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Well today is the day for my sweet boy, I am racked with emotion and havnt been able to focus since I decided I should do this so maybe when it is done I will have closure. It is killing me as he is still a happy purring boy full of spunk..it is the damn bodily fluids and teeth n tumor....last two fixable but the first one is not..I wish his last days were not trapped in this hotel room and he could have been the Romeo the roamer as was his way...he just stares out the window hear and cry's n cry's.....my heart is breaking that I just cant take cleaning up after him anymore, mom's needs are increased so much I just cant do it anymore.....I wish I could just find another solution but I am too stressed now.
I don't know how I will make it thru the day till 4 and then go bury him (least my workers hubby went and dug me a hole yesterday) all alone in 97 deg heat today, lovely! The pain n tears really set in yesterday when I was discussing this plan and he woke up to visit, I couldn't believe I am talking bout his grave as he is walking thru the room to get some love from me...my heart is broken today and forever will miss my boy, 17ys! Please give me the strength to get thru this heavens!
still waiting on the estimate for car and to see if engine is toast or what...
Good news, Our fire is 100% contained finally, still cleaning up
just trying not to hurl myself off a cliff...hopefully this decision action will give me some closure on that issue I have been debating long time now

Hope you all are hanging in there.

Peace,
Juju
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every time I see him today it is like the walking dead...this is torture, but im gonna love him up n feed him good best I can...I wish It was a morning appt....say a prayer for his lil soul today!
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Oh Juju,
so sorry to hear that. He will cross the Rainbow Bridge... so hard to do and I hope you come back and check in and we will be here.

Mame! Hope you are hanging in there. I can't even imagine the stress you are enduring.

Cuz! Man oh man what a trial! Loved the 100MPH goat. Have repeated it.

Jen! Jeeze what buttheads. So sorry you are dealing with people who don't get it.

Sorry I haven't been around. Doing the best I can here. Everything is actually ok but my head still gets stuck now and again.
Glad we're not bombing anyone.

Love you guys and hope everyone does the best they can with what they're dealing with.

lovbob
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Checking in. Will be turning in soon but wanted to see how everyone is first.
Juju?
hope you are there.

lovbob
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juju, thinking of you and hoping there is peace and rest there now....I know this horrible pain you are in...It is so twisting, aching, remember all the good memories when it gets too hard and believe in peace after the pain...Jen
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I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT! But I guess it is done. The three hundred dollars is: "September's Money". Mom will give me; two hundred from fart pants and one hundred from her...You know, OUT OF HER SOCIAL SECURITY!
The break down is...$60.00 for therapy, $15 for bus fare,$ 20 for prescriptions, $20 for OTC meds, $150 for pet vet bills and presc, $20 for Basic Health, and $5 for misc.
You know, I think she was gonna "teach me a lesson" like, show me how "out of control" MY spending is that I couldn't keep to a budget of $100 a month...And she has had to actually look my finances in the face Note:(BEFORE THE HUGE MEDICAL BILLS BEGIN ARRIVING FOR MY HOSPITALIZATIONS, and these will be huge) and she is beginning to realize that telling me to "pay for all my stuff on my own from now on" that yeah Ma, that three hundred dollars isn't SHIT. THROW on top owing you $130, and shit pants $200...So what am I DOING WRONG?
What, am I buying hair dye, make up, gourmet foods, lotto tickets and beer and "living high off the hog", going to movies and shopping for shoes? NO. I have two elderly pets, I go to therapy. I take public transportation and medications so I CAN STAND TO BE HERE!!!!
Happy Tuesday all...Jen the grumble muffin...
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Oh and she picked up a John Denver CD for shit pants at Walmart today....NO! He IS NOT GONNA RUIN JOHN DENVER FOR ME TOO!!!!
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Thank you...was ok yesterday afterward, relieved, but waking up today and that part of my routine missing is heartbreaking, time, time, time....come hurry up and wash this one away!
Have a great day...
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IT is the quiet, ughhh I miss hearing his meows coming round the corner to say hello, and get the dogs fired up, lol...it is too peaceful!
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Oh Juju, I know what you mean and I think everyone here has had to do what you have done. It's another example of being a member in a club you really don't want to have to join.
I can remember with crystal clarity each time I have had to make that decision and all of the moments leading up to and following it. The days after there is nothing to fill the void and we look to the spots where they would be and listen for their voices.

All losses of loves, two legged and four legged are devastating on their own levels and with their own intensities.

We are here on this boat dock, running it again for the people who normally do it.

Today's Topic:
Pump Out.
Ewwwwww.
We just pumped out a sailboat's holding tank and man oh man. All in all it wasn't bad but I can't help but laugh at the fact that I am still dealing with someone else's poop.

Mame! I have thought about you over and over again ever since reading for the first time about your son and the terrible situation that he has found himself in. I hope that you can tell us that things are continuing to improve and that your blood pressure and hopefully your stress levels are decreasing.
Hugs and good thoughts to you always.

Love you guys and will check in again soon.

lovbob
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Hi everyone! Will update you after tomorrow's Dr appt. but things looking good for my son! Mom is doing ok too! Expecting heavy rain and hail, thunder and lightening here soon! Love a good storm!
Juju-soooo sorry about your kitty. He lived a good life. Sweet thing.
Jen-I hope you take a few bucks and stop at an ice cream parlor-or better yet-Chinese food! No selfishness on your part honey!
Meanwhile-hope that itchiness on the horse goes away soon! Can't blame that on the laundry detergent!
Sharyn-how is mom doing?
Bobbie-still cleaning someone else's poop! Good God! NOOOOOOOO!
Hello to everyone else out there! This is just a drive by! haha Mame
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thinking of you juju, I know that pain and fear it is coming here soon too. you love them so much and give them a home the pain of the loss can only be tempered by that later on...

Hey bobbie, hope you are OK there...

love the tag on the right "I secretly wish my mother would die..." woman's a better soul than I, I openly wish fp would die...

what was it, I don't know...have a good rest of the week everyone.

I am still thinking of you and your loss juju...It shows you have a good heart and loved deeply. If that is any comfort just now to you...Jen
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Hi everyone, just a quick update. Mom is going great, no more rashes since we switched laundry soap. My kitty Tiger has an abscess that nature has taken care of, but he still has to undergo a wound cleaning tomorrow and possible put a drain in it. I am checking now to see if my daughter, hubby and I can postpone our vaca because Tiger's wound won't be healed enough by Sunday...don't want to put post-op care onto a family member while I go off to Idaho. Take care everyone!!
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He spills more, shakes more, can't follow what mom is asking him...is this drawing to close?...Must hope must hope must hope....Jen
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Juju, so sorry about your old cat. 17 is really getting up there for a cat, and I'm sure he had a great life.
Shayrn, glad to hear your mom is settling in. Hopefully, things will get easier for you.
Jen sorry your still stuck in limbo.
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Hope everyone else is hanging in there. Cuz how is the MIL? and how is Mike doing? Better I hope.
Bobbi, I know your staying busy.
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Can't postpone the vacation so hubby is going to Idaho without me. I will stay home, take care of my cat, have about 5 days without hubby here so i can get a lot done.
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I hope you enjoy your time alone and do some good things for yourself.
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Scared to let him go ...but the boy is going back to school tomorrow. Hope he uses good judgment and makes good choices and takes care of himself. He will do PT at school for the knee. No surgery till off the blood thinners and proof of clots gone. Deep breath.....
Mom is mom. Nothing new on that front. Guess that is a good thing right? Haha.
Sorry you can't go on vacation Sharyn. Hugs! Hope you get lots done tho and can enjoy some alone time.
Jen-I hope it is nearer the end...we can fantasize about it anyway!
Hope everyone has a good Friday and a decent weekend. Mame
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Crap day here....good weekend all...
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HEY! I got boat time!!! Can't wait!!!
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Mame, you deserve boat time with all you've been through with your mom and your son. Glad to hear he is well enough to go back to school.
Shayrn, sorry about your cat, and missing vacation. I can't say anything, I've done the same when I had a sick dog one time.
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Hi all n popping in to check on you all. sounds like a lot going on at this topic too. Of course, when is their never something going on.
Juju, sorry about your little cat. We just had to put down my mil’s dog due to cancer tumor came back n her spleen had swollen. She was a very sick 14yr old pup. I always hate doing it but it was best to get her out of the pain.

Bobbie, it seems like poop is r job no matter what. I started when I was growing up with horses then diapers, animals-pets n now the mil’s poop on the wall or sink. we just cannot seem to get away from it or the bull-shit too. lol I just had to throw that one in for everyone. I keep being told that this is only going to get harder! I don’t think I can handle any harder n she is pretty independent as for walking n getting dressed n bathroom.
Awe Sharyn, what about the vet place would they take care of your kitty real good so u can go on that vacation? If not, I fully understand. I hope u get to enjoy your time alone n Get out of the house too for its your break too.
I hope all else r doing alright n will try to come back n catch up on more reading when I can get some time. hubby out of town for school n has to do it on Saturday with no extra pay. What has r education system come to now? At least their meals r paid for but a certain limit, gas n rooms. I may just roll over with joy with all that extra crap. At least he likes his job. They r going to check him for prostate cancer the 19th. I am hoping it just bladder infection. We won't know anything until 25th of this month. The not knowing that kill me n I am trying not to be a worry wart around him. At least mil is okay. Now, if I can get her bills paid. since she was on hospice, none of her bills r paid by medicare. So, I dropped all 14 pages that medicare sent us n gave them to hospice being she will no longer qualify after the 21 of this month. None of that makes any sense. I think I will look for another hospice if or when we need it again. Sorry about babbling. I hope everyone can get some much needed rest.
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Gah everyone having pet troubles and scared i will be next. trip to vet for rabies turned into !30 dollars of blood work, a diagnosis of Thyroid disease ( manageable ) and that it may be hiding something else ( not manageable ) God...I can't take any more please...Moms out getting CLEO's meds this morning another $ she is gonna pretend I don't have. Mnnmmm How to give a cat a pill...this will be good...She was so upset at the vet she had to be sedated for blood draw. I heard the screaming, I thought she was gonna have a heart attack in the back! God my poor little cat. (13).
Then still upset in the car moms driving starting to put me in fear for my life "WHOA!" I said as a car came barreling toward us...
"JENNY SHUT UP!!!" " I knew I had time..."
yeah been a swell week here again...
Oh well, wrote out my "three resume' contacts" for therapy app. Monday, so what ever... else moving forward...ish...
There goes Monty, mom has been gone seven minutes, he will howl till she gets home...

I hope the news on your husband is good news lil, or if they catch it quick enough it is usually in a fixable state as well. thinking of you...

Moms home,,,Here Cleo...
Jen
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Jen~I am sorry, but can relate...this week has sucked!! I fell last night at work, left eye is swollen and purple. I am bummed this morning!
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Just a hoping for a better week to come along, this sure has been a rough couple of months here...all round!
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I usually don't put any stock in Friday the 13th, but it's been a tough week for everyone. Guess I can't get away from the poop either. The adobe house we have been trying to make livable for the last 6 months had major toilet issues. I kept telling Indio and my stepdad it was not sitting level, and it rocked. Since the guys never sat on it, they kept ignoring it. Finally, got Indio to help me look at it. Tried tightening the bolts that hold it to the floor, no use, unbolted it, and sheesh the thing was just sitting on the sewer pipe, no floor joists holding it up. And of course the sewer pipe was broken (not leaking, but broken). Poor Indio he has a low gross threshold, but we got the toilet secured and put back together, took half a day, but finally done. I want to take a shower in disinfectant. LOL
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EEWWW...man, that is yuck tastic meanwhile! An out house is put together with more thought!
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meanwhile, u poor thing what a stinky mess you had. At least it fixed now. I hope u were able to get that disinfected shower n feeling April fresh. ; )

Jen, so sorry about your kitty. Have u tried cat-nip to help calm your kitty down before taking to the vet? My cat will crawl all the way back toward the carrier like a bunny rabbit. It's as if they know where they r going before u get out of the door. I think I take those freaking keys from mom n do the driving myself. Of course, I am not n your shoes n have no idea how she is except it sounds like her driving would make me poo in my pants. Can u crush the pill up n put it n a spoon with water n suck it up in an eye dropper for your cat? U may be able to crush it up n add it to some can cat-food. I have to use the dropper for mine will turn their nose up at the food when I tried it. Good luck!

Sharyn, sorry to hear about your eye n it sounds very painful, ouchy poo!
Mil n I got r flu shot n boy does my arm hurt like crazy! I had a hard time trying to sleep last due to it. It was a regular flu shot too. maybe I forgot what a little pain n soreness feels like? The mil's arm was hurting too but she hasn't complain today. I had gave both of us a Tylenol last night to help the soreness but that didn't seem to help much. Well, at least she not complaining so I will suck it up like a big girl. ; )
I hope everyone has a better weekday tomorrow. Well, I have a cat on my side n one above my head on my chair, I guess we know whose boss in this house.
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i may have to try and crush it, I have been bit twice now and she can get it out of the pill pocket...cats has vera sharp teeths!
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