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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Yep, sskape. They can drive ya nuts. I talked to my SIL about it once. She an RN. She said when she first started visiting people's homes she was very vigilante about safety, etc. She then relaxed a bit. We have good sense. We know not to put dangerous throw rugs where our loved ones can trip. We know to keep a clear path. However, there were some things that were suggested to me that made some sense. I think Pirate is so right. A consistent caregiver is what you need. Someone who cares about people, has compassion and is pleasant to be around.
Christina, hi....I will assume you were not being judgemental by making your suggestions. Since we don't know one another it's much better not to assume either way if someone is or isn't doing something. My dad is actually very good at caring for his own nails...just not washing hands. I thought we were venting so I left out background info which apparently would have been useful to you in your response. Dad has his own cookie jar but he doesn't realize it's his own...we don't want him to feel self-conscience or singled out, leaving opportunity for him to be offended or hurt. Everyone is different and has a different response to things. This has been a difficult 14 mo transition for him to have to come and live with others when he has been so independent all these years. We have made the most of it and I'm grateful he is here although like many here on this message board the strain and loss of our own lives and privacy thru caretaking is stressful. Certainly we all have common sense enough to know, reminders while useful to some are an annoyance to others...like my dad. I decided about 4 mos ago to for-go the reminders (aka nagging :) and try hand sanitizers etc(which still grossed me out but are the lesser of two evils as it were)...didn't work so rather than having his last years here on earth be filled with someone making him feel as tho he hasn't been doing things right for the past 84 yrs of his life, I would much rather grab the bottle of disinfectant after he goes to bed and do my thing. Realizing we are all fairly intelligent people here(since we do have responsibility for our parent(s) or others) I would appreciate just being able to vent and not have to explain every little thing in a defense for action or inaction on my part. While your suggestions are sweet I would also remind you, and others, that not everybody had a great relationship with those they are taking care of. Not everyone had a "daddy"...or "mommy" during their childhood. Some are survivors of incest, child abuse, etc. We should all refrain from making generalized suggestions based on our own experiences with our family members to others we know nothing about until it is requested. I appreciate you allowing me to share from my heart with you...no offence taken and I hope you will not be offended either. We are all learning on this journey of caregiving that life has diverted us to. Blessings to you and yours...:)
Pirate, beyond the CHF I do not know. Has her appetite always been good? Does she crave sweets? Diabetes maybe? Is she thirsty a lot? I'm sorry. I don't know. Maybe others on here do. I thought it was really odd when Mom started turning down ice cream bars. I told the doc she was eating less. How old is your mom?
ssk sounds like you need a caregiver and not a visiting nurse...a consistent caregiver will already know the story and will know more and more what to do each day..if you have them come consistently. I have one that comes during the workweek..M-W-F 4 hours T-Th 8 hours.
I think it's the tree outside my window that decides. It's a big tree. Must do what it says.
That being said, I went to my doctor today. He was also Mom's doctor. I told him about my regrets and guilt and he said (as some of you have said) that I did nothing wrong. That it would not have made a difference if I had called 911 a half hour earlier or whatever. He said it's very hard on an elderly person to go to the emergency room, etc. He said her heart was weak. I can't remember everything he said but he said Mom is better off. She didn't have quality of life with her dementia and weak heart and such. I told him that I know he tried everything and how grateful I was that he came to see her on Thanksgiving and Sunday. He said he is there everyday. He truly cares. He also said that when his father was very sick they didn't take him to the hospital. They let him die at home. He said he could feel bad about that but they didn't want him poked and prodded and all of that. And, he gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. Sweet sweet man.
Regarding the visiting nurses: They keep sending different ones, then I have to fill them in on the whole history, while they write their notes, and they really don't do anything, just take her blood pressure. Then they give a safety lecture, make sure she doesn't fall, do you have a wheelchair?,, blah, blah, blah. I just need someone who can sit with her for an hour so I can take a walk, I'm capable of doing the rest of the stuff. I guess I'm not in a good mood today. Am looking forward to going to sleep!
Hi Gang--Gone for a while today. Almost fell asleep driving. Still tired from last week Th-Monday morning. Did I miss anything? I know I will get the hang of this very soon--need to catch up to posts. Wow--thank you to everyone who has been so nice to me this week when I was wigging out. sometimes we al get a little weird, especially in THIS job!! O M Goodness. Am having a time trying to find a psychiatrist for my Mother. Tennessee; I wish "I" could come down there and KICK SOME BUTTINSKIS!!! Man oh man, then you come to california and help me kick my sister and brother's butts, OK? WHOO HOO!!! Please be careful, OK:)? HUGS all AROUND. No wine tonight, but maybe some WHINE!
Well I know what that one is...my dad had it...you should have seen that poor mans legs an ankles like trees they were. I think I am headed for that same stuff due to for the past month I have had wierd pains and my ankles can swell up really bad...sniff sniff. She has been on lipitor and some heart med as well as thyroid..the others is all psych meds. Hmmm Miz what else do you think it can be...please if you have any information. I will see her after work and try to acess her more.
Pirate, That can be a sign of congestive heart failure. I did not know this at the time. I wish I had. I would get her to the doc. And yes, I would get ensure. Anything that she will eat to give her nourishment. I don't want to scare you. It may not be that. But I would have it checked out.
Nance, what are you upset about exactly? Remember this is just a BLOG! Folks who had similiar difficult experiences with caregiving topics kinda gathered here to let it all out. If folks have done niceities to each other or communicate with one more than others then that is just the nature of the beast of blogging. So what is it that irked you?
MIZ...you mentioned your mom stopped eating, my mom is eating less and less she is def declining but still alert....What is the prognosis of them eating less and less? Miz anyone? Should I be worried or just get a bunch of ensure or the like?
I think everybody works hard and deserves a pat on the back so to speak some people I think form closer ties and outside the group send stuff back and forth. It in no way lessens what everyone does and has to go through but it can feel sort of cliquish if you know what I mean. some people like to send gifts some of us don't, I don't know. it's just a thing I guess...
Nance - I can't believe your attitude.I don't participate much but I have absorbed so much compassion and caring from the people in this group. Follow along for awhile and perhaps you'll understand.
NANCE, I think it boils down to some of the caregivers who have similar problems have formed bonds after yacking so much on this sight.Don't think it has anything to do with who's a better caregiver or their advice. If it did,we all would be deserving of a prize.Glad to see you feeling fisty today.
Nance, why do you have this idea? I don't think people are treated differently, here. I really don't understand. It seems to me we support each other exactly in the same way... I am sorry for all the people who lost a loved one in the last few weeks. Exactly in the same way. And I am sure it is the same for everyone.
Jen, do you still have pen pals? Can you still hand-write? I don't have the "writing muscles" in the hand, anymore. If I write more than two lines. my hand hurts. Maximum I can write the list for shopping.... (milk, eggs..) Unbelievable: I am using now my old computer. The new one does not switch on. I have two towers side by side on my desk. It seems I have to change the case of the new one, so that the button works! That's right: when we wrote by pen, those things did not happen. But...If I had to pen-write you, this letter would arrive in 2 weeks and you would answer, and your answer would arrive one month after i have written.
I really need to know-------Who decides about who gets a lamp-a bear__Does that make them better caregivers or does it mean their loved ones were better then others ? Why is one person worshipped as like God-when all the others listen and give good advice too. Don't bother jumping on my ass about this, if I cared that ya might get upset, I wouldn't be writting it.
I am OK here gonna trudge into the library if i have to take the snow shovels again....I CAN"T go with out some books here!!!It is snowing like a butt what ever that means, it is not a blizzard yet....errands to run anyway moms and she did retire so she could so we may as well...library doesn't open till 2:30 (budget cuts).
We call em disposable briefs here too.
Got my hundred for January can buy postage stamps for pen pals, pay for Basic Health and meds, lotto ticket, pretty much wipes me out. Could be worse could be better got food and shelter........
Done with city hall for today,When I left everyone looked worried and concerned.Rule no. 1- never poke sleeping Giants with sticks unless you want to be chased down the bean stalk.Rule no.2- Don't open a can of worms unless you are prepared to go fishing.Rule no.3 Don't throw rocks when you,yourself live in a glass house,and lets never forget the Golden rule.
Christina, You didn't say anything wrong! And pray your little brains out! We are in our own prvate idaho here....right? Thanks to Bobbie, we've got the biggest rubber room around!! I wonder how many states we span??? xo - SS
Yes, Rossella, they are in this life with us. They are family, they have their instincts, they are loved, and served, as well. After I get Mother up for the first time in the morning, I feed Sanura her treat, give her clean water, and fill her bowl of NaturalBalance reduced calorie munchies. Around 5 am. I put her before myself, before my coffee. :))) Mange bene! Meow!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
love,
miz
That being said, I went to my doctor today. He was also Mom's doctor. I told him about my regrets and guilt and he said (as some of you have said) that I did nothing wrong. That it would not have made a difference if I had called 911 a half hour earlier or whatever. He said it's very hard on an elderly person to go to the emergency room, etc. He said her heart was weak. I can't remember everything he said but he said Mom is better off. She didn't have quality of life with her dementia and weak heart and such. I told him that I know he tried everything and how grateful I was that he came to see her on Thanksgiving and Sunday. He said he is there everyday. He truly cares. He also said that when his father was very sick they didn't take him to the hospital. They let him die at home. He said he could feel bad about that but they didn't want him poked and prodded and all of that. And, he gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. Sweet sweet man.
love,
miz
I just need someone who can sit with her for an hour so I can take a walk, I'm capable of doing the rest of the stuff. I guess I'm not in a good mood today. Am looking forward to going to sleep!
Tennessee; I wish "I" could come down there and KICK SOME BUTTINSKIS!!! Man oh man, then you come to california and help me kick my sister and brother's butts, OK?
WHOO HOO!!! Please be careful, OK:)?
HUGS all AROUND. No wine tonight, but maybe some WHINE!
MIZ...you mentioned your mom stopped eating, my mom is eating less and less she is def declining but still alert....What is the prognosis of them eating less and less? Miz anyone? Should I be worried or just get a bunch of ensure or the like?
ssk
Can you still hand-write? I don't have the "writing muscles" in the hand, anymore. If I write more than two lines. my hand hurts.
Maximum I can write the list for shopping.... (milk, eggs..)
Unbelievable: I am using now my old computer. The new one does not switch on. I have two towers side by side on my desk. It seems I have to change the case of the new one, so that the button works!
That's right: when we wrote by pen, those things did not happen. But...If I had to pen-write you, this letter would arrive in 2 weeks and you would answer, and your answer would arrive one month after i have written.
Why is one person worshipped as like God-when all the others listen and give good advice too.
Don't bother jumping on my ass about this, if I cared that ya might get upset, I wouldn't be writting it.
We call em disposable briefs here too.
Got my hundred for January can buy postage stamps for pen pals, pay for Basic Health and meds, lotto ticket, pretty much wipes me out. Could be worse could be better got food and shelter........
Not much else, this is enough really...
Hi to newbies and old friends.
You didn't say anything wrong! And pray your little brains out! We are in our own prvate idaho here....right? Thanks to Bobbie, we've got the biggest rubber room around!! I wonder how many states we span??? xo - SS
Welcome Babzgirl!
After I get Mother up for the first time in the morning, I feed Sanura her treat, give her clean water, and fill her bowl of NaturalBalance reduced calorie munchies. Around 5 am. I put her before myself, before my coffee. :))) Mange bene! Meow!