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Same, here, bob .. no kids, no siblings likely to take it on (two dead-beat brothers and a disabled sis) .. I just hope that when it's my turn P.A.C.E has a room for me.
Deeramsey is correct that we will all have to face our elder years and the illnesses associated with it. I do have children, but don't want them changing my diaper. Since I have such a strong family history of Alzheimer's on both sides...I took out a long term health policy on myself. Hubby didn't want one for himself.
On September 26th, my husband suffered a mild stroke after he got to work. He had two pin point size blood clots on both sides of the brain that affected the speech center. He has been back to work for a week and half now, is having speech therapy once a week. He is doing great....I am making sure our diet is low sodium. We both like spicy food so I use cayenne pepper/lemon juice a lot and can reduce the salt on our food by spicing it up. I am not cooking as much beef, more chicken, fish, turkey and lots and lots of veggies. Mushrooms are a great protein substitute too. Hubby is doing fairly well on the smoking issue...but I need the patch and my paychecks have been small so I haven't been able to start using it....I know...I'm bad. I will get there though.
Agreed, my mom says when she gets to that point she'd just assume be in a care center herself...
Really hard time here just now, my therapist after 8 visits and an opening of "Do you want to do more cognitive behavioral work or do processing of your past abuse type work" has now said all of the sudden, she wants us to consider doing trauma work...She is opening with all these exercises to help deal with the stress and pain of bringing up the abuse in my life....saying it is all up to me what we do...what the pace is etc...GOOD, cause we are not gonna do it...!!!
Guess what!? I AM NOT IN A SAFE PLACE NOW!!!! From what I have read doing abuse healing really takes a lot of hard painful work and you need to be a a place where you are stable to tackle it...WELL GUESS WHAT?! I AM NOT IN A STABLE PLACE RIGHT NOW, I HAVE BEEN HOSPITALIZED TWICE THIS YEAR AND AFTER FIVE YEARS OF CARE-GIVING FOR MY PERVERTED GRANDFATHER AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED IA M STILL IN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION!!!!
I really have enough on my plate right now, to choke a horse and I do not feel remotely able to re start doing my "Inner Child Work" trust issues, forgiveness, intensive regression and what ever hair brained idea she has decided on...I also note, she has "Mentioned me to a few colleagues" (she is in her last year of Master is Psychology) No names of course...but I am getting the feeling, I am sort of a Guinea pig here...That is not going to work. My life, my pace, my choice. I want to work on the here and now...It is making me suicidal just to think about this now...I have ALL I CAN HANDLE RIGHT NOW!!!! I do not see why this has come up all of the sudden. Though she has to do paper work and for this you need legitimate diagnoses and she has found out I do indeed have PTSD along with anxiety, clinical depression and a dependent personality disorder...Doesn't that sound like enough to deal with, without adding the dredging up of incest, emotional and physical abuse of my blighted childhood...? God I feel sick! When is it enough? I have had enough just leave me alone! I am so stressed, I have taken to reading fantasy stories to get as far away for HERE and NOW as I possibly can..
God I am Thankful for the Grossed Thread, I know I am a drag and annoying but I can't imagine not having it here. Anyone who doesn't get it...IS LUCKY!!!!
Jen you are not a drag you have been through so much and you do not see a light at the end of the tunnel-wished I lived closer to you so could give you a hug in person and get you away from all that you have to deal with all the time.
Jen, You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Tell the therapist that you are at Critical Mass and it's not open for discussion.
It's been awhile since mom died and I can still get overwhelmed at the drop of a hat but am so much better than I was. It took doing other stuff and getting excited about other stuff as opposed to only suffering with what is hurting us. But that's me and everyone is different.
Jen, you are still in the trenches and I can only imagine how hard it is to be in your shoes and coping with what you're coping with past and present. No one has the right to load any more on you. It's just a symptom that your therapist doesn't understand fully what you are dealing with. *sigh*
Remember that we have to empower ourselves to tune up a professional when they lose sight of what we really need.
This is coming from an abuse survivor .. and with a lot of retrospective perspective. Here's a line that might work with the therapist, "Unless you'd like to join the ranks of my abusers, we need to back off. I am NOT in a safe space. I need to breathe. Right now I need coping skills, not a backhoe lesson."
... and thank gawd for those fantasy stories, huh? I'm long over my childhood trauma and spend a lot of my free time in a 3D Fantasy world. Works for me. Hang in there, Jen. The work you're talking about is a lifetime's worth, in my experience. There's no need to rush ................. I will add: one day, some day down the road, you'll face it. When you're strong enough. Love yourself until then. *hugs*
It is getting dark earlier and, sometimes I'm out until dark, looking for the horses after work. I like to have them at the barn at night. My faithful dog is so great. If it starts to get too dark for me, she comes back from chasing rabbits and deer, to lead me around rocks, and cactus until we make it back to the house. She's my ugly pound puppy that turned into such a great companion.
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie " with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities..
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.
He continued his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:"An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason is on his skate board!"
After a few moments he announced..."The Coopers are having sex!"
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."
Note: I go back to the surgen tommorow to get the stitches out. Will let you know why he didn't tell me what was going to happen. At least they got all the cancer out for now any way. Hugs to everyone espectually to Jen. Hang in there kiddo OK? luvCuz
Thanks everyone, austin and bobbie and cuz, ladee and meanwhile,....That helps. "Critical Mass" that sounds about right. I am not good at confrontations so I am gonna put it in a short note and mail it to her. Just let her know this is not "a good time"...Pahahahaaahahaaaa! beh...still alive here, he is adding cushions to chairs...weaker and weaker and sleeping more and more...light at end of tunnel maybe? Love Jen
Jen, when my first hub and I were going to go to marriage counseling-and I was hell bent on saving the marriage, we walked into the counselor and she says, "So, are we here for marriage counseling or divorce counseling? Divorce counseling is 6 weeks and marriage is 12 or more." I almost fell over! I promptly "fired" her and asked for a different counselor. Tell her how you feel-letter or otherwise and if she persists, ask for some other counselor!!!! Go at your own pace to take care of you! A good counselor will understand that! And she should be there for you not any paper or degree etc. Arrrgh that pisses me off! Cuz, I am so sorry about your health issues! How scary to have them keep digging! Yea, would a been nice to know what the heck was going on. Thanks for the jokes even when you are recovering! You are amazing! Bobbie, good to hear from you. Glad you got your internet back cause it was kinda quiet around here without you! Love your boat and dock stories! Smart kitty, might get carried off by them big birds! Stay low or inside kitty! Sharyn-Good job on the diet changes with hubby! How scary. Glad he is recovering and back to work! Praying for you! LadeeC-"Caregiver Blues!" Love it! But yea, all the poop would put most people off! Ratings would be low. However, a "modern family" caregiver comedy twist may work! Can you see Sofia Vergara wiping a butt??? hahahaha She would make it funny! Austin-loved the Lobster in Cape Cod this summer too! But I must say, I love crab legs and steamed clams better! Meanwhile-gotta love those pound puppies! Mine is a Godsend too. So loyal and a great companion. Hate that it is getting dark so early...Dec 21st the days start getting longer again...yea! (Knowing that is the only thing that gets me through winter!) Kuli-thinking about you at this difficult time! Please post again and let us know how you are doing. We are here for ya! Kazaa-Murder She Wrote is one of mom's favorites! Lildeb-I get so many requests to play those games on FB-If I start I fear I will never get off the computer! I used to play scrabble-but now I don't play anything. I would never get mom moving for the day! Which is taking much more energy these days...don't know if it is the cooler weather or what but mom does not want to get out of bed! I keep going in and talking to her and giving her drinks-cuase dehydration is such a problem! Dammit. I don't know what to do about her. Even when she is out of bed she sleeps while she sits... Hard to keep her engaged and when you do-she is more tired! It is exhausting trying to keep her entertained... Son was home for the long weekend and saw the Drs about the blood clots and the knee. He is doing great! I am so happy and relieved. Will have to stay on blood thinners for the 6 months tho and surgery can be a week after he stops. Then back on again! Not for such a long time tho after. He is walking with the brace and doing his PT and is really strengthening things. Docs were happy. My allergies are better. Was a tough couple a weeks! Glad that is over! Cooling down here-to the "normal" temps it should be! They said we have had 23 days above average temps here in Central NY. We will take it! Cause we know what is coming! Hope everyone has a good hump day. Hello to Deeramsey and Deef and Flex and Juju and anyone else I missed! Thanks for being here for me! Mame
Hmnnn twelve weeks?...Gah this is peoples real LIVES here, if you can't be sensitive about it why get into the filed...?! So far my therapist has seemed kind, I just wonder where the hell this came from...she started out saying she was mostly a cognitive behavioral therapist so that she's all the sudden (in the middle of "my life" here) wants to dig and pick and poke and prod and whatever, I just don't get it, but I swear I can hear the conversations she is having with colleagues: "Wouldn't it be interesting to tear down and re build another person (for the good) and she seems a likely candidate..intelligent motivated..." God let's just not go there please...
Infamous letter mailed, and if I need to, I will say "no can do" in person. No thank you, not up to it...That she even wanted to start doing trauma work was really a shock to me...
careful with the blood thinners, certain veggies are off the list for a bit...
Hope the rest of the week is quiet...gotta find more stuff to read, I may just pull books off the shelf and check em out...
Doing a therapy exercise on Thankfulness....gonna have fun with this one...Jen
How the stick removal cuz. weird pulling feeling that...
Mame, your doing the best you can, that is all you can do. Letter sounds like a good idea, Jen. Cuz, thanks for all the funny jokes, hope your stitches come out OK.
Everything came out ok. I had kept it covered with vasiline and the stitches just slid right out and everything looks good. You realy have to look where the cut is because they didn't shave my sideburns or beard. They just cut right through them, laid everything to the side and did there thing. I asked why they did the cut instead of just scrapping a circle like they do on my back etc and the said it would be to hard to sew up a circle. They didn't want to mess up my GOOD looks I guess. Jen I'm glad you are not putting yourself through what she wants to put you through. You made a good decision to stand up for yourself. There is a light at the end of the tunnel but getting past what you have been through and looking forward is the best move for you. They always say life goes on but for some reason the memories sometimes are the hardest part to move on from. We are all here for you Jen and will be here no matter what. Hugs to you and everyone else on here. I have learned so much from you gals that when something goes on around here I can relate to what you have been through and try to give advice to caregivers around here. Love all you gals like family OK? luvCuz
good morning gang.... I feel just like you Jen, everything is a mess and I feel like a downer and a drag. I am so glad you are getting out and doing things for you and spoke up for yourself, however you had too....writing sometimes is less difficult than in person....good job!!! You all are so wonderful and thank you for being here, It has been the most difficult year yet. So much has changed, both for good and not so good, but very eventful. Tomorrow will be the 9th anniv of dads death, I think it will be a hard day for me this year. I did get good news recently, I got a notice in the mail that I should now qualify for state health care plan, Jan 1st. I think that will also include dental and way overdue counseling and possibly visioncare! I am looking forward to getting some counseling!!! Meanwhile...what a great pup, it is wonderful how they love n help us! It is shelter dog month here and I am also grateful for my girl I adopted, she is the best and makes me feel safe and protected!
Hope you all are hanging in there and making the best of the situation!!
Thinking we may be sliding downhill again...mom is not "right." We will see how she is upon waking this morning. She can be so pitiful at times. Just when I am at my wits end and ready to start the Medicaid process, she will be pitiful or adorable and I just can't bring myself to start the process to put her in a NH. Explaining her life to her in the middle of the night as I sit on her bedside rubbing her back...who will do that for her in a NH? No one. Who will reassure her that she is safe and everything is ok? It makes me so sad. Speaking of which-my sis popped in and told me I looked sad. I told her I just need a good cry. I told her how hubby doesn't understand why I want to cry and how that will make me feel better. She says-"It's not that you want to cry...it is that you are constantly on the verge of tears-there's a difference." Wow. That is so spot on! Anyway, I just have that feeling mom is on her way to being sick again. Her blood test came back all normal from the Dr...so I guess she is not dehydrated. I just don't think we ever got good again since her hosp stay this summer. Not unusual for someone not to spring back-I know...but usually does a little better than she has this time. Gah! Well, Cuz, you are family to us tooo!!! The ppl on this thread are more/better "family" to me than some of my blood relatives! Meanwhile-no bodies to bury? Glad to hear! Juju-thinking of you today. Jen-how ya doin? Hey Bobbie. Hello to all the rest out there...hope everyone has a decent weekend. Cooling down here and windy so all the leaves are blowing around! Cool moon last night huh? Love to all! Mame
Hey everybody We had my mil back in the hospital yesterday. She has some kind of infection in her pancreas. Her temp was 103.9 so the powerpoked the antibiotics and admitted her so when we left she Was just sleeping. Will find out more today. My brother was at the doc last Wednesday and they did some blood work and he got home last night and the ansuring machine had a message from the doc saying you are in congestive heart failure and have to double up on your Lasik pill. Well it was like 10:30 when he called me and said he didn't have such a pill. I told him to call the pharmacy in he morning and ask them some questions. He found out that it was his generic version of his water pill. He wasn't happy about having to pee all the time but I told him that I am going to call the doc Monday and find out why they scared. The hell out of him by telling him he was in congestive heart failure, why not just get to the hospital? Anyway when I find out more I will let you know. Hugs to everyone and thanks for letting me be, part of your extended family. LuvCuz
Oh and I forgot to add that while I was mowing the grass today it started hailing with the rain drops. The temp was 56. Welcome to Michigan. Jokes will come later. LuvCuz
Love you Cuz and I hope everyone is going to be ok. I have been thinking about what you went through with your jaw and can't even imagine what that had to be like. You are a good one Cuz.
Mame! Hope also that your mom will be ok and your sis nailed it. I went through that too. Just always so sad and wanting to hide out but you know you can't because your mom is counting on you. I guess we can't grow up without feeling all kinds of heartbreak. Ow Ow.
Love you guys and think of you guys all the time. Wish we all could get together and drink margaritas.
Still alive, must be... or the laundry would pile up and they wouldn't have dishes to eat off of.... Mom's "doing it again..." "Do you have money for the vet?" Pet meds...
"No..."
"How much is it,?"
"I'll call and ask..."
"53.08..."
"Do YOU have any cash?"
"....no...." actually, I have a dollars and 38 cents...
"How much do you have in checking?"
" Fifty..."
huff fume, mom look mad, huff, count out cash...
What I think she gave me, was the fifty I got at Pawn One for selling some stuff I had been trying to see for years...took like a %90 hit but that's pawn shop prices..."The friend of the poor..." un hu...
I gave it to her last week to cover a quarter of the emergency vet bill...
She was huffy in the car as we picked up prescriptions for DDDAAAAdddeeeee and went to library...I saw a book on the shelf called "Mean Mother"... Nice, painfully accurate read of what it like when you know your mom doesn't like you...She is also probably still pissed becasue I told her she was not gonna get the vhs tapes she "loaned" brother idiot... three months ago...
What does she want from me, I applied for a job never heard back applies for SSI got denied, contacted a lawyer...About ready to sell my soul for money here, or at least plaza, but can't do it...I am on medication...Anything else I can sell? My 1913 dime, is worth about three dollars... WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE EXPECT, WHAT DOES SHE THINK I DO WITH THE MONEY I GET EACH MONTH ?! I have four current need to be paid off medical bills totaling over three hundred dollars and five times that in vet bills, I pay for my meds my therapy my bus fair as much as I can for my pets and have three bucks left to buy a lotto ticket! And she can't have that!!! It is all I have...
Did the dishes, did the towels, did fart pants laundry, took out garbage, did her laundry and put it away...got a mess of detective books at library for her and some fantasy and mysteries for me as well and gonna go hide in the basement like I don't exist... Therapy on Monday, cant afford bus fare, will steal if off of November's GENEROUS ALLOWANCE....
Thanks for all the support mame and bobbie and cuz and juju and meanwhile and austin.....have a sane weekend, where ever you all are...you too book!
Jen, you do exist. One of these days a job will come along, and your mom isn't going to know what to do without you around helping out all the time. Don't worry about me, Bobbi, I was just kidding (mostly). Cuz hope your jaw is healing up well. Sounds like you have a good Dr. Mame your such a good daughter. But, I bet your Mom would want you to take care of yourself too. Juju, how are you doing? I know I forget so many, but hope everyone is doing alright.
Mame, how is your mom doing today? Cuz, how is your MIL? Pancreas infection can be pretty serious. Sorry the Dr says your brother has congestive heart failure. That is something the doctor should have maybe sat down and talked to him about? My step dad has been in congestive heart failure (says the Doc). for over 15 years. He just keeps going, going , and going. He decided this summer, my house needed the gutters replaced. I thought he would get everything laid out, and ready, then I would be up the ladder putting them on. Nooo I came home from work, and he had them put up. I was a little upset with him, what if he fell off the ladder with no one home. He is still so hard headed.
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
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Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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On September 26th, my husband suffered a mild stroke after he got to work. He had two pin point size blood clots on both sides of the brain that affected the speech center. He has been back to work for a week and half now, is having speech therapy once a week. He is doing great....I am making sure our diet is low sodium. We both like spicy food so I use cayenne pepper/lemon juice a lot and can reduce the salt on our food by spicing it up. I am not cooking as much beef, more chicken, fish, turkey and lots and lots of veggies. Mushrooms are a great protein substitute too. Hubby is doing fairly well on the smoking issue...but I need the patch and my paychecks have been small so I haven't been able to start using it....I know...I'm bad. I will get there though.
Really hard time here just now, my therapist after 8 visits and an opening of "Do you want to do more cognitive behavioral work or do processing of your past abuse type work" has now said all of the sudden, she wants us to consider doing trauma work...She is opening with all these exercises to help deal with the stress and pain of bringing up the abuse in my life....saying it is all up to me what we do...what the pace is etc...GOOD, cause we are not gonna do it...!!!
Guess what!? I AM NOT IN A SAFE PLACE NOW!!!! From what I have read doing abuse healing really takes a lot of hard painful work and you need to be a a place where you are stable to tackle it...WELL GUESS WHAT?! I AM NOT IN A STABLE PLACE RIGHT NOW, I HAVE BEEN HOSPITALIZED TWICE THIS YEAR AND AFTER FIVE YEARS OF CARE-GIVING FOR MY PERVERTED GRANDFATHER AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED IA M STILL IN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION!!!!
I really have enough on my plate right now, to choke a horse and I do not feel remotely able to re start doing my "Inner Child Work" trust issues, forgiveness, intensive regression and what ever hair brained idea she has decided on...I also note, she has "Mentioned me to a few colleagues" (she is in her last year of Master is Psychology) No names of course...but I am getting the feeling, I am sort of a Guinea pig here...That is not going to work. My life, my pace, my choice. I want to work on the here and now...It is making me suicidal just to think about this now...I have ALL I CAN HANDLE RIGHT NOW!!!! I do not see why this has come up all of the sudden. Though she has to do paper work and for this you need legitimate diagnoses and she has found out I do indeed have PTSD along with anxiety, clinical depression and a dependent personality disorder...Doesn't that sound like enough to deal with, without adding the dredging up of incest, emotional and physical abuse of my blighted childhood...? God I feel sick! When is it enough? I have had enough just leave me alone! I am so stressed, I have taken to reading fantasy stories to get as far away for HERE and NOW as I possibly can..
God I am Thankful for the Grossed Thread, I know I am a drag and annoying but I can't imagine not having it here. Anyone who doesn't get it...IS LUCKY!!!!
beh Jen
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
Tell the therapist that you are at Critical Mass and it's not open for discussion.
It's been awhile since mom died and I can still get overwhelmed at the drop of a hat but am so much better than I was. It took doing other stuff and getting excited about other stuff as opposed to only suffering with what is hurting us.
But that's me and everyone is different.
Jen, you are still in the trenches and I can only imagine how hard it is to be in your shoes and coping with what you're coping with past and present. No one has the right to load any more on you. It's just a symptom that your therapist doesn't understand fully what you are dealing with. *sigh*
Remember that we have to empower ourselves to tune up a professional when they lose sight of what we really need.
Love you Jen and thinkoftheboathtinkoftheboat.
lovbob
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.
He continued his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:"An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason is on his skate board!"
After a few moments he announced..."The Coopers are having sex!"
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."
luvCuz
Cuz, I am so sorry about your health issues! How scary to have them keep digging! Yea, would a been nice to know what the heck was going on. Thanks for the jokes even when you are recovering! You are amazing!
Bobbie, good to hear from you. Glad you got your internet back cause it was kinda quiet around here without you! Love your boat and dock stories! Smart kitty, might get carried off by them big birds! Stay low or inside kitty!
Sharyn-Good job on the diet changes with hubby! How scary. Glad he is recovering and back to work! Praying for you!
LadeeC-"Caregiver Blues!" Love it! But yea, all the poop would put most people off! Ratings would be low. However, a "modern family" caregiver comedy twist may work! Can you see Sofia Vergara wiping a butt??? hahahaha She would make it funny!
Austin-loved the Lobster in Cape Cod this summer too! But I must say, I love crab legs and steamed clams better!
Meanwhile-gotta love those pound puppies! Mine is a Godsend too. So loyal and a great companion. Hate that it is getting dark so early...Dec 21st the days start getting longer again...yea! (Knowing that is the only thing that gets me through winter!)
Kuli-thinking about you at this difficult time! Please post again and let us know how you are doing. We are here for ya!
Kazaa-Murder She Wrote is one of mom's favorites!
Lildeb-I get so many requests to play those games on FB-If I start I fear I will never get off the computer! I used to play scrabble-but now I don't play anything. I would never get mom moving for the day!
Which is taking much more energy these days...don't know if it is the cooler weather or what but mom does not want to get out of bed! I keep going in and talking to her and giving her drinks-cuase dehydration is such a problem! Dammit. I don't know what to do about her. Even when she is out of bed she sleeps while she sits... Hard to keep her engaged and when you do-she is more tired! It is exhausting trying to keep her entertained...
Son was home for the long weekend and saw the Drs about the blood clots and the knee. He is doing great! I am so happy and relieved. Will have to stay on blood thinners for the 6 months tho and surgery can be a week after he stops. Then back on again! Not for such a long time tho after. He is walking with the brace and doing his PT and is really strengthening things. Docs were happy.
My allergies are better. Was a tough couple a weeks! Glad that is over! Cooling down here-to the "normal" temps it should be! They said we have had 23 days above average temps here in Central NY. We will take it! Cause we know what is coming!
Hope everyone has a good hump day. Hello to Deeramsey and Deef and Flex and Juju and anyone else I missed! Thanks for being here for me! Mame
So far my therapist has seemed kind, I just wonder where the hell this came from...she started out saying she was mostly a cognitive behavioral therapist so that she's all the sudden (in the middle of "my life" here) wants to dig and pick and poke and prod and whatever, I just don't get it, but I swear I can hear the conversations she is having with colleagues: "Wouldn't it be interesting to tear down and re build another person (for the good) and she seems a likely candidate..intelligent motivated..." God let's just not go there please...
Infamous letter mailed, and if I need to, I will say "no can do" in person. No thank you, not up to it...That she even wanted to start doing trauma work was really a shock to me...
careful with the blood thinners, certain veggies are off the list for a bit...
Hope the rest of the week is quiet...gotta find more stuff to read, I may just pull books off the shelf and check em out...
Doing a therapy exercise on Thankfulness....gonna have fun with this one...Jen
How the stick removal cuz. weird pulling feeling that...
Letter sounds like a good idea, Jen.
Cuz, thanks for all the funny jokes, hope your stitches come out OK.
Jen I'm glad you are not putting yourself through what she wants to put you through. You made a good decision to stand up for yourself. There is a light at the end of the tunnel but getting past what you have been through and looking forward is the best move for you. They always say life goes on but for some reason the memories sometimes are the hardest part to move on from. We are all here for you Jen and will be here no matter what. Hugs to you and everyone else on here. I have learned so much from you gals that when something goes on around here I can relate to what you have been through and try to give advice to caregivers around here. Love all you gals like family OK?
luvCuz
The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?”
“Ten,” she replied.
“What are their names?” he asked.
“LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy,” she answered.
“They’re all named LeRoy?” he asked “What if you want them to come in from playing outside?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just call ‘LeRoy,’ and they all come running in.”
“And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?”
“I just say, ‘LeRoy, come eat your dinner’,” she answered.
“But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?” he asked.
“Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just use their last name!”
I feel just like you Jen, everything is a mess and I feel like a downer and a drag. I am so glad you are getting out and doing things for you and spoke up for yourself, however you had too....writing sometimes is less difficult than in person....good job!!!
You all are so wonderful and thank you for being here, It has been the most difficult year yet. So much has changed, both for good and not so good, but very eventful.
Tomorrow will be the 9th anniv of dads death, I think it will be a hard day for me this year.
I did get good news recently, I got a notice in the mail that I should now qualify for state health care plan, Jan 1st. I think that will also include dental and way overdue counseling and possibly visioncare! I am looking forward to getting some counseling!!!
Meanwhile...what a great pup, it is wonderful how they love n help us! It is shelter dog month here and I am also grateful for my girl I adopted, she is the best and makes me feel safe and protected!
Hope you all are hanging in there and making the best of the situation!!
Peace,
Juju
wha happened?
Anyway, I just have that feeling mom is on her way to being sick again. Her blood test came back all normal from the Dr...so I guess she is not dehydrated. I just don't think we ever got good again since her hosp stay this summer. Not unusual for someone not to spring back-I know...but usually does a little better than she has this time. Gah!
Well, Cuz, you are family to us tooo!!! The ppl on this thread are more/better "family" to me than some of my blood relatives!
Meanwhile-no bodies to bury? Glad to hear!
Juju-thinking of you today.
Jen-how ya doin?
Hey Bobbie.
Hello to all the rest out there...hope everyone has a decent weekend. Cooling down here and windy so all the leaves are blowing around! Cool moon last night huh?
Love to all! Mame
My brother was at the doc last Wednesday and they did some blood work and he got home last night and the ansuring machine had a message from the doc saying you are in congestive heart failure and have to double up on your Lasik pill. Well it was like 10:30 when he called me and said he didn't have such a pill. I told him to call the pharmacy in he morning and ask them some questions. He found out that it was his generic version of his water pill. He wasn't happy about having to pee all the time but I told him that I am going to call the doc Monday and find out why they scared. The hell out of him by telling him he was in congestive heart failure, why not just get to the hospital? Anyway when I find out more I will let you know. Hugs to everyone and thanks for letting me be, part of your extended family.
LuvCuz
LuvCuz
I have been thinking about what you went through with your jaw and can't even imagine what that had to be like. You are a good one Cuz.
Mame! Hope also that your mom will be ok and your sis nailed it. I went through that too. Just always so sad and wanting to hide out but you know you can't because your mom is counting on you.
I guess we can't grow up without feeling all kinds of heartbreak. Ow Ow.
Love you guys and think of you guys all the time. Wish we all could get together and drink margaritas.
lovbob
Mom's "doing it again..."
"Do you have money for the vet?" Pet meds...
"No..."
"How much is it,?"
"I'll call and ask..."
"53.08..."
"Do YOU have any cash?"
"....no...." actually, I have a dollars and 38 cents...
"How much do you have in checking?"
" Fifty..."
huff fume, mom look mad, huff, count out cash...
What I think she gave me, was the fifty I got at Pawn One for selling some stuff I had been trying to see for years...took like a %90 hit but that's pawn shop prices..."The friend of the poor..." un hu...
I gave it to her last week to cover a quarter of the emergency vet bill...
She was huffy in the car as we picked up prescriptions for DDDAAAAdddeeeee and went to library...I saw a book on the shelf called "Mean Mother"... Nice, painfully accurate read of what it like when you know your mom doesn't like you...She is also probably still pissed becasue I told her she was not gonna get the vhs tapes she "loaned" brother idiot... three months ago...
What does she want from me, I applied for a job never heard back applies for SSI got denied, contacted a lawyer...About ready to sell my soul for money here, or at least plaza, but can't do it...I am on medication...Anything else I can sell? My 1913 dime, is worth about three dollars...
WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE EXPECT, WHAT DOES SHE THINK I DO WITH THE MONEY I GET EACH MONTH ?! I have four current need to be paid off medical bills totaling over three hundred dollars and five times that in vet bills, I pay for my meds my therapy my bus fair as much as I can for my pets and have three bucks left to buy a lotto ticket! And she can't have that!!! It is all I have...
Did the dishes, did the towels, did fart pants laundry, took out garbage, did her laundry and put it away...got a mess of detective books at library for her and some fantasy and mysteries for me as well and gonna go hide in the basement like I don't exist...
Therapy on Monday, cant afford bus fare, will steal if off of November's GENEROUS ALLOWANCE....
Thanks for all the support mame and bobbie and cuz and juju and meanwhile and austin.....have a sane weekend, where ever you all are...you too book!
Jen....
Don't worry about me, Bobbi, I was just kidding (mostly).
Cuz hope your jaw is healing up well. Sounds like you have a good Dr.
Mame your such a good daughter. But, I bet your Mom would want you to take care of yourself too.
Juju, how are you doing? I know I forget so many, but hope everyone is doing alright.
Cuz, how is your MIL? Pancreas infection can be pretty serious. Sorry the Dr says your brother has congestive heart failure. That is something the doctor should have maybe sat down and talked to him about? My step dad has been in congestive heart failure (says the Doc). for over 15 years. He just keeps going, going , and going. He decided this summer, my house needed the gutters replaced. I thought he would get everything laid out, and ready, then I would be up the ladder putting them on. Nooo I came home from work, and he had them put up. I was a little upset with him, what if he fell off the ladder with no one home. He is still so hard headed.