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Enjoy your parent while you can. Find some humor in the strange, outlandish things he/she does, but don't let them catch you laughing, as it may encourage more of such behavior. Playing with food; until it looks like a kiddie construction site, combing hair with a toothbrush: remember you're dealing with an illness and, if they could do better -they would. When you start giving him/her a bed bath to clean up the urine and feces; because they just can't get out of bed at night anymore, you'll appreciate their effort to comb their hair with a toothbrush. I'd love to see my Mom hide someone's anything, steal food from the pantry or fight with me to keep mail for the mailman; but no more. She can't get out of bed, make her bed, feed herself or swallow... She struggles to breath and all I can do is watch and pray for her chest to continue rising and lowering. I see it as returing a favor. She raised me and now she's my baby. Patience, love and understanding - never run low on these things.
Ted we have to get you out of the black hole before the next snowstrom-do you have an office of the ageing in your town if you do call and see if they can help-they were not able to help me we were to rich HA HA , If you think nursing home is the answer and it may be at this time they could take her medicaide pending while the social worker applies for medicaid -but they have to use her money not yours for a while she probably is so close to being able to get on medicaide it might be worth your while to check into it-you are at the end of your rope-I had to make that decision about my husband before he died there comes a point it is either a nursing home or getting sick yourself-I feel so sorry for you you are doing all you can to keep her home and I know that you are a good person. In our town the office of the aging has a lawyer give free time once a week to help and he is good-he is my lawyer and he is able to help people-I wish I had more help for you.
I know how you feel. Mom's social security is just over the limit for medicaid, but not enough for two people to live on and pay for help to come in. It's so frustrating! I'll join the march in Washington! We can Wheel our Mom's and Dad's around in their wheelchairs and stir up some action.
good morning everyone, Sorry I haven't been here a lot lately, this internet connection isnt very good. Just another frustration to get me through the day. i haven't been doing too well lately, feeling trapped and abused, broke and ready to throw it all away. I started talking to Social Services (If Mom makes too much for medicaid, How come we can't afford ANYTHING?) Thinking maybe it's time to put her in a home and mark it down as just another failure. I'm really tired of trying so freaking hard and getting nowhere and I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself too. i'm 47 years old, broke, with no prospects for any kind of future and if I do put mom away i'll be living in my car, all the while knowing that my dad left me tons of money that I can't get a hold of. It's driving me nuts. Social Services says there is nothing they can do for ME and if I leave her alone to go out to work that may be considered neglect. great. We caregivers are an invisible bunch who don't account for anything even though everyone always tells us how much money we save the system by doing what we do. Something is very not right here and has to be changed. Maybe I'll put mom away and go on a political crusade. I'll live in my car at the foot of capitol hill with signs and a tent and get myself arrested as much as I can until someone like Micheal Moore finally takes notice. I can't read through all the posts when I do get a chance to be here so if someone wants to join me, leave a note on my wall. Miss you all, Ted
Hi, I'm glad I found this thread. I've noticed that the other discussions or questions, the person who answers, doesn't share anything about themselves, just gives some advice. They don't get to know each other or anything.
Good morning bobbie, and anyone else who's up. I have someone coming over to look at the upstairs room for rent. It would bring in some extra money which I plan to use to go out. Out where I don't know, just get out of the house. I'm not sure how it will be having someone else living here, as I have gotten used to being with just mom and I. I'll have to check her references, etc. I'm glad to hear from you, bobbie, and hope your day goes well. lv, ssk
I am up and doing a load of clothes and the sun won't be up for another hour plus. Still feeling sad and doing the best I can. Sorry if I haven't been the cheerleader I usually am. Love all you guys very much and am excited about the upcoming visit from Miz!! That's what's getting me going this week and I am grateful for it.
Going to lay low again today and I hope that everybody posts and uses the thread for what they need to do which is vent! That of course and letting everyone else know how they are making it through the day. It is a beautiful thing to see people really care about each other and friendships come and blossom just because we are/were in the same BOAT!!!
Bobbie I am sorry you are not feeling well get plenty of rest and drink lots of liquids--water mostly LOL. My daughter met her husband on a dating service pre-computer dating. When she got there a guy started talking to her and he seemed nice and they talked for a while and she thought she better stop talking to him because when her date got there he would think she had brought her brother along then this guy said are you---- and she said are you--- so they met before they met and have been married a long time one of my nephews met his wife on line and another met his girlfriend on line and my brother and his second wife met on line but because they were older they did not tell anyone this until they were married for a while. The sun was out here for a while-we are beeing advised of another snow storm next. In a larger town near here the workers in a seafood store were bored so they made a giant lobster out of snow and used food dye to color it and the local tv station picked it up and now everyone goes to that town to see it and a lot shop at the store it is huge the employees were going to figure how much an 8 foot lobster would cost.
RE: online dating, I have tried match in the past, but didn't quite dare to meet someone, I'm too shy. ONe time a friend set me up on a blind date and I got there first. I was really nervous so I ended up having a few drinks and was totally intoxicated by the time he got there! Not sure why I'm sharing this. ha ha
Linda, you are not a nut job. I have commented on some other threads and I know I'm not a nut job, at least not in that way. ;) Those of us with experience in this thing we call care giving have a wealth of information to offer other people who need help. I agree that I wish AC would step up more with answers. I feel bad for the people that post questions or ask for help and no one responds. I would feel bad and alone if that were me. And Linda, I plan on drinkin' lots of Bobbie's coffee so I will have a few cups for you. LOL you sound like me. Gotta do this and that but think I'll have a ciggie first. And then I reward myself with a ciggie after.
K, gonna work on getting the last of the thank yous and phone calls done. Then, it's cleaning and packing. Hubby and I brought some of my Summer clothes in from the garage and also my suitcase. Gotta make a list of what to take too. By the way, I called another friend and she will take care of the kitties for us. She's very reliable and loves kitties and said she will do it for free. I will pay her at least a little something or maybe bring her back something from our trip. And, heard from my nail tech friend and she said she would get me taken care of, no worries. I think things are starting to fall into place. I'm still worried about my other friend. I might try and call her sister if I can find out or remember her last name. She used to do my hair years ago. This is a small big town.
K, love yous all. Be kind to yourselves. No shoveling!!!! ;)
The headlines will read "Suicide by Wal-Mart"............. Screw the dishes, take a long, hot bath, put some nice perfume on, and veg the day away. I'm going to go play in the scrapbook room.....after I make sure the col is changed and clean up doggie pee. Have a peaceful and wonderful day to all!!!!!!!
austin , i wish u luck on the 2nd man . nothing wrong with havin alotta men friends , they pay for ur dinner and purrr at ya . maybe one day you ll run into a guy at grocries store and hit heads and exchange phone numbers ? mmmm i usualy dont say anything on other threads , maybe give a star that s about it . but then theres 2 of em i just had to say something , i was lonley like miz was . wink . good to hear from u bobbie , yep better rest up and be bouncin around when they hop on ur boat .. wooo . i sure wish i could have went too . miz dont forget pictures !! try bobbie s coffee for me plz . love u all , i need go take my bath , wait i need ciggy first . zoommmm ...
I hear that Austin, that eharmony what a waste of time..... for sure. I actually met Don on an online site. He has been a godsend for sure..... We have become best friends and he is my knight is shining armor. I have some onliine dating stories, that you would pee your pants, one of them..... a few yrs ago when i first started the online dating i had talked this one guy for a while, seemed to have all his ducks in a row, or so i thought..... we met for drinks and dinner and let me tell you, my dog has better table manners than he did, honest to god, he ate like a dog, slurp slurp slurpl...... lol.... needless to say it was a one meeting ...... not to mention he was a cop and wanted to see me a second time and said, oh you can just stay at my place....... I DONT THINK SO, never saw him again. lol lol
I don't read many other threads sometimes try to answer questions that I have experience with-I do not know why the experts do not answer some of the questions-Carol use to get involved and she gave great answers because she had taken care of about 7 people and had great insight-this thread keeps me busy and emailing my two gentlemen friends I met on line dating -one we met for lunch and he just wants to be friends and the other I have not met-I am getting away from eharmony.com they just wanted their money-I told them I was going to report them to my state gov. and they refuned some of my money and cut my contract down to 6 months which I wanted in the first place so tell everyone to stay away from that site-the one I am on now sends me closer people and more suited to me even though eharmony asked a million questions and the one I am on now tell you what ages the men are interested in so you do not waste your time with an old fart who wants a babe-yes it does happen-I wanted to tell some of them you have got to be kidding,
hahaha , oh mmm i ll take em all before i go inside walmart , uh on saturday . maybe i better not go . fear rossella will put my face on top of walmart stores . :-) haha .. trying to do dishes i just cant stay there till its done , thinkin ciggy time then slide my butt over here and ckin this baby out and played few games with in the back of my head is cryin gotta go finish those dishes , front of my head is sayin well gotta play this game first then maybe go have another ciggy and my bodys screamin dry skin go put lotion on ! back of my ass is sayin well u need a bath ! gosh i end up cant play the game , think i need a xannie , minds running in all diffrent directions . think i may put baby oil in the tub and then i dont have to fool with lotions , gonna babysit grandson today while the whole gangs go off to see monster truck shows . they ll have fun . and so will i :-) i ll have grandbaby to play with , ok will be ckin in again soon , have a good day u all xoox
Good Morning All. It has been a busy week here. Thanks for the info on Reynaud's, I will keep it in mind, my daughter has it. Have had a serious bout of Migraines this past week, hopefully they are ending. Feeling ok today. Time will tell, they just come out of nowhere. Definitely stress related. Did alot of stuff with mom this week. Finalizing the finances since dad's passing. Still have the thank you's to do. Next week will be busy to, paying off some bills, Emily has a few dr. appt's, the dog to the vet. Emily announced to me yesterday that her and the bf want to get married next summer.... Yikes.... lol lol They are waiting until he gives her the ring to announce to everyone, so for now its hush..... They have been together 21/2 yrs, just moved in together, she seems to be happy and he is good to her and to mom and i too.... lol She is a package deal lol lol......Mom is mom....lol.... Just feeling kind of sad lately, losing papa, emily moving out and my sib's, when its like i am only child.... but on a good note, i have been contact with a couple of girls i worked with and hopefully getting together wed for dinner, that will be nice. Also making plans to meet Kathy too.... very excited about that. Well off to accomplish something today, what i dont know. Just wanted to say hey to everyone and that all are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope everyone has a great day.... love to all Angie
no Linda, you are one of the sane ones! I was just wondering....I had been writing with someone who clearly was having some issues with a family member and was giving her some ideas to try which she seemed to appreciate....and along comes someone who starts spouting about xanax being a wonderful med for anxiety but valium is bad......same classification of drug, used for same thing usually, doctor's option......anti-depressants are BAD for the elderly.....huh? So that was my pondering question for the day. Don't go to Wal-Mart.......if you do, would you like xanax or valium to get you through.........or how about a big ole margarita? Hugz!!!!!!
miz ,, yes it was a pleasure talking to u . there was some things i wanted to ask you but kept forgeting , ah well not imporatant . we were 2 long lost soul and needin to find the soul to yack at . :-) soon u ll be going to paraidse and have a wonderful time . peachie , bobbie , chill out , headbanger . rip , j somebody . pirate , ture colors , where are you !!!! deflex ! deefer are u ok ? angi (hugs) .... am i missing someone eles . oh yes TED !!! JAM i still love you , :-)
jam .. u calling me nut job ? yeah i gave advice to debbo on another thread . i wont do it again . seems its goingin one ear out to another but she did thank for the advice and will put her crap in bag and throw it on doc s desk , and another advice on husband died 4 weks ago and took her to living asisnt place . that threw me off . thought that was rude for her to be doing that . damn . is that what u re sayin ? im the nut job ? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa think i ll go runnin to walmart then .
Jam, I know that is true. Hopefully the AC people will step in and guide them to good advice. Sun is shining here too. It makes such a difference.
Austin, I've never had pain from my Raynaud's. I am fortunate. Maybe it's not that bad yet. But, I will keep your info. in mind. I do know that my doc said something about one of his patients losing toes or something. OMG that would suck. I do know that mine is getting worse and the cold weather does not help. One of the good reasons to move to a warmer climate.
Thanks, Linda, for the chat last night. It helped me a lot from feeling sad and lonely.
Where is our captain this morning??
Let's see if I can get all my thank yous and phone calls I have to make out of the way today. Hubby and I plan to get out and about tomorrow. One week from today is boat time!! Yay!!
Good morning all.....sun is shining so I am hoping for a wonderful, new day. I have a question........is it just me or are there some really nut job people giving advice to others here on some of the other threads? Just wondering................................
Hi again they cut me off I heard on the NYC station they have a treatment for Ranauads-I know I spelled it wrong it is when you have cold hands and the fingers turn blue-some of you have it -they give botox injections and right away the fingers turn pink and the pain and tingling go away-hope that help those who suffer with this problem,
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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I'm really tired of trying so freaking hard and getting nowhere and I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself too. i'm 47 years old, broke, with no prospects for any kind of future and if I do put mom away i'll be living in my car, all the while knowing that my dad left me tons of money that I can't get a hold of. It's driving me nuts.
Social Services says there is nothing they can do for ME and if I leave her alone to go out to work that may be considered neglect. great. We caregivers are an invisible bunch who don't account for anything even though everyone always tells us how much money we save the system by doing what we do. Something is very not right here and has to be changed. Maybe I'll put mom away and go on a political crusade. I'll live in my car at the foot of capitol hill with signs and a tent and get myself arrested as much as I can until someone like Micheal Moore finally takes notice.
I can't read through all the posts when I do get a chance to be here so if someone wants to join me, leave a note on my wall.
Miss you all, Ted
I'm glad to hear from you, bobbie, and hope your day goes well.
lv, ssk
I am up and doing a load of clothes and the sun won't be up for another hour plus.
Still feeling sad and doing the best I can. Sorry if I haven't been the cheerleader I usually am.
Love all you guys very much and am excited about the upcoming visit from Miz!!
That's what's getting me going this week and I am grateful for it.
Going to lay low again today and I hope that everybody posts and uses the thread for what they need to do which is vent!
That of course and letting everyone else know how they are making it through the day.
It is a beautiful thing to see people really care about each other and friendships come and blossom just because we are/were in the same BOAT!!!
lovbob
heard from sceret sister . her father in law passed away few days ago and had funeral today , her dad is doing ok ...
thought id let ya know . heard we re going to get a messy snow and ice storma comin mon tue weds , deefer! i need u here to shovel . lol .
xoxo
K, gonna work on getting the last of the thank yous and phone calls done. Then, it's cleaning and packing. Hubby and I brought some of my Summer clothes in from the garage and also my suitcase. Gotta make a list of what to take too. By the way, I called another friend and she will take care of the kitties for us. She's very reliable and loves kitties and said she will do it for free. I will pay her at least a little something or maybe bring her back something from our trip. And, heard from my nail tech friend and she said she would get me taken care of, no worries. I think things are starting to fall into place. I'm still worried about my other friend. I might try and call her sister if I can find out or remember her last name. She used to do my hair years ago. This is a small big town.
K, love yous all. Be kind to yourselves. No shoveling!!!! ;)
love,
miz
Screw the dishes, take a long, hot bath, put some nice perfume on, and veg the day away. I'm going to go play in the scrapbook room.....after I make sure the col is changed and clean up doggie pee. Have a peaceful and wonderful day to all!!!!!!!
i usualy dont say anything on other threads , maybe give a star that s about it . but then theres 2 of em i just had to say something , i was lonley like miz was . wink .
good to hear from u bobbie , yep better rest up and be bouncin around when they hop on ur boat .. wooo . i sure wish i could have went too . miz dont forget pictures !! try bobbie s coffee for me plz .
love u all , i need go take my bath , wait i need ciggy first . zoommmm ...
trying to do dishes i just cant stay there till its done , thinkin ciggy time then slide my butt over here and ckin this baby out and played few games with in the back of my head is cryin gotta go finish those dishes , front of my head is sayin well gotta play this game first then maybe go have another ciggy and my bodys screamin dry skin go put lotion on ! back of my ass is sayin well u need a bath ! gosh i end up cant play the game , think i need a xannie , minds running in all diffrent directions . think i may put baby oil in the tub and then i dont have to fool with lotions ,
gonna babysit grandson today while the whole gangs go off to see monster truck shows . they ll have fun . and so will i :-) i ll have grandbaby to play with ,
ok will be ckin in again soon , have a good day u all xoox
I am fine, just conserving energy because I don't feel up to snuff
linda, jam didn't mean you. Your advice is sound.
I love it.
love all you guys and hey Miz... getting there!
want to save up energy for Miz!!
lovbob
So that was my pondering question for the day.
Don't go to Wal-Mart.......if you do, would you like xanax or valium to get you through.........or how about a big ole margarita? Hugz!!!!!!
peachie , bobbie , chill out , headbanger . rip , j somebody . pirate , ture colors , where are you !!!! deflex ! deefer are u ok ? angi (hugs) .... am i missing someone eles . oh yes TED !!! JAM i still love you , :-)
is that what u re sayin ? im the nut job ? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa think i ll go runnin to walmart then .
Jam, I know that is true. Hopefully the AC people will step in and guide them to good advice. Sun is shining here too. It makes such a difference.
Austin, I've never had pain from my Raynaud's. I am fortunate. Maybe it's not that bad yet. But, I will keep your info. in mind. I do know that my doc said something about one of his patients losing toes or something. OMG that would suck. I do know that mine is getting worse and the cold weather does not help. One of the good reasons to move to a warmer climate.
Thanks, Linda, for the chat last night. It helped me a lot from feeling sad and lonely.
Where is our captain this morning??
Let's see if I can get all my thank yous and phone calls I have to make out of the way today. Hubby and I plan to get out and about tomorrow. One week from today is boat time!! Yay!!
Love you all and hugs to all.
miz