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Hubby got us a new bed. We had been sleeping on at least a 51 year old mattress and box springs. The mattress was so thin. No back support. He found a brass bed with a Sealy Posturpedic mattress at an auction and got it for $130.00!! He set it up today and it's so pretty and soooo comfy!! He sprayed the mattress with Lysol spray. :) It's like 5 years old. Bad news is one of my kitties clawed a hole in my dad's poker table. It really upset me because he loved that thing. Ah well, it's just a thing. Feeling really depressed to day. Don't feel like doing a damn thing. I'll be back later.
Mom is now on IV antibiotics for the next few weeks every day. Unlike the last time, the folks at this place are wonderful. They provide transport to & from and have taken a very small bite out of mom's days. She is tired though. More activity than she has been accustomed to but she's holding up OK. The last time she got IV antibiotics she also got Cdiff (a very nasty & explosive diarreha...epidemic) but the doc gave me some good bacteria to ward off the Cdiff. Saccharomyces is now in a pill form & along with yogurt cultures should keep the intestinal balance required. The pill she will take is Florastor....please keep this in mind if ever you or your loved ones need IV antibiotics....it may save your life! Mom lost 60 lbs when she had Cdiff & it almost killed her.
Ted, Looks like my hubby's sister will be just like your's. This Christmas we will be having a buffet of coldcuts & a white elephant gift scenario. We have been instructed to bring one thing of an approx. $40 value from our home to give as a gift to a family member. This is a relatively well to do family but she is crying poverty. Never mind the boat, three cars, 3700 sq ft home & all new everything. Hub and I are comfortable but have not lived beyond our means even when we could have. Hub's sister has alos informed hub that she has "dibs" on the condo in fla when their father dies. I have been told by hub not to mention any of her hard cold heartless behavior to her which seems to be escalating as the years go by. Since she works with hub's dad & has his ear, I told hub he could kiss his inheritance goodbye if his sister has anything to say about it. Hub told me I was wrong but all the evidence points to a hostile takeover of his dad's estate. She is showing signs of the waif/witch syndrome and I hate to see her spend the rest of her life in the shallow end of the pool, but it is her choice. The problem is that no one is allowed to challenge her in any way. All have been content to excuse her of any inpropriety her entire life and she has been allowed to dictate all in regards to family for decades. The whole thing is just so sad and yes I am offended that our LORD will not be welcome for Christmas in their home. Chances are my tounge will have been bit clean thru by the end of the day. Merry Reprobate Holidays! My hub and I are antique dealers and after having been ribbed by sis to her dad for having "found something in our basement" to give as a gift....(which we never did), she now wants to re-gift to all the family. How dare she!!!!!!! All I can say is that we reap what we sow!!!!!! So here I am of to scour the house for a non-gender specific $40 item that I think someone may find to their liking, or just wrap up the items that I already purchased earlier in the year with specific people in mind. I hope our LORD has not been removed from the rest of your festivities.
carat.....I understand completely!! I am taking care of my mother-in-law.......my hubby and I both have POA for her, but I do the care. She is 86, stubborn, knows it all because she was a social worker way back when....:) she was a mess....lived 40 min from us, called her twice a day, would pick her up to eat out every couple of weeks, would meet us outside. Saw a trend of drinking herself to falling down drunk, screaming at hubby on phone, laughed one night cuz she was so drunk couldn't crawl into bed, only 1 bathroom upstairs, so she just peed where ever she wanted, she pooped somewhere one day cuz she dog sat for us and my chihuahua/jack russell rolled in it. Her daughter passed away 2008 and "my world just ended because she was my itty bitty buddy".......oh puleeeezzzz this woman treated momma like dirt. Anyway, she was told that's it nursing home or move closer to us. She paid for and we built a small one-bedroom home attached to our home...I just go downstairs, through the locked door to care for her. We have our days, but she also has to be reminded to follow the rules......when she gets out of hand she will go to the behavioral unit at the hospital for an attitude adjustment. We used the reasoning with her that if something happened we needed to be able to care for her which meant accessing her money, and she signed the POA. If that won't work, then you and hubby may have to have a judge determine he is incompetent and you will be made his guardian. Have you talked with Grandpa about a nursing home? That might also be an alternative. My mother put herself in one and couldn't be happier. Is it feasible to build another bathroom? Feel free to whine.......I haven't been here very long and I whine on a daily basis and these wonderful friends have helped me so much....:)
Jam, thank you for your input. My biggest problem is "Grandpa" is pretty with it most of the time. I'm not his relative, so he doesn't want to listen to me, and my husband stays out of it because he's still working and doesn't have to deal with the day to day aggrivation that I do. I don't understand why "Grandpa" won't wipe from the front if he can't wipe from the back. I have him one of those toilet tissue holders and he just "saved it" like he does everything else. He hates it when I talk to him about his "potty rag" but somebody has to, I just am not sure how to bring up the subject without alienating him altogether. There is only one bathroom in the house, which makes it so much worse. He has money to purchase things he needs to make his life easier but he "saves it for later" just like everything else. He also has a hearing problem, won't get a hearing aid, and learning disabilities which we can't do anything about now he's already 86. I hate to whine, I'm just so darn frustrated with him. :-( Carat6108
before dad came to stay with us , i told my husband i want dad to have his own bathroom . we tore out the closet and made that into his own bathroom . that way nobody s standing in line waiting to use a toilet . and nobodys afraid to sit on a toilet , dad has his own bathroom and has handicap rails and a high toilet (handicap toilet) . walk in shower too , i am soo glad i thought of it . other wise we all be runnin outside to find a corner to pee . elders takes a long time in bathroom and all the mess to clean up . its not so bad cuz i have to stay in the bathrom with dad . i wipe and clean him cuz he cant do it , he tried to wipe his own and lean over so far and wham he fell right on the floor , whoa a hellva black eye he got . i felt so bad for leaving him to give him privacay , well NO MORE ! just hose the bathroom down and wash all the towels and rags and turn around and wash em again . my washer is going all the time , summer has been so dry and i was worried about running out of water (well) so i went got a front loader which saves alot of water . ahh need to get off here ! u guys keep makin me wanna stay and read more ! ok i think i ll leave and goodbye :-) xoxo
catsmeow- the biggest problem with depression is that the person affected doesn't realize it. I care for my husband (60 years) and when asked by the doctor if I was depressed I said "no'. Now I realize that my sense if inadequacy is depression.
carat, they make products that hold the toilet tissue so that it makes it easier for those who can't reach. The older they get the worse it gets....I have to remind mil to wash her hands after she squeezes around on her depends to see if they are wet. I make her use cottonelle wipes to clean with, if she forgets and throws one in the toilet they are supposed to break up in water..... and I've had to make her clean the poop out from under her fingernails. So far I have resisted cleaning her toilet, she has to be told to do it, but I think my day is coming! Yes you will hear the stories over and over and over and over....memory spans are not that long. Take away all the towels and put out as I call them "butt wipes". If he hangs one up at least you can just grab it and toss. Hang one of those automatic air fresheners on the wall....I use them for mil and it smells so much better. It's hard for the parent to be treated like a child and there will be arguing unfortunately when you are trying to steer them in the right direction. Be firm and some things will become easier for you to deal with.....
crow - what do u mean u think u ll leave and good bye , mmmm now got me wondering why you say that for ? what is the matter ? hope what ever is bothering you will become better . weathers gloomy , suppose get afternoon rain and then rain rain and then turn into mix . we will be going out to eat and then go to 40 th bday party , i am so ready , i hope my desenation driver is not afraid to drive on messy road . if he is i ll drive !!! :-) drive like a old old woman , creeeepppp .
pa woke up needing to go pee . man he s still peeing blood the 4th day of it . tears my heart out . makin me wonder how much time does he have left ? :-( i just hate it so much , damn tumor to hell ! i think i ll call the urineoligst and set up an appt and go talk to him alone . i need to know what to expect and how long etc . jsomebody , how is ur dog ? if i read it right u gave the dr ok to remove the stones out - 800 dollars job ., if your dog is old blind and deaf , im afraid the operation prob kill him or shorten his life . 800 bucks is alotta money . i hope it all turns out for the better . love you girl .. g.p . u got al the missing people s name on it ! i wrecked my brain tryin to think who eles ! lol . i understand what ure saying . i took done same thing . get on and read and get off , dont feel like saying anything , then bam when i feel upisty do do i ll say something . i think it is ok to drink once in a while , while n meds . but just dont do it everyday everyday and every hour etc , one or 2 once a great while aint going to hurt . myhusband is on heart meds and man he slurps his beer , loves his beer and i worry about that cuz i dont want his liver to ruin ! my brother was on antidepression meds and he drank so much it was awful ! then he quit drinking and had his liver cked out , its good liver ! oh thank u jesus ! there is a time and a place for a speical drinks , just dont abuse urself with it cuz it can do more damages than good . thats why i refuse to get on antidepressions cuz i fear that i would become more depended on it . when i get so bad nerve wrecking ijust go to bed and sleep it off or if i cant go to bed i pop me a zannie and im good . well i think im going to take me a hot bath and then kick my hindend to clean up around here and bam it be time to go bye bye . mexican resturant have me a good dinner and a mean ole big fat margaritta , you all have a good day , xoxoox
Ok the falls under the topic "Grossed out" My husband and I have moved in with his Step-Father. I had NO idea how hard it would be. I'm so tired of listening to the same old stories over and over but that's actually the EASY part. I have used 4 20oz cans of Lysol in the bathroom in 7 months. The bathroom is the hardest thing to deal with. "Grandpa" as we call him can't reach to use toilet tissue. So his doctor suggested using an old hand towel with soap and water to clean himself. The problem is when he's done in the bathroom it looks like he's taken a shower on the toilet. Water everywhere! So I have to clean the sink AGAIN the toilet AGAIN and clean up the water all over the floor. Then (get this) he hangs the dirty used towel on a small towel rack on the side of the sink, where we have to see and smell it every time we use the bathroom. UGH!! How do I get him to put it in maybe a diaper pail each time he uses one? I'm so tired of the arguing, he thinks what he's doing is fine..... :-( Carat6108
cat I feel for you greatly and you have hit on several points. If you see my profile, you will note that I am married to a physician and I spent 25 yrs as a paramedic. And yes I am sorry to say that the healthcare system is not the way it used to be. There are docs out there that do care, I have one and I also use him for my mil. If I were you I would start talking to friends, etc and find another doctor. Do you have POA? If not, you will get no information because HIPPA prevents you from that. Anyone violating HIPPA is hit with an initial $25000 fine. Any wonder they won't talk? And yes you are also correct in that some doctors look at the elderly as "they have lived their lives, we will just make them comfortable" kind of attitude. Not all of them are like that. Let me give you an example of a day or night in the ER where my hubby works........12 hr shifts....only 1 doc with 11 rooms to treat. There are 2 chest pains, a possible stroke and a GI bleed and these are probably the elderly.......in walks thoughout all this several "my tooth hurts, my back hurts, I fell (no marks or bruises mind you), hysterical crying because "i had diarrhea 3 times and I have a headache".....these people MUST be seen immediately and if they don't walk out with a narcotic script they write a complaint about how mean and nasty the doctor was and wouldn't treat them right!!!!!!! Now I'm not saying the care for those with "real" problems is lacking, but you can see why patient care affects some of these docs. My hubby, who is director of the er, now has a policy to take a urine drug screen for those people with "suspicious" complaints. It's funny how many of them just take off out the door. And these people never pay for their care....that's why they are there to begin with, they owe their doc $$$$$$$$, their own doc gave them a script for narcs and they either sold them or took them all within a couple of days and they need another stash.And payments for services? Depending on what they do.....the other day hubby "worked" a cardiac arrest for 2.5 hrs and his cut of the Medicare/Medicaid payment will be $25. Ok I'm babbling again.................with POA you will be able to get health information and can be more proactive with the care of your mother. I wish you well and keep trying because there are docs out there who do care.
Miz, it sounds like you have a good doctor. I have found the healthcare system difficult to deal with. There are good doctors and there are not-so-good doctors. With managed care I realized I needed to be my own patient advocate. Doctors don't get involved in proactive care anymore.
My parents don't get that. They are used to the days when the doc came to the house. Therefore, they assumed they were getting the care they needed even though it was woefully lacking. I moved back home to care for them in May and have at least been able to make some progress.
That being said, my mom's doctor isn't proactive at all. My mom's down to 90 pounds and nobody at her doctor's office seems to notice. She has been depressed for years, and a year or two ago, when I was still living 400 miles away, I tried to coordinate a visit to her doctor for treatment for depression. My mother insists that she is not depressed so we (my father and I) didn't want the doctor to say that's why she was seeing my mom. I called ahead, twice, once to schedule the appointment and once to confirm that I didn't want the doctor telling my mom she was being seen for depression. I left a message with the receptionist each time.
That was a mistake. The doctor never got the message (I presume) and saw my mother and only gave her more blood pressure medicine. Never asked her about depression.
So now we are back to making another attempt. I have to call to schedule the appointment again. The doctor is somewhat reluctant to discuss my mother's care because of confidentiality laws. I guess I need to have my name listed as a contact so that she can discuss my mother's care with me.
It's frustrating, and exhausting to keep up the care plan. Since the doctors aren't proactive, I feel like I have to be the one mentioning the care I think she needs and the medication. That seems crazy, backward to me, but that's the way it is.
So no, Miz, we haven't looked into that medication yet. I think Monday I will call and ask to speak with her doctor directly. I feel like the doctors look at them as old and ready to die so they don't offer them much attention. It's just sad. My poor father hasn't known what to do and I feel bad for him too. I know he gets just as frustrated as I do.
Hi everyone it snowed a little here last night but the roads look ok. I hope God gives you an extra measure of compasion today and The Cat welcome come on anytime and you will get support and love which will help a lot and try to get some me time each day.
meow, has your mom been put on any medication? It sure sounds like Alzheimer's to me. My mom was put on Aricept and then later also Namenda. I truly believe that this slowed down the progression. A doctor can make a diagnosis of Alzheimer's but there is no way to tell 100% that it is Alzheimer's. The only way to tell is via an autopsy. My mom would have never worn stained clothing but as the Alzheimer's progressed she did not seem to care or was not aware her clothes were stained. The doc said that is one way to tell that it's Alz. She didn't think she needed to bath either. Told me she didn't do anything to get dirty. She didn't want to shower and I think that is because it scared her. My heart goes out to you. Mom's doc said they will find a cure but not in our lifetime. Just try to be patient and know that her odd behavior is not her fault. I'm sure you are patient because I can feel your love in your posts. And remember, no one is perfect. Dealing with it can be very frustrating. You are doing a wonderful thing taking care of her. I share your love for cats as do many on this site. Hugs to you.
It is so comforting to read each of your posts. I can see that my situation is far better than most, and here I was thinking my case was pretty bad. A few of my friends have elderly parents still living, but it doesn't seem like they are having the same issues. Their parent's minds still seem intact.
My mom is in the early to mid stages of dementia I believe. I'm not sure how they differentiate dementia from alzheimer's, but I know that alzheimer's is more difficult to deal with than dementia. My mother hasn't started wandering yet, and for the most part she's coherent and not belligerent. She doesn't demand to go out at odd times and seems pretty aware of her surroundings. She's just not into bathing or cleanliness, or eating.
A friend of mine, who is a nurse, said that they've used the yellow police tape in nursing homes to stop people from wandering. She said that there's something about the tape that they don't cross. I'm going to check back with her to confirm this, but I remember her telling me even if it's taped to the floor, they won't cross it.
And yes, I could not survive without my cat! She's a Godsend, just like the folks on this forum. Thanks all!
Hey Everybody! Linda, you're so sweet to ask where I am! I'm here! Been reading the posts every day. Most of the time I don't have the energy to post anything, but I still feel connected by reading what my online family has to say! I don't know what's wrong with me...I have absolutely NO energy whatsoever!!! Plus I have my days & nights turned around, which is making it more difficult! Not going to bed until usually 4 am & then don't want to get up when I need to in the morning. HUUUmmmm...I haven't had rum & Coke in years & would consider that to help me get to sleep earlier, but can't do any alkie with my med. Bummer!!! I think the med may be the culprit, too that's making my sleep asque! Oh well...
Miz, I really wish that I knew what to say or do to make things easier for you & to help you through this. Please know that my heart is there with you & if I can do anything for you all you have to do is to let me know. I'll be glad when you get to go to the boat!
Jen, that's wonderful news that your Mom has resigned from her job! What did her bosses say today to her? I hope your foot gets better REAL soon...sooner than expected & that you'll be able to get out of the house & find a job & start rebuilding your life! You are SO articulate, have you thought of working at a newspaper office? I think you'd be great at it!
Ted, how wonderful that you may get to Bobbie's in Jan.!!! You know we'll all be there with you in spirit! You go guy!!!
Rossella, you're so funny! You always make me laugh! You have really amazing insight! How good you are to your Mom! Be proud of YOU!!!
Linda, you take such good are of Pa! I am so sorry that you're going through this change with him. I know it's difficult to see the changes.
Rip, you know how special you are to me! Sisters!!! One that I actually like! LOL
Bobbie, Captain!!! Still staying warm?? Not physic...just concerned! We're a team & have to take care of & be there for each other! You know, the way that you care!
Kuli, Tenn, 'Lil Tenny, Castoff, Deefer, Diane, Austin, SS, Pirate, Angie, Kelleybean,(please forgive me if I'm haven't included you...it wasn't intentional) what you're doing or have done, too, is SO commendable! Unless you're a caregiver you don't understand what a sacrifice you've given! You guys are ALL Aces, in my book...Everyone of you caregivers!!!
SelfSib, ssk, Jam & catsmeow, WELCOME to our family!!! You're one of us, now! I can tell you from experience that this site has helped not only me, but each of us to survive this tremendous ordeal that we've been through! You guys are always there with just the right word at just the right time to make a difference...probably even a difference in life or death if we were all that honest with each other! I know that I sure am glad that I found this site when I did. I was going through a very dark time in my life & I don't think I'd have made it without you! Thank You! I'm real sentimental about you guys!
By the way, it's nice to hear each others backgrounds of where you've come from & where you are now & where you hope to be in the future. Love the stories!
And then I had to take Monty into to the vet for emergency surgery tonight, while mom was at work and fart pants was at ADH, I had to call a cab and time it so I would be home before he was... Vet had to remove blocking bladder stones....God just kill me now...It cost $881.oo dollars, yes wiped out my moms savings in checking on the day she gave her notice at work...I don't care anymore I just don't care. It is just more misery about money I don't have. I don't care let them stew. He has more money in his checking than she makes in three years and as he DOES NOT PAY US...WELL HE CAN JUST BE USEFUL TILL HE IS DEAD!!! IF I COULD GET DRUNK I WOULD SCAPE YOU WILL HAVE TO IMBIBE FOR ME. I can't take any more...
rossellamex - Thank you. I'll look back in the posts. Thnx very much :) Yikes! When I heard NO one was caring for two parents; made me feel very alone. But that's ok. It's the reality of it. I think I'm a new generation and there are going to be a lot more of me sooner than we think. Because of medical technology of course. I'm not complaining, just explaining. Regardless, it's daunting, especially because both my sister and brother have abandoned me. One only wants their money and the other is just lazy.
Miz-I understand how you feel, my sweet Mom has been gone for 5 months and I re-live that sad day daily, I feel so alone now, I pray it gets easier in the near future. I am alone now, husbands been gone for years and life is just empty.
rossella, we are going for one night to St. Louis to see a college basketball game on Dec. 22nd. Then we will go to hubby's parents for Christmas on the 24th for one or two nights. We will talk about something longer soon. It is REALLY hard for me right now being in this house. I miss my mama.
SelfSib, there is a lady here, Angie, who takes care of both parents. She has not written here for a while. I guess she does not have the time to switch on the computer! If you look back in the messages, I think one month or two month ago, you can write her.
Sskape, how nice! Italy, Poland, Ireland. You have a pretty good idea of old Europe! My logo is a tattoo I have on my shoulder. I "doctored" it with a very simple software, but it is taken by a photo of the tattoo. Of course the original is a black cat; I put on a sweater because it's cold. Linda, I understand you so well. My mother always wants to go out. Day, night, she does not care. She can't stay still. She calms down just the evening because she is tired. But for the rest of the time, it seems she has a battery inside that never stops. I don't know where she finds all that energy. I think this is why I am so tired. It's difficult to keep pace with her. She tries to escape a lot. From the house, from the car.... It's a mess. Miz, I think it is a very good idea you take your hubby and you go somewhere. You need it right now....
It's rough, sskape. My mom was so kind and sweet 99% of the time and it was still hard. Had it been my dad I think it would have been even harder. As much as I hate the fact that he passed 5 years ago and as much as I miss him, I would not have wanted to see him in that state. I feel bad saying that but I feel certain he would not have wanted it either. Linda my heart goes out to you. The great thing is that it seems like your pa is happy at least some of the time. That is thanks to you, sweetie. :) You ARE an angel. Enjoy your dad. I know he is grateful.
Linda, before drinking the rum you have to try to go on a diet and then break down and have a drink instead. I would think it is harder to care for a Dad with Alz than a Mom. My Dad had demenia and refused to get into a wheelchair and would not cooperate at all. He kept calling out for Dr. Kavorkian to "put him to sleep " Now I know better what my Mom had to go through.
To continue my story, I married an Irish man and we had two wonderful sons, now 26 and 31. Chris, my hubby, passed away two years ago. So here I am drinking rum and tonic and talking to you folks. I'm waiting for bobbie to pull up in her Trawler to take us all out for a ride!
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love,
miz
Hope all improves for all of us.
Mom is now on IV antibiotics for the next few weeks every day. Unlike the last time, the folks at this place are wonderful. They provide transport to & from and have taken a very small bite out of mom's days. She is tired though. More activity than she has been accustomed to but she's holding up OK. The last time she got IV antibiotics she also got Cdiff (a very nasty & explosive diarreha...epidemic) but the doc gave me some good bacteria to ward off the Cdiff. Saccharomyces is now in a pill form & along with yogurt cultures should keep the intestinal balance required. The pill she will take is Florastor....please keep this in mind if ever you or your loved ones need IV antibiotics....it may save your life! Mom lost 60 lbs when she had Cdiff & it almost killed her.
Ted, Looks like my hubby's sister will be just like your's. This Christmas we will be having a buffet of coldcuts & a white elephant gift scenario. We have been instructed to bring one thing of an approx. $40 value from our home to give as a gift to a family member. This is a relatively well to do family but she is crying poverty. Never mind the boat, three cars, 3700 sq ft home & all new everything. Hub and I are comfortable but have not lived beyond our means even when we could have. Hub's sister has alos informed hub that she has "dibs" on the condo in fla when their father dies. I have been told by hub not to mention any of her hard cold heartless behavior to her which seems to be escalating as the years go by. Since she works with hub's dad & has his ear, I told hub he could kiss his inheritance goodbye if his sister has anything to say about it. Hub told me I was wrong but all the evidence points to a hostile takeover of his dad's estate. She is showing signs of the waif/witch syndrome and I hate to see her spend the rest of her life in the shallow end of the pool, but it is her choice. The problem is that no one is allowed to challenge her in any way. All have been content to excuse her of any inpropriety her entire life and she has been allowed to dictate all in regards to family for decades. The whole thing is just so sad and yes I am offended that our LORD will not be welcome for Christmas in their home. Chances are my tounge will have been bit clean thru by the end of the day. Merry Reprobate Holidays! My hub and I are antique dealers and after having been ribbed by sis to her dad for having "found something in our basement" to give as a gift....(which we never did), she now wants to re-gift to all the family. How dare she!!!!!!!
All I can say is that we reap what we sow!!!!!!
So here I am of to scour the house for a non-gender specific $40 item that I think someone may find to their liking, or just wrap up the items that I already purchased earlier in the year with specific people in mind.
I hope our LORD has not been removed from the rest of your festivities.
Carat6108
dad has his own bathroom and has handicap rails and a high toilet (handicap toilet) . walk in shower too , i am soo glad i thought of it . other wise we all be runnin outside to find a corner to pee . elders takes a long time in bathroom and all the mess to clean up . its not so bad cuz i have to stay in the bathrom with dad . i wipe and clean him cuz he cant do it , he tried to wipe his own and lean over so far and wham he fell right on the floor , whoa a hellva black eye he got . i felt so bad for leaving him to give him privacay , well NO MORE !
just hose the bathroom down and wash all the towels and rags and turn around and wash em again . my washer is going all the time , summer has been so dry and i was worried about running out of water (well) so i went got a front loader which saves alot of water .
ahh need to get off here ! u guys keep makin me wanna stay and read more ! ok i think i ll leave and goodbye :-)
xoxo
weathers gloomy , suppose get afternoon rain and then rain rain and then turn into mix . we will be going out to eat and then go to 40 th bday party , i am so ready , i hope my desenation driver is not afraid to drive on messy road . if he is i ll drive !!! :-) drive like a old old woman , creeeepppp .
pa woke up needing to go pee . man he s still peeing blood the 4th day of it . tears my heart out . makin me wonder how much time does he have left ? :-( i just hate it so much , damn tumor to hell ! i think i ll call the urineoligst and set up an appt and go talk to him alone . i need to know what to expect and how long etc .
jsomebody , how is ur dog ? if i read it right u gave the dr ok to remove the stones out - 800 dollars job ., if your dog is old blind and deaf , im afraid the operation prob kill him or shorten his life . 800 bucks is alotta money . i hope it all turns out for the better . love you girl ..
g.p . u got al the missing people s name on it ! i wrecked my brain tryin to think who eles ! lol . i understand what ure saying . i took done same thing . get on and read and get off , dont feel like saying anything , then bam when i feel upisty do do i ll say something . i think it is ok to drink once in a while , while n meds . but just dont do it everyday everyday and every hour etc , one or 2 once a great while aint going to hurt . myhusband is on heart meds and man he slurps his beer , loves his beer and i worry about that cuz i dont want his liver to ruin !
my brother was on antidepression meds and he drank so much it was awful ! then he quit drinking and had his liver cked out , its good liver ! oh thank u jesus ! there is a time and a place for a speical drinks , just dont abuse urself with it cuz it can do more damages than good .
thats why i refuse to get on antidepressions cuz i fear that i would become more depended on it . when i get so bad nerve wrecking ijust go to bed and sleep it off or if i cant go to bed i pop me a zannie and im good .
well i think im going to take me a hot bath and then kick my hindend to clean up around here and bam it be time to go bye bye . mexican resturant have me a good dinner and a mean ole big fat margaritta ,
you all have a good day , xoxoox
My husband and I have moved in with his Step-Father. I had NO idea how hard it would be. I'm so tired of listening to the same old stories over and over but that's actually the EASY part.
I have used 4 20oz cans of Lysol in the bathroom in 7 months. The bathroom is the hardest thing to deal with. "Grandpa" as we call him can't reach to use toilet tissue. So his doctor suggested using an old hand towel with soap and water to clean himself. The problem is when he's done in the bathroom it looks like he's taken a shower on the toilet. Water everywhere! So I have to clean the sink AGAIN the toilet AGAIN and clean up the water all over the floor. Then (get this) he hangs the dirty used towel on a small towel rack on the side of the sink, where we have to see and smell it every time we use the bathroom. UGH!! How do I get him to put it in maybe a diaper pail each time he uses one? I'm so tired of the arguing, he thinks what he's doing is fine..... :-(
Carat6108
My parents don't get that. They are used to the days when the doc came to the house. Therefore, they assumed they were getting the care they needed even though it was woefully lacking. I moved back home to care for them in May and have at least been able to make some progress.
That being said, my mom's doctor isn't proactive at all. My mom's down to 90 pounds and nobody at her doctor's office seems to notice. She has been depressed for years, and a year or two ago, when I was still living 400 miles away, I tried to coordinate a visit to her doctor for treatment for depression. My mother insists that she is not depressed so we (my father and I) didn't want the doctor to say that's why she was seeing my mom. I called ahead, twice, once to schedule the appointment and once to confirm that I didn't want the doctor telling my mom she was being seen for depression. I left a message with the receptionist each time.
That was a mistake. The doctor never got the message (I presume) and saw my mother and only gave her more blood pressure medicine. Never asked her about depression.
So now we are back to making another attempt. I have to call to schedule the appointment again. The doctor is somewhat reluctant to discuss my mother's care because of confidentiality laws. I guess I need to have my name listed as a contact so that she can discuss my mother's care with me.
It's frustrating, and exhausting to keep up the care plan. Since the doctors aren't proactive, I feel like I have to be the one mentioning the care I think she needs and the medication. That seems crazy, backward to me, but that's the way it is.
So no, Miz, we haven't looked into that medication yet. I think Monday I will call and ask to speak with her doctor directly. I feel like the doctors look at them as old and ready to die so they don't offer them much attention. It's just sad. My poor father hasn't known what to do and I feel bad for him too. I know he gets just as frustrated as I do.
love,
miz
My mom is in the early to mid stages of dementia I believe. I'm not sure how they differentiate dementia from alzheimer's, but I know that alzheimer's is more difficult to deal with than dementia. My mother hasn't started wandering yet, and for the most part she's coherent and not belligerent. She doesn't demand to go out at odd times and seems pretty aware of her surroundings. She's just not into bathing or cleanliness, or eating.
A friend of mine, who is a nurse, said that they've used the yellow police tape in nursing homes to stop people from wandering. She said that there's something about the tape that they don't cross. I'm going to check back with her to confirm this, but I remember her telling me even if it's taped to the floor, they won't cross it.
And yes, I could not survive without my cat! She's a Godsend, just like the folks on this forum. Thanks all!
Goodnight and goodbye
Miz, I really wish that I knew what to say or do to make things easier for you & to help you through this. Please know that my heart is there with you & if I can do anything for you all you have to do is to let me know. I'll be glad when you get to go to the boat!
Jen, that's wonderful news that your Mom has resigned from her job! What did her bosses say today to her? I hope your foot gets better REAL soon...sooner than expected & that you'll be able to get out of the house & find a job & start rebuilding your life! You are SO articulate, have you thought of working at a newspaper office? I think you'd be great at it!
Ted, how wonderful that you may get to Bobbie's in Jan.!!! You know we'll all be there with you in spirit! You go guy!!!
Rossella, you're so funny! You always make me laugh! You have really amazing insight! How good you are to your Mom! Be proud of YOU!!!
Linda, you take such good are of Pa! I am so sorry that you're going through this change with him. I know it's difficult to see the changes.
Rip, you know how special you are to me! Sisters!!! One that I actually like! LOL
Bobbie, Captain!!! Still staying warm?? Not physic...just concerned! We're a team & have to take care of & be there for each other! You know, the way that you care!
Kuli, Tenn, 'Lil Tenny, Castoff, Deefer, Diane, Austin, SS, Pirate, Angie, Kelleybean,(please forgive me if I'm haven't included you...it wasn't intentional) what you're doing or have done, too, is SO commendable! Unless you're a caregiver you don't understand what a sacrifice you've given! You guys are ALL Aces, in my book...Everyone of you caregivers!!!
SelfSib, ssk, Jam & catsmeow, WELCOME to our family!!! You're one of us, now! I can tell you from experience that this site has helped not only me, but each of us to survive this tremendous ordeal that we've been through! You guys are always there with just the right word at just the right time to make a difference...probably even a difference in life or death if we were all that honest with each other! I know that I sure am glad that I found this site when I did. I was going through a very dark time in my life & I don't think I'd have made it without you! Thank You! I'm real sentimental about you guys!
By the way, it's nice to hear each others backgrounds of where you've come from & where you are now & where you hope to be in the future. Love the stories!
Smiles & hugs to everyone!
Goodnight,
Peach
IF I COULD GET DRUNK I WOULD SCAPE YOU WILL HAVE TO IMBIBE FOR ME.
I can't take any more...
Linda, I understand you so well. My mother always wants to go out. Day, night, she does not care. She can't stay still. She calms down just the evening because she is tired. But for the rest of the time, it seems she has a battery inside that never stops. I don't know where she finds all that energy. I think this is why I am so tired. It's difficult to keep pace with her. She tries to escape a lot. From the house, from the car.... It's a mess.
Miz, I think it is a very good idea you take your hubby and you go somewhere. You need it right now....
love,
miz