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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Yes, J, you could. If it gets that bad. I feel so bad for you. You are so unappreciated. I wish I could help you. Do you local friends that could help you?
I was wrong she is not being nicer just waiting to jump on me again....I am wondering if i could maybe go to a shelter and they could help me get a job and a place to live?...
Sitting here trying to get to the last 100 posts here, fart pants staring at me, I shut the door on his ass, he can sit in the door and stare at the TV from 20 feet away but I am not gonna be near him...It is enough I have to listen to the endless moaning...yes, tell ME dinner is ready...I set the table twenty minutes ago moron I know, unlike you I can hear..." Dinners ready Carrie"...Moms name asshole...just die already! Had a crap night last night, aside from nightmares I mean...The huge limb and assorted branches that fell into our yard this week I decided to try and take down, and cut up, and I did. Mind you this was a limb of about 200 to 300 pounds... so a Big Branch...and one half it size...I cut and pulled and snipped and trimmed and sawed ( in the dark and cold) and got it all into the recycle green waste bin....after about two hours and come inside and go to basement...she lets Monty out a little later and comes to the top of the stairs........
"Jennifer?"
"Yeah?"
"You do know that we can't put Yard waste in the garbage can?" "YES..."
"Well that's what tree branches are..." she says snottily....
"What do you think that is (out there)!?" I reply stonily back.
"I can't see the color in the dark...." "Is is the yard bin?"
"Yes..."
"oh..."
No apology, nothin she just goes to bed...fine... what ever I know am nothing here.
But she is being way more friendly(for her)...well that is after this morning when fart pants got up early and she didn't so I took his BP, BS, and gave him his pills etc... and set up for breakfast for her...didn't make anything cause I know she freaks if you get in between her and food, or don't eat her cooking or change ANYTHING...I asked about eggs I just got them out for her, sneer no comment..I just give my dog his shot and leave...slept all day....You know in a way it is like being in an emotionally battering relationship...At least I see it, now to get the hell out of it!
The lady who told us what happened to her was so funny and the cop was trying so hard to act professional-they did arrest the guy later so someone did look at his face. I amboth Austin and Maxine-you all probably know the story behind the Maxine part when my son gave me a tee shirt for my birthday with Maxine I did not know she was a cartoon and I thought that was how he saw me and hid it away until a few years later he gave me a Maxine joke book-I never told him how upset I had been and nurses are trained to keep their emotions to themselves,
Black Testicles A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse," he mumbles, from behind the mask "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies "I don't know,Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently. Then, she takes a close look and says, "No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely..... (scroll down........) # # # # # # A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ? "
Angie, that's all you can do. Take it one day at a time or one minute at a time. I'm so glad you got to go out for your birthday and that it was nice. Love & hugs to you and your mom.
Good Evening All...... Feeling better today.....Somewhat anyway. Had a nice BDAY.... Went out to dinner for the first time since October...... I was like wow this is the outside world whooo hoooo..... lol. Taking it one day at a time... One min at a time..... Love the jokes on here.... Mom is Mom....Still running in circles for sure......
This is not a joke it really happened -at one of the craft fairs my sister went to another crafter went to use the restroom and went to a stall that showed it was empty and there was a man in there and he turned around and exposed himself to her. She reported it to the management and when the police officer questioned her he said I need a discription she held up her fingers and said it was this big-the cop trying to keep from laughing said his face-what did his face look like she oh I didn't see his face.
Rossella, I know what you mean. And when people tell me it's better than the alternative sometimes I wanna say, how do you know? ;) The only good thing I can think of about aging for a woman is no more periods.
Way down in dat old swamp known as Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady's been pregnant for some time, and now her time had come. So, he brought her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said, Hey, Boudreaux, you just had you a son! Aint dat just grand"?
Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, "Hold on! We ain't finished up yet!"
The doctor then delivered a little girl.
He said, "Hey, Boudreaux! You got you a daughter! She a pretty lil ting, too."
Boudreaux was kind of puzzled by all this, and then the doctor said, "Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!"
The doctor then delivered another boy and said, " Boudreaux, you just had youself another boy!"
When Boudreaux and Marie went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we runned out of dat dere Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?"
She said, "Yeah, I do."
Boudreaux exclaimed, "Man, it's a damn good ting we didn't use no WD-40!"*
Alternate Adam's rib joke: Adam is walking around the Garden very sad, and God asks him what is wrong. Adam say, "I'm lonely, God I have no one to hang with". God says, "I'm going to make you a companion called Woman. She will comfort you, listen to you, build you up, have your children, raise them, cook for you, take care of the hearth. You will not have to worry about a thing, she will do it all." Adam say, "Wow. That sounds great. What is it going to cost me"? God says, "An arm and a leg". Adam thinks about it and says, "Well, what can I get for a rib"? I think it's a bit chauvinistic, because for a rib, he got a much better deal in real life--right, LADIES!!??!!
If there is no wind you have to dive in the water to smoke. You guys are killing with the jokes I falling out of the chair I was feeling in the dumps a little while-now can not stop laughing-you guys are the best-want to hear some good jokes come to our senior centerr sewing those 90 yr. olds know some great ones.
Cat in the hat: I know it too! Christina, no kidding, a book about diets and problems with weight would not be a bad idea at all. I know many people here who would be interested. (me included). When I was young I was skinny and I did not take weight even if I ate a whole beef every day. And now... my thyroid does not work anymore and even if I eat little, I don't lose weight! And I should! Goodness, could someone give me only one positive side in getting old?
I cannot see. I cannot pee. I cannot chew. I cannot screw. Oh my God, what can I do? My memory shrinks. My hearing stinks. No sense of smell. I look like hell. My mood is bad - can you tell? My body's drooping. Have trouble pooping. The Golden Years have come at last. The Golden Years can kiss my @ss.
OK, which one of the crew is responsible for this one?
(If you don't want anyone to know, then email me & tell me so!)
OK. If i offend someone with the subject matter, please accept my apology. A man was walking on the sidewalk and he came to a mental institution, surrounded by a fence. There were a group of people chanting inside the grounds saying, "thirteen, thirteen, thirteen", over and over. He stepped up to the fence and found a knothole to look into. The man yelled, and said, "Hey, some little a$$hole just poked me in the eye with a stick!!! Pretty soon, you can here the group inside the grounds chanting, "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..." OK--I thought it was pretty funny, and although we deal with mental illness here, I would never make fun of that subject. But, the guy was kind of the idiot, anyway, doncha think? I thought of some good material on my walk, bobbie. You may use it if you want in your schtick, free of charge. "You read the book, Eat, Pray Love, about the woman who travels the globe and grows through her experiences? Well, I am writing a book (just kidding, Rossella) about my experiences before Weight Watchers and Therapy. It's called, "Eat, Cry, Eat". I'm sure you can tweak it, but the basis is there. OK, that's all for now.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"Jennifer?"
"Yeah?"
"You do know that we can't put Yard waste in the garbage can?"
"YES..."
"Well that's what tree branches are..." she says snottily....
"What do you think that is (out there)!?" I reply stonily back.
"I can't see the color in the dark...." "Is is the yard bin?"
"Yes..."
"oh..."
No apology, nothin she just goes to bed...fine... what ever I know am nothing here.
But she is being way more friendly(for her)...well that is after this morning when fart pants got up early and she didn't so I took his BP, BS, and gave him his pills etc... and set up for breakfast for her...didn't make anything cause I know she freaks if you get in between her and food, or don't eat her cooking or change ANYTHING...I asked about eggs I just got them out for her, sneer no comment..I just give my dog his shot and leave...slept all day....You know in a way it is like being in an emotionally battering relationship...At least I see it, now to get the hell out of it!
christina! I read john's question and man, are you right! He's a pistol! I hollered at him to join us too.
lovbob
Black Testicles
A male patient is lying in bed
in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his
mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure
A young student nurse appears to give him a
partial sponge bath.
Nurse," he mumbles, from behind the mask "Are my
testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies
"I don't know,Sir.
I'm only here to wash your upper body."
He struggles to ask again,
"Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his
testicles in the other, lifting and moving them
around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, "No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and
says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was
wonderful, but listen very, very closely.....
(scroll down........)
#
#
#
#
#
#
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ? "
that question!!! OMG!!!
love,
miz
Way down in dat old swamp known as Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady's
been pregnant for some time, and now her time had come. So, he brought
her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said,
Hey, Boudreaux, you just had you a son! Aint dat just grand"?
Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and
said, "Hold on! We ain't finished up yet!"
The doctor then delivered a little girl.
He said, "Hey, Boudreaux! You got you a daughter! She a pretty lil ting,
too."
Boudreaux was kind of puzzled by all this, and then the doctor said,
"Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!"
The doctor then delivered another boy and said, " Boudreaux, you just
had youself another boy!"
When Boudreaux and Marie went home with their three children, he sat
down with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we
runned out of dat dere Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?"
She said, "Yeah, I do."
Boudreaux exclaimed, "Man, it's a damn good ting we didn't use no WD-40!"*
Adam is walking around the Garden very sad, and God asks him what is wrong. Adam say, "I'm lonely, God I have no one to hang with". God says, "I'm going to make you a companion called Woman. She will comfort you, listen to you, build you up, have your children, raise them, cook for you, take care of the hearth. You will not have to worry about a thing, she will do it all." Adam say, "Wow. That sounds great. What is it going to cost me"? God says, "An arm and a leg". Adam thinks about it and says, "Well, what can I get for a rib"?
I think it's a bit chauvinistic, because for a rib, he got a much better deal in real life--right, LADIES!!??!!
Christina, no kidding, a book about diets and problems with weight would not be a bad idea at all. I know many people here who would be interested. (me included). When I was young I was skinny and I did not take weight even if I ate a whole beef every day. And now... my thyroid does not work anymore and even if I eat little, I don't lose weight! And I should!
Goodness, could someone give me only one positive side in getting old?
THE CAT IN THE HAT ON AGING...
I cannot see.
I cannot pee.
I cannot chew.
I cannot screw.
Oh my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks.
My hearing stinks.
No sense of smell.
I look like hell.
My mood is bad - can you tell?
My body's drooping.
Have trouble pooping.
The Golden Years
have come at last.
The Golden Years
can kiss my @ss.
OK, which one of the crew is responsible for this one?
(If you don't want anyone to know, then email me & tell me so!)
Love & hugs to EveryBUDDY!
Peach
A man was walking on the sidewalk and he came to a mental institution, surrounded by a fence. There were a group of people chanting inside the grounds saying, "thirteen, thirteen, thirteen", over and over. He stepped up to the fence and found a knothole to look into. The man yelled, and said, "Hey, some little a$$hole just poked me in the eye with a stick!!!
Pretty soon, you can here the group inside the grounds chanting, "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."
OK--I thought it was pretty funny, and although we deal with mental illness here, I would never make fun of that subject.
But, the guy was kind of the idiot, anyway, doncha think?
I thought of some good material on my walk, bobbie. You may use it if you want in your schtick, free of charge.
"You read the book, Eat, Pray Love, about the woman who travels the globe and grows through her experiences? Well, I am writing a book (just kidding, Rossella) about my experiences
before Weight Watchers and Therapy. It's called, "Eat, Cry, Eat".
I'm sure you can tweak it, but the basis is there. OK, that's all for now.