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Ted let her go to prision I think you said she lives in NY City-maybe they will send her to Bedford there are some mean big mammams there they will straighten the little witch out fast -I had some as pt.s she will change her strips mighty fast they so not take no nonsense good luck and try to get some peace and quiet.
Yea, my parents divorced 40 years ago. For some reason the Attorneys are all asking for a retainer before they even look at my documentation, but that's the way it is I guess. Thanks for the link I'll check it out and add it into the collection.
Jam, All there with the "Do you have your ear in?". Crazy cow likes to mess with me & make me scream. I've screamed too much of my life away & would like to be quiet now....she knows this & Fs with me over it. That and so many other things. God bless her real hard little heart. Ted, The inheritance usually is assumed by the spouse. Had your parents been divorced for the funds to be split among the siblings? Most attorneys work on a percentage of the settlement given (30%) in a lawsuit. No funds up front should be required. You will need to gather documentation & records, but you are entitled to what you are entitled to. If this woman goes to prison it is because she is a criminal.....(period). You do not need to contact her or suffer any more abuse. If she does call social services on you, you can explain the situation to the caseworker & they may bring charges against her for false accusations. Alternativesforseniors.com is a great resource in my area. They were somewhat limited in locale but may be everywhere in the states now. They can send a very comprehensive booklet for services available....some you may wish to take advantage of yourself.
Ted, yes I'm trying to help, but if you go hide in a corner, I just might have to come through the computer monitor and pull you out of there :)
Is there anyway that you can redirect this negative energy about sis, etc. to fuel you in the opposite direction? I mean like some abuse victims decide to refocus their anger into energy to create a women's abuse center or work in one or whatever that is a more positive direction. Try to pull your emotions together and focus them on what you need to do, not on how your feelings are keeping you from doing and try to objectify your sister to if you have to just someone who is breaking the law. She's already treating you like an object. So, for self-protection from her f-ing with your brain distance yourself from her emotionally by viewing her as your mom's other child, but not really your sister. Sort of the good use of what the elder brother did say about his prodigal brother by calling him 'this son of your's" to their father. Take care, keep in touch, don't lay down for your mom's other child, and protect your ass.
rossella......you are so right about the conversations..........the thing I have caught myself doing is after speaking with my MIL, I YELL when I talk with anyone else. My hubby looks at me and asks why are you always yelling at me......and then I realize the cause. I have to ask her everyday if she has her "ears" in......oh yes I do....and do they make noise.....well no.....how long has this been going on......well I don't know.......so now I also keep track of battery changes. We have managed the heal the decub on her behind.....what's next?
I know, I know, I know, It's just hard, all this mess. But Crowe, thanks again, You're one of very few people in my life who are willing to tell it like it is. And knowing that you're doing it for my benefit is the only reason it doesn't send me into some corner to hide.
"worry what my sister is doing might land her in prison." Yes, and a therapist years ago in a mental hospital told my wife that from the stories my wife told her about her mother's financial lifestyle that her mom belonged in prison. That was a tough pill to swallow but it is true. For example she forged my wife's name on a $10,000 CD and thus we became liable for the tax. All this really was a way for her mother to pay less taxes, but it sure messed up ours. I finally convinced my wife to tell her mother to take her name off of that CD that she never signed.
A friend of mine's son had been looking for a job to play with a band as a drummer. Well, an opportunity came along with a $40,000 salary offer. He turned it down because he did not want to hurt his sister's feelings who was not employed at the time and the band did not need her. Now, he is married, has a child, and no job. A really big part of his problem is that he is a mom enmeshed man who did to him what his dad's mom did to his dad.
Ted, somehow, you are going to have to objectify your sister into someone who is breaking the law that just happens to be related to you
I'm working on compiling a collection of various Caregiver resources for the support group I belong. The group is not limited to elder-caregivers, it is open to caregivers of all types of family care recipients. Does anybody have any info on resources you might want me to include in the collection? If so, could you send the web address or phone numbers or addresses to my through my wall on this site? thanks Ted.
Thanks, I can see it that way too. One of the reasons that I'm so hesitant to go full blast with an attorney (other than the cost -which I can't afford right now) is that I worry what my sister is doing might land her in prison. it's just all so frustrating. I'm working so hard, and sacrificing so much so that my mom might have as good of an end-of-life experience as possible, and I have to deal with this on top of it? Frustrating.
ted , ur sister is so worried about whats going to happen , shes afraid shes gonna get bit in the hindend . shes trying to scare you ! dont let her fool you . shes the ones that's going to lose her sleep . so sleep good ted i believe you ll do just fine ..
Ted, you have come a very long way, but I'm probably one of the few one whose will bluntly say, "Stop Laying Down for your f-ing sister." Your sister knows where your F.O.G. buttons are. Find some way to hide those buttons.
I'm hoping that some proper rest and relaxation will build my strentgh up so I can stand up to her as i should, but right now, I'm so worn down it all just freaks me out.
Crowe, You got it all right. what you describe is the relationship my sister and I had back when, and I guess she's still in that ugly place that I hope (think) I have been able to grow past. But still, for some reason I still react to her in the same way i used to. Look how long it took me to see what is obviously going on, it's like when anything from my past comes up, I automatically fall back into the old way of thinking and play the role I used to play. Thank you again, You are a valuable friend.
Ted, your at a point of no return it sounds. Lay down and get F-d by your sister which sounds very painful or stand up like Admiral Byrd who once said in battle "dam the torpedoes, full speed ahead" and he won. Dam her f-ing torpedoes. Too bad it's not possible to strap your sister on top of a space rocket and send her into outer space. She's through the full furry of her F.O.G. at you cause she's afraid and probably knows you are stronger than her for if you stand up and keep standing despite all the hellish torpedoes she can fire, at some point her protective shield will expire and so will her house of cards empire. So, yeah, she wants to to be Fearful, feel obligated to obey her like a slave master and feel guilty for ever thinking or trying to think much less even acting to go contrary to say no to such her worshipfulness, sister-dearest who sounds like a twin of the wicked which of the west. You know very well that I wish you the best and I hope something I've said helps.
Rosella, if the other women in my family are all I have to compare her to, Idabelle is the sweetest thing this earth has ever seen. (I actually think she is). And yes, that's what i plan to do, Walk, sit in cafes, see art, -just not in paris. But I'm sure at some point I will think of you, all of you, smile a little smile, and try to freak someone out with my really bad French.
Ted, I understand you. If I could, I would go to Paris and walk along the river and see art exhibitions and drink coffea in those cafés with glass windows and walk miles and miles and miles seeing so many beautiful things. And I have good friends there. Paris is my womb
Ted, your Idabelle is not sweet. She is a cute little monster like all cats. She spills water on your important papers on purpose. My cats walk on my keyboard (with various and sometimes irreversible damages) when they want something from me. When they are happy, they don't do it, because they know very well that they must not do it. This is about Idabelle. About you sister... No comment Sskipe, I understand you so well. The conversations with a Alzheimer are so absurd that you feel like talking to anyone, in order to see if you are still able to speak in a normal manner. I have taken 6 headache pills today, because the headache did not stop and I had many things to do and could not stay in bed, as any normal person should do in these cases. So I am quite drugged but the headache is gone - and the head, too. Next Monday my lawyer should see the DA (we have been trying to talk to him with no result for the last two weeks) and finally we shall know if my mother is accused of drug dealing or money laundering. Maybe we will discover that she is the new chief of the Napolitan Mafia. I am joking because I know that there are no real problems from that point of view. The real problem is that our money is still frozen and we are living out of our relatives' charity. This is pure Dickens! I am going to clean a chimnee. See you later
Ted I sure hope you have a good lawyer. Make sure that he is aware of all this crap she is pulling. Lay some legal groundwork now so it's not forgotten. You have to look out for you.
Me too Ted I found out long ago you do not get points for doing the right thing at least down here you don't but remember your sister will have to account for her behaivor some day and he won't put up with her shit her treasures are here on earth where rust and mold happens and yours are waiting for you some day-in the end she will not get away with anything-I am so sorry for you I am at a loss for words -where is Crowe he can put things in perspective-God give you an extra measure of strength and courage and all his blessings.
Speaking of criminal, Just wanna get this off my chest.
I feel like I am being held at gunpoint and robbed. Most of you know the story of my sister stealing my third of my dad's estate so I'll skip the details, but It occurred me last night that all that recent trash talk against me by her and her completely out-of-the-blue questions about whether I have left mom on the side of some road or not are more than just the smoke-screen I thought she was setting up to distract me from her theft, I see all of her false accusations now as a vieled threat;
"Either stop asking questions about your rightful inheritance or I will fu** with you hard through mom."
My sister has absolutely no idea of what's going on here with me and mom, she hasn't seen mom or even spoken to mom (or me) the phone for more than 5 Minutes (truth) in close to twenty years.
And yet, as soon as I start questioning her about Court Papers that SHOW she hasn't sent me all she was supposed to, I get berated and accused of "picking the pockets of your siblings the elderly and the dead."
She has also accused me of deliberately keeping mom from contact with her, and not giving her mom's address or whereabouts even though she has sent the same pathetic Christmas gift to mom AT OUR ADDRESS for years.
Basically she's saying that if I persue this any more, she is going to start all kinds of trouble with the situation we have at home, no matter how that will affect mom in the process.
Knowing how much I go out of my way to protect mom from any of the emotional or mental nonsense that seems to be a part of life, and knowing how much trouble it is going to cause me just to tackle her theft head-on, It's a very effective threat.
I'm going to go be sick now, Thanks for listening.
Afternoon all, Ted, Catproofing....that's why we only have one. The cats we've had in the past would re-arrange the furniture while we were gone. I learned the hard way not to thaw meat on the counter...watched an entire boneless turkey breast slide down the throat of the dog while the cats were like vultures on the second one. Teamwork at it's finest. Miz, Hope you get your meds OK. I'm off to the doc today to get an alternative for zoloft....had a nasty rash with the last refill so I can't take those anymore.
This will be a mom-free day, other than laundry. Too much crazy for me this week. How is it that we must be nicey nice to wicked reprobates with criminal tendancies just because they turn 65????? I think it's a legit question....and why must we be subjected to this hell for countless years when the only thing keeping them alive is evil????? There are of course wonderful people that make it to senior status that do deserve the love and admiration of us all. I'm speaking of the wicked only. Those who have lived their entire lives in the usery of others and now continue to do so under the guize of "sweet little old". Criminal is criminal at any age. WTF?????????
I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to the break. Being home all the time with mom is, like you, like talking to myself, but unlike you, for some reason I am also looking forward to being alone with my own thoughts and cares. I am tired of playing second fiddle in my life and having to consider the effect on mom of whatever I happen to do. it'll be nice not have to think that way for a while, and know that she is still being taken good care of.
The idea of getting away for a week or two for respite really sounds good! I would probably want to visit my sons in San Diego. Or maybe go to Florida and visit friends there. Or go north and be in the mountains and possibly snow. Ski. Or cross country ski. Or go to the carribean and relax with a coctail. I don't know anyone in the carribean so I probably wouldn't choose that one. Having been isolated here with the dementia (talking to myself basically) I would want to be around people and actually talk to someone! Lately my activity has been to bring mom and her travel wheelchair to the mall and wheel her around and look at stuff in the stores. We really don't talk to anyone except a sales clerk trying to sell something. And I also hate malls. The air is stale in there. I always have to visit the pet store to see the cute puppies. We go to lunch sometimes but it is always more of a pain the a** than it's worth. So that's the scoop with me.
One of the diamonds came out of my wedding set. I remember hitting my ring on a drawer at work yesterday. Hopefully I will find it in there. It's a very small one so it's doubtful. Looks like one of the prongs broke off. Vent vent vent. I'm sorry, that seems to be all I can do right now.
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I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
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Thanks for the link I'll check it out and add it into the collection.
Ted, The inheritance usually is assumed by the spouse. Had your parents been divorced for the funds to be split among the siblings? Most attorneys work on a percentage of the settlement given (30%) in a lawsuit. No funds up front should be required. You will need to gather documentation & records, but you are entitled to what you are entitled to. If this woman goes to prison it is because she is a criminal.....(period). You do not need to contact her or suffer any more abuse. If she does call social services on you, you can explain the situation to the caseworker & they may bring charges against her for false accusations.
Alternativesforseniors.com is a great resource in my area. They were somewhat limited in locale but may be everywhere in the states now. They can send a very comprehensive booklet for services available....some you may wish to take advantage of yourself.
GOD bless, favor & protect us.
Is there anyway that you can redirect this negative energy about sis, etc. to fuel you in the opposite direction? I mean like some abuse victims decide to refocus their anger into energy to create a women's abuse center or work in one or whatever that is a more positive direction. Try to pull your emotions together and focus them on what you need to do, not on how your feelings are keeping you from doing and try to objectify your sister to if you have to just someone who is breaking the law. She's already treating you like an object. So, for self-protection from her f-ing with your brain distance yourself from her emotionally by viewing her as your mom's other child, but not really your sister. Sort of the good use of what the elder brother did say about his prodigal brother by calling him 'this son of your's" to their father. Take care, keep in touch, don't lay down for your mom's other child, and protect your ass.
But Crowe, thanks again, You're one of very few people in my life who are willing to tell it like it is. And knowing that you're doing it for my benefit is the only reason it doesn't send me into some corner to hide.
"worry what my sister is doing might land her in prison." Yes, and a therapist years ago in a mental hospital told my wife that from the stories my wife told her about her mother's financial lifestyle that her mom belonged in prison. That was a tough pill to swallow but it is true. For example she forged my wife's name on a $10,000 CD and thus we became liable for the tax. All this really was a way for her mother to pay less taxes, but it sure messed up ours. I finally convinced my wife to tell her mother to take her name off of that CD that she never signed.
A friend of mine's son had been looking for a job to play with a band as a drummer. Well, an opportunity came along with a $40,000 salary offer. He turned it down because he did not want to hurt his sister's feelings who was not employed at the time and the band did not need her. Now, he is married, has a child, and no job. A really big part of his problem is that he is a mom enmeshed man who did to him what his dad's mom did to his dad.
Ted, somehow, you are going to have to objectify your sister into someone who is breaking the law that just happens to be related to you
If so, could you send the web address or phone numbers or addresses to my through my wall on this site? thanks Ted.
it's just all so frustrating. I'm working so hard, and sacrificing so much so that my mom might have as good of an end-of-life experience as possible, and I have to deal with this on top of it?
Frustrating.
Thank you again, You are a valuable friend.
And yes, that's what i plan to do, Walk, sit in cafes, see art, -just not in paris. But I'm sure at some point I will think of you, all of you, smile a little smile, and try to freak someone out with my really bad French.
Paris is my womb
Sskipe, I understand you so well. The conversations with a Alzheimer are so absurd that you feel like talking to anyone, in order to see if you are still able to speak in a normal manner.
I have taken 6 headache pills today, because the headache did not stop and I had many things to do and could not stay in bed, as any normal person should do in these cases. So I am quite drugged but the headache is gone - and the head, too.
Next Monday my lawyer should see the DA (we have been trying to talk to him with no result for the last two weeks) and finally we shall know if my mother is accused of drug dealing or money laundering. Maybe we will discover that she is the new chief of the Napolitan Mafia. I am joking because I know that there are no real problems from that point of view. The real problem is that our money is still frozen and we are living out of our relatives' charity. This is pure Dickens! I am going to clean a chimnee. See you later
Being a good person can be so tough ....
lovbob
I feel like I am being held at gunpoint and robbed. Most of you know the story of my sister stealing my third of my dad's estate so I'll skip the details, but It occurred me last night that all that recent trash talk against me by her and her completely out-of-the-blue questions about whether I have left mom on the side of some road or not are more than just the smoke-screen I thought she was setting up to distract me from her theft, I see all of her false accusations now as a vieled threat;
"Either stop asking questions about your rightful inheritance or I will fu** with you hard through mom."
My sister has absolutely no idea of what's going on here with me and mom, she hasn't seen mom or even spoken to mom (or me) the phone for more than 5 Minutes (truth) in close to twenty years.
And yet, as soon as I start questioning her about Court Papers that SHOW she hasn't sent me all she was supposed to, I get berated and accused of "picking the pockets of your siblings the elderly and the dead."
She has also accused me of deliberately keeping mom from contact with her, and not giving her mom's address or whereabouts even though she has sent the same pathetic Christmas gift to mom AT OUR ADDRESS for years.
Basically she's saying that if I persue this any more, she is going to start all kinds of trouble with the situation we have at home, no matter how that will affect mom in the process.
Knowing how much I go out of my way to protect mom from any of the emotional or mental nonsense that seems to be a part of life, and knowing how much trouble it is going to cause me just to tackle her theft head-on, It's a very effective threat.
I'm going to go be sick now, Thanks for listening.
Ted, Catproofing....that's why we only have one. The cats we've had in the past would re-arrange the furniture while we were gone. I learned the hard way not to thaw meat on the counter...watched an entire boneless turkey breast slide down the throat of the dog while the cats were like vultures on the second one. Teamwork at it's finest.
Miz, Hope you get your meds OK. I'm off to the doc today to get an alternative for zoloft....had a nasty rash with the last refill so I can't take those anymore.
This will be a mom-free day, other than laundry. Too much crazy for me this week.
How is it that we must be nicey nice to wicked reprobates with criminal tendancies just because they turn 65?????
I think it's a legit question....and why must we be subjected to this hell for countless years when the only thing keeping them alive is evil?????
There are of course wonderful people that make it to senior status that do deserve the love and admiration of us all. I'm speaking of the wicked only. Those who have lived their entire lives in the usery of others and now continue to do so under the guize of "sweet little old". Criminal is criminal at any age.
WTF?????????
love,
miz