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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I'm toast!!! 2 hours on the second floor porch roof, throwing a couple tons of snow over the edge. Then back to the yard to snow blow the hard compacted snow out into the yard. Mom behaved very well while I was outside. I only fell once when I slid on my butt down the ledge under the dormer trying to climb back in the attic window. Lex and I were laughing so hard I couldn't get back up! Now my arms, hands, ribs, hips, and bad shoulder are screaming, but at least the roof won't cave in. Gonna need to ice that shoulder tonight for sure! Bobbie, You feeling any better? Cabbage!!! Anything made with cabbage! Never met anyone it didn't work for. SS, Rossella is right. Soon you will realize that if you stop thinking about help from sibs, you will have one less thing to stress you out.They aren't going to change, so cut your losses and give yourself the gift of one less thing adding to your stress!
I believe it is Nutmeg that is the spice used for Sweedish Meatballs. Curry will also make you go..it is a natural laxative.
My mom is not eating so much any more...the poopfests where getting to be a big hassle...but since she is eating less, it's creating less havoc in the last few weeks. But boy she can still dial my phone number a million times with a million of sick sounding loud hellos repeated over and over..how insane...I just cannot leave work and get to her house quick enough...no sense left in that tiny senseless brain...she cannot realize I am leaving work around 6 and have to jump on the freeway and fight traffic untill I get there around 6:30 to 7:00 depending on when I actually leave work......ack...so tired of it all! She is just languishing and keeping that little bit of control she thinks she can still muster up over me...just a matter of time...Father Time will win in the end.
Rosella, Jam, Deefer: I find that my Swedish meatballs, a al Scandia Restaurant, really help my Mother go. At one time, they were causing my husband to be deathly ill. I think it was the allspice, so I tossed it and bought a new one. However, from time to time throughout our marriage--not now, but in the beginning first 10 years when he was SO difficult to train--I would offer to make him Swedish meatballs, and he would quickly shape up. He is so perfect now, I don't know what I would do without him...probably go to the BOAT!! Whoo Hoo!!
RE: Siblings and relatives. I have reached the peace of mind. My brother comes every 3 weeks or every month and he stays for 2 or 3 hours. Apart from that, he NEVER calls. My mother's siblings: MISSING. They don't call they don't come. I feel my mother and I are the only family we both have and occasionally there are some "strangers" making a phone call. I live much better, now. Happiness is in resignation. RE: poop. You have to find that particular food that stimulates poop. For my mother it is the semolina. When she eats it, the same evening she goes to the bathroom. It took 2 years for us to discover which was! TED TAKE THOSE DAYS OFF FOR ...SAKE!
Hi everyone SS stand your ground you know what is best for your Mom the less meds the better we had some home care nurses that I had to take xanax after they left they would go through his meds and mix everything up I course he did not tell them at the time but bitched about it to me. Bobbie your idea calling someone help a lot getting me out of the dark hole-she also had cabin fever Angie I am so sorry about your daughter that is so sad.Linda hope your PA feels better earaches are so uncomfortable. Ted glad you were able to check in and am glad you are getting a break soon. We had another snow storm think it is 7 or 8 and am glad my son does my drive a friend of our pays 200 dollars every time his is done.
Sorry, Bobbie, about getting you roused from your sickbed today and ragging on my simply selfish snobby sibling. I'm sorry you don't feel well. Hope you are not getting the same bug. I hope you don't have "high altitude flatus expulsion" from being on the racks. That is not good. Have you gotten the boat down yet? oops, just got an email from sis. I did say to her early this morning, when she asked about coming tomorrow and had I 'dismissed' one of the caregivers, she didn't understand what I meant. I told her to go home when her shift was over because she did not have the patience to get Mother to bed. And with having 3 more people in my house, I had a lot more to tolerate than just Mother, so her saying she could not drive in the wind seemed so petty to me, I just could not register it as a dilemma in my brain. she's probably going to make defensive, whiny comment. gotta go and then take my walk. Hugs, christina
Hey everyone, had a chance to get to the library so I'm checkin in to let you know that i'm still kickin'.. seriously afraid that i'm losing my sh!t, but don't see any way out of this maze except to keep banging my head against these walls and scream at the top of my lungs.
Please take care of yourselves, all of you, please.
Jen, I'd go for the Customer service position. Just think of the revenge you could get. Say someone is returning a box of condoms; you accidently turn on the paging system and ask pharmacy if you can take a return on the 100 size box of Trojans that were purchased last week and only 20 of them have been used. The guy isn't returning those, just the unused ones. Huh? Oh, what size are they? We only return the humongous ones. No, Hal in pharmacy, these are the "little Dickie" ones. Junior Trojans. Oh, OK, Hal. I'll ask him if he just wants to do an exchange for the larger size." See what I mean, Jen? There are possibilities. Love, christina
Looking at on line job information for working in the grocery store: I can risk burns, in the bakery, slips, in produce, being hit by falling merchandise in general store clerking, DEAL WITH OXYCONTIN WANTING GUN WAVING JUNKIES in the PHARMACY, bag rancid meat for garbage in meat dept, risk allergies in floral or just general harassment in customer service....So which should it be? I am leaning towards allergies and burns...Anyone got any ideas?
Bobbie - you can bring a camera over here and show MY siblings what total as@#oles they are neglecting their parents? I have no relationship with either one so I have nothing to loose.
Deef you could be talking about my Mom with the poop issues. She's not manic though. But she does get obsessive about pooping. She takes all the things you listed as well. Should we give a mild laxative when they are like this? I know she is uncomfortable
AMEN bobbie.................I still have not spoken with anyone in my family except my son and his wife. I still have not tried to mend fences with my granddaughter.....she is the one who attacked me by listening to her mother's lies and I am still just too raw to speak to her. And I don't know that I will any time real soon. I am just sick to death of all these people who sit back and do nothing and then criticize the first chance they get.
Got 7 thank yous done this morning. About 7 more to go. That will be tomorrow morning's project. Hubby's not feeling well. Thinks it's a cold. I hope he gets well quick. Boat's a callin'!!
Christina, What Bobbie said!!! Jam, Mom gets a stool softener every morning and the tasteless non thickening powder every day, but still has poop issues. All the meds block her up, and the PD has robbed her of the ability to push it out. That combined with the dementia, and you have a case of major anxiety, etc., when she can't go. She is a manic depressive and very OCD and both of these disorders are magnified many times by the PD and the dementia. When she sees her doctors, they cannot believe how "busy" she is, and how constant it is. Even with calming meds, she never stops. Bobbie, we tried clothes folding etc., she gets distracted every other second and nothing keeps her focus anymore, except on rare , lucid occasions. She's just a dynamo of business and destructiveness. Will eventually have to get clothes without buttons, as she is twisting them all off. Nothing seems to engage her attention for more than a minute or two. Anyway, back to laundry and outdoor cleanup! Sun is shining brightly and it is gorgeous outside!!! Bobbie feel better. Everyone else, have a great day!
OK.... Had to speak up and I don't feel well so here goes: Christina: call your idiot sister and tell her to F**K the finish on her bs car and get over there! Tell her she's selfish and clueless and she'd better get with the program or there is going to be hell to pay. Don't bottle it up. There's no point and it will hurt you significantly. Ask your shrink. If she freaks tell her you'll give her something to freak about and that you're packing mom up and dropping her off for 2 weeks so you don't go nuts. I don't care if your sister lives in a car and I suspect that she doesn't. The caregiver can go to. Next. The big difference with someone who has siblings and one who doesn't is that I don't have the baggage and conflicts that come with all of that. Good or bad, that's how I feel. I read too many of your stories and I want to shove a camera in their faces and say: why are you neglecting your mother and abusing your sister? Or in Ted's case, abusing your brother. Ok, back to laying low. lovbob
Hey Jam--do you give her Metamucil? Orange flavored. It's the morning drink around here. Also lots of fresh pears and prunes. Give her a "ONES" wrapped prune. She'll think it's Candy.
Christina, just think pillow therapy....kinda gives you the warm fuzzies. I have spoiled myself with Gevalia coffee for years..with hubby retiring it will be back to Folger's. Oh well, I can live with that in exchange for a happy husband.
Linda I'm thinking a giant-sized pitcher of margaritas sound absolutely the most "proper" thing to do........with large frosty glasses and lots of margarita salt.......yummmmmmm! And with that we should also have mounds of spiced, boiled cold shrimp and crab legs..(sorry bobbie) Back to reality..........I'm not getting any surprises left for me....col has been trying to hide her wet drawers but insisting she is dry and she has changed. I let her get away with it after her bath yesterday just to see if she was telling the truth.....but sure enough about 4 hours later when I insisted on changing she is soaked. She is now constipated so I get to deal with that...won't drink water even though she likes the flavored I bought her, won't take a couple tablespoons of olive oil (yes it works), all she has been putting in her mouth is nutritional drinks, oatmeal with ice cream mixed in, and glasses of milk with ice cream. Right now it is 19 degrees with frosties everywhere...tomorrow supposed to be 48 degrees......will send some of that east. Going to St. Louis Monday to play at Harrah's.....yippee! Hubby is going to retire on a disability pretty darn quick......what will I do with him underfoot all the time? Maybe get a little help with his mom.......told him he will not lie around being a lazy butt and sleeping his days away......will make momma a very unhappy person if that happens.....:) Hope you all have a peaceful day.....Hugz!!!
Thank you, Miz. I'm glad you agree. Starbucks is just so overrated, don't you think? Makes me sick to my stomach, it's so dark. Especially on a day like today, when I don't think my body even digested my dinner from last night. I can handle "Breakfast Blend", which is for sissies, but have to be a sissy in one area of my life. I think that's OK.:)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Bobbie, You feeling any better?
Cabbage!!! Anything made with cabbage! Never met anyone it didn't work for.
SS, Rossella is right. Soon you will realize that if you stop thinking about help from sibs, you will have one less thing to stress you out.They aren't going to change, so cut your losses and give yourself the gift of one less thing adding to your stress!
Curry will also make you go..it is a natural laxative.
My mom is not eating so much any more...the poopfests where getting to be a big hassle...but since she is eating less, it's creating less havoc in the last few weeks. But boy she can still dial my phone number a million times with a million of sick sounding loud hellos repeated over and over..how insane...I just cannot leave work and get to her house quick enough...no sense left in that tiny senseless brain...she cannot realize I am leaving work around 6 and have to jump on the freeway and fight traffic untill I get there around 6:30 to 7:00 depending on when I actually leave work......ack...so tired of it all! She is just languishing and keeping that little bit of control she thinks she can still muster up over me...just a matter of time...Father Time will win in the end.
I have reached the peace of mind.
My brother comes every 3 weeks or every month and he stays for 2 or 3 hours. Apart from that, he NEVER calls.
My mother's siblings: MISSING. They don't call they don't come.
I feel my mother and I are the only family we both have and occasionally there are some "strangers" making a phone call.
I live much better, now. Happiness is in resignation.
RE: poop. You have to find that particular food that stimulates poop. For my mother it is the semolina. When she eats it, the same evening she goes to the bathroom. It took 2 years for us to discover which was!
TED TAKE THOSE DAYS OFF FOR ...SAKE!
LOVEBOAT, VENTBOAT, PASTABOAT, WINEBOAT!!!
LIBRARYBOAT--OK!?!?
HUGS, CHRISTINA
oops, just got an email from sis. I did say to her early this morning, when she asked about coming tomorrow and had I 'dismissed' one of the caregivers, she didn't understand what I meant. I told her to go home when her shift was over because she did not have the patience to get Mother to bed. And with having 3 more people in my house, I had a lot more to tolerate than just Mother, so her saying she could not drive in the wind seemed so petty to me, I just could not register it as a dilemma in my brain. she's probably going to make defensive, whiny comment. gotta go and then take my walk. Hugs, christina
Please take care of yourselves, all of you, please.
See what I mean, Jen? There are possibilities. Love, christina
Peace out,
-SS
Should we give a mild laxative when they are like this? I know she is uncomfortable
I hear ya with all of the issues you and your mom are dealing with. Man, that's a load, no pun intended.
Alz store has dementia friendly clothes too.
lovbob
Jam, Mom gets a stool softener every morning and the tasteless non thickening powder every day, but still has poop issues. All the meds block her up, and the PD has robbed her of the ability to push it out. That combined with the dementia, and you have a case of major anxiety, etc., when she can't go.
She is a manic depressive and very OCD and both of these disorders are magnified many times by the PD and the dementia. When she sees her doctors, they cannot believe how "busy" she is, and how constant it is. Even with calming meds, she never stops. Bobbie, we tried clothes folding etc., she gets distracted every other second and nothing keeps her focus anymore, except on rare , lucid occasions. She's just a dynamo of business and destructiveness. Will eventually have to get clothes without buttons, as she is twisting them all off. Nothing seems to engage her attention for more than a minute or two.
Anyway, back to laundry and outdoor cleanup! Sun is shining brightly and it is gorgeous outside!!!
Bobbie feel better. Everyone else, have a great day!
lovbob
Christina: call your idiot sister and tell her to F**K the finish on her bs car and get over there!
Tell her she's selfish and clueless and she'd better get with the program or there is going to be hell to pay.
Don't bottle it up. There's no point and it will hurt you significantly. Ask your shrink.
If she freaks tell her you'll give her something to freak about and that you're packing mom up and dropping her off for 2 weeks so you don't go nuts. I don't care if your sister lives in a car and I suspect that she doesn't. The caregiver can go to.
Next.
The big difference with someone who has siblings and one who doesn't is that I don't have the baggage and conflicts that come with all of that.
Good or bad, that's how I feel.
I read too many of your stories and I want to shove a camera in their faces and say: why are you neglecting your mother and abusing your sister? Or in Ted's case, abusing your brother.
Ok, back to laying low.
lovbob
Give her a "ONES" wrapped prune. She'll think it's Candy.
Back to reality..........I'm not getting any surprises left for me....col has been trying to hide her wet drawers but insisting she is dry and she has changed. I let her get away with it after her bath yesterday just to see if she was telling the truth.....but sure enough about 4 hours later when I insisted on changing she is soaked. She is now constipated so I get to deal with that...won't drink water even though she likes the flavored I bought her, won't take a couple tablespoons of olive oil (yes it works), all she has been putting in her mouth is nutritional drinks, oatmeal with ice cream mixed in, and glasses of milk with ice cream.
Right now it is 19 degrees with frosties everywhere...tomorrow supposed to be 48 degrees......will send some of that east. Going to St. Louis Monday to play at Harrah's.....yippee!
Hubby is going to retire on a disability pretty darn quick......what will I do with him underfoot all the time? Maybe get a little help with his mom.......told him he will not lie around being a lazy butt and sleeping his days away......will make momma a very unhappy person if that happens.....:) Hope you all have a peaceful day.....Hugz!!!