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I have taken all my stuff out of the bathroom mother uses (Yes, I had to.) Then I had to hide her stuff to keep it from a similar fate. I had to take almost everything out of her dresser and night stand because she puts urine soaked underwear, messy clothes (yes, that kind of mess) under the bed, hanging on the the clean clothes in the closet, it's a hide and seek nightmare.
Yes, we all have to laugh or we'd be crying all day, every day. If we collated all the comments re Gross we'd have a 5000 page book!
Welcome Kara, post away it helps. Thanks Cuz, I'm feeling better today, broke down and started taking antibiotics and they seem to be helping. Your cold front has reached down here to SW Texas this morning. OK, not nearly as cold as where you are at, but have the 30 MPH winds, no snow, ( I think it is drier here than California), so that means dust storm. Stay warm. .
Yup!!! Cold as heck here again! It's 10 degrees right now and then add the wind chill to that. Yesterday morning we woke up to above freezing temps. It actually reached 40, but dropped fast by mid afternoon. Went to Walmart for a few things and when I got out a half hour later, the temp had dropped 10 degrees. Dropped off lunch for Blanche and told her I would be there for lunch today. She was all agitated because a niece was dropping by and her hair was a mess. They usually take Blanche for lunch so she was in a panic about going out with her hair like it was.Her hairdresser only works on Wednesday and Thursday so I told her she would have to wait for me to get her an appointment. Well the niece showed up and Blanche told her she had an appointment and no one would take her!!! Next thing I know the phone is ringing and it's one of her lady friends calling to tell me that the niece called her and was upset because she thought no one was caring for Blanche. The friend reassured her that everything was fine. Well she decided to call the hairdresser to ask her what was going on, so while I was on the phone with the first lady, the hairdresser was calling me!!! Long story, short, I called Blanche back and told the niece to tell her she had an appointment on Wednesday at 1 and explained that I had just been there and told Blanche I was going to get her there as soon as I could. She may be 96, but still knows how to push the right buttons to get people to do what she wants!! Needless to say, I spent the evening doing nothing after that business! I was going to call my brother in law and tell him what was going on, but decided not to put the stress on him. There's not a lot he can do from Va. I have lots to do this morning including deciding what to make my lady for lunch. My trash guy went out of business with no notice and I have 3 weeks of trash from 3 apartments so first I need to get on the phone and find someone new to do my weekly pick up.What a pain!! Jen, hope you are all better by now. Meanwhile, you too! Juju, how's it going? Sharon, how's your daughter feeling? Hope everything is well with you. Mame, did you get some rest? Cuz, Try to stay warm! Bobbie, You surviving the freeze down there? Hope you all have a great day! Got to get my rear in gear!!! Deef
Thanks Deef & Meanwhile. Things not going so well. Mom seems worse than when she went to the hospital-minus the fainting. The care she is getting is supposedly the best floor in the place...theywon't remember to put her teeth in, they won't remember to crush her pills in applesauce so she spits them out and the orders say she is a one assist-which she clearly is not and someone is going to get hurt. Her appointment yesterday with the hand surgeon taking out the stitches was horribly painful and I was devastated seeing my mom in such pain. She has to go back in 3 weeks for the pins to be taken out. Ugh. I am trying to lower my standards for her care but I am in disbelief that this home doesn't have more problems. My farthest away sibling is trying to steer my thinking to which aides/nurses are smart and compassionate.... One aide told me she didn't need two to get her into bed-the orders say she can use a walker-I lost it and yelled, "well the f*#king orders are wrong!" I have tried 3 times to have them changed. She cannot even stand on her own let alone use a walker. Why do these ppl think they can tell me what she can do? I know the Dr there and am faxing him a copy of the orders and which ones I know are wrong and demanding they be changed before someone gets hurt. Mom is sleepy all the time... she is ok tho. Have to admit, the siblings are all going and visiting her! Bout time they stepped up. I go up for lunch and Dr visits...they go up for dinner or an evening visit. Rehab isn't going well cause she is in so much pain from her broken ribs. They aren't pushing too hard which I understand but I am afraid her lungs will suffer from so much down time! Damn it is so hard. And then, out of the blue, my dog died last night. Talk about depressed! That's me! God, life is hard. I hate Walt Disney for not preparing me for times like these.
Good for you to holler about your mom's orders. This is a no win situation and I know how frustrating it is. Staff can be so clueless.
Deef! our winds are picking up t where we are gusting 40 out of the NE. Yesterday it was in the mid seventies and a beautiful sunny day and the temps have been dropping all night and morning. We have heaters running on the boats and have the hoses ready to run the piped water off the dock when the hard freeze comes tonight.
Cuz! Glad the wife is better and how is your brother and how are you?
Jen! How are you feeling? Hope you steal some cash and go to the movies!
Meanwhile! dry dust storms. Remember them from when I lived in the wild west!
Kara! Vent and Live! It's all crazy and hope to hear from you again.
Mame sometimes you just have to holler -I had a meltdown with my primary's nurse last Fri and I got an appointment with a specialist in 2 days instead of 4 months like the last time I needed to see a specialist-sometimes getting angry is the only way to be heard.
Oh Mame, so sorry. Deef, your Blanche reminds me of stepdad's mother. They put her in a nursing home (I was still in college). We had a schedule so there was a friend or family member there everyday. Sometimes 2. Even after she had been there 2 months, the 1st thing out of her mouth "Oh I'm so glad to see you, no one has been to see me since I've been here". She gave everyone the same line everyday. Of course she really didn't remember, poor thing.
That is so awful mame...worried Monty is going too...And dr not listening is dangerous truly!!!Can you report them? I bet they get all the billing info correct! gonna get snow of impact tomorrow great great one more thing...
Well, I knew this would happen! Despite telling Blanche her hair appointment was for 1pm and that she didn't have to get up early or rush, she got herself all worked up anyway! Just got off the phone trying to explain what I told her yesterday!!!! Should not have told her about the appointment until today. She didn't sleep all night because she didn't want to oversleep. Then she got up early and got herself all ready, including pantyhose, yes, 96 and still wearing skirts and pantyhose!!! I can't get her to wear pants and had to convince her to try knee socks to keep her legs warm in the house. After much discussion and explaining, she was still convinced she would be late to get her hair done. Hopefully she will sit in her recliner and nod off until I bring her lunch. She was pretty pissed off that I wasn't going to run right over there when I got off the phone. Had a feeling this was going to be the start of my day!!! Sunny here but only 10 degrees. hoping it will warm up some before we head out. She has trouble breathing in the cold. Luckily we are going to miss the mess that's hitting the coast. If she saw snow, that would be the end!!! Jen, hope you don't get too much of the white stuff. Every time I have to shovel, my shoulder kills me for a few days after. Good thing it's been light fluffy stuff out here all winter! Meanwhile, Blanche is fine as long as she doesn't get rattled. Throw something out of the ordinary in the mix and she obsesses it to death, thus her confusion and dementia like behavior. She's good with her normal routine like most elderly. Can't wait to see what the rest of my day will bring!!
Mame, So sorry about your dog, heartbreaking ! I have to bit my tongue on the issue of your moms care. i am still shocked n appalled at what i have learned and experienced in the last year. I can only say i would be hollering too...they had me nearly losing my mind. Words cant express but my heart aches for you on both issues. Hang in there...hope n prayers to you! XOXO Juju
Actually what I think is that you should make a written list/care plan and request a meeting with the head staff to have them implement. Also there should be a state ombudsman you can contact as well to help mediate. I came to the point where I got bright construction paper and a sharpie marker with key points and taped above her bed, not that it did much good, but worth a try! I was almost going to hang it around her neck!
Thanks all. Haha Juju-did the paper/sharpie note taped on the wall over her bed! Taking one day at a time. Didn't even go to the NH today... We buried the dog. Hubby was gonna wait till it warmed up but, being out of work, having unemployment denied and the dog dying gave him energy to dig into the frozen ground and then even deeper of course...to bury our best friend. Was a sad day but I am glad it is done. At least the sun was out. Hubby says our life is starting to sound like a Country song... Maybe if we play it backwards we will get it all back-the dog, the job etc etc... Will see mom tomorrow. Sis and a bro went this afternoon and evening so I know she wasn't totally alone all day. Know she was happy after we had her hair done yesterday-so glad of that! We will see what tomorrow brings! G'night! Mame
Mame~Wow, I am sorry you have to deal with all this at the NH/Rehab center. You would think someone would have the common sense to see your mother's care is more involved than the level indicated and reevaluated her. Couldn't an RN at the facility do that? My heart goes out to you regarding your deal old dog. Our pets are such an emotional comfort, losing them is very hard. Deef~My daughter is doing good. No morning sickness and hopefully she won't get it. She will have an ultrasound on Friday to determine viability by seeing the heartbeat but not able to hear it at this point. Her expected due date is 9/19/14. Take care eveyone!!
THAT sounds the way to go, laminate it then put it around her neck so they can't just toss it....Or say we didn't know...It's all nuts I swear...Mom taking fp to phy ther app. for GOD only knows. He is never going to walk again? She has been gone an hour dog has howled the whole time! Yesterday morning I was up with swimsuit under coat looking at five inches of snow and ice in drive way and contemplating how I could get to the Y and therapy...Was not gonna work, had thought to take snow shovel with me and make a path all across town...That's desperate! God I am tired of all this! Jen
Ole was turning 78 and was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. The doctor said, "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds." When Ole returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs! "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" Ole nodded... "I'll tell you though, I thought I wuz gonna drop dead on dat 3rd day." "From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "Hell no, it wuz from all dat skippin!"
Cuz needed that joke hate winter even though you have it much worse there then here in NY it is suppose to get above 32 the next few days but more snow on the way great I need more snow-took a good rather bad fall trying to sdo the drive by myself rather then my son or boyfriend fell putting salt down-messed up my face -will have to say you should see the other women.
My 90 year old father wipes the floor with a dishrag. If he sees some crumbs, he eats them. He said that in WWII, he was told that the more bacteria, the better.
ya I cant get my grandma to wash her hands.... ever!! then she tries to come in when I'm cooking and put her fingers in the food to taste it. So I ask her to please not put he fingers in the food and she actually calls me nerotic and that I should go get en education cause I obiouslly dont know anything!!!! I swear she is going to drive me crazey!!
Austin we are suppossed to get 4 to 8" for saturday. I thought it was spring time. Temps are going to be 8 to 15 above. Got to love Michigan. shary congrats on twins. She must be excited.
Austin-she is excited. After the ultrasound she was weak kneed for awhile,LOL! meanwhile-i didn't know you had a twin sister. I bet you two had fun. Jen-glad you are feeling better, hope you get to the Y soon.
Hi all. Jen, I can see you shoveling your way around town! I hope the weather breaks for you soon so you can get back to the Y. Sharyn-how exciting! Twins! Congrats! Austin, warm up here-with rain tonight...so happy to have double digit temps instead of the freezing and below zero temps! I always heard that about dirt too! Meanwhile-it is great to be best friends with your sister isn't it?! My sister likes to tell ppl we are twins-but she is 6 years older than me! She looks younger tho so ppl believe her! I always say that these years of caregiving have aged me so I look older... ;) Cuz-hubby & I enjoyed the joke! Good for a laugh after a couple rough weeks! And as for spring-we all wish! Juju-care plan meeting set for Thursday this coming week. Will have a list of all my grievances! Only good thing about mom in the home is that all the sibs are going up-so someone is there with her every night at dinner. I go up at lunch time and take weekends off. I am happy they are going up for her and for them but it does baffle me why they seldom came here to the house. Baffles me, hurts me, makes me feel resentful... But they are stepping up now, so I have to appreciate that. I was feeling better after we buried the dog. Then I got all weepy again. Mom knows and asks me about the dog every day and how I am doing. She is so sweet and empathetic...yesterday while I was feeding her she saw me get teary eyed as we talked about him and as I went to get another bite of food for her, she raised up her arm and put her wrapped up hand on my shoulder and rubbed my back! That made me cry more because for that moment, I had my mom back. She doesn't come around often so it was a wonderful feeling. So, altho I have been feeling awful about putting her in a home, and awful about my dog dying, something good has come of it-even if only for a brief moment. Funny how mom can rise to the occasion once in a while...and then will be out of it again. I am thankful for this precious moment and will hold it in my memory for a long time. Hey Bobbie and Deef and all the newbies! Big sports weekend here! Syracuse University basketball vs Duke this evening and then the Superbowl tomorrow. Everyone will be glued to the TV here. Something to take things off our minds. Hope everyone is well. Mame
Mame I watched the game -rooting for SU-I lived in Syr for a year-I was yelling so much my cat got scared-basketball is a game I can get into football not really baseball puts me to sleep-got my nook and crocheting to do tonight-looking forward to the commericals,
These are too funny, but the truth of the matter is that just about every caregiver can give us some funnies including me. The truth is that if we didn't laugh at some of these things, we'd be crying all the time!!!!! I thought of compiling a record of some of the OMG happenings that go on in our home daily. It could potentially be a best seller!!!! Glad to know that there is comfort in being able to read and share these moments without being judged as a "bad person."
Jsomebody, they played an absolutely flawless game! Congrats to your team. We are going to be remembering that loss for quite awhile here in Broncoland!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Yes, we all have to laugh or we'd be crying all day, every day.
If we collated all the comments re Gross we'd have a 5000 page book!
Dropped off lunch for Blanche and told her I would be there for lunch today. She was all agitated because a niece was dropping by and her hair was a mess. They usually take Blanche for lunch so she was in a panic about going out with her hair like it was.Her hairdresser only works on Wednesday and Thursday so I told her she would have to wait for me to get her an appointment. Well the niece showed up and Blanche told her she had an appointment and no one would take her!!! Next thing I know the phone is ringing and it's one of her lady friends calling to tell me that the niece called her and was upset because she thought no one was caring for Blanche. The friend reassured her that everything was fine. Well she decided to call the hairdresser to ask her what was going on, so while I was on the phone with the first lady, the hairdresser was calling me!!!
Long story, short, I called Blanche back and told the niece to tell her she had an appointment on Wednesday at 1 and explained that I had just been there and told Blanche I was going to get her there as soon as I could. She may be 96, but still knows how to push the right buttons to get people to do what she wants!!
Needless to say, I spent the evening doing nothing after that business! I was going to call my brother in law and tell him what was going on, but decided not to put the stress on him. There's not a lot he can do from Va.
I have lots to do this morning including deciding what to make my lady for lunch. My trash guy went out of business with no notice and I have 3 weeks of trash from 3 apartments so first I need to get on the phone and find someone new to do my weekly pick up.What a pain!!
Jen, hope you are all better by now. Meanwhile, you too!
Juju, how's it going?
Sharon, how's your daughter feeling? Hope everything is well with you.
Mame, did you get some rest?
Cuz, Try to stay warm!
Bobbie, You surviving the freeze down there?
Hope you all have a great day! Got to get my rear in gear!!!
Deef
Good for you to holler about your mom's orders. This is a no win situation and I know how frustrating it is. Staff can be so clueless.
Deef! our winds are picking up t where we are gusting 40 out of the NE. Yesterday it was in the mid seventies and a beautiful sunny day and the temps have been dropping all night and morning.
We have heaters running on the boats and have the hoses ready to run the piped water off the dock when the hard freeze comes tonight.
Cuz! Glad the wife is better and how is your brother and how are you?
Jen! How are you feeling? Hope you steal some cash and go to the movies!
Meanwhile! dry dust storms. Remember them from when I lived in the wild west!
Kara! Vent and Live! It's all crazy and hope to hear from you again.
Juju! Kuli! Sharynmarie! Everybody!
lovbob
gonna get snow of impact tomorrow great great one more thing...
After much discussion and explaining, she was still convinced she would be late to get her hair done. Hopefully she will sit in her recliner and nod off until I bring her lunch. She was pretty pissed off that I wasn't going to run right over there when I got off the phone. Had a feeling this was going to be the start of my day!!!
Sunny here but only 10 degrees. hoping it will warm up some before we head out. She has trouble breathing in the cold. Luckily we are going to miss the mess that's hitting the coast. If she saw snow, that would be the end!!!
Jen, hope you don't get too much of the white stuff. Every time I have to shovel, my shoulder kills me for a few days after. Good thing it's been light fluffy stuff out here all winter!
Meanwhile, Blanche is fine as long as she doesn't get rattled. Throw something out of the ordinary in the mix and she obsesses it to death, thus her confusion and dementia like behavior. She's good with her normal routine like most elderly.
Can't wait to see what the rest of my day will bring!!
Juju
Deef~My daughter is doing good. No morning sickness and hopefully she won't get it. She will have an ultrasound on Friday to determine viability by seeing the heartbeat but not able to hear it at this point. Her expected due date is 9/19/14.
Take care eveyone!!
Yesterday morning I was up with swimsuit under coat looking at five inches of snow and ice in drive way and contemplating how I could get to the Y and therapy...Was not gonna work, had thought to take snow shovel with me and make a path all across town...That's desperate! God I am tired of all this! Jen
Ole was turning 78 and was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
The doctor said, "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."
When Ole returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
Ole nodded... "I'll tell you though, I thought I wuz gonna drop dead on dat 3rd day."
"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"Hell no, it wuz from all dat skippin!"
shary congrats on twins. She must be excited.
meanwhile-i didn't know you had a twin sister. I bet you two had fun.
Jen-glad you are feeling better, hope you get to the Y soon.
Sharyn-how exciting! Twins! Congrats!
Austin, warm up here-with rain tonight...so happy to have double digit temps instead of the freezing and below zero temps! I always heard that about dirt too!
Meanwhile-it is great to be best friends with your sister isn't it?! My sister likes to tell ppl we are twins-but she is 6 years older than me! She looks younger tho so ppl believe her! I always say that these years of caregiving have aged me so I look older... ;)
Cuz-hubby & I enjoyed the joke! Good for a laugh after a couple rough weeks! And as for spring-we all wish!
Juju-care plan meeting set for Thursday this coming week. Will have a list of all my grievances! Only good thing about mom in the home is that all the sibs are going up-so someone is there with her every night at dinner. I go up at lunch time and take weekends off.
I am happy they are going up for her and for them but it does baffle me why they seldom came here to the house. Baffles me, hurts me, makes me feel resentful... But they are stepping up now, so I have to appreciate that.
I was feeling better after we buried the dog. Then I got all weepy again. Mom knows and asks me about the dog every day and how I am doing. She is so sweet and empathetic...yesterday while I was feeding her she saw me get teary eyed as we talked about him and as I went to get another bite of food for her, she raised up her arm and put her wrapped up hand on my shoulder and rubbed my back! That made me cry more because for that moment, I had my mom back. She doesn't come around often so it was a wonderful feeling. So, altho I have been feeling awful about putting her in a home, and awful about my dog dying, something good has come of it-even if only for a brief moment. Funny how mom can rise to the occasion once in a while...and then will be out of it again. I am thankful for this precious moment and will hold it in my memory for a long time.
Hey Bobbie and Deef and all the newbies! Big sports weekend here! Syracuse University basketball vs Duke this evening and then the Superbowl tomorrow. Everyone will be glued to the TV here. Something to take things off our minds.
Hope everyone is well. Mame
Congrats sharyn, twins, wow!
Ok here, as if...love the newbie stuff...going crazy... man I passed that sign post three years ago....Jen
Another week...?....