Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Hi Everyone: Lot's of posts and I need time to catch up. Meanwhile, I did read yours. Put an ez up in her front yard and she can put her stuff out there and have a Sanford and Son's sale.

Ok, update on the continuing saga of the my friend, maggie the breast tumor. Thought I would name her. By this time, I hope Maggie is completely out of my body and resting comfortably in a lab for processing.

So, pre-op was not as bad as I imagined it would be. It wasn't as bad as the original biopsy. They didn't have to squish me black and blue because they had put a chip in my breast to mark the spot of the previous biopsy. The lanocane stings when they deaden the tissue, but inserting the wires was not so bad. At the end they bombarded me with lanocane....sting like crazy....and then injected the radioactive stuff that is supposed to really sting. It didn't hurt that much at all, probably because of all the lanocane. Also, I was pretty zoned out on Ativan. I didn't sleep at all the night before and was so darn tired, I think really emotionally tired, plus just regular tired.

Everything went well. Woke up in recovery, stayed for a while and then on to second recovery station. We got home around 6pm. I hung out until 9pm and then went to bed and slept like a rock. They sent me home with percoset, but I had some vicodan from my root canal and took one of those instead. Put some Advil on the bedside table, but didn't need it.

I've been good all day. Sore, but that is different than pain. Tomorrow I can take a shower. Yeah.

My surgeon called me after we got home. She told me that she had removed the area in question and the lab had reviewed it. (This is done while I am still under) The lab felt there was still some tissue that needed to be removed to give us the clean margins required, so she removed more tissue. I'm hoping that we have all we need now or we will have to go back and do more. I'm optimistic that we are good as these folks are specialists and only do breast cancer.

I will get some results later next week. I don't remember if I told you that my suegeon will be gone next week. We agreed that she will post the pathology results on my online chart and I can read them there. She will personally put some notes along side and I can email her with more questions if need be. It's nice of her to do that while on vacation. I will meet with her on August 19th to review everything again and have a meeting with the medical oncologist right afterward.

So we shall see what comes of all this and what is the next step in the process.

Hugs to all of you and I'll read up here on the posts as soon as possible.

Sending love and white light.

Cattails.

If her hair was clean, maybe have a good gross laugh about this and figure you will have an interesting story to share one day? Be glad she didn't mistake it for toilet paper.

Cat - Will continue prayers for good news for you. Sounds good so far!! Hugs ~ Kuli

So glad to hear the surgery went well, Cat. Hoping for good results.
Juju, hope you get to go home soon.
Jen, are you hanging in there? Miss you.
Everyone have a good weekend.

Still got you on the prayer list Cat. Glad you are doing OK. Hugs your way.
lovCuz

Cat~Glad to hear things went well and you are doing ok. Hugs to you and still praying.

Not much going on just working, visiting with mom and keeping up with things here at home.

Good Morning All: My brother called me from Ala n was talking about a new Chinese’s restaurant that he was at n I asked him where, so he’s giving me detail so I tell him to go ahead n order me a diet coke n I was on my way! I luv Chinese food. When I got there, he n his girlfriend had already eaten. Like WTF! Come to find out he was only telling me about the place yet normally when he calls about a place he want to meet up. Oh well, he paid for my lunch n we got to talk a little while before he had to go back to work. I did go off on him on a conversation that he was talking about making a trip to Fl but he goes for other reason n I was actually trying to plan to go myself. However, he will work all that day Friday n leave at night then return back on Sunday. I on the other hand like to spend time with my family n relax n not just drive down n run back home. He tells me that, “some people have to work for a living.” Yep, that was the ticker that set my ass off! I let him have it in full force!!! Anyway, everything calmed down n we were all back to r normal self. Of course, who is normal in this world anymore? Lol Anyway, I may not get to go on the 30th anyway due to the caregiver place may take that day off due to the holiday.
Tsoto, I hear ya loud n clear on the poop deal. Ug!
Juju, it does seem that some dr’s like to nickel n dime u to death. I do hope it is for the best interest in this case n that u find out something that will help.
Meanwhile, u poor thing n I remember that show too. I have two pack rats n r house. Let’s just say the apple don’t fall far from the tree n they will keep anything! I have to sneak out the trash between the two of them. It like I am the Trash Bandit!
Cat, sound like it went pretty well n when they get extra tissue normally u shouldn’t have to go back n do it all over again. That online posting I guess can be seen good n bad. Bad that u have to find out online. Yet, good if the result r good n they will be great! That way u won’t have to worry so long until the dr get back. It just seems to me the ‘unknowing’ is what bother me the most. This way u will know n U R going to Ace this sucker because Maggie has left the building! Okay the booby. : )
Kuli, Jen, Bobbie, cuz, Sharyn n Book wherever u r, I hope y’all have a good weekend. I feel like I am still missing a few on here? I didn’t do it intentionally, got mil breakfast n med done, load of clothes going n need to cut the back yard at this house before it gets too hot. Everyone have a good weekend.

This is horrific and why I do what I do!!! Maybe we should move to Hawaii!

Well the link was removed from my post
"this is why I do what I do"
but you can find the story at CBS evening news website...a study on nursing homes quality rating and abuse in them!!
It is why I keep mom at home with me..it is why I do what I do..horrific treatment of those who cannot speak up or fend for themselves!

I am doing the ALZ Assn walk for the cure...please visit this site and donate a couple bucks to help in this effort we would like to have a decent showing this year "https://act.alz.org/site/Donation2?idb=4864333&df_id=16186&FR_ID=3848&PROXY_ID=6727984&PROXY_TYPE=20&16186.donation=form1&JServSessionIdr004=28xtipufo1.app206b&s_subsrc=bfgetwordout&s_src=boundlessfundraising"

Just a hello and a happy Sunday to the thread that saved my life!!
Hope you all are doing well...i love you more that i can ever say

We had a wicked nasty storm scared the patooty outta me. Thunder like i have never heard shook building and rattled windows...seriously thought they were gonna break. Not good for the hole in the roof off to check on the house and how it fared, with stuff from construction in yard and roof etc...probably a soaking mess in bathroom but already a mess in their on floor so anyway

Have a great day as possible Happy Sunday and hang in there!!!

Peace out,
Juju

Juju, hope you and the house weathered the storm.
Busy Sunday here. Mowed the grass, cleaned house, canned tomatoes and apples. Now I'm too wound up to go to bed.

Thanks M...ya i had a tarp over the leak but when adjuster came out we peeled it back to look at area and i did not even occur to me till storm was in full rage!!
I am up now too, had a pina colada earlier like 6ish and it knocked me out now i am wide awake, eerrrrrr!! I have wanted to make jam or can some of these blackberrys abundant everywhere here...i have never done but ma was amazing at all that stuff...we had peach n apricot tree and she canned p. and made Amazing A. jam. I wish i had the time for that and knowledge moreso!
Well midnite snak since she/we awake now and get momma to bed.
Have a great week y'all!!

Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to
share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids. This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read Catatonics and High Colonics
- no go. Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives - thumbs down again.
Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good. Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again! So they tried Nuts and Butts -
no way. Freaks and Cheeks - still no good. Loons and Moons - forget it. Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends. Everybody loved it

Sick horse. Omaha has a belly ache. Poured a bottle of malox down him, now have to spell sis in walking him around. May be a long night.

my head is going to explode, moms home health bather left her unattended to get clothes and supplies and she went over backward in the tub...bruised her arm bad and as a lot of her other stuff wont be till tomoro till I hear and see the pain and bruising, she landed her head and shoulders smacking the tub pretty hard I heard it from other room. I cant believe this shit, she is a toothpicks and could have fractured a shoulder or god knows what.... they are sending RN in am to evaluate her. she seems ok for now but tomoro will tell she did cryout when I readjusted her in the chair ( under arms) I just don't know what else can go wrong here but trying to stay positive that she is ok and nothing broken or fractured. today I got chart notes from Ortho last week and that sent me into a state of livid I have not felt in a while... I just don't know where to turn to get proper care for her....and even the GP chart notes....it is we on different planets

I am going to flip out! literally if she cant get quality and dignified care!

PEace out my boat of hope!
Juju

Whats he got something stuck that doesn't want out yet?

Juju can you file charges against the health bather or that is not an option.

Where did everyone go?

cuz, I just don't know...home health has been my only support so far, I do not wish to burn my last bridge of sane advice with momma care...but I am beside myself again this morning. They are proffessionals, should have gathered everything first and then started bath. previously I had been preparing it all for her the morning of so not to be running round last minute etc...but we are off in our routine here didn't even realize I hadn't prepped everything for her, she was used to that but in hindsight that Is her job....I don't know what to do about it as I need them....I would love to hold someone accountable for such an error tho, I have bigger fish to fry tho with the MD's and SSvc that have put us in this situation in the beginning. I am venting again and just wish for it to end....the bad stuff as I do not like being a nag and negative it goes against my morals but I can find no other way to cope with this relentless preventable issue after issue....idk just ignore me, lol!!!

Lildeb, I think I drove everyone crazy/away or that is my "its all about me mind working its twisted magic" I just don't like this me, I want the happy and hopeful me to win this battle....

Well boatcrew wherever you are, Love and peace to you all, you are my angels!

Juju

Oh Juju I read your post and it made me cry, your poor mother. I hope nothing is broken. Give her a hug and the aide a kick in the arse.

Why does mom reach for soiled diapers? She has to touch them no matter if it's urine or BM. This is gross! Anyone else dealing with this? Moms mind is sharp as a tack! Why does she have to "feel" for herself when I've told her she's wet? And the BM you can see with your eyes so that really grosses me out!

That used to happen with momma...she used to always have to see if she is wet even I told her she would have to touch it then would not believe me as the waterproof or one way liner thing would wick the moisture away from surface..she never did it with a BM as you pointed out visible! My thought is that she/they do not comprehend or accept that they are incontentent on some level, idk.... Very Gross... I am blessed that she does not find her poop a source of entertainment or art, yet!!! she will spit and smear food or mucous but no poop so far...knock on wood....she had put her hand in it unawarely couple times when a mess is had!

I hope she may get past that I don't know what else to offer other than ick I feel for ya that would totally gross me out...my BFF nana used to eat it bbbaaarrrfffffss!!!

Juju, I agree with Assandache. This is part of what this site is all about, expression your feelings so don't feel bad. Besides, I would be pretty f-ing mad if that had happen to my mil! I don’t understand why she didn’t ask for help from you? I too try to have everything ready for the bath day but sometimes we have so much to do n not to mention a little break just to breathe every now n then. Hopefully your mom will be alright n it’s just a bruise n nothing broken or ruptured. Of course, bruises can be real painful too. I would be going out of my mind if all that happen too. Vent away girl!
Cuz, at least they finally agreed on the name. I kind of like some of the other ones. My stomach dr has on his card, “The Gut and Butt Dr.” I like to fell out when I read it but so true. If u think about it, U just gotta have a sense of humor. I hope u r doing well?
Meanwhile, Do u know what may have caused him to get a belly ache? I know the feeling of being up late n walking a horse to keep them from laying down n twisting their intestines. Ours would get it if they dropped some of their feed on the ground on the dirt n start eating it. I hope Omaha gets to feeling better soon.
Used2bhapi, not sure why they do that or maybe when u mention she wet she just got to double check? At least she not grabbing turds out of the toilet bowl n squishing them between her fingers n in her fingernails to let me know that she is not constipated. My mil is not on diapers yet for she can still get around a bit on her own. Lord help me when that time comes. Can u just let her know that u r going to change her n not mention the poo or pee n see what happens? Hang in there n good luck. Oops! Go knock on some wood. : )
Ladydee, Bobbie Cat, where r u gals? I hope everyone is alright n just taking a break or getting some much needed rest.

Well RN n I think mom is ok, no apparent additional pain or bruising or any symptoms. I did express my displeasure with bather turning her back on ma, they agreed was wrong but im tired of fighting everyone n we dodged a bullet with that one! so will let it go!
Peace and love to my very special crew!
Juju
Peace,
Juju

Juju, so sorry about your Mom. She sounds so frail, I think I would be afraid to get her out of bed. Don't know how you manage so much.
Omaha was better pretty quick after the malox. Seems fine today. Don't know what precipitated the colic. Suspect it is his teeth. He is getting his 4 year old and his 5 year old teeth all at once.

M-glad Omaha got better, I meant to ask how was doing, that cracked me up, Maalox...but I am no horse person, you know what I your doing!!
Thanks for the support.

Good Morning Crew,

lildeb, we are all still here, just crazy with this and that.

The Dockmaster and his wife have returned so we don't have to run the marina anymore. It was an interesting week and a half.
The owner is one of those who thinks that everyone should cater to him without him even saying thank you for efforts put forth. He is confused by the Boat Angel and me since we are not on his payroll and are not interested in listening to his bs. We only ran the dock for the dockmaster and his wife who are true sweethearts and had to be away for family drama.

Speaking of family drama, you guys have been through the wringer here! I have read all the posts but the details are swimming around between names.

Cat! How are you making out after the procedure? Did you look into any of the information that I posted? How are you feeling?

Cuz! Odds and Ends, now that works. How is Mike and everyone doing?

Jen! Where are you girl? Please post and let us know that you are ok. We are all worried sick.

I got an email from Deef last night and she is in the aftermath of caregiving where the insanity of the last 5 years catches up with you and you realize that you are empty.

Ted Update: Ted has Made It. After all of the Hell he went through with caregiving and his siblings, he has just arrived in his new home. He called me while waiting for a stromboli in his new little town where he is a scholarship student in his chosen field.
His future is bright and he is happy. Two years ago he was suicidal and overwhelmed with the dementia caregiving for his mom and bewildered with the criminal treatment he was getting from his sibs.
The take away for all of us is that there is a life after caregiving and we have to know that 'this too will pass' and carry on.

Juju! You are dealing with way too much but of course you already know that. Keep venting and griping and writing it out.
I caught that link before it was removed and watched that CBS story. It is a crime and all I can say is that there are good places but it is incumbent on the family to make sure. Key is caregiver to patient ratio. 3 to 1 is good. Also, watch out for places that take anyone to be a caregiver. One of the things that was going on in NJ is that they would arrest someone on a drug charge, put them through employment training without drug counseling and 6 weeks later a 'dry' addict (look it up-dangerous condition) would be caring for grandma. Now add the stress of a dementia patient and you have classic elder abuse and worse. Terrible.

When I got mom a good place in Los Angeles I found a board and care home that had a 3 to 1 ratio and the women who were caregivers were Mongolian. Their culture is to revere the elderly and my mom was cared for well even though she could be difficult (as any dementia patient can be). I had to place her because the stress of caregiving was killing me. This thread has all of that written out in the 27,000+ posts.
My survival instincts won out and I had to accept that it was going to be her or me. Just is.
The bad situation in NJ was one of the reasons I moved us to my apartment in CA because I knew that I would find better care options. Sadly, better care options are not available in most of this country and caregivers are terrified to place parents because of the horrors portrayed in the piece that Juju pointed us to.
Mom was only in respite for 10 weeks and I needed that in order to live. Fair is fair.

Meanwhile! Glad that horse is feeling better and how are you and Indio? How's the foot feeling?

OK, I know I have more shout outs but have to go to Home Depot for some boat materials before it gets too stupid hot. Heat Index was 112 degrees yesterday.

On the lighter side, I finally shaved my legs. Only have about 15 hairs between the two but they tickle me when the wind blows...... I know you guys just had to hear that one.

Jen! Not kidding!! Please check in even though you are too shot out to write much.
Jen, thinkoftheboatthinkoftheboat....... It will end and you will survive this. You can do it. You have us to gripe to and cry to. One day you and me and maybe Deef and who knows else will sit in the big old cockpit of this trawler and laugh ourselves silly about sh!t that has nothing to do with old people and their crap. I swear Jen.

Love you guys way more than you'll ever know.

lovbob

Sure hope Deef gets to feeling better. It takes awhile, that is for sure. Jen, we are all worried.
I have been hiking up the back pasture (very steep), last 2 days. The dog loves getting to go with me. Haven't been able to do that since last April. Leg cramps last night, but foot was fine.

My girlfriend and I are caring for Mom. Yeah, she's entering the gross stage. I'm thinking while I drink red wine why in college my professors wasted time with stuff like Freud making a boy scared of fuzzy things? It would have been more relevant to examine why there is so much enjoyment/concern about bodily functions among the elderly. Mom likes to talk often about her kitten watching her pee. If I had a dollar for everytime one of us said "I can't take it anymore" I'd be rich. When I'm in her shoes, I swear I'm paying an inept aide to kill me. Son, just bring this old woman some Heroin Okay? My luck I'd survive and find I painted my living space w/ poop and killed the inapt aide.