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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Anyone who can do this and HONESTLY not find anything to gripe about is... well, lucky. But the people who do this and PRETEND that's all fun and pretty and heartwarming, with absolutely NO downside, are egostical hypocrites and liars who are probably only doing it in the first place to show the world just how freakin wonderful they are. I pity them.
Thanks Ted, a great idea, I will talk to the sil first, let him know that if she is not taken to the dr and soon, the next time she takes a fall I am going to call 911. I know what his response will be, no, no just call me I will come help you. And I am going to tell him I am not going to call him, I am going to do just what I said I would do. They already know how I am, as one day I had to be gone for about 5 hours. When i got back. she was alone, the house reeked of bm, there was shit on the furniture, on the counter tops, and all over her. Dried shit on her stomach and legs. After I got everything cleaned up, I stomped next door, Yes they live next door, and blew a gasket. I had my own rant that day. Told the daughter if I EVER come back to that again I will call the Elder Abuse Hotline, the police, and anyone else I can because this will NEVER happen again.I only get 8 hours off a week, and so far it has not happened again. I just think it is crazy that I have to go to such extremes to get anything done for her. People who go "thru the motions" of giving a damn so no one will think bad of them, just makes me tired. Makes my soul weary. I can tell ya'll this, when and if I leave here, Social Services will be called. No way would I walk away and leave her at the mercy of this selfish bunch of morons...
The "Bathing the Elderly" post has become a warm bed (not hot bed) of the old how dare we complain about this how would you like it if they said this about you ilk...I guess it is inevitable it comes up. Some feel we are being evil and terrible disrespectful to mention bowel habits of loved ones and how tired and frustrated we are with all of it...I think on some level they fear it will be them some day...Yes who want's to have to have someone handling their most intimate bodily tasks?...Is it more noble to do it with love or do it with hate and despair but do it any way? Does this matter? As long as the person is not harmed, or named in public why shouldn't we have a private place to complain about it, if they don't like the conversation they can choose to walk away from it can't they? But so often they get shirty and insist on condemning others and making sure we know just what they think of our inappropriate and selfish actions...Yes nothing quite as selfish as taking an ailing loved one into ones home and caring for there every need... I feel as long as you ARE caring for them and not doing them a harm what the hell does it matter what we say? Are we doing a great evil to not "Do it all with love" Sending bad cosmic vibes out into the Universe, spreading the negativity...disrespecting the elderly to mention we are tired and worn out and don't find joy in cleaning another feces out from under our nails? Some of us do love these people we are caring for, some don't. Some have good relationships with them and are in despair to watch them fade before our eyes. Some never connected and find this journey just another load to carry till it's end..but carry it we do. We are told on one hand not to complain and on the other if we find it so onerous to just let it go so someone who loves them or gets paid to care for them can do the same thing and what???...Not ever complain or have a moment of despair..PUhlease. This seems to speak a great deal about the persons fears of their own possible/eventual care than the imagined suffering relative in our care. It is like they are angry we are angry...but they are not here doing it, and if they are dealing with the same in their own world they are pissed we do not view it as they do?
I don't know, Are we bad people because we do all this and don't find joy in it? Sounds like a hell of a judgment call...and well stupid...
I had terrible one day where my mom was being so overactive I really worried she was gonna have a heart attack. She was pissed at me too. She never got violent but I was so lucky with her. I never wanted her or I to go through that kind of day again. Doc put her on some meds and they worked. I have no regrets about that at all.
it is also dangerous for her. She was on a three hour rant, her hands were shaking, she had made so many trips from door to door trying to get out she was sweating.....It was when I was trying to calm her down that she went off the walls even further. I did not want her to have a stroke or heart attack. What a f'd up catch 22 I am in. Damned if I leave and damned if I stay.
Since it would require she be taken to the Dr. for right meds, this is not going to happen. I have asked many times that she get a good check up , ect. and let me go in with her, because I am the one with her all the time. I was met with a lecture on how to deal with her. Apparently the daughter has major issues with meds. I do not have the energy or brain cells to figure this stupid family out. But I will keep nagging until something is done. I do not need the extra stress of the family, but it is what it is. I do not think for one moment I am a hero here, I just care what happens to her, that is why I am in the field I am in. I can not tell you all how much I appreciate the words of acknowledgement I have receiver here tonite. I so need to be heard. Thank you from the bottom of my tired heart..
Thanks Ted, my feeling exactly. This is such a bizarre situation here. They will put her in a nursing home, ( where they took her out of because she was "overmedicated") None of this family wants any hands on care with her, but sideline micro-managing.seems to be the norm. I wish I did not have a heart, a work ethic, a concenciuos (maybe I don't if I cant spell it!lol) and could just walk the hell away from this mess. Something will happen, I do have a good rapport with the son-in-law. But I will walk away before my health goes to hell. I am 60 yrs. old and not a spring chicken anymore.I just want the best care for the old thing, as mad as I am this evening, that never changes.
Ladee, i think you really need to tell her doctor about this and insist on meds. someone is getting hurt, and you are gonna wear out fast. I'm surprised and impressed that you lasted this long!
rossellamex, I would put her on something but the family will not listen to me. This day just got crazier and crazier. As she is going from locked door to locked door, trying to get out, screaming at the top of her lungs, I sat passivley by as I know any interaction only escalates the situation. I noticed she was putting things in her diaper. When i tried to check, she swung and hit me in the head. I only held her arms so she could not do this again and down she went. I thought ok, at least now I can check her diaper. She had three butter knives and a banana in her pants.... I would have given anything to have seen the look on my own face. How did she do this without me knowing, you ask, well, I did go to the laundry room, I did go to the bathroom, because this went on for almost three hours!!!!!And nothing will get done medicine wise until I tell them I am going to quit. Guess this is why I get upset when I read people putting down paid caregivers. And yes there are plenty of lousy paid caregivers, and then every now and then there are lousy families. As Dr. Phil says, no matter how flat a pancake is, it still has two sides.
Went to work today. Throat hurts but I will live. There are so many with larger problems than mine. Hubby and I are going house hunting on Saturday I think. We can't afford much but it will be ours. We think we will stay here in town for the time being and plan to move at some later time. It seems like our money will go the farthest in this place we call home. :( I really wanted to get out of here but we gotta be practical. I'm gonna have to be looking for a full time job sometime soon. I'd hate to leave where I am and it's really good for now and has been. They probably kinda expect it. Unless I can get another part time job to fill the void. It's just that darn health insurance. Gotta have it and pay way too much for it right now.
Angie, so very nice to see you. Big hugs to you my dear.
The elderly are like children?...Psychotic children, with an abhorrence to bathing... maybe good god bust yer head with a hammer....Maybe this behavior is what is behind over medication issues over the years...I am all for it!
Still here reading just not much to write of late....Hope miz and deef are doing better...hi to every one...
Hello Everyone.... Just wanted to check in and say Hey to all... I am doing OK, considering all of the events.... Just working through everything. But I know that I am strong and I know that I have a strong family here, and believe me, just knowing all of you really helps me get through my day..... Hope everyone is well.... News Flash my sister is moving to illinois, outside of st louis.... so for anyone out that way, we could possibly meet. Hopefully in the near future will be meeting with Kathy, since she is my area. Each and everyone of you are in my everyday thoughts and prayers and I will be back real soon with all of you.. Just wanted to keep you updated.... love and hugs to all... Angie
Ladeeda, yes, you have to find the right stuff (med) to give her. Otherwise... How many evenings like this one can you stand? Peach.... Enjoy yourself and think of us, poor ones, who spend their nights kissing cats! Christina... the same applies to you. Never complain about this kind of things!
oh ladee - im so sorry today is stressing you out . full moon out so they ll get crazier , she sounds like my mother in law , there would be no way i could handle her and i hope i never have to . hurry up bed time !! so u can get a break . is there anything u can give her to make her calm down and be in lala land when she gets out of hand ? sounds mean but shit i think its for the best . if it was me i prob be takin that meds instead . lazy day today didnt do much , was going to run to po but never made it . took a nap instead and now i have meat potatoes carrots all in the oven ready to come out to chow chow .. u all have a peaceul evening , be ckin again later xoxo
I hate this time of day, I absolutely hate it. From now till bedtime it is what I call "the uglies". She is into everything, talking to the top of her lungs, going in and out the front door, doing her Darth Vader impression.Went to take laundry out of the dryer, she was getting in the fridge , eating the margarine out of the tub with her hands........I threw the damned stuff away. She is pacing from door(they are locked) to door, screaming she is going to get a hammer and bust my head open.. Isn't caregiving fun and rewarding!!!!
Ted the Catskills will come back but very different Deefer definatly look into cobra for your insurance-we are have a warm spell here still lots of snow and ice around.
Peach, I know how you feel. My husband is like that too. No meds. He used to be a bull rider in the Ellensburg Rodeo, and he has never forgotten the thrill of the ride. He was a bit of a redneck when I met him. Told y'all a few weeks back, so won't repeat myself. Think you missed that one, Headbanger, but I'm sure you will come up with a good story anyway LOL! I can't wait:))), Anyway, I have not found a way to cool off my husband, and I use the broccoli rubber bands to close up bags of nuts-- like pecans and almonds, girls--. I also use them on my door handles to hook the two together when I need to hold the door open--bringing in groceries, etc. Anyone heard from SSK? Bless her heart, it was like a flash flood yesterday, and whoosh, she was gone. Please tell us if anyone has heard--here, or fb. I still do not understand how to do anything but chat on there. It drives me crazy, like I really am from another planet and I got off the wrong bus. Airbus. Hey, and I know when someone is thinking that about me, so watch out... Have to interview cgs today for the weekend shift. If anyone is available, please let me know. We have lots of fun at my house, at all hours of the day and night. Wine, See's candy, Tipperillos. JK-- I mean margaritas. Have a great day, Friends. Happy Gardening, Ted and HB, and whoever else is able to already:))) Love it! Hugs, Christina
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I feel as long as you ARE caring for them and not doing them a harm what the hell does it matter what we say? Are we doing a great evil to not "Do it all with love" Sending bad cosmic vibes out into the Universe, spreading the negativity...disrespecting the elderly to mention we are tired and worn out and don't find joy in cleaning another feces out from under our nails?
Some of us do love these people we are caring for, some don't. Some have good relationships with them and are in despair to watch them fade before our eyes. Some never connected and find this journey just another load to carry till it's end..but carry it we do. We are told on one hand not to complain and on the other if we find it so onerous to just let it go so someone who loves them or gets paid to care for them can do the same thing and what???...Not ever complain or have a moment of despair..PUhlease. This seems to speak a great deal about the persons fears of their own possible/eventual care than the imagined suffering relative in our care. It is like they are angry we are angry...but they are not here doing it, and if they are dealing with the same in their own world they are pissed we do not view it as they do?
I don't know, Are we bad people because we do all this and don't find joy in it? Sounds like a hell of a judgment call...and well stupid...
Look for the first, legitimate opportunity to call 911, get her in the medical radar, then take it from there.
I can not tell you all how much I appreciate the words of acknowledgement I have receiver here tonite. I so need to be heard. Thank you from the bottom of my tired heart..
Angie, so very nice to see you. Big hugs to you my dear.
I should be around tonight. See yas later.
love,
miz
Still here reading just not much to write of late....Hope miz and deef are doing better...hi to every one...
Angie
Peach.... Enjoy yourself and think of us, poor ones, who spend their nights kissing cats!
Christina... the same applies to you. Never complain about this kind of things!
she sounds like my mother in law , there would be no way i could handle her and i hope i never have to .
hurry up bed time !! so u can get a break . is there anything u can give her to make her calm down and be in lala land when she gets out of hand ? sounds mean but shit i think its for the best . if it was me i prob be takin that meds instead .
lazy day today didnt do much , was going to run to po but never made it . took a nap instead and now i have meat potatoes carrots all in the oven ready to come out to chow chow ..
u all have a peaceul evening , be ckin again later xoxo
I can't wait:))),
Anyway, I have not found a way to cool off my husband, and I use the broccoli rubber bands to close up bags of nuts-- like pecans and almonds, girls--. I also use them on my door handles to hook the two together when I need to hold the door open--bringing in groceries, etc.
Anyone heard from SSK? Bless her heart, it was like a flash flood yesterday, and whoosh, she was gone. Please tell us if anyone has heard--here, or fb. I still do not understand how to do anything but chat on there. It drives me crazy, like I really am from another planet and I got off the wrong bus. Airbus. Hey, and I know when someone is thinking that about me, so watch out...
Have to interview cgs today for the weekend shift. If anyone is available, please let me know. We have lots of fun at my house, at all hours of the day and night.
Wine, See's candy, Tipperillos. JK-- I mean margaritas.
Have a great day, Friends. Happy Gardening, Ted and HB, and whoever else is able to already:))) Love it! Hugs, Christina