Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Got dr OK to start the ankle exercises and I don't need to wear the boot in house, only out side. six weeks and it should be totally healed yeah! :) So that is my time out. I will apply at our local Safeway it is close and everyone is nice there. May not be easy but I can do it. Least it isn't an office job, didn't like that after a while, repetitious and office politics wearing...
Speaking of wearing, mom still upset about grpa wearing a food stained shirt to DR office this morning, thinks it makes her look like an incapable caregiver...it does. But then the Dr office is incompetent so between in capable and incompetent...It is harder on her, she really is in denial about how much changed he is, not the fastidious competent father she knew...I don't know why she can't just deal with it. but then she doesn't hate him like I do. For her, bad news really is bad news...and yet she is worn out of the care-giving already. Yells now, she never used to much before, me I never yelled. I just ignored him if he was being stupid and stubborn and made him: put on the clean shirt, take the medication.. what ever any way...

Hope everyone is doing well...well as well as....you know....

Glad you're glad rossella!! No Kidding!!
What am I supposed to rub the brass with? aside from a good rag?
Got the dinghy running again and took a nice ride.
love the water!
lovbob

Night Rossella. :)

Jam, Austin, I agree.
Angie, I'm glad you are back.
Bobbie, in order to clean your boat's brass you need a soft rag and a strong hand!
I see we are going full sail, I am happy, I go to bed!

Awww angie, i know it hurts. Your dad would just hug you and tell you that it takes a minute.
You're amazing and it takes time.
Miz will tell you and Jam and and and
Miz how are you feeling?
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the above brought to you courtesy of the Cat]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] and that

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I don't know how she did it but
-just saw a developer page

lovbob

"Suck it up already". That sounds like Sir.

Hey, back to the bell, I now "HOP" to a ringtone! Speed dial is a wonderful thing. For the last few years a certain little tune tenses me right up. Works even when I'm in public & hear someone's phone playing the same few notes. What now???
oh... not me!

I really need it to say"... take a deep breath, kid ..."
"Suck it up" would be another good ringtone.

On the other hand there are times when we do better phone than being face to face. He'll ring me when I'm downstairs working & we'll have a great conversation!'
You think maybe it's b/c I encourage him to turn down the TV when on the phone???

Good afternoon everyone..... Well i finally got motivated today, cleaned up my house.... yes it was nasty lol lol.... Feeling a little better. Mom is just so lost, so I am trying to spend alot of time with her. I do have to say she makes me laugh. It is good, we talk alot about papa and all of his stunts that he would pull on the two of us. My days have been so very dark! and I miss him terribly, but i know what he would say to me right now.... " suck it up already".... lol

Hi everyone just a few ideas we had sheep when I was a kid and they do not all follow the leader they do have a mind of their own that is why when you have a bunch you have a dog to herd them or they are all over the place Cuz thank you for reminding us what is important I heard that Crowe changed his ID I think you call it I can no longer reach his wall and I hope he is doing ok I was happy to get his sage advice Christina why did the doc take her off her meds it seemed like it was more managable when she was on them and I needed meds when taking care of the husband my NP encouraged me to when he really stressed me out and even now I take xanax when I need to. I hate to see Bobbie picked on she rocks and she does not have to come back here the same as I do not but I feel some can use all the unasked for and unwanted experience I developed over time-I did not cope well at times but did get the job done. When I was a kid scraped many a burnt piece of toast it was that or go hungry. We are a family of people just trying to get through the day and stay out of the black hole if I had not found this group 3 yrs. ago I hate to think how I would have been able to cope-to have complete strangers who had more than their share of heartbreak give me encouragment and support was so great.

Angie ...
you know where the term Bell Hop came from, huh?
I sure understand the missing factor.

It's good when things come to a head, and the cleansing begins. It is good if one can come to that first, instead of recrimination, defending, hopping on board, jumping off. True and honest communication, baring of the soul. Thinking before speaking, and thinking about the other person's perspective.
You ALL have what it takes. Bravo.

It's good to hear from you, Angie.
I'm now watching a soap opera The Days of Our Lives, (which I have become addicted to while caregivig) and reading on here during commercials. My mom's Alz is at the stage where I have to hold her hands and walk backwards while she walks forward, like dancing. she usually laughs while we walk.

Hello to all.
I just want to put my 2 cents in for what it is worth... lol lol I want to say thank you bobbie for starting this thread.... And thank you to all my angels on here. Honestly I do not what i would have done not having this over these past 7 months, although dad has passed, i am still faced with caregiving for mom. Although she can clean herself, and all that, i still take care of her as i did while i was caring for dad as well. The finances, the house, the sibs that think i am out for the jackpot lol what jackpot .... Mom and Dad are my jack pots, although this work is gruling and not very rewarding at times it has been a life saver to me. Just knowing that I and mom are not alone, is just an amazing feeling. I miss my dad more than ever, miss him ringing his bell at 2 am , just to see how long it would take for me to get to him and he would laugh and i would be like OMG, you did not.. lol The times that i would have my own pity potty .... wondering where is my life..... i have given everything up, my entire life as we all have... So to have each and everyone of you as a part of my life has been a blessing from the higher power. I have been doing all of the paperwork and finances in re: to papa's passing. Mom is just beside herself..... I am glad that i am here for her..... As much as she aggrevates me and gets on my nerves, and no worry i have no prob telling her, we argue , dont speak for about an hour then we hug and cry together. I love you all.... Angie

You're not rambling Jam and I thank you for your support.
Hey Rossella! Nice brass. Wait till you see the real brass!
What should I use to polish it up? I think you told me but I wasn't there on my list yet. Now I am.
We have Bronze and Brass on the boat.
Brasso?
what do you suggest my Italian friend?
never left boat, just was in my cabin watching Jack Benny....
Jam, while you're in Wal Mart get that Jack Benny collection for 2.50!! worth it!
I have my evening all planned.
Wash some teak, Jack Benny episode. wash some teak....
lovbob

Good Morning again! I have been standing in my bathroom putting on "my face", I do a lot of thinking then, and pondering all of the posts that have appeared here lately and I began to see that some have lost perspective on what this site and this "thread" is really all about. This particular thread was started by bobbie because she was confronted with something and was looking for anyone else that might be able to help her understand why and what do I do now and is there anyone else out there going through this? I did that same thing, so did all the rest of you.....I can't name names because I know I would forget someone. Someone always has to be the leader and it just so happens this one came from bobbie.....there are other threads out here that also have "leaders". At different times and for different reasons we all stumbled across this thread because we were attempting to find out if there was anyone else out there experiencing the same things or are we out here alone? We are here to lend a shoulder and to NOT sit in judgment on what one might do or not do with handling our loved one. We are not looking for medical advice....go talk to the doctor for that.....we are just looking for a "hey I experienced that and this is what worked for me". Isn't that how this thread continued to grow? Doesn't mean you have to listen or even do what is offered. If friendships don't start to form from this type of camaraderie then there is a problem....it can't be helped. bobbie threw out the lifeline of the BOAT....she didn't have to stay around after her care giving was over, but she did, and as for me I appreciate being able to sit back and think there is a life after the care giving is over. Almost everyone here is taking care of a loved one in their home, and it sometimes seems intimidating for others who might choose a different route to take. I do it because my husband asked me to......the best thing for the col? How about what is best for me and my health? I don't think so......if I had my way I would have her in a nursing home where she wouldn't drink coffee 24/7 and pee in her pants all day long, where I didn't have to constantly wipe up dog pee and clean it off the carpet, where I didn't have to wipe her butt constantly, give her meds, make sure she eats, clean her house, buy groceries she won't eat, explain over and over and over and over, bathe her, the list goes on and on. Doesn't mean I don't care....it just means her day-to-day care is too overwhelming at times and where is my life and why do I have to put it on hold?
Could someone please name a group that doesn't have a leader? As for me I say thank you bobbie for starting this thread and thank you to all the new friends I have met who have offered me that shoulder and have let me know that I am not alone out here. If, on occasion, I may need a mental slap then I came here looking for one. If someone else thinks that is wrong, then I say again, look up into the right corner of your computer screen and you will see that little red x. Push it.
Sorry for rambling on friends.....now I will take myself and my leftover headache to Wal-Mart.....my least favorite place in the world. Hugz to all!

SSK!
Stash a couple balls, read a post. Stash a couple balls, read a post.... stash....
Jen!! glad you're here. get that ankle healed, get a job at walMart and you'll be running the store inside of 24 months @ 50+k a year. Not kidding.
Sux to get there, but i have friends who went there for work because in this economy...... etc. and they are reaping the rewards of slaving for the Mart. hard won, but they're doing it.
My respect for sticking it out.
lovbob

Hi everybody!
We could not live without the old and good Seroquel. We adjust the dosage (ranging from a minimum of 1 to a maximum of 2,5) according to the days, but without it we would live a very unconfortable life, my mother included.
The (good) neurologist who visited her several months ago, said that Aricept was useless in her case, but I want to take her to an Alzheimer specialized centre and see if I get a second opinion.
I see the captain is on the quarterdeck again... That's alright!
I kept the brass as shining as I could, in the meantime!

Aww, Peach. That's so sweet. I'm glad you have a sweet one cause you deserve that.

Yep, miz, both are true stories! His Momma was a pistol...guess that would make him a son of a gun! (old joke!)

She did NOT like me for a long time...told me that I "stole her baby"! I told her that she cold have him back! (He was being a real stinker at that time of his life!) She said, "Nah, that's alright...you keep him!" She just didn't know what a really good guy he'd grow in to!

thanks, I'm trying to put away the christmas decs, and keep reading on here instead.

Hmm day starts out nice and choppy...mom has to take grandpa to dr for regular bllod test, he was wearing a dirty shirt...she didn't check, so he has a head cold, so he is even more out of it than usual, she is pissed and upset and it is gonna come down on me becasue I also have an appt. check on the broken ankle issues...which was also her fault..but take it out on me.
I spray Lysol on EVERYTHING!!! This situation with a head cold would be unbearable....
Hello to miz and bobbie and Christina and ss and ss and Linda an Peachie and all who are up this bloomin morning.
I really hope I can get the job at Safeway when I apply...if not Walmart is always hiring...Gotta do something...Have to have money coming in some how...It isn't gonna fall outa the sky and I can't bring myself to try to get disability or do welfare...Just gotta make it work....

Thank you, Bobbie. I appreciate your input. I do have help now, but not round the clock. Sometimes 3 of us cannot handle her with the times split. This morning, she is fine, 12 hours after the debacle, and says she is starting to remember something about last night. She feels badly, I know she can't help it, I have had the dementia talk with her. She is not one for confrontations, speaking up, working things out. She would rather pretend everything is OK--sis is the same, but that's different. I won't be taking care of her someday. I would like my life back, my home, my simple but efficient days. Wouldn't that be nice. Being run down doesn't help, and I wake up every day thinking I will try to remember to stoke the fire and gas the car. sometimes I do, but not consistently. Going to the chiropractor and then to md for my snotty nose, then seeing a girlfriend at 2. Blessed daytime cg will be here, in all her patience. Thanks, again:) c

Linda, what a sweet thing you are doing for your pa. You are a true angel in so many hearts. :)

I say nothing wrong with a fiblet. If it helps the person with dementia I say it's a very good thing. It's actually kind of a hug.

a fiblet, omg!!!
I LOVE that.
Hey ssk, glad you're here too!!
lovbob

Hey Linda you have a full plate over there and then some.
Kiss your Pa for me and glad you're here.
One day, we will have that coffee!!
lovbob

My mom used to get so upset and start saying "Let's go ! Let's get out of here. We have to go home now!" and start freaking out...I found it helped to tell a "fiblet" or "white lie". "Oh we are going to leave in about an hour, I just have to finish packing",,, and she'd forget after a while. Or I would agree and we would get into the car and ride around for a while and go back home again, and she would have calmed down by then.

bobbie and jam , youre so right 100 percent right . i was wanting to tell christina that takin some of the drugs off may have flipped her out , but my mind was also somewhere eles .
thank you guys for thinkin about a solved pblm for christina and helping her in advice . funny how i think about it then my mind slides over to something eles and didnt get to say what i wanted truely to say .
again bobbie and jam . u gave her what she needed to hear . thank you .
takin away their meds that they have been on for a while does make u on the edge , withdrawns are terrible .
CHRISTINA plz dont leave . do come back and read . alot of times i read and dont leave any mesages . then i ll leave a messages when i have something to say or see that someone is worried . WHERES CHRISTINA ??
sucks to worry . keep in touch my new friend . :-)

i ordered a winter boots and a cute furry house slippers for dad . at cmas time he got upset said everybodys got boots but me . waaa it broeke myheart . kept my eye open at walmart never see the kind he would wear . bro said to me this morning go ck online instead of running around everywhere lookin . ah good idea ! duhhh whats matter with me !
found em and told dad what i done and its his late cmas gift , ohhh he s on cloud nine and thanked me bunch and says he apprecatie it . :-) i love my dad , xoxo

Another meal shared by hubby & his Momma was his favorite of steak, baked potato, & salad. She had worked so hard at preparing the meal as a surprise for him. When he walked in she proudly proclaimed that she had made him his favorite meal & for him to sit down & eat while it was still hot. He was thrilled! He sat down & proceeded to cut, well "try" to cut his steak, but the meat would not budge...it was just too tough! He said, "Momma, i really appreciate you making this meal for me, but the steak is so tough I can't cut it!" Her response? "Well, get a sharper knife!"

By the way, his NOW favorite meal is my meatloaf, mashed potatoes & green peas...not steak! : ) Guess he just didn't want to take any chances!

LOL Peach. That's cute. Is that a true story?

One day before hubby & I got married, he went "home" to have breakfast with his Momma. She made the usual eggs, bacon, grits, & toast & proudly set it before her son for him to enjoy. Hubby looked at the "feast" before him & everything looked SO good except for the toast...almost burnt beyond recognition! He said, "Momma, everything looks so delicious...everything 'cept the toast! What happened to the toast? It's burnt!" Never missing a beat, her response was, "You can scrape it any color you want!"