughts, xo Diane, xo and all Crew, old and new. Lurking in low tide. Never far from dock. {{{Big Hugs}}}
Wow a lot of activity here today!! Welcome to Pam and Mesquite!! Cuz your joke are a great stress reliever, my fil was always proud of his farts in bed....he would fan the blankets to spread it. My mil would counter by spraying perfume. It was their nightly game with each other, LOL!!
Lildeb~Yes midget loves people and you are right on about pets relieving stress. My plan is to have midget trained after our vaca in Sept. I want to use her to help the other residents but she needs to be trained not to jump on people.... elderly can bruise or get skin tears so easily.
Mame~So sorry about your mother!! It must have been very scary thinking she was dying. I am glad to hear she is responding to treatment. Keep us posted. Hugs!!
Bobbie~Just stay dry...you, hubby and the cat. Sounds like you got everything under control!
We have a bird here that sings all night long. Don't know what it is but it carries on all night. It doesn't bother me....I hear it because I wake up several times during the night. Someone told me it's a mockingbird...who knows.
Christina~ A big hello to you!!
I am off tomorrow for my brother's mil's service. My sil's family is not religious so it will be a graveside service with a reception at their home afterward. It has been a rough year for my brother and sil...so many losses. I hope now that my sil can grieve for her son and her mother. Their retirement party has been postponed. Enjoy the weekend however you can with all the caregiving, grab some moments of peace and if you have the chance to let your hair down (if you have hair, LOL!), grab it with both hands and laugh!!
Feeling numb today. Head is in a fog. Thought I would sleep well with no squawk box in my ear all night. But had weird dreams. Woke up with shoulders tight in anxiety and shallow breathing-almost panting. Writing a letter in my mind about this one ED doc-he was soooo mean to mom and condescending - had terrible bedside manner...why are some people in that profession? Gotta get up to the hospital and relieve sis. Gonna be a long day. Another crappy weekend. (Hopefully literally-and all while she is there for someone else to clean up!!!) Sorry I just don't have it in me to say hello to everyone individually...this roller coaster ride was a bit much this week. But know I am thinking of you all. Mame
Mame, I feel you....ER has been a terrible experience, no one should have to fear bringing a loved one to the hospital. I cant believe how arrogant these DR's have been....HANG IN THERE N TRY to get some rest if you can today, see if they have a recliner or sleeper chair for you to stretch out abit Idk and bring or wear something comfy, PJ's a blanket etc., for YOU. I am in your corner as we all are I am sure..... I know my bout last month with Dr's made my neck/arm hurt so bad. I am so sorry you are going thru this and also just the pure scary feeling of maybe losing her. praying for your family and your REST!!!
Sharyn, your m/fil reminds me of the ol Dutch Oven, too funny! prayers to your family!!!
Sad weekend for us too....Wanda's service will be hard. I am so irritated with her family LInda her daughter called me late last nite and the SIL is up to something shady it appears with the estate and will...Poor LInda is being taken advantage of and there is not much I can do to help her. The brother n SIL couldn't be bothered with details till their vacation was over then came in and changed the time of service this week (and went home hours away, not a care ) after announcements were made, without even consulting Linda. Linda had to call everyone and get the word out, hopefully it spread, or they will miss the darn service. Now sil is being deceitful and something is very fishy in my mind. IDK what to say or do besides get an attorney to check things out...but if I didn't mention it Linda has some kind of learning disability and has a real difficult time talking and reading n writing as well an attorney is way beyond her grasp, I could just tell when I mentioned it....I am sure they are walking all over her. I am so sad, literally heartbroken, to see this happen to such a nice sweet person who has lived next to and been thick with her mother all her life! She takes solice in "she has mom with her" the urn etc,,,,it is sad tho none the less I wish I could do more but I got my hands full. I did offer to get the Real estate agent to give us an rough estimate of the value of her moms house as I am sure this SIL is not truthful on that subject, and I am going to see her today anyway.
Ironically They did find someone to come out and sit with ma, so I can get out for errands, she will come today. the new caregiver I hired will be a work in progress as she is not real experienced hands on care but has a wonderful vibe and work ethic, I can tell !!! So she will start just cleaning and whatever she can to support me..and mammasit if I have to leave, not a whole lot of the hands on dirty work till we both feel comfortable with it...but sure be nice to get anykind of help dishes, floors, bathrooms, laundry etc...anything helps. Well I went on n on again.....sorry
Hang in there everyone, take it day by day!!!! try to smile/laugh about something today! Luv Juju
oh n great idea for Midget to visit with the guests at the facility!!! Two birds with one stone, can visit your mom and cheer up the rest as well! Good thought sharyn!
Jen "The Professional Grouse" here... AGAIN. I have to stop hoping and praying for good to happen, things just keep getting worse....
"gurple gurple GURPLE GURRPLE" yep...basement drain backing up...and the seal on the basement toilet is leaking so that is probably broken now and the toilet will need to be taken off re sealed $$$$$$$etc....great, swell, lovely and of course it is all my fault...waiting to Roto Rooter and hoping fp is gone before they come, mom worried about getting him out and a truck in drive way...does any of that really matter?...Just shoot me already...Errands maybe later today. whatever, why care nothing ever goes well. well for long anyhow...Good weekend everyone, hope it is saner where you are...
Boat Time for me please, if i have to steal a credit card and run away... Jen
Oh that is horrible Jen, one of our toilets is out and I wont replace it till I figure out why it keeps spewing poo every three months or so. Made some progress with contractors this week, found some community rehab programs, picked up an app today. We will see....the water heater is on now on bypass so I need to flip a handle to turn on hot but it is there when we need....wondered why water n heat were so high....that has been spewing under house for months the hardwood has buckled over the last few weeks, right at entry to home so it is a tripping hazard now....head in sand method didn't pay off, lol....I can only laff now cuz I have been miserable for too long, and somehow I cant anymore! I have no control over it...house is falling apart but I am happy to watch it crumble, hahhahah again only cuz my misery meter is not able to accept anymore...we hit rock bottom I guess!!! wish I could rub some off on you, Jen
Well that story is to say, Maybe I should come get ya, JEN, probably not too far and take a trip to the ocean or Columbia River Gorge, want to see! !!! Give Ma n ol FP a " friendly" gesture on the way out, lol!!! We are needing a crab trip soon as ma is good to travel again!!! Months end in "r" are best loot but may not be able to wait! Crab is good food! I got bout 40 nice ones on last crab/campout last September!!!
#1 son came by with my two beautiful granddaughters yesterday. Hubby & I get to have them all to ourselves for two weeks starting next week. These two are the light and joy in my life, so I am tickled. Two whole weeks of pool time, crafts projects, baking and lots of cuddles. Best cure i can imagine for a bit of the blues. Downside is when my parents realize the girls are here, they up the demanding and manipulation in a bizarre competition for my attention. Does anyone else have jealousy issues like this from those they care for?
Cuz, You are the sweetest guy:) Always thinking of someone else. You have spent so much time posting Long and Funny jokes here for the last few years just to give exhausted caregivers a laugh and distraction. What a Guy. Big Hugs:) xo
Pam, put on earplugs and blinders and enjoy your babies! Make a schedule for tending to your parents for their usual needs and that's it. I'm mean. Maybe get some movies for your parents to watch to occupy them. Lalalalala. Have fun!
The graveside service was really great. It turns out sil's mother was a Christian so the service followed with psalm 23. My sil's dil (married to sil's son who passed on May 9) presented my sil with the ashes of her son today. It was very heartfelt gesture that brought everyone to tears. She said they could share him because that is what he would have wanted.
i am worn out so I will catch up with everyone later. Hugs to all!!
I am realizing there is a clear downside to this amazing site. I just spent an hour typing out a long whine about mom, little sis and dad and poor me trying to cope. I re-read through it before posting and became ill just seeing my own whining. It made me realize how much that crap runs through my head. I have never been such a pity mouse, what has happened to my strength? Seriously! I keep hearing Linda Ronstads"poor, poor pitifull me" in my head. Jeez.
Just to regain my pride and self worth, I vow to post positive or at least humorous stuff from now on. So, if you hear of a woman in So Cal who snapped and beat her sister to death with her own disgusting, crap covered dog, it's probably me.
Too funny Pam, Sometimes you do got to just get it out, tho, it does help. I will be waiting the headlines, hehehe, a little sarcasm goes a long way for me anyway I whine too much too....I start typing a short hello it turns into a book, lol. I need to work on that. I will have that tune in my head now!
This week Is "Graffiti week" here. All the old classic n muscle cars are out n about yesterday on my trip to town. That was very cool to see so many on the road everywhere up in the "city". They put on events and shows in all the different communities around the county, at different times. I believe there is "show n shine" here in our little city park today. Some really cool cars I saw yesterday, some I have no idea what they were...long n lean for sure.
Well the big "D" has returned with a vengeance, was a rough evening n night so we may miss Wanda's service or go and just have to leave if she has an explosion. I am wondering now if it is these new protein shakes, milk based, I put her on. I will try soy or almond milk, I think. idk.....got her drinking some Gatorade to rehydrate...otherwise she is fine, good appetite and no complaints of stomach ache or anything so I am kinda puzzled.
Other than that we plan to make the best of the weekend, and maybe go see some of these cars today on way to service, if we do make it there. That will really bother me, if I cant make it to Wanda's service. I will call a couple peeps to see if they would stay with her, I doubt it on short notice and Saturday...it is fun/river day around here! fingers crossed!!
And I just have to say you all write so eloquently and thoughtfully...that is a gift in itself...to be proud of!!! Something for me to aspire to.
Hoping everyone is coping ok...it is rough life to live, you are all stars for doing all you do!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Hey to Deef if you are there, Hope you are OK...
Welcome Pam and I hope you have help there!!!
I can't even imagine the hell you are in. Wish you were here with me and my little boat family.
Welcome mesquite! Yup, nothing like orifice sounds to really make you appreciate living alone!
Keep venting because it really works.
Cuz! what was that joke about the old lady and the silent gas!!
Hope cuzMike is feeling better. Is there any news?
The boat is buttoned up and as ready as we can make it for the rain. The place I left a few weeks ago just had a powerful microburst with fierce winds but I don't know if there was any damage yet. Hope not.
Pam! how are you coping with your new information?
Meanwhile! how are you doing? How's the foot?
Kuli! how is your friend doing?
Mame! wassup?
sharynmarie!
Cat! check in if you can and let us know how you are feeling!
Everybody!
ok, going to bed. I think the rain may come in the night. Supposed to be a lot so it's a good thing this is a boat.
lovbob
Hi everybody. On my way to bed but wanted to check in. Mom is in the hospital. She is dehydrated, constipated and her white blood count is up and they don't know why. They put in a cath and got a urine sample and said it looks good so they think the UTI is gone... So, now to figure out if it is just the dehydration making her wbc higher or some other infection. Took a ton of blood so we will know more tomorrow. My sis is staying with her tonight and I will go back in the morning. She was much better even after one bag of IV fluids! I told hubby she was constipated and that I hope they get that cleared up before she comes back home...haha...he said he knew she was full of sh*t-so I told her what he said before I left her with sis and she laughed and laughed! She hasn't smiled in days! We thought she was dyin last night! Scary. Scratch off another life for that cat. We are up to about 39! Gnight all! Mame
A fart is a pleasant thing...
It gives the belly ease...
It warms the bed in winter...
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet...
A fart can be loud...
Some leave a powerful...
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short...
Or a fart can be long...
Some farts have been known...
To sound like a song.....
A fart can create...
A most curious medley...
A fart can be harmless...
Or silent...and deadly.
A fart might not smell...
While others are vile...
A fart may pass quickly...
Or linger a while...
A fart can occur...
In a number of places...
And leave everyone there...
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie...
To small elevators...
A fart will find all of...
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad...
Is simply not true...
We must never forget...
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye...right?
Why not send this on to other old farts
And bring a smile...or...a tear to them!
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find onel
'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]
Try this out:
Stop at your pharmacy and go to the
Thermometer section and purchase
A rectal thermometer made by
Johnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand..
When you get home, lock your
Doors, draw the curtains and
Disconnect the phone so
You will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable
Clothing and sit in your favorite
Chair. Open the package and
Remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table
Or a surface so that it will not
Become chipped or broken
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from
The box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small
Print there is this statement:
"Every Rectal Thermometer
Made by Johnson & Johnson
Is personally tested
And then sanitized."
Now, close your eyes and repeat
Out loud five times,' I am so glad
I do not work in the thermometer
Quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.'
HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER,
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE
WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A
PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!
If you haven't got a smile on your face
And laughter in your heart...
Maybe you should go and work
For Johnson and Johnson!
Enjoy life now - It has an expiration date!
The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "I have some really great news!" I said,
"Great, tell me why you're so happy."
She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!
I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!"
Then she said, "There's more." I asked,
"What do you mean 'more?"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said....
(You're going to love this!)
"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Walmart and they actually had a
home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!"
OK, NOW I am going to bed.
Who's going to get boat time?
lovbob
It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow...
Gotch ya
Foot is doing better, thanks for asking Bobbi.
Sorry, I've just been lurking. Have to get to bed, take care everyone.
Try to get some rest and relaxation a bit while you can, hard to but is a break for you...idk, i could never relax when ma was in hospital. sounds like a good idea tho....
Bob stay safe n dry or........ get hammered n bodysurf at midnite like we did in Barbados, hahaha!
Oh I love the sound of the birds round here, all the morning chirps of such variety...I heard turkeys up on the hill couple months ago, that was a first! I
in wet months the frogs are in the ditch behind me nite n morn serenading, I enjoy them too, it is pretty, there must be hundreds out there!!!
don't take the time to sit n have coffee listening anymore but just open windows and enjoy! the deer will come down for the apples too in certain seasons which must be coming up as apples are plenty n growing, my ALz moment..hehehee!!! Ziggy found a fawn skull n leg when he was a pup I caught him trying to bury skull on one of his escapes...i am pretty sure a cougar got it as the fur n more bones were in a corner covered in leaves n debris....wildlife officer sed cougars corner their prey n bury like that and fence was broken...that was skeery for a while or maybe dogs idk i couldn't see my dogs doing that but a stray??....Nature beautiful but cruel!!! Oh ya the sinkhole has become a snake pit, contractor told me, well least a couple, lol, wonder what they living on down there, bugs? idk....critters of all kind don't bother me less they making a racket, or mess, lol!
yup my life is still a mess but i am happy and doing the best i can to get things taken care of lil by lil gonna take a while....i no longer feel like i need a change or break, i love spending every minute with mom as there may not be as many as i thought, and just doing few things everyday to move forward.... i am not feeling like i am missing out on life anymore... i chose this life and i mine as well make the best of my choice.... i literally could walk away at any point but i would not...I have recently eliminated people that were making me feel bad...and i don't feel like i am missing anything or one.....funny i saw a FB quote last week that sed "i am not depressed, i am just surrounded by ass*hole*s" I laffed so hard, I so got it not the only reason but life is nice even if i have less friends today than months ago...
Sure miss my Wanda/mom. Her services are coming Saturday! I want to go visit my BFF soon now mom is stabilizing, that will be nice, maybe next weekend idk...
Sweet dreams y'all, saying a prayer for everyone tonite!!!!
Luv,
Juju
An elderly woman went to her DR with a nagging problem....
She tells the doc, I have been passing silent gas at an alarming rate.
In the grocery store, in church, at home, everywhere doc, Silent gas!!!
As a matter of fact doc I have passed silent gas as I sit here, several times.
The doc looks at her, pauses, contemplates the situation and begins...the first thing we will do is.....get your hearing aids adjusted !
Amazing Caramel Sauce
Alright everyone, this recipe is too good to keep to myself!
I love a tablespoon of this added to my coffee and nothing more,
or on ice cream, or for dipping apples, the possibliites are endless!
Anyone can make this: Recipe yields 1 1/2 cups (although I usually double it but its just as easy to only make a half batch)
1 cup packed brown suger (I use light brown or golden)
1/2 cup heavy cream
4 tablespoons butter
Pinch of sea salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Melt butter in pot, mix in brown sugar, cream and salt.
Cook over medium-low heat and whisk gently
for about 7 minutes or longer if you doubled.
I remove the pot from the heat, add vanilla and return to
cook for another minute or so to thicken a bit more.
Take it off the stove and pour into a jar then pop it into the
fridge and VOILA you're done!
Hey, jujubean, Pam, and mesquite: wonderful new Crew! WhooHoo!
Kuli, praying for your friend. Captain, so good to see you renewed:) xo
Jen, always thinking of you. Where 's Deef? Sending good vibes to her.
Mame, prayers for your Mom; it's always something. xo
SharynMarie--I know you! xo Meanwhile, Indigo and furry friends, xo:)
Cattails, in my prayers and loving daily thoughts, xo
Diane, xo and all Crew, old and new.
Lurking in low tide. Never far from dock. {{{Big Hugs}}}
Lildeb~Yes midget loves people and you are right on about pets relieving stress. My plan is to have midget trained after our vaca in Sept. I want to use her to help the other residents but she needs to be trained not to jump on people.... elderly can bruise or get skin tears so easily.
Mame~So sorry about your mother!! It must have been very scary thinking she was dying. I am glad to hear she is responding to treatment. Keep us posted. Hugs!!
Bobbie~Just stay dry...you, hubby and the cat. Sounds like you got everything under control!
We have a bird here that sings all night long. Don't know what it is but it carries on all night. It doesn't bother me....I hear it because I wake up several times during the night. Someone told me it's a mockingbird...who knows.
Christina~ A big hello to you!!
I am off tomorrow for my brother's mil's service. My sil's family is not religious so it will be a graveside service with a reception at their home afterward. It has been a rough year for my brother and sil...so many losses. I hope now that my sil can grieve for her son and her mother. Their retirement party has been postponed. Enjoy the weekend however you can with all the caregiving, grab some moments of peace and if you have the chance to let your hair down (if you have hair, LOL!), grab it with both hands and laugh!!
Sad weekend for us too....Wanda's service will be hard. I am so irritated with her family LInda her daughter called me late last nite and the SIL is up to something shady it appears with the estate and will...Poor LInda is being taken advantage of and there is not much I can do to help her. The brother n SIL couldn't be bothered with details till their vacation was over then came in and changed the time of service this week (and went home hours away, not a care ) after announcements were made, without even consulting Linda. Linda had to call everyone and get the word out, hopefully it spread, or they will miss the darn service. Now sil is being deceitful and something is very fishy in my mind. IDK what to say or do besides get an attorney to check things out...but if I didn't mention it Linda has some kind of learning disability and has a real difficult time talking and reading n writing as well an attorney is way beyond her grasp, I could just tell when I mentioned it....I am sure they are walking all over her. I am so sad, literally heartbroken, to see this happen to such a nice sweet person who has lived next to and been thick with her mother all her life! She takes solice in "she has mom with her" the urn etc,,,,it is sad tho none the less I wish I could do more but I got my hands full. I did offer to get the Real estate agent to give us an rough estimate of the value of her moms house as I am sure this SIL is not truthful on that subject, and I am going to see her today anyway.
Ironically They did find someone to come out and sit with ma, so I can get out for errands, she will come today. the new caregiver I hired will be a work in progress as she is not real experienced hands on care but has a wonderful vibe and work ethic, I can tell !!! So she will start just cleaning and whatever she can to support me..and mammasit if I have to leave, not a whole lot of the hands on dirty work till we both feel comfortable with it...but sure be nice to get anykind of help dishes, floors, bathrooms, laundry etc...anything helps.
Well I went on n on again.....sorry
Hang in there everyone, take it day by day!!!! try to smile/laugh about something today!
Luv Juju
"gurple gurple GURPLE GURRPLE" yep...basement drain backing up...and the seal on the basement toilet is leaking so that is probably broken now and the toilet will need to be taken off re sealed $$$$$$$etc....great, swell, lovely and of course it is all my fault...waiting to Roto Rooter and hoping fp is gone before they come, mom worried about getting him out and a truck in drive way...does any of that really matter?...Just shoot me already...Errands maybe later today. whatever, why care nothing ever goes well. well for long anyhow...Good weekend everyone, hope it is saner where you are...
Boat Time for me please, if i have to steal a credit card and run away... Jen
Well that story is to say, Maybe I should come get ya, JEN, probably not too far and take a trip to the ocean or Columbia River Gorge, want to see! !!! Give Ma n ol FP a " friendly" gesture on the way out, lol!!! We are needing a crab trip soon as ma is good to travel again!!! Months end in "r" are best loot but may not be able to wait! Crab is good food! I got bout 40 nice ones on last crab/campout last September!!!
I just have to say you all are amazing strong supportive wonderful people!
Give yourself a pat on the back!!!!
Hugs to you all.
Stay amazing as you are and keep on trucking!!!
Sincerely!!!!
Juju
luvCuz
The graveside service was really great. It turns out sil's mother was a Christian so the service followed with psalm 23. My sil's dil (married to sil's son who passed on May 9) presented my sil with the ashes of her son today. It was very heartfelt gesture that brought everyone to tears. She said they could share him because that is what he would have wanted.
i am worn out so I will catch up with everyone later. Hugs to all!!
Just to regain my pride and self worth, I vow to post positive or at least humorous stuff from now on. So, if you hear of a woman in So Cal who snapped and beat her sister to death with her own disgusting, crap covered dog, it's probably me.
I whine too much too....I start typing a short hello it turns into a book, lol. I need to work on that. I will have that tune in my head now!
This week Is "Graffiti week" here. All the old classic n muscle cars are out n about yesterday on my trip to town. That was very cool to see so many on the road everywhere up in the "city". They put on events and shows in all the different communities around the county, at different times. I believe there is "show n shine" here in our little city park today. Some really cool cars I saw yesterday, some I have no idea what they were...long n lean for sure.
Well the big "D" has returned with a vengeance, was a rough evening n night so we may miss Wanda's service or go and just have to leave if she has an explosion. I am wondering now if it is these new protein shakes, milk based, I put her on. I will try soy or almond milk, I think. idk.....got her drinking some Gatorade to rehydrate...otherwise she is fine, good appetite and no complaints of stomach ache or anything so I am kinda puzzled.
Other than that we plan to make the best of the weekend, and maybe go see some of these cars today on way to service, if we do make it there. That will really bother me, if I cant make it to Wanda's service. I will call a couple peeps to see if they would stay with her, I doubt it on short notice and Saturday...it is fun/river day around here! fingers crossed!!
And I just have to say you all write so eloquently and thoughtfully...that is a gift in itself...to be proud of!!! Something for me to aspire to.
Hoping everyone is coping ok...it is rough life to live, you are all stars for doing all you do!
Peace,
Juju