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Morning SSK-hey, that is good to know! Do you do a constant commentary, or give a general summary of what your life is like?
I'll check it out later but gathering accounting stuff to go do Mother's taxes today.
The fund-raising idea sounds very good, like for us to finance trips to the BOAT...be back later. Have a good morning everyone:) christina
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Thanks for the laugh, headbanger, "where's my chicken?" story is funny.
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Christina...I did mention in one of my ramblings that my mother added a cow-bell to our "elderly needs attention devices" in addition to the baby monitor.

Sometimes I sit rocking back and forth listening to the cow-bell just fantasizing about how many places on the human body you can shove a cow-bell into. I can make a few more orafices that I'm pretty sure will accept a noisemaker of that size. I never run out of ideas....

Ok, so I was reminded of a restaurant story because Christina brought up restaurant fiascos. It was the first time I was awakened and saw my grandmother's dementia for the very first time. Gather round....let me tell you the tale of Perkins Restaurant.

My son was graduating from college. We were so proud of him. After the graduation we all went to have dinner. Looking over the menu. Grandma's eyes lit up because she saw that this restaurant served breakfast all day. She just wanted her bacon and eggs. She placed her own order! Not a soul noticed that there could be anything wrong, the order was placed flawlessly. Her conversation was relevant and engaging, if just a bit repeating.

The rest of the party ordered dinners. Suddenly the waitress appears bearing the platters of dinner salads. We're all chatting and happily nibbling our salads when we hear "Where is my salad?". I looked over at Grandma and said "oh my, you didn't get a salad, let me call over the waitress and see what happened." My mother says...."Breakfast doesn't come with salad, she ordered breakfast she'll be ok when her food gets here".

Ummmmm No. I don't think so.....read on!

Normally people understand these things....but not this time. Grandma starts pushing herself from the table raising her voice so people at adjoining tables can now hear her...."I didn't order no breakfast....where is my g*d damn chicken? I want my salad, I want my chicken...where is that waitress?" Grandma is on fire, she is grabbing her walker and walking into the restaurant kitchen....she is ready to grab her own chicken or drive the pegs of her walker into anyone that thinks of getting into her way.

We were all amazed. I saw a demon inside the body of my Grandmother never existed. Literally, my Grandmother is a pillar of her church and wouldn't say shit if she stepped in it. Everyone loves her.

I tried to remember exorcism techniques and was going to grab her and demand that the demons inside her tell me their names so that they could be cast out. But I didn't have a vial of holy water handy....ACK! Grandma is stalking the restaurant cook....now what do we do? Can she not be stopped? Picture Godzilla in the old japanese movies crushing the buildings...OMG...she just took out a bus-boy. I can solve the CLUE.... Grandma killed the cook, with the walker, in the kitchen.

They were pretty good about swapping her order to chicken....it was a decision that saved so many lives that night. My son was the Graduate....but his great-grandmother was the star of his dinner party.

We didn't really learn anything from this outing. Every time we take her out is a new and profoundly life changing experience. Sometimes she is good, sometimes she is possessed by the devil. Oh well it keeps life spicy!

I carry a vial of holy water now....just in case.

To this day you can hear my children teasing..."where is my chicken?"
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Free medical care;-)


If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport . . .
- you'll get a free x-ray and a pat down, and . . .
if you mention Al Queda, you get a colonoscopy.
Help
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OOOOWEE Ted. Pass me that thang! !!
Thanks Sweetums Headbanger, LInda, Miz, JAM, Dtflex, Captain:), Rosella, et al, for a righteously fulfilling day!!!
Everyone, everywhere..... Good Night :)zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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The Other Place, sounds good. In my younger days I could buy a baggie of that and all was well,
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Personally, I have one half hour left of freedom to be me. We don't know what bedtime will bring; right now, cg is reading dog stories and dog riddles, and Mother is participating, with her right eye closed, answering as prompted. What kind of doctor do you take your dog to? A Dogtor. Why did the dog go to the beach? He wanted to be a HotDog. It could be a calm settling down tonight. Earlier she was mesmerized by Perry Como singing Songs of Faith" on a MP3 player, headphones and all.
Cg slips out the door shortly after 8, thinking all is well. She does a good job, and I don't know how anyone can talk that much, from 10 am until 8, letting Mother know "she is NOT alone", and she's still talking as she walks out the door, heavy sighs. Then my heavy sighs begin.
If I hide my head under the covers, the boogyman can't find me, but my Mother can. The wires on the baby monitor, I told headbanger this morning, were frayed and causing static and pops for a week, which at times muffled the snores and whines, but not the declarations of, "I'm a prisoner, it's not fair, I don't like it here anymore, I want to go to the other place"-- where might that be, Mother? I might like to go there instead, for just a long weekend.
No, we don't have the gross outs and black mascara and restaurant fiascos that some of you do. Life is actually very civilized, with social skills, balanced meals, and clean animals,
just the way my Mother raised us. Scary and enigmatic, the power she thinks she wields, yet, over the household.
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Let's go cause some "POST" traumatic stress!
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Thanks, Miz, everyone,
I think I'll just go with the whole "Isolation" thing for now and stick with the people I know are supportive. I don't need to keep "reaching out for help" and all that, i got you guys, my counselor, and a few at my local support group that I can feel safe with, no need to risk any more idiots coming at me. What we deal with everyday doesn't leave a lot of room for the added stress and hurt that some people are more than willing to pile on, and after the damage done by the attack of the thieving siblings i don't feel like i'm up to defending myself against that kind of minipulation.
I'm just not going to allow myself to be led into that foxhole again.

But I'm up for a little site graffitti so count me in! (if my wifi connection cooperates)
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Jam and Headbanger,
I'll meet you at the dock for some drinks. Mom is about to make me go out back and scream!!!!
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I swear my mother and her hallucinations are about to give me a stroke!!!!!!!!!!
Nearly full moon....Watch out!
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hell i was typin away and looked up to see if i mispell anything shit theres no words there ! grrr now i gotta start all over again .
no i did not post my picture on f/b , sorry , one dayi know how then next day i forgot how , or its not leting me . anyway i hate my hair now , it wont do a damn t hing ! i miss my long hair waaaaaaaa , RIP u best keep ur long hair my friend .
i just pul em up in pony tail and say hell with it .
maybe tmr ill play around with my hair and curl em or whatever maybe end up cuttin it off more myself , who knows ? maybe it be back in ponytail again .
oldest daughter will be 31 yrs old next month , called and said she has something for me and will come ove for a cup of coffee in the morning and chit chat away , i sure cant wait , missin her and she lives 5 miles from here , she has 3 kids and works 2 days a week cna , busy lady she is , tmr we ll enjoy eachothers company ,
ok am gonna go try figure out how to get that picture on f/b . i sent one to rip , miz , maybe they know how ? ah willsee . nothing speical about my hair only its shorter and missin long hair waaaaaaaaaaaaaa .
it needed cut to start all over again thicken it up some . and it will grow again .
jam , happy tmr for u , hair do day . takin col with ya tmr ? get hers done too ?
ok smoke time , xooxo
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Okay, one last post this evening.......duct tape is what I need. I am answering a post here because if I answer where it is I will probably be knocked off the site entirely........don't ask what I would rather be doing in my "precious time" other than clean pee, poop, bathe, laundry, dust, sweep, vacuum, carpet clean, throw out moldy food, doctor appt. give meds, let's see what else? Put in bed, get out of bed, clean up puke........And I haven't even gotten to my own home yet!!!!!!!! Oh my.
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Jam:: Enjoy your pampering day. New color is exciting to me.

I always love to get my hair done...I will let someone shampoo my hair forever. I just love, love, love someone massaging my scalp. I want a good drink too. Something with an umbrella in it.
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I have 7 acres of land.....3 in pond....and I have on numerous occasions, been heard standing on the deck stairs screaming. Loud enough to make col look at me with that "deer in the headlights" look, but not loud enough for the neighbors across the road to hear. She caused it, she may listen to it. Took night meds down, cleaned doggie pee out from under 2 table legs....thank you dear hubby for keeping her occupied while I removed the nasty, old tube of black mascara from the bottom of your purse. You will not outsmart me..........

you are entirely correct headbanger......children indeed!! If my children had acted like the col they would still be in time-out and my baby is 31 yrs. old!

Getting a new 'do tomorrow with new color also.....can't wait, will be nice to feel like "me" again. By the way....yoo hoo Linda, have you posted pics on FB yet?

Time to relax and my glass is empty and I can hear that rum calling my name......going to get another bottle of black cherry cruzan tomorrow.....yummy!

Hope everyone has a wonderful, peaceful night.....Hugz to all!!
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Very nicely put, Christina. :)
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In reading all your early evening posts, solidarity is the term that comes to mind; an unusually bonded group of like-minded, highly intelligent, hyper-caring, empathetic, compassionate, and mutually appreciative souls. A slice of Heaven, no doubt; on earth at a lovely kitchen table, Linda.
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Well, go find that darn computer... We'll wait!!! LOL
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OMG...did I tell you that I can be seriously led on by my peers to do some website grafetti....let me paint with my words. Seriously I'll just do what I do and I'll be ejected in 5 minutes or less.

Unfortunately I switched computers last year and don't have the address of the site that booted me. I think it would be funny to have all these like minded IP addresses from all over the country getting booted for real opinions.

They are fake sites really. Now that I look back they are probably fronts for people who sell bedside commodes and bed doughnuts.
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Well, ya'll don't just sit there... what's the website? LOL
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Yes, very good idea!! We should do the same at the site Ted went to. Or just give them a piece of our minds. Hurry before I feel better!! ;)
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Stillstanding, this is a very good idea. Let's go to that site and everybody writes a post that knocks them off. Everyone of us will be kicked out, but we'll have put a seed of something in their heads!
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Headbanger, you are a comic writer. Seriously. While Jen, she should work for a newspaper.
We have amazing talents here! I can't really imagine a site which kicks out a person like you.
I wonder where the sense of humour has gone.
We always say that people that are not in our condition can't understand us; it is very sad to think that even people who "are" in our condition don't understand that there can be many reactions to a tragedy like the one we are living, because it is really a tragedy to assist to the decay of a human brain.
Everyone has his own reaction, and if someone feels - always - happy and privileged to take care of a declining old relative, I am glad for him. But he should not judge us human beings for having some moments of rebellion...
My cousin asked me the other day how I deal with it and I said I am not getting crazy thanks to my American friends and it works better than a psychotherapy.
that's all, many of you have already talked about the subject better than me.
Jam, when I go to the café with my mother I clear the table from everything there is on it; sugar bags, paper napkins... I can't let her free to do what she wants. And I bring her the food that she can eat. If I let her free, sure she would eat and drink so many absurd things that she would feel sick! this way the situation is manageable, otherwise I should give up going anywhere! My mother sees me as a watchdog.
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Maybe we should ALL get on that site and see what happens..
LOL
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It looks like we have another really good writer in our midst. Headbanger, you really have a knack. :)
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I know I wouldn't do well on a religious based site. I also would not do well on a site that would suggest that the elderly become children.

Where the hell does that come from? Children are learning. They are little sponges that soak up everything you can possibly show them. They learn control of their actions through positive and negative reinforcement. There is no comparison between a child and what my grandmother is going through.

Yes she is exhibiting strange behaviors. She "finger paints" in stuff I wish she didn't. She tears up paper. She hides things. She hoardes food and stuffs her mouth with it when she thinks no one is watching. She poops on the floor and blames my dog. She is a lint picker (and nibbler on occasion). She wears a couch protection device.

Punishing her is not going to make a difference. Praising her is not going to make a difference. The only thing that makes a difference to her is treating her with dignity with every ounce of self control I have ever exhibited. When I would like to kick some serious ass for having to disinfect the bathroom AGAIN, there is a little voice inside that tells me to respect....Respect the fact that she is forgetting or already forgotten more than I have ever known. I was a baby in her arms once and she protected me.

This doesn't mean that I shouldn't have a place to talk about the things I have to grudgingly do. I hold it in all day...I don't make her feel bad for not being able to "hold it". WTF she can't even feel it when she's doing it. We aren't potty training here. She isn't motivated to please me or please herself.

I am realistic and I am human. I live in a semi-populated county that has rules that keep people like me from screaming in my yard till I can't scream anymore...they call that public disturbance or some stupid shit. If your nice neighbor complains they send the nice Officer over to your house to tell you to shut up or else. Then they tip their hat to Grandma and tell YOU to have a nice day.
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hello you all ! was reading and feeling like we all are sitting at the table . oh wouldnt that be great if we all could do that ,
oh yes alkin about leavin elders in the car alone , i did that to dad one time , had to go pay car ins and told him i be right back , mother in law was sittin in back van , she couldnt open the door , didnt know how , but dad sat up front and went inside the bank hollarin for me , lady came into allstate and ask me if i was linda i said yes i am , she said ur dad s all over the bank looking for u , oh great ! i had to go inside the bank and told him u said u wouldntget ou t ofthe car ! he said that i took too long and he was worried , told mil that she was so good stayed in the car , she said well i couldnt open the door . i thought oh thank u jesus hell she prob be missing ! if she did . golly , now i have heard we could get arrested for leavin elders in the car alone . oh great !
coke and rum . mmm i justtook a pain pill and a zanie to edge off my nerve and pain pill for my poor back , nerve inmy back is wanting to throw me down to my knees , zannie s helpin me to smile some .
ted , screw those who puts u down , theyre not worth to be meowing at .
headbanger i am so glad u joined us and stay with us too , pleasure to have you ! now maybe if jam could give us come coke and rum i bet we all be happy campers and laugh till our side hurts . oh is it wonderful to wish that ,
lie bobie says one year we all shall have a reunion to hang on her boat . we ll have to be good girls , ( yeahright ) :-)
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headbanger if haldol doesn't work.....go with Ativan....much better.
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No offense taken, Ted. Of course. We know the score. And we know it is what it is. We are surrounded by idiots. Not on this thread but on others. We have had some idiots now and again but they are gone. (I probably should not have said that but I don't feel well and so I said it and I sure ain't perfect and all that.) Anyways, people don't get it. How dare anyone talk to you the way they did on that other site. Pisses me right off. I'm sorry you experienced that. Just what you DON'T need. As a long time member of this thread I will defend it until the day I die and the wonderful caregivers on here who put up with all the shit literally and figuratively every minute of their lives...

love,
miz
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Okay, I wasn't going to mention this, But just today i went to another site- caregiver,org- and after my first introductory post I recieved a reply that was vaguely rude, hinting that iam faking all this or something because i'm not "Man" enough to provide for my family. Even to suggesting that maybe My siblings are seeing a simalarity between me and mom, and Brooke Astor and her son. No Joke. I let that go (sort of) and then as I read through more of the posts, realized that, Yes, Everything is about blessings and "He Knows What We Can Handle", etc. I certainly don't want to offend anyone here because I love you all, but I decided to unsubscribe from that one.
Your right again, Bobbie, this site;this THREAD is leaps and bounds above the rest
Thanks to you.
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