Follow
Share
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Ted - I'm so sorry. I know how that feels. I have a few friends that still check in with me to make sure I'm alive. I get invited to parties or a night out on the town, but I don't go cause I KNOW I'm a downer. I tell them that I'll be back, just not right now. If they are your true firends, they will be around when you feel better about things or are just ready to be with people again. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think ur doin' ok. :))
(5)
Report

The sad part is that these people used to be my good friends. My life has taken such a drastically different path than thiers, a path which is just not what they want to know about or think about and I have become a real downer for them. They want to continue thier happy carefree ways, and not be tainted by my struggles, which I guess i can't really blame them for. They just don't have time for me anymore. Hurts.
(1)
Report

More about hermitage (not the Leningrad Museum, the other one)
I agree that you don't have to force yourself to do something that you don't like, that you don't have to force yourself to meet disagreable people who don't understand anything about your life. I just say (to myself, mostly) that this could be a slippery slope and in the end you could find yourself closed in a box and you wouldn't have the resources to go out anymore. I say to myself, as well, that if this is kind of a battle (between us and the stupid people), if we draw too much into ourselves, it's the stupid ones who win. So I agree with Bobbie. We are entitled to say lies. They tell so many lies! If you want to spend a relaxing night, lie to the stupid people you will meet. They don't accept you are a caregiver? Well, make up a story - and when the subject has been changed, enjoy the rest of the night. And blow a raspberry at their shoulders. Maybe, among all the jerks and dorks, you'll find someone really agreable with whom have a pleasant evening. I don't want to be thrown out from the world, even if "they" think they owe it!
On the other hand,Ted, you MUST have some good friends who accept you the way you are. Call them!
(3)
Report

lol C28
(0)
Report

Meant to add: made some chicken noodle soup for my ailing daughter and taking to her now; also, going to Neurological Institute in Newport Beach for Alzheimer Breakthrough at 12:30 my time today, see if Mother is a candidate for treatment. Check out online those who it may apply to. Have a great day! I'll check in tonight, after acupuncture, chiro for my very bad shoulder. Cheers and Hugs, (Only Hugs for Ted, no cheers)
(3)
Report

Well you're all right, I shouldn't have let it all get to me in the first place but i guess i let my guard down. now, Im off to my support group to try and help someone else.
(1)
Report

That was fast! :))))
(0)
Report

Thanks, guys, for puttin me back on balance.
(1)
Report

what C28 said.

lovbob
(0)
Report

Hey Ted, It's the ebb and flow of the ocean, the rising and setting of the sun. Give yourself that moment in the valley. Wow--sorry people--the new girl is a little sappy today. But seriously, if you are down, don't fight it. Stay there until you are tired of it. You have a healthy way of expressing yourself, you are balanced, but over-stressed. Aren't we all? In the scheme of things, this IS your job right now. Sometimes we make more money than other times. As Elliot Gould's character said in the film, "Getting Straight", circa 1970: "It's not what you do, it's what you are". That has been my motto--well, one of them--since then, and it's the TRUTH. What more do you want, Bro? A small sack of money, I know.
(4)
Report

Ted: go out but don't tell anyone what you do. make up a new profession each time you go out.

you could tell people that you're a Jackass Counter and take out a little notebook and ask them their name.

lovbob
(6)
Report

I know i'm on a bit of a pity party, but I just feel very betrayed and abondoned and walked-over lately.
(1)
Report

It is hard talkin to people about things when they have no involvement and don't have a clue and then then spit advice at you not knowing how clueless they are.I've changed my friends around through this.Now that the lawsuit is over, people are tip toeing back in------NOPE Don't think so.
(2)
Report

I think I need to just go with the whole hermit thing and stay away from people until I get through this.
(0)
Report

I don't even have a cattle prod and I live on the farm. Those things are high-everythings high.I used to think of cattle prods when I think of attorneys-well,I STILL think of cattle prods when I think of attorneys.
(1)
Report

I have a cattle prod and will stick him in the crevice.
(1)
Report

Was it some idiot at the pub?
(0)
Report

That's what so bad about caregiving sometimes ,you are damned if you do........and damned if you don't.
(5)
Report

Thanks, Bobbie, but it wasn't right. No excuses but I really wanted to enjoy myself and then some idiot try to tear me down for being "lazy" and not working, which got me thinking of the BS my sister tried to pile on me while ripping me off, then the stupid stuff on poor Marissa's thread....
(0)
Report

Ted! We love you! I think you just expressed yourself and we are all cool with it.
Work it out here AND your support group.

Dude, you can't do anything wrong except maybe insult my boat...

I for one figured that you got home from the Pub, checked in and did some carpet bombing and then maybe threw up and had a good sleep.

I said something goofy last night in reply.... did'ja see it? lol

no worries kiddo. You're the brother everybody here wishes they had.

lovbob
(3)
Report

Tennessee - GREAT idea about the registry. I totally agree!!!
(1)
Report

Hi Guys, sorry about the outburst last nite. i guess there is a reason why I'm afraid to leave the house- There's people out there! and those people, or some of them anyway, seem to sit and wait for poeple who are weak or vulnerable so they can get some kicks by screwing with our heads.

Thanks to all of you for understanding that I just got sideswiped by some idiots who don't have a clue about what we go through and enjoy trying to bring us down further so they can feel above us. I just hold so much in sometimes it just builds up and explodes, sorry you had to be the ones I feel comfortable enough to explode on. enough about that,

I have a support group meeting this afternoon, I'll try to work it out there.
(1)
Report

saw marla said SHAME ON YOU ! i thought oh no not another one !
how can u shame someone who s in the black hole ? it just sucks ya in .
prayers for rossella s friend .... xoxo
(3)
Report

I read Marissa's thread and I have nothing to add. You gave her a lot of good advice and I hope she reads her own thread.

Please prayers and thoughts for a old dear friend of mine who will be operated tomorrow for a very bad cancer. She has two young kids.
(3)
Report

This may not be the place to put this but did anyone else see the post from the girl who was kept from her dad, he was ill, her family didn't want her around....and she mentioned something about facebook. Saw this morning on FB that there is virus out there with some of that same info....don't know if that is true but I did notice that the post was rambling and very hard to follow.
(0)
Report

This is a stupid idea,but you know how they have a national register for sex-offenders.Wouldn't it be great if they have a national register for dead-beat siblings-or if a dead beat sibling refuses to help they automatically waver any rights to anything.Siblings acting like they are family just to get money annoys me,while they can't bother to call or help in any way.MY brothers knew the law was in their favor and milked it-it should not be that way-I can't think of another job where people go through and do so much for so little.
(5)
Report

Hey Tennessee - That is also my predicament; not rich, not broke, not yet anyway. I get nothing from the siblings - hence my screen name. No emails, calls, thank yous (are u kidding me??), nothing. They are just waiting for the payout and I'll be court for sure because one of them is so desperate for money. Well, they're going to have to wait a long time, for whatever is left, cause I don't see anything changing for awhile. Screw 'em.
(5)
Report

Ssibling,that was a great gesture on your mom's part-shows that she gets it and really appreciates you-my dad sent me roses one time with a nice note [in appreciation for all I do] He couldn't understand why my brothers treated me badly when I was going to such extreme measures for him-he felt like my brothers should have thanked me for doing their part also-----boy they thanked me alright-all the way to court and back...............These people who are insulting Marissa should use their angry-hostile tones for our politicians-that is where the real problem is-Why don't some of you Marissa bashers do some good for desperate caregivers and help reform some laws-so our hands are't so tied in taking care of our own parents when no one elese will.My dads decline seemed to be no more than a financial opportunity for all-if he was broke he would still had me,but the buzzards would be sitting on anothers fence. Caregivers need help and protection,to do our job well-if you aren't completely broke-but not rich-you are really screwed-you get punished for trying to make ends meet-you don't qualify for anything.
(4)
Report

tennessee you sound like such a remarkable person.....have fun decorating that tree. Bobbie I'm sure I probably missed something way back since I'm new here, but have you considered writing a book about your life and experiences? Maxine, please be careful...I have herniated discs in neck and lower pain and I took a nasty fall down our deck stairs last Spring.....now I'm afraid to walk down them when it's frosty..I have to carry blind doggie out to do her business. Guess it will be the front yard when the frosties hit.
(0)
Report

what a nice way to have my coffee.......I'm still chuckling over the frog........................
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter