Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
ssk ,i need to try that rum . rum and 7up ? think i had that before , been years ! tmr my hubby and i are going with 2 other couple to a bday party , dj jammin ! so we re going to go mex place and have dinner and margaritta , friend doesnt drink so he s going to drive ! so that tells me i ll prob be sick sunday :-) daughter is going to sit with dad . woohoo had hard time with dad a bit ago , think his demtentia is getting worst , he wants his coat and gotta go get hi scar blah blah blah , i open the front door to show him that its dark out he doesnt care get my coat linda i gotta get my car waaaaaaa . van is in the drive way thats ur car , nooooo it aint thats urs waaaaaaa go get my coat i gotta gotta , i put his coat on and stood by the woodstove bragging how warm this stove is and talked him into about how hungry i am and its time to fix dinner , blah blah finaly he gave up said ok im hungry . man its getting worst , been like that all week long . wheres gerogiapeach ! wheres deefer ? somebody eles is missing , miz i am so sorry . it will take a long time to heal ur heart and take ur sadness away , i think it would be nice if u and hubby could just get away and take a roadtrip to bobbie s boat ? if u do go plz stop by here and take me , lol love you girl ! i need to go out in the van and look for that strap my friend gave me , may tie that to guard rail to guardrail and see if it helps to keep him in bed ? pillows tuck in sheets etc just not workin , found him on the floor at 3 am this mornin , lucky he s ok . ill be back after meduims over . xoxoox
rosellamex, I like your purple cat logo. It's cute I tried to go on a diet today and did well until an hour ago when I drank some rum and tonic and then baked some christmas cookies and ate them. Italy My Mom is Ialian my Dad, Polish. Mom's family all born here, Dad's came over on "the boat" When I was 16 we took a trip to Europe an went to Rome, then on to Switzerland. Skiing. Those were the good old days. We went to a town in Italy in the mountains, Corvesa ? My Dad fell in love with Italy while serving in WWII. He married my Mom, and Italian, who was 15 yrs younger than him. Now I'm taking care of her as he passed on in 1997. I have had a couple of rums so I' babbling. ssk
Meow, welcome!! I haven't said much lately cause I'm so sad about my mom. Getting through each day and hour. This group has been such a support for me that mere words can not express it. Please stick with us. You will be glad you did. SelfishSiblings, I don't think I have greeted you yet either and I am sorry. Welcome!!
Yes Meow, the stress of caregiving is very strong and it affects people in different ways, as I have seen from this thread. Everyone has his reactions. I scream sometimes, I am just depressed sometimes, I say stupid things sometimes, I dream of vacations and just carry my mind and soul out of here. I drink, sometimes! There are a few good days where I feel happy anyway. But I am always tired! I am talking about myself. Many people here deal with this situation better than I do. Which I regret most is the loss of freedom... BTW I have many cats. One is just sitting in my lap and purring purring.
cat......you are not alone. Your mom sounds like my mil. The day she stepped on my last nerve and it snapped, scared the hell out of her when I snatched her scrawny butt up off the couch, stripped her naked and put her in the tub. Now gets bathed twice a week and doesn't smell like the bottom of an outhouse toilet. I let my son know now just how much I love him and know he will care for me when I get to that "awful" mental time. I have 2 daughters who are self-centered brats and thinks the world revolves around them....oops there I go again!
I have to say I am glad to have found all of you.....you have given me good and helpful advice and even listened while I whined and bitched. That I think has been a Godsend.......of course my hubby doesn't want to hear what a pain in the arse his mommy is....but none of you sit in judgement since you've been there, done that........
selfish, I take care of mil....my mom put herself in nursing home. If I had to take care of both I really do believe I would cut my throat. J, I agree.....leave my little dog alone.....I have a 14 yr old female poodle, blind, deaf and has 3 teeth left and a heart still as big as the moon!
I need my mommy...Man this just keep getting better. I am in a ankle boot, I have no transportation, fart pants is at ADH and due to come home at 3:00 My Pug Monty now blind and deaf and diabetic is no having trouble peeing and we know he has a stone in his bladder...I have called a cab, to come get us at 2:15. I will have to drop him off and be home so fart Pants won't be alone and do something STUUPID! Then wait for mom to get home 4:00 and go back to vet for the official appointment?!!!!! Did I mention I need a bath and now just don't care!!! I am so addled I could puke! I was gonna pray but when I do things get worse so I will just handle it MYSELF~!!!!!!!!! I debated calling mom at work but she has been hassled by them for last weeks emergency (is this one?) and gave her resignation this morning so I will TAKE FART PANTS MONEY AND GO MYSELF AND COME BACK !!! HE can pay for it, HE can afford it. HE has more money in his checking account than my mom has made in 3 years!!! BITE ME OLD MAN!!!!
GOD, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME BUT LEAVE MY LITTLE DOG ALONE!!!!
instead of jumping out of the window , just hop on this , :-) yes ure right what goes around comes back around . thats my moms fav saying ! she passed away 64 yrs old cancer . 21 yrs ago , i miss my mommy .
no not both , as far as i know anybody i talk to on this thread is caring for one parent , while back theres few that just lost thier parent but still come back and talks to us , we became friends and we be lost without em . bless your heart for caring 2 parent ! lord ! thank god for supportive hubby and kids , i know mine is ! my husbands mother has alz real bad but her other son is caring for her , i dont think i can handle her . hubby knows how she is , shes real sweet buts she s sneaky and a thief and stinks . too much hairspray and too much purfume , kills my sinus and i get blasted headache migrian and im just totaly sick . cant breath ! she was here for thanksgiving and lord behold i cant smell my dinner ! was glad she got in to her son s face about going home , it was non stop and finaly he said ok ok we go ! whew !!! i thought they were going to stay all week ! but they stayed few days . yippy !! bless your heart for caring both parents , i admire you ! xoxox
lhardebeck - thanks for the welcome! Much appreciated. I'm on every day now. Maybe like you, the situation caring for them levels off somedays then you have a new issue to deal with, and you're ready to jump out the window. I have a very supportive family (my husband and kids). And as for my useless siblings, what goes around, comes around. I have a question for the group: does anyone have BOTH parents they are caring for? Peace out...
meow .. when dad first came here to stay i didnt know that we could buy gloves off the counter , thought hospital and doc s office only carrys them oops wrong .. i cry everytime i had to clean dad up cuz poop would always land on my hand , and i just get so gross out but didnt have any choice but to wash my hands for the longest time . now i buy those lovely godsend gloves and handle whatever needs to be handled and when im done the lovely gloves goes in the trash . i still wash my hands anyway . use gloves and u wont be gross out as much , maybe u ll be able to clean ur mom up real good with those gloves and yank those nasty dentures out . took dad out for a joy ride few hrs ago , he kept sayin i gotta go i gotta go to work oh i gotta go car shopping , got tired of hearing it . so load him up in the van all by myself , told him he s gotta help me out and boy he did . went to kfc got him a bowl of yummies then he wanted a sandwhich so went to white catsle and got him pulled pork sandwhich , happy camper he was till he realize we were headin for home , told him nana we ll go see amy ( my daughter) . pulled up in her drive way while he says hi to her and while i step outside tp smoke a quicke ciggy then told him its sure is getting colder out we best head home , he agrees , so now he s nappin . lol think i ll take one too . xoxox
The cat welcome to this great group we are a family-but not a normal family we like each other and laugh and crey-mostly laugh and sometimes disagree and sometime argue but mostly laugh and support each other-I have been here since spring of 08 and even though my husband died about 1 and 1/2 yrs. ago I had so many friends here I keep coming back and at time can be a little help for others as they make this journey of caregiving-first of all ask and accept help do not be so proud that you say oh no I am handling things fine because people will think they never have to help if you refuse at first and when I did ask for help they did not take me seriously-just venting can make it possible to go on at times.
BTW, Meow, I have the increasing impression that we (caregivers) are the photocopy of one another and our aged relatives are the photocopy of one another, and our relationship with them is a photocopy, (the photocopy of a photocopy is a photocopy). There is a math formula: poo/pee+ our mind = to freak out. If you have read my last two posts you will understand that my level of freaking out is quite high...
Hello meow, welcome to this "cage aux folles" and cat/dog lovers. I am very blue at the moment, so I keep my brain busy with very important questions as far as the English language is concerned.: Does the expression "needless to say" mean that you can't stitch because you don't have the tools? Is really the "is cream" the noisest dessert in the world? If a person inspires you, do you breath better, after? I am reading all your posts, people, and I would like to tell you many things, but I'm too tired to do it. I hope to recover my usual shape in a few days (?months?) (?years?) (?centuries?) (?eons?)
I know I'm going to be an avid follower of this thread, that's for sure. It was so nice to finally laugh. I honestly thought that my mother's issues were unique, had no idea that what she's doing is actually common!
Sounds like some of you are far more comfortable with the cleaning routine than I am. I am so grossed out by my mother's mouth that I can't fathom going in and yanking out the dentures to clean them. There are just some places I cannot go.
You are right, we have to laugh. It is necessary for mental health. I read an article here last night about the elderly mind. I didn't realize that my mother, even though she appears "here," may be really mentally living years back.
Years ago my father admitted that he and my mother had not had sex in years (okay, a little too much information, but the poor guy had to tell somebody I guess). I know for a fact that they never resumed it either. So today, while my mother was out getting her hair done, my father told me that the other day my mother came out and said, "We need to talk." He was shocked that should would even say that, then he asked her what they needed to talk about, and she said sex!
My father didn't pursue the conversation with her, because, at this point, he's lost interest due to her problems with cleanliness (can't blame him a bit). But now I know that her mind might be thinking it's 20 years ago! If she realized where she was today, she never would have said that!
meow....hang in there. I'm rather new to the site too. And addicted because everyone has been very supportive and helpful to me. My deadbeat siblings left me with both parents to care for. Dad's an angry, crazy nut and Mom can't change her own behavior to meet his needs. Emotional abuse for sure. Them on each other and both of them on me. They expect me to be their marriage counselor. No thank you!, I said. It's a nightmare and so overwhelming. Continue to seek out help at every turn. It will save you. There's an angel out there for all of us. There are quite a few right here.
thecatmeows , !!! welcome to this site ! you must have read the whole thing ! bobbie talking about febreeze is long ways back ! bless your heart , sometimes we have to fight with stinky elders , stinkin just so bad , dad used to fight with me then he realize it doesnt do any good cuz i just reach in his mouth and grab them dentures . now he cant wear them cuz he doesnt know how to suck the denture up in place . falls down falls out , spent 1800. on upper denture last summer and he cant even wear it ! this fall i found a place where its only 400 for whole thing ! only wish i took him there in the first place . forget it now . 87 yrs old doesnt swallow good anymore so its soft food from now on . sounds like ure a cat lover . as most of us are animal lovers , keep in touch its a best place tobe at gross out vent out ! thanks to bobbie our caption ! xoxo meow meow ..
Cat, WECOME! I believe this site, this thread in particular, has improved my day-to-day life tremendously. I LAUGH at things now! Lotsa things, like my mom's newfound interest in nudism, or the fact that I have been sitting here all morning listening to the cartoons and Sesame Street that she's been watching (She is a life-long member of MENSA) and especially at myself. so grab a life ring, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
meow...I consider it a sort of vent central myself...And we go through a lot of air fresheners around here....The whole thing is insane. One fastidious loved ones content to live and sit in filth is beyond me...and I hope it remains so. Quantity of life rather than quality has made an industry out of prolonging the stage of life when one is almost an infant again, only not as cute recalcitrant and still aware they once had authority. I think this is why nursing homes were invented...who wants to live like this...who wants to watch.....
I'm new to this forum and I can't thank you all enough for what I've read here. I was having a particularly bad day yesterday, full of frustration and then I happened upon this site. It wasn't long before I was actually laughing, reading some of the posts and feeling that, for once, I wasn't alone.
The story about spraying the person who refused to bathe with Febreeze was priceless! I too get grossed out dealing with my 82-year-old mother who I was never particularly close to, and am now the primary caregiver. She bathes infrequently, often spreads crap around the bathroom, and wears clothes that are dirty and stained. She's an embarrassment and fights me at every turn. When my father and I complain about her sloppiness in the bathroom, she calls us "too fussy."
She does not care about cleanliness at all and never washes her hands and will sit with crap in her pants rather than change to a clean pair of underwear. Needless to say, I won't let her anywhere near the kitchen during food preparation.
She has just given up and that's really hard to deal with. I can't just let her sit in the chair all day and die, but that's what I think she wants. She hasn't had her dentures out for cleaning in God knows how long. The dentures don't fit properly and she cannot chew meat enough to safely swallow. So she chews the meat and then spits it out. I cringed when we were all out to dinner in a nice restaurant with friends and she bent over the plate and spit out the meat!
After reading some of the posts and articles on this site, I realize that it's not her fault – her mind is going – but it's hard to have patience. I'm striving for compassion but it's a daily battle. I so appreciate having a place to vent among others who are experiencing the same thing. Thank you all!
jsomebody , that is a wonderful news ! yes when ur ankle gets better u shall get out and start working to earn enuff for ur retirement when u get up there old age . meeting new people and making new friends will do u some good , sitting at home all the time is makin me sick , i have no enegry i just dont want to do anything anymore . but then i count my blessing to be at home not having to deal with anybody other than my dad and my lit family , its all g ood , i shall kick my hindend and go clean , only i wish i had bobbie s coffee . xoxoxo
I think she has thought about it a lot and though worried, she feels it is time to go. She says she is old and tired and worn out. She has a background in social services and law so it isn't an un thought out or un-educated decision...
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
tmr my hubby and i are going with 2 other couple to a bday party , dj jammin ! so we re going to go mex place and have dinner and margaritta , friend doesnt drink so he s going to drive ! so that tells me i ll prob be sick sunday :-) daughter is going to sit with dad . woohoo
had hard time with dad a bit ago , think his demtentia is getting worst , he wants his coat and gotta go get hi scar blah blah blah , i open the front door to show him that its dark out he doesnt care get my coat linda i gotta get my car waaaaaaa . van is in the drive way thats ur car , nooooo it aint thats urs waaaaaaa go get my coat i gotta gotta , i put his coat on and stood by the woodstove bragging how warm this stove is and talked him into about how hungry i am and its time to fix dinner , blah blah finaly he gave up said ok im hungry .
man its getting worst , been like that all week long .
wheres gerogiapeach ! wheres deefer ? somebody eles is missing ,
miz i am so sorry . it will take a long time to heal ur heart and take ur sadness away , i think it would be nice if u and hubby could just get away and take a roadtrip to bobbie s boat ? if u do go plz stop by here and take me , lol love you girl !
i need to go out in the van and look for that strap my friend gave me , may tie that to guard rail to guardrail and see if it helps to keep him in bed ? pillows tuck in sheets etc just not workin , found him on the floor at 3 am this mornin , lucky he s ok .
ill be back after meduims over . xoxoox
I tried to go on a diet today and did well until an hour ago when I drank some rum and tonic and then baked some
christmas cookies and ate them.
Italy My Mom is Ialian my Dad, Polish. Mom's family all born here, Dad's came over on "the boat" When I was 16 we took a trip to Europe an went to Rome, then on to Switzerland. Skiing. Those were the good old days. We went to a town in Italy in the mountains, Corvesa ? My Dad fell in love with Italy while serving in WWII. He married my Mom, and Italian, who was 15 yrs younger than him. Now I'm taking care of her as he passed on in 1997. I have had a couple of rums so I' babbling.
ssk
love,
miz
BTW I have many cats. One is just sitting in my lap and purring purring.
J, I agree.....leave my little dog alone.....I have a 14 yr old female poodle, blind, deaf and has 3 teeth left and a heart still as big as the moon!
Did I mention I need a bath and now just don't care!!! I am so addled I could puke! I was gonna pray but when I do things get worse so I will just handle it MYSELF~!!!!!!!!!
I debated calling mom at work but she has been hassled by them for last weeks emergency (is this one?) and gave her resignation this morning so I will TAKE FART PANTS MONEY AND GO MYSELF AND COME BACK !!! HE can pay for it, HE can afford it. HE has more money in his checking account than my mom has made in 3 years!!! BITE ME OLD MAN!!!!
GOD, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME BUT LEAVE MY LITTLE DOG ALONE!!!!
yes ure right what goes around comes back around . thats my moms fav saying ! she passed away 64 yrs old cancer . 21 yrs ago , i miss my mommy .
bless your heart for caring 2 parent ! lord ! thank god for supportive hubby and kids , i know mine is ! my husbands mother has alz real bad but her other son is caring for her , i dont think i can handle her . hubby knows how she is , shes real sweet buts she s sneaky and a thief and stinks . too much hairspray and too much purfume , kills my sinus and i get blasted headache migrian and im just totaly sick . cant breath ! she was here for thanksgiving and lord behold i cant smell my dinner ! was glad she got in to her son s face about going home , it was non stop and finaly he said ok ok we go ! whew !!! i thought they were going to stay all week ! but they stayed few days . yippy !!
bless your heart for caring both parents , i admire you !
xoxox
keep comin back for more gross out and ventin out .
we are faimly here not no siblings .
xoxo
use gloves and u wont be gross out as much , maybe u ll be able to clean ur mom up real good with those gloves and yank those nasty dentures out .
took dad out for a joy ride few hrs ago , he kept sayin i gotta go i gotta go to work oh i gotta go car shopping , got tired of hearing it . so load him up in the van all by myself , told him he s gotta help me out and boy he did . went to kfc got him a bowl of yummies then he wanted a sandwhich so went to white catsle and got him pulled pork sandwhich , happy camper he was till he realize we were headin for home , told him nana we ll go see amy ( my daughter) . pulled up in her drive way while he says hi to her and while i step outside tp smoke a quicke ciggy then told him its sure is getting colder out we best head home , he agrees , so now he s nappin . lol think i ll take one too . xoxox
poo/pee+ our mind = to freak out.
If you have read my last two posts you will understand that my level of freaking out is quite high...
I am very blue at the moment, so I keep my brain busy with very important questions as far as the English language is concerned.:
Does the expression "needless to say" mean that you can't stitch because you don't have the tools?
Is really the "is cream" the noisest dessert in the world?
If a person inspires you, do you breath better, after?
I am reading all your posts, people, and I would like to tell you many things, but I'm too tired to do it. I hope to recover my usual shape in a few days (?months?) (?years?) (?centuries?) (?eons?)
Sounds like some of you are far more comfortable with the cleaning routine than I am. I am so grossed out by my mother's mouth that I can't fathom going in and yanking out the dentures to clean them. There are just some places I cannot go.
You are right, we have to laugh. It is necessary for mental health. I read an article here last night about the elderly mind. I didn't realize that my mother, even though she appears "here," may be really mentally living years back.
Years ago my father admitted that he and my mother had not had sex in years (okay, a little too much information, but the poor guy had to tell somebody I guess). I know for a fact that they never resumed it either. So today, while my mother was out getting her hair done, my father told me that the other day my mother came out and said, "We need to talk." He was shocked that should would even say that, then he asked her what they needed to talk about, and she said sex!
My father didn't pursue the conversation with her, because, at this point, he's lost interest due to her problems with cleanliness (can't blame him a bit). But now I know that her mind might be thinking it's 20 years ago! If she realized where she was today, she never would have said that!
bless your heart , sometimes we have to fight with stinky elders , stinkin just so bad ,
dad used to fight with me then he realize it doesnt do any good cuz i just reach in his mouth and grab them dentures . now he cant wear them cuz he doesnt know how to suck the denture up in place . falls down falls out , spent 1800. on upper denture last summer and he cant even wear it ! this fall i found a place where its only 400 for whole thing ! only wish i took him there in the first place . forget it now . 87 yrs old doesnt swallow good anymore so its soft food from now on .
sounds like ure a cat lover . as most of us are animal lovers ,
keep in touch its a best place tobe at gross out vent out ! thanks to bobbie our caption ! xoxo meow meow ..
I believe this site, this thread in particular, has improved my day-to-day life tremendously. I LAUGH at things now! Lotsa things, like my mom's newfound interest in nudism, or the fact that I have been sitting here all morning listening to the cartoons and Sesame Street that she's been watching (She is a life-long member of MENSA) and especially at myself.
so grab a life ring, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
The story about spraying the person who refused to bathe with Febreeze was priceless! I too get grossed out dealing with my 82-year-old mother who I was never particularly close to, and am now the primary caregiver. She bathes infrequently, often spreads crap around the bathroom, and wears clothes that are dirty and stained. She's an embarrassment and fights me at every turn. When my father and I complain about her sloppiness in the bathroom, she calls us "too fussy."
She does not care about cleanliness at all and never washes her hands and will sit with crap in her pants rather than change to a clean pair of underwear. Needless to say, I won't let her anywhere near the kitchen during food preparation.
She has just given up and that's really hard to deal with. I can't just let her sit in the chair all day and die, but that's what I think she wants. She hasn't had her dentures out for cleaning in God knows how long. The dentures don't fit properly and she cannot chew meat enough to safely swallow. So she chews the meat and then spits it out. I cringed when we were all out to dinner in a nice restaurant with friends and she bent over the plate and spit out the meat!
After reading some of the posts and articles on this site, I realize that it's not her fault – her mind is going – but it's hard to have patience. I'm striving for compassion but it's a daily battle. I so appreciate having a place to vent among others who are experiencing the same thing. Thank you all!
xoxoxo