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Yes, I think we are all very good at yelling, screaming, throwing fits, and asking. heehee It's what we do here, too, and it's SO GOOD!
I just got off phone with a new friend who had to put her husband into Alzheimer care home. Let me tell you the story: About 3 months ago, I thought I would have to find a new home for Sanura, because she had a habit of running down the stairs and crossing over in front of me before I got to the bottom. I was so afraid she would do it to Mother, or a caregiver, or me when I go down late at night, in the DARK. My husband, also not Sanura's biggest fan, said, "Please find her a new home, and she sheds." Of course, he did NOT say it like that, and I said, "Listen, Bubba, you shed, too. Should I trade you in for a hairless Mediterranean model?" Don't get me started.
OK--so I was at the market one day, after praying about it, looking for signs (sorry, I do that--like dimes, kind of like in the movie "Serendipity"and "Fools Rush In" what can I say?) and I look to my right as I am starting my car, and I see a van with a sign painted on it "we care for your cat", etc. and a website and phone #. I am writing it down, and right away, a nice smiling lady walks in front of my car, toward the van. I roll down my window on passenger side and say, "Are you the cat lady?" she says yes, I tell her I need to find a good home for my beautiful Egyptian Mau, do you know anyone and I am trying not to cry, and she says, I think so let me make a phone call and I'll call you soon.
So a few days later I get a phone call from them saying this very nice lady just lost her last rescue cat, and her husband is sick, and she is grieving. I call her, she tells me her husband has AD, she needs to find HIM a home, and she needs a new cat, but not a kitten.
I am sure this is the right person, but then time passes and I start thinking about the hairless Mediterranean model.. No, scratch that, I mean, Sanura starts CHANGING!!
What? I mention it to my husband, and he just looks at me sideways. I get a phone call from my new friend, and we set up a date to make the hand-off, only it doesn't pan out. I am kind of relieved. I start crying, and get mad at my husband for ever suggesting such a thing. Now--and I'll bet you never thought I would say this: LONG STORY SHORT: My friend thinks it's not the right thing, but there is another reason we have met, and Sanura was the catalyst.
Seriously, I wrote to someone the other day--think it was Peach--that since my Mother has come to live with us, Sanura has found her purpose in our lives. She is absolutely NOT the self-centered feline she once was, she helps to take care of Mother in many ways, her presence is relaxing, entertaining, and comforting.
I told my friend about this site, and it made me cry just thinking of all of you, and how THANKFUL I am to HAVE YOU, and we are going to lunch tomorrow to get to know each other better. We may start a prayer group in our area for caregivers. This is the reason we think Sanura figured into it. There are mysteries and wonders in this life, little gifts that spring up among the pain and exhaustion. This is one of them. Love and HUGS. christina
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Howdy Y'all! I had a chance to run over to the library and just wanted check in, I don't have time to catch up (Man! we gab a lot!) but wanted to keep in touch. I'm on my way to my Caregivers Support Group Planning meeting, then have to run through some hoops and back home to mom.
Please keep me in your thoughts, you are all, always, in mine.
Oh, Great news. The Caregiver Resource Specialist from the Area Agency on Aging that I always praise has come through for me again and has found funding for me to continue working with the Family Counselor that I couldn't afford to keep. So, everyone remember, If you feel like you need any kind of help- ASK!, Yell, scream, throw a fit or just ASK. Along with all the monsters out there, there are also some angels who WANT to help.
Miss you all, Ted.
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Cristina on our news they said fireworks on New Years Eve killed all those birds, We use to use thicket a lot I do not remember the pt.s not liking it you probably could put flavoring in it maybe a little vanillia-I think but am not sure if they could eat tapioca pudding that usually is thick. I had my date lunch with my gentleman friend that I met on eharmony.com and we have been emailing each other for about 3 months-it was very pleasent -he was right on time even he traveled a distance I as usuall was early-it was pleasant he is just looking for a companion so we will be friends -I am still striving for something more with someone but will remain friends with him he looks younger in person than in his pics.
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christina, I, for one, don't mind prayers at all. I thought it was sweet. I am a Christian, a liberal one. What I don't like is being preached to or judged and you have never done that. Please relax. It's what my husband tells me all the time. "Honey, relax!!" :))
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OK. I am so outspoken, and just say things, gets me in trouble sometimes. (I was thinking: hope i don't get in trouble for the prayer. Yikes)
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christina, you are okay. You didn't say anything wrong. You just gave suggestions and that's a good thing. Wow, we are so alike in some ways. Please don't worry. :))
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I said the WRONG THING, Babzgirl!!! This IS the Gross Vent thread!!! Please forgive me:) good story, be as gross as you can--and make up for me--I'm squeamish and way too clean!!!
What am I doing HERE? Would somebody please tell me?
Babzgirl--please forgive me:)
christina
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thanks miz, I'll try it . I'm glad to have the help of VNA, but they can be annoying, also. They keep sending different people at different times, stressful, but once they get here, they are nice people.
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Babzgirl, Good Morning. Could you help him remember to wash his hands after going to the bathroom, and when he comes into the kitchen, and perhaps put HIS cookies in his own cookie jar?
Say, "Here, Dad. We got you your very own cookie jar." Maybe give him a manicure once a week to make sure his nails are clean and cut so nothing stays under them? Men enjoy having manicures, too. I do my husband's, and give him facials!
I wish I had my Daddy to take care of:))) HUGS christina
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ssake, they used that stuff to thicken up the water for my mom at the hospital. I don't have much to tell you because I think it was shortly after that when she stopped eating and drinking. However, I don't remember her rejecting it or acting like it was yucky.
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Babzgirl, you got it straight on!! Welcome to the thread!! We laugh AND cry on here but the main stream is to feel free to vent. You will find very supportive, caring and loving people on here. I don't know what I would have done without them throughout my experience.

miz
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christina, those are good mottos. I wish I had done for my mom all of the things you do for yours. It just seemed like she did not enjoy the primping and would usually just wanted to go back and lay down. Her heart was very weak. Also, her scalp was very sensitive and so she did not enjoy me brushing her hair. I guess everyone is different. :)
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Hi
has anyone tried the "thick it" product ? Mom is starting to cough when drinking. I use a straw , which helps. I remember in Nursing homes the patients didn't like the thicket.
thanks,
ssk
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My dad rarely, if ever, washes (eeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!!) his hands so he has limited access to the kitchen....my husband and I hate thinking about what he's touched and regularly wipe the frig handle down, light switch...etc. And forget about it...we NEVER take cookies from the cookie jar! LoL I've even tried to get him to use hand sanitizer but it's all for naught. ((sigh)) Still think the toothbrush story takes the cake! Lol....forgive me for chuckling, but wouldn't we cry if we weren't laughing about this stuff!
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Thank you, Miz. I think the Golden Rule is the best guideline for everything. This site is the most consistent example of that practice, and I'll bet it is as close to Heaven as we get on earth.
Every time I think I am going to lose it with Mother, I quickly put myself, mentally, in her position, and treat her the way I would want to be treated if I were 93 and in her condition. (Oh, God, please have mercy on us all) Thinking about how my siblings do nothing for her, nor even ask how WE are doing (and my husband tells me to quit thinking about them and their bs-vor), hurts, as I don't think they have that same awareness, or how could they live with it?
One of my new mottos you will see here, and please feel free to use, People: IDGI ( I don't get it) and VOR (voice of reason)
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christina, you're a good daughter and caregiver. :))
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I used to call my mom's pads.
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Morning everyone. 6:30 on the left coast, been up once with Mother at 5, she's still sleeping, or being quiet, but not for long, I can hear the anxious sighs and hyperventilating on the baby monitor. Hope we get that calmed down today. Doctor never called back yesterday, and I called twice. Tennessee, I call them night time undies, but Mother does not know what we are putting on her, or she doesn't let on. She is always put together elegantly, as she was a clothes horse all her life and loved to shop. I continue that for her, and at least once a month get her a little something new, even if it is just 3 pairs of frilly 'daytime undies'. I do her "beauty treatment" every morning after shower or cleaning up, including facial massage, hand and arm massage, hair trimming or fluffing, lipstick and perfume. She looks beautiful, and every so often I take her picture with my iphone and send it to her nieces and nephews and my wonderful, attentive siblings. Then I put on her rings and things, sit her by the fireplace in her rocking chair, give her a throat lozenge with vitamin C, and the day begins. My sister said a while back, that receiving the photos shows "how well she is being taken care of."
Have a great day, wonderful friends:) HUGS christina
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Tenny, I agree wholeheartedly about the "diaper" thing.
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Peach ,I would be mad at you if you flushed my stash too,lol:) These guys were smoking blunts-crack and crystal meth are the crazy ones.The only reason pot is not legal is because they make more money off of it being illegal than legal-just another racket.Gotta get my tail to city hall :)
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Nice prayer Christina,Christina is a good name has the word CHRIST in it,big word to live up to. I can't speak for the others,but half of the time I'm on here gripeing,it helps clear my mind,so when I talk to the officials,I'm less likely to say dumb stuff.
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Tenny, you are a keeper!!

lovbob
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I have a suggestion I would like for ya"ll to consider.My dad did not have Alz. so in some ways my job was harder because he did know what was going on and someways easier because I still discussed business with him and he still had reasoning about him,just as Pat mentioned he lost alot but his PRIDE wasn't one of them.He was bedridden,so he let loose in the bed,if you know what I mean.The caregiver that was hired would referr to those disposable thingys as Diapers.No grown man in his right mind is going to wear diapers,or woman for that matter.The word alone is humiliating.Parents no matter how juvinile they may act are adults and not babys.Diapers are for babys.Adults sometimes need DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR which are made for adults.The disposible underwear is really to make the caregivers job easier,it is something not to be left on all day and forgotten,If they poop or pee twenty times that day,you take them off and clean them twenty times a day.Bedsores are a booger to heal and can also be used against you in court.Old peoples skin is thin and fragile alot more so than a baby.If I was bedridden and ya'll came at me with diapers-I would hit you.If you ask me to put on disposable underware,you might actually get somewhere with me.As hard as caregiving is no one wants to be sick and dependent.
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Good Morning Crew!

What a great group of people.
I am proud to know you all.
y'all.

more later,

lovbob
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Good morning everyone!
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hey
gp
bobbie
christina
rossella
j sombody
linda h
and all of the rest of the gang
just wanted to say doing goo been reading post since 8 it is 2 going to bed now got more dr things this week and other apointments with moma and me
yall
and i know i spelled it right i amfarther saouth than the rest
ha ha
take care
luv ox hugs i'll be in touch
truecolors/elizabeth
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OK--Z time, people, and I mean it. Have a good morning. Hugs all around.
christina
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Peach--think I need to send the photo from my iPhone to myself, save it, then choose it, right?
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Christina, what a lovely prayer! Sweet & from the heart! I'll be glad to help you post a pic of Sanura. Love the name & neat what it means! And she's absolutely beautiful!!!

Pat, we have a Siamese kitty named Buster Brown, too! He's the one that just bit me a few days ago! He's actually a neighborhood guy, but frequents our front porch & our outside girl kitty, Margie...short for Margarine. There was Margarine, Butter, Oleo, & PeeWee in that litter. All beautiful yellow tabbies. Butter & Oleo have their own forever families now, but Margie & PeeWee are still hanging around. Good 'mews'...the hand is about 98% better! Don't think I'll need to go to the doc. YEAH!

Rossella & Bubba Ted, glad that both of you are back & are OK! Rossella, thank you so much for the compliment! Have really missed you both!

Bobbie, I can totally relate to gluing the change to the counter & the floor! I had a flower shop in the mall & for kicks I would super glue a quarter to the mall floor just outside my shop...what a hoot! Not sure how many pair of tennis shoes were messed up trying to kick it loose. Really felt bad for the maintance crew that would keep trying to sweep it up. Laughed a lot when the snooty mall manager couldn't pick it up, though! Wonder if it's still there??

Jam, I really hope that your COL's puppy will be OK! I know you don't need that stress right now!

j, are you OK?

Tenny, I know you're as southern as I am & you'll stand your ground...litteraly, but please be careful. Druggies have no stopping power, compassion or conscience! I was married to a dealer once so I speak from experience! The maddest taht he ever got at me was when I found his 'stash' & was in the middle of flushing it when he walked in. Do you know how far your head can fit down in a toilet? I do! He tried to push me in after the stuff. Gosh, that was a whole other life ago! We love you & we're just concerned about you & Lil' Tenny! Kick butt, but leave yourself an out. ok?

Hope you & yours are all having an excellant night & you're all fast asleep by now.
BIG hugs...(((((((((((CREW))))))))))
Peach
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Hello? Rip? did everyone go to bed? I should go to sleep, but I'm not tired now. got my second wind. I read all the posts. How's the weather up there? Think I told you we used to live in Marysville and Kirkland. too much rain for too long. Now we have axis shifting, and it's down here, too. I think I'm going to Google about the blackbird catastrophe in the south before I go to sleep. I caught bits and pieces the last couple of days but I have no idea if it's apocalyptic or a strange accident?
It is nice to read all the posts and see the style and patterns of communication. I don't feel so bad now, because it is a time zone thingy, but hey, I'm 7k, 8k, and maybe go for 9k. I hope y'all are sleeping peacefully, I'll pray for each of you tonight while you are sleeping, for your individual circumstances, and thank God for each of you, and the newbies arriving daily.
Bless our Captain, Lord, and heal her body, she gives and gives as one of your vessels, now fill her up and renew her strength.
Bring contentment to those who have given up their Mothers and Fathers this past month, and those still grieving losses for however long it has been. Please show them Your perspective of time and healing, and a glimpse of eternity, so they may feel in the circle right now, let them feel the closeness of those who were in their charge, and are now in Your charge, and encircle them all with the warmth of your Love, found in the friendships we form here. Thank you for the Blessing of Aging Care, for the insight of those who experienced, listened, and heard the brave cries of help from caregivers who give all they can, and then give more to each other. Thank you, Father God, in the Son's name, and may the Holy Spirit fill each person here with love, forgiveness, and strength. Amen
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