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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Jam: Maybe someone could perform an exorcism on your daughters? I think the picture falling the other day was your Mother giving you a head's up about what was going to soon happen. I've ben thinking about it for two days. Not the exorcism, but the picture falling, and what the message could be. Whoop, there it is...whoop there it is.. Gotta go--out with hubby , have a good evening everyone, "love ya, mean it, ciao", from some movie...but I really mean it:) HUGS, Christina
When my Dad died, I was happy for him. He had suffered so much. He had dementia at the end and couldn't hack not being able to do the stuff he used to do. Mom never complains.
Jam ~ You got style! Love the way you write! Wish your babyish girl didn't know so much. I remember when kids respected their parents ... well at least I did.
Hope you find some good mindless TV tonight!
Medium & Mentalist. What WOuld YOU do might be to heavy. Glad you're here!
J, my hubby calls it a "character disorder". I have received 2 emails from one of my former, self-centered, self-righteous daughters tonight and I'm not sure if I want to shoot myself or her. Lying, nasty, vicious little harpie......spewing hatred at me and saying things that are so off base as to just leave me speechless. Then I find COL has been sitting and peeing in her Tena's instead of getting up and going to the bathroom. She tells me her medicine isn't working, Ditropan, so I said then we will have to go to the doctor's next week. Well holy shit..........she gets in my face and screams "I will not go and who says I have to".....I do and you will do as you are told. Want your Nexium refilled? Then you gotta go......sweet as pie after that. Not a good thing to do right after getting ripped by an insolent little harpie......but you will be glad to know I let the COL live. Mentally I feel on the edge right now so I think I will take my rum and coke and retire to the bedroom and watch something stupid on t.v. Hugz to all!
It's been a pleasure as usual, and now I have to go to bed . it's 3 in the night here and tomorrow I have to clean my room's floor, which will take me at least one hour with a very strong brush! Animaks don't help to keep a house clean
Even though I have given up a lot to do this caregiving thing, I'm damned glad I didn't choose to put my Mom in a Nursing Home and just go in to visit . Miz and others , I'm proud of you for taking care of your Mom's and Dad's and allowing them to live their final years with the people they love. There's nothing better than that.
Jen, as your mother is at home, now, if I were you I would take all the opportunities to go out (go shopping, go to the pharmacy, go to the offices to do the paper work.... anything). And if it takes a long time to do these things, you found traffic, you found people in line, the traffic lights were all red.... Breathe, sister! Pirate: I have started with the Ensure and I hope that in one week my mother recovers some strenght! Those things are amazing. I think part of her depression is due to weather - it is constantly gray and gloomy. Some days ago my nephew posted on Facebook. "I saw a yellow ball in the sky, for five minutes. What was it?" Georgia, nice talk.
I'm going to miss my mom a lot, I know now. I thought I would just "move on" after, but now I know it's going to be a "process", I soun like a shrink. HI J, crazy drivers on the roads?! How much snow do hyou have out here now?
sskape, hubby bought me one for Valentine's Day last year. It's pink. They would be easy to trip on I think. I thought about one for Mom but she was so short I would have had to shorten it way up. She was always pretty warm anyway.
I was cold so I put on my soft and fluffy white robe I got at Kohls. Hubby and I did most of our Christmas shopping there and so they gave us a gift thingie for $40.00. The robe was marked down to like $14.99. We got a new scale for $19.99. Pretty cool. :) Love a good bargain.
Hi, I'm waiting for the snow which hasn't arrived here yet. Went out to lunch at Friendly's with Mom and neighbors.It was good to get out . Talked to my son in CA. They are coming to visit in May. Can't wait to see them! Nothing gross to report today, I must be immune to it now. Mom poured her cup of hot chocolate on the rug, oh well, just wipe it up with a few paper towels. No biggie.
Good Evening Everyone. Made it through another week at work and hubby and I plan to clean this house tomorrow. I'm still really tired. It's snowing here now. I don't think they predicted it tonight. We'll see what it looks like in the morning. I wish I had something profound or witty to say but I'm at a loss.
Linda, I'm glad that Pa's doing better! Maybe he'll recharge his batteries off of the grandkids! You're such a good daughter to him & a caring Mom as well, to let them go shopping alone & you're happy for them instead of gripping! How in the world do you do everything you do & still stay so cheerful? You're pretty amazing, lady! : )
Diane, I love your critter pic, too! Pretty baby! It's not that we've done anything to have all of this stuff thrust upon us. We're just either the compassionate one in the family, or maybe there's no one else for the loved one to be able to depend on. Seems like the rest of the family instinctivly know who will be the caregiver & unfortunately sometimes they take advantage of it. OK, a lot of the time they'll take advantage of it. I know it's not fair, but what else are we to do? There's something in us that won't let us just walk away, whether it's love, compassion, sympathy, pay backs or even guilt. For most folks, it's love that keeps us in the daily grind of caregiving for our loved ones. And when our work is done we shouldn't have any guilt or remorse, like the others will experience! Just memories of little stolen moments with our loved one...little inside jokes...a favorite meal shared...a smile...a hand squeeze...a look...and an ocasional thank you...not what we're doing it for, but nice none the less. Not sure how to end this...just feeling nostalgic about caring now for my wonderful husband, my Mom (she's 85, still up & running) and in the not so distant past, my Dad & favorite aunt. I miss them, but glad that I had the opportunity to share that closeness with them. I'm glad that they loved me & trusted me to care for them!
Good God I post this in another post:---------------------------
"Granted, you can't change any one. You can change yourself pick your battles. I have a family abuse history and years of therapy. There are tools for dealing with difficult people, books on it as well look up at library or self help sections in books stores. You need to distance yourself either emotionally or literally, or both. I have done both with various people at various times. the thing is to remember YOU deserve to be treated with respect and if you are not engaging in the abuse yourself or sending it back at em you have no reason to put up with the BS they dump on you. Remind yourself you are a good person, stay connected if you must for business and safety sake BUT REMIND YOURSELF THIS PERSON HAS A PROBLEM AND IT is not you. IT IS them. If THIS IS A GENUINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, THOUGH SOME MELLOW WITH AGE, THEY ARE APT TO BE ENTRENCHED LIFE LONG COPING SKILLS THAT WILL CONTINUE TO CAUSE YOU PAIN AND ANNOYANCE AS THEY COME FROM PEOPLE YOU LOVE, WOULD LIKE TO LOVE, USED TO LOVE, WITH LOVED AND CARED FOR YOU, SHOULD HAVE LOVED AND CARED FOR YOU USED TO OR JUST DON'T.
Sorry hit cap lock, but it is important. When loved ones are as toxic to you as strangers who care nothing for you and do nothing but cause harm out of selfishness, disregard ignorance or it just being who they are it hurts and it effect every aspect of you life.
You need to put your needs first here or risk being either turned into one of them and taking it out on the world or being whittled down to a non-entity who doesn't believe you deserve any better and you DO.
Take care of yourself, make friends outside the family system, always remind yourself when talking to this person they are not going to improve , this is always the main spring of who they are with you and do not keep waiting for it to clear up or get better or go away.
Now when I have to deal with people in my family I remind myself they are still playing these games, have issues that are THERE PROBLEM NOT MINE! and I am not afraid of them anymore. I AM the authority on MY life, I choose what is of value to me and what They think of me, does not matter.
Too long a post? But a serious issue for anyone dealing with it,and many here are...Best Wishes...."
AND then my mom comes in here and snipes at me..."I need you to call the vet and....."
"I just did he is having his least Glucose test and should be ready to go at 4:00.."
"Did they say what it is going to cost?"
"No, but they are not done yet..."
'''''"I REALLY NEED TO know THAT !?""" BLAH BLAH BLAH SNEER SNEER SNAP SNAP SNEER...CRAB CRAB JUST SHOOT ME!
"they AREN'T DONE YET...i CAN call BACK AND ask..."
Jesus LET ME DIE IN A CAR CRASH ON THE WAY TO THE VET...i AM SO SICK OF ALL THIS!!!!
So much for not pushing buttons eh...I can't see that her retiring has helped any. she doesn't, I don't know, she is more angry more upset more addled, more confused pissed off worried about money she doesn't have coming in anymore. I was doing all the crap before, she thought it was nothing she is now finding 24 7 with her father to be quite quite annoying...Hell they yell at each other snap far more, that didn't happen with me....
Ahhh, a moment to relax, well, for a moment or thirty five, while I wait for the dark chocolate brownies to scent the air, say thanks for just wondering, and howdy! Howdy! Busy busy days, and nights too really...nothing quite like being wiped out, now is there? We've had vehicle problems, which is nothing earth shaking, unless your in the middle of Blimpgumpwtf Nowhere, and then it can be a challenge..Hhmmph, .fate should never tempt ME, is what I'm sayin' ;-) ! My boots were made for, well they were made for high steppin' through steamy pile of farm crap, but I can make 'em do some walkin' in pinch. But more importantly, the telephone is made for calling, and threa, uhhh, making strong suggestions, to ones brothers, to get one, or the others, big fat keisters, on top of a bad situation. I am happy to report they did, and still are as a matter of fact...why yes, yes I did pert near find religion now that you mention it, but then they know, I know, where they live! Now if I was to be cynical (not a stretch, I fully admit), I 'd say it was because it's Mama's birthday weekend that resulted in so much unity & cooperation (it's today as a matter of fact, thus the yummylicious brownies...oh my word the smell is just killin' me), and it would be such bad form not to (and of course their attachment to various personal appendages doesn't hurt...like it could), but I'd much rather prefer to think, they just wanted to lend a hand when it was needed the most...kudos & big props for my brothers! Sadly they weren't here for her birthday supper earlier, of Chicken Alfredo on Angel Hair Pasta (reasonably low fat, but come on, it's her Birthday), so that was a bit disappointing, but on the other hand, more brownies for us, is our motto! But they both did call and gave her cards & wee Mama like gifts, so between that, and making some cruises for me when I needed 'em most, not too bad...and as an added bonus, we stay off the local nightly news ;-) .. My sick little truck is out of ICU now, and should be released be the 'morrow, and a brother is in the wings waiting (in great anticipation no doubt) for the call to deliver us back to transportation independence! I'm shopping for a spare ride on Monday :-) ! I shall return as the frazzle frizzles into a more manageable kewl schnizzle! Care, Peace, Patrick
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Aren't you having the chance to visit your sons in CA soon? What a great thing to look forward to!
love,
miz
Gotta go--out with hubby , have a good evening everyone, "love ya, mean it, ciao", from some movie...but I really mean it:)
HUGS, Christina
lovbob
You got style! Love the way you write!
Wish your babyish girl didn't know so much. I remember when kids respected their parents ... well at least I did.
Hope you find some good mindless TV tonight!
Medium & Mentalist. What WOuld YOU do might be to heavy.
Glad you're here!
You are complicated, you English speaking people
And if it takes a long time to do these things, you found traffic, you found people in line, the traffic lights were all red....
Breathe, sister!
Pirate: I have started with the Ensure and I hope that in one week my mother recovers some strenght! Those things are amazing. I think part of her depression is due to weather - it is constantly gray and gloomy. Some days ago my nephew posted on Facebook. "I saw a yellow ball in the sky, for five minutes. What was it?"
Georgia, nice talk.
HI J, crazy drivers on the roads?! How much snow do hyou have out here now?
Still alive here but man it is close with the idiots on the road...It is slush people not ice but NOT bare pavement!
love,
miz
Diane, I love your critter pic, too! Pretty baby! It's not that we've done anything to have all of this stuff thrust upon us. We're just either the compassionate one in the family, or maybe there's no one else for the loved one to be able to depend on. Seems like the rest of the family instinctivly know who will be the caregiver & unfortunately sometimes they take advantage of it. OK, a lot of the time they'll take advantage of it. I know it's not fair, but what else are we to do? There's something in us that won't let us just walk away, whether it's love, compassion, sympathy, pay backs or even guilt. For most folks, it's love that keeps us in the daily grind of caregiving for our loved ones. And when our work is done we shouldn't have any guilt or remorse, like the others will experience! Just memories of little stolen moments with our loved one...little inside jokes...a favorite meal shared...a smile...a hand squeeze...a look...and an ocasional thank you...not what we're doing it for, but nice none the less. Not sure how to end this...just feeling nostalgic about caring now for my wonderful husband, my Mom (she's 85, still up & running) and in the not so distant past, my Dad & favorite aunt. I miss them, but glad that I had the opportunity to share that closeness with them. I'm glad that they loved me & trusted me to care for them!
Love & hugs to you & yours!
peach
"Granted, you can't change any one. You can change yourself pick your battles. I have a family abuse history and years of therapy. There are tools for dealing with difficult people, books on it as well look up at library or self help sections in books stores. You need to distance yourself either emotionally or literally, or both. I have done both with various people at various times. the thing is to remember YOU deserve to be treated with respect and if you are not engaging in the abuse yourself or sending it back at em you have no reason to put up with the BS they dump on you. Remind yourself you are a good person, stay connected if you must for business and safety sake BUT REMIND YOURSELF THIS PERSON HAS A PROBLEM AND IT is not you. IT IS them.
If THIS IS A GENUINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, THOUGH SOME MELLOW WITH AGE, THEY ARE APT TO BE ENTRENCHED LIFE LONG COPING SKILLS THAT WILL CONTINUE TO CAUSE YOU PAIN AND ANNOYANCE AS THEY COME FROM PEOPLE YOU LOVE, WOULD LIKE TO LOVE, USED TO LOVE, WITH LOVED AND CARED FOR YOU, SHOULD HAVE LOVED AND CARED FOR YOU USED TO OR JUST DON'T.
Sorry hit cap lock, but it is important. When loved ones are as toxic to you as strangers who care nothing for you and do nothing but cause harm out of selfishness, disregard ignorance or it just being who they are it hurts and it effect every aspect of you life.
You need to put your needs first here or risk being either turned into one of them and taking it out on the world or being whittled down to a non-entity who doesn't believe you deserve any better and you DO.
Take care of yourself, make friends outside the family system, always remind yourself when talking to this person they are not going to improve , this is always the main spring of who they are with you and do not keep waiting for it to clear up or get better or go away.
Now when I have to deal with people in my family I remind myself they are still playing these games, have issues that are THERE PROBLEM NOT MINE! and I am not afraid of them anymore. I AM the authority on MY life, I choose what is of value to me and what They think of me, does not matter.
Too long a post? But a serious issue for anyone dealing with it,and many here are...Best Wishes...."
AND then my mom comes in here and snipes at me..."I need you to call the vet and....."
"I just did he is having his least Glucose test and should be ready to go at 4:00.."
"Did they say what it is going to cost?"
"No, but they are not done yet..."
'''''"I REALLY NEED TO know THAT !?""" BLAH BLAH BLAH SNEER SNEER SNAP SNAP SNEER...CRAB CRAB JUST SHOOT ME!
"they AREN'T DONE YET...i CAN call BACK AND ask..."
Jesus LET ME DIE IN A CAR CRASH ON THE WAY TO THE VET...i AM SO SICK OF ALL THIS!!!!
So much for not pushing buttons eh...I can't see that her retiring has helped any. she doesn't, I don't know, she is more angry more upset more addled, more confused pissed off worried about money she doesn't have coming in anymore. I was doing all the crap before, she thought it was nothing she is now finding 24 7 with her father to be quite quite annoying...Hell they yell at each other snap far more, that didn't happen with me....
Oh when does this end!
Howdy!
Busy busy days, and nights too really...nothing quite like being wiped out, now is there?
We've had vehicle problems, which is nothing earth shaking, unless your in the middle of Blimpgumpwtf Nowhere, and then it can be a challenge..Hhmmph, .fate should never tempt ME, is what I'm sayin' ;-) !
My boots were made for, well they were made for high steppin' through steamy pile of farm crap, but I can make 'em do some walkin' in pinch.
But more importantly, the telephone is made for calling, and threa, uhhh, making strong suggestions, to ones brothers, to get one, or the others, big fat keisters, on top of a bad situation.
I am happy to report they did, and still are as a matter of fact...why yes, yes I did pert near find religion now that you mention it, but then they know, I know, where they live!
Now if I was to be cynical (not a stretch, I fully admit), I 'd say it was because it's Mama's birthday weekend that resulted in so much unity & cooperation (it's today as a matter of fact, thus the yummylicious brownies...oh my word the smell is just killin' me), and it would be such bad form not to (and of course their attachment to various personal appendages doesn't hurt...like it could), but I'd much rather prefer to think, they just wanted to lend a hand when it was needed the most...kudos & big props for my brothers!
Sadly they weren't here for her birthday supper earlier, of Chicken Alfredo on Angel Hair Pasta (reasonably low fat, but come on, it's her Birthday), so that was a bit disappointing, but on the other hand, more brownies for us, is our motto!
But they both did call and gave her cards & wee Mama like gifts, so between that, and making some cruises for me when I needed 'em most, not too bad...and as an added bonus, we stay off the local nightly news ;-) ..
My sick little truck is out of ICU now, and should be released be the 'morrow, and a brother is in the wings waiting (in great anticipation no doubt) for the call to deliver us back to transportation independence!
I'm shopping for a spare ride on Monday :-) !
I shall return as the frazzle frizzles into a more manageable kewl schnizzle!
Care, Peace, Patrick