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Lildeb~The Rim Fire in California is a good 2 hour drive from us. We live in the flatlands, Central Valley so it won't effect us personally. Still a lot of destruction going on. Thank you for your concerns.
Wow everybody! OK. I am still here. Thanks for the love.
Was sick the last day and a half so that's why it's taken me so long to respond to the posts. Apparently I can't eat 2 bowls of Raisin Bran, a beef and mixed vegetable Chinese combo lunch with pork fried rice, 3 handfuls of Honey Roasted Peanuts, a huge baked potato and a Dairy Queen chocolate milkshake in one day. Had the Intestinal Turmoils. TMI to be sure but hey, they're my Intestines.
Feel better today and am going out for Mexican...
It is so good to catch up with everybody's situation and thanks for the hugs you guys.
Deef!! so good to see from you. Thank you for writing about your time with your mom. I have to admit that it took me until today to read it because I knew that it would be a heartbreaker. You are very brave and loving and your experience benefits all of us. Thank you again.
Juju! how goes it with mom and the construction?
Austin! what is the news with your social life? Thanks for the kind words. They mean a lot to me and I truly appreciate it.
Kuli! Good posts and yes we try to keep it sane and sometimes it just gets away. Oh well. Doing our best.
SharynMarie! Love the Central Valley and all the good things that grow there. I am in the southeast right now and am still amazed at how many vegetables and fruits are here from California. Hope your daughter makes out ok with that fire near her house.
Jen! Thanks for the hug and I am so glad that you are making progress. What they have done to you is wrong wrong wrong and I hope it is over soon and you can get your life back. Wrong. Have you tried Voodoo? Kidding. Not. Glad the cyst is gone and had to laugh about taping the bee inside your journal. At last! Someone who understands a journal!!
Mame! Thanks for the hug and I am happy you had a great time in Cape Cod. What a wonderful place. Of course I am going to say that because there are boats there! I think that you are right on about Comfort Care. You are experiencing the sadness of knowing that the end is in sight and that there is really nothing you can do to make it better even though this phase could last for months and months. It probably feels like a loss of hope. This is what most of us as caregivers deal with because we know that we are literally loving someone to death. The grieving takes place before, during and after and all you can really do is let it wash over you and recede like the tides. Writing out the feelings really works so keep on venting and know that you are not alone with those feelings. You are a young woman Mame and if you give yourself a chance you will be able to recover what you miss about life. Love you sister.
lildeb! omg with your son and his wife! You gave good advice with the lay down and hold each other and breathe. I hope they listen to you. PTSD from military service says it all. Those poor soldiers and their families and what they deal with.
Cuz! Love ya cuz.
Meanwhile! How is Indio and the ranch? I know that we all love hearing your horse stories and views of life from the ranch. so cool.
LoonyToons! ya, impacted and then a brown toothbrush. Boy, that's hard to beat on the Gross-O-Meter. Popped it right into the red zone.
What's up with people going 'anonymous'? Just noticed that loonytunes was anon and of course we know of others in the past who have gone anon. No biggie, just thought I would ask.
OK, I know that I need to holler at everybody but we are running the dock again so have to scoot to change places with a sailboat and a catamaran while we are at slack tide.
Love you guys more than you know and I will continue to contribute to this thread and I hope that you guys do too. Thanks for all of the support you guys have given to me since the beginning. thinkoftheboatthinkoftheboat.... it's real!
I don't know what happened to LoonyToons, I noticed the anon too. Bobbie~My little city is surrounded with Almond growers. Not like it was when I was growing up but still a lot of produce growing in the Central Valley. My daughter lives a good 2 hours drive from the fire in Idaho near Sun Valley. Lildeb~My niece and her husband are divorcing too. Her husband was sent to Iraq 3 times. PTSD and other issues. He won't get help because he is still in the military and is afraid if he gets help they will discharge him and he only has 5 years to go before retiring. A tough situation. Meanwhile~Glad your vacation was restful. I can't wait for mine next month. Juju~how is your mom? Hope you are getting through the construction. Take care everyone, hope the weekend is restful.
mame thanks for your thoughts and prayers it does mean a lot to me...My situation is nut balls I swear. When I told my counselor at first appt. they had not forwarded my chart so I had to outline my life. She apologized three times...It is so not you fault my life sucks man i know you have to say it but...anyhow she was shocked at the crap I have gone through and now live with and I can understand when people say why can't you Just get the HELL out!? If I could I would have by now...but I can work on it...All I can do is work on it... It is interesting (sad) revealing to hear your life spoken back to you in another person's view...I told bobbie that she said I had gotten my degree in Library technician and was on the cusp of getting out, a part time job etc. and grandma died and he came here and I was told basically to stay here and take care of him. I really do not recall being asked now that I think of it...It just started being what it is next day and here I am almost what 6 years later...This really is sad. but I guess if you are the one everyone dumps on and you don't know anything else. it really takes a shock, a shift, and long hard review, a tragedy or an outside opinion to see how miserable things have become. She said i really seem to be trapped, between the abuse and mistreatment and my fears and habits of putting up with it since forever...Sounds about right. Only I can fix it, no one here gives a shit or would even admit there was a problem...Ah family, what a rip off...
it has crossed my mind bobbie but I don't believe in it, besides it might come back at me, send out more negative energy than i do already. I am truly a drag...but my God I see why...
See the news about local WW2 vet beaten to death here...Delbert Belton? yep. up the street and over... pathetic. nice man gets killed in a paring lot, fp just keeps on livin...I wish God would hurry up and "Find a place for him Up There..." As grandpa refers to it...
Austin sent me a hug and I want to share it with you all. It left me in tears. Go to my wall and see it please. Thank you June for your kind words and your example of happiness to come.
Beautiful Bobbie! Austin-so happy for you! Amazingly as I felt so hopeless (you nailed it Bobbie!) and called to have a Hospice evaluation...mom seems better! She walked all the way out to our living room last night to watch a movie with us! She hasn't been out here in prob 2 months! I don't know what to think! I do think I might be in for another "fooled ya!" Everyone else thought this was it too....we'll see. She is not up yet today...I just never know from day to day how she will be... Roller coaster!!!!! Maybe some one of these days I will bend to it's will and ride it out without fear and anxiety and the need to "fix" it or "know" what will happen next and when... Wouldn't that be wonderful! Thanks for letting me vent all! Mame
Mame, your last thought really hit home for me. I copied down the part about bending to it's will and riding it out without fear and anxiety and need to fix. This is really what I need to do. Sounds so good. I hope we can both do that. Such a simple and sane thought.
It's beautiful here on the Creek with a good wind coming out of the NorthEast trying to push this heavy boat against the dock. We have all of the fenders on with the huge one pinned between a piling and the rubrail midships. They're working. The boat doesn't touch the dock and the hull remains unscratched.
Last night I learned how to make Margaritas. Good Margaritas. There's a couple here who have a big sailboat that is capable of circumnavigating. They've been to a bunch of places and although they haven't been able to circumnavigate the globe as of yet, they still hold out hope. They have learned all kinds of this and that from their varied ports of call and are happy to share.
One of the things they know how to do is make boat drinks. So now I know how to make good Margaritas and next week I am going to learn how to make Pina Coladas.
In a few months I should have a good menu of boat drinks all the way to the ones where you stick the little umbrellas. Already have the little umbrellas.
Anyway, I drank 3 of the Margaritas, made with 100% Agave Tequila so it's good and today I don't have any of the afteraffects of yuk associated with crud booze so I feel pretty good and slept like a box of rocks. Had some goofy dreams though....
OK, thought I would share my boat time with you guys.
Hope you all have as good a day as you can with what you all have to deal with.
hi u all . sorry i havent been on this end . im kinda lost here , cat s meowin mad ? bobbies thinkin about ending this ? austin s life is great with her new man , happy for u austin u desevrve it ! jen has cyst on her head . holy crap ! i am sooo sorry i ve missed out alot . bobbie u can not end this , cuz we look up at you . margaritta ! hell thats the best ! doesnt it bother ur RA ? hope u had a good meal at mexcians ... i am doing better , i clean 2 houses on friday and make me a spending money for ciggys damn it ! my MIL , is good . she healthy as a horse ! but her mind is gone ... jen - i admire you and i think ure wonderful person . kills me to see ure hurt deeply inside , i sure hope going to counsler will help u come out of ur shell . big hugs to u jenny girl .... hope that cyst is flat out gone ! cat - i hope ure well again . i missed out what s going on with you . i saw it on fb , i thought u were talking about ur dog maggie . oh sounds like u named that tumor . ahh no name ,, just a bastard fkin cancer sonofabitch ! if i have cancer that will be named a sonofabitch ! fkin monster inside , mom had cancer and its what killed her . now my aunt has cancer in her bladder . fkin sonofabitch ! i think its margaritta time ...... love u all and i am sorry i didnt keep in touch . sometimes reading agin care breaks my heart and it hurts to see u all suffering and i tel you one thing youre all the best kind hearted caregivers ... god bless u all . i know what its like i took care of dad for 4 yrs . to this day i still miss my pa . i was lost cuz i didnt have anybody to care for , hubby let me have a miniature shuasher . katie jo ,,, shes a blessing in my life , follows me everywhere and sleeps with me . something for me to smile and hug to . shes a blessing ! i will try to keep up here , gross out can not end .. love ya all xoxo
Bobbie that Mexican salsa will cure whatever u ate so I heard.. Plus, is there such a thing as being a “sane care-giver?” lol Glad u r feeling better. Thanks for sharing Austin’s hug n what a wonderful love story. I just read your other post about those yummy Margaritas n Pina colodas, n I also like the Slo gin fizz. They were my favorites many moons ago. I use to love those suckers until it just didn’t agree with my diabetes type 1. let's just say I saw my body while I was laying in the bed. I don’t touch any alcohol anymore! So, drink one for me. Glad u slept like a box of rocks but be careful n make sure you eat good too. Austin, I am so happy for you. It brought happy tears like a fairy tale except this one is real. Sharyn, I hear ya loud n clear when it comes to military. They had tried brain wave shock treatment on my son while he was overseas. I told him to not allow them to do that for the ptsd that if he needed something like that, they need to send him back home to be treated by a counselor. I told him if they don’t listen that I would talk to whoever would listen; the media, the president whatever it took for they supposedly threat him if he didn’t get the shock treatment. I thought that was banned yrs ago. I guess they heard or were listen on the conversation for he didn’t have to do the treatment unless he wanted it done. He didn’t get it done anymore while over their n he won’t ask for help now. It’s a shame crap like that goes on behind closed doors or dust. Jen, it does seem like people n family members tend to take advantage of those like us that r caring n giving. Sometimes, we just got to let them know that we r not their door mat. It is hard sometimes due for the person we r taking care at the time. I can feel your hurt, pain n frustration and its not that simple to just go for it sometimes. Taking little steps at a time along with friends on here for support is a positive step forward toward happiness. I believe that, you have already taken the first step n that is through realization. Plus, u have to admit that it there was some good in being the caregiver, just a little bit? Sending u hugs. Mame, sorry life with mom seems like a roller coaster ride. It seems that all we can do sometimes as a caregiver with a love one with this illness is to vent on the bad days n cherish the good ones. Here hoping u have more good ones with your mom.
Nobody noticed but bobbie got BOAT TIME for being post # 28000. Its been fantastic being able to be here this long. Hopefully we will all be here for the next couple hundred thousand posts. Love ya bobbie and enjoy the boat time girl. luvCuz
Linda, u just hug your little Katie Jo. That the way I feel about my Vera the putty tat. Glad u was able to pop in on us. I try to as well sometimes for so much seems to be going on with all r lives. I hope u r able to come on back n join us again when u get a chance. Onlychild, U r a hoot, join the crazy farms as someone on here would say. ; ) Welcome. Okay, I am so tired n not going get much sleep again here tonight. I had a 42 low blood-sugar wee early n the morning today around 2ish. Treated it n went back to bed. Tonight I have a 60 here at 11pm. The other night it was over 220! Speaking of a roller coaster ride! I think I am going through what is called, “pre-menopause” for I haven’t had a cycle in 3 months. I have been clipped, burned, tied on the other part so no pg going on here with these eggs. Lol. Not sure what a hot flash really is but I stay warm here lately at night no matter what my sugar runs n normally I am the person that is cold at night. I have trouble falling asleep here lately too. Ah!!! Enough of that area, Why didn’t anyone tell me that for me to go on a few day vacation with the hubby that my job was going to triple? I not only have to get r stuff ready n meds ahead but the mil as well. I finally got her packed with clean clothes, soap, hair washing stuff, teeth stuff was a fun ride around the stores about 5, for not all stores carry those Prolygrip strips. The cushion ones just don’t fit no matter how much u trim them to fit her bottom lower teeth. The adhesives would just ooz out n what a freaking mess that was with her! I felt so sorry for her but so freaking frustrated trying to find some. I finally got a grocery store going to try n order some. Yeah, there is a God. At least the strips I can cut one n half to fit the inside of her lower false teetht n just slap a whole one in the top part. ; ) Back to packing for her, I got her a soft teddy bear to cuddle with at night while she at the assistive living. I packed her some mac/cheese, veggie rice that they can microwave for her if she doesn’t like what they have plus it easier for her to chew. Don’t forget her Ensure plus for they have helped her keep the weight on too, a whole 80lbs. Now if I can get my weight back up. Got the forms all filled out n copies of her health insurance n etc… Now just waiting on Hospice to give me a copy of the T.B. test results tomorrow n to see if they will help pay for her night at the Asst. Living. If not, oh well for we need this short break. Oh, got my bro to check on the out n indoor animals while away too. I had to make pictures of what animals r NOT to get out of the house n which one needs his meds. Oh, I also told my bro if he value his life that to not let my Vera-kitty outside or to get into any dog-food or cat-food except, what I have out for her. She the one that has the Ibd n that surgery a month ago. I was surprise that my bro volunteer to take care of the animals so we could get a break. So, hubby n I jump on that one. Now, hopefully, mil will be okay n eat while we r gone. She tends to push her independent by not eating n not knowing that is hurting herself in the process so I am like the Game Warden watching her during eating time. I hate being the bad person. I haven’t told her again about the stay at the Asst. Liv. N us leaving for she was going all off on me the last time. So, not sure when to tell her or just wait the last minute for she will continue to repeat herself n drive me crazy. Sorry so long winded. I hope everyone else can at least get some rest. I will as soon as I get my b/s back up. I am so excited but nervous about mil at the same time.
hey Kinda hope you are doing good, so so here. stitches out tomorrow, lil booger gone...the cyst I mean....;)
lil, one day at a time and I need to remind myself of it and not start catastrophic mulling in my head...
Counselor nice, won't be back in till Monday after Labor Day...thinking of volunteer work to get me out, but balking at it. I'd have to pay bus fare to go work some where and not get paid...I am not sure I am up to that right now...maybe in a bit...I already "owe" fart pants $230.00 for all the co pays and borrowings of this last month...Pathetic. I mean really...Pathetic...
Linda dear heart enjoyed your drive by -love hearing from you-I do not think Bobbie will desert us-we need our Capt'n and all the crew-so check in when you can. I forgot how to cook and never enjoyed it the husband did not appreciate but my new boyfriend loves it and helps and does dishes-his late wife trained him well-he is much neater than me.
Sue him Jen. Figure out what you would have made in your field for however many years and then add punitive damages for the abuse you suffered when you were a child and the abuse you continue to suffer today after all these years of indentured servitude.
Ask your counselor for some attorney names. There has got to be someone who will take this case for a few reasons:
Addresses the 'enslavement' of family members to be caregivers when their options are removed by keeping them from earning a living.
Addresses the secrets kept by family members who sexually abuse children and then continue to live their lives purposely oblivious to the damage they have caused.
Your mom will not be happy but as you understand, she is not right and you are being victimized by her and of course by your abusive grandfather. It has to stop so you can finally live your life and you need resources in order to do that.
Sue him sue him sue him. When, over the course of the 3 plus years that you have known me through this forum, have you ever heard me advise suing?
Hey Linda! Good to see from you and I hope you post more often! We all need each other not just me!
OK, Internet is spotty here on the Creek today so I am going to send this out if I can.
Sue him Jen. Figure out what you would have made in your field for however many years and then add punitive damages for the abuse you suffered when you were a child and the abuse you continue to suffer today after all these years of indentured servitude.
Ask your counselor for some attorney names. There has got to be someone who will take this case for a few reasons:
Addresses the 'enslavement' of family members to be caregivers when their options are removed by keeping them from earning a living.
Addresses the secrets kept by family members who sexually abuse children and then continue to live their lives purposely oblivious to the damage they have caused.
Your mom will not be happy but as you understand, she is not right and you are being victimized by her and of course by your abusive grandfather. It has to stop so you can finally live your life and you need resources in order to do that.
Sue him sue him sue him. When, over the course of the 3 plus years that you have known me through this forum, have you ever heard me advise suing?
Linda! Good to see from you!
Internet has been spotty here so am going to post this before it goes out again.
Juju~where are you...you have been quiet lately, hope everything is ok with you and mom. Lildeb~Yes the military is still not as helpful with PTSD as they say they are. Your upcoming vacation sounds great and I hope you can relax. Jen~I don't know what to say because I don't know what steps you are ready to take. Either way, you are supported and loved here!! Bobbie's advice is great!! Austin~I can not say how happy I am for you!! My friend who also has found love at 73 is just so happy. You deserve it my friend!!
I have been so engrossed in following the Rim Fire only because it is in all the areas of the Sierra's I spend time in. Those of you who are familiar with CA...they have issued advisory evacuations for Pine Crest and Twain Harte because of falling ash. It is 20% contained which sounds small but considering the terrain the fire fighters are dealing with this is good progress.
Working on getting things organized here at home. My son and dil will be here either the 5th or 6th of Sept. I asked for the 7th off so we can have one day together, take him to see mom and a family dinner. I also asked for the 14th and 15th of Sept. off so i can get organized to go to Idaho to see our daughter and sil. Not sure how this will work out taking Midget with us...her barking may be a problem but my daughter said not to worry about it. If worse comes to worse, I will put her in her kennel in the garage at night.
I hope everyone is as well as you can be with all the caregiving...have a good week!!
I have actually considered suing for wages....I suppose if I had the guts to do that I wouldn't be here eh? But it is a thought. Can't imagine the fall out. I am in here on moms computer having just called the SSI lady to give her more pertinent info that will in no way help me get SSI, I mean really! Moms laying looking at a magazine... Who'd I have to be to turn around and say mom I want to be paid...She does most of the work now and I get room and board... I am glad you understand at least.
Been watching the fires here too, hoping for rain but only seems to fall where they don't need it. figures.
Jen~I just want to add that we are all at different places on our journey to being healthy and it does not matter where we are, we are loved and accepted here. You always have a place to come to no matter what is going on...I hope that makes since to you!!
Hello everyone; I have lost my post twice so this is it. I cannot stand liars!!!! Liars have always been my weakness for snapping. I have got to get my little 4'7" ass to be able to calm down when this happens. I take, n take crap but when a person is accusing me just to cover their own ass, that just burns me right off the chain!!! Ah!! Let's just say that the S.W.,from hospice had to do was apologize or not say anything to me but, no... he had to make something up n that just through me off n pis me off too.Don't make me look like a liar. needles to say, everything is back on track for I talk to the manager personally n he apologize twice. Once he came voluntarily In front of her office n on my cell phone too. However, I will never trust him again for being such a liar! I ended up cutting front n back yard of the old house to blow off some more steam. I got to find a way to not let this bother me. It don't bother me when they r lying about something but rather when it involves me for I cannot stand liars much less make it sound like I am the liar! I be damn! I tried the breathing technique n it wasn't working so good ole wear myself out physical work did the trick some. Maybe I need to talk to my dr about up my dose on my prozac for I take a very low dose 10mg but I only weigh about 88lbs. I shouldn't had went off like that in public. He didn't really have to apologize but when he mention the part that I suppose had done that was when I totally flipped out in front of everyone. I was so embarrassed after all was said n done. What do y'all do in public when something similar like this happen to one of you in public? I am normal the good person n take n take but for some reason I cannot hold back if it involves insinuation I am the liar. Not to mention I went off on my bro a wk or so ago stating that some people have to work. I do think I am pre-meno n that may have to do with it some or I am just tired of folks not appreciation me for what I do n I am not a liar! Help for advice is needed here.
Lildeb~Wow!! I have issues too when someone makes me out to be a liar...I haven't figured out a good way to deal with it yet because I go off on them also or I cut them out of my life completely. I hope things calm down for you...You are only 4'7"...Wow!!! I am an amazon woman compared to you, LOL....5'8" @170lb. but don't be fooled, if you came at me the way you did with these folks...I would crumble!! Hugs to you!!
There are times when anger is justified-Jesus got angry at times. I am sure most of the time you are calm- If someone indicates I have lied I could go off on them also-all we can do is try to be calm-there are times we can't-don't beat yourself up about it-we are human.
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OK. I am still here. Thanks for the love.
Was sick the last day and a half so that's why it's taken me so long to respond to the posts.
Apparently I can't eat 2 bowls of Raisin Bran, a beef and mixed vegetable Chinese combo lunch with pork fried rice, 3 handfuls of Honey Roasted Peanuts, a huge baked potato and a Dairy Queen chocolate milkshake in one day.
Had the Intestinal Turmoils.
TMI to be sure but hey, they're my Intestines.
Feel better today and am going out for Mexican...
It is so good to catch up with everybody's situation and thanks for the hugs you guys.
Deef!! so good to see from you. Thank you for writing about your time with your mom. I have to admit that it took me until today to read it because I knew that it would be a heartbreaker. You are very brave and loving and your experience benefits all of us. Thank you again.
Juju! how goes it with mom and the construction?
Austin! what is the news with your social life? Thanks for the kind words. They mean a lot to me and I truly appreciate it.
Kuli! Good posts and yes we try to keep it sane and sometimes it just gets away. Oh well. Doing our best.
SharynMarie! Love the Central Valley and all the good things that grow there. I am in the southeast right now and am still amazed at how many vegetables and fruits are here from California. Hope your daughter makes out ok with that fire near her house.
Jen! Thanks for the hug and I am so glad that you are making progress. What they have done to you is wrong wrong wrong and I hope it is over soon and you can get your life back. Wrong. Have you tried Voodoo? Kidding. Not.
Glad the cyst is gone and had to laugh about taping the bee inside your journal. At last! Someone who understands a journal!!
Mame! Thanks for the hug and I am happy you had a great time in Cape Cod. What a wonderful place. Of course I am going to say that because there are boats there!
I think that you are right on about Comfort Care.
You are experiencing the sadness of knowing that the end is in sight and that there is really nothing you can do to make it better even though this phase could last for months and months. It probably feels like a loss of hope.
This is what most of us as caregivers deal with because we know that we are literally loving someone to death. The grieving takes place before, during and after and all you can really do is let it wash over you and recede like the tides.
Writing out the feelings really works so keep on venting and know that you are not alone with those feelings.
You are a young woman Mame and if you give yourself a chance you will be able to recover what you miss about life. Love you sister.
lildeb! omg with your son and his wife! You gave good advice with the lay down and hold each other and breathe. I hope they listen to you. PTSD from military service says it all. Those poor soldiers and their families and what they deal with.
Cuz! Love ya cuz.
Meanwhile! How is Indio and the ranch? I know that we all love hearing your horse stories and views of life from the ranch. so cool.
LoonyToons! ya, impacted and then a brown toothbrush. Boy, that's hard to beat on the Gross-O-Meter. Popped it right into the red zone.
What's up with people going 'anonymous'? Just noticed that loonytunes was anon and of course we know of others in the past who have gone anon. No biggie, just thought I would ask.
OK, I know that I need to holler at everybody but we are running the dock again so have to scoot to change places with a sailboat and a catamaran while we are at slack tide.
Love you guys more than you know and I will continue to contribute to this thread and I hope that you guys do too. Thanks for all of the support you guys have given to me since the beginning.
thinkoftheboatthinkoftheboat.... it's real!
lovbob
Bobbie~My little city is surrounded with Almond growers. Not like it was when I was growing up but still a lot of produce growing in the Central Valley. My daughter lives a good 2 hours drive from the fire in Idaho near Sun Valley.
Lildeb~My niece and her husband are divorcing too. Her husband was sent to Iraq 3 times. PTSD and other issues. He won't get help because he is still in the military and is afraid if he gets help they will discharge him and he only has 5 years to go before retiring. A tough situation.
Meanwhile~Glad your vacation was restful. I can't wait for mine next month.
Juju~how is your mom? Hope you are getting through the construction.
Take care everyone, hope the weekend is restful.
mame thanks for your thoughts and prayers it does mean a lot to me...My situation is nut balls I swear. When I told my counselor at first appt. they had not forwarded my chart so I had to outline my life. She apologized three times...It is so not you fault my life sucks man i know you have to say it but...anyhow she was shocked at the crap I have gone through and now live with and I can understand when people say why can't you Just get the HELL out!? If I could I would have by now...but I can work on it...All I can do is work on it...
It is interesting (sad) revealing to hear your life spoken back to you in another person's view...I told bobbie that she said I had gotten my degree in Library technician and was on the cusp of getting out, a part time job etc. and grandma died and he came here and I was told basically to stay here and take care of him. I really do not recall being asked now that I think of it...It just started being what it is next day and here I am almost what 6 years later...This really is sad. but I guess if you are the one everyone dumps on and you don't know anything else. it really takes a shock, a shift, and long hard review, a tragedy or an outside opinion to see how miserable things have become.
She said i really seem to be trapped, between the abuse and mistreatment and my fears and habits of putting up with it since forever...Sounds about right. Only I can fix it, no one here gives a shit or would even admit there was a problem...Ah family, what a rip off...
it has crossed my mind bobbie but I don't believe in it, besides it might come back at me, send out more negative energy than i do already. I am truly a drag...but my God I see why...
See the news about local WW2 vet beaten to death here...Delbert Belton? yep. up the street and over... pathetic. nice man gets killed in a paring lot, fp just keeps on livin...I wish God would hurry up and "Find a place for him Up There..." As grandpa refers to it...
Austin sent me a hug and I want to share it with you all. It left me in tears.
Go to my wall and see it please.
Thank you June for your kind words and your example of happiness to come.
lovbob
Austin-so happy for you!
Amazingly as I felt so hopeless (you nailed it Bobbie!) and called to have a Hospice evaluation...mom seems better! She walked all the way out to our living room last night to watch a movie with us! She hasn't been out here in prob 2 months! I don't know what to think! I do think I might be in for another "fooled ya!" Everyone else thought this was it too....we'll see.
She is not up yet today...I just never know from day to day how she will be... Roller coaster!!!!! Maybe some one of these days I will bend to it's will and ride it out without fear and anxiety and the need to "fix" it or "know" what will happen next and when... Wouldn't that be wonderful!
Thanks for letting me vent all! Mame
It's beautiful here on the Creek with a good wind coming out of the NorthEast trying to push this heavy boat against the dock. We have all of the fenders on with the huge one pinned between a piling and the rubrail midships. They're working. The boat doesn't touch the dock and the hull remains unscratched.
Last night I learned how to make Margaritas. Good Margaritas. There's a couple here who have a big sailboat that is capable of circumnavigating. They've been to a bunch of places and although they haven't been able to circumnavigate the globe as of yet, they still hold out hope. They have learned all kinds of this and that from their varied ports of call and are happy to share.
One of the things they know how to do is make boat drinks. So now I know how to make good Margaritas and next week I am going to learn how to make Pina Coladas.
In a few months I should have a good menu of boat drinks all the way to the ones where you stick the little umbrellas. Already have the little umbrellas.
Anyway, I drank 3 of the Margaritas, made with 100% Agave Tequila so it's good and today I don't have any of the afteraffects of yuk associated with crud booze so I feel pretty good and slept like a box of rocks. Had some goofy dreams though....
OK, thought I would share my boat time with you guys.
Hope you all have as good a day as you can with what you all have to deal with.
lovbob
Hey bobbie, deef rip mame cuz lil sharyn cat christina and evreybody else here...have a good week all...Jen
bobbie u can not end this , cuz we look up at you . margaritta ! hell thats the best ! doesnt it bother ur RA ? hope u had a good meal at mexcians ...
i am doing better , i clean 2 houses on friday and make me a spending money for ciggys damn it ! my MIL , is good . she healthy as a horse ! but her mind is gone ...
jen - i admire you and i think ure wonderful person . kills me to see ure hurt deeply inside , i sure hope going to counsler will help u come out of ur shell . big hugs to u jenny girl .... hope that cyst is flat out gone !
cat - i hope ure well again . i missed out what s going on with you . i saw it on fb , i thought u were talking about ur dog maggie . oh sounds like u named that tumor . ahh no name ,, just a bastard fkin cancer sonofabitch ! if i have cancer that will be named a sonofabitch ! fkin monster inside , mom had cancer and its what killed her . now my aunt has cancer in her bladder . fkin sonofabitch !
i think its margaritta time ......
love u all and i am sorry i didnt keep in touch . sometimes reading agin care breaks my heart and it hurts to see u all suffering and i tel you one thing youre all the best kind hearted caregivers ... god bless u all . i know what its like i took care of dad for 4 yrs . to this day i still miss my pa . i was lost cuz i didnt have anybody to care for , hubby let me have a miniature shuasher . katie jo ,,, shes a blessing in my life , follows me everywhere and sleeps with me . something for me to smile and hug to . shes a blessing !
i will try to keep up here , gross out can not end .. love ya all xoxo
Austin, I am so happy for you. It brought happy tears like a fairy tale except this one is real.
Sharyn, I hear ya loud n clear when it comes to military. They had tried brain wave shock treatment on my son while he was overseas. I told him to not allow them to do that for the ptsd that if he needed something like that, they need to send him back home to be treated by a counselor. I told him if they don’t listen that I would talk to whoever would listen; the media, the president whatever it took for they supposedly threat him if he didn’t get the shock treatment. I thought that was banned yrs ago. I guess they heard or were listen on the conversation for he didn’t have to do the treatment unless he wanted it done. He didn’t get it done anymore while over their n he won’t ask for help now. It’s a shame crap like that goes on behind closed doors or dust.
Jen, it does seem like people n family members tend to take advantage of those like us that r caring n giving. Sometimes, we just got to let them know that we r not their door mat. It is hard sometimes due for the person we r taking care at the time. I can feel your hurt, pain n frustration and its not that simple to just go for it sometimes. Taking little steps at a time along with friends on here for support is a positive step forward toward happiness. I believe that, you have already taken the first step n that is through realization. Plus, u have to admit that it there was some good in being the caregiver, just a little bit? Sending u hugs.
Mame, sorry life with mom seems like a roller coaster ride. It seems that all we can do sometimes as a caregiver with a love one with this illness is to vent on the bad days n cherish the good ones. Here hoping u have more good ones with your mom.
couple hundred thousand posts. Love ya bobbie and enjoy the boat time girl.
luvCuz
Onlychild, U r a hoot, join the crazy farms as someone on here would say. ; ) Welcome.
Okay, I am so tired n not going get much sleep again here tonight. I had a 42 low blood-sugar wee early n the morning today around 2ish. Treated it n went back to bed. Tonight I have a 60 here at 11pm. The other night it was over 220! Speaking of a roller coaster ride! I think I am going through what is called, “pre-menopause” for I haven’t had a cycle in 3 months. I have been clipped, burned, tied on the other part so no pg going on here with these eggs. Lol. Not sure what a hot flash really is but I stay warm here lately at night no matter what my sugar runs n normally I am the person that is cold at night. I have trouble falling asleep here lately too. Ah!!!
Enough of that area, Why didn’t anyone tell me that for me to go on a few day vacation with the hubby that my job was going to triple? I not only have to get r stuff ready n meds ahead but the mil as well. I finally got her packed with clean clothes, soap, hair washing stuff, teeth stuff was a fun ride around the stores about 5, for not all stores carry those Prolygrip strips. The cushion ones just don’t fit no matter how much u trim them to fit her bottom lower teeth. The adhesives would just ooz out n what a freaking mess that was with her! I felt so sorry for her but so freaking frustrated trying to find some. I finally got a grocery store going to try n order some. Yeah, there is a God. At least the strips I can cut one n half to fit the inside of her lower false teetht n just slap a whole one in the top part. ; )
Back to packing for her, I got her a soft teddy bear to cuddle with at night while she at the assistive living. I packed her some mac/cheese, veggie rice that they can microwave for her if she doesn’t like what they have plus it easier for her to chew. Don’t forget her Ensure plus for they have helped her keep the weight on too, a whole 80lbs. Now if I can get my weight back up. Got the forms all filled out n copies of her health insurance n etc… Now just waiting on Hospice to give me a copy of the T.B. test results tomorrow n to see if they will help pay for her night at the Asst. Living. If not, oh well for we need this short break. Oh, got my bro to check on the out n indoor animals while away too. I had to make pictures of what animals r NOT to get out of the house n which one needs his meds. Oh, I also told my bro if he value his life that to not let my Vera-kitty outside or to get into any dog-food or cat-food except, what I have out for her. She the one that has the Ibd n that surgery a month ago. I was surprise that my bro volunteer to take care of the animals so we could get a break. So, hubby n I jump on that one. Now, hopefully, mil will be okay n eat while we r gone. She tends to push her independent by not eating n not knowing that is hurting herself in the process so I am like the Game Warden watching her during eating time. I hate being the bad person. I haven’t told her again about the stay at the Asst. Liv. N us leaving for she was going all off on me the last time. So, not sure when to tell her or just wait the last minute for she will continue to repeat herself n drive me crazy. Sorry so long winded. I hope everyone else can at least get some rest. I will as soon as I get my b/s back up. I am so excited but nervous about mil at the same time.
hey Kinda hope you are doing good, so so here. stitches out tomorrow, lil booger gone...the cyst I mean....;)
lil, one day at a time and I need to remind myself of it and not start catastrophic mulling in my head...
Counselor nice, won't be back in till Monday after Labor Day...thinking of volunteer work to get me out, but balking at it. I'd have to pay bus fare to go work some where and not get paid...I am not sure I am up to that right now...maybe in a bit...I already "owe" fart pants $230.00 for all the co pays and borrowings of this last month...Pathetic. I mean really...Pathetic...
Figure out what you would have made in your field for however many years and then add punitive damages for the abuse you suffered when you were a child and the abuse you continue to suffer today after all these years of indentured servitude.
Ask your counselor for some attorney names. There has got to be someone who will take this case for a few reasons:
Addresses the 'enslavement' of family members to be caregivers when their options are removed by keeping them from earning a living.
Addresses the secrets kept by family members who sexually abuse children and then continue to live their lives purposely oblivious to the damage they have caused.
Your mom will not be happy but as you understand, she is not right and you are being victimized by her and of course by your abusive grandfather. It has to stop so you can finally live your life and you need resources in order to do that.
Sue him sue him sue him. When, over the course of the 3 plus years that you have known me through this forum, have you ever heard me advise suing?
Hey Linda! Good to see from you and I hope you post more often! We all need each other not just me!
OK, Internet is spotty here on the Creek today so I am going to send this out if I can.
lovbob
Ask your counselor for some attorney names. There has got to be someone who will take this case for a few reasons:
Addresses the 'enslavement' of family members to be caregivers when their options are removed by keeping them from earning a living.
Addresses the secrets kept by family members who sexually abuse children and then continue to live their lives purposely oblivious to the damage they have caused.
Your mom will not be happy but as you understand, she is not right and you are being victimized by her and of course by your abusive grandfather. It has to stop so you can finally live your life and you need resources in order to do that.
Sue him sue him sue him. When, over the course of the 3 plus years that you have known me through this forum, have you ever heard me advise suing?
Linda! Good to see from you!
Internet has been spotty here so am going to post this before it goes out again.
lovbob
Thanks all,
lovbob
Juju~where are you...you have been quiet lately, hope everything is ok with you and mom.
Lildeb~Yes the military is still not as helpful with PTSD as they say they are. Your upcoming vacation sounds great and I hope you can relax.
Jen~I don't know what to say because I don't know what steps you are ready to take. Either way, you are supported and loved here!! Bobbie's advice is great!!
Austin~I can not say how happy I am for you!! My friend who also has found love at 73 is just so happy. You deserve it my friend!!
I have been so engrossed in following the Rim Fire only because it is in all the areas of the Sierra's I spend time in. Those of you who are familiar with CA...they have issued advisory evacuations for Pine Crest and Twain Harte because of falling ash. It is 20% contained which sounds small but considering the terrain the fire fighters are dealing with this is good progress.
Working on getting things organized here at home. My son and dil will be here either the 5th or 6th of Sept. I asked for the 7th off so we can have one day together, take him to see mom and a family dinner. I also asked for the 14th and 15th of Sept. off so i can get organized to go to Idaho to see our daughter and sil. Not sure how this will work out taking Midget with us...her barking may be a problem but my daughter said not to worry about it. If worse comes to worse, I will put her in her kennel in the garage at night.
I hope everyone is as well as you can be with all the caregiving...have a good week!!
Who'd I have to be to turn around and say mom I want to be paid...She does most of the work now and I get room and board...
I am glad you understand at least.
Been watching the fires here too, hoping for rain but only seems to fall where they don't need it. figures.
I cannot stand liars!!!! Liars have always been my weakness for snapping. I have got to get my little 4'7" ass to be able to calm down when this happens. I take, n take crap but when a person is accusing me just to cover their own ass, that just burns me right off the chain!!! Ah!!
Let's just say that the S.W.,from hospice had to do was apologize or not say anything to me but, no... he had to make something up n that just through me off n pis me off too.Don't make me look like a liar.
needles to say, everything is back on track for I talk to the manager personally n he apologize twice. Once he came voluntarily In front of her office n on my cell phone too. However, I will never trust him again for being such a liar! I ended up cutting front n back yard of the old house to blow off some more steam. I got to find a way to not let this bother me. It don't bother me when they r lying about something but rather when it involves me for I cannot stand liars much less make it sound like I am the liar! I be damn! I tried the breathing technique n it wasn't working so good ole wear myself out physical work did the trick some. Maybe I need to talk to my dr about up my dose on my prozac for I take a very low dose 10mg but I only weigh about 88lbs. I shouldn't had went off like that in public. He didn't really have to apologize but when he mention the part that I suppose had done that was when I totally flipped out in front of everyone. I was so embarrassed after all was said n done.
What do y'all do in public when something similar like this happen to one of you in public? I am normal the good person n take n take but for some reason I cannot hold back if it involves insinuation I am the liar. Not to mention I went off on my bro a wk or so ago stating that some people have to work. I do think I am pre-meno n that may have to do with it some or I am just tired of folks not appreciation me for what I do n I am not a liar! Help for advice is needed here.